how-to-greek-god

[how-to-greek-god]

(Ranting about a comment I saw on TikTok.)

I genuinely need people to stop blaming ancient Greek religion/the gods for ancient Greek societal conventions like infanticide, slavery, and misogyny.

Exposed infants were protected by Kourotrophos gods!

Versions of the gods exist who were liberators of enslaved persons!

Women undeniably found the most freedom in the religious sphere!

For all of ancient Greece's sociocultural conservatism, the gods virtually demanded that worshippers subvert customs. In the words of my professor, "The Greek gods are a lot more progressive than you'd expect from the conservative ancient Greeks."

[how-to-greek-god]

There's nothing more romantic to me than Hera and Zeus in Their celestial aspects. She's the Goddess of the Sky and Stars. He's the God of the Sky and Storms. I bet They just dance around in the aether making pretty colors sometimes.

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-Medusa-

I've had this sitting around as a sketch for awhile, finally had time to finish it! Hoping to do more mythology illustration this year.

[how-to-greek-god]

If I may once again dip my toe into the discourse surrounding Greek Mythology, a lot of people like to rewrite or reframe the story of Medusa, and that’s great! Highly encourage it. But, DON’T YOU DARE GO AND DEMONIZE MY BOY PERSEUS!

Perseus isn’t some vile misogynist who hunts down and murders Medusa for the hell of it. He’s a scared kid who’s trying to save his mom from a forced marriage (whom herself has been a victim of terrible abuse from her father) to a creepy evil king and gets duped by the Gods into cleaning up their mess for them. He’s not the villain, he’s just another pawn. So if I see one more motherfucker trying to make him out to be the “real monster” I will throw hands.

You know what would be way more interesting?! Medusa sees Perseus rolling up to her crib and freaks out cause ‘holy shit this is a fucking kid. a fucking toddler with a sword and shield.’ and they hash it out and then TEAM UP to kill the evil kind trying to force marry Perseus’ mother! Think of the dynamics that you could write! The interactions that could occur. I mean, one of ‘em is gonna have to wear a blindfold but hey, minor problems.

What I’m saying is, gimme a buddy cop movie where Perseus and Medusa team up to fight evil in Ancient Greece.

[how-to-greek-god]

I hate it when I talk wistfully about the ancient world and then people are like “you wouldn’t survive back then” yeah obviously I would die immediately but do you think achilles would be able to survive in the modern world if he had to send one polite email? no

[how-to-greek-god]

I feel like we all collectively sleep on the fact that Dionysus was, in fact, a demigod before he was a god. In a number of ways. There are so many unused concepts and ideas. Do you think that he prayed to his family members the way that a mortal would? Did he beg them not to let him die, groveling at the feet of their statues? How close did he find himself coming to death? Did Thanatos have any sort of mercy on him? How many times was the god of death held back from the son of Zeus? Did Dionysus ever wish for death to finally come?

[how-to-greek-god]

yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow

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shut up apollo you’re ruining the sleepover

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Demeter and Persephone!

[how-to-greek-god]

Being a Greek myth lover nowadays is way harder than one would think, y’all…

[how-to-greek-god]

there are only three genders: primordial, titan, and olympian

[how-to-greek-god]

Hera: Today we're making Fuck-Off pie.

Hera: You're gonna need one cup of No-One-Cares, a dash of Kiss-My-Ass, add some Fuck-You's, and a pinch of Blow-Me.

Hera: You're gonna wanna stir it all together, and shove it up your ass.

[how-to-greek-god]

Remembering the one Hades and Persephone fanfic retelling I read where the author had clearly never eaten a pomegranate in their life and just had the character in the Persephone role take a bite out of the side like an apple

[how-to-greek-god]

floating down the river styx on an inflatable donut and high-fiving all the lost souls i pass. i’m on vacation

[how-to-greek-god]

yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow

[how-to-greek-god]

hades and persephone except [tells it worse than ever before/the same as every other modern adaptation]

#oi what up love i’m hades styles #[persephone trembled and her messy bun quivered with her] [she stared into hades’ pale blue orbs] m-m-mr styles?!

[how-to-greek-god]

I don't know why but this is so fucking funny to me

For no reason either.

You know how Zeus is the father of everyone? Demeter is basically the mother of everyone.

Also Dionysus being Artemis' dad feels cursed.... Like I'm not trying to be rude but that's scary