iamsleepingalonetonightagain

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

being medicated is insane bc i’ve broken down sobbing for the second night this week after being off for 2 days its so weird to know it worked until u jusy feel worse i rhink

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

crying. doesnr feek bery good i want more ouy of this i want closure ill never stop chasing closrure

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

think i meed to suck it up and like. cry and break down. dont want to tho dont want to waste any more time crying im so upset im still lingering idk i just need to end it all This is for me i need to. Relax

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

convinced only feederism play can cure my ed

#/joke but also not #obv not the dark side of that kink but the encouragements to eat and praise for eating and olaying with ur belly

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hate feeling so fucking strange about myself all the time urgh

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

i am getting skinnier naturally it will happen i Will reach 120 pounds.

#im at 159 rn. 40 more to go thats gonna be like what. maybe 3-5 years. if its alllll natural baby

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

mental illness mentalling so hard rn.

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

yknow that autistic struggle of having foods u rlly enjoy but being broke so u cant eat them often and when u do it basically finishes and u feel gross and bad. i guess

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

i’m so annoyed bc i keep thinking the more and more i suffer the more i’ll learn and grow and learn to accept and love things as they are but i don’t know if thats working really. i get so tired around being friends despite having barely any now. it’s weird

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

half and half debating if i should go back to my friends place cause thats where im sleeping rn or just crash at my place and sleep with no bedding

#just too sad still i think and too anxious to go back there

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

sobbing for an hour straight kills a man

i want to talk to her

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

suffering from needing friends disorder, its eating me out alive, everything feels so weird all the time i just wanna go away for real and then come back. i’m in hiding but i want someone to find me so badly

#im so sad i miss my friends i miss having ppl to tag along to places with and laugh and hang out #im really sad all the time tbh

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

going alone to goth night despite having had 2 people who said they were gonna come right up until today i wanna punch a wall

#fuck whyever i guess i’m iust gonna dance alone and whatevee

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

trying not to fal over snd die thinking abt the factbthat i spent all week getting ready for a show and i still dont feel ready and feel ugly as fuck too and annoying an dterrible

#im drinking yomorow tho so hopefully im not in such an insecure bad mood

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

i can’t stop feeling bad and understimulatef i’m so dead

#and have to prepare mentally to gonout to a public event since a long ass time and potentially spotting okd freinds and being sick #im neevous i just wanna sleep and have everuyhing be done already

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

i’m so upset i have to start off living alone in an apartment i like don’t even really know how to manage, how do people just know things??? how am i supposed to clean my weird shower??? the floors just keeps getting dirty and dirty what do i do??? sigh

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

god fucking dammit i wanna relapse in my ed soooo bad bc i’m an adult who has little to no income and groceries are expensive and it just seems more convinient but my scale is broken and i dont even know how mhch i weigh rn :( irs like 175 i hink which sucks ughahhhhh

#i wanna lose weight so bad :(