im-queen-of-the-black-forest

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

A Quiet Eve-ah Nevermind

Secondo: * chilling on his couch, reading a book. As we watch he lifts a glass of wine and takes a sip* …

* and then the door bursts open, bouncing off the wall with force. *

Terzo: *sweeps through the door in a huff, stomps over to the couch Secondo is sitting on, and flops onto the opposite end, face down in a pillow*

Secondo: *who hasn’t looked up from his book* Won’t you come in, brother darli-? *he jerks sharply as Terzo lets out an anguished scream muffled by the pillow* OK?!… rough day?

Terzo: *face still in the pillow* NO SHIT SHERLOCK

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #papa secondo #papa emeritus lll #papa emeritus II #papa terzo

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Leroy Jenkins

Omega and Alpha: *standing on top of one of the Abby buildings, staring down into the courtyard three stories below*

Omega: So, that’s the new air ghoulette?

Alpha: Yyyyyyyup

*in the courtyard we see a freshly summoned Sunshine running full tilt away from a few other ghouls and making an unholy high pitched shrieking sound. Gusts of wind kick up around her as she runs, making the trees sway and occasionally knocking a ghoul on their ass*

Omega:….thats 20 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound bag.

#ghost band #quote from leverage #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #sunshine ghoulette #alpha ghoul #omega ghoul

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

And Your Lucky Numbers Are…

*We see all four papas sitting around a meeting room. From the general restlessness we can tell they’ve been waiting for a while*

Secondo: *standing by the door, frequently glancing out the little window* Where the hell’s she at? She said 8am right?

Copia: Yes she did… maybe she overslept?

Primo: No. Imperator doesn’t oversleep. She sets an alarm to set her alarm.

Terzo: *trying to balance a pencil on his nose* “A man with one watch always knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.”

Secondo:….

Copia:…..

Primo:….?

Terzo:…I had fortune cookies for breakfast.

Copia: You mean you had left over Chinese for breakfast?

Terzo: No. Just the cookies

Copia: Do you like… put milk on the fortune cookies?

Terzo: It’s not cereal! It’s fortune cookies!

#ghost band #quote from Leverage #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #papa secondo #papa primo #papa terzo #papa copia #papa emeritus lll #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus iv #papa emeritus ii

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

kthnxbai ~

Tales from the Ghoul group chat

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PrincessRainy: who tf keeps changing my name?

~~~PrincessRainy changed their name to RainItIn~~~

~~~SwistopherWalken changed RainItIn’s name to PrincessRainy~~~

PrincessRainy: LISTEN YOU TOOTHY BASTARD

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4:06 AM- Message from:

MountAndDoMe: *accompanied by a blurry picture, clearly taken in the woods, of many white blobs in various sizes* I got so many more teeth than I was expecting today!

CumulativeGPA: Deeply ominous thing to say friend

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SunnyBoner :what kind of brain space are you giving?

PhannyDantom: like, 45%? The rest is mental illness and work.

SunnyBoner: Your mind Budgeting is in shambles.

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AtheOfBathe: You’ll be happy to know I’m out

AuroraBoreanaz: Out…of where?

AtheOfBathe: Out of pictures

AuroraBoreanaz: Oh ok! I thought you had been released.

AtheOfBathe: Nope! Still stuck in the pit.

AuroraBoreanaz: Thank Satan. Also bring me back a doughnut plz

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3:45AM- Message from:

DewDaBaDeeDaBaDie: Have you ever felt like a mother lifting a bus?

12:14PM

SwisstopherWalken: Elaborate

DewDaBaDeeDaBaDie: Can not. I do not remember sending this

WhySoCirrus: into the collection it goes

DewDaBaDeeDaBaDie: what collection?

WhySoCirrus: mine

SwisstopherWalken: of what?

WhySoCirrus: cursed things you dipshits say at ass-o’clock in the morning

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BONUS: The Papa Group chat

Terzetto: Anyone else think it’s a bit Muggy out today?

PrimHoe: If I walk outside and find every mug I own on the ground I’m sacrificing you to the old one

Terzetto: did you know you can drink coffee out of a measuring cup?

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CopiousAmountsOfRats: I’m telling people we broke up because you refused to grind to Bicycle by Queen

2Sexy4MyHair: this is the group chat idiota, sext Terzo on your own time

#ghost band #most of these quotes are based on real conversations #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #mountain ghoul #swiss ghoul #cirrus ghoulette #rain ghoul #phantom ghoul #sunshine ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #aurora ghoulette #secondo ghost #papa emeritus I #papa emeritus II #papa emeritus lll #papa emeritus iv #primo ghost #terzo ghost #papa copia #birdie: Ace reporter

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Festive Yule to all

Swiss: *popping up behind Aether, holding an unidentified stuffie* hey Aethe? What did you get Papa for Yule?

