justaflipfloppingpotato - Tumblr blog

justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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unfriendly reminder that bisexuality and pansexuality are different and they are both valid. please go away if you don’t support people of either of these sexualities

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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Anyways pansexual is a valid identity and anyone who disagrees can piss off

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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Identifying as bisexual because you're attracted to people of all genders, but gender still plays a role in your attraction = good

Identifying as bisexual because you're attracted to people of two or more genders, but not all = good

Identifying as bisexual because you're attracted to the same gender as you, plus one or more other genders = good

Identifying as bisexual because you're attracted to some genders, but not all, and gender still plays a role in your attraction = good

Identifying as bisexual because it's the one people know = good

Identifying as bisexual because you like the term = good

Identifying as bisexual because you like the flag = good

Identifying as pansexual because gender plays no role in your attraction = good

Identifying as pansexual because you're attracted to all genders = good

Identifying as pansexual because you like the term = good

Identifying as pansexual because you like the flag = good

Identifying as polysexual because you're attracted to multiple genders, but not all, but otherwise gender plays no role in your attraction = good

Identifying as polysexual because you're attracted to multiple genders, but not your own = good

Identifying as polysexual because you want to be able to say you're polysexual and polyamorous = good

Identifying as polysexual because you like the term = good

Identifying as polysexual because you like the flag = good

Identifying as omnisexual because you're attracted to all genders, but gender still plays a role in your attraction = good

Identifying as omnisexual because you like the term = good

Identifying as omnisexual because you like the flag = good

Identifying as queer because you don't feel the need to specifically describe your attraction, or because you aren't sure = good

Identifying as queer because your specific attraction isn't anyone else's business = good

Identifying as queer because you like the term = good

Identifying as queer because you like the flag = good

Identifying as bisexual because "bisexuality means attraction to men and women" = bad, excludes non-binary people

Identifying as pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, or queer because "bisexuality excludes non-binary people" = bad, it doesn't

Identifying as bisexual because "other m-spec identities are just trying to be special" = bad, some people want to define their attraction more specifically and that's ok

Identifying as pansexual because you're into "hearts, not parts" = bad, parts are not the same as genders, and sexual orientation describes attraction to genders, not genitalia

Identifying as bisexual or polysexual because "pansexuality and/or omnisexuality means attraction to every person" = bad, they describe the capacity to experience attraction to people of any gender

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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Dear bisexual butches and femmes,

I’m sorry that you’ve been done dirty like this!

I’m sorry that you’re treated as being too stupid to understand the terms you helped coin!

I’m sorry that your history was purposefully and successfully erased by biphobes!

I’m sorry that your identity is now considered a ‘discourse topic’!

I’m sorry that you’re being treated as ‘WLW lite’!

I’m sorry that radical feminists, both new and old, have done this to your community!

I’m sorry about everything coming together in such a way that your ability to use these terms are being attempted to be taken away from you. But know your history! Grip it like a sword, and continue on.

Know these words are ours to use, and educate others, and maybe we’ll be able to undo the damage done to our community so many years ago.

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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bisexual butches are handsome and bisexual femmes are lovely. you’re radiant and I love you all 💗💜💙

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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those unnecessary “bi alternatives to butch/femme” are already awful for a bunch of reasons, but the male versions??? “knight, mage, druid”??? having to call yourself an animal is bad for other reasons but those are like… things that humans can be… that already have other, commonly used meanings…..

if i guy says “oh yeah i’d say i’m a mage” you’d think he was either talking about DND or saying he practiced magic in real life. you obviously wouldn’t go “ah yes, he’s saying he’s bisexual and dresses androgynously” !!! it’s ridiculous that anyone thinks that’s the kind of terminology bi ppl need in the first place, and it’s ridiculous that anyone thinks those kind of words in particular could serve that purpose even if we did need them.

stop ‘fixing’ issues that bi ppl don’t even have instead of addressing actual biphobia in LGBT spaces (such as writing us out of our own history like what happened with butch and femme lol)

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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I've been using Doe and Stag because I thought that it was better for bisexual people to have their own terms instead of borrowing the ones lesbians were using. I get that it's not wrong to use them but I always thought it was just bisexual people wanting to have their own terms since they've always been two separate identities.

