ironracoonb

[ironracoonb]

hey cath. its me. iron racoon. its been a long day that i didnt write for u. sorry cath. so sorry for everything. i was so incapable of putting my ego aside and that hurts u a lot.

sometimes, i will be like so annoying, repeatedly asking u questions. idk why i would be like this. but actually i do know. i hv no trust in humanity. no faith in everyone. u do know how much i hate my parents. they are such a liar. as i told u before, i rly did bad things on my secondary school's gf. and, yeah, that was me. she lied that she wanna go home, but she was hanging out wif another boy, just after me bringing her to somewhere. and also, zelina, u know her. she was like, kept flirting other boys when we got tgt for like a month. for all that, i am rly, incapable of trusting anyone. that is my personality now. i cannot change that easily, bc ur also full of guy friends, for many years, keep in touch everyday.  i do trust u a lot in the morning, when i am with u. but at night, i dunno what are u doing. yea, i did see ur notifications, and i would think like, my cath, is texting others, frequently like every second. is she slping? maybe she is just hanging out wif others? maybe she is doing sth on me? nah. i know she wont. but i cant stop thinking. even tho how she assured me. im incapable of being ur bf.

pls, dun call me names. dun blame me through the blog. the new year wish was real. i wanna be wif u, happily and peacefully like everyday. i know i am never a perfect bf. i am sorry that i always hurt u so bad. i cant love anyone as u said. but u are always my priority i can say. i am sad that some parts in ur heart were dead. i can do nth to fix that. i cannot accept that and i just cried like shit for that. ur words hurt me a lot. those sarcastic words break my heart. and u cant fix that as well.

idk what can i do, for u or for our relationship. i cannot, do anything, just like my academic things. i want u to be mine but somehow i wanna break up sometimes. so pls dun let me go and let me go.