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Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?
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They should invent a job that i actually want to do
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“slut era” i whisper to myself as i rot in my bed, sick like a frail victorian child
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that thing about how removing the middle 2 panels of a cad comic makes it funnier is true
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damn is your dick an oath because i’m about to break it
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Hotel Fired or Pirate Fired?
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dislike it when people say 'bless you' when I sneeze. stop acknowledging my bodily functions
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The perfect Martini by Guy Buffet, 2000
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I love that Tumblr is like “We got Neil Gaiman to do a question and answer session so send in your questions and maybe he’ll answer them!” as though the man hasn’t spent the last few years hanging out here answering random questions and cementing himself as a widely beloved fixture of this site
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honestly out of all of the methods of computer virus delivery out there the 'random mysterious USB stick left on the ground' is the most likely to fool me. no thoughts, head empty, plug that fucker in and unleash a modern day pandora's box on my hard drives
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