"One by one you push away anyone who gets close to me. You think admitting you care about someone is the same as signing their death sentence... Correct. We never win."
Jason: Send me my location, I don’t know where I am.
Tim: Hold-
Dick: *batkids group channel* Hey Baby Bird.
Tim: Nightwing. Again don’t call me-you know what? Nevermind. What’s the problem?
Dick: I need you to send me my location, I got kidnapped overseas.
Tim: Red Hood too.
Jason: Hey! I didn’t get kidnapped, I was violently taken hostage for a minor drug deal that went wrong. Totally different.
Tim: Right.
Jason: Listen here you little shi-
Dick: Oh, Little Wing’s in Belarus. Coordinates: 53.6212, 27.94683 and there’s a bike nearby he can use to get to the aircraft landing space close by but he’ll have to be careful because it’s swarmed by mean-looking guards.
Tim: …..
Jason: Since when are the guards nice-looking?
Dick: Little Wing, when you get kidnapped as often as I do, you get to pick and choose who you like.
Tim: Not getting into that mess but how’d you know Jason’s coordinates?
Dick: Older Sibling’s Intuition!
Tim and Jason: Bullshit.
Tim: Anyway, I’ll send Batman to pick you up.
Dick: Wait, no, Batman will bring Robin and little D just went over to J-Superboy’s house to play video games.
Tim: ….Okay, then I’ll send Batgirl.
Dick: No Batgirl’s throwing it back at a frat party so don’t bother her. She’s winning.
Tim: Orphan.
Dick: No she’s busy dismantling an underground mercenary establishment in Shanghai.
Tim: I’ll-
Dick: Nah, enjoy your date with your golden teddy bear tonight. It’s also a bit of a distance to go from Gotham to Metropolis to pick up your other one.
Tim: OKAY HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE’S LOCATION BUT YOUR OWN?!
Dick: ….Tee Hee 😋✨
Jason: *muffled* did he just “Tee Hee?”
Tim: ….where are the kidnappers, I gotta rescue them.
Dick: *in the background on Dick’s line: sobbing and nonstop muffled thank you’s*