kaeyasfuturewife

[kaeyasfuturewife]

honey, can you… oh shit wait i forgot we’re not dating (yet)

© zhongrin | 2024 ✼  [✘] no repost・translations・plagiarism of any kind・ai data mining. [✓] rebloggers get a free cup of tea ♡

✼ characters ┈ zhongli, al haitham, wriothesley, neuvillette

✼ tags ┈ gn!reader, fluff, non-established relationship, potential secondhand embarrassment, boyfailure neuvillette (/aff)

✼ a/n ┈ zhongrin uploaded 3 weeks in a row?! madness!!! utter madness!!!! /silly i feel like i've been writing too much cutesy/sfw stuff lately.... i want to write 'darker' types of stuff but my brain doesn't seem to want to cooperate ugh pain

ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ) ✼ ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ)  ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)

zhongli watches your reaction closely, at first.

when he deduces that you were self-aware of your own oversight and are evidently panicking about it, he gives you a warm chuckle and shakes his head gently, “there is no need to apologize, and please do not feel mortified in any way. it really is fine.”

if you continue to not believe him, the ex-archon will be as patient as ever with his words of reassurances, and he does not mind repeating them until you feel comfortable enough to ask him the real errand that you wished to bestow upon him.

... but not before he gently places a hand to the small of your back to lead you to walk a little closer to him due to the increasing crowd on the streets, his voice a tender caress to your ear, “coming from you, i certainly did not mind the nickname.”

al haitham raises his eyebrows and shuts his book, “what a fascinating blunder. is that how you view our relationship subconsciously? or perhaps it’s an innate desire you’ve chosen to suppress but accidentally slipped out in a moment of unawareness?”

the scholar has the decency to wait for your answer betwixt your embarrassment, but he eventually sighs when you failed to form a coherent answer that satisfied his inquiries.

“you seem to have the impression that i am displeased at your err. i’d like to inform you that your assumption is yet another mistake - which, i would theorize, was made in the rush of the moment as your nervous system kicks into gear, therefore clouding your judgement. i would suggest you take a few moments to reanalyze my stance based on this new information. i’ll wait.”

and with that, he opens his book once more.

.... um.

congratulations, i guess?

wriothesley takes the opportunity and replies with a cheeky, “yes, honey? what can i do for you, sweetheart?”

he relishes in the utter embarrassment that quickly spread across your face that’s akin to water faced with his cryo elemental energy (though secretly he’s also dying inside at the cheesiness of the situation) and throws you a boyish grin before ruffling your hair.

not a man to let an opportunity escape, the duke decides to leverage the moment to take his metaphorical shot and goes immediately for a straight jab, like an experienced boxer that he is, all the while praying to the hydro archon so that this would be yet another match he could flawlessly win, “you know, my schedule’s particularly relaxed today… i wouldn’t mind staying longer if you want to make it a date?”

neuvillette blinks owlishly, his pale cheeks blooming with warmth as the situation starts to sink in. you, the apple of his eye, whom he treasured dearly and had taken great care to court, had just called him with a term of endearment that he had always dreamed of hearing.

wait, was this a dream? his gloved hands quickly found purchase on his blue horns, before he brought his hands in front of his eyes. okay, he had two horns and ten fingers, still. so he must not have daydreamed this. ah- wait, you’re staring at him. oh, now you’re giggling. and now you’re calling him silly. oh, it should be a crime to be so breathtakingー

it’s not until your expression changed into surprise that he realized he had said that thought outloud.

your teasing “if it’s a crime, are you going to put me on trial, monsieur?” elicits a darker blush on his pale cheeks and an awkward cough out of him.

.... this must be how the young ones flirt nowadays.

“perhaps after a proper date? if it’s not impertinent of me, may i be allowed to take you out on dinner tonight?”

✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ) ┈

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@beloved-brynn ! @malachitemischief101 ! @average-yandere-enjoyer

[kaeyasfuturewife]

I love how Stardew Valley stops you from giving you from giving people more than two gifts a week, because I like to think that it's the Farmer's weird sense of social etiquette talking.

Wanna give Jodi a single small egg then walk away without saying a word? Go head. Feel like reaching into your pocket, pulling out a fistful of tree sap, and slapping it in Lewis's hands? Be my guest. Entering without knocking? That's a must. But giving them more than two gifts a week? Hold your horses, buckaroo, do you want people to think you're some kind of weirdo? Wait until it's their birthday or you're married before you start engaging in freakish behavior like that.

