makadelikz

[makadelikz]

the secret circle 3/19/2018

   The Secret Circle I love you Lacey Maree

CHAPTER ONE:

The day is April 9th, 2012. My dad picked me up from school today; he said he was going to tell me something he has been waiting my whole life to tell me. Something at one point he thought it would be best if I never knew. So I am really nervous as we sit in the car for almost  five minutes without saying a word. He looks over at me and says “So how was school?” I say “It was fun, as usual… because I’m the average cool kid, father.” then I looked at him and giggled. He said “Oh really now, what did you do?” I said “Oh you know, the usual, skipping class and smoking meth.” He says “Sounds like a damn good day.” and then we both start laughing. My dad and I have always had this type of relationship. We joke around a lot and we are never too serious. We are very close, and my dad has never ever been too strict. My dad is not only the world’s greatest daddy he is my best friend. Everything about me he knows, I never kept a secret from him. He has never kept a secret from me, at least I think. As I am just dying with curiosity waiting for what he said he was going to tell me, I pick at my fingernails.

SCREEEEEEEEEECH!!!!! BANG!!!! Just within seconds my entire life took a drastic turn, and for the worse.

CHAPTER TWO:

"Daddy!! Daddy! Please WAKE UP!! DADDY!!" I’m stuck in my seatbelt and I can’t move, my father is barely awake but he’s conscious. We sit as uncomfortably in an upside down car as possible. I say “Daddy, please hold my hand.” I feel him grab my hand and hold it as tightly as he could. He said as he was gasping for breath “Lacey, it’s too late. Take this necklace.” I say “Too late for what daddy!? Please stay awake it’s going to be okay daddy please.” He says staring into my eyes “I love you Lacey Maree.” I stare back into his while tears instantly build into rivers streaming down my face falling down from my eyes. I stare back at my dad and watch the life get sucked out of his beautifully green eyes, and I start to cry louder and harder as if nobody could hear me. I start cursing out the heavens. I blamed God for it all. Just moments after watching my dad perish right before me; a firefighter is pulling me out of the car. I try to hold on to my father’s hand as tightly as possible while screaming “NO, no, DADDY!!” but soon I felt the unbearable feeling of just his fingertips; then, nothing. My whole universe was empty, numb, and silent.

CHAPTER THREE:

Four days go by. The day is Saturday, April 13th, 2012. Family and friends gather near the oak tree in the early spring breeze at Belmont Cemetery. I stay silent. I stay isolated. I stay numb. I’m sitting in the front next to my dad’s closest friend whose name is Sean. He was always like a second father to me whenever my dad was out of town for work.  I always called him Uncle Flann though, because of his surname, Flannery. I can’t even speak to him at this moment. I speak to nobody. A lot of people stood out of their seats, and walked to the podium to tell everyone what they will remember my dad by, and what my dad meant to them, and how they were close to my dad. I can’t even think of anything to say. So many memories race around my brain. If I got up there I would be up there for days explaining to everyone that no one here is as affected as I am. He was the only parent I had for sixteen years. As I walk up to the podium, I choke up and couldn't say anything, the audience stays silent, I start to run away from the crowd in tears, but Uncle Flann grabs my arm and holds me tightly. If he wasn’t standing there behind me while I was at the podium I probably would have fainted. I don’t want to see any one’s reaction. I don't need people's pity. Now it is time where everyone drops the roses into the casket. I’m at the back of the line and the only one with the red rose, everyone else has white. As I get up to the casket it is the first time I am seeing his lifeless body since the day of the crash. I feel my legs get weak, I feel my stomach turn and my heart drop, and I feel my emotions spin around my head. I throw down the last rose and say “Please watch over me.”

CHAPTER FOUR:

Uncle Flann takes me to the courthouse to meet my dad’s lawyer and to hear his will, which I am surprised he even had one at such a young age. My dad was only thirty-eight years old. My dad’s girlfriend, Uncle Flann, and I sit in the lawyer’s office waiting for him to read off my dad’s will. All of my dad’s money was given to me, every single cent of it. I noticed his money hungry girlfriend wasn’t too stoked to hear that. My dad left his house in my name, which I could physically own when I was eighteen. I could not access any of the money until I was eighteen as well, but the lawyer reassured me that nobody else was allowed access to it. My dad also stated that I had to go live with my real uncles, Matt and Alex, in Charlesport, Washington.  Right after the lawyer was done reading the will he handed me a box that my dad left me, it was the only item I got from his will that I was allowed to physically access at my current age. There is a letter taped to the box written in my dad’s handwriting. On the cover of the enevelope it says "Open when you're alone." So I did as exactly what my father stated; I got home that night and went to my room. I waited to open it. I was kind of scared to. I just kept staring at it, thinking to myself what could possibly be in this box and why do I have to open it in privacy? I thought to myself that maybe what lies inside this box is probably what he was he was going to tell me about the day he died. I read the letter first:

“Dear Lacey,

If you are reading this that unfortunately means I am no longer living, and for that I am really, really sorry. Just know that I have faith in you, and I know you will make the right choices, and do the right things. Inside this box lies things that is a part of your life, your job is to learn how to use them properly and I am sorry for never telling you about any of this. Please forgive me on that selfish action. I didn’t want this life for you, but I am gone now because I ran away from this life, when I was destined to be a part of it. Please don’t mess up like I did. You can’t run away from fate. So please don’t try. There is a boy in Charlesport that you will meet, and you will eventually fall in love with him. Don’t second guess yourself the universe tends to unfold as it should, so I am not going to tell you his name, because it is meant to happen, so it will happen. I know by this point of the letter you are highly confused. Just please understand this, running away from what is written in the stars won’t get you very far. If something was meant to happen, it will indeed happen. Sometimes running away from fate will cause death for maybe you, or someone close to you, but we both know that now. You have the ability to accomplish great, unbelievable things, you just got to learn how to do so. Sorry I didn’t teach you things like I was supposed to. Just be careful, you have great power running through your veins, and with great power comes great responsibilities, enemies, and fiends. You will come across a lot of trouble if the people of Charlesport find out that you were blessed (or should I say cursed?) to be just like me. Hunters will come back to Charlesport to finish what they started many years ago, but before they do; if they do, I want you to be ready, and I want you to be safe. You also have dark power within you…. It’s imparitive you learn how to control it and use it for the better, otherwise it will slowly consume every good of you and control you and I do not want that for you.

Just remember I always loved you, and I will never stop, even beyond the stars

Love, Daddy”

He is definitely right, I am beyond confused. I sit bewilderly, I don't even know what emotion I am feeling. I have chills running up and down my spine. The box looks kind of ancient, and mysterious. It's covered in carvings of the moon cycle, the solar system, and some words in Latin. The only thing in English is the surname "Blackwell." Inside the box I find weird objects I don’t understand. I find a moondial, some chemist tubes, and weird recipes of some sort, and some books, one book in particular caught my eyes on the cover it read something in Latin, but it was extremely faded and torn, the book was really old looking and beat up as if it was pass down century to century. I can only open the book with a key though, and there is no key in the box. I’m so baffled; I wish I had the key. I thought to myself that maybe it fell out and I looked all over the floor. I couldn’t find the key anywhere. Every single key that I could find that I have in my possession I tried to stick it in the key hole and about ninety percent of the keys did not fit, the other ten percent fit but would not move in the slightest. I am so frustrated at this point. I look up to the ceiling as if my dad could hear me and at this point I am almost positive he can. I say “Are you just going to leave me confused, or are you going to at least give me a sign to find the key that unlocks this book?” Within seconds I hear nothing but a chain like sound fall off my bathroom sink. I walk into my bathroom and find a necklace on the floor. I stand there frozen in my tracks, I cannot move, and I am almost terrified to. I pick the necklace up to come to the realization that it was the necklace my dad gave me in the car just before he died. I stand there so petrified, and so confused. I feel like I am living in a nightmare. The necklace is pure silver and has symbols on it there are four triangles; two with lines through them. There is a symbol of a wolf and a full moon. On the back there are letters that are engraved and they say “two steps to the left, two steps back, moonlight”and then somethig in Latin. I was so confused still. The overall pendant of the necklace is in this weird square type shape, but to any geometry text book it wouldn't be classified as any existing shape, just a "figure."  I put it all back in the box and tape it, even the letter. I put it next to my suitcases in which I am packing all my belongings into since I have to move to Charlesport, Washington. I’m seriously scared for what awaits me in Charlesport. At this point I wish I can just freeze the world and lay in the comfort of my bed, and forget that I exist.

CHAPTER FIVE:

My desk clock reads 2:52 AM. I cannot sleep because today is the day I leave everything I know and love behind. My friends, my hometown, my dad’s friend, Sean, who live with us and he is practically family. I barely even know my Uncle Matt and Uncle Alex. They are the type of family members that you only met a few times and they just sent you cards on your birthday or holiday. My Uncle Matt has actually visited me periodicly throughout my life. Everytime He was near my dad though they would argue, and Matt would always say "Do what’s right." Uncle Matt use to always pull change out of his pockets. I couldn’t pronounce quarter, so I always told him I wanted the big nickel. Before leaving he would always tell me to "chase after the big nickel in life." Then I wouldn’t see him until the next random, breif visit. I just can’t picture myself in a small fishing town like Charlesport with my status. I mean I’m not the richest girl in the Philadelphia, but I surely will be in Charlesport. Well, I am not rich, my father was. He was a wealthy man, and despite his fortune he acted as if he was a normal person and expected to be treated as such. I am just worried that people will despise or envy me because of it. Or maybe I am just over-thinking everything because this is such a sudden drastic change in my life, and I am so panic-stricken. I walk into the hallway outside my room and walk down the hall into Uncle Flann’s room; despite the late hour of the night I know he will be awake. We start talking about how much he will miss me and how much I will miss among an extraordinary amount of other things in the city of Philadelphia. “What am I going to do without you Uncle Flann? Who am I going to talk to? Who am I going to get advice from?” He said “Well Lacey, your dad would not have made you move there if he knew you weren’t going to be happy or safe.” I said “Just because I will be eventually happy and safe doesn’t mean I won’t miss you or my home." He said “Look on the bright side Lacey. God made the internet, I will Skype you every night. He also made cell phones, and you can call or even text me whenever you want!” I start laughing and said “Good! And Uncle Flann, do you know what this book is?” I pull it from my pillowcase from the pillow I brought out of my room with me. My dad taught me how to read body language excessively well and when I asked Uncle Flann he stared at it as if he knew exactly what it was. “Sorry Lacey, I have no idea, it looks like an old book.” I asked “Why would my dad have given me an old book?” He said “Your dad was a smart man, he wouldn’t have given you anything if he knew you wouldn’t benefit from it somehow, just look beyond the fact that it is a book.” I stated “I can’t even open it.” He said “Maybe you have to earn to look at what is inside the book, I am sure the key will turn up eventually.” I thought to myself that what he said didn’t make any sense, why would I have to earn to look inside of a book? Who would I even earn the key from? He did put on a good front though, but I knew very well he knew exactly what the book was and where I could find the key. Why was he lying? What is so special and important about this book? 7:16 AM April 28, 2012: I guess I fell asleep in Uncle Flann’s room, I wake up and walk around the house to see if anyone is awake, I see Uncle Flann on the couch in the living room downstairs and I am guessing everyone else is in their rooms. I sit down at the counter in the kitchen alone waiting for that time for me to leave for the airport. I think to myself I can’t believe this is actually happening to me. What am I going to do in Charlesport? I have never even heard of Charlesport. Why did my dad leave me a very terrifying weird mysterious letter? What is this giant book I cannot open? All these questions roam through my skull to the point where I got a massive migraine for thinking so hard. It was as if the thoughts were trying to jackhammer themselves out of my brain. This always happened to me, ever since I was little. I would over-think myself into migraines. My dad said it ran in the family, but never told me who I got it from. I've never seen him do it. Everything is packed and ready to go. It is now 10:30 AM. I ate breakfast and I got ready and I sat dead silent. I didn’t want to bare the pain of having to say goodbye to the people I care about most so I let them do the talking. I think arriving at the airport and having everybody walk me to the gate where my plane was boarding is when it hit me. I broke down in tears. Uncle Flann held me tightly and told me that he promises it will be okay. Before I knew it I was on my plane, alone. Absolutely Alone. There isn’t much to say about my plane ride. It went as any other depressing plane ride alone goes. I thought about a lot things, like the difference between first class and coach, even though it's all the same plane, going to the same place. I also did a lot of people watching, and I thought about Charlesport and my life and my dad but that's a given. I wanted to drift away from everything happening in life. I started imaginaing myself in a different time frame, back to moments when I was happiest. I was about to cry in front of a bunch of strangers so I started thinking about first class again and what made it so special.  I only flew first class once with my dad when we went to Australia, but I was little, maybe about eight years old. The food in coach is like not even food, I don’t want your stupid bag of peanuts, I will take the drink though, that I might not be able to get a refill on. Before I knew it I was landing in Oregon. I had to take a coach bus from here to Charlesport, I soon came to the realization that it was because the nearest airport is 7 miles from Charlesport. I am the only person who gets off the bus whose last destination is Charlesport. I think people actually stared at me in confusion as to why I had the bus driver get my things. Everybody else was getting off the bus for a pit stop. I had thirteen suitcases and four duffle-bags so it took a while for the bus driver to get all my things, I honestly felt bad for him, and I think he was a bit frustrated with me.

CHAPTER SIX:

I stand there wondering what I am going to do with all this luggage. How am I going to get them where I’m going? Where am I even going? I saw a familiar face in the crowd walking toward me or at least I figured he was familiar since he was walking and looking directly towards me smiling, but he also had that familiar vibe. He walks up to me and gives me a big hug, and quickly backs out of it. “Sorry, I guess I should have asked to hug you since we don’t know each other very well, it’s been a long time, you've grown up so much.” “It’s okay Uncle Matt.” And I gave him this half smile. He starts to looked shocked and says “Uncle? I haven’t heard you call me that since you were about eight years old, and I’m surprised you remembered which one was Matt and which one was Alex. Your father never really talked about us to you.” I started to wonder the same thing actually, it just rolled off my tongue so I went with the quicket diversion I could think of. “Well, you are still my uncle, and no he rarely ever did. I always looked at old family photos though before my dad hid them somewhere in the attic.” He nods his head and says “Well that sure is the a lot of luggage.” I say “Yeah, I’m not on vacation I’m moving here.” He says “Its okay leave all your stuff here I will get Chris and Quinn to help carry it all.” I asked “Who is Chris and Quinn?" He said “Oh they are my employees at the conveinent store just fifteen feet from this bus stop.” I asked “Fifteen feet, really?” He said “Yeah, turn around. That’s my shop right there." I asked "Why do you only have two employees?” He said “Well this is a small town; we only get a lot of business when the buses come through. Day to day though it's pretty slow.” I said “Oh, well, where am I going to be staying?” He said “I am going to let you live on the upper level of my shop. I figured since you are sixteen you would like a little freedom, and it’s also where your dad spent all of his time. He would like you up there.” I asked “Wait, my dad lived here?” He said “Uhh– “ he was interrupted by one of the employees calling for him and siad “We’ll talk later, Lacey.” I stand there so confused. My dad never told me he lived here. My dad never told me he had an enormous book with weird lettering on the cover. We never even talked about Charlesport at all, I didn't even know there was such a place. What else has my dad kept from me? I get to the shop and I see my Uncle’s two employees walk out. I can’t help but stare at them they are the most beautiful human beings, at least in my opinion, and the butterflies in my stomach seemed to have agreed with me. Not too bad for two fishing town boys. I think my Uncle Matt notices me staring. He says “They are just about the same age as you. They will be going to your school this year. That’s if the school’s funding will allow you to go.” I asked “Why wouldn’t they allow me?” He said “Not just you in particular. Every teenager in this town.” I asked “Why?” He said “Because the school’s funding won’t allow the buses to come all the way to Charlesport twice a day five times a week. The closest school is 5 miles from here in another small town, but slightly bigger than this one. It's another fishing town called Chance Harbor.” I asked “So what does that mean? Absolutely no school?” He said “No, it just means every teenager in the town of Charlesport will have to be home schooled, or go to the recreation center for small funding classes.” I asked “This town has a recreation center?” He said “This town has what it likes to call a recreation center. I mean there aren’t a whole ton of kids in this town anymore anyway, and this town has gone to shit over the years. The sign says population of eight-hundred-something, and they're mostly adults waiting to die alone, because they send their kids off to the better town of Chance Harbor... Or far, far away." He just smiles at me, changed the subject, and says "When you were little your father could never get you off the swing. You would just sit there and swing for hours, you didn't even have an interest in playing with the other kids or the other playground things, just the swings." I just smile and think to myself how great it is that my uncle actually has memories with me. But where and who is Alex? I actually don't recall him ever being a part of my life at all except for in photographs. I was going to turn around and I bumped into the one named Quinn. I made him drop my luggage. I said “Oh my God I am so sorry.” Quinn said “It’s okay, it’s your luggage.” then he started to giggle. The other one named Chris walked in right behind him and he stopped and stared at me in awe. I can tell it was him enjoying the sight of me. I'm not being conceited, I am just very good at reading body language. In fact, the feeling of being desired by him made me freeze in my tracks much like him. We stared at each other for a solid ten seconds before saying anything. He says “Ohh. Uhmm. I’m sorry, I … I was – Where do you want your luggage?” I said “I think my uncle said I was staying upstairs of here.” He just walks away and tries not to look me in the eyes. I turn around again looking for my Uncle Matt and I see the one named Quinn again, this time behind the counter. “Hey” he said and I said “Oh, hi. What’s your name?” He said “My name is Quinn Thomas Slaydon, but you can call me Quinn.” I start to giggle and said “Well, I am Lacey Maree Strong, but you can call me Lacey.” He said “Well, Lacey, I like that name. Welcome to Charlesport. It is nice to finally meet you.”I say “Finally? What do you mean by finally?” He said “Your Uncle talked about you a lot, said that we should be expecting you.” I asked "Then why was your friend so shocked to see me?” He said “He’s more like a brother to me (and he chuckles a bit because it’s obviously distinguishable that they are not related, the other one has a darker complexion because he's straight up Italian with dark eyes and hair, and Quinn is as white as snow with blonde hair and blue eyes) and well… He wasn’t shocked. More like in awe to see such a pretty girl in this town.” Then he smiles with a flritatious cocky smile. I don't like cockiness in guys, it's such a turn off, but I started to smile anyway like a little junior high girl who discovered her first crush but I faked it simply because he was probably just being nice and I shouldn't be so quick to judge. "Thank you." I said and he started laughing, I'm not really sure why he just did, but I proceeded to walk away because I really had no interest in continuing to converse with him.

CHAPTER SEVEN:

I walk up the black metal spiral staircase to see what my new room looks like and I’m in shock, because it’s not as bad as I expected. It’s beautiful and I have the most perfect view of the sea and the boating docks and the lighthouse out in the distance. The one named Chris was still in my room he was in the bathroom cleaning some more stuff up. He said “Sorry I meant to have the whole room done before you got here.” I respond as anyone normally would ignoring the fact that at first he acted as if he didn’t know where the destination of my luggage were to be at, now he is contradicting himself and admits he knew I was to be occupying this room. I figured he was just nervous, and thought of something to quickly say, because apparently my uncle talked about me a lot and I had a fan club and of course holding my luggage was a perfect escape to avoid anything further than the dull question of where I wanted my items. I said “It’s fine, it’s beautiful. It is definitely not what I thought it would be.” I turn around to look him in the eyes and my heart beat rises, I felt odd seeing how this sudden heart flutter seemed uncontrollable. He stands there looking back into mine with a bland reaction, he smiled and said “What’s wrong?” As I breifly go into panic mode considering the thought that this guy probably thinks I dislike him or that something is wrong with me, because I was staring at him in what my body felt to be in awe, but my facial expression could have told a different story. Only the heavens could tell you my complexity of catching my ‘cool’. “Oh, nothing! It’s just, your eyes, they are so – uh… brown….. but they are beautiful.... the shape and everything.” He said “Well thank you, yours are so green and they are gorgeous (he mocked me but in a polite way) .... the shape and everything.” I felt a little more at ease seeing how he didn’t react negatively towards my unready compliment. I said “Thank you but green eyes are so common.” I swiftly started to feel mindless because brown eyes are even more common, I just couldn’t think of what else to say, but I inherited these charming green eyes from my father, and I just simply didn't want to think about him right now because I would cry and the tears wouldn't be controllable. The vibe between me and Chris wasn’t awkward but more like a state of clarity so I don’t know why my mind was racing a million miles per minute. He said “Yeah, but not like yours. Your eyes have a special sparkle to them.” I stand there not knowing what to say or how to say thank you. Something about him makes him so desirable, and honestly I feel weird about the whole thing at this point. I mean I don’t even know the guy, but with every eyelash flutter over them big brown eyes I just couldn’t help but lose all motor functions, and for me that was completely irregular. After Chris left the room I started to unpack a few boxes mainly of clothes, I figured that would be the easiest thing to put away. The room was painted such an appealingly light blue with white trim around the windows. The windows had no screens if they were open, and I admired that. It reminded me of old-time houses in small towns on movies. Hard wood flooring with great texture and recently laminated was what my feet and furniture stood upon. So unversed in feeling hardwood floor, it made my feet feel a bit wintry, but it wasn’t unpleasent. I would have to get used to not having carpet in my room anymore, which I suppose isn’t necerssarily an unfavorable thing because this only means less effort in having to clean it. I missed my home terribly, but I thought to myself that I could get use to calling this place home. I open all four windows in my room. I distinctly remember each and every sound and smell perfectly; the seagulls in the distance, the crashing of waves on the nearby beach, the bells on the boats that were docked, but not a single voice of a human. I thought to myself, could this town really be that small? I remember the smell of the salt water and fish, and the breeze filtered through my room exquisitely. I really admired the beach. Every time my dad and I would visit Florida I can remember my happiest memories were at the beach, fishing at the pier and the old skyway bridge. Going to Fort De Soto Beach and walking around in the old trench type forts that were very unilluminated and my echo was to the max. My dad and I enjoyed learning about history. Not the way a school teacher would tell you referencing to a boring modern text book that was printed in the 1980s; but actually walking where they had once stepped and going on tours. We even went on ghost tours, not just in Florida, but a lot of places. To anyone else just the sound of this would be very boring, but to me it wasn’t something viewed upon as just educational, it was something I did when I spent time with my dad. My father and I had a very odd relationship, because it isn’t common for a teenage girl to be close and to bond with their dads, in fact it’s even harder to find a teenage girl who doesn’t say they hate their fathers in their stupid drama queen tantrums. Florida was a good place for us, it was away from work, school, and people we didn’t like. Even though we lived in a city with the greatest amount of history in the United States, we seem to be much more interested in the history of Florida, and of course the beaches. We would always go to John’s Pass, Downtown St. Pete, Treasure Island, Indian Rocks, Fort De Soto, and the old Skyway Bridge for fishing. The amazing actuality of living in which felt like inches away from the beach made me happy, because it made me think about my dad, and it made me like this place.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I unpacked a great amount of stuff last night. I guess by the time I considered myself done I was too tired to even remember falling asleep. I woke up to the smell of coffee, which was an unusual smell to me this early in the morning. I lived in a house with a bunch of night owls, who stayed up all night and slept in to the afternoon who probably wouldn’t even know how to begin the process of making coffee that wasn't in a Keurig, which is just a simplified coffee machine that does all the work for you, all you have to do is stick a cup of coffee that was already grounded up inside and press a button. My dad usually just got coffee at Starbucks or some other commercialized establishment, simply because he was always on the go. I walk downstairs to see where the smell was coming from; it came from the downstairs kitchen which was like the size of an apartment kitchen, but old fashioned in a way, but it fit the layout and theme of the convienent store which by now I suppose I should call home. I hear somebody walk into the kitchen and as I turn around it ends up being Chris; someone who I do not want to see right now since I am hideous with bed head, no make-up, and in sleep attire. At the same time though I thought to myself "I don't even know this guy why the hell do I care?" He said “Hey Lacey, how was your first night?” I said “It was fine, I got a lot of stuff unpacked” He said “A lot? Wouldn’t you want to take your time instead of having to rush yourself into a new place?” I said “I guess I just wanted it to be over with, me moving here was like the second traumatizing thing in my life.” He said “Lacey, it’s okay, you aren’t the only person in the world who has moved to a place they are unfamiliar with, and it’s okay to admit you don’t like it here, and that you don’t want to be here. Hell, half the people in this town who have lived here all their lives don’t want to be here. Basically what I am saying is, it’s okay to be human. Don’t rush into things; it’ll just break you down in the long run.” The fact that he was being this sincere with me made me feel quite contented with him enough to open up a bit on how I was feeling. I said “It’s just that I want it to feel like home already, I don’t want to be that new girl who doesn’t fit in, and doesn’t belong, and is out of place.” He said “Well, you are definitely out of place there aren’t other girls like you in this town.” I said “What do you mean by that?” He said “I mean, that it will take a miracle to find a girl as beautiful as you in this town” then he looks at me and smiles and continues on with “Just thought you should know to be careful though, everybody in this entire town already knows who you are and that you got here yesterday but as soon as the nasty perverts and the hormonal teenagers find out what you look like you’re going to need some backup.” I could tell he was being very genuine and not degenerate and also a bit comical. I start to laugh and say “Are you asking me to let you be my bodyguard?” He says “Well, yes I am. Trust me you’ll need me.” Then he winks. He seems to be very communicative,  open, and good-natured and honestly I praise that personality trait, and to crown all that he evidently has an incredible sense of comical aspect. I smile and say “So I am the talk of the town already, huh?” He said “Yeah you are like practically famous dude, can I have your autograph?“ He said jokingly and continued with "Not too much exciting things happen in this town except for the parades on holidays; our town takes pride in those. So when they hear about Matt Strong’s niece moving here from the big city of Philadelphia to talk about you is almost inevitable.” I said “That makes me feel…. A little stalked and violated… but completely flatterd as well.” He asked “Do you want some coffee little miss famous?” I start to giggle and say “No thanks, I don’t really like coffee.”  He said “Well, you have never had my coffee” he slides the coffee he made for himself down the counter closer to me and says “Here have some. I’ll make myself another one if you end up liking it… Which you will.” and he starts to laugh. I take a sip and say “Damn, that is some good coffee. What the hell is your trick?” He said “Well, a lot of sugar; and I mean a lot. And a very good creamer which I put in with a large quantity as well.... so basically it tastes like dessert.” I said “Doesn’t sound like much of a trick, but getting me to actually like coffee, now that’s magic.” He just looks at me and smirks and kind of repeats what I said "Ha, yeah, magic…..” “So Lacey, I am pretty sure with being new to this town you have so much stuff to do today, so you won’t have time to hang out with me.” I look at him with confusion and said “That was sarcasm, right?” He looked at me and said “Maybe….” While having a mischievous look on his face. I said “Well bodyguard what is there to even do in this town?” He asked “Do you wanna go fishing with me? I usually don’t ask girls to go fishing but as of now I actually need to fish for Maddie.” I asked “Who's Maddie?” He said “The owner of Maddie’s Bar & Grill. They actually catch their own seafood… Obviously.... This is a fishing town.” I said “Well, I would love to go fishing with you, but on one condition, I don't bait my own hook. Definitely something you're going to have to do for me.” He smiled and said "That's not a problem, but we're going to work on that."

