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fave lines game

rules: share your favourite lines or paragraph you've written from one of your fics, posted or wip.

pretty sure i wrote hope is a sword in a hazy lazy august dream. a fave bit:

Maddie proves her mettle three times over, by shoving him back with an equal amount of force to the pull she initially showed up with. Eddie stumbles back easily, eyes wide. His body is far too tired and yielding to do much more than sit his ass back down automatically in the chair he was just torn from. He looks up at her, more than a little stupefied and awed. He understands now, more than ever, who exactly raised Buck and created Jee with Chim. “Get up,” Maddie says in a soft voice, eyes shining. “Get up, and leave. Go home. Call your son and tell him you love him and to have a good night. Take a shower, and please, for the love of God, eat something. I don’t care if all you do is close your eyes and pretend to sleep when you lay down on your couch or your bed. I need you to be horizontal, with a promise of an attempt at closing your eyes for some rest,” she punctuates her point with her index finger digging into his left pec with each emphasis. And, well. She does make a good point. He’ll be no use here if he keels over before everyone can yell at him if Buck doesn’t wake up again.

tagged by: @neverevan, @honestlydarkprincess

no pressure tagging: @transboybuckley, @pirrusstuff, @kitkatpancakestack, @spagheddiediaz

@tommykinards, @exhuastedpigeon, @cal-daisies-and-briars, @pantsaretherealheroes, @shitouttabuck

@eddiebabygirldiaz, @devirnis, @rewritetheending, @butchdiaz, @canonbibuck

@homerforsure, @lemonzestywrites, @bibuddie, @gayhoediaz, @inell

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not quite tuesday tidbit teases

it's probably tuesday somewhere and this just popped in my head and I wanted to share. what do you think? do we want more?

tagging if any of you want to share something 😘 @hippolotamus @eddiebabygirldiaz @messyhairdiaz @rainbow-nerdss @tizniz @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @monsterrae1 @diazsdimples @watchyourbuck @wh0re-behavi0r @911onabc @chaosandwolves @bekkachaos @fiona-fififi @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @the-likesofus @hoodie-buck @lover-of-mine @jesuiscenseedormir @lemonzestywrites 💕

It’s just after midnight and Buck is going to bed. 

He’s been saying this for a couple hours but YouTube had too many AItA videos and Instagram had those gorgeously edited food recipe posts and he doesn’t even want to talk about the doomscrolling of TikTok. But he had a day off and it was supposed to be with Tommy so they could take the weekend and go somewhere fun and romantic, but then Tommy had to work. Buck could’ve gone in with the rest of A shift. But it was nice to have some alone time for himself so he took time for himself. 

His phone goes off with a call five seconds after he’s gotten into bed. It’s a number he doesn’t know. So he could ignore it. Or wait until they’ve left a message. But who would call at this hour for no reason? Or for scamming, telemarketing reasons? 

So Buck answers. 

“Buckley?” The man on the other end says. He sounds vaguely familiar but not enough that Buck came put a name or face with a voice. 

“Uh, yeah? Who is this?” 

“Mehta. Captain Mehta. Of the 133.”

“Oh, hey,” Buck says, automatically friendly and smiling. That makes sense now. “What’s up? Why the— why are you calling?” Why would he call in the middle of the night?

Why does anyone call in the middle of the night.

“Buckley,” he says and it sounds… it sounds… it sounds like…

They have him now. They’ll take care of him. Why don’t we get you cleaned up. He’s in good hands. They’ll rush him to surgery. You don’t have to worry. Let’s get you cleaned up. 

Lets get you cleaned up.

Buck can’t breathe. His whole body is cold. Frozen. 

He tries to get out of bed. He tries, but just slides to the floor beside it. He doesn’t make it any further.

“Buckley, there was a helicopter crash. Your team, our team we went to rescue the pilot. Your, uh, sorry, I don’t know what you call him, but your boyfriend? Life partner? He—”

Oh god. No. No, that’s not. That’s not happening. That is not what is happening right now. This can’t be a, Tommy is dead and I’m letting you know. It can’t be that. It’s not. They were going to—

They were supposed to have a romantic trip together. Wine tasting and some kind of museum Tommy thought Buck would love and maybe a visit to a hot springs up north and they were going to watch the sunset and the sunrise and—

And he can’t be dead. He can’t be.

“He’s alive,” Mehta says. “We’re at Cedars-Sinai. He’s alive, but. It doesn’t look good. He’s in the ICU now. He’s critical.”

Buck pushes himself up. Has to. He has to be there. 