[kaeyasfuturewife]

⊹₊ ⋆༄｡° jealous jealous jealous boy! (pt.1)

synopsis ; in which the jjk characters find themselves getting jealous over you !

requests are open!

summary ; fem!reader, fluff, crack !, slight suggestiveness

including ; gojo satoru , geto suguru

pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4 !!

gojo satoru

geto suguru

likes + reblogs r appreciated ! <3

🏷️taglist: @myguumi @sugojosgf @surenotbye @hiitsmebbygrl16 @fyodorisbbg @mulanism @catobsessedlady

sorry it took sooooo long but i told you it’s worth it ٩(๑>◡<๑)۶

[kaeyasfuturewife]

When you're just trying to make some goddamn soup but Elliott wants to have sex in his mouldy ass cabin.

[kaeyasfuturewife]

A civil conversation with your local lake fish sturgeon

[kaeyasfuturewife]

[kaeyasfuturewife]

[kaeyasfuturewife]

the dick must be insane

[kaeyasfuturewife]

obsessed with harvey at the y2 luau. absolutely busting ass with this quirked up jpeg shuffle. hes such a shut-in i bet this was like a magical girl transformation for him. the townsfolk see him walk onto the dance floor and are like ohhhh shit peepaws about to bust it down narsty style. fuck it UP white boy. the last ditch effort of a swagless migratory bird throwing back his ENTIRE pussy to attract a mate. im so obsessed with him you dont understa

[kaeyasfuturewife]

Y/N: Ghost is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Soap: Punch him in the stomach, then, when he doubles over in pain, give’em a smooch.

Gaz: Kick him in the shins!

Price: Dump him.

Ghost: Just ask me to lean down!

[kaeyasfuturewife]

[kaeyasfuturewife]

WE NEED TO TALK

↳GN Reader: When they think you’re breaking up with them

[kaeyasfuturewife]

𝝑𝝔 an: cool bf sukuna catching his loser gf drawing his tattoos on herself!! reblog if you like, read more ab cool bf sukuna x loser gf here!!

“the hell are you doin’?”

you freeze, the black liner falling from your hand as you face sukuna with a disturbed look.

“nothing!”

sukuna’s face scrunches in confusion as he examines the lines on your face and arms.

sharp and narrow marks of black on the sides of your pretty face, a line across your nose and neat symbols on your chin and forehead. there is also an unfinished full black circle on your shoulder, and it doesn’t take much to understand that you were clearly trying to imitate sukuna’s tattoos.

a teasing grin blooms on his face as he approaches you, bending down to pick up the fallen liner and handing it to you, “doesn’t look like nothin’ to me.”

you look nervous, bottom lip stuck between your lips as he examines your work carefully, gaze so intense you can barely return it. sukuna’s expression softens at the precision with which you drew on the lines, exact copies of his and he can’t help but feel a little honoured.

he tucks a fallen strand of hair behind your ear and gently grazes his fingertips over the lines, chuckling to himself.

“i can take you to my tattoo artist if you wanna?” he smirks playfully, taking the black liner from your hand and starting to fill in the half empty circle on your shoulder diligently.

“i was just messin’ around, ‘kuna~” you pout, whining his name in that sickeningly sweet tone he adores. “i really like your tattoos!”

“yeah, i can tell, baby,” he murmurs, moving around to color your other shoulder. “like ‘em so much you draw ‘em better than mine.”

you melt under his attentive eyes, heartbeat speeding up at his praise, and shiver when he kisses the spot between your neck and shoulders. sukuna lives for your reactions, enjoying every second of teasing and prodding until you reach your breaking point(well, sometimes).

“well done,” he throws the liner somewhere, taking out his phone. “now lemme post this so everyone sees how pretty you look marked as mine.”

you can’t help the giggles that escape you at his words, hugging him tight as he ruffles your hair in adoration.

[kaeyasfuturewife]

[kaeyasfuturewife]

I need to bite sukunas biceps SO BADDD

Im so atrociously down bad for this man 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

LUCKY FOR BOTH OF US, I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN!

-

Sukuna's been... bulked, these days.

Even from the beginning stages of your relationship, he's always had muscle, but lately he's been focusing more on weights to really, really bulk those muscles. His thighs strain in his pants, his pecs are tight in his shirts, and every now and again, some threads pop as he tugs his shirts over his bulging biceps.

Biceps that have swollen massively in the few weeks of his program, biceps that wrap snugly around you when cuddling, biceps that you can't help but stare at as he moves and goes about his day.

Even now, as he stands in front of the fridge with his lips tucked into the spout of apple juice, the arm holding the jug is flexed slightly as his adams apple bobs from swallowing the sweet juice. You sink your teeth into your lip as he finally turn to face you. "What're you looking at?"

"Just you, violating my apple juice," you sigh, but in reality, your mouth waters at the muscles shifting as he shrugs. you slowly approach him with your eyes fixated on his arm, and one you get to a close proximity, you hook your arms through his and hold it close, nose burying against the muscle and relishing in the smell of his cheap body wash.

