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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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omgg i'm laughing my ass off rn🤣🤣 this was so good and the ending...i'm dyingg❤️❤️ very good job, love

Growing Pains

Summary: Your brothers believe and fear they can no longer put off having ‘the talk’ with you

(Gif by @mistress-gif) A/N This was requested by the wonderful @fandom-puff: Hiya! Love your writing! If possible, could I request the Shelby’s reaction to sister!reader having a hickey that she had (badly) tried to cover up with makeup/clothes. Maybe not the typical ‘we’ll kill him’- I think it would be hilarious for the boys to try giving a 16/17 year old girl ‘the talk’ while Ada and pol are just in the background shaking their heads at the boys Hope that made sense ♥️♥️♥️ Hope you like this weird little thing!

Words: 2203

***

“What’s that?” Tommy pointed at the pink stain on your neck. The whole family was gathered in the small kitchen and suddenly, all eyes were on you.

You turned even pinker than the blush you had applied to your neck, but it did nothing to hide the blotch. “Is that mine?” Ada scolded. “No!” you retorted, but it was. Moments before, you’d snuck into your sister’s bedroom and taken out all of her make-up. You had always been the tomboy of the family, dressed in shirts and pants whenever you could, so make-up wasn’t familiar territory to you. But now you needed it, for the first time and more than ever. You needed to hide something desperately.

John grinned at you widely and before you could panic properly, he’d grabbed you already and dragged you in closer. He grabbed a cloth and started scrubbing at your neck. In seconds, the pink powder came off. Your brother’s smile faded slowly, “Who the bloody hell did that, Y/N.” Ashamed, you pressed a hand against the offending mark, “No one. I fell.” “Fell into a man’s mouth, now, did ya?” Arthur asked, darkly. “Alright, settle down, “Tommy held up a hand, glaring at you with a burning stare, “Give Y/N a chance to explain herself, eh?”

In the back, you could see both Ada and your Aunt Polly smirking and they turned away silently. Great, you thought, leave me to the wolves, you two. John leaned in closer and whispered, “Is that a hickey?” You knew this was coming, which was exactly why you’d tried to cover the damn thing up! “Who is he,” Tommy demanded. You kept silent. “Tell me his name, Y/N, or I swear to God I will turn this whole city upside down,” Arthur bellowed.

“John,” you lied. “John who?” John asked. Polly leaned in closer and whispered to Ada, “Whoever he was, his name wasn’t John. “Obviously,” Ada mumbled in reply. “He never said,” you shrugged. “Right,” Arthur announced loudly and he stood up, “I’ll find every John in Birmingham and I’ll fucking kill them all,” and then he pointed at you, “And then you.” “Starting with me?” John smirked. “Sit down,” Tommy ordered his hot-headed brother, “If Y/N refuses to tell us the man’s name, there’s nothing we can do.” Arthur was confused, “She just said his name was John…” And four siblings stared at him incredulously. “Y/N, listen,” Tommy cleared his throat and sat down, “Maybe it’s time we talk.” Aunt Polly raised her eyebrows as high as they could possibly go. This would be good. You rolled your eyes, “There’s really no need, Tom…” But again he held up a hand to silence you, “There is. You’re my sister and you’ve grown into a beautiful girl. It’s time you know.” “Know what?” you played dumb. “Boys…” John added uncertainly, “They will want things from you.” “Like what?” “Like they’ll…want to be close to you.” “Right…” John was growing increasingly awkward, “And maybe hold your hand?” “For fucks sake, John, she’s sixteen, not seven,” Ada commented unhelpfully from the kitchen.

“They’ll want to fuck,” John blurted out. Tommy smacked him around the head, like he was still eight and said sternly, “Don’t talk like that to her. She’s still a kid.” “Listen,” Arthur started, calmed a little, “All you need to know is this: you won’t enjoy it. You might think you do now, but you won’t.”

You held out your hands in mock puzzlement, “Enjoy what, Arthur?”