He barely remembers to thank Mehta or even end the call before he switches off his phone and runs out the door. 

~

The drive is a blur. The drive is probably very illegal and he doesn’t know how he doesn’t crash, but he doesn’t have time to wait for an Uber or for anyone else. He runs as fast as possible to the ER lobby, and almost runs directly into Chimney. 

Not almost. Buck crashes into him and almost knocks them both to the floor but that almost actually is an almost because Chim somehow steadies them both. 

He’s pale. Shaken up. His eyes are red. He’s been crying. 

“Chim,” Buck says as broken as he feels. “Chim, where— where is he? What happened? How did this happen? Please tell me he’s okay. He can’t be dying, right? That can’t be happening?”

Chim opens his mouth and grips Buck’s arms tighter, still trying to steady him. “Buck, we— we don’t know yet. It was bad, but he’s tough. You know that. He could be fine.”

Buck lets out a broken whimper and backs away from him. “No. He is fine. He’s fine and this isn’t happening. I just— Chim, I just found him. I can’t lose him already.” 

There’s a flash of something on Chimney’s face but there’s movement around Buck, too. Other people. Bobby, he’s pretty sure. And Hen. They would be here. They would try to comfort him. But they don’t need to because it’s fine. Everything is fine and this isn’t happening. 

It can’t be happening. 

He can’t be dying.

There’s more movement and it’s all blurry, probably filtered through tears, but then everything stops. The world stops. 

Tommy is right in front of him. Whole, alive, real, a little rumpled and there are bloody scratches and bandages on his face and around his arm. But he’s here. He’s fine.

Buck slams into him, throws his arms around him, and sobs as he clutches him. 

“Baby,” Tommy says softly as he hugs Buck tightly, cradling him, comforting him, and Buck can breathe. He’s not frozen. Everything is okay. They were all wrong. Buck knew they were wrong. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Tommy tells him and holds him tighter. 

Buck pulls back just to look at him. “No, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He takes a deep breath and smiles because Tommy is fine. He’s right here and everything is good. Buck touches Tommy’s battered face and caresses him gently. He’s bruised and also pale, and very soggy. It’s been stormy tonight. Another reason why Buck wasn’t all that eager to go out in it. “They told me—  fuck, they scared me. I thought— I thought I lost you. I was so scared. I don’t want to lose you. He told me—Mehta, Captain Mehta— he called and told me there was a helicopter crash and my boyfriend was in the ICU and he’s critical and it didn’t look good, and I can’t— god, I can’t. Tommy, I—”

Tommy’s face isn’t good. It’s pale. Bad. Not smiling. Not relieved. It falls and he can’t even hide the devastation on it. He looks like guilt and death, and his mouth moves but nothing comes out. “Evan,” he finally says, barely says. It’s too quiet, too broken. “Evan…”

No. No, Buck doesn’t like that. He doesn’t want to throw up right now. And he just might. His heart is rabbit speed lightning and his legs don’t exist anymore and there’s an awful blackhole of apocalyptic world-ending destruction swirling and growing in his stomach. 

Someone takes his arm. Someone needs his attention. He’s moved from Tommy’s arms because there is no safety or comfort anymore. There’s no relief. There’s no happily ever after, nothing will ever be okay. 

Buck knows why Mehta said what he said. He knows who isn’t here. He knows who would have come to him and immediately comforted him. 

He knows. 

He knows what this is now. It can’t be that. It can’t. 

Hen tells him. She holds his arm and says calmly even if it’s broken. Everything is broken. They’re all broken. “Buck. It’s Eddie.”

No. No, it isn’t. It isn’t that either. Buck really can’t take that. It was bad enough, unimaginable enough the other way. It can’t be this. 

He’s already done this. They did this before. More than once. Forty plus feet of cruel earth and a whirling burst of metal and blood all over him. 

All over him. 

“The helicopter went down and got stuck on the cliffs. He went in so he could pull Tommy out, and we got Tommy out,” Hen tells him, every word a knife stabbing through both of them. All of them. 

“He saved me,” Tommy says, quiet and full of regret. “He saved me and went down with it. They thought it was stable enough. It wasn’t. They got him out after. But…”

Buck collapses to his knees on the floor and holds his head in his own hands as if he can somehow hold himself together when there’s no holding himself together. 

It’s Eddie.

It’s Eddie it’s Eddie it’s Eddie. 

Buck shatters like flimsy glass and sobs in all the pieces that are being ripped out of him. What about Chris? What about Abuela? What about Eddie’s parents and sisters and friends and everyone else who loves him?

What about Buck? They can’t be BuckandEddie without Eddie. 