So good...

"Didn't want to waste a cup, didn't expect you to be awake, so I just- OWWWWWHATTHEFUCK?!"

You bite him. Hard.

You're not entirely sure when, or why, but you turn your head to sink your teeth into his skin and muscle, chomping down roughly once you make contact. Your nails dig into the other parts of his arm, as if to keep it from moving as he shakes you to get off. "THAT HURTS, STOP-"

You shake your head, and flick your eyes up at his. His face is scrunched in annoyance, but there's no real rage in his eyes, just confusion and discomfort. He uses his free hand, the hand currently not being absolutely chomped on, to try and push your head back, only being released when your giggles make yourself falter. He whines and looks down at the red, perfect imprint of your teeth on his bicep before flicking his gaze back to you. "ARE YOU INSANE?"

"You just looked too yummy," you explain calmly, admiring the blooming mark on his bicep. “The demons told me to.”

“I will fucking kill you and your demons,” he growls, his thick hand coming up to cradle his arm. “Get away from me you feral, feral being.”

You grin up at him, “I’m gonna bite you again.”

His eyes harden, “you wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I dare.”

“Get away from me,” he says, a panic in his voice as you nod and step towards him. “Get aWAY-“

“IM GONNA BITE YOU!”

“FUCK AWAY FROM ME-“

[kaeyasfuturewife]

fresh out the slammer [sukuna x reader] cw: singular mention of sa w/c: 1.1k a/n: all characters mentioned are 22, shoko is your best friend.

"you're not meant to be here."

the man who stands at your doorstep scoffs. your 6 foot 3, pink-haired ex takes up the entirety of the doorway, and you have to force down the urge to jump him.

you tilt your head when he doesn't answer. "ryomen, you need to leave. right now."

a single eyebrows arches. "i know damn well you ain't talkin’ to me like that."

rolling your eyes, you know he won’t do anything you say. so, opening your front door wider, sukuna steps inside, his left hand scratching the back of his neck.

“see, being nice isn’t that hard,” he teases, glancing at you over his shoulder. sighing, you close the door, eyeing him wearily as he lingers in the hallway.

“new key hook?” sukuna smiles, pointing at the wall.

you shake your head in disbelief. “why’re you here?”

sukuna raises his eyebrows, spinning to face you. but you realise your mistake too late.

with the door at your back and nowhere to go, you’re cornered by your ex-boyfriend. yet, he seems to know exactly what he’s doing, with his tongue poking his cheek as he approaches.

“where were you on sunday?”

your breath hitches in your throat when he runs a finger along your collarbone, but you won’t let him get you that easy.

“nowhere,” you insist, staring him down. he always said you were brave for doing that — you were the only one to ever do so.

“funny,” the corner of his mouth turns upward. “i heard something different.”

you give him no reaction. besides, what’s it to him?

“ok, and?”

“ooo,” he laughs deeply, his head tilting. “so it’s true.”

“ryomen—“

“come on baby, you know that’s not my name to you.”

“ryomen,” you press, putting your hand on his chest to keep him at a distance. “you need to leave.”

the faux pout he gives you makes you want to slap him, but you can’t bring yourself to do something so heinous to him.

“fine,” you concede. “yeah, i went on a hinge date, so what?”

“so what?” sukuna mutters bitterly. “it’s not ‘so what’ when he tries to force himself on you, baby.”

your face heats at the mention of it. “sukuna—“

“and you didn’t think to tell me?” he presses his hand on the door behind you, his body dangerously close to yours.

“i was scared,” you whisper, gaze on his chest to avoid his eyes. you notice his body visibly relax, his head hanging closer to yours to hear. “i knew you would do something about it, and i didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“you don’t need to worry about me,” sukuna asserts, his finger under your chin to lift your face towards his. “it’s already been taken care of, and i’m still here.”

your eyes widen slightly, head moving to look at his right hand on the door. spread on the brown wood is his hand, larger as always, the pale skin on his knuckles red and purple and bloody and you’re shocked you didn’t see it before.

reaching up, you grab sukuna’s hand to cradle it in your own. “you’re joking.”

“you’re not a joke to me, sweetheart.”

sighing, you side step him, holding his injured hand in your own. he follows mindlessly behind you, checking out his left hand that is just as bloody as the other.

entering the bathroom, you don’t need to tell him where to sit before you dig the first aid kit out of the cupboard beneath the sink. you hadn’t had to use it in a while.

“kuna,” you murmur, observing his hands. he doesn’t reply. instead, he watches you, like he always does.

faces level, you set everything onto the counter. standing between his thighs makes your body feel numb. and when one of his hands covers your hip, you focus on the other.

sukuna doesn’t flinch when you clean his knuckles with alcohol, and doesn’t object when you smooth frozen band-aids over the particularly bad cuts.

