madgeniusminusthegenius

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

What I really want is to spill out my guts. And what’s in my gut, aside from this disgusting desire to be loved? Disgusting, because impossible. Impossible, because I resent myself.

My mother resents my father, too. That’s a tough pill to swallow—knowing the person who loved my dad the longest also resents him.

I am my father. I know I am.

For a moment, I held hope that I might find love like my mother’s for my father. But that's not how the story ends. Resentment always surfaces, the same pattern laid bare.

After all, I am my father.

He doesn’t know how to weave a different pattern, only the one he was taught. My mother's influence is strong, yet here I am, still my father. I brace for resentment. I will love wrong and be resented.

Isn’t it horrifying? I am my father.

He is a good man, except when he is like me, or I am like him. Stitched from the same pattern.

There’s privilege in being loved by my father, but it comes with expectations. The taller your father, the smaller you are—the higher you must climb to be seen. And your mother will carry you on her shoulders until you’re grown. Then you must figure out, how do I get there for him to see me? My father is a good man, but he is too tall, his eyes cost me.

His love is a summit, these are the conditions. My mother encourages me from the bottom. My father judges from the top.

Do you understand?

I need excuses to justify who I am. I must apologize to the world. I am me. I am so sorry that I am me. Give me permission to be me. I am climbing. Look, Dad, I'm succeeding—do you notice?

I have desecrated my body, and I’ll apologize yet again for this. But am I pretty, still? You created me, didn’t you?

Am I allowed to exist yet, Dad?

#sobbing #right after i had an argument with him too

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

Reblog your own work. I cannot stress this enough. Reblog it, queue it, and keep doing it over and over again. Don’t be embarrassed or shy. With the shitty search/tag function on tumblr, the different time zones we’re all on, the fact we’ve all got busy lives and we might not check in sometimes - there’s so many reasons that people may miss things.

So, keep sharing your work. Because you never know who might miss something or who might want to enjoy it for a second/third/fourth etc time.

This is just a silly post to say, I love when people keep sharing their work over and over again on here. Gives us all a chance to enjoy it and keep enjoying it. 💖

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

Damian: They were annoying, it almost triggered my fight or fight response.

Tim: You mean fight or flight?

Damian: No, I mean fight or fight. I’m not a damn bird, Drake.

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

"Why can't the freaks on AO3 just go and make a site for all the gross stuff and leave AO3 alone."

Because AO3 is that site. Because AO3 was that site long before you decided AO3 was better than the sites you bullied us off of before, and I can promise you if someone somehow comes up with a fanfic site you like better specifically for the 'gross stuff' you'll try to bully us off that too so you can benefit from it.

AO3's specific core purpose is to preserve fanfiction, yes, but it was also instigated as a host site for the fanfiction that kept getting yeeted off other platforms like Wattpad. Its designed to preserve all fanfiction, not just the fanfiction you, personally, think is 'allowed' to be written.

AO3 is the site for all the gross stuff the freaks make. We've been there just as long as you. We've been funding it just as long as you have. AO3 has specifically said you have a place here. The timeline was literally:

Wattpad/FF.net/LiveJournal purge fanfics > AO3 is born > The people who's fics got purged moved over to AO3 > AO3 gains popularity as the best functioning site > The people who pushed for the fics to be purged off Wattpad move to AO3 > The same people try to push for AO3 to purge fics.

AO3's source coding is open-access. You go make a polished, strict, rigid site where nothing 'icky' is allowed. You go make a site where you can control what is hosted. We already have our space.

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

its so awesome that everything good that happens to me has to be followed by immense suffering of some kind every single time

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

The only good thing staff added recently

Mutuals we are doing this

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

Tim: Okay, so I know this is a crazy thing to ask, but if I turned evil, would you guys-

Bart: Follow you so you can run away at the drop of a hat?

Kon: Team up with you so you can always be heard if you need help?

Cassie: Join you so I can help you kick ass?

Tim:

Bart, Kon and Cassie:

Tim: So, who wants to go mess with Ra's-

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

Damian: I'm running away! Tim: And where are you going to go? Dick's place? Bruce will know where to find you. Damian: There's one other place where he won't think to look! [later on] Damian: *knocking* Jason, opening the door: Why are you here? Damian: I'm running away and I don't want father to find me. Jason, stepping aside: You came to the right place.

#Lmao this can have a double meaning

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

my half of an art trade with @marmaladeclown ^_^

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

Twitter people complaining about art heist baby and how u gave the women no personality whatsoever

there is not a single fanfiction in the marauders fandom that someone on twitter hasn't complained about. i know that this ask wasn't sent with good intentions whatsoever (along with the slew of other ones that you or others have been sending me since december) but i am going to say this. one time.

to paint ALL of the women in art heist baby as underdeveloped w no personality is extremely reductive. to say that all of the male characters in art heist baby were perfectly developed and fully fleshed-out characters is also reductive. i DO think that some of the characters are undeveloped in art heist. but not exclusively the women. to make that claim as some sort of moral argument/virtue signalling call for justification on why art heist is bad or why you are so much better than somebody else for not liking it is ridiculous and i would argue, unfounded. it is okay not to like things just because you don't like them.

furthermore, fanfiction is a place for BEGINNERS and AMATEURS to try out writing and to explore storytelling as hobby. nobody is going to be perfect at it their first go, and i certainly wasn't. sometimes it's not an "art heist baby is misogynist" issue and it's more of a "nat was trying to write 11 different characters all at the same time as a first time writer" issue. some of my characters were undeveloped, yes. but not just the women. but how is this, in any way, encouraging new people, or even repeat fanfic authors, to write stories if the baseline demand is that they be perfect at it? if the initial assumption is that the author has some moral or ethical failing for making common writing mistakes as a beginner? it hardly encourages anyone to try again or to try at all.

at the end of the day, people on twitter are going to complain and pick apart and be generally negative because that's how they get the most interaction and engagement. and i can talk until i'm blue in the face about how consumption of media in any form but ESPECIALLY fanfic consumption is not political praxis. nor is it a substitute for political praxis, but again, the target audience for that rant would not give a fuck. and finally. art heist baby is a jegulus fanfiction first and foremost. of course all the other characters are going to be fucking background side characters. they are not the stars of the show. enough of this.

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

babe are u okay ur crying about closeness lines over time by olivia de recat again

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers!

ooooo lets see:

drawing

fluffy socks (loml)

listening to music late at night

waking up earlier than the alarm and just laying in for a bit

days with no tasks to do

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

not now mom i’m wasting my life on a website the entire internet believes to be dead

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

[madgeniusminusthegenius]

One thing I like about Narnia is how much grace it extends towards its characters.I feel like, in a less kind fairytale, Edmund or Eustace would’ve been left to their fates, made into a cautionary tale. Instead, they’re saved, they’re given a second chance, and even their failures are used to further some ultimate Good.