“I need to see him,” Buck suddenly says to the closest person who will listen. “I need to be with him. Please. Please.”

There’s arguing that happens. Bobby yells at someone. Hen, Chim, and Tommy stay around him like a protective guard. Until someone finally agrees. He’s not in surgery, they can’t take him to surgery yet. He’s not stable enough. But he’s on a ventilator, life support. They warn him and Buck doesn’t care. He knows how bad these things can be. He’s lived through several. 

They give him five minutes. 

They’ll have to drag him out with an armed guard if they think Buck will agree to only that. But at least it’s something. 

It’s something. 

Eddie is mostly covered. Blankets, wires, tubes, IV lines, bandages. He’s paler than all of them. Slightly blue-purple, cyanotic. They tell him a few things but Buck can’t hear them. He just wants to be with Eddie. 

Buck sits beside him and rests a shaking hand over Eddie’s hand, under the blankets where it’s trying to be warm. Buck would give anything to keep him warm, and alive. 

Eddie needs to stay alive. He needs to. 

Buck rests his forehead on the side of the bed near their joined hands. He would say something if he had the capacity to form words and sentences. They only thing in his head right now is, don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.

And that’s probably all he can say. All that really matters. 

Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, please, don’t ever leave me.

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no time to waste

Buck/Eddie, 1.6k, rated G // ao3 // part two of hockeyverse

hey did you guys know that it's @buffaluff's birthday today?? happy birthday buff, here are some words!! it's not much, but i hope you enjoy the hockey boys <3

Moving in together originally happens so slowly that Eddie barely notices it happening. At first, it’s just practical: Eddie has Christopher to think about, and Buck loves hanging out with Christopher as much as possible, so it makes sense for him to follow Eddie home from the rink more often than not. The loft is great for when they need a moment alone, but Eddie’s house feels so much more like a home, and it always has. 

It feels even more like a home these days, now that Buck is in their space, too, leaving his running shoes in the entryway and his 50 skin products scattered in the master bathroom and cooking breakfast before they bring Chris to school. And Eddie genuinely doesn’t think about it much, but eventually he realizes that Buck has stayed the night every night for weeks straight and it hasn’t felt strange at all. 

“Hey, can you host the team dinner next week?” Chimney corners him to ask one day after practice, snapping his gum cheerfully. “Our patio setup is still getting a refresh.” 

“I’ll check with Buck,” Eddie says absently, busy untying his skates. 

He looks up when Chim doesn’t immediately respond. “Sounding real domestic there, Diaz,” he grins. “When’s the loft going on the market?” 

That’s when it really smacks Eddie in the face: God, they’re living together. Right? They’re basically living together. But they’ve never talked about it. Should they have talked about it? Should Eddie have asked Buck if he wants to move in by now? 

“Um,” he says to Chim. “I don’t know?” 

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(everybody go say happy birthday to buff right now or else!!!!!!)

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as lucky as us

buck/eddie | 3k+ | ao3

One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier.

“I mean, I get it,” Buck’s saying, overhead, and Ravi’s knee-deep in literal human crap and even he can smell that shit from a mile away. “You and Tommy have a lot in common.”

“He’s a cool guy,” Eddie says evenly. “And it’s nice to finally have someone with some shared interests.”

“Right,” Buck says, and when Ravi looks up he catches the underside of his carefully blank face in the porthole of blue sky. He isn’t even looking at the harness Ravi’s attached to, either, and Ravi gets it’s difficult to watch an—ex, co-parent, current partner, the thirty-two-year-old equivalent of a situationship, whatever he said he wasn’t thinking hard about it—move on with someone else, but it’s also difficult to, you know, get out of this sewer hole alive if his teammate isn’t manning the rigging properly. Ravi gives it a little tug, just to send vibrations up to Buck’s hand.

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far from my care and keeping

buddie (side buck/tommy, mentioned eddie/marisol) | T | 3k | angst, pining, one-sided feelings realization Buck's in hospital, but that's nothing new. What is new is the extra person in the waiting room. That, and Eddie's understanding of his own heart.

Another day, another visit to the hospital.

They should be used to this by now: sitting in the sterile space off the main hallway, waiting, waiting, waiting. It should feel routine, ordinary, typical with how often they find themselves in the situation. But Eddie doesn’t think it’s ever going to feel that way when it’s one of them behind the doors fighting for their life, the rest sitting anxious on the other side. He wishes the universe would stop adding instances, would cease trying to make it, force it to be, normal.

