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Geralt of Rivia from the books

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How does it feel to be alive?

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okay but i cannot get over how funny it is. imagine if the Russians launched bombs back in the 60s and fucking John Wayne survived, 200-some years later he's still kicking and has become an actual gotdang cowboy like a real force to be reckoned with, a real wasteland legend. imagine you're a prewar ghoul somewhere else in the country and you hear about this. "John Wayne survived? The John Wayne from the movies? That John Wayne? You're kidding, he– no. No he is not a cowboy. No he's not going around dressed up like an honest to god– they didn't even– that's just for tv! WAIT AND HE'S GOOD AT IT? YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME SAY PSYCH RIGHT NOW I CANT–"

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“Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.” so true, babe, so fucking true.

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Geralt: Oh roach, I screwed up my friendship with jaskier, I sent him away. Why do I ruin everything I touch?

Roach: You self sabatoge because it allows you to predict the outcome of events. It gives you a false illusion of control over your destiny. Furthermore you are afraid that allowing the colorful foal to love you will make you happy and you don't know how to handle that because you are so emotionally constipated that youre a literal shit head

Geralt: 0.0

Roach: I mean... *neigh*

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at some point in life you realize the best way to solve a love triangle is to make them polyamorous and you never look back

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Harvey being the "Who hurt you" to Mike's babygirl will always have my heart

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Castiel relaxing in the early morning hours, right when the sun comes up over the horizon. He likes watching humans from up there :D

[my social media links]

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ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

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Concept: A gender reveal party but AFTER the kid is born.

Like when the kid is 6 or 12 or 18 or 24. When the kid has decided what their gender is or isn’t.

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This goes for what’s happening in Congo as well.

If you can’t even do something as simple as boycott some over priced coffee, you’re definitely not my type of person.

just learned that a mutual of mine is pro israel (they’re now blocked) so i wanted to take the time to say that if you believe what’s happening in palestine is not a genocide than you are not welcome here. unfollow me block me whatever i don’t want you interacting with me at all

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Swordsmanship class

Geralt teaching Sword fight to Jaskier.

Jaskier was pretty good student than Geralt thought, but he was a dirty player beyond that.

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Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

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dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak