humongousfurybeard

[humongousfurybeard]

not feeling very hundred emoji flame emoji today

#this could truly only get this much traction on Tumblr

[humongousfurybeard]

[humongousfurybeard]

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

[humongousfurybeard]

**if you have multiple partners, pick the largest height difference ***yes the inches/cm arent exactly the same but i did my best, sorry for being usamerican

i hate to reblog beg but...... im desperate to see the results

#30% of this website being single is so typical #I love us

[humongousfurybeard]

Part 1

Part 3

#waltzing back into rekindled flames #that lyric gets me every time

[humongousfurybeard]

He’s coming to boop you

[humongousfurybeard]

It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

#welcome to 2024

[humongousfurybeard]

#the black dog

[humongousfurybeard]

Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

[humongousfurybeard]

no multi option, agonize and choose, no results option, pick one to find out or scroll onward

#anything to get me out of laundry

[humongousfurybeard]

i think that the "i do not control the ____" memes are generally tame and do not lend enough credence to the genuine absurdity of the original line that is

[humongousfurybeard]

Trying to figure out the article the girl next to me on the train is reading for her Global Health course, because it looks really interesting and I'm obsessed with her note taking (copy-pasting relevant paragraphs and adding commentary like "DUH" and "so obvious").

#I know I'm not supposed to look at people's screens on the train #But she's doing the master's I did last year and I'm curious about the reading they're doing this year #also she's doing a different elective than me so might learn something new

[humongousfurybeard]

Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest

Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind

Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone

[humongousfurybeard]

My early 20's was really me like "I WISH I had the time to eat healthy, sleep, and work out but I just have too many other important things in my life right now" meanwhile I was emotionally absent, disassociating from stress and lack of sleep and nutrition, and totally abandoning myself for an idealized version of me I thought I could become simply by force and willpower

Insane to reflect on like....if you don't take care of yourself you actually CANT show up for anything you love or want

Why doesn't anyone teach us that

#wait #I'm in my early 20s now #and this is me #what am I supposed to be doing?

[humongousfurybeard]

Your honor I think you'll find that my message "I am going to kill you with a hammer tomorrow morning as you leave for work I know your routine and I will catch you" did not have "/srs" attached to it

[humongousfurybeard]

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

[humongousfurybeard]