So Tommy gave it a go, “One day, you’ll get married. To a good man. One that we approve of.” “That would be lovely,” you smiled. Then everyone fell silent again. “…And then what?” you asked. “Well, you might want to become a mum,” John added, now eyeing Tommy a little in anticipation, “You know, one day, years from now.” “I might,” you nodded. “She could just adopt…” Arthur suggested, looking at John. “She’s got a fucking hickey on her neck, Arthur, what do you think?” Sighing deeply, you said, “Okay, this is not that difficult! Sex. That’s what we’re talking about, right?” All three brothers froze. “Say it with me,” you encouraged, “Sex.” And you urged them with enthusiastic hand gestures, “Just say it. Everything will be easier after we’ve all said it.” But they just continued to stare at you in silence. “Go on, say it with me: S…” “Please don’t say it again,” Arthur interrupted, “It just feels… wrong.” “Right,” Tommy had found his composure again, “So you know what it is Good.” “This is that, it, what I meant before,” John explained clumsily, “What I said before…” “But you don’t have to,” Arthur hastily said, “Actually you can’t. Not until you’re married.” “Or otherwise it won’t work?” you laughed. “What do you know already?” Tommy asked, feeling this was going all wrong. You could see there was nothing in his life, up to this point, that he had dreaded more, but he tried to go about this as best he could. And with a sort of cruel glee, you enjoyed this deeply. You pulled your shoulders up, “Average, I think.” “Fine,” he dragged a hand through his hair, “I’ll explain.” “Tommy, you really don’t have to…” “When a man and a woman love each other,” he started quickly, “they want to be close.” “And hold hands. John already said,” you reminded Tommy innocently. John shifted in his seat a little, “And they kiss.” “And not just on the mouth,” Arthur mumbled, which earned him two glares from his brothers. Tommy continued, “As you know, men and women have different parts and when they’re in love, they might feel the need to get together and join those parts together.” “Join the parts?” you bit your lip to stop yourself from bursting out in laughter. “Yes. Like horses,” Tommy lit a cigarette suddenly, “When they stand opposite each other and rub their noses against each others backs. They fit together.” You nodded slowly, “Right. I see.”

“So a stallion then mounts a mare, when he gets,” Tommy waved a hand around uncertainly, “Excited.”

“My niece is not a fucking broodmare, though, is she?” Aunt Polly mumbled, who watched the scene with Ada in intense amusement. “I once had a stallion who was initially a colt,” Tommy was going full storytelling mode now, “and the colt had no experience in this field whatsoever. So, we put him in the field with a much older mare. The colt was very keen and tried to mount her, but the mare kicked him off at first. Then the colt got smart, you see, and tried to stroke her sides first, nibbled on her a little and blew on her even. After his teasing, eventually, she allowed it. We got a lovely foal from her.”

Though Tommy looked quite pleased with himself, you just squinted your eyes at him, waiting for the punch line. After what felt like ages, he said, “Now imagine that with humans, eh?” “So I need to find someone who’s a lot older and has more experience,” you concluded. “Fucking hell, no!” Arthur shouted out, “Tom you’re making a bloody mess of this!” You threw up your hands, “Well none of you are making much sense! Am I the colt or the mare in this scenario?”

Arthur lowered his head into his hands, “Jesus Christ, you were five only a minute ago.” “Y/N,” John tried, “Ignore Arthur. One day, you will fall in love with someone. You might even think you love someone now…” “But you don’t,” Arthur finished for him. John cast him another annoyed stare, “And when you’re sure you love him, you’ll know you can trust them. Because men are bastards, most of the time, so you need to find a good one.”

“How will I know?” “When he’s gentle with you,” John said, softly almost, “When he doesn’t force you to do anything and when he actually cares about you.” Arthur smirked suddenly, “When did you become so soft?” “She’s my fucking sister, Arthur!” John pointed at you angrily, “And I’m not having some bastard take advantage of her because she feels like she has to!” Arthur thought about this for a while and then suddenly nodded, “John’s right. Men tell lies. You remember that.”

The dimly lit kitchen was suddenly growing increasingly quiet and awkward, and you noticed how none of your brothers were willing to meet your eye anymore.

So you tried to wrap this up, “Good talk.” And you gave them all a warm smile, but they weren’t done. “Now, you kissed a boy,” Tommy stated and it wasn’t a question, “So I’m guessing you like him and he likes you.” “He better,” Arthur grumbled. “At some point, he might ask you to have sex with him,” Tommy elaborated, raising his eyebrows, “and you might want to.” “She won’t,” Arthur objected, but again, Tommy silenced him with a gesture. “Sex is not a bad thing,” he continued, “But you have to be ready.” “How will I know when I’m ready?” you asked. “When I tell you,” his quick reply came. But John side-eyed his older brother, “You’re going to tell her: alright, you can have sex now?” “That’s a bit bloody weird, Tom,” Arthur agreed. “Alright!” Tommy snapped, “It won’t be like that…” “Well, why don’t you try and explain, Arthur,” you smiled at him kindly.

