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THE WORD FOR 29/9

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”  (Matthew 6:34)

Jesus does not want you to worry about tomorrow. He will give you all the help you need for today, and when tomorrow comes, fresh help will come from Him. 

Even in the Old Testament, you read, "When the children of Israel were in the desert, God gave them fresh manna from heaven every morning. (Exodus 16) They did not have to worry about tomorrow because when tomorrow came, there was fresh manna again. 

Today, God’s grace is sufficient for you to handle the challenges you might have to face. God wants you to simply rest in His ability to heal, deliver, protect and provide for you every day.

The Lord encourages us saying, “Do not be afraid nor dismayed… for the battle is not yours, but God’s… You will not need to fight in this battle… stand still and see the salvation of the Lord…” (2 Chronicles 20:15–17)

My friend, when you are knee-deep in trouble , don’t be dismayed, look to the Lord, He will never fail you. You don't have to be stressed and worried. All things will work together for your good, because you love Jesus. He will do for you what you are unable to do for yourself!

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You have not left, it's me who left.

Not for a minute was I forsaken. The Lord is in this place.

Come Holy Spirit, dry bones awaken. The Lord is in this place.

Jesus hello it's been awhile. You have not left, it's me who left. Thanks for drawing me back again in ways only you know how. It's sadly again only in trials & suffering do I run back to you in tears. How unaware am I that through the years I claimed back control of my life bit by bit & left you nothing to steer in my life. The very control panel that I willingly gave it to you with great trust 8 years ago is once again fully in my hands.

How related Saint Augustine's words resound in my life.

"You were with me, but I was not with You.

Things (People) kept me far from You, which would not have been, if they had not been in You.

You called, and cried aloud, and broke open my deafness. You gleamed and shined, and chased away my blindness. You breathed out odours, and I drew in my breath, and now I breathe heavily for You. I tasted, and now I hunger and thirst. You touched me, and I burned for Your peace." - Saint Augustine

Please take my hand and lead me in my life once again, bringing me to higher ground with you to have eyes beyond the pain and sorrows in this life. Help me to remember your triumph beyond the cross and hope in the assurance that we who follow you will also triumph with you beyond our crosses.

I entrust myself and my love ones into your tender care and mercy.

Once again, I surrender control that is certainly not best in my own hands. O Lord, please take over and save me from myself. My life is better in your hands.

With yet only Philia for you (may it one day be agape by your grace),

Yours little jc

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Hope in God's promises

“This is what the Lord says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

— Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

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Save me from myself.

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A post to remember the laughter we had yesterday.

I was praying with the story of the last supper where Jesus washed the apostles feet. I saw myself in the scene when Jesus was sharing his coming mission to the cross and I saw his heavy heart through his expressions. Afterwhich, Jesus got up to want to wash Peter's feet buf Peter didn't want to be washed and I heard Jesus told Peter "if I do not wash you, you will have no part with me".

Together with the rest, I saw myself queuing up to want to be washed too but was also afraid for I feel unworthy and thus I kept letting people go ahead and soon I was last in Queue and no where to run. I felt torn because I want to be apart of Jesus but yet I'm scared.

Suddenly, Jesus came through the queue towards me & wanted to wash my feet and I was shocked. Jesus bend down and looked intently into my eyes, the window of my souls, I cried out "I'm unworthy, I'm dirty, I'm not good enough." I tried explaining that I was bullied in school, my parents relationship not good, my past relationships broken, it must be because I am not good enough thus all that happened. Jesus replied, "Who say you are dirty? I say you are clean and you are clean indeed. You are not what happened to you, you are God's daughter, my sister. I didn't died for you to think unworthy of yourself. You are worthy every bit, you are good enough, you are lovable. I hugged Jesus and cried and felt very very loved and acceptable. As Jesus was washing my feet, I asked Jesus if I have a lot of hair means God will spend more time and thoughts on me counting them? Jesus laugh out loud & so did I. It's been a while since I last laughed like that. Thanks to Jesus.

And my little clean feet stood on Jesus's feet and we danced like old times.

This is Jesus Christ my big brother & me..

Yesterday, we reconciled a little more after grandma's death 4 years ago.

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1 year many things happened. First photo was last year when we were friends.. today we went back to night festival as a couple. After 5 years single, by God's grace finally got courage to open my heart to someone and he is the man beside me throughout the past year. A journey not easy with many quarrels with us just screaming at each other last night but felt encouraged to remember what a priest shared that couple who dares to quarrel is not superficial couple but couple who dares to speak truth to help the other to be a better person. Over the past months, we are very blessed to have a priest to be our spiritual director for our relationship, who always makes time for us when we run to him out of the blue when we need confession and advice. We also started going for counselling to talk things out in the open making sure nothing stay under the carpet but all be out into the light. By God's grace, we are still learning alot about ourselves, sometimes more than we like to know about ourselves (our ugly self) & also know more about the other daily. The vocation leading to marriage I must say is not an easy one, and certainly not for the faint heart but it involves ALOT of dying to self.. To love is to be vulnerable. "If we want to avoid the suffering.. we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking." -Henri Nouwen "There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4: 18-19 Do we take risk to love?

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A priest shared.. sometimes we may hit the wall & not knowing how and what to do but when you hit the wall & break through, you know it can only be God and not your own effort. Take risk for God.

