k-f-c-official

[k-f-c-official]

@france-unofficial is ur timeline the one where the name of paris france got changed to hugo france after victor hugo. if so my condolences.

You back to normal?

no since SOMEONE restarted my evil arc

yes :}

[k-f-c-official]

did you know… that if you don’t kudos/comment on fics… authors don’t know you read and enjoyed them…

[k-f-c-official]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[k-f-c-official]

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

[k-f-c-official]

[k-f-c-official]

imma be honest i read that n my brain went Raven Ebony (…) Way so. most ppl wont have that thought but. yeah.

Okaaaay guys so I cut down one name thanks to a friend on here who has trouble with 4. I also simplified thr last name I'm planning to keep my old name for business and writing purposes and use my new one privately, with banks, and with the government etc. Does anyone have any knowledge about dba or this sort of thing? I'm trying to get a free consult with a lawyer . . . that would also allow me to get my abusive parents off the paper that says they can make decisions for me if I'm unconscious.

Any last comments? Please reblog

[k-f-c-official]

social media has really warped our perception of creativity and hobbies. Stop doing things to post them. Just write. Just journal. Just sketch. Just read. Just annotate. Just sing. Just crochet. Just do the thing you’re going to do with the assumption no one will ever see or know you did it. Stop performing. Just enjoy it.

[k-f-c-official]

I don't think William Moseley gets enough credit for his portrayal of Peter in Prince Caspian. He perfectly embodied the concept of a seasoned warrior/adult king stuck in the body of a teenage boy and imo he has always deserved more praise for it. That could not have been an easy feat to pull off, especially considering he was barely into adulthood when they filmed the movie. Yet he came across as a boy who felt far older than he appeared with a wealth of life experience under his belt to back that up. Revisiting the film all these years later, I honestly think he gave the best performance out of the entire cast

[k-f-c-official]

this post hasn't left my mind since i've first saw it

[k-f-c-official]

in terms of self defense this is actually super important. as a short, petite woman im not going to be able to beat most men. i CAN outmaneuver and use their weight against them. sometimes raw strength is not the move its technique but u have to learn whcih techniques will help u first

Deeply concerned by the number of people (especially women) who genuinely believe that women and men have the same capacity for physical strength

and who think you’re being sexist if you point out that they don’t

ma’am the only one equating physical strength with innate value here is you

it’s concerning that you think strength has anything to do with value

and if the men in your life ever stop being decent you are setting yourself up to be in so much more danger

[k-f-c-official]

blocked

for my fellow solitaireheads

[k-f-c-official]

tagging:

@barnes-and-noble-official and anyone else!

Thank you @nadjem-mari for tagging me to do this quiz and this picrew! 💚

No pressure tagging @brekker-by-brekkerr, @aintinacage, @bouquet-of-wilting-violets, @beachesgetpeaches and @likea-black-widow-baby!

[k-f-c-official]

we’ve found him. we’ve found Georg

listen i'm usually above taking potshots at reborn baby dolls but the sound I made upon opening Facebook Marketplace and being met with this thing sent my cats flying across the house

[k-f-c-official]

ur not a solitaire player tho right

for my fellow solitaireheads

[k-f-c-official]

holy shit is this gorgeous.

[k-f-c-official]

Ancient Greek Punishment: UI Edition is an odd little experience that allows you to reenact the punishments bestowed by ancient Greek gods in UI form!

Read More & Play The Full Game, Free (Browser)

[k-f-c-official]