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my favorite thing to think about with bingyuan is bingge having a fetishistic obsession with shen yuan's imperfection.

bingge's wives and every person he's held more than one conversation with are perfect. they're sickeningly pretty, dizzyingly pretty, the sort of pretty celebrities need an hour in a makeup chair and 100k in surgery to achieve.

but shen yuan is so... different. his teeth are adorably crooked, he sneezes in a way that's really only endearing to bingge, he snores and drools on binghe's chest in his sleep. he sweats, it tastes salty on his tongue and makes shen yuan smell acrid and disgusting after it cools on his skin, lingers on binghe's hands after touching him, and binghe is obsessed. every bit of shen yuan that makes him human is what makes binghe rabidly horny.

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Maybe the real difference between SVSSS and the other MXTX books is that in MDZS and TGCF both members of the main couple are sometimes, occasionally, pretty cool

Binghe and Shen Qingqiu never stop being cringe fail long enough to look cool

Like even at Binghe’s most scary I just feel sorry for the guy

Like Bing Bong is just a sad little guy :( he's so sad and just wants head pats and light spanking to be happy. He's so inept at peopling when he needs to the most and that's so relatable but alas Bing-a-ling, I am also a loser

He doesn't even kill people on screen

Loser behaviour

And it's hard to take Shen Qingqiu seriously when you have access to his inner monologue which is just: "I'M GONNA DIE I'M NOT GAY I'M GONNA DIE Binghe’s eyes are pretty I'M GONNA DIE AND ITS AIRPLANE’S FAULT PEOPLE THINK IM GAY SOMEHOW I'M GONNA DIE Binghe is just so pretty I'M GONNA DIE!"

I love them so much

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Nothing like finding a body in the trunk of your cherry red sports car after a hard day at work!

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i really love this meme for bingqiu because the correct way to illustrate it is not with a bored sqq who's readily answering all these, but a SQQ that has a tone and expression brimmed with one hundred and twenty percent warm indulgence—a promise to grant whatever request LBH might have. like genuinely that's the only way

[ID: A text conversation with Scum Villain characters edited over it. It reads:

Luo Binghe: I have a question for you.

Shen Qingqiu: Yes I'd cry if you died Yes I'd still love you if you was a worm Yes I still love you No I don't want to break up

Luo Binghe: Thank you. End ID]

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Hualian as Text Posts Cause I honestly had so many.

Xie Lian Vers. Hua Cheng Vers.

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third base is using each others first names

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a crater formed in the shape of your absence.

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tgcf is like if xie lian was faced with the trolley problem every single day and every day he said "i'll choose a third option!" and that option was throwing himself in front of the trolley to stop it but instead it flips over and kills/maims everyone on both tracks and xie lian himself

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The Northern King is acting Weird

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Airplane to the rescue!

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Whenever I try to imagine relationship between adult Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng, it's always JC going "boo-hoo, now that he's all grown up, he will fly away from the nest and forget all about me and leave my old bones to rot as things should be" and JL going "FINALLY. FINALLY IT'S MY TURN TO FUSS OVER YOU".

Something like this:

JL: When was the last time you touched grass? No. No, look me in the eyes. Answer the question. When was. The last time. You touched grass? Okay, I'm staying here and I'm not going anywhere until you touch grass. Go on, do it. No. No, don't you dare! Come on. Just a little bit, it's okay. There you go! Wasn't so bad, was it? --------------------------- JC (staying in the distance, holding hands to his mouth and shouting): IS IT ENOUGH BASKING IN THE SUN????? JL (watching him from afar, also holding hands to his mouth and shouting): FORTY SECONS DOESN'T COUNT AS 'BASKING IN THE SUN'!!! JC: FUCK!!! ---------------------------

(Jiang Cheng and Jing Ling are enjoying dinner in silence, when suddenly--) JL: Name three good things that happened to you recently. JC: *grumbles* JL: Come on. JC: Uhh..... Okay, I..... Uuuuuuugh... I saw a cute dog yersteday! JL: Oh, that's a good one. I'll count this for two. JC: Aaaand I just named a good thing that counts for two? JL: That's two plus zero. Think harder, uncle.

