lilac-city-skylines

[lilac-city-skylines]

I announced a while ago that I was going to log off of this tumblr account forever, promising a long-form post containing all my reasons why. Well, this is that post. There are a few quick housekeeping things I’d like to run through before I give my official ‘Here’s why I’m logging off” list.

I love The Dark Crystal and I love it’s fandom, my logging off doesn’t have much to do with the fandom.

I will miss writing for it every day and will keep sporadically adding to my fics on AO3 and will continue posting various fics and one-shots there.

If, for any reason, you’d like to follow my new blog and see the content I post there, it’s @lavendergreyplanet It’s going to be a studyblr with occasional breaks for my personal writings and poetry, both of which are fantasy. My DMs and ask box will, as always, be open to anyone who would like to use them.

Now, let the longform post truly begin.

1. General loss of fuel

I think literally anyone who produces fandom content can relate to this one. You write as much as you can, gathering a fanbase centered around a specific fandom, and you’re so excited you could probably jump and touch the sky with all the excitement you have. You spend your spare time debating fanfiction ideas, writing drafts, publishing headcannons, and even making secret playlists for your favorite characters - then slowly, it all stops. The fandom just isn’t what it used to be or maybe there’s a general tonal shift in the fandom. Your writing starts to feel fake. You realize that you’re interested in tons of other fandoms and you accidentally pigeon-holed yourself into just one. It fills your days and suddenly it’s not as fun anymore. Writing requests start to feel ingenuine, like you could’ve done better, cared more, written something better. You lose your fuel.

2. Fandom tones that put me off

This is more of a minor complaint and I won’t be calling anyone out, but I started to see a growing amount of sexual overtones in the writing requests I got, as well as with The Dark Crystal fandom in general. While this certainly wasn’t a huge part of the fandom, the sexual part got very uncomfortable for me. I won’t kinkshame or call people out but the amount of pregnancy or labor headcannon requests I got were bordering fetishistic, it became one of the reasons I lost my fuel.

3. General tumblr complaints

You hear it once, you hear it a million times. The site is broken, blah blah blah, not enough to chase me off the site itself but enough to make me crave a fresh start.

4. I can’t stand some of the people.

Okay, this is where I’m going to get a little harsh. Feel free to skip this part if you don’t want to read me getting very salty.

It mainly started when Anne Rice died. The entitlement was fucking disgusting. There were posts celebrating that poor woman dying from a stroke. People were getting so excited because “we can post our fanfiction again!” I hated it. I didn’t want to be grouped in with such entitled brats, I became literally ashamed of writing fanfiction and I’m still not over it. I know, I know, I KNOW that this isn’t everyone. I GET THAT. I realized that this entitled attitude was all over the fandom side of tumblr. You make a story that tumblr likes? It’s not yours anymore, suddenly people feel like they can do whatever they want to your characters. I’m not talking about fanfiction in general, mainly the “I want my OTP to get together so bad I’m going to attack voice actors and writers and use blackmail.” (I’m staring the Voltron fandom down and I will not apologize for it). You aren’t allowed to just ... have your story. Even in the Undertale fandom, people who made AU’s were ran off the internet BY TUMBLR USERS who laid claim to the AU they didn’t even create. Steven Universe fandom on tumblr put a girl in the hospital by bullying her so bad she tried to end her own life over fanart. The My Hero Academia fandom can’t decide if they want to lynch the creator or not. I did not survive the Hetalia fandom for this shit. I could go on and on and on if I wanted to. The entitlement problem with fandom on this site just broke me after Anne Rice died.

It got worse the more I thought about my own writing goals and OCs. Not only have I put myself in a position to write only for a property that I’m not as passionate about, but now I’m scared to write anything that people will like because I don’t want any fandom to treat me that way. I feel trapped between wanting to write good fanfiction and being scared that I will lose all the agency to my OCs and stories if I publish any of my drafts.

The entitlement fandom has on this site is insane.

5. Personal Life Has Grown Out Of Control

I, if you didn’t know, am a 21 year old woman attending university. I’m a history student, which means a great deal of my spare time is spent picking through insane old English, French, Latin, and drafting essay after essay. Writing and reading is mainly relegated to “Oh God, Oh Shit, This Will Take Hours” category and isn’t as fun as when I was a teenager. I still read and write on my own, but I cannot write as frequently as a fandom blog tends to require.

