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jasenet · 3 years
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201021 | #resort-hotel-level-1
location: rotherich rise resort / event.
CH: he'd spent hours trying to work out the logistics and that was after hours begging the friend he'd made while dining in the hotel restaurant to introduce him to the chef, which in turn became him pleading his case to the chef to borrow their kitchen. of course, he didn't realize the request isn't too far-fetched for a hotel guest but he hadn't spent much time as an actual guest before. his experience with hotels and resorts was limited. even when he'd joined the pack, he could say he honestly never expected staying in a place like this, let alone for mating season. but when julian's birthday coincides with their time at the resort, he quickly adjusts his plans here and there. 
though it's more difficult to bring along hop tart now more than ever, he does have the needle felt bunny he's made to look just like him. her? he still thinks figuring out bunny gender is too difficult. there's slight calluses on his fingers from the effort but the final product and the smile it might bring to julian's face make it all worthwhile. now it's just the cake to finish. purposely homemade. it didn't seem right to do anything else, to buy or order one when it's more personal this way, including the teeniest swipe of freshly whipped cream he steals away before putting the cake away for safe transport. 
with the way he's practically bouncing with each step, fingers tapping against the box, a light melody hummed, head bobbing to said melody, it's a wonder he doesn't drop it despite the short trip when julian's on the first floor. knocking on the door, he balances slightly against the door frame, eyes widening as he slips just ever-so-slightly, the loops of the gift bag he brought along sliding down his forearm, a low whine emitted as he watches it unfold before his eyes. at least the cake is still secure. for now. 
JN: Clank, shaken, spills. The stainless steel tray falls unceremoniously onto the carpeted floor, dragging with it a glass of half-consumed chocolate milk and a plate of croissants. They move until the kinetic energy within them turns into potential, and he’s left in a daze. The lota closes his eyes and releases a breath. Here, any lota would know. The symptoms of mating season affect him differently to his given rank. As curious as he normally is, he chooses ignorant bliss over the discovery of his true rank. After all, he would never hunt. 
So he falls to his knees and sorts out what’s left of his breakfast. The world’s rather forgiving this morning, he supposes. Yet he takes his time up until the door opens and he rushes to his feet, tray in tow. Julian looks at the arriving wolf with wide eyes for a moment, still as a statue and likely as dumb as a tack for staring. “Oh, Chase!” He washes away the surprise while he sets the tray onto the makeshift vanity. Inspecting the box in Chase’s hands there, he stands very still. “You‘ve brought cake in a box, because—“ His brows knit in hopeless question. The very idea of dessert much closer to lunch now is admittedly not a point of commonality. 
It’s then that he pats his trousers for his phone. He hasn’t looked at it throughout the morning, ignorant to something as simple as the day they live in. “It’s my birthday.” Julian inspects the scene with new eyes, and he’s instantly joyed. “Did you bring me cake because it’s my birthday?” It’s hard to tell, but he almost croaks as he lurches forward to hug Chase in the style of a game of twister. “I could cry, you’re the best.”
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jasenet · 3 years
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200714 | #fruit-orchard
( image cover. ) — location: town of lunaris.
JN: The chirping birds from far and near seem to emphasize how much hotter it is now. They're in the peak of the Summer season, which is ample time for strawberry picking. However, that's not to say they won't be sweating buckets throughout the whole process. Even he'll admit that wearing a long-sleeved rainbow top adorned with equally as colorful patches is not the wisest of choices. But he'll survive with a basket of freshly picked strawberries. Or die of heatstroke. Whichever comes first. And with the land reserved primarily for the orchard itself, there aren't that many cell towers that he can see. Julian's not the type to rely so much on his phone regularly—minus having Cameron give him directions by texted photos—so the relative bout of nature doesn't stir him much. When looking into his basket now as well as Chase's to compare, he wonders if he's getting it wrong. "Are the reddest ones the best? Or the biggest ones?"
CH: even with the buttons undone on his short-sleeve shirt, pastel yellow fluttering open to reveal the sky blue tank he wears inside, the sunlight is harsher on a day like today, beads of sweat lining his brows underneath the wide brimmed hat atop his head. for the sake of one of his favorite fruits and for picking said fruits with one of his favorite pack members, the heat is nothing. if only his body would cooperate. swiping at his brow with the back of his hand, he leans his head from side to side, letting out a deep breath as he aims to distract his mind from the summer sun, gaze landing on the basket beside him instead. he'd been kneeling at first, falling back and leaning with his arms supporting him when julian asks him about how to pick. best is subjective but chase likes them sweet so the reddest ones had been his target so they could eat them sooner. "the more red they are, the more ripe they are! biggest doesn't mean anything for taste . . . right?" leaning over, he takes the hat from atop his head to plop it on top of julian's, grinning as he taps the brim, making it partially cover their face. "do you like sweet strawberries?" 
JN: With a basket filled with the brightest reds and some favoring the bigger sizes, there's more confusion towards Chase's preference. But once it's explained to him, how the redder ones are the sweetest, he can't not pick them now. Nodding promptly, he quickly heads back to picking the purely vibrant colors he previously ignored. "I'll get those ones, then." He can't say anything about Chase's verbal confusion now. Julian deals with medicinal plants for the most part. He never even goes into the fruits and vegetable garden for a quick peak. The kitchen would have the ripe ones stocked, and he trusts the judgement of their fellow pack members on that front. Scrunching his nose at the hat transference, a giggle escapes him. Chase is always so kind and considerate to him. "I do! If they aren't sweet enough, I'll melt some chocolate for dip. But I never really noticed that the brightest ones would be sweeter somehow." Glancing over at Chase, somewhat unable to look away from the grin that adorns his features, it's as if he forgets his own heat struggles for a moment. "I'd make strawberry cake, a tart, cookies, anything else, if I could use the oven. I'm afraid it would blow up in my face." 
CH: "wait, i'm not completely sure," he laughs, reaching out for julian's arm, fingers find the lota's forearm and he ends up sliding his hand down, patting theirs before he just lets his own hand rest there. chase has gone into their fruits and veggie garden often but he normally follows someone else's lead, takes the word of someone more experienced over his own. occasionally, he's even reminded that he knows this or should by now but he likes being certain when it comes to something this important, to the pack's food. it's the least he can do, isn't it? if he could cook more like near, he wouldn't feel so unaccomplished about helping but he swears his skills have been improving bit by bit. til now, he's managed not to nick himself with a knife while chopping. baby steps. that's what it boils down to. julian's giggle is so cute that chase tips the end of the hat again, grin so wide that he feels the tug at his cheeks. "chocolate covered strawberries sound good! but i want to make a smoothie later. we can make a lot of things if we pick enough." pausing to wipe at his brow with the back of his free hand again, he looks to julian with wide eyes. "let's try baking together. i bet we could do it if we try together." 
JN: As naive as it may be, most times he's trusting the word of others. There's an assumption he makes that they would know better than he does. A few things hold exceptions, however, like his medical expertise, but he'll argue that he'll never know enough. Life's all about learning, he's discovered. So, at the very least, anything told to him is a 'theory' before it gets confirmed by something else. In this case, they'll have to perform a few mini-experiments over which is sweeter since he never takes his previous picks out of his basket. He stops to look at Chase when uncertainty is expressed, knitting his brows in question. "We can give this much a try." He picks his basket up, three-forth of the way filled. 
"A smoothie would be really nice, yeah. We'll have a strawberry feast!" Sitting down cross-legged now, the heat is really starting to get to him as he uselessly fans himself with his shirt. "Does that mean you don't know how to bake either? Or that you'll teach me? But also, are we taking them all home or—" He abruptly stops speaking when he sees a beige-colored bunny hopping around behind Chase. "Or maybe a bunny." Absentmindedly pulling a strawberry out, he quietly makes his way towards the creature to try feeding them, while crawling on all fours. 
CH: the faith in his words, no matter if he’s not the only one that julian has such belief in, are as heart-warming as julian’s other traits and he questions if there’s anything about julian that doesn’t give him the warmth of gentle sunshine; if there’s any kind of darkness that julian can’t illuminate and render powerless against his smile, especially when it reaches his eyes or extends to the gentleness of his hands despite the callouses or scars. julian is so gentle and kind for what chase has seen. physical scars wear more on the soul in his opinion. chase doesn’t wear his own trauma in such a way. it makes it easier to avoid and ignore. julian carries himself with a bravery and tenderness that chase wouldn’t be able to so the only answer he can give is a “yes” paired with a smile that becomes infallible in the lota’s presence. “a strawberry feast it is!” he tries to think of all the things they could make off the top of his head and it’s difficult to narrow it down to what he wants to make most after a smoothie or the chocolate covered strawberries julian mentioned. “i can bake a little! i’m normally the sous chef to near but . . . i have some of my own tricks!” sort of anyway. “i think we coul— a bunny?” he repeats the sentiment, brows furrowing til he follows the path of julian’s gaze, eyes widening as he falls back, basket set aside so he can reach into his pocket to take out his phone, already taking a picture of how julian crawls towards the small creature. “where did it come from? uwaa, so cute!” 
JN: The bunny sniffs the strawberry before taking a bite out of it. Julian's elated in an instant, reaching out to gently pet it in his new-found trust. He lays on his front the more it nibbles. "I'm not sure. I didn't see any bunnies earlier." Then once it finishes near the peduncle, he moves to pick it up and flips himself onto his back to lay it on his chest. "A wild bunny?" Looking over at Chase now, he quickly puts two and two together—a phone pointed at him must mean he's being photographed. Even if the subject is the bunny, he'll still be somewhere in it. Rather than whine about it outright, he instead covers his face with the bunny all while he sits himself upright. "Come here and pet it then." He keeps his head low. "And I'm gonna name you... Hop Tart." A chuckle escapes him as he says it, quickly looking up at Chase. "We're making strawberry tarts, too, right?" And now that he's back on the topic of cooking, he processes what the omega told him just prior to this. "Also, what's a sous chef?" 