“Right, I’m the oldest, I should fucking explain,” he stood up suddenly and started pacing the room nervously, “Men have a certain… between their legs… a thing.” “A penis,” Polly filled in from the background. “Yes,” Arthur said, glad that he didn’t have to say it to his sister, “And women have a different thing,” “Say the fucking words, Arthur!” Ada sighed, “A vagina. God knows you’re not that unfamiliar with it…”

“So when they get together,” Arthur was now frantically rubbing his hands together and rearranging his hair to the point of birds nest on his head, ”The man goes into the woman.” “Because it feels fucking glorious,” John nodded in earnest. Arthur paused for a second and continued; “Now when they do that, it could result in the woman getting pregnant. Which is what sex is really for.” Internally, you were fighting yourself to stop yourself from dying, “Just like that?” “Well, no,” Arthur looked at his brothers for help, but none came, “When a man gets very…happy… during it, he… fuck, Tom, help me out here.” Tommy took a long drag on his cigarette and said, “It’s called semen and once it’s in a woman, it can make a baby.”

“Like with horses?” you suggested sarcastically. “Yes, just like the horses.” “And this happens when a man gets happy?” John suddenly interjected, “Woman can get like that too!” Tommy smirked at his younger brother for a second, but his posture remained unmoving.

And John grinned back at him, “And it’s fucking magnificent,” but then he looked at his sister again, “But only if you’re married. Like me.”

“To become a mum,” you repeated his words again. “Yeah,” he said, “so you need to be ready to become a mum or else you can’t have sex.” “What about the man?” you retorted, “Can he only have sex when he’s ready to become a father?” Again, Tommy sighed, “Both the man and the woman are responsible for the consequences of sex, yes.” So you turned to him, “Areyou ready to become a father?” But Tommy threw his head back and didn’t reply. “There are ways of preventing it from happening,” Arthur said, in another vague attempt.

“Like what.” “One could…”John searched for the words, “Leave early, so to speak.” In the background, Ada choked on her tea. “Let’s recap, shall we?” you urged, because this was going nowhere. “Don’t so anything you don’t want to,” John said quickly, “and there’s no need to put anything in your mouth, unless you want to.”

“For fuck’s sake, John,” Arthur practically screamed, “Y/N, listen, you’re still a child, so just wait. There’s no hurry whatsoever, right? Just, know that men will want this. All the time.” “Now, if you have anymore questions,” Tommy started in his voice he usually reserved for business.

“…I’ll ask Pol.” Tommy stubbed out his cigarette and eventually stood up, “That’s probably best.” When the three brothers walked away, fleeing the scene, you heard John whisper, “I think that went well! We did the brotherly thing, right?” And Arthur replied with, “I’m never ever fucking doing that again…” Tommy just lit his 84th cigarette in silence, his mind back on horses. One thing was certain: this had been far more painful for then than it was for you. Imagine, them thinking you didn’t yet know this! You were a fucking Shelby, for fucks sake. You knew fucking.

After the boys had left again in the most awkward manner, you turned to your sister and aunt. Both had mirth practically spilling from their eyes. “Think it might be best if I not tell them…” you said. Aunt Polly said, still wiping the tears from her face, “Tell them what?” You pointed at your neck and the mark that had started all of this,

“The name of the girl who gave me this.”

***

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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Tommy Shelby + not giving a fuck about the possibility of being shot

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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Guarded | Preferences | peaky boys

••• how they’d react to you having many rather affectionate friends •••

🧚🏾‍♂️ a/n : also i’m sorry lol as you can see i got carried away with John’s story.

••• John •••

• He’d hate it so much.

• John loved absolutely every single piece of you but if there was one thing he didn’t was how many male friends you had. How you’d let them sometimes touch you in a way John found inappropriate.

• Even though he knew how loyal you were to him, a part of him couldn’t help but to doubt and worry. Worry that one day, a smile you’d give a friend would hold more than friendship in it.

• He also hated how close your friends were, how they hugged you a bit too long to his taste, how they made you laugh in a way only he would usually. As he often repeated you, "I’m a man, y/n. I know what goes through a man’s head." He knew how annoying it sounded for you to hear but he couldn’t help.

