watching atla for the first time
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batfam au where bruce is just purely Brucie Wayne, and all his kids are secretly vigilantes (he is utterly clueless)
After he adopts dick
Dick: *trying to sneak out the window*
Brucie: “Dick my son, where are you off to on this glorious evening”
Dick: “erm. a party.”
Brucie: “have fun I hope you ‘slay’ 🥳
Dick “haha.. yeah” *jumps out the window*
—
Jason-
Jason: *also trying to sneak out the window*
Brucie: “Are you also a party-boy like your brother?”
Jason: “No Im going to go beat people up”
Brucie: “So youve gotten your brothers sense of humor ^v^”
—
Tim-
Brucie: “Tim why do you never get any sleep?? I’m worried”
Tim: “I’m. Studying for AP exams.”
Brucie: “still you need to sleep :(”
*tims watch buzzes*
Tim: “Haha!!! I need to. go study with Dick and Jason now. bye Bruce”
Brucie: “At this point I’d rather you constantly going out to parties like they did”
—
Damian-
Brucie: “Dick I cannot believe you have been taking your 8 year old brother out until god knows when?????”
Damian: “Father we ar-“
Dick: “YES BRUCE IM SORRY FOR BEING SO IRRESPONSIBLE AND LETTING A CHILD GO OUT AT NIGHT. NO REASON A CHILD SHOULD BE GOING OUTSIDE.”
—
Brucie: “Alfred I feel like my kids are keeping a secret from me…”
*moment of silence*
Brucie: “No theyd never keep anything from me. my darling children.”
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Batman by Riccardo Federici
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tfw you have to read a terrible romance novel as part of your vigilante duties
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Petition to DC to add the little bat ears to the speech bubble everytime someone imitates Batman
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Jason: You decided to ask relationship advice from BRUCE?!
Tim: I WAS PANICKING OKAY JASON LISTEN---
Jason: THE ONE GUY WHO'S NEVER BEEN IN A STABLE RELATIONSHIP? THE GUY WHO HAD A BABY WITH FREAKING TALIA AL GHUL? THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF COMMITMENT ISSUES AND BAD COMMUNICATION? YOU ASKED HIM FOR RELATIONSHIP---
Tim: YES ON HINDSIGHT I CAN SEE I MADE A BAD DECISION OKAY I WAS PANICKING ALRIGHT BERNARD THINKS I'M GONNA BREAK-UP WITH HIM AND NOW HE WANTS TO "TALK" I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO I JUST---
Jason: PHONED ME?! FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE?!!-
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It’s Normal to Have a Cow in Your House
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words that we couldn’t say
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My type in men is dramatic 30 year olds
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