howam-i-theparent

[howam-i-theparent]

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

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new alignment chart just dropped

[howam-i-theparent]

WAIT I HAVE AN AWESOME HOUSE DESIGN

[howam-i-theparent]

When you are alone and have a heart attack. What are you gonna do then?

Take a 2 minute break and read this:

Let's say it's 5:25 pm and you're driving home after an unusually hard day's work.

You are really tired and frustrated. All of a sudden your chest pains. They are starting to radiate in the arm and jaw. It feels like being stabbed in the chest and heart. You're only a few miles away from the nearest hospital or home.

Unfortunately you don't know if you can make it..

Maybe you've taken CPR training, but the person running the course hasn't told you how to help yourself.

How do you survive a heart attack when you're alone when it happens? A person who is feeling weak and whose heart is beating hard has only about 10 seconds before losing consciousness.

1. But you can help yourself by coughing repeatedly and very strongly! Deep breaths before every cough. Coughing should be repeated every second until you arrive at the hospital or until your heart starts to beat normally.

2. Deep breathing gives oxygen to your lungs and coughing movements boost the heart and blood circulation. Heart pressure also helps to restore a normal heartbeat. Here's how cardiac arrest victims can make it to the hospital for the right treatment

3. Cardiologists say if someone gets this message and passes it on to 10 people, we can expect to save at least one life.

4. FOR WOMEN: You should know that women have additional and different symptoms. Rarely have crushing chest pain or pain in the arms. Often have indigestion and tightness across the back at the bra line plus sudden fatigue.

[howam-i-theparent]

*Walks out of the bar covered in blood and with stab wounds*

'You should have seen the other guy'

*When you go into the bar it's empty, not a single person in sight. In a corner there's a mop with a fake mustache taped to it, it's covered in kiss marks*

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im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing

[howam-i-theparent]

we need more lesbians guys

[howam-i-theparent]

i love six o clock because the clock looks so stupid. "|" like get real

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[howam-i-theparent]

these tweets are holding hands