• It would often end in an argument because both of you were stubborn. John was just convinced that some of your friends wanted more than a friendship and that you were just too "fucking blind and naive" to notice meanwhile nothing you could ever say could make him think otherwise.

• Sometimes you’d have to grab him by the collar and kiss him hard to make him "finally shut up, for God’s sake" and others, you’d storm upstairs, shouting about how stupid he sounded and how much of a prick he was while he’d grab his coat, about to leave the house to get some air.

• After a night at the Garrison spent complaining to his brothers about how naive you were, John would come back home, a bit drunk. Remembering his brother’s words "But you love her, John. You love her. So go on, go home and tell her ‘cause if you keep going about the matter like you do, she’ll pass you by.", John would have a bit of trouble making his way to the door and even a bit more to pass the key through the lock.

• He’d be taking his shoes and coat off, about to climb the stairs in hope to find you peacefully sleeping when he’d jump slightly at the sound of your voice, "It’s almost 3 in the morning."

• He’d turn around to meet your judgmental gaze and would automatically give up on lying, "I know, I was at the pub with the boys."

• "Good," you’d state as you’d close your book and make a few steps towards the stairs but John would place himself in front of you, face tilted to the side. "Babe."

• "What," you’d ask coldly but still, curious to hear what he’d say this time. His hands would find their way to your hips, pulling you close and he remained silence for a moment. "I’m not asking you to get rid of your friends. All I want is for you to understand that I don’t like how close you are to them," he’d start but would stop when he’d understand that he had a poor choice of words given the look you were giving him. "Well, how close they are to you. I don’t like that. I don’t like when they touch you for too long because I’m the one supposed to do it. I’m the one supposed to make you laugh till you cry, eh? It’s my job. All I’m asking for is some distance between you and them, can I have that?", he’d ask with a tired voice and you could tell that he was exhausted and only wanted to fall asleep but that he was making efforts and actually trying to talk things out.

• So, you cupped his face with a hand, the other on his torso, "Yes you can have that, Shelby. But, you’ll have to touch me twice more often if you say that you’re the only one allowed to." As those words left your lips, his eyes lit up for a second and he leaned in to leave a lazy but loving kiss on your lips. "Trust me, I will. - Tomorrow." You chuckled along with him and took his arm to place it above your shoulder to help his tired body walk up the stairs and get to bed.

••• Tommy •••

• Tommy trusted you. He knew how loyal you were to him so he wouldn’t usually mind.

• Knowing how much you hated it when he’d cause a scene, he learned to only make his point with his eyes. When he’d judge one of your friend to be rather too ‘affectionate', he’d show up, grab you by the waist and just stare at the guy. Him offering his hand saying "Thomas Shelby, and you are?" would be enough for your friend to make up rushed excuses to disappear which would never fail to amuse him.

• During parties in which he knew some of your friends were invited, he would greet them with a firm hand and leave a kiss on your forehead while looking straight in their eyes, "Have fun, doll."

• Then, he’d spend the night with his own, sitting at the other side of the room as he’d discuss business, plans, and sometimes joke while enjoying a good bottle of whisky. Though, he’d sometimes look for you through the crowd to make sure that no one would bother you.

• Sometimes you were the one missing him and would come find him. He’d gently tap his lap as an invite and you’d finish the party close to him, as a few promising words would be whispered in your ear and the night would end back in your bed, in a steamy, passionate and loving exchange.

••• Arthur •••

• Jealousy was one of Arthur’s worst demons. It was difficult for him to control it, even more when it’d mix with his fear of abandonment. Arthur would often doubt himself and your love for him despite the countless times you had reassured him about it and proved how dear he was to you.

• When the both of you were spending the night at a pub or a party and that some friends would show up, Arthur’s smile would fade. If he was already standing next to you at the time then he’d get closer and hold your waist a bit tighter.

• If he was sitting with his brothers across the room enjoying a drink, his expression would turn into a frown and his glass would start shaking slightly, alarming Tommy.

• Thomas would call his name once, twice. Arthur wouldn’t react, now deaf as his jealousy would make him more and more insecure by the second.

• "Arthur relax, she’s all yours, she’s not going anywhere." Arthur would blink, slowly coming back to his senses before looking at his brother. "She’s always been loyal to you so trust your woman, eh?"

• He would then quickly nod and sit back comfortably in his chair but would still glance at you one last time before coming back into the current conversation.

• From time to time, you’d pass by the table to circle his torso with your hand and leave a kiss on his cheek, all under Tommy’s reassuring and warm smile.

