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Anatomical Venus I

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I know it's early but I decided to make this for all you early artists!If you use please just give me credit or tag me!I would love to see what y'all come up for goretober!! I'll also be using this so heads up everyone!!

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Feel free to use, repost, whatever! No need to credit!

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I hate remembering things that I wish id forget.

I wish my brain would leave me alone and stop thinking about every little thing ive ever done wrong. On one hand i know its just intrusive thoughts but on the other i think i should have to live with the burden because everything bad ive done should weigh me down. I shouldnt be allowed to get a break. Ive hurt too many people.

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alt legspo 🌱

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reblogging this to remind myself again

Things to do instead of eating

I made this as a master list with heading so I can find things easier, because god knows I need it

General

Look at your daily calories

Look at thinspo

Drink a soda water / Diet Coke

Watch supersize vs. Super skinny

Exercise!!!

Productive things

Write a to do list

Write out some goals, and plan how to achieve them in detail

Research things like law of attraction

Do homework

Make yourself an in depth schedule for different days of the week, use it or dont

Clean your room

Learn a new/continue learning a language

Do some laundry & folding

Exercise

Purge unused clothing, makeup etc.

Declutter your workspace

Clean the bathroom (you won’t feel like eating)

Organize a bookshelf

Update Spotify playlists

Add Netflix shows to your list

Go through your photos

Wellness/Self care

Make a pinterest board

Meditate

Do some yoga

Take a bath

Do a face mask

Stretch

Shave your legs very nicely, put on lotion

Exercise

Paint your nails

Take a nap

Curl your hair

Listen to Spotify

Activities

Make pinterest boards of you dream style

Go online shopping

Make a slideshow of the aesthetic(s) you want

Play video games

Make a friendship bracelet

Watch a movie

Make a list of movies to watch

Practice a new type of handwriting

Pick out outfits

Play poptropica

Write angry emails to your teachers, then delete them

Copy out lyrics to song you love

Learn the alphabet backwards

Write pen pal letters

Colour in a colouring book

Learn the choreography to a kpop dance

Read a book

Research your dream job

Sew some scrunchies

Paint

Learn Morse code

Write a wish list, add photos

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all it should take if you’re disciplined enough is three to four months. you’ll be at you goal weight in four months.

the food will still be there in four months. mcdonald’s will still exist in four months. that donut place will still be there after four months. food won’t leave, it’ll still be there when you’re skinny. why eat it now? why not eat it when you’ve reached your goal?

[ what i tell myself every time. ]

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I want people to feel my ribs through my shirt when they hug me and notice how small and delicate I have become

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Edward Delandre

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here’s my rule list!! trying my absolute hardest to stick to it

if i do, i should be at my ugw by my birthday 🌷

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You ever get the urge to just ruin your life? Start drinking, smoking, doing hard drugs. Telling everyone you know to fuck off. Cut until you’re covered with angry marks. You know it won’t help anything. But you can’t help but dream about it.

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I cant wait for school to start so it can be easier to avoid food :/

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anyone else notice how they say or think things ed related and they have to remind themselves it’s not normal?

like i was watching to the bone and i’m like omg i wish i was as thin as her? like the movie is supposed to scare you and it motivates me?

or i’ll meet someone new and i’m my head try and calculate how much they weigh? i’ll never say it aloud because that’s so rude but why! big or small i try and figure out their height and weight or bmi? if someone did that to me i’d cry.

or i’ll find weird body parts attractive. not like feet fetishes or whatever lol but i’ll be like woah she has really nice collarbones or knuckles? like that’s so fucking weird to be thinking of someone knuckles!

i also constantly think about food. even when i’m eating i’m still thinking of my next meal and how to avoid it or eat as little as possible.

i’ll also eat the most disgusting foods. bone broth? rice cakes? green tea? black coffee? i hate all of those things and honestly it’s so bland and gross. but sugar and spices are usually too high.

that’s another thing- i use calories like a point system. today i had a popsicle and i ate it within like 10 mins and i caught myself thinking ‘that was the worst waste of 70 cals ever’? kind of like spending money- the temptation, the guilt and repeat.

or when someone says ‘i haven’t eaten in five hours i’m starving!’ and me on my 20th hour of fasting has to be like ‘yeah omg that’s the worstttt’

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A MESSAGE TO SELF:

TW: Meanspo!!

You had ONE job. Stop eating so fucking much. All you had to do is say no to food, and follow your restrictions. But you didn't. You could have avoided eating so much at the party, but you CHOSE not to. You could have stayed away from the fridge, but you DECIDED to go. You could have stayed home instead of going out for icecream, but you SAID YES..Now look at you. Your stomach is bloated and disgusting. I've bet you've gained weight. Do you want to gain weight again??? Do you want to be made fun of again? Criticized by everyone around you? Invisible to the people you like? To be the ugly fat friend? Because it seems like you do. You don't even count your calories, like a lazy pig. Do better next time. Put in some effort, and then you'll see results. Maybe then you'll actually be worth something.