CH: how quickly the bunny trusts julian enough to eat from his hand doesn't come as a surprise. instead, he's delighted, no longer curious enough to wonder where it came from as much as he's grinning just watching everything happen. julian and his love of small animals isn't much of a secret in the pack, he doesn't think it is anyway, not with the occasional time he's seen cam dealing with one of them or held one of them himself when he catches julian coming home. it's just a lot cuter in person each time he sees it. in fact, he might have too many pictures of julian holding some animal but photos don't take up a lot of memory anyway, right? when julian tells him to come pet it, chase resists the urge to pet the lota instead, smiling at both the softness of the bunny's fur and the name given to it. "strawberry tarts? we can make those! we can make anything you want." whether it's edible in the end, he isn't completely sure but they'll have fun either way, right? maybe whatever they make can be salvaged by near if it needs to be. he's learned a lot though as a— "oh, it's like . . . an assistant! an assistant chef? oh like if the chef is the head of the kitchen, like an alpha, then a sous chef is second? like a beta?" 
JN: "Then, let's make a pie, too! It's one of those things I think I have to use an oven with." He's still unsure how to use the oven. In theory, he knows it's supposed to be simple enough. But in practice, heat is not that controllable. As he sits Hop Tart on his knee, Julian smooths their back as their nose wiggles about. "Still hungry?" He reaches out to grab another strawberry without really seeing it. It's bright red in most places, what does that mean? When Chase explains the sous chef position, he tilts his head in wonder. "So you're a beta?" Julian clasps his hands together as he falls onto his back, letting Hop Tart hop into Chase's care. "That's so awesome! No wonder the kitchen is so immaculate, and the food is so tasty." It still doesn't stop him from missing meals, but it is quite a feat regardless. He sits up while still leaning on his hands. "We're definitely keeping Hop Tart. He's so sweet, we have to! We have all the strawberries ever for him to eat, too. It's perfect." 
CH: "pie crusts are fun to play with. do you think we could make a pretty design? between the two of us, we could manage, right?" the better approach might be to play it safe but julian tends to make him feel brave anyway so why not? why not go for everything he could possibly do? his focus easily switches to watching hop tart and how julian interacts with the cute bunny. he ends up comparing the two and smiling to himself til julian asks if that means he's a beta and chase laughs so loud he might've scared the poor bunny. instead, the small animal hops towards him and arms open, eyes wide, he reaches out for it, cradling the bunny in his arms and gently petting its head. "i don't do too much! near knows a lot more... a lot, a lot but i try to learn from him." eyeing julian, he huffs, hop tart wiggling in his arms when he does and he murmurs a soft apology when he glances down, gaze returning to julian as he says, "then come eat with the rest of us more often. oh— could we really keep him? where would we put him..." because, unfortunately, he's seen bunnies come into the kitchen too for very different reasons.
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jasenet · 3 years
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200629 | #color-pool-museum
( image cover. ) — location: town of lunaris.
CH: it’s a phrase he heard often before coming to seraph, even now he hears it from time to time. from ‘oh it’s nice having someone like you around’ or ‘i wish i could do this more often with someone like you.’ slowly, he builds an aversion towards it. even now, he thinks he dislikes it but it’s part of his own syntax by now. chase finds himself utilizing it more than he’d prefer to. it just slips out and he notices it around julian more often as of late so he actively tries to drive his thoughts from conception into action. instead of, it’s fun looking up at the stars with someone like you, or going to see the ocean again with someone like you, he wills himself to think ‘i want to stargaze with you, view the cosmos in all its glory’ and ‘i want to go to the ocean with you, build sandcastles, sink our toes in the sand as the tide just barely reaches us,’ today, he does his best to bring at least one idea into fruition, wanting to keep it a surprise til the last moment but blindfolding someone that can get nervous is a bad idea and he doesn’t trust himself to guide julian without bumping into something himself. he’s glad the outside is somewhat nondescript and doesn’t hint of the colorful delights inside, waving his hand for julian to follow his lead, he hopes the photos he searched for online are still accurate for how to navigate inside. tugging on julian’s sleeve, he grins once they’re within sight of the entrance. “surprised?”
JN: It took two seconds to text Nam Hae that he wouldn't be coming to the study session and Cameron that he won't be at the house. There was no way he would pass up the opportunity to spend time with Chase today. Albeit, he didn't have a clue where they were going. The anticipation grew more and more, but not knowing where the location was made it feel like it was much longer. By the time they reached a tall building with glass all over, he was under the impression that they were going to a hotel. Was this how hotels even looked like? Though, he wasn't about to ask and find himself sorely mistaken. Now this was really new to him. "Yeah!" Following along with a bounce in his step, looking left, right, and center, there wouldn't be a place left unseen. Wide eyed and curious, he looked to Chase—staying relatively close to him. "What is this place, though?"
CH: fingers continue to curl in the soft fabric of what julian was wearing, he glances down at how the colorful shirt he wore matches the inner hallway he can just barely see from outside the entrance. bright flower patches scattered across the front and one on the right sleeve. it'd reached a point that he couldn't remember which shirt belonged to who or who chose what patches. all he knows is that wearing any one of the items they customized makes him think of julian. he'd pre-bought the tickets online, showing the code to the staff member at the door and looking up at the balloons arranged in rainbow color in one of the first hallways, bright decor spelling out COLOR POOL nearly everywhere. taking out his phone, he turns to julian earnestly. "i was thinking the other day... i want to take more pictures! of you and together and i wanted it to be somewhere fun first... each room is different and colorful and we get to wear jumpsuits because there's ballpits and— it's way better if you see it! just trust me! you do, right? enough to change into one of the jumpsuits right now and wait to see?" 
JN: Letting Chase take full reign over their activities today is a wonderful feeling. The wolf prepares so much for them, and he thinks all he has to do is keep their spirits up. Julian’s wandering eyes see what he doesn’t understand, but definitely wants to. He’s always thought that he could draw better when he knew what he was looking at. Right now, with the colors splashed on the walls and items, he really thinks it’d make for a great watercolor piece. He feeds in his curiosity while also holding onto the hand that holds him. There’s no way he can just get lost here, right? It’s a building. However, he doesn’t know how big this place is, or what they have in store, causing him to step that bit closer to Chase. “Take more pictures?” He wonders how they’d do that. They didn’t bring any cameras, to his knowledge. “What are— oh okay.” He nods enthusiastically, hoping that all his questions would have answers in due time. “Can I wear it over my clothes now?” 
CH: cell phone in his back pocket and a disposable camera in his pocket, charmed by the less modern notion of taking it in to be developed and picking up the photos once they're done, he nods enthusiastically when julian asks, squeezing the hand in his lightly. "ah, i didn't think of that... it'll get really warm if we wear jumpsuits too but it seemed fun too!" gaze falling to the floor in thought, he looks to julian. "what would you rather do? our clothes are colorful too! i think people wear the jumpsuits if they're worried or are wearing clothes they can't move around in." but julian wears long sleeves as it is and he's, again, happily wearing one of the shirts they sewed patches onto. "let's go see the first room and decide, that might be best." following the signs for one of the rooms he saw the most pictures of, he brings them to one that's shades of bright pink from head to toe, from the tiled walls and the slides to go into the ball pit along the sides, pink and white beach balls are being tossed around by other people there and chase watches excitedly, taking another moment to see if they're wearing jumpsuits too or not. 
JN: Julian would argue that his tolerance for heat is much higher due to always being covered. The most anyone sees of his skin are on his face, neck, and hands—though they're more callous. Sometimes he feels bad for holding Chase's hand, because he deserves soft, smooth touches. However, even in Summer he's used to the weather and he doesn't mind wearing a jumpsuit over his clothing. It's a sacrifice he'll probably have to live with for the rest of his life. Taking a quick glance of his and Chase's clothes, he might actually prefer jumpsuit anyway. The fabric of his shirt is far relatively thin this time around. "I'll wear it over mine," he says regardless of how they may look. Julian follows along without hesitation, though is again met with more mundane questions. "Is that— We can go in?" He asks first, grin plastered on his face. But within a second, he's tugging on Chase's hand and leading them into the ball pit. Colors aside, if this is the sort of childlike urges he gets at the sight of a ball pit, something he'd never experienced before, he'll definitely enjoy the rest of their time here. 
CH: there's moments he wonders if he holds onto julian too tightly, if he clings too much, if he should have a gentler touch. ever since he learned more of julian's past, of memories left on his body that his mind no longer grants him access to remember, he's decided that julian deserves everything soft and gentle. sweet and caring. tender and loving. but when it comes to himself, he knows he pretends to be as soft as sunshine despite burning inside. "we can! we don't have to wear the jumpsuit first or w—" light laughter spills from his lips when julian guides them towards the ball pit without another word. letting go for a moment, he steps down into it, opting for the small ladder down into the filled pool lest he ends up being overeager if he actually jumped. with a grin, he picks up a bubblegum pink ball and tosses it towards julian, snickering when it bounces off their shoulder. 
JN: So much for the jumpsuit, he thinks, as he rushes to get into the ball pit. Without considering how deep it might be, he jumps into it. A groan escapes him when his knees hit the limits of the pink-colored 'pool' and he takes a moment to rub them as he gets into a more comfortable position. "I thought it'd be deeper. My bad." Sitting up, as dry as ever, yet feeling a familiar pull as if he were in water, makes him like this more. Not to say he doesn't like swimming in water, he does, but this way his clothes won't stick to his skin uncomfortably. The slight disorientation is squashed when he feels something hit his back. Turning around, he quickly puts the pieces together. "So they're meant for throwing, too, then?" He says, just to acknowledge, before throwing one of his own at Chase. Then two, and three as he swims away and closer to the old telephones stuck on the wall. "These aren't real, right? What do you do with them then?" 