Aether: Oh! I got him a rat plushie!

Swiss: Really? *lifts plush* Me too!

Aurora: *pulling a plush out of her bag* Me, too?

Sunny: *holding a box with a tail coming out of it* erm

Cumulus and Cirrus: *peering in from the kitchen* We also got him a rat plush…

Rain and Phantom: *each holding up a bag with a stuffed snoot poking out of it* Looks like we had the same idea.

Mountain: *holding a rat shaped package* Dew, please tell me you didn’t get Papa a stuffed rat for Yule.

Dew: I got him… one that squeaks?

*Cut to Copia sitting on the floor of the ghoul common room amidst a huge pile of rat plushies, only his face visible. As we look an arm emerges from the pile and squeezes a bunch of the plushies, all of them squeak*

Copia: THIS IS THE BEST YULE EVER!!

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #mountain ghoul #swiss ghoul #rain ghoul #cirrus ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #phantom ghoul #aurora ghoulette #sunshine ghoulette #joke stolen from kentyxxz on TikTok

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Community Service

We open on the ghoul common room, cozy, warmly lit, and with a fire crackling peacefully on the hearth. On the couch we see Phantom and Cumulus sitting at opposite ends with a deck of cards between them

Phantom: Got any 3s?

Cumulus: Go-

*from outside the common room we hear a jumble of voices, growing closer and closer *

Cumulus: -fish?

*the common room door bursts open, swinging so hard it rebounds off the wall with a bang. Aether enters in a huff, carrying a squirming Dewdrop over his shoulder*

Dewdrop: *visibly scratched up, sleeves shredded, hair a mess, and covered in dirt* -AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! I AM FILING A POLICE REPORT !! THAT CAT TRIED TO ASSASSINATE ME!!!

Cirrus: * coming through the door, covered in dirt and sticks* THAT WASN’T A CAT YOU DINGBAT, IT WAS A FUCKING MOUNTAIN LION

Swiss: *behind Cirrus, also visibly scratched* AND YOU AREN’T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO QUALIFY FOR ASSASSINATION!

Dew:*being carried towards the first aid kit by Aether* THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL WHAT IT DID TO ME?!

Mountain: *bringing up the rear, and slamming the door* A SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY!

*the little crowd of ghouls continue arguing as Aether picks up the med kit and continues down the hall. Their voices fading as they walk*

Phantom:…*picks up a card* ha! *puts a pair down* Uno!

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #mountain ghoul #swiss ghoul #cirrus ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #phantom ghoul #joke stolen from francis #as per usual

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

If he’s Mr Worldwide he’s gotta spin right?

Secondo: *walking out to the middle of a crowded plaza, clearly looking for something as he pulls out his phone* *txting* Where are you stronzo?

Terzo: *via txt* Turn around idiota

Secondo: *turns completely around*

Terzo: *txt* No, the other way

Secondo: *turns again* ?

Terzo: *txt* No! The other other way!

Secondo: *now pissed* *txt* WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!

Terzo: *txt* I’m still six blocks away but the mental image of you spinning like a dumbass is amusing to me ☺️

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #give me so much more of these idiots being the best worst brothers plz #Papa Emeritus II #Papa Emeritus III #Papa Secondo #Papa Terzo #joke stolen from a facebook reel who stole it from TikTok who freebooted it from instagram who got it from a random texting screen grab

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Spicy baby

Freshly summoned Aether: *peering down at a mass of blankets on the floor for a moment before gently nudging it with his foot*

Freshly Summoned and extra spicy Dewdrop: *poking his head out of the blanket mound*

HISSSSSSSSSSS

Aether:….*scooping up the blanket mound along with the hissing Dew* You’re my friend now, we’re having soft tacos later!

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #joke from tiktok

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Be a ✨Menace✨

Copia:*in the ghoul huddle puddle before a show* Todays affirmation isn’t even an affirmation, I’m just telling you to be a menace today. Just be a problem, go absolutely FERAL! Be the weirdest, scariest, most beautiful thing anybody’s ever seen today. As a treat.

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #mountain ghoul #swiss ghoul #rain ghoul #cirrus ghoulette #sunshine ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #phantom ghoul #aurora ghoulette #joke stolen from GrumpyGimli

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Cat Behavior

Scene: we see a lovely small town bar, a handful of patrons milling around and music playing softly from a jukebox. The odd ones out in this setting are two young men, one very tall and skinny, one very short and skinny. We see the tall man head for the jukebox, and the shorter one wander up to the bar.

