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may your next ibuprofen take effect swiftly and noticeably

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Enemies to “I found you while hurt and had to take care of you and in your vulnerable state I saw a side of you I’ve never seen before” to lovers

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does anyone else do this?

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Look at the ground outside. See the brown stuff? That's dirt. Green stuff on top of it? don't get me started

#this is what non landscapers sound like to me when they talk about the outside

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any guilty pleasures

every humanly indulgence makes me quake with shame & humiliation

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got tested for the sleepytired and it came back positive

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if you're 15 I'm sorry

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i love being a woman. its like i have things to do <3 but i wont do them

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I had a dream that Nickelodeon had a 2 hour Roast of Butch Hartman special and they kept showing disclaimers at the end of every commercial break saying that this program would be the only time “fuck” was said on Nickelodeon

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There’s a lot of truth in this…