It’s the usual crew; they’re practically all there: Eddie, Bobby, Hen, Ravi, Maddie, Athena. Chim had taken Jee-Yun from Maddie and left with her about an hour after Maddie arrived — it’s getting late, past Jee’s bedtime. And Karen is at home with the baby and Denny. Eddie is lucky Marisol was supposed to be coming over for dinner anyway, that she offered to get Chris and stay with him till Eddie could leave. Athena showed up at the end of her shift with coffee and donuts for everyone, caffeine and sugar to keep them going.

Eddie’s cup is sitting cold on the table, his donut already split between Chim and Ravi when he shook his head in a refusal of it. He’d struggle to eat or drink anything in his condition, plus the knot in his stomach is too large for anything else to fit. It’d come back up, and he’s afraid of what else might spill from him with it.

It’s the usual crew. Plus–

“Hey,” Tommy’s voice sounds. Eddie looks up to him crossing the floor towards them, not at a run, but not far off. “What happened? How’s he doing?” he asks, directed at Eddie, as his eyes sweep over him, take in the state of him.

“He’s– It was–” Eddie tries, but his mouth is dry and the lump in his stomach extends to his throat too, blocking it, making him choke on the words.

Hen, sitting in the chair next to him, takes over. “He’s in surgery.”

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some things fall when they're meant to fall

4k | rated T | read on ao3

Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “And he’s always gonna be my best friend. He’s always gonna be the person I turn to. The first person I look to when I’m happy, or hurting.” He laughs again. “Even when it’s kind of his fault.” Marisol goes a little still against his arm, and draws away. “The first person?” Eddie turns his face toward her. “Well, yeah. That’s just how it’s been since we met.”

or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order. written for @burnthatbridge

Eddie collapses down on the sofa, propping his ankle up on the coffee table. It’s pretty much completely healed by now, but it still twinges a bit when he’s been on his feet all day. Marisol drops onto the couch next to him and kicks off her heels.

“Man, that was such a funny coincidence, seeing Buck and Tommy at Pizzana,” he says.

She hums noncommittally. “It’s a pretty popular spot, isn’t it?”

Eddie wouldn’t really know—Buck’s the one who picks the restaurant when they go out, always excited to try whatever new place he saw on instagram or the Los Angeles food subreddit. Now that he thinks about, Buck is definitely the one who first mentioned Pizzana to Eddie, so maybe it wasn’t such a coincidence.

“Well, I’m glad he and Tommy are hanging out. I knew they’d hit it off if Buck just gave him a chance.” It had been a surprise to see them out together, but a good surprise. After the basketball incident, Tommy had told Eddie he wanted to clear the air with Buck, and it seems the air was successfully cleared.

They’d been done with their dinner, but Eddie had convinced the two of them to stay for another drink while he and Marisol waited for their own pizza. It had been fun—he likes Tommy a lot, and now that Buck’s let his guard down he can see he likes the guy, too.

It kinda reminded him of how Buck was when he first met Eddie—territorial, at first, but then once Eddie had proved he wouldn’t be so easily put-off by Buck’s barking he’d sort of…melted. That was the only word Eddie could think of to describe it, the way he’d smiled and just opened up, like a dog rolling over to show his soft belly, blushing pink as a flower unfurling into full bloom.

Anyway, it would’ve been a nice night, with the four of them—and on the surface, it had been. They’d laughed and joked and recounted the entire hurricane rescue for Marisol. But something had felt…off with Buck. It had been bothering Eddie all night. Not quite the same way things had felt off with him before the basketball incident. Something else. He’d been…nervous, almost? Eddie had been thrilled to run into them, but for a minute when his gaze landed on Buck, Buck had looked…guilty, almost.

He had no reason to be. He’d already apologized to Eddie for the whole thing, and Eddie had reassured him and gently chided him for not just telling him he was feeling left out, and they’d been fine since then. More than fine. They had plans to take Chris to his surf lesson tomorrow, for god’s sake.

“Eddie,” Marisol prods gently. “What are you thinking about?”

Eddie turns to her, his easy-going smile already in place. Her own smile flickers and he knows he’s made a mistake.

They’ve been talking about this, is the thing. A few days ago, she sat him down and told her how it bothers her that Eddie doesn’t—hasn’t—opened up to her. He can’t really deny it. He hadn’t told her much at all about the hurricane rescue until it had come up tonight. He hadn’t told her much about Shannon, or about what Chris had been going through a few weeks ago. He doesn’t know why—he’s not that guy that just bottles up his feelings anymore. He’s not.

So he takes a breath, and he says, “I guess I’m just thinking about Buck.”

“Buck?” she echoes, but she doesn’t sound surprised, exactly.

