kelcysaurus

[kelcysaurus]

telling a joke on tumblr is fun but watch out! if it gets over 1000 notes your joke is automatically exposed to people who have never once heard a joke in their life.

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[kelcysaurus]

The original slogan for Star Wars was far less encouraging than what ended up in the film. Marcia Lucas suggested that George change the phrase to remove the time limit, and the rest is history.

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Something about the idea that voting for president only matters if you live in a swing state, and that all the people in blue states or red states can indulge themselves in principled nonparticipation because the outcomes are preordained, strikes me as akin to playing with fire.

Is it really coherent to say "both sides are awful, write in Mickey Mouse or burn your ballot or just stay home and get drunk, unless you live in Pennsylvania, in which case maybe consider taking one for the team and compromising yourself by voting for the lesser evil?" Is that really the message that will lead to a preferable outcome?

What it sounds like to me is a sign that 1) you take your local electorate for granted, and 2) you see avoiding the worst case scenario as somebody else's problem.

I remember when Florida was a swing state. I also remember when Pennsylvania wasn't.

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Hey, happy Earth Day! Who wants to talk about climate change?

Yeah, okay, fair, I kinda figured the answer to that would be "ugh do we have to?" What if I told you I have good news though? Good news with caveats, but still good news.

What if I told you that since the Paris Agreement in 2015, we've avoided a whole degree celsius of global warming by 2100, or maybe more?

Current projections are 2.7C, which is way better than the 3-5C (with a median of 3.7C) we were expecting in 2015. It's not where we want to be - 1.5C - but it is big, noticeable progress!

And it's not like we either hit 1.5C and avoid all the big scary consequences or fail to hit 1.5C and get all of them - every tenth of a degree of warming we avoid is going to prevent more severe problems like extreme weather, sea level rise, etc.

This means that climate change mitigation efforts are having a noticeable impact! This means a dramatically better, safer future - and if we keep pushing, we could lower the amount of global warming we end up with even further. This is huge progress, and we need to celebrate it, even though the fight isn't over.

It's working. Keep going.

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the tendency for racists and white supremacists to go gaga over their idea of ancient Rome is so darkly hilarious because of how entirely wrong it is. It’s not a twisting of some kernels of truth, it’s not a misinterpretation, it’s just the exact opposite, and people in Western Europe has been doing it for so long. For centuries people in Britain and Germany would be like/have been like “ah yes, we are special and superior because we are the heirs of the superior Romans” while next to a giant pile of writings by respected Ancient Romans who went “god, Britain is a dump and Germany is full of idiot barbarians. I wish I lived somewhere cool and cultured like Syria or Tunisia.”

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I do think it's pretty funny that fanfic premises based on illegitimate kids as an excuse for crossovers over the years have gone from "Mom character CHEATED on Dad character 😡" to "once upon a time, mommy and daddy had a threesome and now we have YOU!" lmaoooo. People don't want marital discord they just want a third parent

[kelcysaurus]

things show only fans might not know and that upsets me

crowley:

in the book, when aziraphale suffocates the dove at warlock’s party, it’s CROWLEY who takes it from him and resurrects it (i’m forever bitter they changed it bc it’s so understated but such a lovely character moment)

there’s not a lot of physical description of the characters but we know that crowley is young, has dark hair and good cheekbones, wears snakeskin boots that may or may not be his feet, and can “do really weird things with his tongue” 👀👀

also when he gets annoyed/stressed, he starts to hiss

when he’s in his flat freaking out about the impending apocalypse, he tries to calm himself down by alphabetising his collection of soul music. yes really

he didn’t take credit for the spanish inquisition. in fact, he’d never even heard of the spanish inquisition until the commendation arrived, at which point he went to check it out and was so horrified by what he saw that he fucked off to the nearest cantina and got drunk for a week

is an absolute little bitch of epic proportions. like in the show a lot of his lines are delivered all cool and sassy but in the book he’s literally just bitching about everything all the time. with the paintball bit, when aziraphale says he knew crowley was always secretly nice, he doesn’t flip out and push aziraphale against a wall, he just bitches some more, because he bitches all!!! the!!! time!!! “oh lord heal this bike”? bitching. the only times he’s not bitching is when he’s throwing a temper tantrum or gleefully pranking people

