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The Half Hour s05e05 – Aparna Nancherla

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Hallstatt, Austria (by Fotos RR)

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what she says: I'm fine

what she means: What the fuck kind of custody arrangement does The Parent Trap family have? Whose idea was it to take one kid each and never speak to each other again? Never even tell the daughter they're raising that they're a twin? Nobody hates their ex-spouse that much, and if you do you definitely don't want that person raising one of your kids. Why are the extended family and friends going along with this? Were they sworn to secrecy? Why? How did they choose who would take which twin? Did they both just have a clear favorite? How do you not eat yourself alive with guilt over a decision like that? Why did they make it in the first place? Did a judge make the decision? Who the fuck was THAT guy? Either the family in The Parent Trap have some incredibly dark secrets that weren't explored in the movies (original or remake) or they're the worst "good" parents in fictional family history.

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I love how, because of that “Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure” Onion headline, “cinnamon roll” has become a commonly accepted phrase for “a character who is cute and kind and typically gets more pain in canon than they deserve”.

Like, we didn’t have a real phrase for that common phenomenon (wubbie maybe, but that has negative connotations ie “this character has been wubbiefied by the fandom”) and then someone used a screenshot of a headline from a satire news website to describe it, and then everyone else was like “yes good let’s use this”. You couldn’t make that shit up. I bet there are people who use that phrase now who didn’t even see that headline.

Language is evolving right before our eyes in a very weird and beautiful way and I am very very sorry for future linguist who have to puzzle this shit out.  

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Cat Hats

All photos via Reddit. Please click on each one for individual credit.

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I have a feeling this will become iconic in due time.  

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Obwalden, Switzerland (by Alexander Burkhardt)

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