ifeelbetter22nowurg0ne

[ifeelbetter22nowurg0ne]

It feels like viewing life through a distorted lens as if I, the voyeur is far away from the events happening and only get to view people and things and never participate. Words I say and things I do feel like scripted actions from a game, like I have no real will or any part in deciding or determining the trajectory of my own life. I would be able to give atleast brief descriptions of the people around me and their characters. I'm not completely oblivious to people, but again I'm not part of it. Just like playing a game and observing the characters...it's a bit odd. I constantly feel a wall between me and the others around me, and anytime I try to get a little close, or do something unexpected it feels like choosing the "wrong option" in a game and seeing the npcs react bitterly to your choice and just feeling humiliated and belittled, it's like I'm trying and clawing at the surface of the bubble that keeps and restricts me in, isolated and they just laugh at me trying to escape it. Like a monkey in a zoo exhibit pawing desperately at the glass as spectators giggle and take pictures.

[ifeelbetter22nowurg0ne]

Realistically I could never get rid of tumblr because it gives me the illusion of a community of strange young women all around my same age, all slowly figuring out how to live too

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[ifeelbetter22nowurg0ne]

- Tennesse Williams

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there’s no shame in admitting that none of us have any concept of how big a whale is

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I think napping here would fix me a little. 🌙☁️

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Arthur Claude Strachan (detail)

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[ifeelbetter22nowurg0ne]

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cant be caught writing too much epic stuff on here because if so when I die they're gonna fucking publish my tumblr girlblogging

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I'm like if a girl had the urge to scream and break something all the time but stays quiet instead

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the time of the year where i submerge myself with kafka's works

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this is how i feel existing

a post even a mutual couldn't love

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i hope that you choke on your wisdom

[ifeelbetter22nowurg0ne]

i feel like a sick little thing, a sick little rock in a room of gorgeous gorgeous people with vast vast brains with lavish lavish riches and i'm just here like "hey im just a worthless rock with no skills or defining traits I hope you choke! haha"