“nothing but dust and fundamentalists”

he slept through almost the entire 19th century because it was so boring, except for 1832 when he got up to go to the toilet

‘… Bee-elzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me… “For me,” murmured Crowley. His expression went blank for a moment. Then he gave a strangled scream and wrenched the on-off knob.’ ;a; my poor son i just wanna protect him

back in the day, the most popular fancast for him was benedict cumberbatch. this was exactly as awful as it sounds

the reason there were so many queen songs in the show is bc there’s this whole bit in the book about how any cassette that gets left in a car for longer than two weeks morphs into a best of queen album. crowley had a bunch of eclectic tapes (he likes velvet underground, joy division, and handel) in his car but they turned into queen. and at the end of the book?  ‘Crowley inserted a cassette labled “Handel’s Water Music”, and it stayed “Handel’s Water Music” all the way home.’ MY HEART

his CANONICAL NUMBER ONE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION AS WRITTEN BY PTERRY AND GAIMAN is to accept that superglueing valuable coins to the sidewalk then watching events unfold from a nearby cafe is not proper demonic activity

aziraphale:

his hands are apparently plump and very well manicured

wears a camelhair coat. fandom has also collectively decided he wears argyle sweaters even though this is never once mentioned in canon

upon meeting aziraphale, most people get three impressions: 1) that he is british 2) that he is intelligent 3) that he is gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. he’s not british and angels are technically sexless unless they really want to make an effort… but he is intelligent

at the start of the book, he hasn’t sworn for six thousand years. the first time he swears in six thousand years is “bugger”. the second time is “oh fuck” when he gets shadwell’d

after he gets shadwell’d he doesn’t immediately possess madame tracy. instead he bodyhops across the world and at one point possesses an american televangelist on live tv and proceeds to deliver an amazing smackdown of the commercialisation of religion then ends with “gosh. am i on television?” i love him

HE’S the one to suggest killing adam. mr stuffy angel’s NUMBER ONE IDEA for dealing with the problem is to MURDER AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD BOY

his bookshop is actually just a place for him to store his collection of rare books (including a collection of bibles that have misprints like the wicked bible and the standing fishes bible). he doesn’t actually want anyone to buy them. so he opens at weird hours, makes his shop constantly smell bad, and gives people death stares whenever they step inside to make them leave as quickly as possible.

also mobsters keep threatening his shop to try to make him leave. he thanks them politely, shows them out the door, and they are never seen again.

he does his taxes on an ancient mac, which is the only technology he’s ever adopted, and they’re so scrupulously accurate he’s been investigated five times because the government’s sure he’s getting away with murder somewhere

along with benedict cumberbatch as crowley people used to fancast him as martin freeman. 2013 was a dark time.

absolute asshole. complete stinky bastard man. he’s SO CRUEL to crowley it’s unreal, and he doesn’t even realise half the time. when he admits at the end before the showdown with satan that “i’ll have always known, deep down inside, that there was some good in you”. not there was some good deep down inside crowley. that DEEP DOWN INSIDE AZIRAPHALE was the knowledge that crowley had some good in him. my heart!!!!!!!!!

miscellany:

back in my day we didn’t have any of this fancy ineffable husbands shit. we called it air conditioning and we liked it

read @irisbleufic‘s crown of thorns verse. its the ultimate go fic

IT’S CANON ACTUAL CANON that after the book crowley and aziraphale moved into a cottage in the south downs together so uhhh yeah They’re Gay Karen

i love them so much. im begging you please read the book it’s so good

[kelcysaurus]

i love to have friends who care enough about me to do things like this❤️

[kelcysaurus]

Who created the "i before e except after c" rule? It's not even true

Whoever it was should've minded their business.