Dewdrop: *walking up to the bar and clambering onto the slightly-too-tall stool* I’ll have a whiskey.

Bartender: *deposits a glass with two fingers of whiskey on the bar infront of Dew*

Dew: *whilst maintaining unblinking eye contact with the bartender, Dew carefully slides the glass to the edge of the bar, waits a second, then pushes the glass off the edge, sending whiskey and broken glass all over the floor*

Bartender: …

Dew: *leaning slightly forward* Another

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #mountain ghoul #joke stolen from PhilJamesson and TheOatmeal

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Tour de Cirrus

Cirrus: *showing a freshly summoned Aurora around the Abby’s grounds and pointing at various objects* -and that’s the light pole Rain ran into when he tried to tackle Dew, and that’s what’s left of the crater from Dew and Cumulus’ s’mores experiment, and that’s the tree Mounty hid in for four days when him and Dew were playing extreme hide-and-go-seek! He ate so many pinecones…*walks over to the edge of the lake* and this is the lake Rain hides in when he’s overwhelmed! It’s really nice and the fish are fun to chase-OH! And there’s this cool statue at the bottom from…ah heck with it lemme show you *begins removing her clothes while looking back at Aurora* You do swim right?

Aurora: *already completely smitten with her* Oh I swim pretty girl-P-PRUH-PRETTY GOOD PRETTY GOOD

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #cirrus ghoulette #aurora ghoulette #dewdrop ghoul #mountain ghoul #rain ghoul #this may be me projecting but Aurora has ‘bi panic’ written all over her to me #quote stolen from Atlantis: The Lost Empire #Aurora’s quote is stolen anyway #Cirrus is talking about events in my cannon #maybe I should write about the great s’mores experiment next

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

L is for the way-

Rain: *curled up with dew in the ghoul nest* Hey Dew? Guess what?

Dew: *almost asleep* hmm?

Rain: Love, is a five letter word.

Dew:…what?

Rain: Because it’s incomplete, without ‘u’ 🥰

Dew: *lil smile*…..lovue?

Rain: No-

Dew: *already falling back asleep* Luove?

Rain: *pulling the blanket over Dews head* shut up.

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #have some tooth rotting fluff #with a side of Dew being dumb❤️ #joke stolen from Chris Hallbeck #love that guy

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Scientific Method

Copia: You learn something new everyday! Like the day before yesterday I learned if you eat 29 slim jims, you’ll throw up! *carefully lifts paper bag* But yesterday I learned if you eat 28 slim jims you’ll also throw up! *carefully pulling a slim jim out of the bag* Logically 27 is my next step, I have high hopes for this.

Terzo: *very concerned* Have you eaten anything besides the slim jims over the last two days?

Copia: *carefully unwrapping a slim jim* Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.

#probably over his shoes

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

Scientific Method

Copia: You learn something new everyday! Like the day before yesterday I learned if you eat 29 slim jims, you’ll throw up! *carefully lifts paper bag* But yesterday I learned if you eat 28 slim jims you’ll also throw up! *carefully pulling a slim jim out of the bag* Logically 27 is my next step, I have high hopes for this.

Terzo: *very concerned* Have you eaten anything besides the slim jims over the last two days?

Copia: *carefully unwrapping a slim jim* Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus 4 #papa copia #cardinal copia #terzo emeritus #joke stolen from francis #as per usual

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

The Chosen One

Copia: For your information, no, I did not wake up and choose violence today. *holds up a shoe that has very clearly been chewed on* I woke up and violence personally informed me I was ✨ the chosen one✨

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #dewdrop ghoul #was it Mountain Swiss or Dew that chewed up the shoe? #not even the author knows #joke swiped from 1dropproductions on tiktok #mountain ghoul #swiss ghoul #papa copia

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

One wild night

Copia: *being dragged, stumbling and giggling like an idiot, through the halls of the ministry* Hehe I’m sooooo drunk

Terzo: *doing the dragging* Who gave this bitch a capri sun and told him it was alcohol?!

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #papa iv #papa emeritus lll #papa copia #papa terzo #copiiia #joke stolen from tiktok

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

You’re just a little ✨silly✨

Phantom: *Mocking Imperators voice* You’re not autistic you’re just a little SILLY! And you cry whenever you hear a loud noise BuT tHaTs UnReLaTeD!!!¡

#ghost band #shitghosting #incorrect ghost quotes #phantom ghoul #sister imperator #imperator gives big ‘mental illness doesn’t exist’ energy #joke stolen from tiktok