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I want to look like her.

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~Fishnets/Thigh Highs~

(I own none of the pictures stated otherwise. My only credit is the editing of the photos.)

Not pro anything, just using tags. Don’t report, just block <3

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Getting happy with my waist 😊 Ig: minimahelena

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Spinespo

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🤞 requested hand thinspo for @unicornglitteryblood and anon 🤞

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6 Types of Childhood Abuse | psych2go (new release) 

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you wanna look like a princess? you have to work for it. your kingdom won’t be built in a day ⭐️ [not mine]

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Borderline Personality Disorder Through My Eyes (Trigger Warning)

This is a poem I wrote a couple months ago and I figured I would share it with you guys. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THIS AND CLAM IT AS YOUR OWN I HAVE WORKED VERY HARD ON THIS. 

Attachments, not a big issue, right?

You thought wrong.

When I get attached it is game over.

Because attachment leads to something else….

Abandonment.

Abandonment is very frightening for me.

Once I get attached I fear that person will leave. 

It is not just any worry, no. 

It takes over my life.

It is a huge fear. 

It feels like someone took a knife,

And is stabbing me and taking their time inserting the blade, 

Then it is repeated, millions of times.

Then, when I least expect it,

The word “goodbye” are muttered.

The knife slowly twists.  

What do I do when I feel like someone is going to abandon me?

I take frantic efforts to avoid it.

They must stay in my life. 

They are the one thing that matters most in my life.

I will bring them gifts to remember me by,

Because when I know they are going to abandon me,

I want them to remember me for who I was.

Not who my disorder makes me.

When this fear comes true I am left in complete shock.

Feelings of self harm flood my mind.

As well as suicidal thoughts.

I can’t live without this person.

What purpose does my life have now that they are gone?

None, absolutely none.

Because of this I fear bonding with anyone. 

I keep memories of this person.

When I look at them they give me comfort.

It feels like they are with me. 

During this stage I cry a lot. 

I feel numb.

I feel like life can’t go on anymore. 

I have no purpose without this person. 

I experience extreme mood swings.

Often in turn of something small. 

I will fly into a rage.

I will start punching the walls.

I will start shouting obscenities at myself.

I am very impulsive.

When something small happens, I am quick to react. 

I quickly result to irrational thinking.

Which in turn leads to outbursts.

I sometimes resort to self medicating.

Sometimes with intent to kill myself.

Sometimes just as a form of punishment.

I self harm.

It is an attempt to punish myself. 

For acting out in the smallest way,

Or for my mood swings.

Sometimes for other reasons. 

It is my way of letting out the anger I have towards myself. 

My relationship with my friends is very rocky.

If they say something I do not like,

I am quick to go off.

I threaten things when things do not go my way. 

I manipulate them sometimes by threatening suicide or self harm,

Sometimes both.

My relationship with my parents is similar.

When my mom and I get into fights I just want to end it all.

My irrational mind takes over in situations like these. 

I either feel nothing,

Or feel everything. 

I dissociate sometimes,

In a situation of intense stress.

I feel non existent.

I do not feel like a functional human being. 

It is like my brain and soul have left my body.

I could be sitting somewhere,

Feeling absolutely nothing.

The best way I can describe it is,

It is like you are sitting on a cloud.

It is floating in the sky.

But you cannot feel the cloud underneath you.

You cannot feel anything. 

You cannot even feel your body.

I have a very unstable sense of self.

My self esteem is low most of the time,

But when it is not I feel on top of the world.

Like I am the most beautiful person on the planet.

This fluctuates a lot,

Often changes in a matter of minutes.

I experience reoccurring suicidal thoughts,

If someone does not want to talk to me,

Or is ignoring me,

What am I supposed to do?

Oh,

Yeah, I should kill myself because that will make everything better.

Sometimes I will even go as far as suicidal behavior.

Trying to hang myself with a wire hanger,

Or trying to overdose on pills.

I feel the world would be better off without me.

I feel empty,

Quite a lot.

I feel numb. 

It is like I am feeling no emotion at all.

I feel insulted by the slightest criticism.

Someone could give me a look,

Or say something, 

That I do not like and I will overreact.

I feel depressed a lot.

I feel miserable,

Hopeless,

That I have no purpose,

That I am not pretty,

As well as other things. 

Borderline Personality Disorder,

This is what it is like

Through my eyes.  

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“How beautiful it is to find someone who ask for nothing but your company.”

— Brigitte Nicole

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Finally reached a new lowest weight, which isn’t even low, but 98 lbs at least.