“Yeah,” Eddie continues. “He seemed off tonight, and I guess maybe he’s still feeling guilty about what happened at the pick-up game, but—I forgave him for that.”

Tommy had been the one to explain the basketball incident to Marisol, when she’d showed up that night for their date and Eddie had been crashed out on the couch, loopy with pain meds. Eddie’s actually not sure what Tommy had told Marisol, but she seemed to at least have gleaned that Buck was more or less responsible for Eddie’s condition.

Eddie shakes his head and blows out a breath of frustration. “I just—I wish there was some way to get him to really understand, you know? That we’re partners and that nothing and no one is ever going to change that.”

Marisol shifts beside him, her dark curls brushing against his arm where it lies along the back of the couch. “Well, I mean. What if one of you gets reassigned?”

Eddie stares at her for a minute, puzzled. Then he laughs. “No, I don’t mean partners at work. I mean, you know. We’re partners.”

(keep reading on ao3)

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somethin' tells me you know why i lie

buck takes tommy to the madney wedding. eddie is absolutely, definitively not jealous. | 3k, T | ao3

At the end of Eddie’s row of seats, they stop. Buck waves at him, grinning, and Eddie smiles back, but Buck’s already turned his attention back to Tommy. He leans in, presses his lips to Tommy’s cheek, and slips into a smile Eddie feels like he shouldn’t be witnessing.

“I gotta go do man of honour things,” Buck says, just loud enough that Eddie hears it too. “I’ll see you after?” 

“Pretty sure I’ll be able to see you from here,” Tommy says, and Buck rolls his eyes.

“You know what I mean,” he says.

Tommy has his back to him, but Eddie’s pretty sure he must be grinning when he says, “I know. I’ll be here.” He’d be a fool not to.

Buck heads to the back of the hall, ready for the procession, and Tommy makes his way to the seat next to Eddie.

“He just handed me off to you, didn’t he?” Tommy asks, and Eddie snorts.

“Did kind of look that way.” 

“It’s not like I don’t know anyone else here,” Tommy says, but he doesn’t sound annoyed about it. Just—amused, and sort of fond. “I did used to work with Howie and Hen.”

“Who are both going to be at the front the whole time,” Eddie points out. Not in Buck’s defence. Just as an observation. “Seeing as Chimney is getting married and Hen is his best woman.” 

Tommy hums. “I guess you’re not wrong,” he says, then, “It’s sweet of him.” He laughs, still with that fond amusement, and all the blood in Eddie’s veins goes hot and ice cold all at once.

He’s laughed about Buck like that, more times than he can count. In the firehouse kitchen in eyes in the storms of busy shifts, in the Jeep as Buck drives and in the dim silence of his living room after Christopher is asleep, the television on more as background noise than anything else. He laughs about Buck like that, but now—

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stop the world just to stop the feeling

The night before Maddie and Chimney's wedding, Buck and Eddie talk on a balcony. | 1.5k | buddie | ao3

Eddie’s just uncapped his second beer when he hears footsteps behind him, so familiar he recognizes who it is by sound alone.

“Hey,” he says, as Buck sidles into view, arms coming to rest on the balcony railing beside him. He’s got a drink in his hand, too - one of those fruity vodka seltzers that Eddie’s reluctantly started stocking in the bottom drawer of his fridge. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Buck fiddles with the tab on his can, the silver of it reflecting in the moonlight. “Something like that.”

His shirt is slightly too big, slipping down just enough to expose the sharp jut of his collarbone, the dark bruise forming on the edge of it. Eddie’s eyes fly to it without permission, and Buck flushes red. 

“It’ll be covered by the suit tomorrow, promise.”

“Mm.” Eddie takes another sip of his beer, ignoring the sour way it curdles in his stomach. “Good. Think Chim’s one incident away from going full groomzilla.”

“Can you blame him?”

“Not at all,” Eddie admits, and Buck huffs a laugh. “You should have been me the night before Shannon and I got married. I was a wreck.”

He’d been alone, in the shitty little apartment they’d rented once they learned about Christopher, Shannon spending the night at her mom’s across town to help them cling to some ragged sense of propriety that neither of them truly believed in. It had been one of the most awful, stomachache-inducing nights he’d ever had up to that point in his life, and it wasn’t until he saw Shannon in the church the next day, glowing in a way that had nothing to do with the bump hidden under the folds of her white dress, that everything had finally clicked into place.