--------------------------- JC: Sometimes I wish you flew away from the nest and left my old bones to rot. JL: You should have thought about it before taking care of me.

---------------------------

JL: From now on you will sleep at least six hours per night. JC: No. JL: It's either that or hugging Wei Wuxian next time you see him. JC: Six hours is good, I can do that. (Jiang Cheng turns Lotus Pier upside down to find a rat who keeps reporting to Jin Ling about his sleep schedule. He can't find that person. Of course he can't! They are ALL rats!)

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I personally headcanon that (and I’m pretty sure many others do as well) post canon, Shang Qinghua gets like super bored and just decides to write a book and he’s like yk what would be great? having a beta reader and he calls SQQ over to read and SQQ does and he finishes it and just puts it down like no comments no nothing just puts the book down and his face is completely blank and SQH just sits there all fidgety and nervous because what could possibly go bad with asking favorite hater to read something he wrote and he just goes ‘so? how was it?’ and SQQ just explodes bc he’s like ‘YOU COULD WRITE THIS GOOD THE ENTIRE TIME AND PIDW ENDED LIKE THAT?!?!?!!!!’ and for at least a full month after that SQH and SQQ cannot be in the same room without SQQ trying to physically tear SQH’s face off in anger, Mobei Jun and Binghe watch this cold war go down completely confused, but not as confused as when SQQ finally let’s go and harasses SQH into writing more like nothing ever happened

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trying my hand at svsss as textposts: 1/?

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x

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SVSSS AU set post-canon, the peak lords are having a meeting, business as usual, right up until a heavenly official manifests smack dab in the middle of it. Said official takes one look around, spots Shang Qinghua, and basically falls into a perfect kowtow in front of him while being a level of distraughtly sticky that would make Luo Binghe proud.

"Your excellency, we know you wanted to oversee this section of history, we know it's your holiday, but we need you back, please, no one can figure out your filing system-!!!"

There is an absolutely reasonable amount of pandemonium from ten of the remaining peak lords, Shen Yuan is feigning indifference while also paying razor-edged attention because 'dammit, Airplane, what did you do now', and Shang Qinghua is desperately trying to figure out how to get this god to stop crying and hugging his ankles while babbling about paperwork. Once everyone has calmed down enough, it's revealed that Shang Qinghua, on top of being Shang Qinghua, really is the creator-god of this world and his current human incarnation is the equivalent of a sabbatical to watch some really interesting current events.

Now, the thing is? Airplane is still very much Airplane, all that's true. The part where it gets complicated is that he really is also this world's creator-god, divine powers and all, and he arrived much earlier than the 40+ years ago he thought he had. He has, in fact, been here for most of the world's history, managing the logistics of things to keep them running relatively smoothly the whole time. Except then he realized, "Hey, we're getting close to the era of the Plot, I wanna see that and maybe fix it some!" So he sealed his own memories from between his death and his arrival in this world and incarnated himself as Shang Qinghua specifically so he'd get a chance to meet his favorite character.

The real kicker is, the System? Yeah, there's a reason it has such a modern-tech interface and sounds so Google translate and stuff.

Because Airplane made that, too. Primarily because, while it's been awhile and he doesn't fully remember how he was as a human, he does remember his tendencies to try and wriggle out of stuff, and even now he prefers a comfy life with a not unreasonable amount of delegation, so he decided to give himself a little something to keep himself on-task.

He did not mean to make the damn thing so mean, that was an oops on his part.

While Airplane is reeling with all the headache that is gaining a few thousand extra years of memories while still remaining primarily himself, one of the peak lords asks if the official is certain they have the right person.

They get a derisive sneer for their efforts. "Of course it's his excellency, you think a normal man could run the logistics for a great sect, the Northern realm, and a portion of the Demon Emperor's court, even without having a writing career and social life on the side? Besides, he's the only one we've found who takes notes in his excellency's secret language." And they point dramatically to where Airplane's scribbled some pinyin in the margins of his paperwork.

Airplane can feel Cumcumber-bro's judgement from across the room. On the plus side, his memories of being a god included how to power down the System, so that's something at least, right?

Right?

...

...he needs to go stick his face in his king's chest and cry for a little, he can just feel his workload increasing...