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this

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lmao😂/smh🙄

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the mailman is the baby daddy

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FOR MONTHS NOW I GET IT

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I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

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THIS

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The Perfect Explanation of Privilege – In One Powerful Punchline

“The Pencilsword” is a comic strip by Toby Morris, an illustrator from New Zealand. His most recent comic, “On a Plate” hits hard at the heart of the issues of concerning wealth and privilege.

How many times have you heard the “I’ve never been handed anything on a platter” argument in regard to social security and other social benefits?

Toby wrecks this argument by showing how two children can grow up, be loved and supported, and yet still have two very different outcomes.

Make sure to follow all the way to the end for the powerful punchline. This comic is an increasingly sad reality for far too many of this nation’s children and families.

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when you spend enough time looking at unnecessarily gendered products it starts to become clear that the only two real genders are pink and black, so from now on i’m going to ask heterosexual couples which one of them is the stuart semple and which one of them is the anish kapoor

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White privilege can also be hard…

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Don’t stereotype us and then complain if we stereotype you.

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SNL did that™

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RIP Vine †

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My future wife is somewhere suckin a dudes soul out in a Dennys parking lot, keep in classy and don’t forget the balls bae.

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UNBELIEVABLE 

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tr*mp: “we (the us) have become a third world country”

every third world country:

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I told this girl I liked the perfume she was wearing, and she legit got it out of her bag and sprayed it on me like ‘here girl smell sexy with me too’. she was so cute I hope she has a good life

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Did I ever tell you guys that I’m personally barred from entering an entire region in Scotland

And it’s not just a small town. 

I’m forever banned from stepping foot on what is virtually 1/5th of Scotland’s landmass.