••• Michael •••

• Michael wouldn’t like seeing any other male being close to you. At all.

• At the beginning of your relationship, Michael would still be too insecure to say anything and instead would wait for you to notice and come reassure him. But, as he grew older and the both of you closer, he wasn’t hesitant at all anymore about making you understand that he wasn’t playing.

• It would make him so mad he’d be unable to focus on anything else. He’d need to excuse himself in order to come find you and bring you close to him and protect but also show what he considered to be his only.

• Between two laughs and a rather friendly touch, you’d feel a strong hand grabbing your arm surprisingly gently. A few seconds later, you’d find yourself in a way less crowded part of the room and Michael standing in front of you, jaw clenched as well as his fists.

• You’d give him a confused look only for him to look at you and quickly glance at your confused friends. "There. What was that?"

"What are you talking about, Michael?"

He’d look at you, offended for a second, thinking that you were taking him for a fool. "Them touching you? You not doing anything about it?"

That’s when you’d understand that your man was being jealous. Amused, a smile would form on your lips but this would only make him even more mad. Michael would get closer to you, breathing a bit louder, "Is it funny to you? You think doing this to me is a game?"

Though, his tone changed throughout the sentence and a bit of sadness could be heard in his voice which is when you weren’t so amused by his little act anymore. Instead, you gently cupped his cheek with a hand in which he leaned in. "I’m sorry it made you upset, Michael, I’ll pay more attention next time," you apologized as your thumb touched his lower lip, making him crack a smile. "Thank you, sweetheart. I’m sorry but I had to let you know, I’m no fan of this kind of show," he’d state before grabbing your face with both hands to kiss the top of your head before letting you go again, not without a light smack on your ass.

• When things like this would happen, you’d be sure that sex would be way more passionate. Michael would leave marks, kiss and touch a bit longer and often mumble "Mine." against your skin.

🧚🏾‍♂️There, I finally posted something and i hope you all like it :) REQUESTS ARE OPEN FOR NOW.

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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Peaky Blinders // My favorite shots from every episode

Season 2 Episode 1

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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omgg JJ and the Shelbys, totally

My type are guys with daddy issues

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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i miss my man so fucking much

Thought about John Shelby’s smile again. Oh fuckkkkkkkkkkk

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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Finn: *sitting with michael and isiah* girls might be about to notice us for who we truly are!

John: *from across the garrison* well you're fucked then, because you're a twat!

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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could I maybe request #75 from the hate prompt list with John Shelby? my boyfriend of four years broke up with me just two weeks ago and idk what to do with myself because I can't even really go outside ): and having something amazing written by you would make my day! 🥺

“An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”

It was unladylike like to be acting the way you were and you knew it. But the thing was, you had gone past the point of caring.

Champagne bottles sat littering the table in The Garrison which you and your friends had been sitting at for the best part of the day, Harry too worried what John would say if he tried to move you on. He hadn’t even questioned why you were drinking so much. Surely he thought that you were celebrating something with the amount of bubbly that you had consumed. Surely it never could have crossed your mind that you were so outrageously angry at your boyfriend that you had done the only thing that you could when you didn’t have a car to drive to his estate; make a scene.

It was 6pm when he sauntered through the stained glass doors, Tommys eyes meeting your own first and although those blue orbs had once intoxicated you, you only felt fury as they rolled and looked away, leaving his younger brother to deal with what he so clearly saw as a mess.

John was last in the door, another woman on his arm, a cigar smoking between two fingers of the hand on his other, and your friends fell silent as he went to the bar to order a bottle of whiskey for him and who he called “his lady”.

It wasn’t until you had stood up and Harrys eyes had darted to you that he even realised you were there. Whiskey flowing at the betting shop leaving him drunk and slow, and he looked between you and the woman who was sitting behind him before the realisation dawned on his face.

“Did you think I didn’t know?” You were the first to break the silence - The Garrison falling into a lull as a woman (of all people) looked to be squaring up to the hot head of the Shelby clan.

“Know what?” Was his response, his body moving in an attempt to disguise the woman, one of your friends actively scoffing at his actions. He sighed as he looked between the two of you, moving closer to you and reaching for your hand. But you ripped it away before you could even feel his touch, knowing that he would some how be able to talk his way out of this, that if you let him close to you he would win you round even when he had so obviously no respect for you.

“Listen love, I didn’t expect you to be here.. I just wanted to come for a nice drink and..”

