limestonegod

[limestonegod]

Full video here of this gastropod-specialized snake actually eating the snail, I just think these first few seconds are the new funniest thing in the world somehow

[limestonegod]

I have eaten

the peaches

that were in

the light syrup

and which

you were probably

craving

for years

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

Costco has these artisanal peaches. My betrothed and I first had them while staying with some friends. They’re the platonic ideal of what an amazing peach should be. They’re peeled and preserved in juice whole, and somehow they taste slightly like vanilla.

When we got home from our visit we picked up a jar for ourselves. They lasted a good long while. We finally went to get more- and they were gone. I was devastated. That was two years ago.

Every Costco trip since then has included a hopeful look for the amazing peaches. I never stopped dreaming they’d come back.

My health has gotten better and with my improved energy I’ve finally been able to take over some of the chores. So when my betrothed lamented not having time for a Costco trip last week I volunteered to go alone.

I was meandering down the aisle and then I saw them. The peaches. The promised fruit I had been denied for two years, perfect and golden in that Costco aisle. Orchestral music swelled in my mind and everything around me faded away as I beelined toward them.

I was stricken with peach madness. I got four jars. Sitting in the car afterward I tallied the expense. The peaches were fully a quarter of the Costco bill. I texted my betrothed to apologize for absolutely losing my head. They reassured me over and over that it was a luxury I deserved to indulge and that it was okay.

Tonight while holding a dripping perfect peach in my hands, eating it while standing over the counter, each bite the exact ripeness to have a little give but not too much, and my mouth full of vanilla and peaches I contemplated going to buy more.

#william carlos williams #this is just to say #peaches

[limestonegod]

maybe whistleblowers just happen to come forward around the time they're about to die. no one ever considers that

[limestonegod]

Nature is healing

[limestonegod]

tatsuki fujimoto

[limestonegod]

[limestonegod]

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

[limestonegod]

the whole point of a zine is that it's cheap to produce, amateur and homemade. if you're being asked to apply to participate in a print project, it is not a zine. if the final product is being printed and bound professionally, it is not a zine. if you are being asked to enter into any kind of licensing agreement more complex than "my work can be reproduced as part of this publication" it is not a zine. nine times put of ten if the final product costs more than $5 you have left zine country. im so serious about this.

[limestonegod]

[limestonegod]

"the prefrontal cortex doesn't fully form until yr 25!!" y do u wish to take more agency away from teens and young adults. y do u refer to phrenology to inform yr worldview. I'm about to undevelop yr prefrontal cortex with a baseball bat if u don't shut the fuck up

[limestonegod]

Going to a local burger joint is like entering a weird comedy sketch on its own.

[limestonegod]

I had a dream that I went to a video rental store (???) and they had a gundam manga where everything was the same except the entire cast was cambrian creatures (?????)

[limestonegod]

anyone else hyped for the probably upcoming eruption of T coronae borealis (T CrB) the recurring nova in the constellation corona borealis

[limestonegod]

I would also love for it to be antler shadows or abstract tattoos but I know for a fact I would end up with bug bites. That just already happens to me.

Congratulations! You are now a Magic-User!!

[limestonegod]

story about a lake i did recently. text formatting is based on the CBC’s closed captioning style guide.

[limestonegod]

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

[limestonegod]

I know I’ve said this before but vampires

don’t show up on camera

can fly/scale walls

immune to bullets

can break into any safe by turning into fog or some bullshit

could probably hypnotize security guards as needed

therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums