lionblaze03-2

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cowpaw long legs @thylacid

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he is haunted by this

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Shout out to the ten primate species, four bat species, elephant shrews, and the Cairo spiny mouse. Nobody else gets it

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Poorly drawn Charmander line.

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Secret keeper, and baby Moonwatcher. Then moon and kinkajou in the rainforest river

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The return of the bots

Tonight on #nosciencereviews: not even AI, those cheap scripted chatbots are back. Or maybe they were around all the time just not around me? I wish @staff would do more about them but yeah, wishful thinking... Until then you can have limited fun watching them going on with their dumb yet probably effective script, trying to lure you to Google Chat or Whatsapp and then, your guess.

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I got a mental health wellness app and decided my first entry was going to be about a videogame I played that day

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😳

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Under PENALTY of INSTANT DEATH do NOT make blackout poetry of my posts. It is improper behavior and makes me wanna explode. You will receive 80 concussions. Don't make me spell it out again

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[ID: a rough doodle of a grimacing person, labelled "me," opening a bottle of sparkling cider, labelled "cider that apparently got shookened." the bottle shoots a blast of cider, labelled "Beam Attack," at a cat, labelled "gertrude."]

#If the person who wrote that tag has never seen the pictures of gertrude #She literally does look like that. In real life. 70 year old war vet face

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#Me always trying to remember what my friends are doing in school

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im not a very patriotic woman but i nonetheless whole-heartedly support every drive-through employee’s constitutional right to be blazed out of their fuckin gourd

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Sometimes an extremely stupid thought comes to you and you go ‘yeah sure I’ll make art about that’

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The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

#Damn girl

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Had a 'fun' new experience today in the form of my first ever mammogram because I found a lump on my chest a few weeks ago, and when you find a lump, you get that shit checked out.

Ironically, the lump I went to get investigated turned out to be nothing, likely just a cyst that made its way to the surface, but they did find something else on the scan that requires me to do a follow-up ultrasound in six months. The doctor stressed that it is most likely a fibroid, but given my family history of breast cancer and general weird health fuckery, they're being vigilant and keeping an eye on it.

The mammogram itself was fine. The technician doing it kept complimenting me on the "pliable" nature of my breast tissue and how easy it was to smoosh me into the machine. I was like thanks, I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome; my body is basically made of only slightly more reinforced laffy taffy.

She said, "That explains that," and then proceeded to smush my tits into a pancake. Apparently, they were the most compliant tits she's worked with. I said thank you because what else can you do in that situation. And then she asked me if I wanted to know how much they weighed, and I said boy, do I?!

So she started reading off the results and was like, "17.7 lbs," and I was like, gosh, no wonder they feel so heavy, and then she kept talking and said, "And the other one weighs..."

And that's when I realized she didn't mean total.

She meant one boob was 17.7lbs.

So in case you've ever wanted to know, my right boob weighs 17.7 lbs, and my left one weighs 17.3 lbs, bringing the grand weight hanging off my chest to an even 35 lbs.

The tech was like "gosh! That's a lot for someone of your size!" and I was like "ya fucking think?!"

For a frame of reference, I weigh 136 lbs total. One-quarter of my weight is tits.

I am one-quarter titty.

And I'm telling that to the next doctor who suggests I lose weight.

Anyway. Remember to do regular breast exams, and don't be afraid of mammograms. Yes, they're checking for cancer, but they also tell you fun things like how much your chest weighs and whether or not your boobs are compliant.

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This is probably how it'd go yeah? 😂

Continuation of this