“Hi,” she had said, reaching out to squeeze his hand, and Eddie had let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

Buck’s staring at him now, as if he can sense the myriad emotions playing out in Eddie’s head. “It’s so weird,” he says. “Maddie and Chimney have basically been married for a while now. But all of this just makes it feel so real.” He gestures a hand at the expansive hotel grounds, the ocean beyond. “I mean, my parents are here.”

Eddie knows. Eddie had done an exceptional job at ignoring them at the rehearsal dinner that night, tucked in the corner by himself, Marisol having gone to their room earlier with a headache.

He feels a brief, guilty flash about leaving her alone now, although she’d been snoring when he’d crept past Chris on the sofa bed and out into the light of the hallway. He wonders, idly, if he should have left a note.

“They seem to be behaving,” he offers, which is about all of the goodwill he’s able to give the Buckley parents at any given time. Buck makes a face at him, and he adds, half-teasing, “for now.”

As far as he knows, they haven’t said a word so far to Buck about Tommy. He should probably ask, but somehow he can’t make his mouth form the words.

Buck drums his fingers against the balcony, quiet. “Do you ever think about it?”

What, fighting your parents? Eddie almost jokes, but he knows that’s not what Buck’s asking. “About getting married again?”

“Or getting married at all,” Buck says, and there’s something in his face, something suspiciously like longing, that has Eddie taking another gulp of his beer. “Like, big reception, flowers. The whole nine yards.”

“I wouldn’t do a big reception,” Eddie says, shuddering. “Just in the backyard, or something.”

Buck cracks a smile. “You do have a nice backyard.”

“You’re just saying that because you did all the landscaping,” Eddie says, bumping their shoulders together. “I had to weed it the other day though, so I should at least get partial credit.”

Buck looks sheepish at that, which wasn’t what Eddie was going for, but also wasn’t not what he wanted to happen. “I meant to come do it this week, I’ve just been -”

“Busy,” Eddie finishes for him, which isn’t fair, not really. Not when Buck is still over at his house most days, not when he hasn’t missed a single one of his afternoons out with Christopher. It’s just that there’s now a new purple marker in his kitchen, carefully outlining Buck’s availability on the calendar.

Eddie’s never had to schedule Buck in before. Not with Taylor, or Natalia, or even Ali, way back when. 

Combine that with the fact that Buck’s now asking about marriage…

Eddie drains the last of his beer. “You should get some sleep. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Buck agrees, but stays where he is, shoulder still pressed against Eddie’s. “Hey - uh. We’re good, right?”

“Buck, you’ve already apologized.” And grovelled, and apologized again, until Eddie was back from medical leave and working with the 118 again.

“Not about that.” Buck shakes his head, the movement bringing him closer to Eddie still, their forearms nearly overlapping on the railing. “I mean - about me. And Tommy, I guess.”

And Eddie - Eddie will be the first to admit it took him a second to come to terms with it, to fully wrap his head around the idea of Buck with a man and, more specifically, Buck with Tommy. But he’d hugged Buck, and stumbled his way through some approximation of support, and then gone home and researched until his eyes were burning and he’d bookmarked every tab he could find about bisexuality and being a good ally - so. He thinks he’s been doing okay, overall. Certainly not poorly enough to make Buck question if he’s been harbouring secret homophobic tendencies all this time.

“You know I’m good with that,” he says, and means it. “And you and Tommy seem - really good. So if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Buck’s eyebrows crinkle together, and Eddie has to resist the fanatical urge to reach over and smooth them out. “I know. I know you are. But something else just seems - wrong.”

“With me?”

“With us,” Buck says, voice veering toward frustration. “Come on, Eddie. You know you feel it too.”

Something thumps in Eddie’s chest, like his heart is suddenly trying to beat out of his chest. “Buck, I promise nothing’s changed-”

“But something has,” Buck says. “And I don’t know what, and it’s driving me insane, and every time I’m at work or at the gym or even with Tommy-” Wait, what? Eddie thinks, panicked -  “I’m lost in my own head, wondering how the fuck I managed to mess up the most important relationship in my life.”

“You didn’t fuck anything up,” Eddie says, honest. “No one did. It’s just - growing pains. You’re in a relationship, I’m in a relationship - it’s natural that we maybe don’t come first for each other anymore.”

Buck stares at him, the corner of his eyes suspiciously red. “We both know you don’t actually believe that.”

He doesn’t, but they’re veering into dangerous territory now. “Buck-”

“Why is it different now?” Buck says. “We’ve both dated people at the same time before. Taylor and Ana, Marisol and Natalia. Why is this different?”

Eddie doesn’t feel like he’s capable of breathing. “Buck-”

“It’s not because I’m with Tommy,” Buck says, raking a hand through his hair. “Or that I’m bi. It’s not actually any of it, is it, Eddie?”