CHAPTER NINE:

While out on the boat to catch fish we start talking. I'm glad I've already made a friend, giving how small the town is I wasn't too surprised but I didn't think that my second day here I would've already had plans with one. “So Lacey, if you don’t mind me asking… Why did you move here anyway?” I said “I’m not comfortable enough to talk about that yet." He said “That’s understandable… We don’t know anything about each other.” I start asking Chris questions to learn what he is about, and so I know what kind of guy I am dealing with. I asked “So, Chris, what’s your favorite color?” He said “My favorite color is red. Can I guess yours?” I was caught a little off guard because of how eager he was to be interactive and actually wanting to guess my favorite color was pretty awesome. He said “Judging by the color of your shirt, the color of the chipped nail polish on your fingers, and the color in a majority of your handmade bracelets there, your favorite color is light blue.” I am absolutely amazed. “How in the hell did you know that was my favorite color?Also, the chipped nail polish has a valid exucse– I’ve been too busy don’t judge me.” He laughed I added "Just for the record too, I like all colors, and my favorite color tends to vary." He laughed and said "Ahh, you color whore." We both started to laugh and then he asked “Am I the first guy to ever assume your favorite color was something other than pink? And no worries, your hands are actually pretty cute" I said “Actually, yes, yes you are, and good response.” I say in a jokingly dominant way. He said “Well, I am a good judge of character. I pay attention to more than just girl’s good looks. I have great charisma.”  I said “Well, indeed you do.” Meanwhile I was catching fish during this conversation; I have about six fish in my bucket while Chris has three. He asked “How in the hell are you better at fishing than I am?” I said "What are you telling me that a fishing town boy can’t fish?” He said “I can fish, just not as well as you, and I wasn’t expecting that.”I start laughing and say “Don't cry, princess." Then we both started laughing and I added "I use to fish with my dad; especially during summer when we would go down to Florida. My dad wasn’t the fishing type for a while at least; he was just the type of person who loved to try new things, and be that person who was good at a little of everything. He worked on cars, wrote short stories, scripts for movies, songs even. He played instruments as well. He also made his own hunting knives, had his own logo and everything, and to top it all off he was a black belt in Karate, and Brazillian Jiu Jitsu and even taught classes for it. His favorite hobby was guns, he had guns I've only ever seen in Grand Theft Auto. My dad wanted to be good at pretty much everything.” He said “Well, your dad sounds like a brilliant man.” I slowly say “He was.” He didn’t seem too off guard with my response, which made me assume he already knew and just out of decency he was waiting for me to bring it up. He said “Oh…. I’m sorry… I… didn’t know.” Unclear with his body language at the moment and that really irked me. Did he really know and was just not telling me? Or did he actually not know? Why is his body language quite sketchy to read at times? Reading body language is like second nature to me I should be able to read him effortlessly. “It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to know with your excellent judge of character.” I say sarcastically while I smile at him. "You’re right, that smile right there hides everything. It’s beautiful and quite distracting.” I said “Well, thank you.” He changed the subject and said “By the way, I wasn’t born here either. I was originally born in New Jersey, but my mother was from Brooklyn, so shortly after my birth, she went back to Jersey, and from Jersey, I came here when I was seven years old. So I guess I can’t really consider myself a city boy, but I do remember it. Most of the smells I remember weren’t pleasant unless I was in or near a pizza shop which in Jersey there seemed to be one on like every other corner, especially when you're Italian and live in those neighborhoods. Also, yes, New Jersey still pretty much segregated for the most part. You have your Italian neighborhoods, Irish neighborhods etc.” I asked “Why did you move here?” I asked to gain some background information, not that at this point I had to worry about him being some creepy serial killer, but out of genuine curiousity. Charlesport isn’t a place people just decide to up and move to unless they have no other choice. He said “My mom was killed. I was sent here to live with my grandmother, then when I was thirteen she passed away, your uncle actually has been taking care of us since.” I asked “Who is “we” and I am sorry to hear about your mom.” He said “Me and Quinn, who is also from Jersey, whose parents also died, you met him yesterday at the shop. And it’s okay, apparentaly from what I have heard my parents weren’t good people, and that’s why they were killed.” What Chris just told me about his parents almost seemed like he was telling me a scary story, and I definitely didn’t see that one coming. I was kind of hoping there was going to be a “BOO!” at the end or “just kidding”, either way I felt terribly remorseful for him. He was just a child at the time and children shouldn’t have to go through something like that whether their parents were bad people or not. I’m sure regardless they were good parents, at least that’s what I anticipated.

CHAPTER TEN:

I have spent almost a week here now. I have been here for four days. It is Thursday, May 3rd, 2012. I have spent every day here on my own for the most part, just sitting in my room painting and drawing, I would occassionally walk downstairs and talk to Chris and Quinn, and breifly hang out with my uncle when he is in town. They have been so nice to me and I was especially surprised how nice Chris and Quinn were being to me. I knew that I had already made new friends, and I told myself that things were going to work out here, and that I guess Uncle Flann was right, I will be okay here. Today I was hanging out with my uncle. He closed the shop down today just to spend time with me. It was quite captivating. I spent the first half of the day with Chris though, because a few days ago he promised to show me the fun things to do in this area but he told me if I was disappointed and bored to fake it and pretend to be having fun, but I am not a faker. If I dislike something or someone I usually won't hesitate to show it, but at the same time I have respect, and at this point I consider Chris a good person in general and a great friend so I wouldn't have said anything distasteful if I truly didn't have a fun time, also Chris is a fun person so even if the actvity itself was uneventful I'm sure he would find a way to make it diverting. Chris took me into the nearest actual town, called Chance Harbor, to go bowling, out to eat for lunch, and he paid for it all. I felt really bad actually. I didn’t ask him to pay for anything, in fact I hated when other people paid for me. I always felt like I was using them even though it wasn’t my fault that he insisted on buying me things. He even took me to an arcade because in a later conversation he found out I had the same interest in video games as he did, especially the classics. I was surprised to even step foot in an actual arcade. You could only find arcade machines in places like bowling alleys, or pubs in Philadelphia, but they weren't even satisfactory games. We were walking down the road with some ice cream and there was a group of kids about our age and Chris looks down and whispers “shit” I asked him “Do you know them?” He said “Yeah, one of them is my ex-girlfriend and another one of them is somewhat my friend more like an acquaintance, and the others I only know because they are always together with her.” I asked “What’s your ex-girlfriend’s name?” He said “She’s evil. Her name is Sabrina" I said "Sounds like your typical white girl name, but hey my name is Lacey so who I am to judge?" He said “It does, doesn’t it?” and he started laughing, and just before we approached them he said “They might say some rude things about you or towards you I just want to let you know so you are not offended, they ran the last new person out of town, that’s just what they do they are horrible human beings.” I said “Trust me Chris, girls like her don't phase me, never have, and never will.” we both laughed at my statement. As we approached the girls the one named Sabrina called out “Hey new girl, your outfit looks really expensive. Don’t you think that’s the only reason Chris is with you? He likes city girl money.” I started laughing and said “Awe, I guess that's why you two didn't work out. Where's your trailer park located?” I could hear Chris choke on his drink a little bit because he started to laugh. She had nothing to say except for a the worse comeback I ever heard in my life. I started to laugh I got closer to her and said “That’s the greatest comeback you can think of, huh? Too bad you don’t know anything about me. Not a single fucking thing….” I felt the veins in my body start to feel tingly, it was such an unusal feeling and I have never felt that way before. My fingertips felt numb, I panicked a little bit but I didn't show it in my emotions, I'm pretty sure I still looked tough. As I was walking away I heard her tell her friend that “this new girl is going to steal our rep.” I laughed silently to myself and I thought "wow, I don’t think I ever met anyone more insecure." As we got into Chris' car he says “I’m sorry about her, but clearly she did not get to you.” I said “I told you she wasn’t going to… If you don’t mind me asking, what did she do to you? The look on your face wasn’t annoyed or pissed off, it was more like depressed and wishing she never existed.” He said “How did you know that?” I said “Well you are a good judge of character and I am something similar… I’m a great reader of body language.” He said “Well, I’m a pretty straight forward guy and when I say things to people they are pretty blunt, and I feel like I can say this and trust you.” I said “You can definitely trust me.” As we're driving home in his car he tells me the horrible story about the wickedness inside Sabrina and he says “Sabrina and I were in a relationship for about six months honestly I don’t even know why I was with her for so long, I don’t even know why I was with her to begin with, I was never happy with her, and your uncle disliked her. I guess it just beat being lonely, ya know? I ended it about a year and a half ago, the thing is that she won’t get over it, and every girl she sees me talking to she gets immediately jealous. The first three months I thought she was a different person. After the first three months she started cheating on me." As he continued from there I was shocked to see how bad his story about her actually was, I leaned back in my seat and looked him in the eyes and said “You have to get through the bad to realize what’s good.” He looked back at me and said “You’re absolutely right. If I was still with her I wouldn’t be available to someone who’s smarter, prettier, nicer, and overall absolutely beautiful.” I start to wonder if what he said was referred to me. It kind of made me feel good inside. I just sat there not knowing what to say, just by what Chris has told me about Sabrina made me feel sick, plus the feeling I had earlier when confronting her is still there, just not as much as it was. I'm still trying to shake the feeling and just brush it off as maybe it was jitters from the sugar in the ice cream.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

I usually dread the waking up part of early mornings, but ever since I moved here waking up early has been wonderful, especially since I get to see a much more beautiful sunrise. I walk down to the beach, nobody is out here, and nobody is quite on the roads yet. The town is quiet, almost feels dead, and it is peaceful. I am so used to busy mornings in the city—walking to school, stopping by Starbucks first to get hot chocolate or tea, because I was never really a fan of coffee until now, and remembering all the unfamiliar faces that by each day got more and more familiar, but still a stranger. Each and every strange face was getting somewhere, whether it was work, school, etc. Nobody had time to appreciate the life they lived even the sunrise was a complete and utter blur to them. I feel as if I am here to learn how to love life and appreciate the little things. This sunrise is more than perfect. I sit down near some boulder rocks near the shore farther down the beach after walking. The sounds of the early morning seagulls and crashing of waves among the shore were about the only noises I heard. I saw the lighthouse out in the distance and realized I never took the time to look at its light at nighttime. I have never seen the light of a lighthouse except for on movies. The unfortunate fact surprises just about anyone I tell it to, considering my dad and I have lived in Florida every summer. I have seen lighthouses during the day, but the beauty of their light in person is a complete mystery to me. I sit and I reflect my life the past few months. The tragic loss of my father, the tragedy of moving to a small town, the tragedy of moving to a small town becoming less of a tragedy, and meeting Chris and Quinn who are already a good friends. Life has been better for me since I moved here, and something about that just does not want to admit that to anyone except myself, because I tend to not want to admit that people were right. I’m stubborn like that. I start to think about my dad, and I start to cry. I stare up to the sky and start to speak, I was never too religious, I hardly went to church, but I do believe in God. However I didn’t start speaking to God. I started speaking directly to my father as if he was sitting right next to me. He once told me that even when he isn’t around physically he will always be there for me no matter what; mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Before he died it was like as if he knew his time was coming soon because now I look back and I realize that a lot of inspirational things and stuff he said to me relates to his death. It was such an eerie thing to think about. Coincidence maybe? My dad was a super spiritual being though so I kind of just felt the urge to brush off the crazy ideas that my father was psychic or something and that it was just the way of his spiritual teachings. I said “Daddy, if you hear me, I want you to know I miss you more than anything, and I don’t really know what I’m doing or what I’m supposed to say here but I want you to know I think about you every second, and I would kill to just have one more minute with you. I love you.” Just seconds after, the wind started to pick up, and I can hear the bells from the boating docks. I felt immediate relief. I know in my heart my dad heard me and that he was right there with me. I could feel his presence. It felt like he was holding me like he always use to.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

I dread the wait of leaving the beach. I was afraid that if I left my dad’s presence would no longer be with me. Of course I knew that time had to come eventually. I walk back into the convienent store and nobody was here yet and it was past eight. I thought to myself that maybe the store was closed today. I walk up the black-metaled spiral staircase leading to my bedroom; I like to call it a mini-apartment. I get on my laptop placed on the desk against the wall that has a window facing the sea. I sit there and start to drift off into a dream state of mind. I go back to a memory of mine when my dad and I were in Florida, out on a boat to go fishing. I was only nine years old. My dad then began to tell me a story about a princess who lived on top of the lighthouse; the lighthouse was her castle. The Princess’ name was Lacey and that one day she will live happily ever after. I know it sounds very cliche, but I was a little girl, and hearing those words from my father's mouth made me so joyous. I start to tear up and the memory fades to the view of reality. That really I am just staring at an empty sea with docked boats, and early morning fishermen. I hear a familiar voice from behind me that made me snap out of it completely “Hey Lacey… Are you ok?” I turned around to face my uncle and said “Hey Uncle Matt… And… I guess.” He asked “Do you wanna talk about it?” I said “No, but thank you for being so sweet to me since day one." He said “Lacey, you’re my niece. There’s not a thing in the world I wouldn’t do for you, even though you might not believe that due to my absence during most of your life.“ I say "I’m scared…… Ever since I’ve gotten here….. I just don’t feel right. I feel like I’m just on autopiolet, like I'm being controlled by something else.” Uncle Matt's expression goes a bit pale, but I think nothing of it. He said “I’m here for you whenever you need me, for even the most biazarre thing you can think of, you can always come to me with it. I promise you no matter how crazy it might seem to you…. I can help you.” I spent the rest of this day feeling drained and home sick, and feeling helpless knowing I couldn’t do anythig at all to rewind life back to a few months ago when everything felt right.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

The next day, Chris and I were walking around all morning, we sat, and talked, we bonded, we shared secrets, memories, and it was definitely so far the best day I’ve spent with him. He said “So, I have to go out of town today. I won’t see you until tomorrow, but I should be back in town tonight around like 2am.” I was shocked and asked him why, and he said “I have to make a run to Chance Harbor it has something to do with my mom’s old lawyer, to be honest I’m really nervous, but Chance Harbor is about a 2 hour drive and so a 4 hour trip altogether, not including the hours I have to spend with the lawyer." I said "Well, I hope everything goes okay.” I was actually a little upset I didn’t want him to go he was like my only friend here, well besides Quinn, but he really only sparked conversation with me when Chris was around and I didn’t want to feel empty. Just before he left he gave me something that I thought was really cute it was a picture of me and him the day he took me into town and it was framed. I smiled really big and said “Thank you Chris, I love it.” he said “Really? I was hoping you weren’t going to think it was cheesy.” I said “Of course not, it’s perfect.” He said “Well, I guess this is it……. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said bye in a very soft and depressed-like voice. I don’t know why but it was hard seeing him drive off, it felt like as if he wasn’t coming back and as if I’ve known him my whole life. Moments later Quinn walks up as if he was watching the whole time and waited exactly for the moment of Chris to leave. He said "Hey what's up?" I said "Oh, hey.... I didn't even know you were here." He said "Yeah I just got here, I saw you talking to Chris I didn't want to interrupt." I said "Well that's very gentleman-like of you," and I started to laugh and he just smirked. He said "You look very beautiful today." I said "Oh... Thanks." He looked at me as if he wanted to kiss me and I felt very weird about it. It was like I could forsee it happening, but I quickly interrupted the vibe and said "So, do you work today?" He looked down and said 'Yeah, but don't tell your uncle that I'm opening the shop late I was supposed to be here an hour ago." I said "Well you should probably hurry then." Then he said "Yeah....." as if he was a little frustrated that I was so eager to end the conversation and then walked off without even saying goodbye. He seemed very stressed and I couldn't tell if it was because of me or just something else in general. All I know is that I got a very uncanny vibe from the conversation. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it nor apply a specific word to describe it other than 'odd.'

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

I wake up the next day but feel very onorthodox. I can’t really move anything except for my hands and neck, I started to get a sense of hysteria I tried reaching for my phone to call my uncle. I was terrified. I stopped when I noticed the tip of my fingers were… glowing with a bright light at the end of each tip. I tried to scream but nothing came out, I could only hear my subconcious scream for help. Next thing I knew I was shooting up out of bed with all my motor functions seemingly normal again, and no weird glow on my hands. Was I dreaming? I couldn’t have been dreaming, the experience felt all too tangible, but for the sake of my sanity I brushed it off as just a creepy dream, although my phone was exactly where I left it as I did in this apparent dream. Can people actually move items while in a deep slumber? Such a bizarre morning. I still feel the sensation as I did while having that weird dream, but at least I can move and my fingers don't look like they belong to an extraterrestial. I brushed it all off and tried to go about my day as usual. Uncle Matt comes up to my room and knocks on the bathroom door, even though it wasn’t even shut and I was fully clothed. I guess it was a deceny thing, I’m not used to people being that decent though. He said “Hey Lacey. I know I’ve been quite busy lately and haven’t really had a chance to actually…. hang out with you and get to know you…. I was wondering if you had any plans today?” I said “Nope! I just have to change my outfit then I’m ready when you are. Where are we going?” He said “No where special. Just across the street to my house. I wanted to show you old family albums. I figured that would be a good start on getting to know my niece and for her to get to know her family.” I said “Oh okay, well then lets just go now.” As I walk into Uncle Matt’s house I can see that it’s very organized, with a lot of weird items though. I see similar things to that in which my father left behind for me in that weird box, which I actually forgot about until now. I see chemist tubes, and similar weird looking books. I just had to ask what they were. “Uncle Matt…… What is this book?” I ask as I pull out the book that looks exactly like the old, Latin headed, locked book that my father left for me. Uncle Matt looked really hesitated to answer, but he also looked like he knew that’s one of the things I was going to ask. He said “It’s a….. family book……. It’s been carried down for centuries. I’m the first one to own it since my great-grandfather; your great-great grandfather. Johnny, your father had one just like it, but it was our great-great grandfather's.” I mocked him but in a gratifying way and said "So my great-great-great grandfather?" He chuckled and responded "Yes." I said “Why does yours have a lock on it too?” Not realizing I basically just sold myself out. Now he knows I have my father's similar looking book in my possession which I wasn't too sure I could trust anyone, even Uncle Matt, with knowing something like that. Crap. He began to explain some bullshit reason then stopped and said “Wait…. what do you mean by "too”? Do you have a book, Lacey? Maybe one that looks similar to mine? One that says “exponentia artis” on the front?“ I knew I couldn’t lie, Uncle Matt already knows at this point thanks to my lousy choice of words.. "Yes…. I do. My dad left it for me in a box along with other things….. Like those tubes you have over there. He also left me a moondial. I don’t know what any of it means nor what it’s purpose is. I can’t get in the book either… There was no key.” Despite my thoughts of Uncle Matt definitely knowing I had this book he looked rather staggered. He also didn’t say anything at first. I broke the silence. I asked “Did I do something wrong?” He immediately replied and said “No. Of course not. Did he leave you a letter or anything? Anything to give you the slightest explanation at all?” I said “Well……..” I looked up at Uncle Matt who looked too eager to hear my response “Yeah. He left me a letter. He didn’t really explain anything. In fact…. none of it even made sense. He was just going on and on about great power within me… He also said something about hunters and….. there being a boy who I will fall in love with… I figured he just meant in the future when I fall in love and eventually get married or something like that. It's weird it's like my dad always knew he was going to die young or something.” At this point Uncle Matt looked almost pale. I definitely don’t feel right about this topic anymore. I have to do my best to change it. “Anyways, you said you wanted to show me some family photos….?” He didn’t look eager to show me the family photos as much as he was before, but he pulled a book off of the shelf and said "Yeah, here's one." As we were looking through the albums, I didn't see any pictures of Alex I thought about asking him but the feeling I had this morning came back in full effect. Uncle Matt said "What's wrong?" I said "Nothing. It's just I had a weird dream this morning. I woke up feeling weird, and the feeling hasn't gone away yet. It's freaking me out. I woke up... Well at least I thought I woke up and I couldn't move and my finger tips were glowing, and I woke up feeling all tingly like the way your tongue feels when you lick a battery.." He looked at me and sighed “Did you go out with Chris last night?” I didn’t know what Chris had to do with anything but I answered him anyway. I thought that maybe he was just trying to change the subject and after everything that was already said I figured that he was in fact trying to change subject and it’s probably for a very good reason. I said “Well, yes but not at night he was gone by noon he went to Chance Harbor, I spent all morning with him though.” “Then what did you do after?” He asked “Well he had to go to Chance Harbor…….. I also talked to Quinn at the docks but I went upstairs to my room after that..” I said hesitantly. “So it was a date?” He asked. I said “No, we were just hanging out, we're friends” Matt said nothing he just looked at me like he wanted me to explain more. I said "What does this have to do with my dream?" Matt said "Oh.....Nothing... I was just asking. I see you two hanging out a lot." I said “Well, I think he likes me… and I kind of like him too… but neither of us has actually said that to each other….I dont see what this has to do with anything.” I said all of that without really thinking about it. The words just rolled off my tongue, afterwards it felt like a drunk confession. It was as if some magical force made me say what had been on my mind, but of course that's just foolish, right?  Uncle Matt didn't say anything at first but then he said "Are you hungry? I'll take you to Maddie's." I said sure and then he asked "Do you want to go change? I'll walk you over, I need to get something from the shop anyway." After I change upstairs I start to walk downstairs and I didn't see anyone. I started to hear voices coming from the kitchen so I started walking towards there but then quickly stopped when I heard it was Uncle Matt talking to Chris and Quinn. I stood outside the doorway around the corner. I could hear Uncle Matt scolding at them and he said "What the hell did I tell you guys? I said let her settle in. She doesn't even know what she's capable of." I felt so puzzled. Are they talking about me? He said settle in, who else could he be talking about? Chris said "We're just talking to her man, it's not our fault." Matt said "Really? Friends who are just talking to each other as friends, don't give each other framed pictures." I thought to myself how the hell does Uncle Matt know about that? Did Chris tell him when I was upstairs? Quinn said "Dude who cares? She's going to find out eventually." Uncle Matt said "Yeah, that's the plan dickhead, but that's my job to tell her, not any of you, and remember what I fucking said about the stars bullshit. It's meant to happen they way it's meant to happen, so it'll unfold naturally don't fucking force it." What the hell is Uncle Matt even talking about? He's like basically reciting what my dad said in the letter without ever even reading it. I'm beyond confused right now. I could hear him start to leave the kitchen so I rushed back over to the bottom of the stairs which is a couple inches away to make it seem as if I just got downstairs, and certainly didn't hear a single thing that was going on in the kitchen. I smiled and said "You ready?" He said "Yup" then he looked back at Chris and Quinn and Quinn rolled his eyes and walked away Chris just looked down at his feet and I tried to get his attention but he kept so focused on his shoes as if he was trying his hardest to avoid eye contact. What the hell is happening? When we get to Maddie's I started talking to Uncle Matt and I said "I have a confession to make......" He just glanced up at me as if I just pressed a button to activate World War III in full effect, "I don't even like seafood, so I hope they have chicken in fishing towns." He started to laugh and he said "They do have chicken too." I said "So, what did you need to get from the shop?" I was trying to catch him in a lie because he obviously only went to the shop to berate the boys for something, but he pulled out a bunch of rolled up paper from his jacket pocket and said "I needed this. It's everything we need to order that's gone out of stock, I just need to make sure the numbers are right." I then said "Oh, okay. Can I ask you another question?" He said "You can ask me whatever you want without asking me if you can ask it first." Then he glanced up and smiled with a jokingly condenscending smile. I said "You haven't talked to me about my dad at all since I've been here. He was your brother." He said "I know. I don't really want to talk about him. Don't want to get upset, that and we weren't on speaking terms for years. I sure do miss him though. I wish he would've let me come around more. We always had each other's backs growing up." I said "Who's Alex? I thought I had an uncle named Alex too." I asked this to avoid getting unnerved about what Matt just said. My father always told me that Uncle Matt was the one who never wanted to come around, not that he was the one who wouldn't let Uncle Matt come around. It kind of infuriated me, because was my dad lying to me, or is my uncle lying about my dad to make him look like a unscrupulous guy? After I asked about Alex, Uncle Matt turned ghostly pale, he has a bad habit of hiding deep shit because of how often he turns pasty white. He took a sip of his coffee and sighed and said "I haven't seen Alex in years. He just ran off one day..... He's not a good man. Makes a lot of bad choices. Alex doesn't like to play by the rules, he makes his own." I went back to the comment earlier about my dad because it's pondering in my mind. I asked "So, my father never let you come around? Why is that?" He said "It's because we didn't see eye-to-eye. He had this plan for you that I didn't agree with. He wasn't playing by the book which wasn't a smart decision. He was also a hypocrite, but I don't want to get into that Lacey." I said ""Play by the book?" That's basically the same thing you said about Alex, and you said he was a bad guy. Are you insinuating that my father was a bad guy too?" Matt looked up at me as if he was tongue-tied and said "No. Your dad was a great man and a great father, he just made some dumb decisions. The kind of life altering dumb decisions though. Alex is.... Well...." Matt is becoming flustered at this point and said "I'm trying to put this in a way that you would understand..... Alex breaks tradition. So basically, he's a criminal. That's the best I can explain it to you... For now at least." I was starting to become puzzled at this point. It was like he was avoiding to talk about who Alex is and what he's done to make him such an undesirable human being. I took offense to the comment he made about trying to put something in words that I would understand. Does he think I'm stupid?  Does he think I'm sheltered? Just tell me what he did. Is he a murderer? Did he rob a bank? I honestly just want to know out of genuine curiousity but he's kind of treating me like a child right now. However, I just brushed it off and respected the fact that he didn't want to tell me. Alex is his brother and he at one point had a robust relationship with him so talking about him now in his abscence probably hurts, that and he just lost his other brother to a tragic car accident. I could tell by the way he was choking up with his words that this is a topic I should bring up later, or just surpress it entirely until he openly wishes to speak about it with me.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

