imightpullthetrigger

[imightpullthetrigger]

I would really like to know what exactly is wrong with me, that makes me so unlovable?

I‘m really curious.

[imightpullthetrigger]

Anything to be numb

[imightpullthetrigger]

I am a self medicated suicidal insomniac.

[imightpullthetrigger]

Why can’t I just feel happy? Why can’t I just feel beautiful? Why can’t I just be okay?

[imightpullthetrigger]

You continue to overwhelm me with your feelings. I didn’t ask for any of this. Did I?

[imightpullthetrigger]

“i realize now, that loving him was neither beautiful nor poetic; it was knowingly walking through hell every day and losing myself there.”

- a.m. {trying to love someone who is too broken to be fixed}

[imightpullthetrigger]

[imightpullthetrigger]

I take a deep breath of despair it engulfs every organ and bone in my body It is frothing in my ribcage so much of it is inside of me it spills out of the pores of my skin I am emitting despair make it stop

I am morbidly sad it’s become repulsive I do not know what I am anymore I do not know what I consist of anymore I only know that I am made of  despair, angst, and curiosity  I cannot decipher my feelings and words are not enough anymore

[imightpullthetrigger]

[imightpullthetrigger]

There’s a few things in life that hurt more than getting your heart broken. But there’s no greater feeling than being able to finally move on.

Give this song a listen and share it if you enjoyed. https://bit.ly/2VkoRSW

[imightpullthetrigger]

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”

— Charles Bukowski

[imightpullthetrigger]

[imightpullthetrigger]

[imightpullthetrigger]

I’m sorry for not replying to messages when I feel unwanted

I’m sorry for always feeling unwanted

I’m sorry for not wanting to talk about it when I’m upset

I’m sorry I’m always upset

I’m sorry you feel that I’m not acting like myself lately

I’m sorry for losing myself

I’m sorry for lashing out when I’m angry

I’m sorry I’m always angry

I’m sorry for having breakdowns in the middle of the night

I’m sorry for having breakdowns in the middle of the day

I’m sorry for being clingy because I love you

I’m sorry for being unlovable

I’m sorry for needing constant reasurrence because I’m insecure

I’m sorry for being ugly

I’m sorry for isolating myself

I’m sorry for being boring when I decide to be social

I’m sorry because you deserve better

I’m sorry for being worthless

I’m sorry I’m incapable of helping you

I’m sorry for being useless

I’m sorry for burdening you with my sadness

I’m sorry for always being sad

I’m sorry I stayed in bed all day

I’m sorry I’ve stayed in bed all week

I’m sorry for not trying harder to get better

I’m sorry for not getting better

I’m sorry I let these thoughts win

I’m sorry that I’ve stopped fighting them

I’m sorry for wanting to end my life

I’m sorry for trying

I’m sorry that I’ll try again

I’m sorry for always having a reason to be sorry

[imightpullthetrigger]

I want to tell you I'm trying, but maybe I'm not. I'm sinking deeper and deeper into this sadness and this self destruction and it's so easy to just... let it happen.

[imightpullthetrigger]

i wanted to feel loved without feeling like i was begging for it

[imightpullthetrigger]

Keep going. In the end, everything’s gonna work out just fine