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I still remember the nurses who laughed at me after major spine surgery when I was walking around with my butt out because I didn't know to bring shorts to the hospital and wasn't allowed to double my gowns due to the incision location. I still remember the aid who told me that I smelled after days of being unable to move my limbs or get out of bed while sweating uncontrollably from spinal shock and agonizing pain. I sat and cried after that because I had overcome so much that hospital stay just to be dehumanized. Never did they ask if I wanted something to cover up or assistance bathing. Just laughed at me and joked with each other.

I also remember the nurse who checked on me extra during the night with a hospital stay in the middle of covid because they kicked my mom out and I have trauma about being in the hospital alone. She made extra visits to make sure I was okay just like she promised my mom. I remember the nurse who held my hand and called me honey as my limbs trashed and shook from spinal shock.

Basically being a good nurse and being a bad nurse to patients does stay with a person. It's been years and many other hospital stays since a lot of these instances and I still remember them clearly. I know nurses are burnt out, traumatized, and exhausted. Nurses deserve better treatment. But so do patients.

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I am a terrible combination of “whatever happens, happens” and “If everything doesn’t go according to plan, I will vaporize”

#about meme

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All I need is for someone to gently cup my face and tell me I'm not as doomed as I feel.

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sivi what stocks should i buy

invest in love and peace and happiness on planet earth

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Gender? I hardly know her!

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🟨

anerican choese

#undescribed

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i just feel like “what if the trauma we go through is usually not noble but purposeless and terrible and the things we develop to keep us alive often change us for the worse” is one of the most important realizations you can come to in terms of like. empathizing with your fellow man and yet whenever that theme shows up in fiction so many people are immediately like its either PERFECT VICTIM OR IRREDEEMABLY EVIL. open the door and walk out of the dichotomy

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#to read

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#undescribed

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I really cannot emphasize enough the mental health benefits of abandoning the idea that you're special.

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of course that character lives in my brain rent free do i look like a fucking landlord to you?

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irl tumblr meetup with the mutual circle but no one says what their url is so u have to guess who is who

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#undescribed

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when doctors ask if i have any history of cancer in my family and i have to say that yes my grandmother had 2 types of gastrointestinal cancer and they're like oh wow okay so we'll keep an eye out for that but i'm like no it was probably just all the nuclear radiation and they're like ok hm ok what the fuck do you mean and it's very weird seeing the look on american doctors' faces when you have to explain to them that believe it or not atomic bombs were dropped on this earth 2 generations ago and it did have consequences

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Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you

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You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.