Maybe it鈥檚 better to have the terrible times first. I don鈥檛 know. Maybe then, you can have, if you live, a better life, a real life, because you had to fight so hard to get it away飧簓ou know?飧篺rom the mad dog who held it in his teeth. But then your life has all those tooth marks, too, all those tatters and all that blood.
James Baldwin聽 This morning, this evening, so soon 聽
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路
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i need to get better at managing my time
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cant even process trauma cuz i dont have the time
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i rly am so lonely oh my god
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my idiot of a mother thinks that the cold shoulder will somehow make up for all the shit she did last night
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i fucking swear to god
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why are moms so utterly fucked up like what have i ever done to you to deserve this much vitriol
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if this world rewards selfishness so be it. nobody gives a fuck about my welfare anyways so might as well be an asshole about everything because apparently, unless i solely care about myself, this world won't work for me.
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like jesus fucking christ explaining a goddamn absence shouldn't be this guilt inducing i fucking hate how selfish and narrow people get i fucking hate their idiotic fucking tiny minds for not being able to extend the slightest bit of motherfucking empathy and then wonder why this world is so goddamn broken. because of people like YOU. literally fuck you
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i don't really need anyone or anything because no matter what happens no matter how polite or respectful or kind i try to be I WILL BE TREATED LIKE SHIT ANYWAYS and my god am i fucking sick of it
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it's true it's true abusive/controlling parents will never see you beyond that little child that they could manipulate so well
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i can't believe that this is my fucking life and i am so utterly pissed off by how everything is going
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