“thanks, baby,” sukuna says, not checking to see if you cleaned them correctly—you always do.

“don’t mention it,” you dismiss flippantly, putting the red soaked cloth in the sink and the aid pack back in the cupboard.

the silence is comfortable but charged with something you don’t want to acknowledge. the muted chatter from the tv in the living room penetrates the bathroom wall, and you come back to your senses.

“does shoko know?”

“she told me.”

you sigh, if she couldn’t get her hands on your hinge date, she’d tell someone who could—and he did.

“he had a bruise where you punched him,” sukuna quips. “but i may have made it worse.”

you twist your lips sheepishly. “yeah, well, i wasn’t letting him get away that easy.”

“that’s my girl.”

the comment makes your stomach flutter pathetically.

“you wanna stay over?” you blurt, face warm.

sukuna knows better than to tease you right now, so he nods, and stands from the closed toilet seat.

you swiftly leave the bathroom, pacing down the hallway to curl up on the couch. sukuna walks in idly, taking in the space he’s spent so much time in. one thing catches his eye, and then he’s poking fun at you.

“nice picture.”

your eyes dart to where he’s looking on the bookshelf, and god forbid, it’s a photo of the two of you at tokyo tower. but, you’re not embarrassed.

“yeah, i look hot.”

sukuna chuckles, sitting next to you and propping his feet up on the coffee table. “you look hot all the time, shut up.”

drawing in a breath, you can’t contain yourself anymore. you circle your arm around his neck, fingers threading through his pink locks. sukuna turns his head toward you, lips inches apart.

“feet off the table.”

“don’t tell me what to do.”

you snicker, brushing his hair off his forehead.

“fresh out the slammer,” you joke. “and you come here.”

“of course,” sukuna looks confused. “where else would i go?”

you bite the inside of your cheek to stop your emotions from showing.

“i don’t know,” you glance down at when his fingers play with the drawstring of your sweatpants. “a new girl?”

“please,” sukuna scoffs. “like anyone else would put up with my shit.”

you give him a deadpan look.

sukuna rolls his eyes. “you’re my pretty baby, i’ll always come home to you or whatever,” he says lazily.

you run your thumb over his cheekbone. "kuna.”

he raises his eyebrows in question, but he knows what you’re asking.

“i need something from you," you mumble, tracing his lips with your eyes.

"oh yeah?" he smirks, voice low. "and what's that?"

you shrug, licking your lips. “nothing.”

sukuna rolls his eyes and lifts your hips up and over him, your knees bracketing his thighs. you squeal softly, forgetting just how strong he is.

sukuna shifts his hips underneath you. “you’re so—”

“kiss me.”

you don’t have to tell him twice.

[kaeyasfuturewife]

dad!sukuna based on this tiktok that gave me insane baby fever

the birds chirping outside in the dawn light makes your daughter giggle from where she stands in your bedroom doorway.

"baby," you whisper to her, beckoning her over to your side of the bed. "c'mere."

your 3-year-old wobbles around the bed, having gotten out of bed by herself. she stands before you with her hands out and grabs your arms.

"layla," you whisper, glancing over your shoulder at your husband, whose hair pokes out wildly from under the duvet. "tell daddy mommy wants a coffee."

your daughter's wide eyes round, and she tilts her head. "cowe?"

you suppress a giggle. "coffee."

"coppee?"

"yeah, good enough," you mumble, nodding. and then you lift her onto the bed. layla clambers over your body and falls face-first into the space between you and sukuna, her pink hair splayed everywhere.

you slap your mouth with your palm to stop the laughs from escaping. your husband stirs, groaning deeply under the white blankets. she looks over at you with a smile on her face, and you give her a single thumbs up.

"dada," layla says, climbing on top of him. "wake up!"

"hi, babygirl," sukuna slurs, eyes half open.

"i want coppee."

"hm? what?"

"coppee!"

"coffee...?" sukuna takes a moment to process the word and then looks at you over his shoulder, eyes puffy. "really, bro?"

you giggle, hiding your face in the blankets.

"you want coffee..." sukuna says, pointing at your daughter. "you go get it."

"no, mummy wants coppee! you get it!" she giggles, chubby finger aimed at him, too.

“noooo,” he whines, though it’s barely one. he shoves his face back into his pillow. “you.”

“daddy!” your daughter yells. “coppee!!”

sukuna scoffs a laugh and rubs his eye with his knuckle while your daughter dances around the room singing, "coppee, coppee!"

"you're lucky you're cute," sukuna grumbles, swinging his bare legs out of the bed, looking over at you as he does so. "you too."