jon-burnford

[jon-burnford]

Well aren't you just charming, I suppose. Looks like you're not getting an invite to the hidey hole.

Oh, well then. Don't let me stop the party.

Is it over? Can I come out now?

[jon-burnford]

You're manly?! The only reason I know you're even a man is your refusal to shave. You're gonna end up looking like a hobbit soon enough there, old man.

Is it over? Can I come out now?

Ye only say tha’ cause yer probably use tae them feminine lookin’ elves from yer lord of th’ Rings an’ Hobbit movies. Ah will hav’ ye know Aam a manly lookin’ elf.

#=SCREEEEECH=

[jon-burnford]

Whatever. I just don't like Christmas that much...

Safe from what?

Is it over? Can I come out now?

[jon-burnford]

Naya!

Is it over? Can I come out now?

Rawr! Stitch, there you are!

[jon-burnford]

I'm not a Christmas gnome so it's easier to just...like...hide out?

Are you one of those Christmas people?

Is it over? Can I come out now?

#roger what the hell

[jon-burnford]

Holidays, families, people. I'm not exactly a Christmas gnome

Is it over? Can I come out now?

#oh you good

[jon-burnford]

...Christmas? Holidays? Boxing Day?

take your pick dude

Is it over? Can I come out now?

#-lick-

[jon-burnford]

Well you're the scariest elf I've come across yet.

Is it over? Can I come out now?

Wha’ th’ matter lad, are you afraid of elfs an’ pine trees?

#-SCREEEEEECH- #RORYYYYYYYY

[jon-burnford]

Is it over? Can I come out now?

[jon-burnford]

I think they shouldn't acknowledge their kids at all if they don't care, makes it easier for us to not care at all. Keeping that little flicker of hope isn't fair. It's just selfish of your family.

Look, a lovely Christmas card from the family.

I still think it was only after my brother convinced them. I suppose you’re right. You’d think they’d acknowledge their child better.

[jon-burnford]

Yeah, you got some imagination, Barks. And an obsession with spongebob. Holy fuck no, I wasn't anywhere near the fucking things. I was just in the park, and I think maybe I was by where they were but I dunno. Musicals are not fun, they're just weird.

There's a snake in my boot!

It’s too bad when one says the word imagination a rainbow doesn’t appear like in spongebob. Well that certainly explains the straw then, hold on were you riding horses? Or just checking out those who were? Hey musicals are fun! Plus the scarecrow’s the funny one.

[jon-burnford]

Hey, at least they sent a card. That has to mean something, maybe not something big but somethin'

Look, a lovely Christmas card from the family.

There’s no better way to passive-aggressively remember you have a second son — or first, by birth order, through completely unfeeling cards.

[jon-burnford]

You're so fucking weird. I'm fine, just hangin'...you know, like we monkeys tend to do. How's it Lil?

There's a snake in my boot!

It knows what it did. How are….sorry, big yawn there…how are you Stitches?

[jon-burnford]

Well, it is the holidays. That favorite time of year to rub christmas joy in your face through passive aggressive acts

Look, a lovely Christmas card from the family.

It’s a card, actually. 

However, we both know that’s not what I was referencing.

[jon-burnford]

A sign? Looks more like a note.

Look, a lovely Christmas card from the family.

To: Son

From: The Family.

No note. Not even being addressed properly. Merry Christmas.

Well, that’s a sign.

#eh why not

[jon-burnford]

You have a big imagination, Barks. Um...not to my knowledge but i was downtown at the park and you know they have those horses you can ride there. Yeah, right, like I look like one of those singing, dancing idiots.

There's a snake in my boot!

What were you doing that you had straws in your shoes? Were you out near some farm or stables or something? Wait were you auditioning for the scarecrow in the Wizard of OZ?

[jon-burnford]

See, that's what I thought. But snakes can get pretty damn small though. A little old garter snake might be big enough.

There's a snake in my boot!