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// I really should get back to writing in here I miss it so much

#the mun

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Rita Dove, “Primer for the Nuclear Age”, Collected Poems 1974-2004

[Text ID: “Any fear, any / memory will do; and if you’ve . got a heart at all, someday / it will kill you”]

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C.P. Cavafy, from Remember, Body

#{ queue }~’[little things you may not know]

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#[ lost in the labyrinth ]•.(aesthetics).•

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“Sorrow compressed my heart, and I felt I would die, and then … Well, then I woke up.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Dream of a Ridiculous Man

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//Apologize for my long sudden absence, but I’m back here now so yeah once again Hello everyone I hope if some of you still remember me!

#outside the labyrinth ~’ ( ooc )

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“The Doom Generation”

#~’( musings ) #[ Lost In The Labyrinth ]•.(aesthetics).•

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Jane Hirshfield, Assay Only Glimpsable for an Instant

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“So I am here Standing in the blood drained from me I am here Always, endlessly, I am here Forgive me for burning Forgive me for disappearing”

— Yoshihara Sachiko, from Women Poets of Japan; Candle. Trans. Kenneth Rexroth.

#[ Lost In The Labyrinth ]•.(aesthetics).•

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“These secrets will set this house on fire one day. As they cultivate madness behind their thin walls. And there will be no laughter in their hysteria. Only blood and carnage. A massacre for all.”

— Helaena C Moon @ http://hapless-hollow.tumblr.com/

#[ Lost In The Labyrinth ]•.(aesthetics).•

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#[ lost in the labyrinth ]•.(aesthetics).•

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“A heart for home, but no way to get there…”

— Chiao Jan, from Gazing at T’ien-chu and Ling-yin Temples; A Drifting Boat: Chinese Zen Poetry. Ed. J.P. Seaton.

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A soft chuckle welled up from Theodore. “ It’s in my blood cannot change it.” Following the other’s gaze he noticed that he is looking at his hand close to his he could sense the other’s needed connection feelings so Theodore didn’t hesitate to reach for his hand and holding it gently.

Perhaps it would comfort Mylo as he started to opening up to him, a quiet sigh escaped from his lips as he heard the necromancer story and a sudden waves of heaviness started to taking root in his heart. He did not only understand every word he spoke but he also did feel the pain in his words as if it was his own.

“ I understand... It is hard very hard indeed... All these feelings and unwanted memories, they haunt your soul make you feel like you’re trapped lost in time and space. Mylo I feelt your pain and believe me when I say I know how is it to have that feeling being distant from home and not belonging to nowhere...”

As Theodore spoke the words that weighted his heart and mind for so long he then just sat there in total silence, he barley use to talk about these subjects but tonight he couldn’t holding it back anymore. After a brief moment of silence he then slowly wrapped an arm around his shoulders and still holding his hand, pulling him forward to himself to embrace Mylo and resting his head atop of his. For a moment he merely wanted to try offering him a sense of comfort that he truly deserved.

"Sometimes nightmares do not let go of us but it is not a good reason for us to let them take over of our mind. I am here and I will stay with you here, I may not be able to stop them, but I assure you I will not let the nightmares haunt you again.”

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“ No problem at all.” Theodore nodded.

“It sounds fine.” He responded shortly.

Although he seems to be an eccentric and is a loner, living isolated from others, there were times when he found some rare unique people comforting and Mylo was one of those a few people and he did not mind spending more time with the other one at all.

There was no need to say a word by a simple look from Mylo’s face Theo realized that the other’s mind is quite disturbed or at least he felt that way and he could sense it as well. He opened his mouth to say something then closed it, nothing came out. He didn’t want to upset him or even worse make him feel uncomfortable so he turned his eyes away from the other’s face, looking down at his own hands.

He then sighed quietly as if he was trying to choose the right words in his mind he then placed a hand beside other’s close to his but not touching it.

“ Mylo… If there is something troubling your mind, you can- tell me… If… If you need someone to talk to.”

His voice was calm and almost seems comforting and his gaze returned to the other one’s face.

                The necromancer was never particularly good at hiding his emotions, no matter how hard he tried. Perhaps it was to do with his empathic abilities, tuning into the slightest shift in positive and negative energy, that he found himself wearing his heart upon his sleeve. It was always going to be his downfall. Despite attempting to remain stoic – calm and collected – the mask would eventually slip, and his true feelings revealed; it was how the wytch-hunters managed to take advantage of him back then. They were well-aware of how powerful he was, more than capable of holding his own and taking down a full army, but they found a way around that. By bringing him down to his most vulnerable state, the side that cared for and nurtured the one he loved, they were able to use that against him. Threatening somebody he vowed to protect was enough to subdue even the most formidable creature. Since then, the necromancer kept his heart behind a cage and refused to open up to anybody; it was easier that way. Nobody could use his feelings against him again.

                It was exhausting, however, keeping everything to himself. Decades had passed and his heart had grown bitter and cold, the lust for life disappearing in an endless state of anger. The wytch-hunters had taken everything from him, and although most of the original offenders were dead now, what they did continued to torment him. Memories of that night in the forest haunted his dreams constantly, distracting him from trying to build a new life, and there was nobody he could talk to about it. His coven had shunned him, any contact with them completely severed, and the only other choice was the humans he lived alongside. That was definitely not an option. Any one of them could be a wytch-hunter in disguise, so the thought of confiding in them was a huge risk. He was here to escape his past, not relive it. But even that was proving impossible. 

              “You’re too clever for your own good sometimes,” he breathed out, knowing that he was never going to be able to hide anything from Theo. The man was highly perceptive – too caring, too sympathetic. But was that a bad thing? No, obviously not, but for a creature who wanted to remain closed off, it was. He wanted to tell Theo that everything was fine – just dandy – but it would only end up with him hiding his worries again. And then they would continue to build until he was left feeling empty once more. Alone; an unbearable state to be in, and he was desperate to come out of it. The only problem was that he was afraid – frightened of showing his vulnerable side, exposing the part of him that had been locked away for decades. He never wanted to be in that position again. 

               Looking down at the hand close to his, Mylo wanted to reach for it; a much needed connection. As Theo spoke, his comforting words were enough for the necromancer to decide that it was time to speak his mind. The other always had the ability to calm him down, ground him, and provide a welcoming environment. Most of all, however, was his patience. He never pushed for information, or made Mylo feel trapped – and he appreciated that. So, after a moment to breathe, he began to tell Theo about what happened in Shademarsh; from living peacefully, to the rift inbetween, and eventually how his coven was hunted down by wytch-hunters. 

              “I thought that, by living here, I would be able to start a new life.” Not that he had a choice. It was the furthest place he could escape to. “But I keep having nightmares of that night. Every time I drift off, all I see is their faces mocking me. I hear my family being–” killed. He struggled to say the last word, chewing the inside of his cheek as he attempted to remain calm. “Last night, it was worse than usual. Even when I woke up, it felt like they were in my apartment. I haven’t been able to switch off, but having you here helped.” There was no better company he could have asked for. “You always seem to know how to make me happy, which is why I wanted you to stay a little longer. I like you being here.”

#Xnecromantia

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okay but listen if u ever wanna start multiple threads with me don’t even ask because there’s a 900% chance i'ma cry and be hella happy that u even like interacting with me that much and probably tell u to tag me in as many threads as u want whenever u want always

#;;psa #Outside The Labyrinth ~’ ( OOC ) #//everyone listen hmu whenever you want 😌✨

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@i-owe-you-sniperxconsultant [X];

“Believe me I experienced worse!” He responded then soft chuckle welled up from him. He wasn’t there staying with Jim because he doesn’t mind dangerous situations or getting hurt he was there because he wanted to stay with the other one. Even thothough he wouldn’t say it out loud in words but there was no other reasons.

He then quickly took off his coat to wiping the blood from Jim's face gently with it and then handing it to him. He couldn’t find anything better in that situation for wiping the blood and stop the bleeding.

“Well Jim, currently we don’t have anything better to clean the blood with it so take it.”

A nervous short laughter came out of his lips, realizing he said too much and almost showed the him a bit of affection, emotions, and the fact that he cares. Not that he necessarily being against showing feelings or emotions but it mostly because he prefers to everyone picturing him as a stone cold person who never cares in their mind.

“Oh James you certainly do need someone to take of you, or perhaps it is the ringing in your ears makes you unconscious about your current situation!”

It was an obvious way to avoiding the direct answer. Offering Jim a hand to help him stand up. “ For now we shoud get you out of here, can you walk?” Joseph asked.

#I-owe-you-sniperxconsultant; Jim

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“Are you scared of the dark?” he asks me. I say, “Why would I be scared of what is part of me?”

— something lurks inside me, and it will make or wreck me. t.b.

#~’( musings ) #{ queue }~’[Little things you may not know] #[ Lost In The Labyrinth ]•.(aesthetics).•

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He gazed into those dark and silent eyes, and one long shuddering sigh escaped his lips, he was not used to seeing him in a sort of situation like that. Knowing that the other one would let him to stay with him was a little help to collecting his thoughts in his troubled mind.

“ It is good to know because I did not decide to going anywhere. Not as long as I know you’re in danger. ”

Joseph cleared his throat as if wondering whether or not to speak, Gritting his teeth with hesitation. The man sat there beside him with his head bent down looking at him, his icy eyes were fixed on the injured man’s face and not moving.

“You are bleeding but that should stop and then I’m going to take care of you.”

“Do you need some space?” Joseph to Jim

Jim shakes his head, slowly looking up at Joseph, blood dripping from his face, eyes darker than normal and a murderous look on his face as he tries to catch his breath. “No, not this time.” 

#I-owe-you-sniperxconsultant; Jim