CH: the groan julian lets out because the pool is rather shallow makes chase both laugh but 'swim' over, wading through bright pink to reach down and pat julian's legs, trying to help him with the pain even if the attempt is superficial at best. "it's okay. we did go swimming and that was pretty deep." actually, it'd been deep enough that chase worried, wondered if he would be able to keep swimming without paddling towards the edge to hold onto. instinct couldn't help him enough there, it seems; it has its own limits. he'd managed to dodge the ball when he moved closer, but the rest get him and he scrunches up his face. "wanna try calling someone? maybe 119 since—" throwing a few more balls at julian's chest, he sulks when a few fall short. literally. he considers working out again, doing more than trying to go on a run in the morning, and he's about to ask but he ends up throwing another ball, grinning as he remembers he wanted to take pictures. "wait, truce. you should try the phone! it'll look cute." 
JN: He watches as Chase comes closer to him and pat him. It's such a sweet gesture. "Do you want to go swimming again?" While they're out here, he could look for clothes to swim in. Something that doesn't stick so uncomfortably to him, if that's even possible. At the question, and the failed attempt at a throw, he brightens up into a small chuckle. "These balls are really light. It's hard to throw without the weight on it." He picks one up to throw, but it doesn't travel that far either. Julian raises a brow in question. "I should try it?" Looking towards the phone again, already having pulled the receiver and input out already, he can't hear any of the usual sounds to indicate that it's working. He checks all around it for secret wires that don't exist, only to lean against the wall staring at the thing in his hand. "What is your purpose?" He asks the inanimate object.
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jasenet · 3 years
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200714 | #backyard
( image cover. ) — location: seraph house.
CH: he quickly lost track of how long he'd been working on setting the tent up, willing to settle for making it through the rest of the night. sunset had passed him by, wiping the sweat on his brow with a small wash towel, wrapping it around his neck as he let out a huff. it was standing. that's an impressive feat in and of itself considering he just figured out not too long ago how to get the stakes in the ground. hoping no one would be upset with him for leaving holes behind in the grass, he takes a glance around. scant outdoor lighting and the moonlight his only sources of light, he grins at how much easier it is to see the stars here than in town or the city. when he moved in, it was what made the nights easier. blankets inside the tent and one beside it, he lays down, holding his phone up and luckily not dropping it on his face within seconds, he looks to the snacks he'd brought outside with him, glad it was nothing that needed to be kept chilled and clicked on his messages. 
 (   ˟  𝙊𝙐𝙏𝙂𝙊𝙄𝙉𝙂 » julian *rainbow emoji* )  ☇  could you meet me in the backyard?
JN: With his infrequent use of the device, it only shocks him more when it goes off. He thinks setting it on silent would keep him from an emergency so he doesn't. The smile on his lips is automatic. Chase, with a yellow heart beside his name, already gets him up and out of his bedroom all on their own. It's only when he's on the first floor that he can properly decipher the text. 'Okay! I'm coming' is all he sends despite only being a room away from the backyard. Though he comes with no expectations, wishes or otherwise, the surprise in his eyes and genuine pause keep him from speaking right away. The words bubble in his throat. Is this a tent? Did Chase build this? All alone? He could've helped, too, insisted even. "Hi," is all he can muster now as he gets closer; curious with Chase's work. It's not exactly like the pictures, but neither are any of his own creations. Bending over and looking inwards, he's struck with the question of what this is all for. He looks back at Chase, trying not to touch the tent in case it somehow gets ruined. "Is it your birthday?"
CH: waiting makes him restless, always has, and so he's easily rolling around, arms extended when he's on his back once more. groaning as he stretches them higher, higher yet, until he can't without lifting his shoulders, and he laughs at the slight ache from earlier, thinking he really ought to work out more now. asking cam, even ilya or yeon would make sense right? sweet almond and cassis wraps around him like a gentle breeze, luring him upright with a smile on his lips. "julian!" bending one of his legs at the knee, pulling it closer to the other, he gestures for the lota to join him, patting the area next to him, his gesture coming to a slow stop at the question. "my birthday? that's not for a few months." at least, it's the birthday he thinks he has. "oh...  i don't think i know yours. when is it?" though he didn't have an occasion in mind, he wishes he had made a cake, the craving coming to him now that it's in mind. but that would've been more fun to make together too. another time. "you cloudgazed with me before, i thought we could stargaze together too. is that okay?" 
JN: julian falls to his knees when he gets called. it's better and more comfortable to be at a similar eye-level while talking. then, as if it's all the permission he needs, he crawls the rest of the way to where chase allows him. it's certainly a different perspective, particularly at night. but it's one he's grown to like with good, comfortable company. settling for having his legs crossed, sitting to chase's right, he remains seated with his back upright—pulling at the ends of his sleeves as he watches the other. "october twenty second. i made it up since i don't know my real birthday." though it comes out with eyes down-turned and his voice just as soft as ever, he offers a small, reassuring smile. "when is yours?" now, if all of this isn't for a birthday celebration, then what could it be for? julian looks up at the sky, littered with stars, but not as close as he'd likely see them in pictures. constellations are hard to find like this, even as he's on the search for the classic ursa major and minor, if possible. "i'm happy you invited me. the tent looks great." placing an open palm on his left knee, he offers chase the chance to take it—unsure of how in favor he would be to touch. "how'd you come up with the idea?" 
CH: now that he knows why julian wears long layers, even in the heat of summer, there's a certain warmth that comes to him to as well— one he realizes he can tie directly to julian the more he sees him. there's no denying it, that when he sees the lota these days, a smile is automatic and everything seems brighter. how can it not when julian's smiles seem more important now, more precious, considering what he's been through? "oh, me neither!" brows furrowing, he dials back the excitement, acknowledging it's not exactly a happy commonality to have. "i think it's in november . . . so i go with that. november 22nd. one one two two, isn't it nice?" when julian thanks him, he hums softly, not realizing it's one of the songs julian showed him that rainy night they were in his room, thinking he might not have asked anyone else. he only thought of asking julian. "you don't have to lie to me," he laughs, looking at the tent and tentatively reaching out. "i'm worried it'll fall down if i go inside so i waited out here." he's sorta joking. looking back to julian, gaze falling to catch the open hand, chase doesn't wait for confirmation that it's an invitation and takes it anyway, squeezing julian's palm like a heartbeat. ba dum. ba dum. "the sky looked so pretty earlier. there wasn't enough time to catch the sunset but . . . there was for the stars." 
JN: At the exclamation, he turns to look at the other with some sense of anticipation. But as his brows knit, he thinks they're having the same thought. It's bittersweet not to know the very day you're born on. The day one would otherwise be celebrated on, and he would absolutely love to celebrate Chase. Humming along to that exact information, there's a bit of comfort in how they're a month apart. "We picked the same number. Twenty-two. That's something to be happy about." Though he doesn't have the same bout of excitement as Chase had just previously, he holds onto the wolf's hand a bit tighter at it. He proceeds to soothe his thumb over fingers that have known so much more than he can remember, and he'll be more than honored to hold them for longer. "I think it's great, you even made it yourself." He pushes himself backwards to get into the vicinity of the tent for emphasis. Sure, he's scared it'll fall apart, but he'll be the first to help Chase put it back together and make it more structurally sound. Like the words of Athena, maybe its foundation is stronger in some places. "I don't lie. You can count on me not to lie." He says with a grin as he pulls Chase along with him. "We'll watch the stars. Then tomorrow, we can watch the sunrise together. In here." He delves further into the comforts of the tent, adorned with all the necessities already, it seems. "You're so prepared." 
CH: his expression dimming for only a few seconds, his smile regains strength and grows again, nurtured by julian's words, by his presence too. "it's because you and i, we match well, don't we? oh— there's a song like that too, right? with twenty-two?" brows furrowing slightly, he laughs when the lyrics come to mind, scratching the back of his head as he tilts his head, tongue poking the corner of his mouth. "ah, that's about feeling twenty-two. wait, right now, we both are!" another reason to be happy is easily found and he sings, squeezing julian's hand. 
i don't know about you but i'm feeling twenty-two  everything will be alright, if you keep me next to you 
 "if i played it right now, would you dance around with me?" chase chuckles, inhaling deeply at how gentle julian's touch is. on second thought— he'd much rather lay around and talk, revel in how holding julian's hand is an honor not many get. his brows shoot up when julian starts to move towards the tent and he's reaching out with his other hand, lips parted to tell him to wait but everything seems alright. the song's more relevant than he could expect. following julian's lead, he falls forward once in the tent, holding himself up with one hand above the lota and smiling, eyes searching julian's with a grin. "the sunrise? sounds beautiful. you have a lot of faith in my tent-building skills to stay in here, that makes me really happy." rolling onto his back, he reaches over for one of the snacks, glad it's a bag of gummy bears. not the healthiest but still a classic. "i was hoping you'd stay." 
JN: Following a conversation is one thing, but following a train of thought is quite another. He thinks he'd get a better grasp of it if he just stays quiet and listens, process it on his own time. Fortunately, Chase ends up singing what he's thinking about and like a puzzle, the thought pieces fall into place. An automatic smile, something that happens more often than not whenever he looks at Chase, plays on his lips. Then, before he can even make a comment on the song itself, completely unknown to him, amidst his giggling, asking for a dance is certainly a surprise. Though his brows raise, he happily nods in agreement. "Yeah. Do you really have the song on your phone?" 
Lying next to the omega is nothing short of a pleasure. He'll sleep alone every night without much of an issue, but it's rather warm and nice to have the company of another—particularly one he's grown so fond of. "Then we have all night together. Are we sharing a blanket?" He continues to hold Chase's hand while his other rests aimlessly on his stomach. His eyes light up at the sight of gummy bars, hurried to make grabby hands at it. Julian would argue that he would favor any sort of sweet, and maybe a few savory ones, but there's no denying that he loves this the most. "I'll stay wherever you are. I want to." 
