leafeongold

[leafeongold]

[leafeongold]

[leafeongold]

Hey

Do yall remember that stray cat that ran into my house during that snowstorm last winter

The one that spent the night and ran off the next morning

GUESS WHO I RAN INTO TODAY

[leafeongold]

REBLOG IF YOU'VE TOUCHED A BOOB

[leafeongold]

do you think the romans had callout posts?

no, they would definitely fuck about it

[leafeongold]

i hope that in the future humans become migratory creatures who move between continents on a seasonal basis, like the birbs

that’s what the upper middle class do. i want to spend summer vacation in greece.

[leafeongold]

I don't think lying is real. I think that that's something people made up

Molly, don’t you start gaslighting me-

[leafeongold]

today's children are gonna become teens and clown the shit out of us for 'eepy' and 'blorbo' but they'll say it in cocomelonese so we won't understand them

[leafeongold]

Yeah, we get it, the Joker eats babies and microwaves puppies and is SO edgy all the other villains are 10,000SPOOKED by Gotham’s Do0MKl0wN. I mean even the funny versions of him in kid’s Batman content still tend to assume he’s the most dangerous villain in that setting, and that’s just plain old at this point. What if even all the gritty grisly “adult” Batman stuff we still have just went straight back to Joker being a campy goofball, practically a G-rated kiddie show grade menace, even if the rest of the setting is still grimdark? What if he barely ever even kills people? How much funnier and genuinely more interesting would it be if in the middle of Batman investigating a rash of gruesome occult dismemberments or whatever this asshole clown shows up and successfully pranks both sides with some day-one clown shit like a big giant whoopee cushion? It doesn’t have acid in it or anything. It doesn’t explode. He just MASTERFULLY puppeteers both Batman and the Satanic Blood Cult or whatever into making a big fart noise in front of everybody and somehow gets away with it.

Like that’d be the thing about him. His ability to manipulate and dupe people would be almost terrifying but it’s all the more infuriating that he uses it for petty, infantile nonsense that just inconveniences and humiliates everybody and is somehow the one guy who can _ALWAYS_ outsmart Batman no matter what. Batman would fucking hate it so much. He would hate it even more for how trivial it is. I would read the hell out of that.

[leafeongold]

[leafeongold]

Would you buy candy from them?~

Kofi link <3

[leafeongold]

do you think the skyrim npcs should do yaoi

Wait, that isn't a standard base game feature?

[leafeongold]

[leafeongold]

thanks to unity's downright evil new pricing model that charges per-install (including reinstalls), it will now be impossible to sign a deal with a publisher for your unity game because i can guarantee there are zero publishers who are willing to lose money every single time your game gets downloaded and installed.

[leafeongold]

[leafeongold]

[leafeongold]

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”