“Oh I’m sorry to interrupt your drink with your new whore. It must me a huge inconvenience and a shock that I’m drinking in the pub at the end of my street. You couldn’t even take her somewhere else?”

His hand gripped your arm as he dragged you out of The Garrison, backing you against a wall and pinning you there.

“Listen girl, there’s things going on here that you don’t know about. Now fucking go home and I’ll talk to ya about this when its over alright?”

“No it’s not fucking alright, John!” You spat, pushing at his shoulders but the action only made him move closer, his strength showing as he grabbed your face and forced you to look at him.

“Alright.. what if I offer you an apology aye? I’m sorry.. I’m sorry that this is going on. It’s just business and it means nothing. It will be over when this night is over alright?”

“An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”

And with that, his eyes and his body softened, the thought of actually upsetting you finally sinking in and you managed to push past him.

“And don’t even think about coming to see me. This is done.”

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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‘John! Lizzie Stark’s a strong woman, and I’m sure she provides a fine service for her customers.’

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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A family reunited

Summary: Shelby family dinners always bring some drama with them…but none of the brothers expected their sister, Y/N, to join them. After all, she had been missing for 5 years.

Word Count: 3147

A/N: First time writing a fic with a word count over 3000, baby!!! All of the brothers are actually in this but, let’s be honest, Tommy always gets more attention in my writing than anyone else. Let me know what you think of this one, and enjoy!

Sometimes you can be better off not knowing the truth. Because the knowing the truth can make your worst nightmares an inescapable reality. A reality that can bring everything crashing down around you.

And that’s how the Shelby clan felt about knowing the fate of their sister, Y/N.

Keep reading

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

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my first JJ fic!! give me some love there too

only like, if you want to!!❤️

Still want you - JJ MAYBANK X READER

hello loves

you can call me Den and this is my first JJ Maybank fic and god how much i enjoyed to write it!!i hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

also i got inspired to write this by the song named “Still want you” by ZHU. I think the lyrics really match JJ in the show as well and i love it

i really wanna hear your true opinion on it or you can send me requests because i will def write them as soon as i can!!

“I should be so hurt

‘Cause your rejection is so obvious…”

You walk down the beach, waching the big waves and John B and JJ riding them with laughs imprinted on their stupid faces you love so much. Kie and Sarah are there as well, standing on the hot sand with their swimsuit on, so as you approach them you take off your shirt and short pants, doing the same with your pair of black Vans. You glared at your boyfriend, but he seemed like he didn’t was aware of your presence yet. He was laughing, standing on the surf board and getting lost into the wave, his wet blonde hair a mess on his head. You were staring, but you just couldn’t help yourself. After a year of friendship and three months of relationship, he still have the power to leave you speechless with how amazing he is.

“Stop drolling, [Y/N]” Kie says laughing and you and Sarah imediatelly laugh with her, you having a bashful smile on your pink lips as you pull a piece of hair behind your ear. You falled really damn hard for JJ Maybank.

While you were talking with the girls about the turtles and saving them after the hurricane from three days ago, John B and JJ got out of the water and approached you. But you frown in surprise and confusion as you send JJ a big ass smile, excited to finally have his presence next to you and he only wave at you, walking right into the Chateau.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sarah asked with a frown and you don’t know what to say. You just let your fingers into sand and looked away from their glares.

“I wish I would know too..”

“John B?” Kie says with a raising eyebrow, looking at the boy who was surprisingly silent.

He just shrug while he pull Sarah closer to his wet body.

“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t know anything.”

You didn’t really trusted him, but you tried to ignore the know that is growing inside your stomach.

“Probably just a JJ mood. He will come around, don’t worry [Y/N].”

But how could you? How could you not worry about JJ when that’s your job? Taking care of his impulsive ass.

“Damn, someone pissed in JJ’s bong?” Pope asked with a frown as he approached you. He was just walking out of the Chateau and JJ didn’t even saw him, almost catching him between the door and the wall.

“And I feel stupid and I cry

And I cry and I cry and I cry…”

Days later, JJ mood became something more than that. He was avoiding you and you know it. The pogues keep telling you to have no worries, that this is something he always does and it was true. He has days once in a while when he get really moody and with a shorter temper than usual, but he was never cold and indifferent. He was still your funny and warm JJ, but just a little more angry wich always excited you, especially when you were alone. But now it was different and you just couldn’t stay like this anymore. The knot in your stomach is so big now that you have breathing issues everytime you see him leaving the Chateau as soon as you walk in.