I have a job. I have student loans up the wazoo and I’m trying to get my life together. This will be further detailed in my new blog, but I’m trying to glow up. I’m working out more, taking care of myself, sleeping regularly, and regulating time to study and read for pleasure. It’s the best decision I have ever made, but that means I need to grow, which can be painful. The new blog will be dedicated to my goals.

6. Social Media

In general, without any exception that I’ve seen, social media is a toxic cesspool and an echo chamber. There’s no room to have a healthy conversation. You either get an endless repition of opinions like yours, further reinforcing them, or you just watch the political “debates” rage on, overall hurting your mental health.

Social media just isn’t good for people. I’m deleting tumblr off my phone and relegating myself to a little bit of time on social media, only on my laptop, so that I can still stay current and connect online without feeding a constant addiction. Isn’t healthy.

So ... that’s it for me here. I’ll leave my blog up so that if there’s anything that people like to read there’s still access to it. I’m sorry if this is upsetting or hurtful but I’m so, so tired. I need to move on to creating a blog that I can be proud of. I’ll still be active on my AO3 every now and then, but that’s going to be the last bit of Gelfling Gathering.

I’ll miss you all so much.

[lilac-city-skylines]

Being an American right now is so fucked up. Like hi I'm living my life. I'm gay. I'm doing great. My government is trying to take away my human rights. I can vote but it might not do anything because of gerrymandering. Sometimes people here deliberately spread deadly viruses because Freedom. We're told this is the best country in the world. I can't escape. I don't want to leave. I want to escape. I love the land itself. The government is like five steps from actively trying to kill me. We have brand new lawmakers who better understand the will of the people. The highest court in the nation is rigged to side with fascists. I'm graduating soon and I have an incredible life ahead of me. My planet is dying.

What the hell do I even do, man

[lilac-city-skylines]

@artemismohr18 i made myself a fairy princess and if you wanna do the same thatd be rad

This was so beautiful! Link to picrew

Tags @bookdragon1811 @avatardoggo @kaligraphy @flameozukohere and anyone else who wants to do it

[lilac-city-skylines]

The people using Anne Rice's death to talk shit about her can all go to hell tbh. Just saw someone saying "rest in piss" because of her attitude about fanfiction. Seriously? Now is not the fucking time and I can only hope people won't remember THEM for being such a piece of shit over fanfiction, of all things.

[lilac-city-skylines]

Kk so the thing about Anne Rice

Anyways let’s focus on the good shit she did

1. Reinvented the Vampire genre away from the literal homophobia that was 19th century vampire literature (like Carmilla and Dracula, where the vampires represented taboo sexuality)

2. Wrote EXPLICITLY queer stories with complicated romance between male characters

3. Had canon Ace, NB, and gender non conforming rep at a time where that was simply not a thing

4. Spoke out against bigotry in the Catholic Church

5. Advocated for artistic expression and was anti censorship of art (yeah after she got over the fan fiction thing)

6. Was a queer person herself who broke down barriers in literature no one else had the balls to

7. Iconic fashion moments

8. Helped so many young people through experiences like depression, grief, and self discovery

9. Paved the way for modern fantasy authors m, I mean the genre was completely disregarded in academic circles before interview

10. Actually wrote complex female vampires and poc vampires, which is something authors seem to have trouble with even today

11. And she really just didn’t fucking care what other people thought

[lilac-city-skylines]

So I don’t really care for Anne Rice, but it seems in pretty poor taste to be all “ding-dong the witch is dead!” about her passing away??? Like yes she took very unreasonable legal action against people who made fanfic of her stories, and I feel really bad for the people she allegedly harassed, but like. She softened her stance on it over time and was a vocal supporter of LGBTQ+ rights. She was a multi-faceted person, and yeah, sure, she might have caused harm to early fandom, but celebrating her death over something like that is frankly petty.

[lilac-city-skylines]

What do you do when someone else paint your story.. when they add their colours to your shapes, when they add their lines into your image, when they take your hand and force the strokes you don't want,. What do you do when they blur the edges How do you add your shades? How do you keep going?

