inmemoryofmillie

[inmemoryofmillie]

😔💙 xx

[inmemoryofmillie]

8 years ago today, I woke up to the worst news of my life.  I’d spoken to you just the night before, without a care in the world, fully expecting to speak again the next day.  I’ll never understand why, and I’ll spend the rest of my life missing you.  Until we meet again, my beautiful best friend <3

[inmemoryofmillie]

😔

My heart hurts so much 💔 xx

[inmemoryofmillie]

Happy 39

Today is your birthday - you would have been 39. I just know you’d be droning on and on, and I can still hear your voice in my head. “Just one more year until I hit a new decade,” cracking jokes about becoming old and decrepit. I’d have know this and planned something imaginative to try to take your mind off that and give you a special day, as you always did for me on mine. We always did try to plan the very best for each other on our special days in that little virtual world we spent so much time in.

I had a dream the other night that you were texting me as you always used to. I don’t know why, but I woke up very suddenly. It was probably just my crazy brain playing tricks on me, but I swear I saw a white and wispy figure above me dart away and disappear into the darkness of our bedroom, almost as if a vacuum was sucking it into another dimension. I know it sounds nuts, but I just can’t help but wonder if that was you.

Two months ago I turned 31 - the age you were when you left us. It was the hardest birthday I’ve ever had. It felt unreal, unnatural, absurd, and it still does. It’s not right and it’s not fair. We were so connected in the most unusual of ways. I constantly look back on the time we watched and reenacted Beaches together in a photo, and the waves of despair come rolling back in. What were the chances? I thought we had more time, I thought we had years to finally meet and do all the silly things we said we’d do. I thought we would grow into a couple of old and crochety hens that just wouldn’t stop talking. I thought you’d stand by my side as I married the love of my life someday, I thought you’d make the very best godmother to any future children I’d have. I’d give anything to have you present with us again.

So much has changed over the past 7 years, but one thing has always remained. I have always and will always hold you in the most sacred, trusted, special place in my head and in my heart. I still try to live my life in ways that would hopefully make you proud and bring you joy. 

Happy birthday in heaven, my beautiful best friend <3

[inmemoryofmillie]

💔 xxxx

[inmemoryofmillie]

Not a day passes that I don’t think of you and wish more than anything you were here.  

[inmemoryofmillie]

Andrea,

I’ve been sitting reading the messages on this page, experiencing a whole heap of emotions, with so many memories flooding back to me. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. Whether it’s a song on the radio, seeing Everton are playing, a Ryan Gosling film, another Royal baby or wedding, so many things make me think of you and bring a smile to my face when I remember past conversations.

Has it really been seven years? I remember the day we lost you like it was yesterday, yet sometimes it feels like a lifetime has passed without you. Now, more than ever I wish we had met in person. I was always so nervous at the thought of it; what if we met and you didn’t like me? I think that was my main worry, I don’t know why.

So much has happened, is happening. I sometimes wonder whether you can see what’s going on, I wonder whether you’d approve of my life choices or whether you’d want to tell me off. I hope that you can see that lately I am happier than I have been in a very long time. I just wish that you were here with me.

I miss you, so much. I always will do.

Your friend,

Rebecca 💙

[inmemoryofmillie]

The world has never been the same after you left us 7 years ago.  This year has just been plain terrible.  You've got to be looking down on the mess that is this world and just shaking your head.  I wish more than anything you were still here to laugh, cry, and make fun of it all.  You always lifted my spirits when nobody else could, you understood me like nobody else ever has.  You will forever be my person and my best friend.  I miss you more than ever.  <3

[inmemoryofmillie]

Millie you were amazing I can't even believe it's been a year without you making us laugh I still look at your TL and giggle, I still think about you at utterly random moments of the day We will never let anyone forget you Saffie xxxx

[inmemoryofmillie]

Millie today for some reason just out of the blue I started thinking about the times we used to talk and it made me so sad to think their was no point in plurking about Yorkshire puds cause you wouldn't be there to be the only one to reply lol. it's just so unreal to think of the times we used to play draw my thing and you would get way over the top at the drawings I sent and how funny yours were in return. There are all these little things that keep you in my thoughts every day.

[inmemoryofmillie]

[inmemoryofmillie]

Missing you today, always, and forever after. 🖤

[inmemoryofmillie]

[inmemoryofmillie]

When is this pain ever going to end, I don’t know how to carry on without you. 💔 xx

[inmemoryofmillie]

[inmemoryofmillie]

I'm lost without you. xx 💔 xx

[inmemoryofmillie]

I miss you every second of my life 💔