After we ate our food at Maddie's Uncle Matt took me on a walk through what this small little town likes to call Downtown. It really is just one long waterfront road, and you'll never guess what it's called. Yup, it's called Main Street. There was a little shop that for some reason caught my interest. It was very intriguing and it felt as if I was compelled to it. I tug on Uncle Matt's sleeve as if I'm a child, and I point to the shop and said "What's that place?" Uncle Matt didn't quite turn pale after my question like he usually does, but he did hesitate to answer. He said "It's a pagan shop. They sell all kinds of stuff, like herbs, and oils and soap and whatnot." I said "Like witchcraft?" He turned pale again and said "No. Absolutely not. The people who run the shop are book club type nerds who think they know everything there is to know about witches and magic because they studied the Salem Witch Trials in high school. The "palm reader" just says a bunch of bullshit." I looked up at him and said "So you don't believe in that stuff?" He looked concerningly at me and said "I never said that. Do you believe that stuff?" I said "Well... I guess. I like to have an open mind. When I was little I swear our house in Florida was haunted, but my dad told me to stop being ridiculous, but then we would go on ghost tours...... He was confusing sometimes." Uncle Matt sat down on a bench outside of the Pagan shop so I sat down next to him. "Why did you think your house was haunted? Did you have any personal experiences?" I said "I had tons, but my father pretty much convinced me that they were bad dreams even though I never had "dreams" like that back at our Pennsylvania house. I never told my dad that I knew this, but he would sage the house when he thought I wasn't home, yet he insisted he didn't believe in things like that." Uncle Matt just started chuckling and said "Sage, huh?" I said "What's wrong with sage?" He said "Nothing. It makes a good incense, but as for actually working to keep out spirits.... It doesn't." I said "How would you know..." He looked me dead in the eye and said "Experience." I raised my eyebrows a bit, and then the Pagan shop door opened up behind me. Some dude dressed in suit pants and a regular collared shirt just stopped and stared at us. He said "Matt Strong.........." My uncle said "Peter Gibbons.." The one named Peter looked at me and back at Matt and said "What are you doing here?" Matt said "This is a public bench, Pete." Then Peter responded with "You know what I meant." Matt said "I don't mean to cramp the style of your fictitious witchcraft, I just like this bench." Peter said "You and I both know that I learned everything from my brother." Matt said "You and I both know that doesn't mean shit. You can have all the tools to build a house, but that doesn't make you an architect." Then my Uncle Matt just gave Peter a very condenscneding smile. Pete looked at me and looked back at Matt again and said "Is this Jeanette's daughter?" I looked up at him very puzzled, and Uncle Matt interuppted me before I was about to ask who Jeanette was and Matt said "I'm not going to have personal conversations with you Pete, certainly none about my niece. Walk back inside and wikipedia search more about Salem witches and the original traditions of Halloween and lure in people who don't know shit about any of it and convince them to get their palms read." All Pete had to say in response was "Niece?" As if he didn't know Matt and I were even related. Matt stood up, and Pete rushed back inside and you can hear the door lock. I look at Uncle Matt who knew I was going to ask who Jeanette was and he said "Jeanette was your mom." I said "How come my dad never told me her name or even showed me a picture?" He said "Your dad kept a lot more from you than you thought, huh?" My heart sank when he said that because Uncle Matt.... Is right. I didn't want him to be right, but he is. It's heartbreaking. I thought the bond my father and I shared was special. Here I am spilling all my secrets out to him, when he only told me the tip of the iceberg. I stood up and wrapped my arm around Uncle Matt's and started walking. Uncle Matt took me back to his house and pulled out a different photo album, and pulled one picture out. It was a group photo of a bunch of people I've never seen before except for my dad and Matt. He pointed at one of the girls in the photo and said "That's your mom." My jaw dropped. I just stared at the picture for what seemed like eternity. Matt said "You look just like her, except you have your father's eyes." I hesitated to ask but I said "What happened to her?" Matt said "Jesus, kid. Your dad really didn't tell you anything did he?" I said "I guess not." while trying to hold back the tears. Uncle Matt just wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in close for a couch hug. I burried my head into his chest and for a split second it reminded me of the times I would do that with my dad and it made me feel so much better. I would sit there for hours and my dad would let me. Sometimes I even fell asleep and my dad wouldn't move until I woke up. Uncle Matt seemed to be letting me do the same after I stayed like that for thirty minutes, then I fell asleep. I started to dream about my mom, it was weird. I was in a some kind of cabin, the sun was peeking through some cracked blinds, and by the looks of the outside we were in the middle of the woods. My mother was sitting in a rocking chair across the room and I was laying on a couch. I couldn't move or speak and my mother, rocking away in the chair, glances over at me and smiles and said "Oh, my sweet baby, how you have grown." Then I woke up. I didn't jump up out of the dream, like I normally do. I just opened my eyes as if they've only been closed for a blink. I realized that I was still wrapped around Uncle Matt who notices I've woken up and he said "Welcome back." I sat up and said "How long was I asleep?" He said "40 minutes." I said  "Sorry for falling asleep on you." He said "Why? Don't be. If I really had a problem with it, I would've gotten up." I look back at the group photo with my mom in it and noticed something I didn't notice before. My mother was holding Matt's hand and my father was on the complete opposite side of the group. I said "Matt...... Why was she holding your hand?" Matt just sighs really loudly and said "That's because your mother and I we're.... dating. Then she dumped me... For your father.... My brother. Then two months later, she was pregnant with you." I said "Jesus.... That's... Fucked up, honestly." Matt said "Yeah... No kidding, and your father was the one who had a problem with me." I said "Why?" He said "For reasons you wouldn't even begin to understand." I said "Is that why that Pete seemed confused when you said niece? Did he think I was your daughter?" He said "Great observation skills, kiddo. Yeah, the whole town thought you were my kid.... Then.. Your mother died and your father moved away to the opposite side of the country." I asked "Who are the rest of these people in this photo?" He said "That's Quinn's parents, and that's Chris' parents, and a few other kid's parents." I said "Chris said his parents were from the New Jersey." Matt said "They were, but they lived here for awhile. When his mom got pregnant they flew back. Then his mom died, and--" He cut himself off and continued with "I'm sure he told you the story." I said "I don't feel like going back to the shop tonight, I don't want to be alone. Can I stay here?" He said "Of course you can. I have a guest bedroom down the hall, second door on the left." I got up and headed for the room, laid down in bed and thought about a lot of things. Why did Chris leave out the part of his parents living here? Or did he not know? I also found it strange that our parents we're all connected and now we are. I found it even stranger that my mother dated my uncle before dating my dad. I roll over and stare up at the ceiling and speak out as if my father could hear me and said "Why did you keep so much from me?" I could feel my eyes start to water so I closed them and rolled over. I felt a strange prescence in the room so I just pulled the blanket over my head and tried to fall asleep. A few hours later out of nowhere I jump out of a deep sleep. Not too sure why, I wasn't even dreaming. I look over at the time and it said 12:55 AM. I roll out of bed and tip toe to the door, I crack it open silently and observe the surroundings. I notice the living room light is still on and was wondering why Uncle Matt is still awake. I start walking towards the living room when I heard whispers. I started recognizing the voices and realized it was Chris and Quinn with my uncle. I creeped up to the corner just around from the living room so I could hear what they were talking about. I heard Chris whisper to my uncle and say "So did you tell her yet?" Uncle Matt said "Really Chris? That's not something you just tell someone who's gone their entire life completely unaware." Quinn said "We're running out of time... I can feel it." Matt said "Trust me, we're gonna be fine with or without her." Chris said "What about the others in Chance Harbor?" Matt said "What about them?" Chris said "They know she's here now.." Matt said "Who cares? They're not going to get anywhere near her, you guys won't let them, and neither will I." Quinn said "Joe and Keith know. They just got back into town. What if they say something?" Matt said "Tell them not to." There was a few moments of silence then Matt said "I've been slowly but surely dropping hints in the most discreet way possible. I decided that's the best way to go about it. I'm trying to figure out her strengths and weaknesses first. She's incredibly smart and observant. She also has feelings that she doesn't understand, but we do. I'm pretty sure she knows something is abnormal, she just doesn't even know what. She pointed out the Pagan shop run by the normal Gibbons today, it was as if she was compelled to it like some invisible force reeling her in. Her mom ran that store back in the day. Even then the oils and whatnot were bullshit but.... Yeah... We're getting closer, and it's honestly the town that's doing it." I walk back to the room and wonder what the hell they are talking about. Maybe I walked in the middle of a conversation completely out of context. I decided to just lay back down and forget about it. I start playing with the necklace around my neck, it was the one my dad had given me. It made me feel better and it helped me drift back to sleep. The next day I wake up and realize the house is empty. I start walking around and being a little snoopy. I walked into Uncle Matt's room and I find the book that looks exactly like my dad's. His had a lock too and I couldn't open it or find a key anywhere around the room. I put the book back exactly where and how I found it and decided that if it was truly a secretive thing it wouldn't be out in the open. That would be too easy. I walked downstairs into the basement. I found boxes of old photographs. There was one of all the same people from the group photo of everyone and my mother last night, except in this one all the girls are pregnant. I notice that every single person in the photo was wearing a necklace that looked exactly like mine, the one my dad gave me. I put the photo down and run out of the house across the street and up to my bedroom. I get on my laptop as quickly as possible and begin to research. I literally couldn't find anything about the symbol on my necklace but I found something similar. The triangles are the elements of the world -- Earth, air, fire, and water. The wolf really doesn't mean anything, or at least the symbol itself could mean literally anything and I would be researching indefinitely, and the latin can't be translated in any sophisticated way. The directions on the back seem like board game directions. None of it really made sense alone, and when put together it seemed as if they literally mean nothing at all. However, it has to be significant otherwise they all wouldn't have been wearing identical necklaces and my dad wouldn't have handed it to me in his dying moments if it was insignificant. I ran back across the street and slowly walked through the front door. I realized Unlce Matt still wasn't here so I ran back downstairs, grabbed the photograph and headed back across the street. I decided to do history of the town instead, and maybe find out the names of these people and their stories. That could probably lead to the meaning behind this necklace. I typed in Charlesport, WA and immediately a story from January 1997 popped up. I guess the town is too small to have any other significant or ground-breaking current events. I clicked on the story anyway and it was about a fire that broke out at the abandoned boating docks, killing eight people. The fire wasn't an accident but the culprit was never found. Allegedly the people who were killed were rumored to be in some kind of cult. Authorities believe a town member decided they were going to be a vigilanty although the theory was never proven. The pictures of the victims were shown and literally every single person in the group photo from my uncle's basement besides my uncle and father and two other people were killed in this fire, including my mother. It happened three days before my first birthday. I closed my laptop and ran out towards the beach next to the boulder rocks and cried. What did they mean by cult? Just because they all met in a secluded location to hang out and wore matching necklaces doesn't mean they were part of a cult. I guess every teenage girl and her BFF with matching friendship bracelets are cult members too with that logic. What gives someone a right to torch the place? If the town really thought my uncle was part of a cult then why do they practically praise him now? He might as well be the town mayor. If people have a problem they come running to him. Doesn't make any sense. There's clearly a lot more to this story that never made it to the media to be known to the public. There's major holes in this story. I don't know why I feel so passionate about this, but I must find out more.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

A few weeks go by and I keep my nose burried in research and the backgrounds of all the people in the photo. I haven't really seen anyone in a couple of days, I have not wanted to leave my room. I look at the necklace my father gave me and literally come so close to pulling my hair out due to frustration until I hear a knock at my door. I said "Yes....?" The voice said "It's Chris... Can I come in?" Oh shit... I don't have time to hide this stuff. I don't want him to know about my research. I quickly call out and said "Ummm.... I'm changing.. Give me a sec." I close my laptop and act like I'm looking for clothes to put on by opening and closing dresser drawers. I eventually open up the door and walk out closing it behind me to prevent him from walking in. I said "Hey what's up?" He said "I can come back if ya want." I said "No! It's okay... My room is... Just a mess right now... I don't really like anyone in my room when it's messy." He said "Well.. I was wondering if you would like to hang out today? Maybe we can go to my house. You can finally see my room." I sort of glanced at him and he said "Oh shit.. That sounded so incredibly dirty and wrong and that is not at all what I intended..." I started laughing and said "It's okay, man. I kind of got what you were getting at." On the road to Chris' house there's a lot of trees. It felt like we were leaving town and going to the middle of nowhere. Once we pulled up I closed the car door and stood there and listened. The sound of nothing but nature made me so calm and it made me feel intrinsic. I closed my eyes and looked up and soaked it all in, then I was interuppted by Chris and he said "Are you alright?" I said "Yeah... It's just.. So peaceful out here. I feel.... Alive. I don't really know what other word that would be appropiate to describe the feeling I get from this place." I quickly realized how strange I must sound so I interrupt my own train of thought and said "Sorry. I'm rambling and you must think I'm really outlandish." He said "Absolutely not. Why do you think I like it out here?" I said "How did you get a house to yourself anyway?" He said "Well,  I share it with Quinn, and your uncle... He bought it for us. I guess he wanted his space back." I said "Oh yeah... That makes sense." Chris said "So are you ready for the grand tour?" I laughed and said "Lets begin." Walking around Chris' home felt weird. I felt a presence here and I couldn't explain it. However, the presence wasn't bad it was just eccentric. It was something I've never felt before but at the same time, I felt content. I realize I start to walk around the house myself as if I had been coming here for years, as if it was my home too. I walk straight into Chris' room without even thinking about it and as soon as I do that's when I realized that it felt like my body was on auto-piolet again. I quickly turned around and tried to make it seem as if I didn't just walk right in here, but he was standng behind me and he said "I see you've found the coolest room in house," and he started to chuckle. I said "I'm sorry, I totally wasn't thinking. I should've asked before just opening your door." He said "Don't be silly. It's alright." I turn around and actually examine his room. I see his bed is made, but sloppy. I like that. People who have time to make their bed presentable every single morning are the questionable ones. I look to the right and I see a shelf with books upon books, also neat, but sloppy at the same time. He's like the perfect balance. The thing that really caught my interest was a vinyl record player. I said "No way! You have one of these?" He said "Your uncle got me it a few years ago for my birthday. When I was younger he really got me into Jimi Hendrix.... Your uncle is obsessed with Hendrix by the way..... Anyways, because of him I kind of have a thing for records now. I have a whole box of them in the closet if you want to look at them." I said "If it's not a problem then, yeah, I would love to look at your collection. I used to have one too, but it.... broke. I kept all the records, they're just collecting dust in a box though, and I love Jimi Hendrix too and trust me I got the hint that he was obsessed with Jimi by the gigantic Jimi Hendrix tapestry he has in his living room." Chris started laughing and said "Good point, and your records don't have to collect dust anymore. You can play your records on this whenever you want." As I'm looking through the box of records Chris had in his closet I feel like there's no worries or strange things in the world. I feel like, at that moment, it was just me and him. Then all of the sudden Quinn knocks on the already opened door and said "Chris can I talk to you....?" Then he glances at me and said "In private..." Chris looked confused and said "Umm... Can it wait?" I can tell Chris was trying not to be rude and leave me alone seeing how I'm the guest. However, Quinn bluntly replied and said "No." I felt very awkward and it felt as if Quinn was upset that I was there so I stood up and said "I think I'm going to go home now..." Chris turned back around and said "You don't have to," and I said "No... It's okay. I'll see you later." I started to walk out and half smiled at Quinn and looked down really fast to avoid eye contact. I walked all the way back home and timed myself. It took twenty minutes. I don't know why I felt the need to time myself but it seemed to make time actually go by faster. As I'm walking up to the shop I see my uncle carrying boxes out of a truck and placing them down near the front door. I walk up to him and ask him if he needed any help and he said "No I'm alright. Just a few boxes, nothing big." He stopped as he was about to walk back towards the truck and grabbed my chin and directed my attention towards him and he said "Are you okay?" I said "Yeah... Why...?" He said "Never mind." Then he walked away. The past few conversations he's had that I overheard and his actions have made me feel very indifferent about him, he's honestly been acting odd, but at the same time, I feel like he's truly the only person I can trust here besides Chris. I run up to him while he was at the truck. I asked him "Are you leaving again tonight?" He said "No, why? You okay?" I said "Yeah, I'm fine... I just... Never mind." I wanted to talk to him about the boat dock fire that my mother died in, but I wouldn't even know how to bring it up because I haven't practiced how to do so yet. He said "Never mind? Are you sure? You can come over if you want I'll be done here in a couple of minutes or so." I said "No, it's okay it's not important. I have some stuff to do anyway." He looked at me as if he was having a hard time believing me and I don't blame him because even I didn't think I was sounding convincing. I smiled though and started to walk away and he shouted "You know where to find me if you ever need anything." I smiled and walked into the door. As I'm laying upstairs the darkness begins to consume the room. I look over at the clock and it says 7:55 PM. I glance over at the picture frame next to the clock and start to tear up over a photo of me and my father from when I was about four years old. I rolled back over and looked up towards the ceiling. It's funny, I've seen these glow in the dark stars every single night since I've been here but for whatever reason they caught my attention tonight unlike any other night. I got an eerie feeling but then just closed my eyes and grasped onto the necklace my father gave me. I've been starting to wear it more often now, but I usually keep it tucked in my shirt so no one sees it. I rather not talk about it, especially after the picture I found of all of them wearing the identical ones.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

I roll over and look at the clock and get severely frustrated when I see the sun peaking through and illuminating the room with it's morning glory. It's about seven o'clock. I have a splitting headache due to the fact that I got barely any sleep last night. Almost twelve hours of nothing but tossing and turning. I wonder why I couldn't sleep, I didn't drink any coffee or nothing. The fact that I barely got sleep makes me so angry. Whenever I don't get any sleep I feel as if someone stole it from me. I know that's a silly concept but it's just the way I feel. I get so worked up over my sleep, if you mess with my hours then I hate you. Well, at least until I'm well rested again. I got up anyway because I told myself that if I try to sleep any longer and I'll just end up sleeping all morning and wake up in the afternoon which I hate doing because then I feel like an entire day of opprotunities have been wasted. I walk downstairs to the kitchen and and I see Chris and Quinn outside getting ready to start their shift for the day. I see them smoking a blunt which is something I haven't been able to do since Philadelphia. Neither of them even told me they smoked. I walked up behind them and they obviously didn't hear me coming because when I said "You guys didn't tell me you smoke." Chris completely freaked out and ended up dropping the blunt in the water. Quinn said "Jesus Christ Chris..... way to go." Then he looks over at me and said "I'm guessing you're going to tell your uncle now, huh?" As I was saying "Why the hell would I do that?" He started walking away. Chris said "I don't know why he's tripping about your uncle finding out.... Your uncle smokes weed too." I said "Seriously? You all smoke and never told me about it?" Chris said "I honestly didn't take you as the kind of girl who does smoke." I said "So I guess that means I never cease to surprise you," and then I gave him a playful smile. He changed the topic and asked "So why are you up so early? We didn't wake you did we?" I said "No not at all, I was pretty much already awake anyway. I didn't get really any sleep last night." He said "Why is that?" I said "I honestly don't know." Chris reached on the other side of him and then handed me his Red Bull. I said "You don't have to do that." He said "You obviously need it more than I do." I just smiled and said "Hey... Do you think my uncle would be awake right now?" He said "You know what.... He never ceases to surprise me either. Sometimes he sleeps in til noon sometimes he's awake before the sun goes up. It all depends." I said "Depends on what?" He said "I don't know... His mood I guess." Chris then added "Why, do you need him? Are you okay?" I said "Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know why everyone has been asking me that lately." Chris said "Well you look very paranoid to be honest." I said "Says the guy who dropped the weed into the ocean." He laughed and said "Touche...... But this is the bay... Not the ocean." I laughed and playfully hit him in the shoulder. Quinn knocked on the window from the kitchen, opened it and said "So I guess I'm working by myself today?" Chris said "Dude calm the fuck down, there's really not much to do this morning anyway, we did most of it last night to specifically avoid doing all of it this morning. What is your problem?" Quinn closed the window and I looked back over at Chris and I said "Yeah...What is his problem? Did I do something? He's been kind of an asshole whenever I'm around." He said "Well you don't see him when you're not around. He's an asshole then too. He's been going through some shit lately. I don't really know how to explain it." I said "He seems jealous." Chris quickly glanced over at me and just shrugged his shoulders and I said "Well, I'm going to go see if my uncle is awake now... I guess I'll see you later." Then I smiled and patted him on the shoulder. I don't really know why I patted him on the shoulder, it felt so awkward afterward but I just went with it. Honestly it feels like I'm on auto-piolet a lot lately and I need to get in control of that before I say or do something really stupid. To my surprise when walking up to my uncle's house the front door was already open with the screen door shut. I spoke through the screen door and said "Uncle Matt..?" He came out from the kitchen and said "Come in." He asked me if I wanted any breakfast and I playfully said "When am I not hungry?" He laughed and said "Same." So then he made me a cup of coffee and said "It looks like you might need this." I said "Is it that obvious I didn't get any sleep last night?" He said "To be honest Lacey, you've been looking very washed out and pale as if you haven't been sleeping any night since you got here." I said "Gee thanks." He said "Is something bothering you?" I said "I'm not quite sure how to explain it.... But I'm not even sure if it's an issue or the issue." He said "Well, what is it?" I said "I just feel like I've been on auto-piolet.. Well, that's what I've been calling it. I have headaches and often find myself in the middle of doing things that I don't remember starting. Kind of like a very severe daydream. I went on a walk a few days ago and in the middle of the walk I had completely forgotten that I was even walking and I ended up really fucking far from where I intended to walk to. I'm honestly start to get freaked out, I've never done this before." Uncle Matt sighed and I said "I know.. It sounds like I need a straight jacket." He said "Not at all, Lacey." He added "You know, what you're experiencing is actually hereditary." To my surprise I said "Wow really?" He said "Yes. It's happened to me and your father." I said "Well.... What is it?" He just kind of sighed and said "I don't really know how to explain it to you yet..." Then he completely changed the subject and said "You know, when your father lived up in that room he would count the stars when he had trouble sleeping." I said "Oh yeah? I've noticed them every night I've been here and they just last night they actually caught my attention for an extended period." He said "Oh really? What happened?" I said "What do you mean??? I just looked at them longer than I had before and then I rolled over and fell asleep.... Sorta." I started thinking to myself what could possibly happen from looking at the stars on the ceiling or maybe he just meant what happened as in did it help. He said "Well try counting them tonight. I'm curious to see the number you come up with. Your father said there was 205 last time he counted them. He may've added more since." I said "It does look like a galaxy up there. There's big ones, and small ones, I don't think I could possibly count all of them before falling asleep, but challenge accepted." Then we both giggled. While I was helping Uncle Matt clean up the kitchen after breakfast there was a knock at his door, and Matt excused himself to open it, then came back into the kitchen with the same pale look he had every time I asked a perculiar question. He said "Could you stay in here for a little bit, I have something to take care of in my office." I said "Uhhhh--" but before I could even think of something to say in response he said "Actually, you don't even have to finish the dishes. I got them, just go on back across the street." I asked "Is everything okay?" He said "Yes, I just have business to take care of. It's really important." Without hesitating I made it seem as if I was leaving and that I wasn't alarmed of the situation. However, I'm not an idiot. I ran back around the house, and snuck in the back door. I quietly made my way towards his office and hid inside of a hall closet to hear the conversation. I noticed there was two different male voices that my uncle addressed as Sam and Dean and I heard my uncle say "What they hell are you two doing here?" one of the voices said "You know why Matty." My uncle responded "You're not hunting Charlesport or Chance Harbor. I thought we made a deal." One of the voices responded and said "We did. That's not exactly why we're here." My uncle responded and said "Okay, Sam. Then why are you here?" Sam responded "We heard about your niece being in town. There's a lot of talk about how powerful she is and whatnot." The other voice began speaking, and now that I know which voice belongs to Sam, this one must be Dean, and he said "We just want to make sure you got everything under control. Both of our jobs can be jeaporadized if she..... Ya know..... Gets out of hand... Like Alex." My uncle snapped back and said "That won't happen." Sam said "We'll still watch over her like you requested." Dean said "If shit gets out of hand though, we'll have to operate." Uncle Matt said "You don't fucking hurt her." Sam said "Of course not." As I heard sounds indicating that the 'meeting' was ajurned I heard Dean say "Just a heads up, Matt; if we heard about your niece being in town all the way in North Dakota, then other, not so nice hunters probably have too. I hate to be the one to break it to you but you've officially hit the point where you're very low on time. You better hurry up." Matt didn't say anything in return and I heard the two boys exit. I started to think heavily about the situation that occurred earlier today as I sit in my room trying to come to terms and decipher exactly everything that had been said. When I couldn't do that, I began to try my hardest to convince myself that it was all just a very lucid figment of my imagination due to the severe lack of sleep. Later that night I did exactly what Uncle Matt said and I laid in bed and began to look at the ceiling then I quickly glanced over to the photo of me and my dad and smiled and said out loud "Hey daddy. Watch over me tonight, ok?" Then I looked back up to the ceiling let out one big sigh and said "Here goes nothing." I began to count each luminescent star. It's intriguing to me how many glow-in-the-dark stars my father stuck to the ceiling. How old was he when he did it I wonder? Something strange began to happen, I got to a count of thirteen then the stars began to move! They started to twinkle and spin in a circle just as they would appear in space. I jumped out of bed and ran for the light all while screaming. Chris and Quinn who was still there finishing some night shift stuff ran upstairs and busted in. I was sitting on the floor underneath the light switch in shock. Chris sat next to me and covered me with his jacket and he said "Are you okay?" I just started shaking as if I was very cold because I was and I said "Aren't you cold?" In a shaking voice and he said "Lacey it's 82 degrees outside I only had this jacket for a pillow....... Are you okay?" I didn't say nothing after that because I couldn't think of anything to say. I was still trying to recollect everything that just happened. Chris looks over to Quinn and said "Dude, go get Matt." Quinn hesitated at first but not in a "no, you go get Matt" sort of way but in a very shocked "what the hell is happening" sort of way, and Chris said "Dude, go!" A few moments later Quinn and Matt come rushing into my room and Matt asks Chris "What happened?" He said "I don't know she isn't saying anything, we heard her scream and found her like this." Matt kneels down and looks into my eyes and says "Lacey, what happened?" I start to fade out and hear echoes and my vision got blurry, just like the day of the car accident, I started holding my ears and I clinched my eyes shut and I started to cry. Uncle Matt pulls something out of his pocket but it's too blurry for me to make out what it is. He made me drink it and then after that there was complete darkness. I woke up the next morning around 11 o'clock on Matt's couch. I quickly remember faintly what happened. For some reason I feel completely refreshed and energized as if I've been awake for awhile now. Uncle Matt comes out from the kitchen and asked if I was hungry. I feel like I'm in Nightmare and Elm Street where Freddy Krueger had those kids running in a circle and experiencing the same day and moment over and over again. I said "What the hell happened last night?" He said "I don't know you tell me." I bluntly asked him if he drugged me last night and he said "Not exactly. I gave you an herbal mixture of medicines." I said "Soooo.... You drugged me?" He said "Yes, but not with drugs exactly.... It was all herbs." I said "I thought you didn't believe in that stuff.?" He said "I never said that. I just don't like Peter or his store. He doesn't do it right nor does he ever have the right ingridients yet he's luring in people and convincing them to buy bullshit." I started to grab my head again that instantly got a sharp pain and I started crying. I said "Uncle Matt I think something is happening to me. Something bad." He sat down on the couch next to me and he said "Lacey you need to tell me every single thing so I can help you." For whatever reason I feel as if now is the time to confess the truth. I said "I've been seeing things and hearing things. I can't tell the difference between reality and dreaming anymore." He said "Seeing and hearing what?" I said "Last night, the stars on the ceiling--" I interupped my own train of thought as if I wasn't committed to telling him this stuff anymore but Uncle Matt insisted and said "What about them?" That feeling where the words just roll off my tongue as if someone ripped my thoughts out came back and I said "They started to move, then I got really light headed and cold as I ran to the light switch. My vision went blurry by the time you showed up, I could hardly see anything, it was all so blurry, but I could hear everything. Literally. I can hear the fucking tick in your watch and your heart beat." I said all of that fast and over heavy sobbing. Uncle Matt for whatever reason did not look surprised to hear any of this and I shouted "What is happening to me and don't tell me you don't know!? I can tell you know everything that's happening to me just by looking at you. You've known all along." He sighed and grew pale again, but I changed my mind about every thing. I regret saying I like this place, I regret saying that I trusted Uncle Matt, and I regret ever telling him anything. I ran out of the house before he could speak, and I didn't go back to my room, I started running down the street. I had no idea where I was going but I just ran. I could hear Uncle Matt yelling for me to come back but I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to be around him anymore. I grew tired of running and just started walking around. I still didn't know the town all that well so I didn't exactly know where I was at. Then out of nowhere the streets started looking more and more familiar as if I've made this walk before, and then I saw the Pagan shop. I rolled my eyes and said I'm tired of this shit. I walked into the store and the Peter Gibbons guy looked really shocked. He said "Can I help you?" I said "Who the hell are you? Who the hell is my uncle? What the hell am I?" Peter looked scared and confused. I started to lash out because I was so confused with myself and the whole situation. I started breaking things in the store yelling that it was all bullshit but the auto piolet feeling took over. I looked back at Peter out of breath and kind of filled with regret and he looked as if he seen a ghost. He was about to call the police and I head Uncle Matt say "That won't be necessary, Pete." Peter said "Are you fucking kidding me? She destroyed my store, Matt. I'm calling the police or you will pay for the damages." Uncle Matt said "I'm not paying for shit, and just remember who you're messing with before you make that phone call." Peter's face grew angry but with defeat. Uncle Matt looked at me but didn't say anything, and firmly grabbed my arm. I yanked away from his grip once we got out of the store. I said "Leave me alone." He said "Lacey I can help you." I said "I don't want your fucking help."