CH: "we can if you don't mind but i brought a few blankets," he grins, turning on his side and looking to julian, wondering when even the smallest of things started to give rise to butterflies in his stomach, encouraging them to flutter around as he stares. fingers squeezing julian's, he laughs as he hands over the bag of gummies, leaning closer to rest his chin against julian's chest, his own leaning against the lota's arm as chase half-lays on them. "i'll stay wherever you are too," he grins, warmth spreading from his cheeks down the nape of his neck, taking hold in his chest. "especially if you feed me gummies." he lets go of julian's hand to settle more comfortably in place, scooting closer despite the summer heat still lingering from the day. "if we stay in here, i might fall asleep on you again," chase grins, thinking back to that night in his room. it'd be harder to see the stars like this too, from inside the tent, no matter how comfortable he is already. "but that's not bad either..." blinking languidly, his smile grows as a song comes to mind, an artist that julian said he likes and he shifts again, leaning up and in til his forehead rests against theirs, forgetting his request as he sings, "i wanna sleep next to you, but that's all i wanna do right now." 
JN: Popping the bag open, the gummies stay where they are. They're all stuck together inside anyway. If he presses them together, he knows it'll end up becoming a big ball of it that's sort of hard to bite on in his experience. Nevertheless, he's quick to pry a few off and feed himself. Then he goes in for another just to feed Chase. He's rarely this close with anybody, and likely never with someone resting on him, but he thinks Chase has earned that ability not too long ago. He'll never forget it either. An afternoon that started off sleepy and aimless progressed into something fun and colorful, and then something anxiety-inducing but comfortable the more he was assured. To have that sort of trust with someone if quite another feeling. So when he feeds Chase gummies, barely registering that he was told that, too, his cheeks flush and he has to stare at the roof of the tent as he checks himself, breathes himself back into sanity. "Then I'd like to stay in here with you." He's quick to reply, and even quicker to hold onto Chase with more fervor. It's emphasis, he thinks, that touch is okay and even encouraged. At least with Chase. Julian blinks back his surprise when he's abruptly met with pretty eyes and a pretty voice. The song is instantly recognized and, though he knows he doesn't sound nearly as good as Chase ever, the following lyrics come out of him. "So come over now and talk me down." As soon as it does, he beats the embarrassment that Chase would have sung it with him down, that their close proximity to one another was on purpose. And that purpose lies in the kiss he manages, without thought and without filter, as his lips press against Chase's with more eagerness than he himself knew to have. 
CH: there's a lingering temptation to do more. always to do more. when julian is this close, when his hand is practically in front of chase's mouth, when they're not even a foot apart, mere inches of distance that don't have to exist when it comes down to it. barriers tested and crossed, he leans more into julian, almost light-headed when julian says he wants to stay. it's his secret mantra when he wants to hold onto someone. he wants to stay, wants to find someone who will stay with him. a home. one with real love, not a fetish or some experimentation because of the supposed thrill gossiped about within social circles. it's how they find him. well, how they used to find him but he doesn't want that anymore. he doesn't want to be found by anyone else in this moment. no, that's it it either. he's already been found. 
is he wrong to think that? to believe that? but julian sings before he can, words mouthed along to and he would continue the song, knows julian compliments his singing, loves the praise when it comes and the way he's looked at, but warmth finds his lips first, filling him with more than he can handle. surprise, hope, a greed to hold on and one that he swears is matched in the way julian kisses him. why didn't he do this sooner? but it's so rewarding to have it done first, to find consent in that way. a gasp is forgotten as he gives into a small moan, the hand above julian's shoulder holding him up losing strength the more he deepens the kiss. 
JN: Though his eyes remain closed, and he thinks it makes sense to do that, he still wants to see this for himself. He wants to somehow capture however they look like in this moment, within this kiss, into a drawing or better yet, a painting. It's okay, though, he reassures himself when Chase deepens the kiss, because he could still paint the way Chase looked just before. Julian's fingers intertwine in both Chase's own and his shirt. Having never done this before, yet being so eager to do it with Chase doesn't slip his consciousness, wanting to keep the wolf there with him for longer. However, he doesn't know how long these are supposed to last either. What's appropriate? Does a kiss include tongue, too? Isn't that something else? It's when he's in need of air that he pulls away, scrunching his eyes together as he gasps for breath. "We might need to... Practice that more." He quirks his lips into a smile, quickly pecking those very lips. "You taste sweet." He's a little lightheaded, but he feels evermore willing to hold the wolf close, even closer. Wrapping his arms around Chase's middle, it's certainly a different way to hug someone. Is this also considered cuddling? 
CH: when julian's fingers lace with his, the melody of the song floods his mind and he finds traces of julian between each note. how to hear a song like this and not think of right now, of this very moment? if you don't mind, i'll walk that line. just when he thought it couldn't be any sweeter, julian says something so endearing that chase feels his heart skipping rather than racing, finally finding its pace to the rhythm of the song in his mind as it becomes steady, comfortable, tamed by how cute julian is, by how his compliment makes his cheeks burn red. i wanna come home to you. is that what this feeling is too? eyes still widened by the peck to his lips, he relaxes even more once julian holds him closer, tighter. fingers that laced with his now pulling at his heartstrings instead, a song only heard between them in this tent as he settles in, settles down, rests his weight against julian's, leg slipping between theirs. "is it just practice?" or is it for real, he doesn't ask right away, only staring at julian with a smile, shifting atop of him more to gently knock his forehead against theirs and he finally says it, "what if i want to do it for real? can i kiss you anytime?"
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jasenet · 3 years
Text
200527 | #lota-julian-bedrom
( image cover. ) — location: seraph house.
CH: arms full of clothes and a bag filled with colorful patches ranging from rainbows to flowers and hearts, multi-colored lightning patches he thought were especially cool, he leans himself against the wall just beside julian's door. with a soft grunt, he tries to balance everything enough to free his hand just enough to open it. with a victorious 'oh yeah' he stops the door from closing with his foot, hand having already returned to keep a sweater from falling free. nudging the door wide enough to slip in, he calls out with a smile, "sorry for coming in unannounced but i really wanted to show you all of this! there's a cute balloon animal patch in here and i wanted you to see it!" dumping the clothes onto julian's bed, he lets out a big breath, wiping his brow as if it'd been strenuous work to bring it all over. "i think they're iron-on... but you know how to sew too, right? i hope you're better than i am... ah wait i got ahead of myself. someone gave me all these patches and i thought you'd like them too. if you don't have any clothes you wanna put them on, you can take one of mine!"
JN: Keeping with his regular work and routine, there was rarely much to do in the afternoon. Every day, he would come and go in relative silence. It was a perk of living on the same floor as the medical room. He was not two minutes away from anyone’s medical emergency, to which he could only be grateful for. However, even with the spare time, the bedroom looked minimally lived-in. Various strange sketches and concept art were taped haphazardly on one wall, while the open window took the one beside it. The window naturally let in the afternoon sun, and it was the sole source of light throughout the room. As for the ceiling, it remained blank. He didn’t know whether it’d be appropriate, but he wished to paint a mural. 
 Just as he tossed himself onto the bed, an arm over his eyes and legs below the knee over the edge, the scent of perhaps the sweetest wolf he’d ever encountered was drawing stronger by the second. Julian sat up and took a gander over his bedroom for any anomalies. The unnecessary concern distracted from Chase's entrance, and his blue eyes shone curiously onto the colorful items as they got closer. The lota wasn’t sure how to tell the omega how much of an ametuer he was with sewing. Such tasks were for the kappas, as he was introduced, and he simply accepted that it wasn’t for him to learn. “I’ll give it a try.”
Perhaps it was obsessive how he quickly latched onto anything colored yellow and orange. Plucking out a few different flower patches, he assumed they required more intricate sewing. He then pulled out a brightly-colored sweater to inspect, and it was not dissimilar to his own choice of wardrobe. “I didn’t realize our styles matched so well.” The image of his closet, as it was the last time he’d seen it, appeared in his memory plain as day. There were certainly some that could use a bit of customization. However, he could argue that all of them were eligible. “My closet is free reign to you, too.” Julian offered Chase a small smile. “Where do we start?”
CH: though the words aren't brimming with confidence as he hoped, the truth is, he thinks julian has steadier hands, more meticulous of a work ethic. when it comes to detail and perfection, chase mostly does so for his singing. even that, in the end, is typically wrought over more so by emotion than technique and professionalism. however praised he might be when he used to perform, he knows he was lacking, still is now that his most consistent performance is in the showers these days or under his breath as he helps out with errands. "i've been wondering that! sometimes i look at your clothes when i see you and think i have something similar or i want something like that too! it suits you. i like seeing you in bright colors! it makes it easier to smile when i see you. i already do but everything is so colorful!" beaming at the offer, he closes the distance between them, an arm hugging julian's waist before he lets go, going through the patches himself and holding up the balloon animal patch he spoke off, holding it up to julian's chest. "do you think we'll go back to the boardwalk or to a festival or something? i want a real balloon animal too. i think this would look good on a yellow shirt or sweater. what do you want to put the flower patches on? it is getting warmer these days..." 
JN: “You’re so colorful,” he blurted with nothing but a toothy grin on his face. “Inside and outside.” Although he was stunned by the hug, he reached up a moment later to hug back. — Looking down at the patch Chase held against him, he placed a heart patch beside it for review. “I think all I have are sweaters,” he replied sheepishly. He took another look at Chase’s clothes and realized that that was the difference. “And long sleeves.” It took a moment for him to process what ‘boardwalk’ meant, but nothing came up for it. He was too embarrassed to ask. However, he understood ‘festival’, so he could at least respond to that. “A friend of mine said there’s a lotus garden festival soon.” Nam Hae somehow always knew about these things, so he found out by just being in the room. There was no chance he could go, though, so Julian relied on her stories. “Is that what you mean?” 
CH: "me?" his brows lifting, he stares at julian, questioning what it's like to be colorful inside and there's the obvious joke about his organs and how blood is a bright red but it's more than that; he knows it is, that it's something more along the lines of how he likens claire to sunshine and julian to moonlight the more time they spend together. there's a sense of hesitation in the air from the hug but he brushes it off, smiles at julian again and nods in approval when a heart patch is paired with the balloon animal. "that's perfect!" hearing that the lota's clothes seem more suited for colder weather doesn't surprise him and he continues smiling, "that's okay! do you wanna put it on a sweater then?" because if julian doesn't want to wear shorter sleeved clothing, chase wouldn't push it on him. "lotus garden? that sounds pretty! do you think we could try? i wonder if cam would let us... we should all go to a festival. they seem so fun. but something like that! but i don't think if that sounds like a festival they'd have cotton candy at... i wish! but i don't want to forget! should we put these patches on a sweater for you?" 
JN: Julian could think of quite a few candidates of his own to stitch these things onto, but he took a better look at Chase's selection for reference. If their styles were that similar, then he could certainly find something that matches a couple of them. "Mhm sure," he nodded. "Let me go get one." He passed Chase, making a beeline for his closet, and noted that he should probably head to the laundry room again sometime soon. Some of the clothes in there were more suited to autumn and winter with their thicker fabrics. "What does a festival look like to you?" He came back with sapphire blue cashmere and sunset-gradient cotton sweaters. He figured they would suit the patches better. If anything, they were blank canvases. He stopped in place, smiling sheepishly at the bed as he put his clothes down. "Cam won't be awake to notice anyway." 
CH: pursing his lips, he drums his fingers along the bedframe, gaze still lingering on the different patches and debating if he prefers simple or more intricate or both. but he shouldn't be overzealous considering his sewing skills. toying with the hem of one of the shirts he brought in, he realizes late that if they're sewing the patches on for extra security, some of them might be too thin to hold up. chase recalls being told something like that, bits and pieces of the advice went over his head both in content and because he was distracted looking at them all. "like a lot of people!" his answer comes immediately, correcting himself, eyes brightening as he says, "lots of smiling people. families, little kids holding plushies and candy. ah, cotton candy..." trailing off dreamily, chase almost tastes it on the tip of his tongue. distracted now by the colors of the sweaters julian brings, he laughs, nodding in agreement. "let's pick a festival to go to then, you and me. we could ask near and baby too. it'll be like the ice cream shop!" 
JN: Rather than by subject themselves, Julian's starts separating and grouping the patches by color. It's a different sort of organization to the medicine cabinet, but arguably much more fun. He refrains from placing a few aside which would look like on his sweaters, and splits his attention with Chase talking instead. There's not much of a reference for him to go by when the camping trip would have to have been the first of its kind for him. The beach and boardwalk had a lot of different people and children smiling away their troubles and enjoying their day. Perhaps that's what Chase is referring to. They'd have to go back sometime, if possible. "Did you get any cotton candy during the trip?" He remembers being asked for the flavor at the ice cream parlor, but he never consumed the real thing himself. Julian looks up at Chase again once he's done organizing the patches with a small hum. "We should go again, yeah. Have you seen them around recently though?" 
CH: "i did! when i was on the boardwalk with cam," he grins, fond of the memory and even more fond of cam for getting cotton candy with him after the trip. sitting on the bed, he sorts through some of the clothes, debating which ones look best and sorting out the thicker materials from the thinner, setting those too thin behind him and off to the side after he realized moments ago it's best to stick to the former. "is there an ice cream parlour in town . . . there's the diner and the bakery . . . " just how long had it been since he went into the city or in town anyway? he'd become more of a homebody since becoming part of seraph and he doesn't mind it at all, but it is different from how he once lived. "oh, i see near more often because i . . . our rooms are close so i say good night most of the time," he clears his throat, staring down at one of the sweaters he last grabbed. "i want to spend more time with everyone. but that's hard to pull off, huh?" 
JN: It doesn't distract him too much. If anything, he's more than encouraging to have Chase talk, particularly more than him. It feels like the omega has so much to say at all times. Julian wants to get it out of him, learn and keep learning about everything Chase, if possible. "Oh, I didn't get to see him much. What else did you do there?" He still hasn't finished drawing everything he decides to remember in his journal, but among them already had been the cycling. There'd been quite a few firsts during the trip. "I haven't explored the town any. I guess the higher ranks would know. Or... Do you want to find it?" 'With me', he'd add, but he isn't the most reliable companion for such an excursion. Chase is really social, though. Surely he'd have someone to turn to for such a thing. "Depends on the wolf, I think." Pulling out one of the sweaters, he gets up to press it against his current wear. "This one? With the yellow and blue flowers?" 
CH: "mm, i don't think i remember much. i didn't seem cam much then eith— oh, i went to the aquarium!" how he made it there on his own, he doesn't know anymore but he had plenty of fun. "have you been before? we should go to one too." that's true, asking the higher ranks would make it easier. asking athena and yeon seems reasonably easy too. "ah— yeah! that sounds fun! let's go explore on our own," he pauses only because it's not the safest idea but they'd go during the day most likely so it should be okay, right? looking over the sweater, chase grins, looking for pins to keep them in place as they decide. didn't he bring some... reaching into his pocket, he pulls out the pins he borrowed, yellow flower-like stoppers on each one. "do you like butterflies? flowers and butterflies are cute! oh, or we could make it all flowers... too many options..." 
JN: Brows raised and mouth agape, the very notion of an aquarium takes him aback. "There was an aquarium?" One might even say the beach is the better trade, the very one littered with glass he'd gone with Athena. But the thing is, he had the time and energy to go. The sadness of missing out weighs him only the slight bit more. However, the proceeding invitation most probably outweighs ten folds. "Yeah! Let's go to an aquarium together." And plenty of other places. "Did you see any sharks?" At some point, one would just have to stop and ask whether he'd like to be a mer-wolf, right? His spring has arguably been filled with water-related trips. The hesitation is quite telling. No matter how well he can follow directions, follow a map, he'll always somehow get himself lost. But he appreciates the enthusiasm. Regardless, the here and now calls for other matters to be attended to. Namely, the very much blank sweaters in juxtaposition to the colorful and busy-looking patches right next to them. "We could make a garden, or the illusion of one." He quickly picks out three flowers he deems a color-match along with a blue butterfly to go in the center. "At the end of the sleeves, and then these leaf ones on the chest. Suture- Sew them together." 
CH: "yeah! it was . . . oh, it wasn’t that far from the bike shop we went to! i want to do that again too. biking with you or skating. i heard there was jet skis too but those are a bit more dangerous,” with a laugh, chase scratches at the back of his neck. “i think i might need more courage to go on one of those.” looking at julian, chase realizes he might be able to muster up enough bravery if they’re doing it together. there’s something about the lota that wrap him up in healing warmth, that allows him to feel comfortable and confident. maybe it’s the optimism that shines so brilliantly in ocean eyes, how it washes over him, refreshing and cool. “they had sharks! even the one with the, uh, it’s like . . . ah, the hammer shape head.” the name is so simple his cheeks flush a little once he realizes but his hands are already next to his own head, trying to make the shape, grin growing on his lips. “a garden sounds pretty,” his tone drips of awe and his cheeks hurt from smiling as he imagines it. “seraph has the best lotas,” he chuckles. “thinking of suturing even now.” taking the patches in hand, he tries to hold them up to the sweater to see where to pin them but it’s not the same comparing it in the air or even laying it down on the bed. “do you mind wearing it so i can pin them in place? i wanna figure out the best spots for each one.” 
JN: "Oh, I'll try anything once." He nods as if to make the statement final. "It sounds fun." There are so many more mundane things he has yet to experience, so doing something that isn't commonly done is of great interest. They shoot up higher up the do-to list if he has someone to do them with. "Hammer head sharks? I wonder how the glass doesn't break if they hit it." Julian looks off momentarily, a bit lost in thought as he holds the sweater closer to his chest. His gaze wanders to the blue pile of patches, plucking a random few from it, and thinks about how fish might feel if they see someone eat fish. "Speaking of which, do you like sushi?" Though he's about to sit back down on the bed, make more combinations, he pauses in place at the request. It's simple, certainly. But perhaps not to him. "Is that... really... okay?" As he swallows, he thinks the question is for himself as well. Only a couple of wolves have seen his torso, littered with scars that have since 'healed'. But scars don't really heal, do they? He carefully sets the sweater down, eyes downcast and color muted. And as if a tester, he pulls back his right sleeve to reveal a few more scattered scars; smaller knife cuts and veins more visible due to, what he thinks, is his paleness. 
CH: with the admission, chase wonders if julian is more daring than he thinks, more open but with his own secrets. but something like coming from julian doesn't carry the same tones or suggestion that some of their own pack members saying it would. he doesn't think so anyway but he still ends up swallowing thickly, pushing the thought away from his mind. wouldn't be the first time his mind wanders to that when the words itself had been said innocuously. "hammerhead sharks? oh... do you think it's as hard as a hammer? or harder since hammers... what came first?" but he's distracted by the mention of sushi instead of indulging in the sudden urge to google hammerhead sharks. "i love sushi!" he hesitates, remembering that it's not as common, right? a wolf preferring fish to red meat. "do you?" 
he's trying to wrap the pin cushion strap around his wrist, having seen it done a few times to make pinning easier as he sticks a few in there, when he looks over to julian. it seems like a trick of light at first until he realizes what's on julian's arm is really there and he gapes for a moment, wondering what to do. does he say something? does he pretend not to see? does he ask? a million thoughts start to run through his mind but his body moves before he can process, taking julian's arm and trailing his fingers over some of them, brows furrowed til he can manage to look julian in the eyes. "does it hurt? are you hurting?" he knows well enough from his own past that these scars could've come from anywhere, anything, anyone. 