well the funny thing is that the separation between women who were only attracted to other women and women who were attracted to women and other genders wasn’t really a point of focus until the rise of lesbian separatism and identity politics.

lesbian and sapphic were terms that mainly referred to women who slept with women and that was it. before lesbian and sapphic, “tribade” was the word of choice during the 1600s to the 1800s, and it came from the word “tribadism” which literally means scissoring, i.e. the sexual act. so tribade, lesbian, and sapphic weren’t really identities so much as they described women who had sex with and had relationships with other women. there was no distinction besides that.

the first time bisexual was used was in Charles Gilbert Chaddock’s translation of Psychopathia Sexualis which was one of the first books written on sexual pathology in the 1800s. before this, bisexual was usually used to mean hermaphroditic, usually in reference to plants. this was the first time the word was used in reference to people who were attracted to multiple genders. this wasn’t an identity yet. bi/lesbian women were always in a shared community and they organized and convened under “lesbian.” before the 60s, when studies were talking about lesbians, they usually meant all sapphic women. and of course when butch/femme started cropping up in gay bars circa the 50s and 60s, bi women were at those bars, in those spaces, using those words.

it wasn’t until monsters like sheila jeffreys and all the other cis white female lesbian separatists popped up in the 70s and coined the term “political lesbian,” i.e. women who don’t fuck or fuck with men. it was seen as necessary for women to only engage with women who have cut all their ties to male privilege. this included cutting out bi women (bc they fucked men), trans women (bc they were thought to still be men), queer women of color (bc of their activist work with men of color and their inability to exclude men from their politics), and a whole other slew of marginalized identities.

((and for a quick bit of irony: lesbian separatists often critiqued the use of femme/butch by lesbians as well because they felt it was a symbol of oppressive patriarchal standards and a way of replicating heterosexuality)).

so of course right around when the stonewall riots were going on, bi groups started appearing because they were effectively shut out of both gay and straight communities. LGB created the distinction between lesbians and bi people. and if you skip to now, whenever people do research on the history of lesbian identities, they read “lesbian” as “women who are only attracted to women” and assume that bi women are excluded from that history when in actual fact they were right smack in the middle of it the entire time. that’s where people on tumblr get mad at bi women for “co-opting lesbian terms” and “stealing from lesbian history.”

doe/stag were coined as a way to mirror femme/butch because bi women erroneously think that femme/butch are not part of their history. the fact that bi women feel the need to come up with/use doe/stag and steer away from butch/femme is the exact kind of thing TERFs and lesbian separatists wanted to accomplish in the first place. they wanted to treat bi women like traitors who would not relinquish their heterosexual privilege and thus posed a threat to lesbians everywhere (which, needless to say, is horse shit).

so all that to say, it’s not better for bi people to come up with their own terms because butch/femme were terms used by bi women since their inception. you don’t have to feel like you can’t use those words as if they’re not yours because they are yours and they are a part of your history. anyone who attempts to make bi women feel guilty or wrong for identifying as butch/femme are likely regurgitating TERFy rhetoric they’ve found floating around the internet without realizing it.

sources: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

EDIT: lol i totally forgot to source sheila jeffreys’ fabulous terf bs: [x]

EDIT (2): MORE sources on bisexual movements since people seem to be dead set on pegging me as a lesbophobic bi: [x] [x] [x]

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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Once Again time for a reminder that bi women have been iding as butch and femme since the creation of these terms and the only reason people think these terms are “lesbian exclusive” are:

the term “bisexual” was created decades AFTER the terms “butch” and “femme”, and for a while all wlw were called lesbians whether they also liked men or not. people who don’t know their history then look back and say “wow there were no women iding as butch bisexuals or femme bisexuals before the term bisexual was popularized, must be lesbian exclusive terms!”

biphobia in the form of assuming the experiences associated with being butch or femme cannot be experienced by bi woman, that somehow only lesbians can *really* love women

stop spreading biphobic bullshit. bi women can be butch and femme, are butch and femme, have ALWAYS been butch and femme. im a butch lesbian myself and i am telling you to stop driving a wedge between us and our bi sisters.

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 3 years

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