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In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

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My jokes do numbers in the porn bot community

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losing my MIND

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i know i’m biased because i’m 12 at heart and i think everything he does is funny but my little brother put together a last-minute “time traveler” costume for halloween which comprised solely of this homemade WW3 draft card and i think every single aspect of it is absolutely fucking hilarious

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at work we have a bartender named tyler and he collects wine corks so we put them in a little box for him and another bartender makes fun of him cause his t’s look like l’s so she wrote “lyler’s corks” and i saw it this morning and i grabbed a marker and changed the ‘c’ to a ‘g’

and after he left a bartender came up to me and said “aww lyler left his gorks” and i lost it

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they should make a wii fit for getting jacked

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https://www.pixiv.net/user/3489777/series/42514

https://mangadex.org/title/30630/girl-that-can-see-it

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ah

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Pretty sure I drove through Night Vale on my way home tonight.

“We invite the children of same-sex couples to listen,” said the radio announcer. “We invite the children of different-sex couples to listen. We do NOT invite the Children of the Corn to listen.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” a different voice cut in. “Some of our best friends are…” *realized what he was saying was ridiculous* “… corn.”

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same here persmart

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This is the single greatest thing I’ve ever come across.

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The Scooby-Doo Project (1999)

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Beethoven — Fur Chiken