JN: It's commonplace for his train of thought to switch from one lane to another, one random thought after another. He doesn't have a definitive answer for Chase, though. He's been told that tools have been around for more years than he can fathom, but as a species of fish, it's likely they came around first. "They're prehistoric, I think. The shark, fish. But yeah, I do like sushi. I'll make it for you sometime." The words come out easier that way. They don't hold any personal history to them, not like what he ends up revealing to the omega. He swallows thickly, unsure whether to keep going or cut their losses now. Julian expects scorn, mockery, perhaps even anger. Something similar to what he got from those... Whoever they were. They looked like them, like this, but were they really wolves? Or just humans? Just humans doesn't feel right to even think when they were the assumed individuals responsible for all this torture. Some of these cuts were fresh back then, the start of his new life. But even now, almost two years later, the phantom feeling of the stings returns as the memory does. "No." He covers his sleeve back up. "No, it doesn't." Blinking up at Chase, he manages a sliver of a smile, though short-lived. "The rest of me is like that, though." Ugly. Damaged. Unworthy. "I can't do anything about it."  He curls his fingers by the edges of his shirt, but he can't move them. As kind and compassionate Chase has always been to him, he's still afraid. He's afraid that it'll be too much to be kind to. 
CH: "are they?" then again, his knowledge of this and that when it comes to anything beyond basic information is questionable at best. though he had access to certain materials to try learning, he was limited by what he could get from the human children in the house, trying to help them to avoid being— well, that's something else entirely, now, isn't it? he shouldn't let his thoughts drift there. shift the sails, guide it elsewhere like getting lost in ocean eyes. "i'd like that." but he'd enjoy anything julian makes for him, that julian wants to make something chase likes is even sweeter. bated breath is released when julian says no, that it doesn't hurt, that he's not in physical pain at the very least and he can't imagine it. he can't imagine having physical scars to match the emotional ones left behind. the faint smile clenches at his heart and he's reaching out to grab julian's hand as it fixes his sleeve, catching them just when they linger at the hem of their shirt. "so the rest of you is soft and warm? sweet and comfortable?" the words slip out faster than he can think because how julian sounds when he says he can't do anything about it nearly breaks his heart. he doesn't have to do anything about them. if they're a part of julian, they're just as lovable as he is. "is that . . . is that why you wear long sleeves even in summer?" 
JN: In all honesty, there’s nothing good that he expects out of this. Showing even a little bit is a rick he so adamantly avoids. Sometimes he wonders if he could get away with suturing cloth to his skin, but that’s a little extreme, isn’t it? Just like how he’d rather inject himself with vitamins than eat most days. It’s not healthy in every sense of the idea, he knows. It’s like he can only think in extremes. So when Chase speaks again, using positive adjectives with such fondness in his tone, he grows evermore speechless. Even breathing in this moment feels like a violation of all that is socially acceptable. But asphyxiation is a real way to one’s demise, so he doesn’t. He’s shaking, though, he can’t help that bit. 
How could you say that? He wants to ask. Short and simple, and very curious. It might take more than five minutes, more than an hour perhaps, to even process those words. Soft and warm? Sweet and comfortable? Is that how he’s projecting? “Isn’t that all you?” He swallows, regretting his words the millisecond before it leaves his lips. He’s so in his head right now that it feels trapping. As if he can only see Chase in this moment, and yet that’s sort of hard to do right now. “You’re lying if it’s not you.” He remains seated on his bed. His bed, yet it feels so unfamiliar all of a sudden. Julian presses his eyes closed, nodding his head at the question as he hides his arms behind his pulled up legs. A barrier, he supposes. He doesn’t know, really. He wants to… He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want Chase to reject him, but it feels so much like it.
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jasenet · 3 years
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200604 | #omega-chase-bedroom
( image cover. ) — location: seraph house.
CH: (/ after helping out in the gardens for the day, even stopping by the sunroom and the greenhouse for extra attention there, he thinks he smells more of sunshine and dirt but his room still smells as sweet as normal. there's a slight change in the air, enough that chase is confused by it, notes of a unique fruit cutting in through vanilla and lingering toffee. how he notices that before his sheets is a mystery. his priorities are mixed up these days if he doesn't focus ) what... (/ did he take them off this morning and forget? the text comes in not too long after he's finished retracing his steps. but he didn't go to the laundry this morning... maybe he should check anyway. what's this about bringing alcohol to the basement? but the fort )
JN: “Do you ever…” The question wedged itself in his throat, as if it weren’t hard enough to speak, it went and did this. The words slipped him for the moment, and he had to just lay there in total silence. That was, besides the downpour outside. There hadn’t been rain in quite a while, but he chalked it up to the season. It always did baffle him how the supposed hottest season of the year had thunderstorms. Julian closed his eyes and listened to the raindrops that hit a sheet of metal. He didn’t know what it was exactly, but it sounded like it. “Breathe?” That wasn’t it. “Do you ever remember your past and stop breathing altogether? You just forget how to. Suddenly you’re running your body on manual, and you failed the drivers’ test.” He opened his eyes again to a blank ceiling. He should really start painting some of these blank canvases with the colors of the rainbow. It’d look far more inviting.
CH: the heat of the season and how the upcoming one would be worse only bothered him during the day. at night, it cooled down enough that he continues craving warmth, naturally reaches for julian's hand and sighs contently once he finds it. the question confuses him until julian specifies the past and he doesn't even have to think of an answer. in that very moment, he feels it, how he forgot to breathe for a second, lungs constricting without release until he squeezes julian's hand, suddenly chuckling at the comparison. "have you taken your driver's license test?" there shouldn't be a single agency that grants chase one, at least not now. "i agree with you though... is that what it feels like for you too? the past is..." swallowing thickly, he rolls onto his side, staring at julian. "do you feel like you can breathe now?" 
JN: despite being in safe company, having his hand touched suddenly made his fingers flinch. but he relaxed himself into it. seraph has so many wolves, and so many on this floor alone. if anything happened, they'd have heard it before it ever reached them. the rain, a storm, perhaps it only appealed to his melancholy. "no," he'd never thought to take one before. "have you?" it seemed like a thing that wasn't necessary. did they even have a car to drive on the premises? besides, "where would you go?" silence hit him the moment chase answered his question, albeit with his own. the 'too' is quite telling. he wanted to ask outright, what sort of past was he thinking about, and what made him stop breathing; the whole nine yards. but where to start? "i think they call it drowning, but my version is starvation. how do you feel?" thunder clapped then, and he was forced into silence again. better words felt too heavy to say. 
CH: he's apologetic at first, sad second, because he should know better but he likes to hope that when julian comes to his room, lays in his bed, that holding hands isn't something to be surprised by. he likes to think that when he's around, that julian is comforted by chase's presence. maybe they're not there yet, maybe he's alone in that, in thinking that having julian around makes him feel better, safer, softer. it's weird, actually, that sometimes he feels more like protecting julian than himself. "huh? no... i don't think i should be allowed to operate something that weighs so much." something that can cause so much damage with one wrong turn. doesn't sound right for him, to be honest. he means to let go of julian's hand, to offer him more space after being too forward but the clap of thunder makes him squeeze tighter, feeling a pang of guilt in his chest until he lets go, willing himself to calm down. he likes rain, it's loud thunder that gets him. "starvation...?" he doesn't get it, but drowning sounds closer to what he knows. not knowing how to name it, he's quiet, letting out a small hum before he muses aloud, "i think of it as floating. you know, like a ghost. i don't feel there in the moment." 
JN: “Have you been inside one?” He started moving his toes right then. The cold had caught up to him. However, he was reminded of the warmth all in his hand at the squeeze and he couldn’t help his grin. Julian rubbed his thumb over Chase’s. He didn’t think too much of it once they separated again. “I’ve never drowned,” he answered simply. “But I’ve starved.” He turned his head to rest on the pillow, face-to-face now, and smiled softly. It was as if it was a happy memory. The thought of being alone out there in the woods, knowing nothing, helped him feign happiness. Simply because he wasn’t there anymore. The following sentiment presented to him seemed awful for anyone to experience. It sounded like one wasn’t welcomed in their own body. “Do you feel it when you’re around others? Many others.” 
CH: "yeah," tone light and soft, he tries to smile at the memory but, the truth is, he'd mostly been inside cars to be transported from one house to another when the time came, ended up being how he finally left. the way julian touched his thumb made him want to take the lota's hand again but he decides against it, turning onto his side as he struggles for what to say next. how could he answer it? what does it mean to starve but not drown? was he wrong? truthfully, he feels starved for attention, affection, love but he doesn't recognize it enough on his own. he feels bad to admit it when he's been given so much since becoming part of the pack. "yeah." exhaling slowly, hand slipping under the pillow as he nestles his head more against soft cotton. "i used to be around a lot of people at once. in bars and lounges... there could be a lot of people but i didn't feel like me. do you feel like yourself? like all the time? i don't know if it's possible." 
JN: Curiosity persists. Every time Chase answered one question, another potential one popped up. Well, it was more like a dozen, like "what were you doing in bars?" His brows narrowed, lips curved downwards, as his nails dug crescents into his palm. The longer the rain fell, the more melancholic this felt. Would it be so wrong to want to know more? Or was knowing someone in the present enough? How did others' past shape who they were today? He cursed his long nails; cursed himself for not cutting them the other day. Any deeper and it'll start to go numb. "Maybe," he couldn't really answer that. His definition of 'being yourself' held different connotations to others, it seemed. "I hope so. I don't like not knowing what I'm doing; who I am." 
CH: "all the time?" there's an airiness to his voice then, a hint of wonder as he stares at julian, wanting to prompt the other to turn onto his side and face him too but how? between them, he remembers moments in which he didn't have to hesitate to try and take julian's hand but he does now, brows furrowing when he thinks of seconds earlier. "like . . . you prefer being in control? that's normal, right? wanting things to be a sure thing." grinning, he sings softly, "we could do it baby, simple and plain. 'cause this love is a sure thing." with a deep breath, he closes his eyes, a faint smile on his lips. "sure things are nice." 
