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does anyone else do this?

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Fantastic Beasts is suspended indefinitely.

Musk is begging for cash because he made the stupidest purchase in internet history.

Zucky Wucky is hemorrhaging cash because the Metaverse goal of becoming the NFT successor of real estate speculation was met with the deserved mockery at how stupid it was.

Trump is finally being properly prosecuted for crimes he unquestionably and very inconspicuously committed.

Alex Jones owes a billion dollars to Sandy Hook victims.

The Tories are imploding in a schism that might actually result in the collapse of the British empire.

Putin has ran out of army and crawled pathetically to the corner a tiny insurgent army pushed him towards, decades of military propaganda burnt away in months.

Prime Minister Shinzō Abe died with no glory.

The GOP is so confused after the Trump era they don't even know how to run their grifts anymore.

Rings of Power was such a mediocre release Amazon could potentially drop Prime Video altogether.

Turns out 2022 was really the "find out" year. It took a while but I'm loving this season finale so far.

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Mikemuscle1 on Cam

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This is his first day in the Honor Guard, and it’s all more intense than he could ever have imagined.

The Master took him and made him suck Him off, right in the middle of the throne room in front of all the other slaves, and he obeyed. Then he made him bend over and fucked his ass and he even forgot they were in public, all he could think about was that marvelous cock inside him, and the owner of the world fucking him.

He didn’t know if he came, and it didn’t matter. The only important thing was that the Master came inside him, that he was the one giving him pleasure, and he got to be used as his fuck toy.

Then, he spent the whole day learning the ropes. He’s a guard, he’s a slave, and he’s a decoration. He needs to keep his body in shape to be seen and used whenever the Master wants to. He needs to serve in the palace, and he needs to keep guard.

That’s the life of the Honor Guard, simple and intense, entirely focused on their servitude to their Master. They live for him and only for him, every second of their lives.

Then, he got to fuck the Captain.

The Captain is as much a slave as he is, but he’s in charge of all the guards… or also, in charge of serving them. The Captain keeps them happy, keeps them horny and keeps them in place. And he came to give him a warm, tight welcome in an empty room.

The Captain’s body is a work of art, and although nothing can compare to getting fucked by the Master, the pleasure of fucking another man is part of the simple pleasures he will have in the palace.

And he knows what comes next: Tonight in the guard barracks, all of his fellow guard-slaves will fuck him, and they will use his body until he’s sore and full of cum and falls asleep surrounded by them.

It’s so simple, so easy. There will be nothing more in his life. His Master, his servitude, and his brothers in arms and enslavement.

This is the life of the Honor Guard.

(Find longer hypno stories in Sponsus and Gumroad and daily captions on my Twitter!)

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..may this joke land with y’all the same way it did for my sister and I lol

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I’m putting this out here for anyone who needs it

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This is the coolest desk I’ve ever seen.

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Facts

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Look at you. Taking the lead in our relationship.