But today you gonna talk. You didn’t care, not even if another hurricane was coming.

The Pogues were out on a double date, which should involve you and JJ too, but apparently you don’t act like a couple anymore. You guess that was his way of telling you fuck off, but it hurt even more than actually hearing it from him.

“Do we have any food left?” He ask as he walks into the Chateau, thinking that he’s talking with John B.

“Yea, some cold pizza.” You say with a stern voice and you put your arms at your chest, watching him. You couldn’t read the feeling that was on his face when he saw you, but clearly it wasn’t happiness. He puffed and turned around to walk out, you stopping hi by grabbing his grab.

“JJ, what the fuck are you doing? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No, you’re pretty smart actually.” He simply says and shrug and walk into the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking for that pizza you were talking about.

You couldn’t believe how ignorat he was. It drives you insane, but you tried your best to remain calm.

“Why are you treating me like shit?”

“I’m not, that’s who I am. The door is right there if you don’t like it, princess.”

You shut your eyes and look at him, falling apart on the inside as you still tried to look calm on the outside. He wasn’t seeing your face as he was still turned to the fridge, but you’re sure that he knows what he’s doing to you right now. Calling you “princess” wasn’t a compliment or a joke as he used to. It was a insult. Reminding you that you are not one of them and you will never be.

“What? JJ…What the fuck? Why-Why are you doing this to me?” You don’t even try to hide your tears as it filled your eyes, blurring your vision of him when he turned to you.

“Don’t start with emotional shits now, okay? How long have we been together anyway? 3 weeks? Not a big deal.” He grabbed a beer instead of any food and walked past you, but you move in front of him, not letting him go away from your again.

“Stop fucking lying and acting like this! This is not you, J…You love me and I know it. This is not you, baby. Just talk to me…” Your voice crack while you screamed with tears wetting your cheeks and chin. You realizing that he’s lying to you because he was always excited to remaind you how long you made it together. And hearing that it wasn’t a big deal when you give him your virginity, broke your heart in your chest in tiny pieces that stabbed your lungs, your everything, ripping you apart on the inside.

You gasp for air, not able to control yourself anymore and he throws the beer can into the door, spilling it everywhere. His whole body was tensed, his jawline and fists clenched. This was the most of emotions he had show to you in the last week.

“You’re just a kook, a spoiled daddy’s girl, how can you truly know who I am? You don’t know shit about me and my life, [Y/N]” He screams in your face and you’re whole body is shacking in pain, but you don’t take any step back. You’re stunned.

“Cause you’re not tellin me shit, JJ! You’re not telling me anything and you fucking expect me to understand you. I may not be one of you and you will never find enough in me, but I’m trying my best for fucks sake! How can I do that when I don’t even….”

You shut your mouth, watching his face as you wipped your tears away. Inside of him there was a storm that was ripping apart every piece of him because of hurting you right now. But he just can’t help it. People always leave and especially when you are rich as fuck and you have a lot more opportunites than a stupid Pogue. Why woudl you stay? For what?

“You don’t even what?” He asks with a lower voice and you let out another sob, glaring right into his blue icy eyes as you talk.

“Maybe you’re true. Maybe I don’t know how you are at all.”

“Yea” He just nods his head and his wet eyes followed your body as you walked out of the Chateau, your hand covering your mouth to shut down the scream that you need to let it out.

You got into your car and you let your head on the steering wheel as you cry in silence, hearing the waves and the loud rock music that was coming from the Chateau.

How could you be this stupid? You really did believe that things will work out for you, you got along so well and you put your whole heart on the table. For him to just throw the fucking table away.

“But then I tell myself that it will be okay

But it’s not true, I still want you…”

You forgot how going out felt like.

After almost a month of not leaving your house at all, you finally accepted to go to the beach party this night. But you didn’t wanted to go with Kie and Sarah since you know they will hang out with JJ as well, so you just went with the Kooks, some of your girl friends from high school.

You keeping telling yourself that you will be again to see him again. That you have to show him how okay you are after he broke your stupid heart. But finally seeing him at the bonfire got you off guards and your eyes became wet. You can feel his glare on yours and when you finally have the courage to make eye contact with him, you need all the strength you find in yourself to keep calm.