[makadelikz]

something about her 3/19/2018

Something About Her

This house is empty, dusty, stagnant, and stuck in time. Quickly abandoned, with things scattered about. The inhabitants left almost every thing stuck in time and left in a rush. I remember the last time I was here. It was five years ago and I was telling her "don't wait on me" and "I love you." I made her promise, and she obviously kept it.

PART 1: The Beginning

Chapter One:

There was a girl one night that caught Vince's attention at the bar he tended. She came in alone, didn't talk to anyone and drank one Corona but stayed 'til closing. Vince wasn't all too sure why he couldn't stop glancing in her direction. Of course, she was gorgeous, but Vince sees attractive women every day, and as a bartender those women were practically throwing themselves at him. It was her enigma that made her so appealing. The look in her eyes showed emptiness. Vince knows from experience that an emotion like that only comes from a lifetime of pain. Emptiness is the feeling you get when pain no longer harms you because you're expecting it from the very start so your body numbs itself in prepreation. It also in a way disappoints you, because some small part, deep in your soul had hoped, even if it was just for a moment, that this time things could be different. Emptiness is a catastrophic emotion. However, she isn't self-destructing by filling her system with toxins. Stopped at only one beer which is not something Vince usually sees from anyone at the bar, especially the empty-eyed ones that have come before her. Vince isn't the one to intervene, he stays to himself but he couldn't resist. Something was telling him that he may never see her again, and something about that voice in his head wasn't sitting right with him. Vince doesn't even know her name, why should he care if he never sees her again? Vince kept trying to talk himself out of it. However, this feeling in his gut, that he's pretty sure he's never felt before in the entirety of his life, was persistent and urging him to say something. Vince was also feeling nervous; yet another feeling foreign to him. He's usually a sweet talker. He wasn't even sure he wanted to sweet talk her though, that's the thing about it that makes this feeling seem crazy to him. He just knew that there was something about this moment he didn't want to end. Twenty or so minutes before closing time he coughed up the courage, but it wasn't exactly smooth. He said "Hey, I'm Vince." The girl looked up hesitantly and her eyes, so empty, but so bright at the same time, met his gaze. There was silence and a pause but the the most calming smile hit him in the chest and made his heart sink to his stomach. She responds softly "I'm Lacey." Vince being unprepared for this in every way shape or form responded with "You have the most gorgeous eyes. I've never seen any so green before." After Vince says this he notices her smile fade and her eyes glance back down to the bar. He immediately felt the urge to apologize but she looked back up before he could and said "thank you," in that sweet, soft-spoken voice yet again. Vince knows if he tries to keep the conversation going at this point he'll appear desperate because she doesn't seem very talkitive. So he's reluctant but slowly walks away tending to some of the last few customers at the bar. By the time he finishes with them he turns around to find mystery girl gone with cash on the bar and one empty Corona Lite. An unusual wave of saddness takes over Vince for a split second as he realized he'll probably never see her again and all he knows about her is her name and her beautiful empty eyes. As he goes to collect the money he notices a note written on a napkin. He assumes it was her phone number at first even though she didn't strike him as that kind of girl. As he picked it up one of the other bartenders notices his smile and assumes the same thing "Getting lucky tonight, Vince?" The co-worker asked condenscendingly. Vince says "not exactly," before putting the note in his pocket, and he's not entirely sure why he did. He read the note one last time: "I've never seen eyes so blue."

Chapter Two: As weeks turn into months the girl from that night is just a memory. A memory stored in the back of Vince's mind, one he often forgets about; that is until he feels the napkin in his wallet. Vince isn't the kind of guy to be this way. This is something that could fall under the category of romantic, something he has never been. He keeps the napkin tucked behind some old business cards he's received from customers. Cards of businesses that caught his attention at first, but he has never actually been to. Kind of like napkin girl, except she actually crosses his mind from time to time. Vince doesn't boast about it, but he's been with tons of girls, and none of them he's ever thought about again. Vince has never even touched Lacey's skin and the thought of wanting to crosses his mind whenever that night does. However, when he thinks that it's not that same way he thinks or feels about any other girl. Getting with girls was not a problem for him, but his hookups were just to fulfill an urge. Something about napkin girl was a desire, not just an urge that needed to be released. He knows this because he's relieved himself of that urge quite a few times since Lacey was in the bar, and yet the thought of her still creeps back into his mind.

Chapter Three:

After closing one night, instead of going home Vince took a stroll on the beach right otuside his work. This was becoming something he'd do every night. Something about the empty, dark beach with angry crashing waves from the vast ocean reminded him a lot about the way he felt inside. If something so like him, in nature, can be so beautiful, then so is he. On the outside Vince is stubborn, stand-offish, angry at the world, and most people find him to be short-tempered and an asshole. However, just like a turtle, he keeps a tough outside to protect his soft inside. As he was watching the waves and walking the shoreline he trips and falls over something, and when he picks himself back up he realizes it was a person and he immediately snapped and said "Watch it, bitch." The girl who was drifting off into a daze, minding her own business staring at the stars yells "You're the one who wasn't paying attention, asshole!" Vince begins to snap off again even harder than the first time but quickly catches himself  as his eyes adjust to her face and his brain starts to recognize the voice. It was napkin girl. He was so sure of it. He knew he would recognize her face if he ever saw it again. After all, he's thought about it countless times. He starts to talk before thinking his sentence through and said "You're napkin girl." The girl responds and says "Um, excuse me?" He said "Your name is Lacey, right?" She says "Um, yeah. How did yo--" Vince cuts her off because he doesn't want to seem creepy and said "Good memory. I remember all my customers." Lacey said "Oh my god. You're Vince, the bartender at The Tiki. I didn't recognize you at first, it's too dark to see your eyes." This comment made Vince lighten up. He felt as if only the way he was feeling inside could somehow manifest into something physical, it would be a lighthouse illuminating the entire beach. Before Vince could say anything else she asked in that same soft, sweet voice "You actually read the napkin?" Vince didn't want to admit that he kept it, and by now it's been ten months since that night and he removed the napkin from his wallet a couple months prior, but keeping it in a drawer in his nightstand. He still thinks it's pretty weird himself so it's definitely not something he would ever say out loud especially to the napkin girl herself. "Yes I did. You know, you could've just said it to me?" Vince said as he tried to sound like the napkin was never serious to him, but even in the dark beach he can see her glance down as if she seemed disappointed by his tone. He said "But I loved it." She then looks up and that same heart-warming smile hits him again leaving him with the same feeling it did the first time he saw it. Vince not risking the chance of losing her for another ten months or possibly forever, is encouraged to keep the conversation going this time. He was still so unsure why he cared so much and he wanted to know why he was so drawn to this girl. The thought of never getting to know her is driving him crazy. He asked "So why are you out here so late? It's 3AM." Vince knows this is boring, and a cliche silence breaker, but he's desperate, and he won't admit that. She responds with a question back at him instead of an answer, the same question he had just asked, only aiding to her inscrutable personality. She asked "What are you doing out here so late?" He said "I just closed the bar and got off work. Your turn." She said "Touche." She turned her head towards the waves and completely avoided answering and said "The ocean scares me, but at the same time it's beautiful." Vince wans't sure if this was her way of answering his boring, generic question but he'll take any glimpse of life through her eyes. He wanted to see things from her reality, not just his. Vince said "I don't care much for it. Never been a beach-goer." She asks "Then why are you here?" Vince glances over at her and wonders why she asked the same question as if she was expecting a different answer. He said "I told you. I just got off work." She said "No, I meant why are you really here?" Vince now confused and feeling put on the spot gets defensive, it's in his nature. He said "But you never answered that same question. Why should I?" She said "You don't have to we're just two wanderers on two different paths It just happened to cross." Vince wasn't sure how to interpret that but he liked how she viewed the world as if it was some glorious, purposeful journey when he had only viewed the world as a giant space rock filled with shitty people who are just passing time, waiting to expire. Vince said "This is the second time we've passed. Kind of just makes me wonder which one of us is going in circles." Lacey glanced over at him as if she was intrigued he thought of it that way and she said "Not circles. Paths can cross more than once. Do you believe that's usually for a reason?" Vince is appalled by the way she thinks. Her outer beauty is definitely astounding but her inner beauty was something so alien to Vince's life, but he can't walk away because he feels so in awe. He doesn't want to discourage her from talking, he likes hearing what she has to say, but he has no real answer for her. He's not quite sure he believes in really anything he can't see, hear, or touch. He said "I don't know, I've never really looked at life that way." What she responded with made him feel connected to her in more ways than he could explain. She said "I used to be the same way, but then I went looking." He asked "Looking for what?" "Nothing in particular." She responded. Vince asked "Then how do you know you've found it?" She says "Who said that I did?" He asked "Well, if you don't know what you're looking for, then why are you still looking? Isn't that exhausting?" She smiles and says "The secret to find is stop searching. I'm not sure what I'll find I just kinda always hoped it would find me. I guess that's better than just floating through life, right?" All Vince wants to do is talk to this girl all night and just like the night at the bar, this is a moment he doesn't want to end, and he doesn't want her to slip away again. He asked "Can we hang out again sometime?" That same hesitation from the bar that night returns, but she ultimately said "yes." Vince asked "Well, can I get your number?" She said "No number. I'll find you. I know where you work." She gave one last smile and walked off. Vince pinched himself to see if he was dreaming. Then he sighed heavily when he realized how stupid that was. He looked at the time on his phone and realized they had been talking for over an hour. Despite her witty wisdom and beautiful outlook on the world he knew she was in pain. He could feel her pain, as if her pain was his too. As he was walking to his car thinking about all of this he gets the urge to protect her. A girl shouldn't be walking these streets alone this late at night, but then he realized he didn't even see which direction she went after she got off the beach. She's far out of his sight now, but certainly not out of his mind.

Chapter Four: Since that night on the beach Vince actually went into work with enthusiasm, something  he has never done, as proved by all his co-workers seeing him smile. He never smiles. They all would ask why he was in such a good mood lately, but he would brush them off, but the real reason is he is incredibly eager. Almost like a kid would be the night before Christmas. Every time someone walks through the door he hopes it her. As the days turn into weeks Vince started to lose hope thinking that was it, that was the last time he would ever see her. His smile faded and to the world he was back to his original grumpy self on the outside. However, his subconcious, the part that holds hope kept trying to convince himself to not give up that hope, keep eagerly looking at that door. It was the same voice in his head that convinced him to ever talk to Lacey in the first place. So he listened. Two weeks later he heard the bell that rang every time the door opens and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He turns to look at whoever walked in and this sense of bliss took over him when he saw her. She looked amazing, and her hair was wavy tonight when the previous times it had been straight and she wore this black romper that almost blended right in with her black hair, with velvety grey thigh-high boots. She looked so majestic. She looked like she didn't belong in a place like this, but like she needed to be walking the streets of Downtown LA instead with paparazzi chasing her. He just stares at her in awe, the only thing he knows how to do when he sees her. He waited for her to walk through the crowd and reach the bar to find him. That's what she said she would do. He was terrified of seeming desperate. He's not even sure why he is desperate to talk to her. In fact, he's unsure of his emotions every time she's near or on his mind. She reaches the bar and actually gets attention from a lot of people. Vince can see heads turn tonight the same way his did the first night. Vince assumes it's because she's glowing. Was she eager to see him too? Vince wasn't worried about the other guys in the bar throwing glances because they're only looking now because of one reason and he knows that Lacey isn't dumb enough to fall for them. At least that's what he had hoped, mostly because she's dressed up and glowing, and Vince noticed her even when she was gloomy. He thought she was beautiful either way. He also thought how incredible it was that she was in almost all black but still managed to illuminate the entire room. As Vince was trying not to seem desperate, as he was so afraid of doing, he pretended he didn't see her right away even though he noticed her the moment she walked in. He quickly realized that was a mistake as one of the other bartenders walked over to her first. Vince despised this bartender, he took advantage of drunk girls at the bar and was the scummiest piece of shit Vince has ever met. So he quickly intervened nearly shoving the  other bartender out of the way and looks Lacey directly in the eyes and she instantly smiles with that gorgeous, hypnotizing smile that Vince doesn't believe he'll ever get used to and it was the first time Vince smiled back, as if he felt so accomplished and he thought he can see her blush. He asked "Corona Lite?" The other bartender so "Dude what the fuck? I got to her first you can't just steal customers like that." Before Vince could respond Lacey said to the other bartender while pointing at Vince "I'm his customer now." Vince smiled even harder now. The other bartender accepted defeat and stomped off angrily. Lacey said to Vince continuing their drink conversation "You do have a good memory." Vince only remembered things he wanted to. Everyone else was so easy to forget. She continued and said "But I think I'm going to switch it up tonight." Vince said "Whatever you want. Even if we don't have it I'll make it my duty that you receive it." She laughed, and Vince couldn't help but slightly be distracted by his pounding heart and sweaty palms. Lacey confessed after a heavy sigh "That's the thing though. I don't drink much. I don't know what I like." Vince says "Guess that explains why you only had one bottle." Lacey only half smiles this time. Vince says "Well then, we should start you off with something fruity. How about a strawberry dacquiri?" She said "I haven't had one of those since I was fifteen." Vince chuckles and says "Well, strawberry dacquiri it is then." Someone at the bar sparks conversation with Lacey and Vince can overhear and for whatever reason he feels rage in his body. He knows he's short-tempered but he has never been this easily triggered before. As Vince is making Lacey's drink he eavesdrops on the conversation. It made him feel better to hear she didn't seem interested. Vince has heard guys every night use the same cliche conversation starters in weak attempts to flirt, and he knows that more than half of the time they don't work, but this time made him angered simply because someone was trying it on Lacey. He knew just by her aura that she's too good for them and their shitty pickup lines. After Vince made the drink he brought it back to her, and felt more confident in himself to hold conversation with her this time. He wasn't concerned about any of the other patrons in the bar, and he didn't care if all he made tonight was whatever Lacey tipped him. He only wanted to be focused on her. She seemed to be happier tonight than the other night's he's seen her. She seemed to be more confident in herself too. Lacey said "So Vince..... Tell me about yourself." He said "There's not much to talk about." Lacey said "I doubt that." Vince said "Why don't you go first." Lacey looked down and her smile faded and said "Because it's depressing." This gave Vince a heavy feeling in his chest, not only because he knows exactly what she's feeling. He doesn't know what makes her life depressing, he just knows she has a terrible past. He sensed it from the moment he first laid eyes on her. He also has a shitty past, one that he refuses to think about. Vince said "I know exactly how that feels." Lacey looked up, and in an odd way, looked amused to hear this. She looked like she found refuge in another human being. Someone she could hopefully confide in. She said "I would ask how so, but I don't want to be a hypocrite. I'm not willing to reveal my secrets, so I doubt you are." Vince said "They're not so much secrets. They're just terrible memories I prefer not to dwell on." Lacey said "I understand, except my terrible memories are still happening. Every day." Vince said "Is there anything I can do to help you?" This sent Lacey into a frozen-like state. She looked as if she wanted to hold on to Vince for dear life, as if he was a bouy in dangerous waters, but she also looked terrified of admitting that she needed help. Vince sensed an urge of fear, as if her life was threatened by something, or someone. It made him feel like Lacey was suddenly his only priority. Lacey didn't answer him but said "Vince. I appreaciate you. I do. But I have to go, and I don't know if I'll ever be back. I'm sorry." Vince chased her out the door and followed her outside. The chill in the air hit his spine and instantly numbed his fingertips. He grabbed Lacey's arm in attempt to make her stop and turn around, and she flinched. That flinch said it all. Someone was hurting her. Her life was at stake. He couldn't guess the circumstance, but that flinch was too familiar. It was the same flinch he had every time his father raised his voice. Lacey couldn't move, almost as if she was frozen with fear again. Vince said "I wouldn't hurt you." She looked up at him, with tears forming in her eyes. She said "I can't be here. I'm risking a lot because you are so great to talk to." Vince said "Lacey please. I can tell you're in pain, emotionally and spirtually, maybe even physically. I want to help you." Lacey said "Vince you don't even know me. Don't make me your problem. That's all that's going to happen. I don't wanna be your problem." Vince said "Look, Lacey. I don't know your situation in detail, but you know where to find me when you feel you need a safety net. Don't ask me why I care so much, because I don't know. There's just something about you." Vince added "I can give you a ride home." Lacey said "It's better if you don't. Just in case." She started to walk off, but turned around and looked at Vince one more time with the most desperate call for help, Vince didn't realize that at the time. In retrospect, he realized that Lacey chose that night to go to the bar to see Vince because she was scared to go home. She didn't want to get too attached to Vince because she didn't want to hurt him. She was afraid that when she went home she would die and it would only leave Vince scarred. He understands now.

Part 2: Lacey

Chapter Five:

[makadelikz]

the girl next door 3/19/2018

The Girl Next Door ♥ CHAPTER ONE:

The sound of moving trucks awoke Leon from his sleep. He gazes out the window with a frowned and restless face, and sees two big Uhaul trucks next door at the house that's been abandoned for six months. The last people who lived there just seemingly disappeared and Leon's curiousity grew because he never recalled seeing 'for sale' signs putting the house on the market for any new owners, and why would the previous owners who just up and vanished be moving stuff back into their house when they never took anything with them in the first place? However, his greatest concern at the moment was the loud Uhaul truckers waking him up so early, but he shortly realized he can't exactly be angry when he looked at the time -- 2:30 PM. Leon walks away from the window and hops in the shower, and afterwards sits on his bed, pulls out a black tray and begins to break a nug to roll a blunt. His roommate, and friend, Vince knocked on the door, but barged in anyway, realized he was about to smoke a blunt and joined him. Vince said "Did you see that someone is moving into the mysterious house next door?" Leon responds "Yeah, woke my ass up." Vince condenscendingly, but in a jokingly manner said "That's what you get for living in the attic. You can hear everything outside through these windows. I sleep like a baby in my room." Leon jabs back and said "No, you sleep like a baby after your daily six pack." Leon knew Vince was just being his usual self, with the disdainful remarks, but he ultimately knew that Vince means no harm. Vince is a straight-up guy. If he didn't like you he would tell you, and tell you exactly why he doesn't like you. He's not a fake chit-chat kind of guy. Vince sometimes doensn't take the jabs as well as he throws them out though and responded with "Fuck you, I don't get drunk every day and you know I'm fucking right." Leon responds in a tone as if he's sarcastically agreeing with him just to get him to be quiet about the topic, but Leon did know that he was right about the windows. He then added "But I was the last pick of the batch, it's not like I had much of a choice. It was the attic or the streets." Vince lowers his head and realized that he may've hit a soft spot for Leon, but then proceeds to walk out the room anyway shouting "See you tonight for the race," while running down the attic stairs. The attic was renovated and turned into a bedroom specifically for Leon. So the windows aren't meant to dillute as much sound as one of the bedroom windows considering the attic, like any ordinary attic, is generally used for storage, or not used at all. That's what Leon felt like most of the time, just storage. Just useless clutter taking up space.  Leon was happy to have a place to call home however, whether he slept in the attic or in the shed out back. A home isn't really something he's used to having up until now. Now all Leon needs is to get used to opening up to people more. As 5:00 rolls around the other housemates get home from their daily lives of blending into the societal norm only to prep for a night filled with illicit activites. It's mostly their participation in the underground street racing world, that the leader of this house and crew practically invented in this area. His name is Dominic Toretto and he refers to his crew as family. He's very selective about who he trusts and even more so about who he lets in his direct crew. Dominic's right hand man is Vince Scaletta who is the hard-headed, quick-tempered one of the batch. Complete opposite of Dom's calm, level-headed way of thinking, and wise decision making. However, Vince is extremely loyal and trustworthy. He doesn't give much of a damn about anyone or anything at all, but if he does care about you, then you mean the world to him. Vince and Dom have been lifelong friends since the third grade. Way before the corrupt street life played a hand in anything. The most 'innocent' one of the crew is Mia, Dom's sister. She keeps the crew in check. She doesn't exactly participate in the charlatan activites of the crew because she doesn't agree with much of it. However, she is very aware of it all and just turns the other cheek. Her major role of the crew is the front of running the Toretto Cafe. It makes it appear as if all the family income comes from the family owned businesses rather than the illegal heists and street races. Then there's Leticia Ortiz. Call her Letty. She's Dom's girlfriend and they've known each other since junior high. They grew up together, always sneaking out and going to their own little drag races. That was back when they raced just for the fun of it rather than street cred. However, that's where this whole gig began. That just leaves Jesse Green and Leon Morgan, who unlike the rest of the crew, do not have significant amount of history with Dom. They come from different parts of the world and have their own histories. However, Dom saw something in them to give them a chance and he clearly trusts them with his life otherwise they wouldn't be apart of the crew and would've never moved in. Jesse is the smart techie of the crew. He has a history of hacking computers and high-tech security systems, among other things. He turned his hobby into designing mods for street racing cars and he knows his way around an engiene like the back of his hand and that was obviously his guaranteed initiation. However, he has the sweetest personality and honestly wouldn't hurt a fly, which makes him different from the rest of the crew by far. He isn't a very physical person and generally avoids confrontation. Jesse's first run-in with the crew was by accident when he was running into the garage, pleading for help, running from a group of people who basically wanted him dead. Still nobody knows exactly why they were after him. To Jesse's luck, Dom is highly respected in the streets, especially on his turf and they backed down with their tails between their legs. Jesse doesn't appear to be anyone who would be apart of this life, his appearance says cliche stoner kid who plays too much video games but he wasn't running from a group of people who wanted him dead for no reason. Finally that just leaves Leon who just happened to cross paths with Toretto unintentionally. He was making bets on drag races at Race Wars, which is the legal monthly event founded by Toretto. Leon was making bets without knowing that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd and the racers, but the thing that makes this event legal is that it bans gambling. So as a result, Leon assumed he was the only one amongst the crowd making bets, but illegal activity is not out of his norm. Dom found out he made a pretty huge bet on him to win so he confronted Leon and asked "Why'd you place so much money down? What made you $800 dollars sure that I was going to win? That's a lot of money to throw down on a ten second race." Leon bluntly responded "Because muscle always beats import." Just that response alone and Dom was interested in getting to know Leon. He found out Leon was homeless and made an income off selling drugs and making bets. Dom took him in immediately but Leon having this enigma and not very open with talking about his past or himself in general he really had to work for Toretto's trust, which he ineviatebly got.

CHAPTER TWO:

After the race, which of course Dom won, the crew heads home to celebrate like they normally do. Leon stayed outside to smoke a blunt by himself, being the introvert that he is. But just as he was about to spark it he noticed a very young and beautiful girl at the mysterious, Uhaul truck, house next door. Leon stares in awe at her beauty and with curiousity as she seems to be alone. Instead of sparking the blunt he sparks up the courage to go talk to her and introduces himself and says "Hey. I'm Leon. I live next door." The girl is a bit startled and hesitates to respond. Perhaps it was because she wasn't expecting to be approached in a new neighborhood, especially at eleven o'clock at night. Leon notices that she was a bit startled and said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just saw you were moving boxes all by yourself and figured I could lend a hand." The girl said "It's okay I'm not frightened. Just wasn't expecting to be spoken to since I don't know anyone here." Then she let out an innocent laugh. She continued and said "My name is Lacey, by the way, and I appreaciate the offer, but I only have a few boxes left and they're quite small and I wouldn't want to waste your time." She pointed to Leon's house with cars piling up outside and said "Besides, they might be looking for you." Leon said "They're not worried about me, and it's no problem. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask; and I literally mean anything... I work on electrical stuff, plumbing stuff. I'm very handy." Lacey says "That's actually really good to know, thank you." She smiles so brightly even in the dark of the night.  Leon almost doesn't want to walk away, he wants to continue talking to her, but he knows he has to go home now. He knows that if he tries to overstay his welcome Lacey might feel off about him. He said "Well, goodnight and welcome to the neighborhood." She said in a soft and gentle voice "Goodnight." When Leon gets back to his house he heads for his room, ignoring the crowd which is not unusual for him to do, but before he could make it to his room Vince stopped him and asked "Where you going twinkle toes?" It was a gay joke implying that's what Leon is for not wanting to party. Leon responds short and blunt and said "To my room." "Come on, have one beer. There's all kinds of hot chicks here too. Maybe you'll walk up to your attic with a girl in your arm for once." Vince said and Leon replied "Nah, I'm good. I'm tired." Vince shouts "Come on dude, when's the last time you even got laid?" As Leon continues to walk away he shouts "None of your business, Vince." With Vince knowing he wasn't going to break through Leon tonight he casually retreats back to the party. Leon lays in bed as the faint party sounds surround him. It's not that he's anti-social it's just that the party scenes aren't necessarily his thing. As he tries to ignore the sounds of a large crowd his mind drifts off to Lacey, next door. He doesn't seem to understand why he can't get her off his mind. He's been with tons of girls socially and sexually before, but not one has ever stayed on his mind for too long after the encounter. But this girl, he actually had to muster up the courage to just introduce himself. At this point he assumed that it must be the blunt he eventually got to smoking that's affecting his thought process and he decides that he will sleep it off and the thoughts will go away.