JN: His bright blue meet a wonderful stormy grey, reminding him of smoke and ash. But then the flecks of blue keeps his hopes up. Surely there's been worlds, people, memories where storm clouds have touched and left with it a face he thinks no one would ever forget; a personality so openly affectionate yet taken; and a voice that amazes his senses so much he wants to bottle it up and keep. 'A recording would do,' he thinks, 'but it's not the same.' He doesn't want the echo of a ocean captured in a seashell; he wants the vastness of the sea and immerse himself so fully. He wants to be in Chase's presence in all its forms. So he nods entirely, speaks with more confidence, and smiles with all his heart. "Yeah, I want to be the master of my own fate." And maybe he's grinning now; knowing so clearly that he's in company he trusts. "Your voice is really pretty, Chase. Do you sing often?" 
CH: 'look up to the sky' is a phrase he's carried with him from childhood til now. it was once a coping mechanism, a form of escape but, right here, right now, the sky is julian's eyes and he's floating on a cloud instead of lying in fear of a storm. the grin that forms on the lota's lips is practically sunshine and he wonders if julian has always been as comforting and warm as a clear day. julian's words are similar to a line in the song he sang when he invited cam and he nearly sings again, distracted by the idea that he should invite julian. he thought about it then too but didn't in the end, too bashful about his return to lounge singing. "i love singing," he licks his lips, smiling before he lets out a soft exhale. "do you like my voice? i'll sing a song for you if you have one in mind." 
JN: "I do!" He answers excitedly. Even with just that little bit of preview, he believes so fully that he likes Chase's voice. Perhaps even love it, much like he loves the sun and rain. They're necessities, he argues with himself, but also symbolic and comforting. It reminds him of the afternoon they lazed in the backyard while the sun set, and how he'd find traces of Chase around the house ever since. 'A comforting presence,' he believes. Closing his eyes for a moment, he hums in consideration. "I don't know many songs," and his memory doesn't serve him as well when it comes to the auditory world. Reopening his eyes, he pulls out his phone and readjusts his position to allow for Chase to see as well. "Get your phone, too. I wonder if our taste in music similar, too." 
CH: julian's excitement, his honesty, is contagious and, even with the rain outside his bedroom window, he somehow feels the warmth of sunlight, the soft gentle lull of moonlight. "i used to get requests. learned a lot of songs that way," he smiles fondly at the memory. when he was younger, it was the same and those songs got him through the monotonous days. shifting slightly onto his back and reaching to get his phone from the nightstand, his head resting against julian's shoulder, he hands his phone over, stifling a yawn as he tilts his head, nuzzling close. "do you like lauv? or imagine dragons?" 
JN: He stops scrolling preemptively. "You got a lot of requests? I'd always request something from you. I'll have to learn more songs first, though." As his eyes shift to and fro, realizing now that he'd be sleeping here with Chase tonight, he readjusts to the screen light. "Something you might enjoy singing, too." Julian pays attention to the lyrics of a song as much as its composition, so it always strikes a chord when they both suit each other well. By the time Chase rests on his shoulder, he's already scrolling through artists in an A to Z order and back as he takes Chase's phone and does the same. "I like Lauv! I also like Troye Sivan. I was listening to 'i'm so tired' yesterday. I don't know Imagine Dragons, though. That sounds like a band. What would you recommend?" Putting his own phone down, he only goes through Chase's music—multitasking by grabbing the blanket to pull over them. 
CH: "whatever you request, i’ll sing it for you.” to him, whenever he used to get a request, he preferred if he knew the song and especially if he liked it like julian says but there’s also a fondness that comes with singing a song because someone else wants to hear it, to know that they like the original but want to hear his voice singing it too. he’s even more proud of his singing during moments like those and hearing julian mention ‘i’m so tired’ brings more weariness to his body, eyelids growing heavier and heavier still as he nods. “believer is a good song. i sang it recently in a lounge. you should come with me.”  though he manages to stifle a yawn, he can’t stop the eventual drooping of his eyelids and with the warmth of the blanket over them, he slowly starts to doze off, arm slung over julian’s chest when he moves closer. 
JN: Julian pats the blanket over Chase, assuring that it's properly covering him. "Really? You will?" He grins over to Chase, the disbelief in that quickly being overwritten by how much softer he looks in that moment. It strikes him that it's about time for bed, even as his heart rate shot up at in utter delight. It'll take a bit longer for him to fall asleep, something Chase seems far closer than he. So he keeps talking instead, albeit in a much lower, less excited tone than before. "Let me know when you next go. I'll definitely come." He scrolls back up to find the band and at their song, certain it would be in his phone if he holds it at a high regard, high enough to sing it at a lounge. By the time he finds it and sends it to himself over imessage, along with a few of the other Imagine Dragon songs in Chase's supposed repertoire, he's far too used to the arm around his chest and the slow, peaceful breathing beside him. He puts both their phones on silent and sets them beside one another as he keeps his hand over Chase's, waiting for sleep to take him, too. 
(  FIN!!  )
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jasenet · 3 years
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200816 | #s-kitchen
( image cover. ) — location: seraph house.
CH: there’s a number of bowls and ingredients laid out in front of them. too much that chase can’t decide where to start first and so he relies on julian, looking over to him as he, at the very least, cuts up some of the strawberries he’s washed as further preparation for whatever they start with. “are you hungry now? we could make something quick first. smoothies can be filling! we’ll just add, um . . . it’s called chi . . . chi-something seeds? i think it’s chia.” chase hums, setting the knife down and tapping his chin. “they’re good for you and have lots of fiber for how small they are!” picking up one of the strawberries, he bites into it, glad that the darker red ones they chose did end up tasting rather sweet and he holds up another for julian to take.
JN: When Chase expresses concern for him, well, he can't say he's hungry. He'd be the last to eat if it weren't for the hierarchy and a particular beta glaring at him from across the room to do so. But his hesitation seems to benefit more than not when smoothies are suggested, to which he promptly nods his head in a definitive 'yes'. He hums, certain he's had chia seeds at least once before. "Lots of fiber, lots of protein—though not as much as you'd get from red meat, of course. Nutritious in vitamins as well, particularly in—" He blinks himself back into reality. That is, the reality of a kitchen rather than a medical room. That, coupled by the fact that Chase is holding out a strawberry for him makes him unable to meet his gaze, quietly taking it and nibbling on it. "Yes, let's make smoothies. Please." He says as he hangs his head.
CH: "what kind of vitamins?" he asks, having only heard about chia seeds from one of his friends back when he sang more often. she loved fad diets though this one seemed to stick for her and he was happy for her, no matter how much he followed her around backstage singing songs of positive reinforcement of not needing to change and being perfect as one is. maybe he should do the same for julian. trying to hide the disappointment that he couldn't feed julian like how the lota fed the bunny from when they picked the strawberries, he grins, reaching out to pat their head. "what are your favorite fruits? oh, maybe we should add veggies too... but i can never put enough to hide the taste. can you?" then again, maybe that's because they're wolves. heightened senses and all.
JN: He puffs out his cheeks at first as his gaze wanders here and there. "Vitamin B. 1, 2, and 3." He emphasizes the numbers with his fingers, far too used to now, and if he's honest, he misses it. It's not all bad, though. Julian recognizes that he relied so much on sign language because he couldn't speak to anyone freely and properly. However, now he has quite a few, including the wonderful omega in front of him. He throws the pedicel away, and only comes back standing even closer to Chase than before — albeit leaning against the counter more as well. "Oh, lots of fruits. Bananas, mangoes, melons, apples... Anything that's quick and easy to eat. But I guess you'd still have to cut and carve, like, a watermelon, right?" The visuals of the fruits come to mind as he says them. "Peaches are in season, too, aren't they?" Smiling up at Chase, he'd argue that they wouldn't need to mix in fruits and veggies, but if he really wants to, then... "Spinach and kale, maybe? They're sort of tasteless, and aren't crunchy like cauliflower." He looks down at his fingers, feeling rather useless in how they aren't even moving right now. "What about I make us some kimbabs, too? You don't have to cook dinner right away, do you?"
CH: how quick julian is to list off the vitamins makes chase laugh, in admiration and adoration, the corners of his eyes curling upwards as he grins. needily, he looks after julian when he walks away, only satiated when the lota comes back even closer than before and he reaches out to take their hand. before, he thought that julian's hands might be more calloused or rough than his because of work, or because chase obsessively used to love scented hand creams, but now he's certain julian needs gentle touches. as simple yet complicated as that. "cut and carve? do you know how to carve fruit? i've seen videos, i think. they look really pretty! do you know what i'm talking about?" though he should have more preference, he normally doesn't when it comes to fruit or vegetables. for years, he was taught to just eat whatever was given for him and that might be to blame for why he likes seafood compared to raw meat. at the very least, it contributes to it. "peaches sound good!" they're pretty sweet too, right? peaches and strawberries... "they're tasteless?" though he thought he doesn't dislike much, he unknowingly scrunches his face at the mention of cauliflower. "if you start making something else, i'll want to watch you instead! distracting," he declares with a laugh. "let's make both together."
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jasenet · 3 years
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200429 | #quix-bike-rental-and-bathing-suit-shop
( image cover. ) — location: quixotic camping trip event / island.
