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luna-tyrell · 2 months

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So Far Away ✦ Ch. 1 " Causes and Consequences "

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

Masterlist

Prologue ✦ Chapter 2

Tags/Warnings: f!reader, angst, slowburn (?), toxic relationship, depression, smoking, alcohol use, sexual content, more tags to be added.

Word Count: 1476

Date: 11.03.2024

My native language is not English, and I don't claim that my grammar or narrative style is good, but I hope you like it. Sorry for the mistakes <3

I placed the dirty dishes on the empty table onto the tray in my hand. It was one of those not-too-busy days at the cafe, it wouldn't be a very tiring day under normal circumstances. If it were normal.

My current situation would be more bearable if the still unhealed wounds of my recently ended relationship had treated me more gently when it came to my sleep at night. It wasn't easy, it ended because my boyfriend of two years cheated on me with my best friend. I couldn't even tell yet whether what I was sad about was losing him or being made a fool of. I needed time, but I didn't know how much. There were a few problems that time could not solve.

When I heard the small bell ringing the cafe door and raised my head, I felt my head begin to go numb.

Yes, some time would be nice.

Audrey had entered, snorting with her right eyebrow raised, and was coming towards me.

"Did you change the lock?" She was ridiculously angry, but it was obvious she was trying to keep it to herself so as not to attract attention. "Is that really the first thing you did?"

"Yes, but I don't understand why you were so surprised." I was trying hard to keep my voice emotionless. "What would you like me to do? Give you a spare key so you can use it while I'm away?" I laughed mockingly. "I think I've already completed this mission."

She ignored my comment. "I have stuff in that house, you can't do that."

"It's not your home anymore, Audrey, so I can do whatever I want," I spoke through my teeth. "You can't talk to me like that after going behind my back and fucking my boyfriend. You can come over when we're both free, grab your fucking stuff and get the fuck out."

She looked at me as if she couldn't believe me. "Don't you think you're exaggerating a little? You're not the first person to be cheated on."

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Just the dream of picking up any of the chairs and throwing it at her head was incredibly beautiful. “Because if you don’t leave, I’m about to commit a murder at any moment.”

Audrey’s eyes narrowed, a mixture of disbelief and fury simmering beneath the surface. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Her voice was low, barely containing the rage coursing through her veins. “You’re pathetic.”

The words struck a nerve, but I refused to let her see the impact they had. "Coming from the one who's been sneaking around with my boyfriend, that's rich." My voice dripped with sarcasm.

Audrey scoffed, her fists clenching at her sides. "You're delusional if you think I had anything to do with your breakup. Maybe if you weren't so controlling, he wouldn't have strayed."

The accusation hit me like a slap in the face. "Control—" I started, but the words caught in my throat as I struggled to contain the rising tide of emotions threatening to consume me. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Whatever." Audrey waved a dismissive hand, her tone dripping with disdain. "I don't have time for this nonsense. I'll come back for my stuff later." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the cafe, leaving me seething with anger and humiliation.

As the door slammed shut behind her, I felt a hot rush of tears stinging my eyes. How dare she waltz in here, acting like she's the victim? How dare she try to twist the truth to suit her own agenda?

I felt like the air that had become tense due to the argument we had was tearing my lungs apart as I breathed. Since I knew I couldn't leave the place at that moment, I ignored the few customers who were casting furtive glances at me. Taking a shaky breath, I forced myself to focus on the task at hand, but every dish I washed, every table I wiped down, only served as a cruel reminder of what I had lost. The weight of betrayal hung heavy in the air, making it difficult to breathe, let alone concentrate on my work.

“Why do you look like you could throw up on lemon cheesecake at any moment?” I was startled by the unexpected voice coming from behind me. "I agree they aren't the best in the culinary history, but they can't be bad enough to deserve you to hate them this much." Claire had taken off her jacket and was hanging it on the hanger on the wall next to the employee lockers.

“I just feel a little tired.” I lied.

Claire gave me a skeptical look, her eyebrows knitting together in concern. "Are you sure that's all it is? You look like you've been through a war."

I shook my head, trying to dismiss her observation. "It's nothing, really. Just a rough day."

She didn't seem convinced, but thankfully didn't press further. Instead, she changed the subject. "Well, if you need to talk or anything, you know where to find me."

I managed a weak smile, grateful for her offer of support. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Besides, your shift is over, you can leave." She took away the cloth I used to wipe the empty tables. "Go home and get some rest." With that said, my physical and emotional tiredness fell on my shoulders again like a curse. I bid farewell to her and hung up my apron, took my things and left the cafe.