[lilac-city-skylines]

I don't normally jump in on drama buuuuut I'm tired.

You guys, she had the right to do that. Anne Rice WENT TO COURT AND ESTABLISHED HER CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO DO THAT. Was it shitty? YES. Did it suck for the fandom and wider community? ABSOLUTELY. But a big fucking however, she was clearly depressed and insecure. Tumblr LOVES pushing the rhetoric of "oh protect people with mental disorders uwu! They have the right to exist!" They do. Up until its inconvenient for their fandoms.

Anne Rice wrote the Vampire Chronicles following the death of multiple family members. This series is born out of her struggles with alcoholism, depression, and several rounds of religious trauma. She clearly had a lot going on, and yeah it's shitty that she chose to take the frustration that comes with that out on the community. H O W E V E R, she had the right to do that. Was it shitty? Yeah, but everyone who Googles her for more than ten seconds can tell how deeply traumatized and insecure she was.

If someone makes an OC and stories surrounding their OC to help heal from trauma- they're ALLOWED TO DICTATE WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE CHARACTERS AND BE UPSET WHEN OTHER PEOPLE TAKE IT FROM THEM. Im not going to sit here on my soapbox and act like what she did was nice or fun, but everyone on this site is acting like she pulled some hate crime on the concept of fandom overall. Just because her OCs and stories were popular suddenly its okay? Its shitty that she didn't just take it in stride and loads of other creators are more flattered than offended at fanfiction but thats how she chose to work it out. Fanfiction has always been risky and weird but don't you dare act like Anne Rice dealing with her trauma is some act of violence.

Good news! You can finally stop worrying about being sued by Anne Rice. 

[lilac-city-skylines]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE MORONS IN THE BACK

Holy shit, I know Anne Rice was eccentric and had some highly problematic views on copyright, but can you guys save that discourse for literally any other day? She contributed some really important queer representation to the horror genre.

It's fucked up to dance on someone's grave because you feel entitled to their IP, especially when her surviving gay son (who now owns it) is extremely kind to fans and supportive of fanfic. Who do you think is more likely to see your tirades, the ghost of Anne, or the living queer person who just lost his mom, who he was very close to?

I understand being mad at Anne, what she did was shitty. But look outside yourselves for five seconds and read the damn room.

#the entitlement yall have is disgusting #believe me a good chunk of why im logging off is the entitlement folks have to other peoples IPs #when yall KNEW anne rice was depressed and recovering from tauma #guess being okay with the darker side of mental illness is only okay if its convienient for you

[lilac-city-skylines]

Bless you and everything you stand for I've never been happier to have mutuals than I am right now ❤❤❤

@lilac-city-skylines

* slides books across the table*

[lilac-city-skylines]

Just gonna drop this announcement now - im logging off of my blog probably for good. I AM NOT DELEATING OR DEACTIVATING IT.

There's many reasons for this and there should be a long-form post coming soon that details all of why.

In addition- im mainly shifting to a new blog that will be tagged in the long-form post in case anyone is interested in transferring over.

[lilac-city-skylines]

[lilac-city-skylines]

hello Mr. Gaiman! would you please tell my depression to fuck off?

I can try.

Dear Depression, please fuck off. Begin by fucking off, continue to fuck off, and about the point where you think perhaps it's time to stop fucking off and come back, then just fuck off some more.

[lilac-city-skylines]

Matt created an important update. 

[ Matt Bors ]

[lilac-city-skylines]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT ANNE RICE IS DEAD????

gonna go write some fanfic to honour anne rice’s memory, rip 

#my gay vampire lit??? #where the fuck do i go to get that now???? #TELL ME WHERE I GET MY HOMOSEXUAL GOTH VAMPIRE LITERATURE NOW GOD

[lilac-city-skylines]

NO FUCKING WAY

gonna go write some fanfic to honour anne rice’s memory, rip 

[lilac-city-skylines]

WAIT IS ANNE RICE DEAD????

gonna go write some fanfic to honour anne rice’s memory, rip 

#my literary inspiration??? #did i just find this out from a fucking TUMBLR POST??? #nonono