jnolufslovfsnfs

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ipsxm , xkiritsune , irwinctrl

                 ' get in the car. '

#( that's the whole starter. i AM SORRY ) #( alsoim sorry this took like hours. ) #( & * little talks )

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                       ' GOOD -- !! there's no possible way you                          could hurt me more than the rest of the                          FUCKING world does. go on. hit me -- !! '

   ❝don’t test me. i will hurt you.❞

#( but hi bby ily ) #( I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE IS DOING IM SO SRY ) #( & * little talks ) #alloiomeno

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                ' ... or WHAT? '

⊰ : open  : ⊱

   ❝you need to back off -——N O W !!❞

#( whoops HI ) #( & * little talks ) #alloiomeno

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#( ok but srsly like for a starter. ) #( i'm gonna do these now. )

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                         " ---- HELPING me ?! ... you're LEAVING me, when                            i need you the most. that isn't helping me, matthew!                            you told me that we'd get through everything together.                            you PROMISED me. don't run away -- !! we can work                            through it, matthew, please. you don't understand how                            much i need you." declan's voice was strained, and                             suddenly, all of the sadness dissipated. it turned into a                            sort of blind anger, fists clenching at his sides as matthew                            touched him. he thought of his brother ; how arsen would                            have called declan's actions pathetic, that he needed to                            be INDEPENDENT, so that's what he did. "no, no you don't.                            you wouldn't leave me, not if you loved me. don't -- fuck,                             don't give me EXCUSES. especially when they are lies.                            just go, matthew. get out of my house. & don't bother                            coming back in two months, not if you're going to leave again."

                          “look at it as a way of me helping you                            declan we need to get this right, quick                            because the way our relationship has                            been going in the last months is not                            the way i want us to remember.”, he                            stepped forward to him, resting his                             hand on declan’s cheek and letting                             his thumb stroke it softly before taking                            his hand away. “you know how much                            i love you but i think just leaving for                            i—i don’t know a couple of weeks?                             two months would do us both good.                            try to understand, please just try to                            understand.” matthew bit his lip,                             swallowing. “i love you.” 

#( & * little talks ) #perditusviita

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how do you do that on you /d. page?

   basic coding & i'd be willing to help you out if you come off anon

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                         "no." there was a split second that declan figured                            that the taller male was only kidding ; -- a prank                            of sorts, but it didn't take long for him to realize                             that matthew wasn't cruel, he wasn't going to play                            with declan's emotions for a joke. he was serious.                            at that point, declan wished it was only a joke.                             seconds later, declan's heart was pounding in his                            chest & his breathing became shallower, quick                            breaths tearing from his throat. "NO -- !!" the same                            word, repeated with the desperation he felt. "matthew,                            pl ------ please. don't leave me, i -- you're all i have left,                            you're the only one i have, please don't do this. it's not                            you! it's me! don't go, babe, please, i NEED you!!"

                             matthew bit his lip, not saying anything                              for a longer while seemed better than                              saying something that he would regret                              later however the male felt himself                               being desperate with his decision because                              he had already made up his mind about                               the situation— it was hard speaking it                              out though. “declan, if I am the reason                               that you keep on blaming yourself. if                               all MY mistakes lead back to you maybe..”                              he swallowed, this would kill him but                               it would also help him and right now all                              matthew wanted to do was help him.                              ”maybe i should leave then.” 

#( & * little talks ) #perditusviita

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                             declan finally turned his gaze upwards,                              dark hues focusing on that of matthew's                              blue. at the same time, his fingers became                              occupied in toying with the hem of his                              too - large shirt. he was well aware that                              his habit of blaming everything on himself                              had to be something of an annoyance to                              the other, but he couldn't just STOP. he                              had been living his entire life convinced                              that everything wrong that occurred was                              his fault, and his fault alone. "then ----                              DON'T. don't reassure me. don't tell me                              anything, matthew, it -- it doesn't help,                              either way. i'm sorry if i -- if i annoy you."

                     he sighed, resisting the urge to groan out loud                      he needed declan to stop blaming himself and                      he needed him to finally get over arsen’s death                      because matthew had a hard time showing any                      sort of sympathy for the whole thing. “nothing of                      that is your fault, declan— me relapsing is my fault                      only m i n e. listen— we can’t keep go on like this                      i can’t keep reassuring you that you are not the                       one to blame. i— i just can’t." 

#( & * little talks ) #perditusviita

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                    "i'm allowed to blame myself when it's my fault,                      matthew." spoken as only a soft mumble, declan                      didn't want to start an entirely new argument with                      his fiance. "don't ------ don't say that about him. it's                      not HARD to understand, he was the last family i                      had left. my mom and dad are gone, my brother's                      gone and i wish i was gone. i know this is my fault,                      matthew, the -- the relapsing and the fights and ---                      i AM sorry. i love you, okay? i don't want to fight."

                 ”dec. you need to stop blaming yourself for every                    fucking thing that happens between us. or me.”                    matthew grit his teeth, running a hand through his                    hair. “you know how much i hated that bastard so                   i won’t feel any sort of sympathy for the loss of his                   disgusting almost laughable life— but you were his                    brother and i am trying to understand.”                    

#( & * little talks ) #perditusviita

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                 "i ---- ... yeah. we need to talk." -- declan averted                   his gaze, swallowing thickly as he chewed anxiously                   upon his lesser lip. "i -- i'm sorry. arsen's ... he's gone                   & i'm taking it out on you & i ----- i'm sorry ... !"

    “declan—we need to talk. everything has been going      weird lately. i mean you leave, we fight more than       ever and i relapse—i just”, he paused blue orbs meeting      his chocolate ones. “.. it’s not right.” 

#( & * little talks ) #perditusviita

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cat asking for a pet

#gfUXK #dec wants about 400 #( & * d: wants. )

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#( like for a starter bc i need to be more active here. ) #( & * out of bravery. )

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                                                      { p l e a s e }                                                          love the                                                         parts of me                                                            that i                                                                             can’t.

#source:tenebrarums #aka my other blog #fuck this post #IT IS LITERALLY MY ENTIRE ACTIVITY AND IDK HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY.

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19

i got so pissed off in this audio recording you can really hear the 12 yr old boy in me come out

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Say something in a different language.

uhhhh

#10 years of french classes. & i still cant do an accent. #( & * out of bravery. )

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#( & * ooc: meme. )

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how the actual fucking shit do you get so much followers?

i buy friends

#i honestly dont know though I DON'T DESERVE IT YOURE ALL SO FUCKING CUTE.