The story of how I got a vibrator stuck inside me
Discovery number one:
Apparently when I get high I'm super ticklish. Like to the point of ridiculosity. Boyfriend and I are trying to fool around and he touches me and i'm like EEEHEEEHEEEEHEEEEHEEEEEEEEE STAAAAAHP
Discovery number two:
Given the implications of discovery number one, it was a BAD idea to try messing around with a vibrator, particularly one that was larger on the end than it was on the length of it. For when I am turned on, the vibe slides in fairly easily, but when I am turned off (like when i'm being tickled) it is IMPOSSIBLE TO REMOVE
AND THEN WE SEARCHED GOOGLE FOR HELP
AND WE FOUND FORUMS AND FORUMS OF DUDES TRYING TO REMOVE VARIOUS ITEMS FROM THEIR BUTTS
AND NOW I CANT STOP LAUGHING AND I'LL NEVER BE HORNY AGAIN
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I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH
WITH MY OWn mouth
softly
because i like you
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basically i dont care if you drink smoke or do drugs as long as you can hold a conversation about something besides the fact that you drink smoke or do drugs
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i just wanna go on road trips and make out
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"ur bra strap is showing" u say
children begin to scream
tears r streaming down my face
my parents disown me and sell me to a shady, moustached man for three goats
no one can ever kno i wear a bra
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There’s an amazing sense of liberation when you get a pixie cut that you can’t get from anything else
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hello tumblr i apologize for my absence I was too busy making out with my boyfriend and waking up to him snuggling me each morning
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I need to get my boyfriend one of these
my mom bought me a light up fedora
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Hold me in peace while sleeping
Wake me with the sun's smiling
With pure water slake my thirst
Let me be merry in your love
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(Tragic by abbyclaussen)
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Ash and Pikachu from Pokemon Yellow Version on the back of my calves.
Done by Joe Villa at Birthmarx Tattoo in Richland, WA.
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