lifeisahighwaysadversion

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

After missing last week’s session I was already losing my mind so things are gonna seriously get really weird 🙃

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

My therapist went on maternity leave early who’s ready to party

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

update on this Yes I cried

gonna get really drunk and cry @ the st. vincent show tonight!

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

Hi I haven’t posted on here much lately but rest assured I’m still going through some shit!!

Me and Erica are still talking regularly but I don’t really see what can come out of it I think we’re just afraid to let go of each other but our lives are going in different directions 🙃

All of my friends want me to move on so I made a tinder and I went on a date (they came to my dad’s house and we played left 4 dead) (she was recently DIVORCED and living with family temporarily getting her life back together, was kind of nice to connect with someone who’s also going through it) but it was waaayyy too much too soon (she bought me gifts and suggested that we GET AN AIRBNB SOMEWHERE???) and I ended it after the one date 🤠

I got into a huge fight with my dad earlier this week where he basically told me that he’s upset with me because I’m sad all the time! He said that I need to move forward in my life (but not move out of his house according to him moving out of his house would be “the biggest mistake I could make”) and told me that if I ever miss Erica to just think about something else and be happy 🤔

I want to move out like TODAY but nowhere was renting for December so I’m stuck here until at least January 🤬

The bulk of my interaction with Erica is through words with fucking friends but today we talked about our feelings and I was worthless all day at work because of it 😖

Can’t bring myself to play the new animal crossing game because it reminds me of all the times we would play together 😭

Two more sessions until my therapist goes on maternity leave!!! 😀

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

gonna get really drunk and cry @ the st. vincent show tonight!

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

just got back into bed and I’m not getting out of it until

tuesday

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

SHOUTS OUT TO THE COUPLE STANDING IN FRONT OF ME AT THIS CONCERT FUCK YOU

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

JANUARY

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

I MISS

INTIMACY

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

we're trying out Talking Again

it is weird

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

My therapist says the maybe now that I've gotten a better job I'm having a harder time not focusing on losing Erica and that maybe I should focus on moving now but first off there's nothing available for when I'm gonna have the money to move again and second how is looking for an apartment gonna help distract me from the fact that I lost the person I love and even if we both regret that it happened there's just no clear way for us to get back to where we were

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

IM NOT DOING GOOD

#BEEN A BAD WEEK

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

@birchwitchbasic I know I'm just not sure if us being together right now is a good idea like I just don't feel safe doing that and I feel like it would lead to us being unhappy at this point. We need more time.

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

@hrecall idk how I did it I talked a lot with my therapist about what I would say to her the next time I talked to her but I'm not sure how I feel now tbh I'm drinking about it though!!🌀🤠🌀

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

we just talked on the phone and she said she regrets everything that happened and that she misses me and still loves me and I told her I felt the same but that I just don’t feel safe with her right now and that I don’t know how to fix that and that I don’t know how it could be possible for us to be together and part of me knows I am doing the right thing in saying that because that’s the truth and that’s where we are and she clearly doesn’t have any idea how to go forward either but the other part of me is just screaming why did you not just get back together with her right there in that moment why why why

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

I do NOT want to be single I do NOT want to live at my dad’s anymore and I DEFINITELY DO NOT want to be 27 years old tomorrow!

#especially not all in combination!

[lifeisahighwaysadversion]

I should also mention that a package of Business Boy Clothes got delivered to her house by mistake and she's mailing it to me