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Thanks for all the prayers. Aunty Christina has passed on peacefully to be received by the Lord day after Assumption of our Lady during prayer. Please kindly spare a moment to pray for her soul, for her family & myself at 330pm this day as her mortal body will be cremate.. Once again, we remember death is not the end but new birth with God for eternity. "He will wipe away all tears from their eyes. There will be no more death, no more grief or crying or pain. The old things have disappeared.” Revelation 21:4 Mass will be 145pm at Our Lady of perpetual succour.

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This morning, woke up from a dream that I managed to call grandma after her death & I told her how much I miss her. I woke up in ache & called her with the tiny bit of hope she will pick up. Then, the sounds of an unused number from the call hits me right back to reality. I broke down as the bit of hope is shattered. Why did I still try when I know no one will pick up? Love makes you grab on to the tiniest hope. Just 1.5 years ago, I was at grandma's wake. Now, for the past 3 days at aunty Christina's wake hasn't been easy for me as it forces me to face the ache within me of separation from her & reopen deeper ache within of separation from grandma. Grief on grief. In fact, past 3 weeks of visiting the hospital was nerve wrecking for me. I have phobia of visiting hospital for fear to recall those times I visited grandma in the hospital making me miss her more & heart to ache more. I was torn between my fear and my heart to want to go see aunty as I know she is always happy to see me & also of course to be there for John by his side. When all these happened, I know very well, God hope that I am able to face my grief & not tuck it aside and his grace is sufficient for me. But it's been too scary a zone for me to face. How many times I cried to God "No No No..😢 It's too scary. I cannot do it! I am not strong enough.. I want to run away..but i want to be there but im scared..arghh please help me 😭" It's purely by Grace of God that I made it to the hospital day after day & didn't break down in the hospital. By God's grace, was able to focus on aunty and John in the hospital and not my ache. However, over the past 3 weeks, I broke down many time the moment i stepped out of the hospital. Guess the ache has to come out of hiding, it has to be. This period as tough as it is for John and his family, I find myself in struggles to face the grief within me that I am not brave enough to face in normal days. Then John's dad asked me to do reading for aunty Christina funeral mass. I broke down rehearsing it. Death where is your victory? Death where is your sting? Dead will be raised. All that I hope for, all that I believe will come true. Victory in Jesus Christ!

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New life with Jesus for Aunty Christina. Her Final words simple & sum up our whole life: "Love one another forever and ever. Amen"

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Aunty Christina has gone to be with Jesus as she gave her last breath here on earth during prayers peacefully to be in her New life with Jesus for eternity. Thanks all for the heartfelt prayers and support during this time. Thank you Aunty for the past 9 months of knowing you. I'm glad to meet your wonderful son & to know you. Thanks for being very welcoming & give me your big smile each time you see me, been very nice to me & made tea for me to drink & make me feel like part of your family. Don't worry. I will watch out for John as you told me to :) Pray for us aunty that we may make it home to heaven & hope you will be best friend with my grandma in heaven. See you again aunty.

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Thank you all for your prayers! God has been very kind to aunty Christina :) sending brethens Catholic nurses and doctors around her & many friends to come over to pray for her. And exactly one week after her last rite, today on Mama Mary assumption day, she make it to God's house at Assisi hospice! Doctor said not advisable to send Aunty Christina to the hospice with concerns that she will not pull through during the journey but it's her last wish & we hope she can spend her last days in God's house. God assured our troubled hearts by sending an ambulace with car plate of Saint Francis of Assisi initial (SFA) as we are going to hospice of the congregation of Saint Francis of Assisi. We walk by faith! Praise God! Thanks Mama Mary & Saints for their prayers & Angels to clear the way :) Doctor said she may not last any longer but we are still praying for a miracle. Venerable Agnelo De Souza please pray for us.

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Urgent prayer: please pray for aunty Christina that she has a safe smooth journey to make it to Assisi hospice. Amen. #carplateSFA saint Francis of Assisi & Saint Clare of Assisi please pray for us.

#carplatesfa

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Joy on the other side

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Just as the birds return to their nest. We long for the day we return home to God. The body has many needs but the soul has one; to be with God. For this reason we never become discouraged. Even though our physical being is gradually decaying, yet our spiritual being is renewed day after day. And this small and temporary trouble we suffer will bring us a tremendous and eternal glory, much greater than the trouble. For we fix our attention, not on things that are seen, but on things that are unseen. What can be seen lasts only for a time, but what cannot be seen lasts for ever. 2 Corinthians 4:16‭-‬18 I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life; and your house will be my home as long as I live. Psalms 23:6 Pray for Aunty Christina to be with God in sickness and in health all her life now and in the next. May her inner spiritual being be renewed day by day & if God willing, be healed body & soul. Saint Agnelo De Souza please pray for us.

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May I beseech everyone to please raise our prayers to heaven for one moment together with our venerable Agnelo De Souza faithful servant of the Lord who we believe is with the Lord now in heaven to pray for Aunty Christina who according to the doctor is now at the last few days to weeks of her life on earth as all treatments have stopped for her cancer and failing kidney. A miracle we seek. All glory to God and his will be done. Venerable Agnelo De Souza. Please pray with us.