CHAPTER THREE:

The next afternoon Leon wakes up peacefully. This time there were no loud Uhaul truckers yelling and making a ton of noise. This time there was no Vince barging in and making himself comfortable. He rolls out of bed and continues to go about his daily routine. As he's driving to clock in at his normal job at Toretto's Garage as a mechanic he involuntarily glances at the house next door as it's nearly impossible to overlook. Every thought about the girl next door had almost slipped his mind until now. Leon found himself thinking about her the whole drive to work. Leon thought about all kinds of things this time -- not just about her smile and looks. This time he wondered what her day-to-day life is like, what she does for a living, and how she lives by herself when she appears to be too young to be a homeowner. Usually girls Lacey's age were renting shitty apartments or living with their parents while they attend college. Leon estimated her age to be around twenty since it was nearly impossible by her looks for her to be any older. Leon still found himself wondering about the mysterious girl next door even when distracted by brake jobs, tune-ups, and annoying, pestering customers who felt the need to stand over Leon's back and watch him work on their cars as if they didn't trust him to do his job correctly. Jesse comes up to Leon on his break and sparked conversation about the hosue next door, how convenient.  He said "Did you realize someone lives in that creepy house next door now?" Leon tries to act like the girl next door hasn't been on his mind at all but he can't think of a response fast enough and just said "I know." Those words still keep him under the radar. Jesse said "I wonder who else lives there with her?" Leon said "I think she's just by herself. She's the only one I've seen." Jesse shot him a bewildered look and said "Well, I guess, but highly unlikely." Now Leon is the one puzzled and asked "How is it highly unlikely?" Jesse responded "How many high schoolers you know own their own house?" Leon was shocked and said "Woah. What do you mean high school? How do you know she's in high school?" Jesse said "Gees, dude, relax, and because she was wearing a uniform and carrying a backpack..." Leon drops the topic and is now actually pretty bummed. He knew she looked pretty young but given the circumstance, the possibility of her being in high school never crossed his mind. As Leon is drivig back home for a low-key night he notices the girl next door sitting on her porch. He tries to ignore her given the new-found information and it worked for the few split seconds he was pulling into the driveway. He was going to walk for the door without saying anything but the girl waved at him and all his compusure seemed to slip through the palm of his hands like sand. He waved back and walked over to her. As he was approaching he smelt something he was all too familiar with-- marijuana. He approached the porch and she asked "Wanna hit?" Leon just shook his head as she passes him the blunt. Lacey looked up to him and said "Well, aren't you gonna sit down? You can't just smoke my weed then leave." Leon didn't react fast so Lacey said "I'm kidding. You can leave if you want." Leon said "Nah, sorry, I was just-- never mind." Then he proceeds to sit next to her and she noticed the mechanic jumpsuit and asked one of those questions that she already knew the answer to, but asked it simply for the purpose of sparking conversation. "You work on cars too?" Leon responded with "Yup. Told you, I'm pretty handy." He looks at Lacey and notices her high school uniform: plaid skirt, white button-up shirt, a tie, and shin-high socks. He asked "So, you're in high school?" Lacey responded in a disappointed tone and said "Yeah. I failed a grade. I was supposed to graduate last year. So now I have to go to this "high-end secondary school" to catch up on credits and graduate. I should be done in one semester." Hearing this made Leon feel so much better but he had to ask for reassurance. "So how old are you?" She responds "I'm eighteen, I'll be nineteen in January." Leon just seemed to shake his head with comfort now as he slightly grins. Lacey asked "How old are you?" Leon said "I'm twenty-one. I'll be twenty-two next month in November." Just as Leon was about to get behind the mystery of the house she was living in and who she may be living with he heard Vince yell for him next door and Lacey jokingly said "I guess your crufew's up.'' Leon laughed because he could tell she was just joking but lately he hasn't seemed to take jokes very lightly. However, he said "Talk to you later." He glanced back one more time to see her smile. As he gets back to his yard him and Vince walk up to the house together all whilst Leon stares back at the girl until he couldn't see her anymore upon walking into the house. Vince sits on the couch and said "Could you be anymore fucking pathetic? Also, you need to be careful bro." Leon was confused and said "Careful with what?" Vince said "The girl next door. She's like twelve." Leon looked at him with a pissed off "mind your own business" kind of expression and said "She's eighteen." Vince asked in a smart ass tone "Oh, is that what she told you?" Leon ignored him and Vince said "All I'm saying is that she's wearing a school uniform and it just doesn't look right. Unless you want to register your name and alert the neighborhood with a red dot for the rest of your life, I suggest you fuck some chick that comes to our parties, or go to a bar or some shit. Like I don't know, try fucking with a girl who doesn't ride the school bus and won't ask you for help on her homework." Leon said "Fuck off. She said said she was eighteen." Vince let out a huge laugh and said "Yeah, I was messing with this one girl for a couple hours once. I met her at a party in Glendale. Just as we were about to fuck she asked if I could give her a ride to school the next day.... She lied to me, but if I would've fucked her my ass would've been the one in trouble. Just be careful man. That's all I'm saying." Leon said "Look bro, it's none of your goddamn business who I talk to, who I fuck, anything. I still have a personal life, just because we're family or whatever the fuck you guys like to call it, doesn't mean every single aspect of my life is your business. I could go next door right now and fuck that girl.. If she was in to it.... Doesn't concern you at all." Vince just gave him a dirty ass look and Leon said "You know what, you probably care so much because you have a guilty conscience. You did fuck that underaged Glendale girl didn't you?" Vince started laughing and said "Absolutely not, but part of me wishes she never told me her real age she was fucking hot, but I would never do that. Girls like the one next door just get you in trouble bro. Of course she's going to tell you she's eighteen. All I'm saying is don't fuck her unless you know for a fact that she's eighteen." Leon said "Why would she have a reason to fucking lie? Also, are you telling me to take my time and take her on a date, meet her parents....?" Vince chuckled and said "Shit, dude, I wasn't even thinking about her parents. You can have fun with that shit." Leon asked "Have you met any of girl's you've been with, parents?" Vince laughed and said "Hell no." Leon tried to divert the topic in hopes to get the scoop about her living situation. He asked "Does she even live with her parents? There's never anybody over there. Never a car in the driveway, like nobody." Vince said "I don't know she's the only one I've seen. She's probably got rich parents that are always on a vacation cruise or some shit." Leon said "Hmmm..." Vince said "Maybe she's an international spy, and is spying on us to bust our heists." Vince laughed to himself while walking to the fridge to grab another beer. Leon didn't seem to think it was quite funny, however.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The next night around 3AM, Vince, Leon, and Jesse are still up watching TV in the living room, and kicking back with a few beers, when all of the sudden there was obnoxious banging on the door. Vince impusively grabbed the shotgun next to him whilst Leon simultaneously gripping his .22 pistol. Jesse with his slight innocence, made the impulsive decision to rush to the door to open it, thinking it was one of the crew members who got locked out. Leon said "Are you stupid!?" Vince said "Look out the window first, but don't make it obvious." Jesse looked out the window as discreetly as he could, all whilst the door was still being pounded on. He saw a frantic girl, with torn clothing. He turned back to Vince and Leon and said "I... I think it's the girl next door." Leon loosens up his tense grip to the pistol and said "What!?" He rushes to the door and Vince called out "She ain't got no business being up in here, we don't know that girl for shit." Leon ignored him and opened the door anyway as Lacey falls into his arms. She's so distraught she can hardly relieve a full sentence and can't stop shaking. Leon sat her down on the couch trying to calm her down, as he notices her clothes are torn, and have blood stains, and she has a massive cut on her lip with a matching black, partially swollen eye. Vince, attempting to be intimidating (and it worked) sat down with a heavy sigh to insinuate that he's frustrated, on to the coffee table right in front of Lacey as he holds the shotgun over his shoulder. Jesse brought her a bag of frozen vegetables for her lips and eye. Vince made a sarcastic remark and said "Great. Bring the stranger peas. That'll make her feel welcomed." Leon grabs the bag from Jesse's hands still attempting to ignore Vince and slightly put the bag up to Lacey's lips. He asked "What's happened?" Lacey clinched her teeth and tried to force the tears back and Leon said "We want to help you." Vince interrupted him and said "He wants to help you." Leon shot him this look of impatience and looked back to Lacey and said "I can't help you, if I don't know what happened." Lacey's breathing finally calmed down enough to explain the situation through short gasps of air. She said "It all happened so fast, I don't even know where to begin." Leon said "Begin with the first thing you remember." Lacey said "I was walking home from school around seven, I stayed late to get more work done, and this guy, he jumped me. I don't know what for. He didn't rape me, at least I don't think, but he didn't take my money, but he knew my name. I've never seen this guy before in my life. I remember him walking away, and that's the last thing I remember. I woke up on the ground hours later, barely remembering anything. I didn't even remember where I was at the time." The tears came rushing back. Leon looked startled because he was unaware of how to help in this situation. However, all he could think about was finding this guy and hurting him way worse than he's hurt Lacey. Leon didn't know why he felt so deeply for this girl in such a short time, but when he looked at her all beaten up he felt enraged. Vince said "You know you live next door though, right? Why'd you come here?" Jesse said "That's a little rude." Leon said "Fuck off, Vince." Lacey said "Because I live alone, and I don't want to be alone." Her voice cracked and a tear streamed down her face. There was a short moment of silence and Leon asked "I hate to steer away from the subject but, how does a high school girl live alone in a house?" She said "I never met my father, my mother is a junkie prostitue-- well, was. She's in prison now. It's my uncle's house. After my mom went to prison, I came here. I've contacted my uncle, but he hasn't responded." Jesse said "Wait. You've been living in that house alone, the entire time, not knowing where your uncle is?" Lacey shook her head, yes, and she added "I have no where else to go, and my uncle said if I ever needed a place to stay, I could go to the house whenever I wanted. It's not his main house, he owns a lot of properties, from Florida, to here, and even in Hawaii. I just don't where he is." Vince said "Not that I care too much, I'm just curious, but who the hell is your uncle? He sounds pretty important to have that much money." Lacey just responded with "He's important, but not well-known. There's a reason for that." Vince kneeled to be eye-to-eye with Lacey and said "Well princess, don't you think that just maybe, these two scenarios play hand-in-hand?" Lacey said "There's no way they'd know who I am." Leon said "I hate to agree with Vince, but I'm gonna have to agree with Vince on this one." Jesse asked "What does your uncle do, exactly? It obviously can't be legal." Vince gave Jesse a little slap against the back of his head and said "No shit, sherlock." Lacey responded very bluntly and said "He just sells a lot of drugs." Vince said "Define a lot." Lacey said "A lot." Vince said "Are you saying he's Pablo fucking Escobar?" Lacey said "Look, I don't know very many details, I just know he's well off, and I like never see him." Leon looked surprised. Vince's expression didn't change much, but on the inside he was intrigued. Jesse was shocked, he's never been this close to a real-life drug lord mobster, even though it was just the niece of one-- a nameless one at that. Lacey said "I'm sorry for coming here. I just didn't want to be alone." Leon said "Nah, don't worry about it. Remember, I told you if you ever needed anything you can come to me? Well, this constitutes as anything, and I'm glad you came to me." Vince was signaling an innapropiate hand gesture implying that Leon is a jerk-off. Lacey notices but doesn't say anything. She said back to Leon "I just... Don't really like talking to the police." Vince said "No shit, we don't either." Lacey was a little taken back by Vince saying that, and it made her realize that she wasn't quite sure about who these people are and whether or not she could actually trust them. She feels very content with Leon, but unsure about the rest. Espeicially Vince. Words seem to roll off her tongue when talking to Leon and she's now unsure as to why she even said those things about her uncle. She's realizing now that she's probably made a huge mistake. She's hoping that they maybe won't believe her simply because of how bluntly she said it. No one just straight up discloses information like that without any hesitation. Leon gripped Lacey's shoulder in a reassuring comforting squeeze and said "You can stay here tonight if you want." Before Lacey could shake her head Vince said "Yeah, and now Leon can finally hug something in his bed besides his cock-shaped pillow." Lacey turned to Leon with bewilderment and asked "You have a--" and was cut off by Leon saying "No, I do not have a cock shaped pillow." Then he rolled his eyes and gave an aggressive look to Vince who is now hysterically laughing and Vince said "She actually believed it. This is hilarious." Lacey looked down to her feet starting to feel a little uneasy about being inside their house and she decided to go back to the original topic about possibly staying here tonight and said "You know, if I'm just going to be a burden or be in the way, I guess I can just go home. I'll probably be fine." Leon said "No! I mean... You can stay, you're not a burden. Don't let Vince get to you. He's just naturally an asshole, he wasn't loved much as a child." Vince started condenscendingly laughing and said "He's right," then looked over to Leon and said "You know, you weren't either though, mommy issues." Leon said "If you wanna take a shower or something I can get you some clothes... And a towel and whatnot." Lacey said "Sure. Thanks." Vince said "The girl's supposed to wear your clothes after you fuck her."  Leon finally snapped and shoved Vince to the wall and tiny Jesse jumped into the middle of it as if he was actually going to keep them off of each other, but Leon backed down simply for the sake of maturity. Before Leon walked away he said "Go fuck yourself, Vince. I don't know what your deal is, but quit taking it out on me, and Lacey, and everybody else. We get it man, you have issues, so work on them, the world owes you nothing. Being a condenscending asshole isn't going to help anybody, and certainly not yourself." Vince said "I think you got it twisted. You're the one shoving me against walls because you can't take jokes simply because they're targeted at your jail bait girlfriend." Lacey pitched in and said "I'm eighteen, and he's not my boyfriend." Vince said "Whatever, princess." Vince continued to Leon and said "I just don't like outsiders." Leon said "Have you forgotten that I was an outsider once? Jesse too?" Vince didn't respond and Leon just walks away. Jesse attempting to be the peace maker walked over and sat down with Lacey and said "You know, my dad's in prison too. I know what it's like to have a parent on the inside." Lacey said "It seems like you actually like your father though, it might be a lot harder on you than it is for me." Jesse said "Yeah, I guess." Lacey asked "What's your dad in for?" Jesse said "Assault, drugs, racing, some other shit. He's got a lot of priors so they gave him a pretty hefty sentence this time." Lacey said "I'm sorry." Jesse said "It's cool, don't worry about it." Leon comes back into the room interrupting the conversation and said "I got the shower running for you now." Lacey gets up and walks with Leon upstairs while Vince rolls his eyes at the sight. Jesse turns to Vince and said "What's your deal against her?" Vince said "I have nothing against her personally. I just don't like outsiders, and there's something shady about her." Jesse said "You think there's something shady about everyone. You thought that about me too when I came along. Why don't you give her a chance? Besides, it's not like she knows anything about us. She's already told us more about her than she knows about us." Vince said "Yeah, and that makes her dumb. That means she has a big mouth, and clearly can't keep a secret. Meaning we can't trust her." Jesse said "No, it just makes her young, I made dumb mistakes like that too when I came around, remember?" Vince said "Yeah, whatever, I guess." Meanwhile, upstairs Leon is in the bathroom with Lacey and handing her clothes to put on. He handed her a plain t-shirt and some boxers, and as he was handing them to her he said "I promise, they're clean." Lacey chuckled a little bit and said "Thank you." Leon then grabbed a clean towel out of the cabinet in the bathroom and said "I'll be waiting in the kitchen for when you're done. Um, you can sleep on the couch up in my room if you'd like." Lacey just shook her head and Leon said "Alright... Well, I'll let you get to it." As Leon walks back downstiars he sees Mia, Letty, and Dom talking to Jesse and Vince, and he's assuming by the way they all looked at him as he entered the room, that they were already aware that Lacey was here. Dom said "Do you trust this girl?" Leon said "I mean.." Dom said "I'll take that as a no." Leon said "Relax, I haven't told her anything. She came to us because she was in trouble. She trusts us." Jesse said "I think she just trusts you." Vince said "Yeah, she hates me." Leon said "Gee Vince, I wonder why. You weren't exactly approachable." Vince looked over at Dom and said "Tell him she's got no business being up in here. We don't know her." Dom jokingly said "There was a time where I didn't know you." Vince said "That was in the third grade!" Dom chuckled and said "Well, Leon it's your call." Leon asked "Why does it have to be my call? And my call for what?" Dom said "Because you seem to be the only one in the house who really knows her, at least better than the rest of us, and it's your call if you think she can spend the night." Leon said "I trust her enough to sleep on my couch, yeah." Dom looked back over at Vince and said "It's settled. Why are you worried about a little girl anyway?" Jesse said "Hold up, she's eighteen, she's two years younger than me. Does that make me a little boy?" Dom said "Now, Jesse, we actually like you. But yeah." Dom and Vince started chuckling while Jesse flicks them off. A few moments later Lacey comes back downstairs, expecting to go straight to the kitchen and avoiding Jesse and Vince and is surprised to find the whole crew downstairs now awkwardly staring at her. Lacey doesn't say a word and looks very anxious. Dom said "Welcome. Make yourself at home." Leon walked up the steps and met her and lead her to the attic. Lacey looked around Leon's attic bedroom and asked "Why are you all the way up here?" Leon said "There's no rats, I promise. The room's been renovated." Lacey said "That wasn't my question." Leon just sighs and looks at her and said "I know. I just like... The privacy I guess." Lacey says "I don't blame you. Do you all live here?" Leon said "Yup. All six of us." Lacey asked "How?" Leon said "Well the house was a three bedroom, and Letty and Dom share a room, so that eliminates one person who needs a room. Mia has her own room. Vince has his, and mine and Jesse's rooms were add-ons. They turned an office room downstairs into Jesse's room." Lacey said "That's pretty cool. You're all like one big family." Leon kind of smirked and said "Yeah, I guess so." He handed her a pillow and blanket then grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around the couch and said "Well, here you go." Lacey just smiles at him and said "Goodnight." Leon smiles back and goes into his bathroom to change, came back out and laid down. As he laid down he thought a lot about Lacey. About how the girl next door is now only a few feet away. He can't seem to fall asleep so easily tonight. All he wants to do is hold her, but he knows that if he ever wants something like that from her, he's going to have to work his way very slowly. He really likes this girl, there was just something about her that made him look at her differently than all the other girls he's ever seen. Now knowing a little about her past he seems to find her even more intriguing. What she has revealed is enough to scare any normal person away, but Leon isn't normal, and he doesn't like rudimentary things or people. He has to gain trust in her though, that seems to be the only problem at the moment. Leon just hopes that when and if he begins to trust Lacey, his crew does too. Maybe she can even join the crew. Now he's just thinking too far ahead.

CHAPTER FIVE:

Leon finally wakes up, and looks over to the couch to find Lacey already sitting up staring out the window towards the street. Leon said in a graspy early morning voice "How long have you been up?" Lacey said "Since 6AM. I could barely sleep." Leon said "I'm sorry. It wasn't the couch, was it?" Lacey smrked and said "No, your couch is very comfy." Leon said in a questioning tone "Then it must be because you were scared?" Lacey just shook her head 'yes.' Leon said "Listen, I know Vince pretty much gave you a hard time, but if it ever came down to it, even he would protect you. In this house, you're safe." Something about that made Lacey feel uneasy and overwhelmed. Her own family hardly cares about her, so having a group of strangers care this much, is certainly immense and she didn't want to be subjected into a situation where she's in debt to them, and owes them one back. She liked Leon, but the harder she thought, she realized, she doesn't really know anything about him at all, and he can't be trusted too deeply. However, something about him was compelling. She had this vibe from him. A protecting kind of vibe. She truly did feel safe with him, and she didn't understand why that came so easily. It usually takes Lacey months, sometimes even years to trust someone. She can talk to someone for years, hang out with them on a daily basis, and still not fully trust them, so that was also overwhelming her. Vince came up into the room and shouted up the stairs "Alright stop sucking his dick, I'm coming up." Leon rolled his eyes, and Vince completely ignored the fact that Lacey was on the couch and walked over to Leon for their usual morning smoke sesh. Leon said "I'm not feeling it today." Vince then looked at Lacey as if it was her fault he didn't feel like smoking this morning. Vince said "You gotta drive her to school or something?" Lacey said "It's Saturday." Vince said "I wasn't talking to you." Lacey just stood up and started to leave. Leon ran after her. He caught her at the bottom of the stairs. He said "Lacey, ignore him." Lacey said "I have been, I just feel like a burden. I didn't mean to impose." Vince said "Look, alright, I'm sorry." Leon was actually shocked by this that he looked at Vince with disbelief and then back at Lacey and said "He never says that." Lacey said "So?" Leon said "He must really mean it." Vince met them at the bottom of the stairs and said "Look kid, you obviously went through some shit yesterday." Vince mocked Leon "And Lover Boy over here said "If you ever need anything come to me." I get it. You were scared. You're alone. I'm sorry. You just gotta understand that you're in someone else's house, and you don't know shit about any of us, not even Leon to be trusting us like this, so that makes me even more put off towards you." Lacey said "I don't know what to say. It was either trust you guys, or.... Stay alone all night." About twenty or so minutes later, Leon walks Lacey to the kitchen. He was going to make her breakfast, come to find out that Mia already made everyone breakfast. They all sat at the table in silence. Dom finally said "So Lacey. Vince told me what you said last night. He went over the story with me." Leon sighed and Lacey said "Okay...." Dom said "Lets g over the details again. Someone, a guy, knew your name, you've never seen him before. He brutally beats you, leaves you in an alley, doesn't rape you, or take your money. Your uncle just so happens to be seemingly important in the criminal world. You see how one might put two and two together right?" Lacey nodded her head yes. Dom said "You seem like a good kid, but it also seems like you would bring a lot of trouble into our lives." Lacey asked "Are you asking me to leave?" Dom said "That sounds too harsh." Leon said "This is bullshit. You didn't know shit about me or Jesse but you gave us a chance." Dom said "It's pretty obvious Leon that you have a thing for this girl." Lacey started to feel awkward. Leon said "Can you guys just shut the fuck up. I mean really..... I helped her. I told her if she ever needed help, that I would help her. She  came to me with a busted lip, busted nose, and swollen eye. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Turn her away?" Dom stayed silent and Lacey stood up and said "Thank you Leon, but um, I wanna go home" She looked at the rest of the table and said "I'm sorry." Leon knew that this time he had to let her walk away. She truly didn't want to be here anymore, and he doesn't blame her. After he heard the front door open and then shut, he looked at everyone and said "What the fuck is wrong with you guys? She's clearly in fucking trouble." Letty said "Just because you have a little crush doesn't mean her trouble has to be ours." Jesse said "Did my trouble have to be yours too? My situation is the exact same circumstance. I came running to you, except she at least prior knowledge we existed. I didn't know who the fuck you were. I was in trouble, and you fucking helped me." Leon said "I was homeless, and you gave me a home. Yet some girl is too much for you to handle? This has nothing to do with the way I feel about her. Yeah, I think she's fucking beautiful, and yes I know I don't know her, but she's in fucking trouble, and if you don't want her here, that's fine. But I'm going over there then. If anything happens to her, I don't want that on my hands."

[makadelikz]

the heist at cedar hill 3/19/2018

The Heist at Cedar Hill

CHAPTER ONE: Fall semester began and I was as stressed as ever, mostly because unlike everyone else at this boarding school, I'm not rich. I don't have parents with fancy cars, and substantial bank accounts. I actually don't have parents at all-- well, anymore. I never met my father; shocker, right? My mother was a junkie prostitute who overdosed on heroin when I was eleven years old. I've been an orphan ever since and in and out of group home programs. The program offered a scholarship to the person with the best school performance and since I'm not very sociable, because I find it extremely hard to trust anyone to socialize with them in the first place, I had nothing better to do anyway. So, I studied all day, every day. I ranked one of the highest GPA's not only in my entire school, but out of everyone in my group home program. As a result I obviously won that scholarship. I was really only happy about it because you get to live on campus, so there's guaranteed housing, and no fighting over a bed every night.  Also, nobody knows you're an orphan unless you tell them because we're all wearing the same uniforms. In my old school there was no uniforms so my raggedy clothes was a dead giveaway. People would always ask me why I was even in school, because I would end up holding a sign on the side of the road eventually. Boarding school seemed like a million dollar deal, but I shouldn't have been so naive. All high schools are the same and ones infested with rich white kids is even worse. No diversity. The kids here know I'm only here because of a scholarship, which is a "bad" thing at this school, which is not something I would've guessed. Forget actually being smart enough to receive the scholarship, that didn't matter to them. Receiving a scholarship just meant you were unable to actually afford to go to the school without a handout. So, they may not know I'm an orphan but they still know that I'm poor and don't have shit to show for in my life. I can't catch a break anywhere. This scholarship also means that I cannot slack off even a little bit because then I'll get kicked out and since I'm obviously unable to pay for this place out of pocket I'll be back to having nothing and being worthless... Even though I still kinda am.

CHAPTER TWO:

I wouldn't say that I'm a bad kid but I would consider myself somewhat of a rebellion, I've had my fair share in illegal activities. Being an orphan means no one really takes care of you. At least not in the sense an actual, functioning, loving family would. Nobody has your back, you have to fend for youself by any means and at any cost, even in the group home itself. The group home was more like a juvenile prison. You would think being in relatively the same situation in life, that we would all be somewhat nicer to each other or at least be more understanding. That's fairytale thinking though. Most of the orphans my age don't come from a great place, such as myself. I was exposed to a shitty life, and a lot of other things children shouldn't be exposed to. So it's safe to say I found myself living by quite a few of the street rules, even at such a young age, even before the group home. After my mom would shoot up and pass out in the living room, I would leave the house and walk the streets for hours just looking for something to steal, because it was just something to do. I was around seven when I first started venturing to that area of my life. Being kidnapped wasn't even on my mind, I probably didn't even care if I had been taken or killed. That's probably the sad part of it all. I'm definitely out of my element here at Cedar Hill I've never been exposed to people who were handed every little thing in life without having to work for it. These rich kids are so dull. They're all the same, they literally all act the same, have the same attitudes and personality-- well, every thing. None of them have any creative thought. It's like they're all robots with a rich kid programming. It also seems that they literally never study but always have perfect grades. It's like they pay the school off and their only purpose here is to socialize and form a rich kid army. I, on the other hand, care about my academics. Well, mostly because I have to, and it's all I have. The more I think about it though, the more I see the irony. What's the point? I'll make good grades, get into a great college, start the process all over again to graduate and get a good paying job, make good money, and pop out kids who were born into a wealthy family. The thought of raising kids like these fucks gave me an unsettling feeling in my gut. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total downer. I have made a few friends here, and I actually put forth the effort to maintain the friendship as much as I possibly could. You have to understand how hard that is for me, in order to see how big of a deal that is. Even when I'm distant with them, which I am most of time, the fact that I even still come around is an improvement. The friends I've made surprisingly got into the school because of similar scholarships as mine, but believe me, that wasn't intentional. I'm not anti-rich either, it's just none of them have proven me wrong yet. They are all stuck-up pretentious snobs. They are completely oblivious to any form of struggle in the world whatsoever. I suppose I can be envious of their lifestyle at times, having so much money that you don't care about anything seems like only a dream to me. However, I'm kind of happy I struggle. It adds character, unlike the seemingly indoctrinized crowds of money signs in form of high school cliques all over the school. The dorms are even worse, and my roommate Ashley thinks we're friends even though I try to make it evident that we are not. I feel like she's trying really hard to be my friend though to manipulate me. It's already happened once so far, but I caught on quickly though. However, she isn't much of a bother considering she's always sneaking over to the boy's dorms to spend the nights with her boyfriend. It gives me time alone to read and write. Which is the only thing that's private in group homes. I learned the hard to way to only tell my journal my thoughts. Nobody actually cares. They just want dirt on you to eventually use it against you whether it's in means of blackmail or exploitation. I use to always believe strength came in numbers but I quickly learned that standing behind a crowd of followers makes you a weak coward. Being a lonewolf is true strength, because there's no relying on the pack for help. It's just you and your strength. So, yes I've made "friends" here, but I still keep my distance as a defense mechanism. Back home, I would refer to the "friends" I've made as connections. I don't have friends, but I have people I could use for something at one time or another, whether it be a connection that person has to someone else, for something I may need. I'm a lonewolf, but it's still okay to have associations because people know people, and those people know people. Being a lonewolf with no allys is a lost one. So I guess it's safe to say you probably can't do everything on your own, but at least I'm not ashamed to admit that.

CHAPTER THREE:

I don't have time to shower this morning because Ashley took the longest fucking shower ever and then she has the audacity to walk out of the bathroom with her hair not even wet. What the hell was she doing in there for almost an hour? Normally this isn't an issue because she stays with her boyfriend but she pounded on the door last night at 3AM because she forgot her key. Again. I get dressed and head out twenty minutes before breakfast. I know that Ashley will spend all of that time doing her hair makeup, if not longer, and she'll be over-sharing personal details of her life I don't care to hear so I don't like sticking around her for very long. Plus, I like to spend these minutes walking along the lakeside of campus and watch the sun peak over the horizon and watch the dark black and blue sky be overwhelmed by the pink and orange dawn. I also like to get a head start on the breakfast line because, lets face it, I don't want to be in there for very long and overhear things such as "Daddy bought me a new Mercedes!!" Also, growing up in a group home with a tremendous amounts of kids meant if you were last you were unfortunate enough to get the scraps or sometimes, nothing at all. It's kind of an embedded behavior of mine to be in front of food lines now. Another life lesson learned the hard way. I meet up with my friend Chandler who definitely doesn't fit in with this school simply by her appearance alone, but when you get to know her you know she definitely doesn't belong here. I like that about her though. I look like I belong here by my basic aesthetics, but not by choice. Chandler has long strawberry blonde hair. She used to have blue highlights at the bottom, but the school made her cut her hair, because the dye went against the strict uniform policy. I've never been to a school that had the power to force kids to cut their hair. Seems weird that they would go that far, but then not care about her piercings. She has a nose piercing and a Monroe piercing. She also told me once that her nipples were pierced as well. I used to have my nose pierced but I got into a fight once and it was ripped out. Never pierced it again. Chandler is a really cool person and has a pretty dark past that she doesn't like to be descriptive about, and I don't blame her or ask. None of my business anyway, and although she's a friend I wouldn't be so open about my past experiences either so I actually like that she isn't eager to tell her story because then she'd probably expect me to do the same in return. The only annoying thing about Chandler is that she's always trying to hook me up with someone. She always says "Who cares if they're a douche and might use you? Who says you can't be selfish too? Girls have needs as well." I guess she's doing it as a nice gesture, I haven't really figured out why she cares so much. However, I don't really care to stoop to that level. Not that I'm against, or think anything is wrong with casual sex. I just don't personally find interest in it. I've had boyfriends in the past and if I'm going to have sex with someone it'll probably have to be another boyfriend, and nobody at this school is worth a shot even for a one night stand, in my opinion. The boys (and girls) at this school just flash their money around and expect people to be mesmerized and drop their pants in a snap of a finger. I suppose there's people who would, but not me. I've never had money anyway so there's no difference in my life at all just because you do. They're going to have to try harder than that but like I said people at this school have no personality.