He doesn’t sound angry, just - resigned. Tired. The beer bottle is clammy against Eddie’s palm. 

“You never answered my question earlier,” Buck says. “About if you would get married again.”

When Eddie speaks, his voice feels like sandpaper. “Maybe. If it was the right person.”

“Is Marisol the right person?”

“Is Tommy?”

Buck flinches, minuscule. “I asked first.”

“You know what my answer is, Buck,” Eddie says, and he’s tired, so tired. 

“You know mine too,” Buck says, soft.

He does know. Just like he knows Buck’s favourite song, favourite dinner, favourite feel-good rom-com. Just like he knows that Buck will spend all of tomorrow night dancing with Tommy, but he’ll save one dance for Christopher, spinning him around the middle of the room while Eddie watches. Just like how he knows -

“Eddie,” Buck says, and Eddie realizes how close they are now, facing each other with the moon still high overhead, lips a hairsbreadth apart. “We can’t.”

Eddie can feel Buck’s exhale against his lips. “I know,” he says. Taking a step back feels like swimming against a riptide, but he manages to get his limbs to cooperate eventually. “We should head back in.”

Buck swallows, chin bobbing as he nods. “Yeah. I’ll - uh. See you tomorrow?”

There’s something here, slipping out of Eddie’s grasp. He doesn’t think either of them knows quite how to cling on to it. 

“See you tomorrow,” he echoes, and then Buck’s turning toward the door, back to the hallway that’ll lead him to his room, to Tommy in his bed.

Eddie waits until he’s fully out of sight before he follows.

---

tags: @leothil @sibylsleaves @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @deformed-globule @cantyouseethatyouresmotheringme @silassstingy

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan “Buck” Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Tommy Kinard, Marisol (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley, Howie “Chimney” Han, Bobby Nash, Ravi Panikkar, Frank (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta “Hen” Wilson Additional Tags: Minor Evan “Buck” Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Minor Eddie Diaz/Marisol (9-1-1 TV), POV Alternating, POV Outsider, Falling In Love, Speculation for 9-1-1 (TV) Season 7, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Sexual Confusion, Bisexual Evan “Buck” Buckley, Double Dating, POV Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), POV Evan “Buck” Buckley, POV Tommy Kinard, POV Marisol, Confused Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Feelings Realization, Coming Out, Evan “Buck” Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Love Confessions, First Time Summary:

Season 7 spec (kind of?), in which Marisol and Tommy have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves mixed up in.

To be fair, neither do Buck and Eddie.

#to read

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paws. touching paws. reaching out. booping me. booping you

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All the possibilities, well, I was wrong

Buddie // T // 12.1k

Read on AO3

“You can’t.”

“What?” Buck must have misheard Chris. Had to have. There’s no way that Christopher just told him not to be in love with Eddie. That he’s not allowed to be in love with him. “Chris, buddy, what do you mean?”

“I mean, you can’t love my dad. You can’t be in love with him. And you definitely can’t tell him you love him.”

Or: Chris tells Buck he doesn’t want him and Eddie to date each other. Feelings are hurt, miscommunications happen, and there’s lots of sad Buck.

#to be read

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thank you for keeping us well fed <3

one bed prompt

“ it’s only weird if you make it weird. “

skin/heat/hair in your mouth

buck/eddie | 8.8k | rated e

And sometimes Buck hates having the knowledge of a first responder, but more often than that, he hates being in love with his best friend. Because when he gears up to say what he says next, he doesn’t know how much of it comes from a place of concern and how much, even if it’s just a fraction, comes from wanting Eddie more than anything. “Okay,” he says. “Take off your clothes.” Eddie’s shivering actually does cease for a moment, body going rigid with shock. He leans away from Buck’s embrace, as far as the sleeping bag will allow, so he can look him in the eye. “What?” Buck holds his ground. “Take off your clothes.” Eddie fishmouths at him in surprise, effect ruined a little by the shivering starting up again. “C’mon, you and I both know the best way to warm up is skin-to-skin contact,” Buck says, using the slight space between them to tug off his t-shirt. He reaches down into the sleeping bag, wriggling out of his sweats before wadding them up and tossing them to a corner of the tent.

or, eddie’s bad at camping, buck’s trying to make sure he doesn’t get hypothermia, and naked huddling for warmth is only like the third gayest thing happening in the great outdoors

read on ao3

#to read

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#do it

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eddie being gay and repressed for 50k words 'straight'

chapters: 7/7 fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) rating: explicit warnings: no archive warnings apply relationship: evan "buck" buckley/eddie diaz (9-1-1 TV) main tags: feelings realization, denial of feelings, repressed eddie diaz, confused eddie diaz, drunken flirting, drunken kissing, getting together, secret relationship, domestic bliss, p0rn with feelings, so many Feelings

⚡︎

eddie used to think he’d have himself figured out by now.

but then in comes buck, with his flirty personality and magnetic pull, and eddie finds himself almost risking it all in a moment of weakness.

he doesn't know how to deal with that reality, so eddie does what he does best: represses the shit out of it.