As I stepped into my apartment, the emptiness of the space hit me like a punch to the gut. I could handle being leaved by my boyfriend or even cheated on. As Audrey said, I wasn't the first to experience this. What bothered me was that the person who did this was my so-called best friend, with whom I spent almost the last ten years.

Maybe if you weren't so controlling, he wouldn't have strayed.

Am I controlling?

No.

So, was I the one who was guilty in the court they set up in their own minds to exonerate themselves?

Or was it me trying to justify myself?

I've never claimed to be a good girlfriend. I would almost always forget important dates like anniversaries and birthdays. I was terrible at gifts. I wasn't even a romantic person. I couldn't even remember the last time I felt jealousy, I would never put pressure on who or where he was when he wasn't with me because I really didn't care. I would be content to know what he wanted me to know.

Could I have prevented this if I were controlling him?

I was clearly not controlling, was this the cause rather than the problem?

I never claimed to be a good girlfriend, but I was a good friend. Audrey couldn't deny it. She couldn't even say a single bad thing I had done to her until today. I didn't even break her heart once. I was always here for her, I was with her under all circumstances. There was no payback I expected. I didn't have any sneaky plans. I just expected some loyalty and support.

I collapsed onto the couch, feeling utterly defeated. The events of the day replayed in my mind like a broken record, each moment of confrontation and heartache cutting deeper than the last.

The logical part of me was angry. I knew I shouldn't let what they did and said affect me.

But it was out of my hands.

I don't know how long I sat on the couch and stared at the empty wall, but when I heard the message tone of my phone, the sunlight coming from the window had disappeared and the dim glow of the street lamps was illuminating my living room.

Why was it so easy to ruin good - okay, almost good - moments?

I was imagining destiny as a grumpy old lady who liked to mess with people. Grumbling in her creaky rocking chair, she was knitting a never-ending blanket for herself with the threads of our lives. For some reason, my thread always felt like it was being used in the most complicated stitches.

I took my phone out of the back pocket of my trousers. After looking at the message, I regretted it. I should have left it on silent.

From: Haley can you explain to me why audrey was probing brian's tonsils with her tongue?

I really should have left my phone on silent. I should have even thrown it into an ocean or something. I wondered what kind of conflict I could possibly be in with the universe that I didn't deserve even a calm moment.

Sometimes I really wanted to kill that grumpy old lady.

#Simon Ghost Riley #Simon Ghost Riley x reader #Simon Riley x reader #Ghost x reader #f!reader #Simon Riley #cod mw2 #call of duty

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luna-tyrell · 4 months

Text

So Far Away ✦ Prologue

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Tags/Warnings: f!reader, angst, slowburn (?), toxic relationship, depression, smoking, alcohol use, sexual content, more tags to be added.

Word Count: 444

Date: 10.01.2024

Sorry for mistakes <3

A feeling of guilt.

I think this was the feeling I experienced most often in my life. The burden of failing when I had the chance to change things.

I could change everything. I could have prevented this endless distance between us from widening day by day. I might not be regretting every moment I was afraid to touch him or get close to him.

I should have made smarter decisions.

But if I'm the only one who wants it, is it really worth the effort?

"You're thinking too much." he said as he picked up his t-shirt from the floor and wore it. "I can hear the wheels turning in your mind."

“Are you leaving?” I asked, choosing to ignore his comment.

He picked up his jacket lying on the floor at the other end of the room and started going through his pockets as if checking something. "Is there a reason why you persistently ask this question even though you get the same answer every time?"

I rolled my eyes. “Do you need to try so hard to be an ass?”

"Who said I tried?" He lifted his mask over his nose, grabbed me under my chin, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips before turning around and walking out of the room. "That's part of my charm that you can't resist."

From the moment he walked out the door, I heard neither footsteps nor the sound of the door closing. It would always be like this. He'd show up at my door out of nowhere, we'd have a good time, or so I thought, and then he'd leave when he decided he was bored of me.

Asshole.

Simon was an interesting man. He is truly the most interesting person I have ever met, with his mask that I have never seen him without it except for the rare nights he agreed to take it off on condition that the curtains and lights were closed, with his voice that softens only when fucking me and only for a moment makes me think as if he loves me and with his sudden mood changes and his ability to introduce himself to you without revealing anything about himself.

The person who makes me feel like there is a huge hole in the middle of my heart. The man I mourn every time he leaves and makes me feel like I couldn't be happier every time he comes back.

A feeling of guilt.

Do I hate myself enough to put myself through this?

Do I love myself enough to wish to change the past?

Do I love myself more than I love him?

#Simon Ghost Riley #Simon Ghost Riley x reader #Simon Riley x reader #f!reader #Ghost x reader

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