JN: ( ; idly touching the rims of a blue bicycle, he glides his hand up to the bell; accidentally having it go off and flinching away from it. ) chase- ( ; he reaches over for the omega right away, and gently resting his hands on the wolf's left shoulder. ) which bicycle do you want? ( ; smiling up at stormy grey eyes, he's hit with the memory of drawing the exact shape and coloring it in⁠—only to realize the hints of blue in them later on. )
CH: (/ he'd been fiddling with the holographic streams of another bike, white with stripes of he thought to be a neon rainbow, when he hears the bell go off, already turning to julian when he's reached out for, the corners of his eyes softening and a smile on his lips at the call of his name, hand reaching for julian's in comfort. while chase grew up around such objects, around constant noises a floor above him while he obediently waited, he knows julian isn't. he seems stronger, more tolerant, and just the slightest bit taller, but chase still wants to wrap julian in all the care and protection he could provide, no matter how little it may be. cerulean blue eyes are so captivating when they meet his and chase feels comfort wash over him, the lota in front of him a gentle ocean allowing him to drift along peacefully ) oh! i really want to try the two-people bikes. could we? i haven't used one before either but... we could learn together! do you mind? (/ fingers squeeze gently against julian's, the plea glistening in grey hues )
JN: ( ; the last of the bell echos into the distant void, otherwise getting buried by the nearby seagulls that seem to do a good job at doing nothing at all. a part of him is curious and wants to reach over and touch them, know how that beak really feels like and whether they're cold, but instead he tenses his hands in compensation of gripping the wolf any more. his gaze lingers towards the two-people bikes, as it were, and keeps a constant eye on the color yellow. he's looked at it so much this trip, it might be his favorite color. ) i don't mind. ( ; his soft voice carries less in the open space, but he takes advantage of their close proximity that way. chase always looks so cheerful and present. it makes him think energy can really be influenced through osmosis. and so he nods eagerly, gently taking the omega's hand in both his own and leads him to the yellow double bike. pulling it out of its row, he's instantly met with the sound of chains clinking against hollow metal--quickly furrowing his brows at chase in question. )
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jasenet · 3 years
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200320 | #backyard
( image cover. ) — location: seraph house.
CH: despite being an omega himself, chase wanted to help in whatever way he could. at least, until his own hormones became unbearable. it wore on his mind, truthfully, that he should be used to it by now, to being around so many other wolves compared to how he'd lived before. if he were the type to place labels, to accept labels, he knows it'd be deemed chaos but chase still thinks fondly of the time spent living in different places, trying to find home until he did. swallowing thickly, he looks at the few hot packs he's sewn up. they're nothing much, to be honest. smaller than he intended, the stitches lackluster and even his fingers show the failed efforts, prodded and pricked by the needle but with no complaints. it wasn't about how much comfort it did grant but maybe it could help knowing that they're not alone. ah, now to figure out how to give them out and how to explain himself. he lays on his back, making sure the hot packs don't touch the ground, giving them the blanket he'd brought out as a courtesy for when he gifts them. with a deep breath, he watches the clouds float by. it might still be cold but he couldn't help it, he's adored cotton candy clouds for as long as he could remember.
JN: the responsible thing to do was probably to stay in the medical room or nearby just so he would be available for the next wolf that came by. but having done his more mundane tasks earlier that morning, restocking and cleaning up twice, he'd taken to the outdoors. more specifically, the backyard where he could still feel the sun on him, the real sun, while not being too far away. it was a win-win situation. with so many wolves in the pack, it was unsurprising that he quickly found a resting omega and felt the thrill of companionship coursing through his veins. as soon as julian had a five feet distance on chase, he fell to his knees with a cheerful smile and crawled the rest of the way over to the tired-looking omega. "hey, chase. whatcha got there?" pointing to the poorly sewed, rectangular packs, the purpose was somewhat clear. however, as per usual, he was having a hard time remembering what they were called. "do you need any help?" the offer was more for him wanting the company, but he also thought that he might be able to fix the sewing given the chance.
CH: it takes him longer than expected to notice the scent first before anything else. it didn’t used to cross his mind until he finally became part of an official pack. chase used to think he was just imagining things but, this time, he’s a little more proud of himself that once julian is within a few feet, he can decipher it, recognize it, enjoy it instead of feeling confused. he sits up slightly when julian drops down, grinning as bright as the sun that bears down upon them both. “julian!” but bashfulness is a thing and he knows it well when julian points out his handiwork. it must be mad if it’s not obvious what they are. a rectangle was even a basic shape, tsk tsk. ah but maybe it’s not so bad. it’s a basic shape, could be anything! so his smile remains in place, reaching out for julian to hug him if he was allowed to. “i’d rather cloud gaze right now. would you join me? it’d be nice to have a pillow,” he jokes, but he’s never wanted to make julian uncomfortable. “we don’t have to! mm . . . i could go inside and get more blankets and a pillow that way.” he just wants company at this point, especially when afternoon hits and he feels that usual bout of weariness, his stamina still yet to be developed, if it ever will be.
JN: sitting on his knees with his hands rested on his thighs, he tilted his head and watched as chase recognized him and offered his arms out. a hug. a form of physical affection. without thinking about it too much longer, he leaned in and gave chase said hug; squeezing lightly before separating. having been used to the winter coolness, he was thankful to himself for still wearing thick sweaters right then. thankfully, too, hugging didn't hurt as much as it used to despite the evidence that still remained. as soon as he was given permission to join in, he eagerly positioned himself to lay on his back. unbothered by the possibility of dirt of his clothes. they were in the backyard, not the actual forest. julian turned his head to face chase and smiled at him softly; one hand rested on his tummy while the other reached over to hold chase's hand. truthfully, he was just happy to be there. but then he remembered that he wasn't speaking a word and quickly swallowed; looking for something to say. "how do you normally spend your afternoons?"
CH: chase basks in the affection that's given to him, grinning widely that, yes, julian didn't seem to hesitate long. anytime julian returns his affection and doesn't seem to hesitate quite as much as when they first met, chase feels a certain warmth wash over him, blooming on his cheeks and even fanning out to the tips of his ears. physical acts of affection are but the ultimate form of love to him, the only form of love he really knows, that he's truly known his entire life; a necessary constant for him to get through the weariness of the day, of any doubts or worries that he tries to shove away, wind fiercely blowing those clouds away in lieu of the ones he loves to gaze up at. when julian joins him, chase lays back down too, arm bent as he used it to prop his head up slightly, supporting his neck. he doesn't expect the extended hand and is practically aglow when he takes julian's hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing lightly with a smile still on his lips. "i like to spend them like this if i can but i should help out soon. they'll be preparing dinner soon." playing with their hands, chase goes back and forth between fingers, as if trying to figure out if he should rest his hand on top of julian's or vice versa when the only intention is to cling. "what about you? what brings you outside today?"
JN: for a long while, he just looked at chase. maybe just watched him as he made every bit of facial variance that he could make out. it all felt like new territory, new lessons, and most definitely new memories. julian would make as many of them as he possible could and catalogue them for not only the rainy days, but the sunny ones, too. the doom and gloom would never get the chance to overpower him if he had such peaceful and calm memories to keep him afloat. as every limb and bone in his body released themselves of any and all tension, the feeling of relaxation could finally overtake him and he was left to sigh out in relief. it almost felt like he could melt into the ground. the very inkling of a breeze that entered through the openings of his sleeves gave him goosebumps and tickled him pink; letting himself grin and giggle. turning to face the sky now, it was obvious why chase liked to spend his time here. the hesitation in his voice shone through so much he could feel the same. “you do so much for us, chase. thank you.” squeezing chase’s hand at the thanks, he blinked away his growing drowsiness. it was really that time of day again, where it wasn’t quite time for bed, yet something about golden hour and how it made everything extra beautiful made his heart flutter. “i’ve finished my tasks for today. to relax, i came out here. so i’m glad you’re here with me.” slowly letting his eyes close due to the slight change in brightness, he scrunched his sweater as the feeling passed. “stay here a bit longer. please?”
CH: he's been very go with the flow since he was young; it was how he was blown so far away from the wind that he'd yet to reunite with his first pack, with his parents, swept away and brought into a different sky, one without the same sun and moon he'd risen and fallen to but the stars and clouds remain, enough familiarity for chase not to panic. but none of that prepares him for moments like this, in which the praise makes him the most shy of all. it captivates him, really, each syllable a delightful tune for his heart to follow, the rhythm changing to match that of the words he's given so kindly, and chase can't think over the way his heart begins to pound, oh-so-easily overwhelmed. "ah, i can't take all of the credit! where would we be without healers like you, julian? your hands perform magic," he jokes and while the giggle emphasizes how entertained he is, a part of him truly means it. he doubts he could ever do what julian and boram do for the pack, no matter how helpful he wishes he could be. the squeeze to his hand makes his heart swell again and he'd fall over in adoration if he wasn't already laying down. turning on his side, of course he couldn't possibly say no. he wouldn't say no to anything if julian asked so nicely, so gently. "do you want to help with the cooking too? but yes, we can stay here!" nestling closer to julian, the top of his head brushing just barely against julian's shoulder, he points up at the sky with his free hand now. "doesn't that cloud look like a bunny? aah, it's so cute."
JN: there was a sense of ease in the way chase immediately corrected his compliment. and wasn’t that exactly what he admired? someone who would be so considerate of the rest of the pack that they wouldn’t want all the credit anyway? “at least you’re taking some of the credit.” the smile on his lips aimed toward the sky above and all its never ending beauty. it was the same sky that he saw two years ago. and the years before that, he was sure. the empty wander of whether there was anyone left in his biological family looking up at it with him stayed hollow in his chest. but it didn’t stop him from looking at it with more joy than melancholy. “as much as i hope that i’ve always been a healer, i think i’m a healer by trade.” his words came in soft whispers, as if it were a secret—and perhaps it was. there was no one else he’d think to tell it to than the wolf that seemed to praise him for it. perhaps there was more reward in the kind of environment it allowed than it was the practice itself. turning to look at the omega with delight in his blue eyes—so akin to the sky and water’s distance—he couldn’t place the light in his chest now. but he was safe. “i would love to help with the cooking, chase. you can count on me.” there was a small nod of reassurance, as if he had to be convincing. his eyes fell back to the sky and looked for said bunny-shaped cloud. “it’s got a friend.” jules pointed to the one nearby. “it looks like a baby elephant.”
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