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I was born to take care of you

by Beulaugh

Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz | M | Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization | oneshot, 3.8k

Summary: Buck has a revelation at work and then promptly falls on his face. Eddie Diaz's ass: 1 Evan Buckley: 0

-----

Eddie threw his head back, laughing heartily at something Bobby had said, and Buck’s eyes were immediately drawn to the exaggerated curve of his back, from his broad shoulders into the tight cinch at his waist, before sloping down over the perfect swell of his ass and getting stuck there.

Several things happened at once.

Buck thought, holy shit, what an incredible ass!

Then he thought, wait, fuck, since when do I notice other men’s asses?

Then, shit, that’s Eddie’s ass, and oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I can’t look away.

Then, I wonder what it would feel like in my hands...

Then, oh my fucking God I want to touch my best friend’s ass.

Then finally, oh…I want to do a lot more than touch it. 

He promptly tripped over the last stair and fell on his face in a heap.

Keep Reading

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Tomorrow we can drive around this town

911  |    Buck/Eddie   |    Rated  M   |    c. 4700 words

 

When it was all said and done, when Bobby and Athena were finally home safe and one of the longest days of their lives was over, Eddie expected a visit with Hen, Buck and Chim to their favorite hook and ladder bar would be a good way to celebrate and to release some of the tension.

Instead, he found a whole new reason to be tense.

“Why are you over here sulking?”

“M'not sulking,” Eddie muttered at Chim, turning his attention away from the table where Buck and Tommy were sitting side by side like they'd been Krazy glued together, “I'm buying the next round.”

“Yeah, and this is the third round you've bought tonight.”

“So?” Eddie said, shrugging in a way even he knew looked fake.

Chim's face twisted. “Well, I don't want to say you're tight with your money,” he began, “but this is such unprecedented behavior that I'm starting to suspect you either won the Powerball lottery or have a brain tumor.”

“Ha ha,” Eddie said, his eyes back on Tommy and Buck again. Tommy leaned close and said something in Buck's ear, and Buck laughed and ducked his head.

The fuck, Eddie thought.

“Earth to Eddie Diaz.”

Eddie pursed his lips. “So what's Tommy's deal?”

Chim's eyebrows shot up. “He's a decent guy, a good firefighter. I'd go so far as to call him a friend, though since he left the 118 we haven't been in touch as often as we could have.”

Eddie made a frustrated noise. “Okay. But that's not what I mean.”

“You mean –” Chim nodded at the table. “Is he macking on Buckaroo? It sure looks that way. He came out a couple of years ago, when I worked with him he was definitely in the closet.”

“So he's just looking for a quick fuck,” Eddie snapped, then blinked. Where had that come from?

“Uh,” Chim said. “I honestly have no idea. I do know that what two consenting grown adults want to do together is none of my business.”

Eddie shook his head to clear it. “Sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize. But you might want to ask yourself why you're so concerned about Buck's virtue.”

Eddie gritted his teeth. “You're right. It's none of my business either,” he said, handing two beers to Chim and grabbing the remaining drinks. As he walked back to the table, he tried to ignore the sensation of Chim's gaze boring twin holes in the back of his head.

read the rest at the AO3

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🌡️ but i could lay on top of you and soak in all your heat

word count: 2k

rating: T

Buck gets sick after babysitting Jee-Yun, so Eddie takes care of him.

Really, Buck should know by now that this always happens.

Kids are germy. They get sick, and they spread it to the rest of their classes or parents like a wildfire out of control. Christopher once got a case of the flu that swept through nearly half of his class. Jee-Yun is a toddler, so she’s always a little clammy in the hands from whatever she got into. It’s just something a part of nature.

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tags: @cal-daisies-and-briars @thosetwofirefighters @elvensorceress @theotherbuckley @tizniz @watchyourbuck @thewolvesof1998 @diazsdimples @nmcggg @loserdiaz @queerdiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @knightlywonders @steadfastsaturnsrings @pirrusstuff @wildlife4life @gibuckaroo

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