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I cant control what happens but I can control the way I deal with it.
1. WP
-Better sex, be more agressive, give him what hes been asking for, practice.
-Ask more questions to get to know him
-Be more relaxed when around him
-Initiate things
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CT
I did my worst thinking when I wasnt thinking at all, just staring blankly at objects in front of me and waiting for something to happen. I did my best thinking when I was high or meditating. I realized when I think without emotions and just look at the big picture and the facts, then I see things more clearly. Baiscally just recognizing the problems without feeling mad/sad/hopeless. I learned that I think with the right side of my brain and act on emtions and that hasn’t always helped. It would just make me depressed. Thinking without emotion and more ligically, recognizing the problem and knowing its there has helped me understand better.
Problem a day...
1. I have social anxiety and would like to improve my scial skills for professional and personal use (relationships, job interviews)
2. Understand my bf better, strengthen relationship
3. Get a job (related to #2)
4. Improve the way i carry myself (talking, acting) carry a more positive personaloity instead of coming off as shy,insecure, a worry wart, maybe whiny
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I guess i do care alot more than id like to admit. For some r eason i grew up feeling as if I did care, id be ridiculed or seen as a pussy. all it really led me to do is push people away
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Depression sucks. I feel so stuck, my mind is blank as ever and it takes a good amount of energy to get the hell up. It’s a dark and empty hole that leaves me dull and thoughtless. I think too much but not enough. I’m hurting and i’m tired, its always been a part of me and some days are just worse than others. I surround myself with people that i love but at the nend of the day i still feel empty. Id rather be angry than feeling empty. Empty is suchan awful feeling because I feel NOTHING and its killing me. I want to be alone but have company at the same time. I’m afraid to be alone with my own thoughts in silence but at the same time, I feel like i need to sort myself out. Im always sorting myself out....
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I regret paying so much attention to guys when i was younger. All i worried about was who liked me and why and what can i do to make them like me. It’s not like it would have gone far, i was young. I diteched my friends and family to get some dick. I was a terrible soul but i know better now.
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Disconnected. Out of body. Hopeless. Don't want to move, think, or talk to anyone. Isolated.
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but hes so nice...
my thought when mr. T keeps trying. This thought always stops me from slapping him in the face. GAH.
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No use crying about it anymore, im in this world its too late to turn back, i guess i shall conctinue to find my happiness. It starts with me and ivolves...YOU =)
I think i always feel dissatisfied, because i am not showing my full potential of what i can be. Im use to what i am and i setttle when i can be so much more. It leaves me stuck in my inhappy place, but staying in the same place gets old. Especially when you are unhappy. Time for change?
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Perhaps it's more of being confident and loving who you are first and embracing it and hoeing the world and not caring of the feedback. That's how people fall in love with u. It starts with loving you first
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I wish I treated you the way I treat my friends. Comfortable and not shy to make plans. I'm me.
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To be or not to be...
I wish to exude more confidence Be more decisive Stand my ground Make plans be spontaneous and interesting? I wish I found ways to be myself but I am afraid? Something always hold me back. Judgement? Care about how I look yet I look more dumb in the way I act when I care way too much I want people to say wow she's sexy, not just in appeaerance but personality. Be more demanding of my wants and needs instead of always saying oh up to u. I am a work in progress.
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