He looked just as bad as you, but he was still breathtaking handsome. Even with dark circle around his eyes, a little beard growing and bloodshot tired eyes. He wasn’t joking or laughing with the others, he wasn’t flirting with the Tourons around him. He wasn’t JJ and you weren’t yourself. You couldn’t be without each other and when he sent you a little sad smile you know he realized it too.

It’s weird that after breaking your heart and calling you out without even a damn reason, you still find yourself wanting him. Your body and your heart still ache for him and his touch.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking about

All the things that we’ve been through

Lately, I regret all the fucked up

Things that I’ve put you through…”

You got up from Jessica to go to fill your cup again. Drinking makes you feel a little better and this month you really took advantage of that, drowing the memories and feelings with fancy wines and champagnes, not even trying to hide that from your father.

You almost scream when a firmly hand is placed on your mouth and pull you more into the woods. You know who this is without turning around.

“You scared the shit outta me…Stop doing that” You talk like you were cool again and you both realized that, your uncomfortable smiles showing it. He scratch the back of his neck as he put a few meters between you two. You felt like right into your heart, but he was just doing it because he know that he’s not really able to control himself around you.

“How are you?” He asks and you roll your eyes.

“This is what we gonna have now? Small talks?”

“I just wanna know if you are doing well, [Y/N].”

You want to say yes. But he raise his eyebrows at you, watching you with his clear eyes. Their color is darker now because the weak light only coming from the moon, but you his features way too well. You used to admire and analyze them every morning when you woke up first on the couch at the Chateau. That quickly became JJ’s room and them you and JJ’s room. You didn’t have much, but you were beyond happy.

“No, J. I’m not.”

“Lately, I regret all the fucked up

Things that I’ve put you throug…”

He is looking like he’s thinking really hard at something and you let him time. You both remaining quiet for some moments, still hearing music, laughs and screams from the beach party.

“[Y/N] I’m sorry for everything I said to you. I had to. But…I-I don’t think I can go on without you there, princess.”

You shut your eyes at the nickname. He used it again and this time it wasn’t a insult like the last time.

“Why-Why did you do it?”

He hesitated, but you’re wet eyes are locking on his and he know that he can’t get away with it anymore.

“Your father talked to me. He told me that if I keep the relationship with you, you won’t be going to college. That he will get you out in the street.” You can see the pain on his face as your own changed from the pain of hearing that.

Your own father did that…

You thought about ending your life and all because your father.

You let out a loud sob as you ran into his strong warm arms, him quickly grabbing you. He’s holding your face at the crook of your neck as you keep crying and screaming that you can’t believe that.

“I couldn’t destroy your future. You wanna go to the college. I don’t-…I can’t ruin that for you.”

You bit on your lip as you tears fall on the hot skin on his neck. You close your eyes, slowly being calmed down by his presence, by the warmth of his body and his touches on your skin. You lift your head and he lean his head closer to yours, your foreheads pressed together as you whispered with your eyes now open and partially dry.

“I guess you would have a rommate at the Chateau. If that’s okay…”

“W-what?”

“Still tryna learn to be personal

Still uncomfortable being me

Still tryna learn to be vulnerable…”

“Yea, if that’s okay…You’re more important than a stupid college, JJ.”

His warms wrap around your waist, keeping you close to him and locking your eyes together. You gently touch his dark circle with the tip of your fingers and you slowly and softly kiss them, your hands running through his hair.

“I don’t wanna ruin your future, [Y/N]..Mine is ruined. If I would do that to yours, I wouldn’t be able to ever forget myself.”

“You won’t, baby”, stop saying that. What if-What if I will work at The Wreck? Kie won’t mind that.“

He looked away for a short moments and then softly kiss the top of your freckled nose.

"We will see that, sweet thing.” A smile is slowly playing on his plump lips and you want so bad to kiss him right now, but there’s still want thing.

“But you have to talk to me, JJ. We-…We can’t have a relationship when we aren’t open up to each other.”

“I hate being-…Being vulnerable and emotional.”

You whisper “i know” but you can keep your smile for yourself. You look at him with pure adoration and love.

“But I swear I will try for you.”

Your heart and legs melt at his words and you pull him to your lips and he talk again, barely touching your lips with his.

“I would give you all I have, [Y/N]. All just to see you happy.”

You bring him into the kiss, your tongue quickly meeting his and as you slowly tested each other, the knot in your stomach is long gone. You smile into the kiss because you know that he would really do anything for you happiness and he just proved that by breaking his own hurt to hurt you.

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