CHAPTER FOUR:

I walk into breakfast early and are one of the first few to leave. That's how I like it. Whenever I'm going to the bathroom in the middle of class I always see the "cool" kids just walking around as if that's all they do. They're sometimes just standing there chatting away like there's no care in the world, how do they not get caught by teachers? How do they sit there and not even worry about that possibility? Instead they're always roaming the halls with friends or to meet up with friends. They have a purpose in these hallways, but not me. I'm usually always alone which is not the problem, but walking in these halls stands no purpose for me other than fake bathroom breaks. I walk through the halls with my head down. I like to avoid eye contact and fake smiles, but sometimes I wish things were different. I wish that there was a purpose for me in these hallways. I wish I could walk confidently with my head held high on my way to meet up with someone and do something fun or just gossip with them. I know what you're thinking; who the hell cares!? Also, you're thinking, isn't Chandler your friend? Chandler is a good friend, yes, but she has other friends. She's my friend, but I'm not her only one and sometimes I have a feeling that I'm not her first choice either. I mean she's never texted me to meet up with her in the hallways to get a fifteen minute break from class. Sometimes I break down with emotions like this because I remember where I came from and I remember that I'm probably not going anywhere, so then every little thing just sets me off sometimes. I like to sneak up onto the roof of the library sometimes to clear my head and rid myself of these emotions but there's too much commotion in there today with the book fair going on and if I get caught, well, I won't have a rich mommy or daddy to talk my way out of trouble.

CHAPTER FIVE:

Today my science teacher decided to be lazy and just put on some video documenting marine life and make us take notes. He actually does this often, and says the notes are useful because he's going to have a pop quiz on the subject. He never does though because that means he'll have to actually grade them and something tells me he doesn't want to. I ask the teacher for a bathroom break just to get out of class for awhile. I walk out of class with my usual head down stance, but as soon as I turn the corner I run into the janitor knocking some things off his cart. He starts to pick some things up and I picked up a cracked bottle of Windex that is now leaking all over the place while I plead my apologies. He said "Don't worry about it. It's fine." I grab a roll of paper towels from his cart and start to soak up the Windex and he kneels down and said "No, really it's okay. You don't have to." I glaced at him and slightly smiled. He smiled back. Since I'm no longer filled with as much anxiety I realized the janitor is actually really hot and really young looking with a tattoo on his upper arm. I asked "How old are you?" He smiled again but before he could respond a teacher overheard the commotion comes out of a classroom and asks "Is every thing alright?" The janitor said "Everything's fine, sir. She was just telling me about a mess in one of the hallways." The teacher doesn't respond back to him, looks at me and says "Get back to class." I start to walk off but turn around to look at the janitor one more time and he smiled again. I didn't think he would watch me walk away, so the eye contact was a little awkward but that smile made it worth it. Never in a million years would I have expected to see a cute janitor, and out of all the boys in the school, the one I find attractive is the janitor? Are you kidding me?

CHAPTER SIX:

[makadelikz]

the fast life 03/19/2018

The Fast Life Dear Diary…. I’m only fifteen years old and I know way more about the ‘street life’ than I should. I was raised into it so I had no choice, it’s all I know. I’ve tried to blend in with the normal girls my age at my school, but it never works. I’m sure it’s mostly because there’s no common interest. I pretty much like to sit back and watch things unfold. I observe the masses and pretty much do the opposite. I’m very observant, but because of that I’m very quiet, and being the quiet kid with no friends in high school instantly makes you the loser. I didn’t mind the name calling, and I didn’t mind having no friends because I had a family. Well, the closest thing to a family I’ve ever known. The only blood I know is my older brother, he’s hard-headed, short-tempered, but he guided me and taught me everything I know. I’m still very ignorant when it comes to ‘that life’ but that’s because my older brother doesn’t really want this life for me so he only teaches me how to be observant and catch people in lies, and ironically how to be a good liar. He always says “it will come in handy for any and every situation.“ He wants me to be something successful and earn an honest living like a doctor or lawyer or something, but he and I both know that’s just wishful thinking. He always tells me "You’re too smart to go down my road.” It kind of makes me feel like shit sometimes because the guy who doesn’t really give a fuck about anything gives a fuck about me and I feel like I let him down a lot. I’m starting to think I’m literally the only thing he does care about, besides our “family.” My biological parents were the definition of dead beat. I would like to blame everything on them, but that’s just stupid. They play a role in every major mental scar I have, but other than that, it’s not really their fault my brother and I ended up this way. We could’ve bettered ourselves, we had the potential. In fact, we all had the potential, we just chose the easy way of life, but the easy way of life comes with the hardest consequences that are sometimes too hard to bear.

CHAPTER ONE:

Who am I kidding? Why am I even trying to write in a diary right now? I think that was the girliest thing I’ve ever done. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, but it’s easier to explain everything going on in my mind on paper, and of course there’s really no one else I can talk to anyway. I’m at a very stressful age, and the life I’ve been raised in doesn’t make the stress much easier. I’m only fifteen so my family pretty much sugar coats everything. I know that they’re up to nothing legal, that’s pretty obvious, but of course I’m spared the details. There’s Dominic, who is the alpha wolf, the pack leader. Whatever you want to call it. He calls the shots, and the rest follow. He’s praised in the streets, from Echo Park to Northern Cali, people know his name. Then there’s Dom’s sister Mia, she’s seemingly innocent but she’s played a hand in everything also, only because she’s loyal to family. She doesn’t necessarily agree with what her brother does for the most part, but if any cop or anyone outside the family starts asking questions she’s down to lie and create a false alibi. Then there’s Letty, the bad ass tomboy that any girl (or guy even) would be foolish to mess with. She’s Dom’s girlfriend, always by his side when they go on “runs.” Vince is my older brother. He’s ten years older than me so he basically raised me. Vince and Dom met in the third grade, they’ve been lifelong friends and Vince is loyal to him. Vince is very stubborn though and often loses his temper very quickly. He is known as the short fuse to everyone who’s ever met him. The only people he gives a damn about is us, everyone else he just looks at as if they were garbage. When it comes to family however, Vince is very caring. He has a difficult way of showing it sometimes, but he would take a bullet for any one of us. He’s also had a crush on Mia since high school so he really hates outsiders who hit on her, even though Mia makes it pretty clear that she would never date one of her brother’s friends. Vince respects that, but that doesn’t change his feelings for her. It’s sometimes painful to watch. Jesse is the sweetest person out of all of us. He’s down with 'that life’ but if you didn’t know that you would never assume that, although he’s still pretty ignorant about the street rules in most cases as well. He knows his way around an engiene and has his knack of computer hacking, so that was basically his promised initiation. Jesse joined the 'fam’ when I was ten years old and he has been here since. Then there’s Leon, there’s so much I could say about him but I’ll spare the mushy details. He joined the crew two years ago when he was eighteen years old. He’s a drifter. He traveled from place to place stayed for a few months then left. He had no real friends or family before us. I don’t know what made him stay but I’m glad he did. He and I don’t really have the closest relationship which is odd since we all live in the same house. I mean we talk and everything, but only in group dicussions, we never had a genuine personal conversation. But why would we? Why would he want to hang out with a fifteen year old girl, who doesn’t really have anything intresting to talk about anyway? I don’t even know his favorite color. It’s not that he doesn’t talk much, he just doesn’t like to talk about personal things. Took us all about a year to figure out his birthday when Dom made a comment about how we celebrated everyone else’s birthday that year except for his. He didn’t tell us his birthday because he said he’s used to people not knowing or giving a fuck. He’s never had a real birthday party. Took us six months after that to figure out where he was even initially from before he began drifting. Every time we have talked though he seemed like a very nice guy, and Dom obviously trusts him and likes him otherwise he wouldn’t have been around this long. Same vice versa.  My brother and Leon have grown very close. Vince is Dom’s right hand man, but Leon is Vince’s. Funny how that works. Oh yeah, and then there’s… Me. There’s really nothing more about me that I could say. I’m kind of… Just there. No one really asks me for things, no one really talks to me about things. I mean it’s not like I put any effort into talking to them either but my mentality plays a major role in that. I always think to myself “well if they cared they would ask” and I always just assume no one cares because no one asks and I leave it at that. I keep to myself though for the most part so I don’t really mind. I know what people outside our family think about us because I hear it in school and on the streets. There’s people who think Dom is the coolest, and they want to be just like him, winning every race, and having that major street cred. Then there’s the naysayers who call us dysfunctional, and deliquents. Honestly, can you blame them? It's not too often that random LAPD squad cars just patrolling the neighborhood can call you out by first and last name. To me though, despite how distant I feel from them half of the time, this is my family and I love them. They’re all I have, and they’re the only people I would ever trust. I would stand up for them even if I didn’t know exactly what I was defending, which is the case most of the time. I know they race, which is pretty evident because of their cars. That’s about the only thing they talk about, but even racing isn't talked about in so many explicit details. They attend Race Wars every month, which was actually an event created by Dom. I’m guessing that’s why he’s so popular on the streets. He practically controls the underground racing world in all of LA. Anyways, the only time I don’t feel distant from them is on Sunday's. Yes, we're a very odd bunch to outsiders. Dom is very adament on family and he carries the traits of his father, who I actually used to call grandpa when I was younger. Every Sunday after church Dom’s father would have a BBQ for everyone in the neighborhood, only if they went to church though, but Dom's father being the way he was he wouldn't let people go hungry and whether they went to church or not they had a plate. Dom’s father looked out for me and Vince as much as he could.  So now every Sunday, we have Sunday Dinner. The rest of the world, and the rest of our problems, even if they’re with each other do not matter on Sunday evenings. We will all sit, say grace, and eat food. Kind of funny how things like that work, to everyone else we’re dysfunctional deliquents, but to us, we’re family and this is just our life.

CHAPTER TWO:

After school I help Mia out at the cafe. It’s family owned, of course. Dom inherited it from his father, he also inherited “Toretto’s Auto Repair.” By day the boys-- and Letty, are working in the garage, and Mia and I run the cafe. Very good fronts too. It makes us look as if all the money we earn is from an honest living. The others will stop by after they close the garage or when they’re on lunch. Honestly, it’s the only part of the day I look forward to. Mostly because I get to see Leon. Just see him though, we never do much talking. I find my obvious attraction to him pretty awkward though. I mean we hardly know each other on a personal level. That and he’s four years older than me, but he acts way older than nineteen (almost twenty) sometimes I actually forget that he is really only four years older than me. I'm sure to him I’m just Vince’s little sister. Well, that’s pretty much what I am to anyone. I'm pretty nameless, but like I said, everyone knows Dom, so everyone knows Dom’s crew as well. Since Vince is Dom’s right hand man, it’s pretty much a sacred rule not to fuck with him either. So just being Vince’s little sister has pretty much prevented every fight I’ve almost been in at school. Nobody wants that kind of trouble. Not that I think my brother would actually harm a teenage girl (or boy) for harming me, but I’ll let them think it if it saves my ass. “Hey Lacey, can you do me a favor and stock the shelf over there with more chips?” Mia interrupts my daydreams. I don’t have a problem with doing it at all, but being in my head is the best place I know. Being snapped out of it to do something such as stock a stupid shelf is pretty annoying. I would never take it out on her though. Mia is the person I’m probably the closest with at least as of recently. I mean there’s my brother, but some of the things Mia and I have talked about since I began helping out here are things I could literally never talk about with my brother. Mostly because it’s been girly things, but our talks really haven’t been genuine anyway because I keep a lot of shit to myself and half of the shit I've admitted had kind of been forced. Conversations like this aren't my cup of tea but Mia likes to gossip, and there really isn't anything exciting happening in her life lately so she has to pry at mine. The thought of even talking about half of this girly stuff with Mia, let alone Vince, is kind of fucking awkward. Not that my life is really all that exciting either. I remember being little though and walking around the Toretto house in Mia’s shoes that definitely were too substantial for me. I’ve practically lived here before I actually did live here. Mia would braid my hair and tell me stories, paint my nails, you know, girly shit. I admired her. I wanted to be just like her when I got older, but now, I don’t even want to be myself half of the time. Ironically, I still wouldn’t trade this life for anything though simply because these people are priceless. No amount of anything could ever replace any of them. As I’m stocking the shelf, I hear a too familiar sound. The sound of street racing cars, but only the finest for Toretto’s crew. One by one they enter the cafe greeting Mia. I thought to myself “Am I really this fucking invisible to everybody?” But then out of nowhere, the unexpected happened, Leon fucking said hi to me and asked me for a bag a chips from the box and told me not to tell Mia, even though Mia already knows, especially since she looked right over at him and gave him 'the stare.’ She just hates re-doing the inventory and everyone knows that. “What kind do you want?” There were only two different kinds to choose from that were left in the box, and he gets Frito's every time, but I wanted to cling on to the conversation for as long as I possibly could. “Uh, I think I’m gonna go with the Frito’s today.” I handed him the chips and he walked off. Best twenty seconds of the day. I know this sounds fucking pathetic, but I’m only a fifteen year old girl who never had a real relationship exactly and this is my first real die-hard crush on a guy, so what do you expect? My brother walks over to me shortly afterward, I already knew his favorite kind of chips, he gets the same kind every day just like Leon but I don't really care to hold a conversation with Vince. Especially these days, he's gotten angrier over the years. Not towards any of us, but towards life in general. I handed him the bag and he said “Thanks Lacey, but that’s not the only reason I came over here. I got you something.” He pulls something out of his pocket and it’s a jewelry box with a necklace inside. “I remember you telling me you wanted this necklace so I ordered it online and had it shipped to the garage.” I was shocked because I wasn’t expecting this, but also because I never thought he would even remember that I fucking said that. I just brought up the necklace to break awkward silence in the car ride home when he picked me up from school about a month ago. I hugged him so tightly, and it was the most genuine hug we’ve shared in quite awhile. I don’t know what made him have such a good mood today, but I am thankful for whatever it was because Vince hasn’t been like this for a few months. I was starting to think that he didn’t have an ounce of compassion left in him. I was starting to think none of them had any compassion left in them. Sunday dinners were getting quieter and quieter. I put the necklace on. It was a shiny gold lock-it, I’m surprised Vince remembered that I prefer gold over silver. It's little details like that about me I'm pretty much certain nobody notices. The state of contentment quickly faded when I realized that, there’s really no one or anything special that comes to mind that would even be inside this necklace. I mean, of course there is my family, but that’s cliche and just a given because they’re really all I know and there’s two sides. Who or what would go on the other side? The satisfaction faded even faster when I remembered how expensive this necklace was, and I knew there was no way Vince could afford something like this and still have tons of money leftover by just doing brake checks, and tune ups for $8.50 an hour. Even the overall family money earned from just the garage and the cafe wouldn’t be enough to just blow money everyday, especially with bills for the house, garage, and cafe combined. Plus, there’s a least ten-thousand dollars under the hood of each of their cars, and that's just under the hood and not the entirety of the car itself. It’s pretty obvious that they have a source of income from something else as well. I always just kept my mouth shut though, because it wasn’t really important to me at the time, nor was it my business.

CHAPTER THREE:

The unwanted sound of my alarm clock woke me up. Time for school! Only the enthusiasm part of that is nothing but sarcastic. I had to wake up even earlier than necessary just to have enough time to convince myself to even go, that and to get ready. I do my hair, makeup, teeth brushed, all the usual shit. The worst part was the stupid uniform. Plaid skirt, stupid tie, stupid vest, stupid buttoned up white collared shirt, stupid knee high socks, and stupid shoes. Oh and if we didn’t want to wear the vest we had to wear the shirt with the school logo on it, or the jacket. Having half of my closet filled with identical clothing irritated me so much. Reminded me of a cartoon character and how in every episode they would be in the same exact outfit. The only thing about the outfit that can be modified was the shoes, as long as they were all black and your toes weren't showing. I think what I hated about all this the most was that I fell into a routine, as if I was living the same day over and over again, and it didn’t help that five days out of the week, I had to wear identical clothing as the previous day. I lust after adventure and spontaneous desicions. How adventurous is a routined life? It sounds like I’m complaining, I know. Most people in this world have this exact description for their life. The nine to five grind. I don’t want that though, and I know damn well that we don’t have that, I just want to be apart of whatever it is that they do. Imagine how great it feels to live like you're rich without having to work for it? I suppose I should feel bad, but I don't. This is just my life, and what I know. It's as normal to me as yoga classes to a surburban white mother in the Valley. Today at school they’re handing out progress reports during every English or reading class. A progress report pretty much shows you what your grade in every class is, and tells you that you have a couple weeks to improve or maintain your grade before report cards are finalized and mailed out to your homes. I knew I was going to have a horrible grade in math, and some pretty bad grades in other classes too, but none that would fail me. It wasn’t that I didn’t get the material, except for Algebra, that class is literally gibberish to me, but for the rest of my classes it’s just that I didn’t care. I had no motivation whatsoever to even pretend to care, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed. I’ve been called to talk one-on-one with every single teacher I have, nearly every day, and that isn’t an exaggeration. Today, my history teacher pulled me aside after class and said “Lacey, I’m sure you know what we’re going to talk about.” I said “I know, it’s my grade. You gave me a D.” He said “I didn’t gve you anything less than what you deserved. I don’t understand Lacey, you get the material. Everything you have turned in has practically a perfect grade every time. The problem is getting you to turn in every assignment. The ones you do turn in aren’t even on time, which takes points off, which brings your grade down even more. You’re smart, you really are, but you concern me, last year you were impeccable, and I even considered putting you in my honors class, but this year you’ve let me down.” I almost felt like shit, but Mr. Klarkson isn’t anyone special to me. However, his lecture definitely didn’t settle right in my head, especially when he said he’s going to have to contact a “parent” for a conference. I screamed internally. I said “Please don’t! I’ll change my attitude around, I promise.” It’s not that I was scared, but it’s just hard explaining to teachers why my brother is listed as my Guardian, and why my parents are basically non-existing. Also, Vince would not be happy about coming down to the school, simply because he hates explaining why he is my Guardian as well. He feels like it’s really no one’s business. Ultimately, it’s because the school raises red flags for students who don’t live in what society deems as a normal, funcational household. There would literally be a little red flag symbol next to my name in the school’s system to signify that I’m what they call an “at risk youth” simply because I don’t live in a traditional household. So basically, every teacher and school counselor will poke their noses where it doesn’t belong and begin to ask a lot of invasive questions that they don’t need to be asking. This is why I switched schools, because I was flagged at my old school as an “at risk youth” and the school guidance counselor didn’t “believe me” when I said my home life is absolutely fine, so she sent The Department of Children and Families to my house with a social worker who wanted to place me in foster group home. Surprisingly, Vince won the trial by having a fantasic lawyer who’s name was Saul, I believe, who actually came all the way from New Mexico. Apparently Leon knew him and hooked Vince up, and they convinced the jury that simply living in a house that doesn’t have a mother or father doesn’t mean it’s dysfunctional, and that I still get all the love and care a child needs. Anyways, Mr. Klarkson sighed really long and hard, but he said “Lacey you have three weeks to prove your statement true, but I will make sure I talk to all of your teachers as well and make sure you’re improving in every class, not just mine.” I literally wasn’t expecting this answer, but thank you Mr. Klarkson, partly genuine, partly sarcastic. Why did he have to continue with "but I’m going to talk to all of your teachers as well?” I went straight home after school because Mia texted me and told me there wasn’t much to help out with at the cafe for today. I sat down on the couch, and basically mimicked my teacher’s sigh.  I thought to myself “How in the hell am I going to improve in math? The rest will be easy, but math!? Why did Mr. Klarkson say he would talk to all of my teachers? Why can’t he just worry about HIS class?!?!“ I pulled out my Algebra textbook and sat at the coffee table and almost wanted to cry because I could feel my brain pulsating into a migraine by trying to force myself to understand something that appears as hieroglyphics to my eyes. It’s literally a foreign language to me. It’s easily compared to the cashier who always tries to talk to me in Spanish at the Latin Market down the street. Can’t he tell I don’t fucking understand? The only reason I go in there is because Mexican soda is to die for. Leon walks out of the kitchen and it startled me inside because I didn’t think anyone was home. He said "I heard you sighing in the kitchen. You sound pretty stressed. You okay?” I literally stared at him for half a second before responding. I said “Umm, yeah…. (sighs) No.. I don’t fucking get this shit.” He giggled. I looked up at him to read his body language to see if he was being playful, or being a dick. I could tell by his smile he was being playful, but I wasn’t in the mood, yes not even for Leon. I said “What’s so funny?” He said “Relax, I’m just playin’.  You know I could help you if you want? Algebra and History are the only two subjects I was ever actually good in. Failed the rest. Well, I failed the rest just because I never wanted to do the work, and I never went to school, but I understood it to an extent.” I looked up in shock not only because he offered to help me, which means one-on-one time with Leon, which I’ve been practically dreaming about, but because he said he’s excellent at algebra. I guess I thought longer than I needed to with my response because then he said “Well……?” I said “That would be amazing. I need to learn this in three weeks.” He said “I could teach you this shit in a day.” He sat down on the floor next to me, I could literally hear him breathe he was so close, but I didn’t mind. He said “So where are we starting?” I just looked up and smiled. Involuntary I guess, but I just couldn’t contain the excitement I felt.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The tutoring has been going on for a month now. I’m not using him just to keep him around though, I have actually learned algebra, but each new chapter is still confusing, but less confusing thanks to Leon. My grades did improve, and Mr. Klarkson never called my brother to arrange a conference. It has been pleasent having Leon around me every day after school though. I started asking for help in almost every subject just to keep him around longer. Okay, I confessed. I am looking for excuses to keep him around longer, and the bonus is the grades I’m getting. I know that it seems like I was using him just because I had a little crush on him, but honestly I knew that the crush was never going to go anywhere anyway, and it’s certainly not like he’ll ever know, because that means I would have to tell him. He’s also way older and more mature than me. I genuinely just kept him around because I liked the company, I liked feeling like I had a “friend.” He didn’t even mind tutoring me, It’s like he looked forward to it. I know I certainly did.   Today we were in the middle of our tutoring session, and I was literally too deep in trying to figure out the answer to a problem that for a split second I forgot Leon was actually right there analyzing my work. He asked me a question, which made me completely lose track of what I was doing within this multi-step equation. I didn’t mind though because the question made me feel very worhty, and pleasent for a short second, but then I remembered the reality behind the answer to that question. It was such a simple question, but a question that had a very broad choices for answers, and the question was one that nobody has asked me for a few years now. The question was: “How are you feeling?” I know it was probably in refrence to the tutoring because we’ve actually studied longer than usual today, but that question alone has an endless list for me. I could go on and on about how I’m feeling Leon, do you really want to go there? I didn’t actually ask him that though. To be honest I’m pretty good at coming up with bullshit answers to avoid confrontation right on the spot, but today, right now, I couldn’t. I just blankly stared at him and then looked down and said “I don’t know.” He said “Hey, are you alright? Is there something you wanna tallk about?” In my head I’m screaming isn’t that obvious? But I just look back at him trying to contain my emotions and said “no,” as in there’s nothing I want to talk about, but my voice fucking cracked! Of course it did. Now he knows I’m lying, and now he’s going to poke at this until he gets a straight answer, but contrary to my belief he just looked at me and said “I know that’s a lie, but I’m not going to make you talk about something you don’t want to talk about, but just know that you’re not alone, and I will literally sit with you for hours and hours and talk with you about anything you need to talk about at any time of the day.” I saw genuine compassion for the first time in his bright green eyes, and it was for me. A fucking tear came down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away and pretended like that didn’t just happen, I didn’t even feel like I was on the verge of tears, thank you body for signaling me like you’re supposed to! He obviously saw it though. I know he did, he just sympathetically touched my shoulder and closed my text book and said “we can be done for today,” and he softly smiled and walked away. I literally went straight to my room, and threw my face into the pillow and lost myself. I cried for hours. Why was I being so emotional? Oh, because that was first time in such a long time that anyone in the house actually cared about what was on my mind, and how I was feeling. Call me a drama queen, I don't fucking care.  I’ve prepared for this moment for awhile. What I would say. I would be straight-forward and tell them that I hate being excluded and that I’m not an idiot, but why couldn’t I do that today? I literally thought I could write a dissertation about how I feel, but when it came down to it I choked up. I’m a fucking mess. Now, I know I'm probably overreacting just a tad, but coming from feeling like you're all alone in the world to instantly seeing someone that you actually fancy show concern for you, is pretty overwhelming. Later that night while eating dinner at the dining room table everyone was quiet for the most part, but that was beginning to become a usual thing. Oddly enough Leon is the one who starts conversation. He’s been a lot more chatty lately. It feels almost as if that he’s finally genuinely content with us, and being around us. As I mentioned before, Leon was a drifter. He didn’t stay in places for a long time. This has been the longest he’s stayed anywhere since the moment he began drifting. Kind of pleasing to know that Leon feels like he has a place to refer to as home and that it's with us. Out of all people Leon could talk to though, he initiated conversation with me. You would think this is something I would want, and a few weeks ago it’s something I literally would hope for, but after what happened earlier today this is not something I want right now at all. All the attention will be on me, which is also something I’ve been hoping for, but now that I got it the feeling is a bit too uneasy for me. I guess the saying be careful what you wish for really fits this situation. I guess living life in the shadows wasn't too bad, because at least then I didn't have panic attacks and anxiety of the overwhelming feeling of everyone's eyes on me waiting for words to spill off my tongue. Sometimes in similar situations I even stutter a tad because I get nervous as if I'm speaking in front of a crowd of hundreds of people. “So, Lacey…. You really never talk during dinner. Why is that?” Leon asked. It’s almost as if he’s testing me, and it’s kind of irritating. I said “Well, no one ever really talks to me.” He said, “Well lets all play would you rather” I gave him such a puzzled expression. Usually I can read people like a book, I can predict literally almost every move or motive from a person, but Leon is a different story. A book that’s in a different language. This is definitely not something I was expecting, even Vince laughed at his request but Jesse said he’s down to do it, and Mia said “That sounds like fun, we haven’t had a family game night in ages.” Vince continued to laugh and said “…Alright…” in a tone as if he wasn’t really into it but he didn’t want to be the only one not playing. Leon looked directly at me and it was as if he smiling through his eyes. I don’t know if I’m infuriated or bewildered. Did he do this to piss me off? It certainly feels like it but at the same time, Leon never striked me as the kind of person who would actually do that intetionally. Especially not after today when he seemed so compassionate towards me. What is he doing exactly? The vibe didn't feel awkward but at the same time it didn't feel authentic either. A few hours after dinner Vince, Dom and Letty left. They of course didn’t say where they were going but I’m sure it was nothing good-natured. Jesse and Mia were asleep. I looked out the window and watched the others leave but then noticed Leon’s car was still in the driveway. I went looking for him and found him in the backyard. I said “So what was that for?” he looked as if he was taken back by my question. He said “What was what for?” I said “You know, the whole thing you pulled tonight at dinner.” He said “Lacey, I didn’t pull anything. I thought you realized what my objective was.” Now I’m the one that’s dumbfounded. I asked him “What do you mean?” He said “My plan was to get them to talk to you, and ask you questions. You said no one really ever talks to you, but tonight, every single one of them did. I did it for you because I'm used to being the underdog as well.” I was kind of pleased with his answer, still a bit confused though. I said “Why would you rather though?” He said “It’s one of my favorite games. You can get way more creative with would you rather as opposed to something like twenty questions. Plus, when you put someone on the line and give them two scenarios and two choices, you can tell a lot about that person simply by which outcome they…. Would rather. No matter how silly or simple the question.” It took me a minute to settle with what he said but it was honestly the best thing I’ve ever heard him say. I sat down near him on the back steps and asked something I probably shouldn’t have and said “Why didn’t you go with Vince, Dom and Letty? You usually do.” He said “Because I don’t have to……” I left it at that and was quiet for a minute, I wanted to initiate conversation but at the same time my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Leon interrupted the silence and said “Sorry if that sounded abrupt, I didn’t mean for it to. It’s just that I don’t need to go with them all the time, sometimes, I just like to rest…..” I smiled and said “Why do you always have toothpicks in your mouth?” It was such a dumb question, I know, but I wanted to switch the topic. He laughed and said “What an odd question, but I like it, I like odd,” and he continued with “and I don’t always have a toothpick.” We both started laughing. Then he said “I used to smoke cigarettes. Nearly a pack a day. Two if I was drinking.... Which was almsot every day. I quit cold turkey. One of the things that I picked up instead of a cigarette was a toothpick. It’s the habit of constantly having something in my hand that was hard to kick. Ya know, drink in one hand, ciagrette in the other. I also started chewing gum. Not nicotine gum though, just regular gum, but toothpicks kind of just stuck. Every time I felt the urge I would just chew on a toothpick for awhile until it passed. The irony is that now I have a toothpick addiction.” We both chuckled at the ironic outcome of the toothpicks, but the conversation kind of dropped there when Mia opened the door and asked me to help her do the dishes. Leon smiled at me and said “Talk to you tomorrow.”

CHAPTER FIVE:

Dear DIary…. Why am I writing in this dumb book? Why am I writing as if anyone is actually reading this other than me? I honestly never thought I would be this girly, but here I am writing in a journal and addressing it as my diary. It’s honestly stress relieving though. Anyways, since I’m here I might as well talk about my life the past few months since it’s been that long since I’ve last written in here. Leon and I have developed a very odd friendship, but a friendship to say the least. Most of our conversations are short, the longest time we spend together talking is about school related sutff. Nothing other than that has been exciting lately. Nothing out of the oridinary. Dom, Vince, Letty, Jesse and Leon still go on… night adventures. That’s what I like to call them. They leave late at night, and usually don’t come back until about 6AM, of course I still don’t know what they’re up to, and when it comes to that I’m completely out of the loop. I just know that every time they leave Mia gets upset, but in a way where she knows she can’t do anything about whatever is bothering her so she just lets it go, but not exactly. More so in the way that she acts like nothing is wrong while at the same time making it blantantly obvious that something is evidentally wrong.

Today is Leon’s birthday. We haven’t actually celebrated his birthday since we’ve known him. I don’t want to push it, but I do want to surprise him since he’s never had a real birthday party. I bought him a cake, but my excuse will be because of all the help he’s given me with tutoring, that’s if he doesn’t appreciate the fact that I’m attempting to celebrate his birthday. I’m sure he won’t mind though… At least I hope not. I probably should've just gotten candy, because that would've been a lot easier to dismiss since Leon's birthday is twelve days after Halloween. I’m supposed to meet him today directly after school at his new house, yeah he moved out, which is kind of upsetting, but he told me it was only temporary, I don’t know why he moved out, all I know is that him and Vince got into a disagreement because they shared a room. I guess Leon didn’t like Vince bringing in random girls all hours of the night, at least that was my assumption. Vince likes to gloat about the girls he brings into the house to sleep with, I guess it feeds his ego. Leon said he has roommates now, which I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not really used to being around anyone that isn’t my household for a long period of time. I just hope they’re not home when I’m there today.

After the last bell at school rang I quickly got out of there to avoid any teachers talking to me, they haven’t lately because my grades have actually improved, but just in case. Well, that and I was eager to pick up Leon’s cake from the bakery. I don’t even like cake, but I’m hoping he does otherwise this would be a very awkward situation. I finally got the cake and got on the city bus, which is actually a pretty frightening experience for me, I hate the city bus, every time I’ve rode it by myself some creepy person always tries to talk to me. Didn’t help that I was in a school uniform which is a top porn fantasy, my school is setting girls like me up for high anxiety in risky situations. There was literally this one time this creepy older dude was pestering me and asking me if I would join him and his wife in a threesome, but I pretended that I didn't speak any English which worked a litte bit, but I think the guy could tell I was faking it. However, some random dude who overheard the pervert saved the day. Surprisingly I made it off the bus alive, and my anxiety only reached a mild point. I finally found the house Leon is staying at now and I knocked on the door. It took him a few minutes but he finally opened it, he smiled and said “Hey Lacey.” and cocked his head towards the direction of the living room and told me to come in, I said “Wait. I’ve got something for you.” He turned back around with bewilderment, and I picked up the cake that I placed on the ground next to the door so he wouldn’t notice it right away. I said “..Happy Birthday.” and I smiled at him. He just stared at the cake and back at me, he did this a few more times and now at this point my anxiety is through the roof and I’m thinking to myself damn I fucked up but he started to laugh, it was a joyous laugh, he smiled real hard and I could honestly see his eyes water, my heart was beating insanely fast. He said “Thank you so much Lacey, I wasn’t expecting this… This… This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Literally.” I wanted to start crying because I thought he was starting to get upset, but I feel accomplished now. He immediately cut out a slice and offered me a piece and I said “No thank you, I actually don’t like cake. I would’ve gotten ice cream but it would’ve melted on the bus.” He smiled and said “It’s alright. You could’ve gotten me pretzels and stuck a sticky note onto the bag that said happy birthday and I would’ve been just as pleased.” I smiled real hard. Then out of nowhere he hugs me, and kisses me on top of my head. Anxiety level went from chill to almost panic attack in less than a second. I could smell alcohol on his breath when he got close to me. I said “Leon, are you okay?” He said “No, not really. I am now, but….” He didn’t continue his thought. I said “When did you start drinking today?” He said “When I woke up at eleven. I’m sorry Lacey I know I said I would help you today, but I forgot today was my birthday until I woke up. Birthdays aren’t really an exciting day for me, they never really were. This turned into the best birthday I’ve ever had though…. Thanks to you.” That comment sent chills down my spine. Just a few months ago I felt as if Leon didn’t really even acknowledge the fact that I existed, and now according to him, I gave him the best birthday of all his twenty years of life. I said “It’s okay, you don’t have to help me today. I’m actually doing pretty good. The only reason I asked you to study today was because I wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” I sounded as if I was confessing something bawdy, like he’s a Catholic preist and I’m the sinner. He said “Honestly…. Thank you so much Lacey….. Also, if you ever need anything… Anything at all.. I know I’m not down the hall anymore but you can come over here whenever you want. I’ll be here unless I’m with Dom, and all of them, which in that case I'll be at your house anyway.” I was almost tempted to ask him what is he does when he’s “with Dom, and all of them” but I’m having a good day, and we’re having a good moment, and I don’t want to spoil that. Maybe, I’ll ask him tomorrow since I'm getting a little bit more brave when it comes to actually talking to him. Leon drove me home so I didn’t have to ride the bus, especially now since it’s almost dark outside. He pulled up in front of the house and said “Thank you again for a great birthday, Lacey. Also, how did you even get the money for the cake? I didn’t think Mia paid you for helping out at the cafe.” She didn’t usually. She used to but hasn’t in awhile, and I’m not going to ask for money like that. It was kind of like allowance money for doing chores. However, I actually was selling stuff at school, that’s how I got the money, but I wasn’t going to answer, and I didn’t think he would ask this so I wasn’t prepared for any sort of escape route. I shot back with “How did you get the money for every modified piece for this car? Or even the car itself? I didn’t think doing brake checks, and tune ups paid for a luxury living.” He looked back at me, and he looked very shocked and didn’t say anything for a couple seconds I started to feel shitty but then he looked at me and said “Touche.” The next day I overheard everyone talking in the kitchen, I heard Leon too. I guess he spent the night. I stopped to hear what they were talking about. Considering they thought I wasn’t around, it would be interesting to hear what would come up. At first I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned “the meet up” tonight. I’ve heard them refer to things as “the meet up” before, but I don’t know what it is. What the hell are they going to do? I ran back upstairs and impulsively made the decision to call a friend of mine, the only friend I actually have, and even she is not someone I fully trust, but she lives in a different city, and I know she has a car, and I asked her if she could come visit immediately, and that we’re going to need her car tonight. I thought to myself what am I doing right now? Am I actually considering following my family just to see what it is that they do? I kept thinking of every rational excuse if I was to get caught, but I honestly couldn’t think of one, especially because I don’t even know what it is I’m about to stumble upon. Even Mia is going tonight, is it that big? Mia usually never goes with them. Only once in a blue moon. Chandler and I hung out in my room all day, I discussed the plans with her, and she said “As long you don’t get me killed I’m down for whatever.” I could hear everyone getting ready to leave, so me and Chandler snuck out the back door and ran to her car before anyone got outside, we dunked in her car so they wouldn’t see us and we waited for all of them to get halfway down the road before Chandler turned her car on and began to follow. I thought to myself, that this was too easy. How did they not notice? We followed them but stayed at a safe distance, we saw that there was a street blockage, but with hundreds of other street racing cars I was thinking what the fuck but Chandler said “Holy shit this looks cool.” She began to drive closer to the car “meet,” and I said “Chandler, no! Do you see all those cars? None of them look like yours, because they’re modified street racing cars. You have a 2008 Chevy Malibu. They’re going to think you’re an average person, and they’re not going to let you in. Park in the parking garage down the block that way, it’s free and discreet.” I thought to myself that was a pretty excellent point, but also I could see Leon’s car parked in one of the intersections, he was the guy blocking the road and literally within that conversation I saw him shooing away a pizza delivery guy. How awkward would that have been for Chandler to casually drive up next to his yellow imported-from-Europe-heavily modified-1996 Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 in her used-bought-off-the-street-silver 2008 Chevy Malibu with me in the passenger seat? We walked back down towards the blockage but I said “Lets enter a different way.” So we took a right at the last intersection before the blockage Leon was at, and we walked down the block to the next blockage of parked cars with people who weren’t even really paying attention, but also people who wouldn’t recognize me nontheless.   We started blending into the crowd, but Chandler of course doesn’t exactly know the real reason we’re here. I told her the basic outline of tonight’s plans but she doensn’t exactly know why I wanted to follow my brother. She doesn’t even know what my brother looks like or anyone else in the family for that matter. She thinks that I snuck her into some kind of party and that nobody would really care if they saw me. She started to have too much fun. She was dancing with random people, and even shared a blunt with someone for like five minutes. I walked over to her and these random guys smoking blunts and said “Chandler, lets go.” I grabbed her hand seeing how she’s already high as hell and we walk through the crowd, I want to get closer to the center because that seems to be where everyone was gravitating their focus to. I got close enough. I saw my brother, Dom, Letty, Jesse, and Mia. I got there just in time to hear Dom say “Okay Hector will hold the money” and he handed this Hector a fat stack of cash. I'm talking the kind of stacks you only see on the crime movies when there's a deal going down. You never see that much cash in person, unless you're the kind of person they make those movies about. It was evident that everyone who put in the money was going to race Dom. The concept was easy to grasp. Whoever won, got the entire stack of cash and whatever else was betted. I later learned that people even sometimes betted the pink slips to their cars. I felt uneasy, but it was starting to make a lot more sense. I thought to myself okay so they street race at least they’re not hitmen but I still felt like I was missing so much more. Dom invented this thing called Race Wars that happened once of month, but this wasn’t it. Vince took me to one of the Race War meets a couple years ago. So he could take me to Race Wars, why couldn't he take me to this? What was so different? Apparently Dom has Race Wars rigged to where it’s legal, as long as no bets are made, but seeing this, I’m sure there’s bets made under the table. However, this was way too obvious. Their cars make it pretty evident they like to race. Whether legally or illegally doesn't matter, it's just the fact that it was too easy of a guess. Which ultimately means, this can't be the bottom of the barrell of their secrets. Otherwise, cops would've busted them a long time ago. I mean even the cops in this city know that Toretto is notoriously known for street racing. There's got to be way more to the story than this. I intend to find out. If they're not going to be honest with me and just tell me whatever it is, what do they expect? I have to sneak around to get answers. It's sad that's what it has come down to, but that's not my fault. It's theirs. I turned to talk to Chandler but she wasn’t next to me. I started freaking out, but I was mostly pissed off, because she’s been wondering off since we got here. How could she just walk away and not tell me? Also, how is she going to say "as long as you don't get me killed, I'm down for whatever" when she's the one being reckless and putting herself in sketchy positions where dangerous scenarios are more than likely to occur? We were surrounded by a lot of people, too many people, I could smell the toothpaste on some people’s breaths. She was just right next to me a few moments ago. I fought my way through the crowd to look for her, but someone grabs my arm and turns me around and my heart sank to the fucking ground. “Lacey!? What are you doing here!?” It was Leon. I was so careful, how the hell did he just happen to find me? I didn’t say anything I yanked my arm from his hand and ran away. I couldn’t find Chandler anywhere, and at this moment I was panting. I ran back to the parking garage. Chandler’s car was still parked. The cold November night air was making me breathe really heavy. I had no choice but to run back and attempt to look for her. I saw Leon sitting in his car again, as if what just happened didn’t fucking happen. He seemed to be more alert though as if he was looking for me, but as if he couldn’t leave his car at the same time. I saw him talk into a walkie talkie and then next thing I knew I heard joyous screams as if the race was about to go down, I heard engienes revving, and I fought my way through all the crowds, I made my way to front of the crowd just in time to see the cars breeze right past me. They only raced a quarter mile, and Dom won. I could hear cheering, and I saw the Hector guy give Dom all the money. I still feel like this isn’t the only source of mysterious income, but at the moment that wasn’t on my mind. I couldn’t find my friend and next thing I knew I heard sirens. These things get shut down real fast apparently. Everyone scattered like roaches to their cars and headed out immediately. Cops were chasing cars left to right and even stopping pedestrians. I ran as fast as I could to the parking garage thinking that Chandler would now have enough sense to come back to her car, but she still wasn’t there. I waited for like five minutes and thought holy fuck where is she it doesn’t take that long to get here especially when you’re running because of the COPS. I ran out of the parking garage and started walking pretty fast the cops seemed to have been off chasing cars now, I heard a car screech and pull up behind me. It was Leon. He seemed angry as fuck and it scared me, I’ve never seen him this mad he said “Get in!” We didn’t say a word to each other the whole way home. During the ride he didn’t seem pissed off, just concerned. I asked “Are you going to tell Vince?” He said “No. As far as I’m concerned we’re not even having this conversation right now. If you want to tell Vince then that’s on you.” I left the conversation alone after that. We were the first ones back home, and Leon said “Thank God. Get out and run to the backdoor, make it look like you didn’t even go out tonight.” I began to ask what the huge deal was, but he cut me off, so I did exactly what he said. I ran to the back door, up to my room, changed into some gray sweatpants and a black and yellow Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt. I threw my hair up in a bun and removed my makeup. I look as if I was sleeping this entire time and I finished just in time. Gradually everyone began walking through the front door as I was peeking down from the stairs, no one sees me yet. They all walk in so casually, as if none of this even happened. As if they weren’t just being car chased by police. I went downstairs and Leon shot me this look as if he was telepathically telling me to “play it cool.” I walked up to Vince and he said “Hey what’s up Lacey. Still awake?” I said “Yeah, couldn’t sleep.”

CHAPTER SIX:

The next morning, no one is home except for Vince, I go downstairs and sit next to him on the couch. I immediately started asking him questions about last night. I gave him the opprotunity to tell me the truth, but after I asked him what he did last night he just said “What do you think I did?” I said “I don’t know that’s why I’m asking.” He said “Well, what did you and your friend do last night?” It’s like he knows I was testing him so now he’s testing me. I said “Why?” he said “Why does what I did matter?” I just sat there in silence. He said “So… Is there anything you want to tell me?” I just looked up at him and thought to myself if I tell him the truth maybe he won’t care, maybe he’ll finally keep me in the loop with everything. Plus, he’s answering my questions with questions as if he already knows exactly what I’m getting at and exactly what Chandler and I did last night. I know my brother all too well and continuing to lie isn't going to do me any good because then Vince won't trust me. If Vince starts answering your questions with codenscending questions, he knows whatever it is you think you're hiding. I immediately came clean and said “I followed you last night, I saw the race and everything.” He looked at me as if he wasn’t shocked and he just bluntly said “I know. I knew this day would come. I guess I just wanted to hold on to your innocence a little longer. Next time though you better ask me so I can keep you safe. I also know that your friend wasn’t safe.” I was surprised to hear him say that. How could he have possibly known Chandler got lost or whatever happened to her? I mean, him knowing I was there wasn’t surprising, he could’ve saw me just as easily as Leon did. Or did Leon tell him? I asked “Is she okay? I’ve been trying to call and text her all morning.” He said “She lost her phone, but she’s fine. She got into a random person’s car and went to a random after party. Hector told me he saw her there after she walked up to him fucked out of her mind asking "Can you help me find Lacey Scaletta?” I’m sorry to say this Lacey, but friends like her can get you killed or locked up. I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore…. At least if I’m not around.“ I jokingly said "You technically were though,” but he just gave me 'the look’. However, I knew what he was saying was true. Chandler was too unpredictable and wild. She was a great friend when it came down to it, but in situations like last night she can’t be trusted. She could’ve gotten me or herself killed. Smoking weed, popping bottles, going home and partying with strangers, She could’ve been raped and killed. She didn’t even bother contacting me through social media to say she was okay or that she was sorry for making me freak out so badly. I said to Vince “I don’t really hang out with Chandler much anyway, she lives in Riverside. She’s just the only person I know with a car other than you guys and it's not like you guys invited me.” He said “Hey….. You know what… How about I let you drive my car.” I said “When!? Right now? For what?” He said “Yes, and because I’m going to teach you how to drive. You’ll be sixteen in two months, I knew how to drive when I was fourteen. I’m not about to let my baby sister not know how to drive.” We started to walk outside towards his car, and I said “Wait, tell me what else is it that you guys do, and I want the truth.” He looked at me very puzzled, but he sighed and said “Get in, I’ll explain.” I’m actually driving pretty well, and Vince said he was impressed, and I am too. I didn’t think it would be this easy, but once I got used to the small things like putting my foot on the brake to switch gears the rest came naturally. He occasionally told me to slow down or speed up but it was my first time I wasn’t quite use to the feel yet. He said “Alright pull over into that parking lot.” I recognized this place I said “Hey, isn’t this where Race Wars is at every month?” He said “Yeah, I’ve taken you here once, remember?” I said “Yes! That’s exactly why I remember this place.” He said “Pull over to the track.” Once I got there he said “Now, go as fast as you can, and when I say stop slam your foot on the brake.” I said “Are you serious?” He said “I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” So I did it and I could feel the adrenaline pump through my veins. This has honestly been one of the nicest days I’ve spent with Vince in such a long time. We started laughing directly after I slammed my foot on the break and he said “So do you really want to know what it is we do other than street racing and Race Wars?” I looked at him as if that was a dumb question and said “Yes Vince. I hate feeling like I’m entirely out of the loop, as if none of you even trust me enough to tell me.” He said “That’s just it Lacey, we have to trust you entirely before we tell you.” I said “Vince I’m your little sister. I would lie for you, I would die for you, Vince. I know it’s supposed to be the other way around, but I love you just as much as you love me, and I would die for you too. I would lie or die for any of you. You guys are all I got, do you really think I would go out and tell the world and risk losing you? I’ve always known you guys were up to something, I just didn’t know what it was exactly. I want to be apart of whatever it is, I want to be one of you!” He said “Alright, but it takes time, I can’t just throw you into the ring and expect you to win the fight. I have to train you. We all do. We also all have our own roles. I know you’ve seen the inside of Leon’s car, so I know you saw the police scanner, that’s evidently his role. I do the dirty work, Dom and Letty are the main shot callers basically, but they’re just body guards for me technically, and Jesse he’s the mechanic, he’s the one who makes our cars pretty much bullet proof, and he juices up our cars for races."I asked "So the races are rigged?” He said “No, that’s not what I meant. We just have an extra boost of Nitrious Oxide.” I asked “So is Dom the only one who races or do you all race?” He said “We pretty much all get our turn, but it's Dom's thing mainly.” I continued to ask questions because he seemed to start holding back on answers. “So street racing is the only thing you do?” He said “No. There’s a shipping yard a few miles north. There’s a dirty inside job there, but one of the guys on the inside of that dirty job is on the inside with us. He’s basically our informant. He tells us what trucks the fake shipments are in and it’s route and we hijack it. Most of the time it’s truck loads of money, sometimes it’s money and cocaine. We thought about taking the cocaine too, but that’s not our thing, and we give our informant more share than he normally gets that’s what’s in it for him.” I asked “So do you kill the truck drivers?” Vince said “No! We don’t kill anyone. I hijack the truck, and shoot the driver with a tranq bullet, we take what we want, and we leave the truck on the side of the road, the driver eventually wakes up, but by that time we’re already long gone.” I asked “When’s the next shipment?” He laughed a little under his breath and said “That's not for you to worry about.” I said “But if you’re the one who hijacks the truck that means the rest of them are just in their cars, I can just sit with them and watch you hijack.” He said “Sit with who?” I said Leon and Vince immediately said no. I asked him what he had against Leon since the way he said no made it seem like he did have something against him, or at least something against me riding with him, and he said “I have nothing against him, I just don’t want you to go.” I begged and begged and begged, and he finally gave in he said “You know what, if you work in the garage with me for awhile instead of the cafe then I will let you go, but only if you’re in Leon’s car because he’s in the back, Letty does dangerous shit, and Jesse is in the front towards the side and Dom and I are directly in front of the truck, and usually the drivers have weapons. ” I was totally fine with riding with Leon for the obvious reasons, but even more fine with it because of what Vince just said. I asked if the garage was illegal too just to be a sarcastic asshole and he actually said “Technically. It’s a chop shop. We do illegal repossesions, we take parts for our cars and we sell other parts, and we also have some random customers, but they’re mostly from people in the street racing world. Civilians don’t like the name Toretto.” I said “Well, they sure like the cafe.” He said “Let me rephrase that. They don’t like the name Toretto when Dominic is in front of it. They don’t mind Mia.” Vince looked at me and said “By the way… They don’t like the name Scaletta either.” Then he smiled at me and started laughing. I said "So when you say illegal repossessions you basically mean you're stealing cars, right?" He said "Duh. That and actually get cars people put down pink slips for but try to hide and get out of it." I was really wanted to push on this hijack topic because I was trying to grasp my mind around the fact that my family hijacks semi-trucks. I asked "How long have the hijacks been going on?” He said “Maybe about a year or so.” I said “And the guy who’s on the inside hasn’t been caught yet? Don’t you think they would assume one of their guys is being a traitor when all their shipments get fucked up?” Vince said “You really do think just like me don’t you?” He laughed and continued with “Don’t worry about it Lacey. It’s nothing you need to even worry about at all anyway, but we already got it covered.” I said “Well, other than that, you do realize that the longer this goes on, the FBI might get involved. They’re basically organzied heists.... Well, they are organized heists.” Vince sighed in a tone as if he knew I was right but just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet. He said “Alright, kiddo. Switch spots with me. It’s time to go home.” That night I saw that Leon was there and asked him if he told Vince about last night, and he said “No, I told you as far as I’m concerned last night didn’t even happen.” I asked “Well how did he find out?” He looked at me confused and said “He knows?” I said “Yeah, but he wasn’t even mad about it…. At all actually.” He said “Hmm, that’s strange but like I said Lacey anything you don’t want Vince or anyone to know I won’t say shit. I won’t even say shit to anyone about anything even if you don’t explicitly ask me to not tell anyone. I'm not a he said, she said kinda guy.” I said “But you’re like my brother’s right hand man….” He laughed and said “That doesn’t mean I have to inform him of every single thing that happens in my personal life.” I was extremely pleased that he implied I was apart of his personal life. The next day at school when I was going to lunch I saw Vince in the school office, I walked in and asked him what he was doing here he said “I’m granting permission for Dom, Letty, Mia, Jesse, and Leon to come pick you up from school in case anything ever happens and I’m not available to come get you.” I said “Okay, can you take me home now? I don’t want to be here anymore.” He laughed and said “I figured you’d say that. I was going to do that after this anyway since I’m here I might as well.”

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Dear Diary… A couple months have gone by again since I’ve last written in you. My birthday is tomorrow and I’ll be sixteen, I feel like there’s such a huge difference between sixteen and fifteen. Anything below fifteen is too young, but anything after fifteen is old enough (for most things anyway) but fifteen is just.. fifteen. There’s nothing special about fifteen, you’re neutral. You’re not too young but you’re not quite old enough. I feel like once I turn sixteen the rest of them will start treating me more like an adult and start trusting me more. I still haven’t gone to one of these “shipments” but all of them have been 'training’ me. It’s like criminal boot camp. Only I don’t really see it that way. My family has had cops on the inside. They’ve had made deals with cops that eventually led to their complete immunity to things in the past. If someone wearing a badge can be dirty, then we’re all dirty.We’re all just doing what we have to do to survive a cold world, right?. Ultimately this just proves that a badge doesn't make someone great, sometimes the ones with the badges are even worse than the ones without them.

Twenty or so minutes after I walk downstairs and lay on our porch hammock in the backyard and I start to daydream. I can't really look at the clouds because it’s an overcast day, it’s just one big grey cloud blanketed across the entire sky, but I don’t mind, overcast and rainy days are my favorite, and since we live in Los Angeles it hardly ever rains so I actually cherish the days that it does. Just when I thought I was alone, Leon comes out of nowhere and lays on the hammock next to me, but opposite direction, his head was where my feet were at. I said “Um, hi.” He said “What’s on the agenda for today?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Math? History? Science?” I said “To be honest, I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want to lay here.” He said “I’m right there with you.” If this were to happen months ago before he started tutoring me I would be freaking the fuck out, but I completely feel comfortable around him now, well not entirely, but much more than before and I really like the feeling of that. I said “Oh hey Leon…. Will you tell on me if I smoke this blunt?” He cocked his head up so fast to look at me and gave me this expression like did she really just say that?  He just started laughing though and said “I won’t say a damn thing…… if you share,” and then he winked at me. We smoked the whole blunt, we’re just high as a kite chilling on this hammock, we don’t really speak we just lay there next to each other. I didn’t mind though because when you can be around someone and be completely comfortable even though it’s silent that’s a beautiful thing. I don’t know what it is, but when you’re with someone and you can be silent without the awkward tension, you can feel more vibrations between your energy and theirs. It’s like you can connect more with that person through silence rather than with verbal discussion and you don't deem it necessary to spark a conversation to break any awkward silence, because there is none. It's just beautiful silence.  I know it probably sounds like the marijuana talking through me right now but I always felt this way. I’m very spiritual and I used to meditate routinely. I had to, it helped me dissassociate myself from the memories of my childhood, but lately I just sort of fell off the tracks. I guess that’s why I don’t see eye to eye with my family most of the time, like I love them, and I appreaciate them, and I love spending time with them. It’s just I feel that my thought process is more advanced than theirs. That probably sounds narcissistic, but it’s kind of true. I can usually see the bigger picture, or the greater good, and they can’t. Sometimes even when the greater good is right there in their face they're too loyal. Meaning that even when they know they're wrong they won't admit it and they'll stand up for each other even when they know they're wrong. However, I’m not saying that they aren’t smart I just feel like I figure out solutions faster than they do most of the time. Most of their so called solutions end with violence and blood. Leon is a different story however. I feel a connection between him and I, despite how cliche that sounds it’s true. I just feel like he and I definitely see eye-to-eye. When I’m near him I feel very euphoric. After the high started to wear off Leon sits up and says, “Want to go get food?” I said “That’s a dumb question.” once we get in his car he said “Where do you wanna eat?” I said “I’m in the mood for some Japanese food..” He hesitated and said “The closest Jap restaurant is in Koreatown….. Ironically enough.” I said “Yeah…? And..?” He said “Oh shit, that’s right you don’t know anything about that.” He started to pull out from the driveway and I grabbed his wrist preventing him from turning the keys and said “Don’t know anything about what?” He said “Forget it, Lacey.” I said “You can’t just say shit like that and expect me to forget about it.” He sighed and said “Johny Tran.” I said “And…….. Who is that?” He said “Dominic’s enemy. He and Dom are the two power balls of the streets around here, especially in the street racing community. It’s basically his turf. Dominic’s crew stays away from his turf, and his crew stays away from our turf- Echo Park.” I said “I don’t understand I go to that Japanese place all the time.” He said “Their beef is with Dom and his crew, not Vince’s little sister.” I hesitated to respond because I don’t like being simply known as Vince’s little sister, I have a name of my own and I don’t want to live in his shadow. Unfortunately, however, Vince has already plastered a bad name for Scaletta. People who’ve heard of that name knows that anyone with it doensn’t come with remarkable behavior or outstanding citizenship. At least that’s what one of my teachers told me. She was Vince’s English teacher too. Anyways, I sucked it up and said “Wait so they know who I am?” I mean at least they know of me, right? Better than being completely non-existent like I thought I was. He said “Yep. Why do you think we lied to you? It wasn’t to keep you out of the loop, and it wasn’t because we didn’t trust you. We we’re protecting you.” I said “I don’t see how lying to me protected me at all, I’ve freely walked around Koreatown numerous times as if there was not a care in the fucking world.” He said “I was always watching you.” I said “Woah, wait, what the fuck?” He said “Not like that. Your brother, since I’m his right hand man as you say, assigned me to watch over you. He only asked me to because things have recently heated up between Dom and Tran a lot more than usual.” I said "Wait, so I'm an assignment? Is that the only reason you started talking to me? Tutoring me? Hanging out with me?"  He said "Actually no, not at all. I started tutoring you before Vince wanted me to watch out for you. I promise every thing has gone naturally. I actually like to spend time with you?" I asked "By following me?" I just continued to glare at him and he said “Lacey I wasn’t stalking you, I only ever followed you to Koreatown when I heard you say something about going to Koreatown.” I said “So you weren’t always watching me?” He said “No.” He said it in a tone as if he really wanted to say you caught me. I said “So technically, I wasn’t always safe.” He said in the same tone “I guess not….. But you’re alive.” I said “Well, I still want Japanese food.” Leon gave me this look as if he really wanted to say “Are you serious?” But he just said “Fine, but we’re taking the train they’ll see my car from a mile away.” Once we get to the Japanese restaurant things seemed to go pretty smoothly other than the fact that Leon seemed to always be looking over his shoulder, literally and metaphorically. We shared an order of spring rolls and we each had our own sushi roll. I don’t even like fish though so I got the terryaki chicken roll and I was surprised to see that Leon walked over to the table with the same fucking thing, except his was the terryaki steak roll. Each roll comes with ten little sushi rolls so I gave Leon five of my terryaki chicken's for five of his terryaki steaks. It worked out perfectly. We got to talking and I dunk down in my side of the booth and asked him about his childhood. I probably shouldn’t have because I felt the mood go from really great to not-so-great in a matter of seconds. He said “Lacey…. I don’t really want to talk about my childhood, but if you really want to know more about the Leon that existed before I moved into your house two years ago I will say this; I’m a dirfter… Well, was a drifter and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that in every place I stopped at I probably stayed a maximum of three months in each place (I was actually aware of this, Mia told me) and each place I had a different name (but I did not know this information.) I never gave anyone my real name. (Or this.) In every place I established a network of.. “friends,” I liked to refer to them strictly as connections, but they kept trying to tell me that I was running from something, and they’re probably right, but to be honest I believe I was running to find something, and I don’t know exactly what I was looking for, all I know is that I think I found it.“ After he said that he just glared over at me and it made my body tingle, and I don’t know why. He continued to talk and said "When I happened to run into Dom and your brother two years ago I introduced myself with my actual name. That’s something I haven’t done since high school prior to them. So it felt weird, it didn’t even feel like that’s who I really was anymore. I had completely forgotten about Leon, the real me. I was just a kid when they found me though, I was hustling and I ended up hustling at Race Wars, making bets before I even knew that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd. Dom asked me if I was hungry and if I had a place to stay that night, I said yeah I was hungry but no I didn’t have a home…. Never really did, and then just like that they took me in…… like a lost fucking puppy…” I tried to sound reassuring and said “At least lost puppies that get taken in get a much better and happier life.” He was still looking down but I could see him smile. He looked up and said “That’s actually a really good way to look at it, Lacey.” I just smiled at him to conclude the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about anything negative anymore. It makes me happy to know that Dom and my brother took him in as family though. It’s not like they just select and recruit random people. Vince and Dom genuinely cared about Leon’s well-being. They welcomed him into our home with a home cooked meal. I remember that because I was there. The first night he arrived he was in dirty clothes that smelt like a community trash can, and his shoes had holes in them. He didn’t look homeless though, he was clean shaved, and his hair was washed and slicked back like it always is, he just looked… Poor. I remember peeping in on him when he thought he was alone that night, and he was crying. I was just a little girl compared to what I am now and I was curious about the stranger in my home. He doesn’t know I saw him cry though, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think I recall that night. I don’t plan on telling him that I do in fact remember every thing about that night. Same as when Jesse arrived. How could I forget the nights two very important people in my life came along? Jesse’s story is a bit different from Leon’s though. Dom and my brother found him running from a gang of people who jumped him. He ran into the garage yelling for help. Poor Jesse, he’s so small and fragile. You would never assume he was apart of this kind of life, but he wasn’t running from a gang of people who wanted him dead for no reason. To outsiders, Dom seems like the kind of person who is nothing but a thug, and that he has no ounce of compassion or feelings in general. However, he’s actually a very caring person. He’s literally mama bear to all of us. Or whatever you want to call it. We’re his family, and he is strongly over-protective. Dom is just highly misunderstood. He doesn’t like to open up, but the only reason I know the things that I do is because I grew up with him and his family. When Dom and Mia’s dad died, Dom claims it wasn’t an accident. He watched his dad perish in a burning car. He swears on everything of value to him that the car was tampered with because his dad never made a mistake. Years later when Dom was a young adult he found the guy he knew was responsible for his dad’s death and beat him with a pipe wrench so badly that he went blind in one eye, and facial reconstruction couldn’t even fix the guy’s face. That was Dom’s first serious offense, and he spent two years in prison for it. He says that he’ll die before he ever goes back. Dom says his passion for street racing is because of his dad. He says within those ten seconds or less, within that quarter mile…. He’s free.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I’m just a kid who claims she’s indepedent and that I don’t need anyone to talk to, or help me, but the reality of that is in all honesty I’m dependent on everyone else in my household. I would literally be clueless without them. I don’t want to be that way, I try very hard to overcome that. I believe it mostly has to do with everything that I’ve been through, and I’m talking about since the beginning. My biological parents were very unfit parents. My mother was a junkie, Vince says she didn’t start using until a year or so after I was born. That makes me feel very unwanted, but Vince assures me that they were pieces of shit to him as well. My dad was an alcoholic and an abuser. He’d beat the living shit out of my mom and my brother for fun. My mom also provoked the fights though. Most of the time it was about money, according to Vince. Our dad’s paychecks didn’t support either of their habits or feed us. Vince was always the one taking care of me. He said that at ten years old he was changing my diapers because our parents either ignored my cries or were too intoxicated and fucked up to even hear them. Vince locked him and I in his room to protect us, mostly from our father. Vince told me one night he snuck out with me in his arms as just a little baby and he took me all the way to the Toretto house. Vince won’t admit it was because he was scared, he says it’s because he didn’t know what to do. Dom’s father always helped as much as he could but unfortunately to legal standards, we had to go home eventually. As I got little bit older my brother would always take the blame for things that I did wrong. I remember accidently knocking a cup over and splashed orange juice all over the floor and the glass broke. My mother watched it happen but she was too high to even be aware. She didn't even flinch. Our dad comes in from the other room yelling and screaming. I was crying, and my dad got up in my face because he assumed I did it since I was crying so hard, but Vince jumped in and made sure I didn’t get hurt. That night Vince went to the hospital with a broken nose for something he didn’t even do. After that Dom’s father fought for legal rights of us. It was a long battle, but we eventually we’re taken in legally by Dom’s family. In the meantime however, the abuse didn’t stop. One night my mother asked me to do something for her. I was seven years old and I was excited because my mom never asked me to do anything. I was pretty sure at times she didn’t even know who I was. She asked me to wake her up early in the morning at 5:30 precisely. I made sure I stayed up the whole night, because I didn’t want to fuck up since this was the first thing my mom ever asked from me. I didn’t want to let her down basically. I didn’t tell Vince about it until after because I was sure he would talk me out of it. At 5:30 on the dot I snuck out of Vince’s room where he and I both slept. I stood on the chair he had in his room to reach the top locks on the door, and I went into my parent’s room. I woke my mom up and she was already dressed. She didn’t say a single word to me, not even a thank you. She went into her closet and grabbed a couple of bags and walked out the front door. I looked out the window and saw her get into a car, and I never saw her again after that. After it happened I cried and told Vince what happened. He was seventeen at the time, so he didn’t care too much about our mom leaving. The only thing that made him mad was that she tricked me into thinking she cared about me enough to get me to do something for her. I sobbed really hard and Vince held me and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I said “but daddy’s gonna be mad at me” and Vince said that he wasn’t going to let my dad hurt me. Later that morning when my dad found out my mom was gone Vince again took the blame for me. He got his ass kicked really badly. Every beating I deserved Vince took the blame for it. Vince got all the shit growing up and I got none of it. To this very day our childhood is not something we talk about. Ever since Dom’s father took us in our lives did a complete turn around. We weren’t afraid or uncomfortable in the house we were living in anymore. We finally had a place to call home and had it actually feel like a home. I still don’t know what ever happened to my mother, or father at this point. I have no idea if they’re even still alive, but I don’t even care.

CHAPTER NINE:

I woke up this morning with everyone in my room yelling “SURPRISE!” I was literally not expecting this, and certainly not expecting everyone to be standing in my room. At least I wasn’t sleeping naked like I normally do because that would’ve been embarrassing if I kicked the blanket off of me in the middle of the night. I see Leon holding a cake and he winked at me as if he was telepathically telling me “Since you got me a cake I got you one.” We do a lot of telepathic speaking come to think of it. They all handed me presents one by one, and when Vince gave me his he sat down next to me on the bed and said “Happy 16th birthday, kiddo. You know… My sixteenth birthday…. Sucked. All I ever wanted was a better life for you.” I just hugged him really tight. Dom said “We’re all going to pitch in to make you one hell of a breakfast so don’t fall back asleep.” Gradually everyone started to leave the room and Leon sat down next to me and said “I remember you said you don’t like cake so I got you a cookie cake, I figured that would be better.” I said “Yeah, I love cookies so..,” and smiled at him, then he pulled out a present from his pocket. He said “I know it isn’t big but sometimes smaller presents are usually the ones that cost more.” I said “The price tag means nothing to me Leon, it’s the thought that counts. I know that’s cliche to say, but it’s true.” I opened the box and it was a Pandora charm bracelet. It had a crescent moon, a sun, and all kinds of cute little things. I said “Holy shit, thank you Leon. You didn’t have to do this.” He said “Of course I didn’t have to…. I wanted to,” then he smiled and walked off. I literally sat there in shock because this whole morning started off really bizarre, I went to bed last night not expecting to even get a single present. They didn’t shower me with gifts and a big fancy breakfast last year. It was just a casual dinner at Applebee’s. I walked downstairs and they even let me have champagne and orange juice. I think I’m already starting to like the feeling of being sixteen. Later that night I overhear them talking about going on another run. Of course, I was interested, so I listened. I heard Leon say “This isn’t going to be a casual run though. We’re just going to the warehouse.” I didn’t know what was said before that because I had just began to eavesdrop. Dom said “I know, I want you and Vince to cover the back. Jesse you keep a look out in the front. I’ll handle the business.” Mia was out with Letty, I don’t know what they were doing but they took Letty’s car, which means Mia’s is out front.  I have no idea where this bright idea came from, but I decided to follow. I remembered everything Vince told me when he took me out driving. I began to follow them, and it was such a long drive. Took about fourty-five minutes to get to the warehouse, I followed behind but tried to stay as far away as possible, especially when we got to those long California roads that nobody seems to be on at the same time you are. I see them pull onto a lengthy dirt road that led to the location. I parked Mia’s car on the side of the road and began to walk. I remember Dom saying he wanted Jesse out front, so I dipped off to the side a little bit. There were plenty of trees to prevent me from being seen. I made it pass Jesse, and now I’m on the side of the warehouse. There’s a huge painter’s bucket that’s just big enough for me to stand on and inch my eyes up to the window to peak in. I see Dom talking to two asian guys. I heard him call him Johny. This must be the Johny Tran that Leon told me about. I was trying to see what they were doing, but I was too short to see everything. I tried to stand more on my tippy-toes but I slipped off the bucket and fell. It was pretty noisy, so I jumped up stood back on the bucket and checked the window to see if they heard it, but thank god they didn’t. I jump off the bucket and start heading back to the car, because that was too close of a call and I began to walk backwards to make sure no one was coming from the back, but I bumped into someone. They covered my mouth to prevent anyone from hearing my screams. I thought this was it, I thought this was the moment that I die. I kicked and tried to fight as best as I could. I felt my heart flutter and thump in my chest like a bass drum. Then all of the sudden I get turned around and pushed up against the wall and it’s Leon holding his finger by his mouth indicating for me to be quiet. He gradually took his hand away from my mouth when he felt my breathing ease up. I tried to run away like I did before on the night of the race, but Leon grabbed my arm and pushed me back up against the wall. It was pretty hard, and my head bounced off. I pushed him back and I snapped and said “Don’t fucking touch me like that ever again.” He grabbed my head and whispered “Shhhh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He grabbed my face in a gentle way and hugged me, and said “I didn’t mean to do it that hard, but goddamnit Lacey what the fuck are you doing here?” I said “I have no excuse, just please don’t tell Vince.” He said “Jesus Christ, Lacey. You can’t be doing this every time and expect me to save you and cover for you. What if that wasn’t me you ran into? What if it wasn’t one of us and it was one them? Do you think you would still be alive right now!? Probably not!” I just looked down and started to cry. I want more than anything to be one of them but I guess I'm just not ready to handle it. He grabbed my chin and wiped my tears and continued and said “How did you even get here?” I said “I took Mia’s car.” Leon just heavily sighed and said “Go home, Lacey.” I said “Are you going to tell?” He turned around and said “No….. But if this happens again I will, Lacey. I’ll have to for your own good. Now, just go home, and don’t be seen! if you get caught we didn't just have this conversation.” Then he ran off towards the back of the warehouse. I got home before Letty and Mia did thankfully. I definitely would’ve gotten in trouble if Mia got home and found her car gone, but with Leon covering for me I can make up a lie and say I just went to a friend’s house or something, and I would get into way less trouble, but thankfully no lies needed to be said, at least on my part. I ran upstairs to my room, and didn’t come back out. I stayed up all night, I could hear their cars pull into the driveway. I turn over to look at the clock, and it’s 6:42 AM. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. Fifteen minutes go by and I hear a slight knock at my door. It was loud enough to get my attention, I don’t know if I would’ve heard it though if I had actually been asleep though. I was confused as hell and I pondered the thought of actually opening it but I guess I took too long because when I finally made the decision and cracked the door open nobody was there.

CHAPTER TEN:

I walk downstairs the next morning, I was supposed to be in school, but I obviously wasn’t going considering the fact that by the time I even fell asleep school had already started. I slowly walk down the stairs to see if I hear anyone talking and the house was dead silent. It was 10:00AM and I’m guessing the rest of them are still sleeping. I walk into the kitchen and nearly almost run into Vince and I jumped so hard, I thought my heart stopped. He says “Why are you so jumpy, and why didn’t you go to school?” I said “Why aren’t you asleep?” He just gave me a puzzled look and asked “Why would I be asleep?” He asked, and I said “I heard you guys pull in at like 6:30.” He said “Oh….. Well…. I slept for a few hours. Now answer my question.” I said “I didn’t feel like going.” He said “Okay,” and started to walk off. I said “That’s it? "Okay.” You’re not going to yell at me? Ask me why I didn’t feel like going? Nothing?“ He said "Why would I yell at you? I just asked you why you weren’t at school. You answered my question and that’s all I wanted.” He starts to walk off and turns back around and said “Oh, Lacey…. Dom and I are going to begin construction down here in the house. We’re going to build the princess Leon his own room so he can quit bitching about sharing one with me and bitching about his roommates at his other house. Anyways, it’s going to be pretty noisy so you might want to get some sleep now while you can.” I said “How did you know I haven’t really slept?” He said “…I didn’t… Until now.” Then he starts to walk off again and I stopped him and said “Hey Vince… Did you knock on my door this morning?” Vince looks extremely puzzled and said “No. Why would I do that?” I played it off and said “I must’ve heard your door close or something I don’t know.” He said “Alright.” Then walks away and goes back to his room with a bowl of cereal. I walk around the rest of the house and then walk into the living room. I see Leon sleeping on the couch. I slowly walk over to him but then quickly walk away thinking to myself what the hell am I doing? How do I even know it was him who knocked on my door? Wait, who else could it have been? But why did he knock? A few hours later around noon I decide to sit outside on the hammock. It’s such a beautiful, breezy day. I feel at peace and then suddenly the backdoor opens and it’s Leon. I jump up and start to walk off and he grabbed my arm, but then quickly took his hand back as if he's the one traumatized by grabbing me like that last night and he said “You know you don’t have to run from me.” I said “I know…..” He also said “I’m also really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to be so rough.” I said “…..I know…” He felt my head and felt a knot on it and said “Jesus Christ,” and then sighed really heavily. I said “It’s okay… Really… I’m not upset about it, I shouldn’t have been there in the first place, and I know you didn’t mean to do it.” He said “No. It's not alright. It's never alright under any circumstances for a guy to treat a girl like that. Don't justify it Lacey. I fucked up and I feel like shit. I would kill anyone who puts on a knot on your head and here I am giving you one.” I paused a moment and thought about what he just said it made me feel so loved and cared about that I nearly started crying, but in a joyous way. I look up at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He said “Anyways……. I could go for a haircut. If you're feeling up to it, that is.” Then looked at me with a smirk. I said “Okay…. But you owe me.” He said “Okay, what do I owe you? I said  ”….. I don’t know yet…. I mean…  I know, but I don’t want to talk about it yet.“ He looked a little confused but chuckled and said "Alright Lacey..” I ran back downstairs with the trimmers and scissors. He was already sitting in a porch chair outside. I plugged the trimmers into the outside outlet and said “They aren’t going to reach bring the chair back a little bit.” He did, and I proceeded. He said “Just do it exactly like the last time, and don’t take too much off, I like this style, just clean it up a little bit.” The feeling of touching his neck and running my fingers through his hair made me feel really…. Tingly. I wouldn’t know how else to describe it. He started talking and he said “So Lacey….. Remember when you came over to my house on my birthday?” I said yeah in such a tone as if I didn’t know where he was headed with this because I truly didn’t. He said “You left your backpack there. I forgot to tell you, I know it’s been two months since then, but the thought just kept slipping my mind, and you haven’t said anything about it, but then after what I found inside I figured I wouldn’t say anythig until you brought it up…. But you never did.” I started thinking to myself by saying shit that’s where I left it. I asked “You went through my bag…?” He said “No it was unzipped all I did was pick it up and you know what fell out.” I didn’t say anything and he continued and asked “So how long have you been dealing?” I said “Since August when school started.” He asked “Where are you getting all that weed from? I hope you’re not pushing for someone.” I said “I’m not. It’s my weed. I buy it, and charge more than what I bought it for.” He said “That’s a little fucked up.” I said “I know, but I don’t care. The preppy kids at my school don’t know how much a G costs anyway. They’ll pay whatever price I make up.” He said “Well then… Good. Finesse that shit.” I said “You’re not going to yell at me or something?” He said “No of course not. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Then he reached in his pockets and pulled out a fat stack of cash wrapped in my pink hair tie that I’ve also been looking for and said “You probably want this back.” I just sighed and blankly stared into his eyes and he said “Hey… As long as you’re not getting yourself into trouble I don’t care.” Then he said “Oh and what was the favor you wanted?” I started to laugh and said “Never mind.” He said “Nah what is it?” I said “I was just going to ask you to pretend to be my guardian or whatever for a piercing I want.” He said “Okay, that’s literally a piece of cake.” I said “But you’re probably not going to do it when I tell you the piercing that I want.” Then he said “Lacey…. If you say you want a clit ring I’m going to walk away and pretend like I never had this conversation.” I started laughing and said “No!! I want….” I was hesitant about it but continued and said “My nipples pierced…” He just blankly stared at me and said “Why?” I said “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pictures of nipple piercings and they look… Pretty…Cool.” He pondered the decision and said “Alright, I know a guy that did my tatts…. He’ll hook you up for half the price.” He started to walk away and I said “Leon….” He turned around and I said “Thank you..” He chuckled and “Yeah no problem.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

The next day Leon takes me to Downtown, LA. We live so close but never actually go here often. He took me to a tatt shop, and I was honestly nervous. I already have a tattoo that’s on my chest below my boobs, but nobody knows that except for me, and this one boy I dated when I was fifteen. He kind of took my virginity. Well he did, but as soon as he pooped my cherry he took it out and said gross, even though I literally told him I was a virgin and he was expecting it. Haven’t had any sexual contact since other than with myself. Anyways, I feel nervous maybe because of the fact that a needle is going to go through my nipple…. Twice. I told Leon “I’m nervous. Will you come back there with me?” He said “Lacey… Ummm…. Okay.” We got back there and Leon greeted the guy and called him Dave. He said “This is Lacey.” I just smiled real nervously and Dave asked “How old are you Lacey?” I look over to Leon and he gave me this reassuring nod as if it was all right to tell the truth. I said “I’m sixteen.” Leon said “Yeah so can you like cover her titts up, because she wants me to hold her hand.” I actually never asked him to hold my hand but I would appreciate it. Dave said “Yeah man sure, I’ll get what I use to cover genitals when I’m doing tattoos in that area.” He comes back with this paper towel type thing that felt like the thing dentists put around you to keep your clothes from getting ruined with your saliva and toothpaste. Leon turned around and I took my shirt off. Dave said “Wow, that’s a really nice tattoo.” I hesitated and said “Thanks…..” Dave put the cover over me and said “Leon, I’ll need you to hold it up so I can do the piercing, but this should do the job.” Leon held up the cover so Dave can pierce my titts with his left hand, and held my hand with his right, and stood behind my head. All I remember after that was clinching my teeth together and squeezing the shit out of Leon’s hand and I even bit on Leon's hand a little bit to prevent myself from screeching, but he didn't say anything or move his hand away so I'm guessing he didn't care about my impulsive decision. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes though. As we’re leaving I’m moving pretty slow because the shirt feels like it’s rubbing against my nipples in every way it can. I look down and my nipples are still rock hard and poking through my halter top. I thought to myself that maybe today was a bad day not to wear a bra, but then again wearing a bra might make this feeling worse. We get in the car and Leon says “Sooooooo….. You have a tattoo?” I said “Ummmm…. Yeah….. About that..” He cut me off and said “I don’t want to know… Actually, all I want to know is how old were you and where did you get it?” I said “I was fifteen. Chandler’s brother is a tattoo artist…….. and it’s on my chest… under my boobs.” Leon said “Alrighty then…. I actually meant what shop or whatever… But alright.” He kind of looked like he was blushing a bit and it made me smile and blush also. We get to the house and Leon said “You might want to wear a jacket by the way.” I cross my arms over my titts and started laughing a little bit. At this point I knew I could trust Leon with anything. We walk in and I head upstairs to go change right away and I put a baggy sweater on and some leggings. Then I walk back down stairs in time for dinner. Everyone was pretty much quiet for the most part so dinner wasn’t really exciting, but I’m content because of how close Leon and I have become. I made eye contact with him and he started smiling, but it was kind of like he’s still  blushing. At least that’s the way I remember it, or would like to remember it at least.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Dear Diary, It seems that I only write in you when months go by. It almost seems that’s how long it takes for me to think of something to write or have anything interesting to even write about. However, Leon has given me a much more interesting life lately so I should honestly be writing more. Anyways, Leon and I have become really great… friends. I can trust him with literally anything and it makes me so happy. I think I’m falling for him in ways that are indescriable. It kind of scares me how badly I am infatuated with him. I think I used to hide it pretty well, but now I’m not so sure, but at the same time I kind of don’t care if he did find out, but at the same time I do. It’s complicated. What if he finds out and completely rejects it and we lose the bond we have now? But what if he does find out and feels the same way and we can make our bond even stronger? I’ve also gotten more invovled in these “runs” my family consistently goes on, well I haven’t exactly been invited I just sneak. The first time was a street race that I wasn’t supposed to be at either. The second time was a bit more serious. They met at a sedcluded location and it looked like some kind of deal was going on. Leon caught me both times though, but he had his gun armed the second time and it was a bit more serious that I was there. Leon never told anyone though.That’s why I know I can trust him.

Today is Valentine’s Day and all day today at school I see these dumb ass kids with their gigantic teddy bears and boxes of chocolates. It was like parading your relationship around was the coolest fucking thing to do. When are these kids going to grow up and realize it’s not always about material items all the time? I don’t know but either way, it disgusts me. School quickly turned into a night club with kids practically dry humping each other in the courtyard all because of an overrated holiday. I personally think that if your relationship was actually solid any day should feel like Valentine’s Day. There shouldn’t be a designated day to show you love your significat other, that should literally be like every day. My point is that why on a particular day do you feel the need to spoil your loved one with materialistic items when love shouldn't be founded or grown from such things. You also shouldn’t be the person to ever expect expensive things to just be handed to you. Valentine's day really is just a day they mark up the prices on stupid, meaningless cards and candy. I’ve been often told that I’m an “old soul” I guess that’s why it’s so hard for me to relate and get along with people my age. I see the things and trends that people my age do, and I find it revolting. I relate to people who are much older than me so it’s hard to make friends, because not too many twenty-plus year olds want to hang out with a sixteen year old. I mean I can’t legally drink or get into night clubs so what would we even do? Watch movies? I guess that’s why I’ve come to find myself happier when I’m alone, but no matter how much someone tries to convince themselves and other people that they’re a “lone wolf” and independent, they need someone from time and time again. Most lone wolves act as if they never cared about anyone ever, but the truth is, they’ve lost that one person they cared about, so they figure being alone is better than to ever have to go through that feeling again. However, from my prespective I see it as not wanting to lose those people I care deeply about, so I keep my distance to prevent that from happening. It’s basically a paradox, but I can tend to be a little contradicting at times. I'm constantly in a battle with myself and inner demons. As I’m casually walking and drifting in and out of reality and being consumed by my thoughts and fantasies like usual this preppy jocky dude grabs my arm really hard and turns me around I said “What the fuck is your problem, man?” He said “I heard about you..” As I was trying to decipher what this could even possibly mean I said “Congratu-fucking-lations. Let me go.” This could really translate to anything. He probably heard a nasty rumor. He said “I know about your family.” This response startled me a bit because I don’t really even know about my own fucking family, so what could he or anyone else possibly fucking know? He said “I don’t want any problems, I just know you sell weed. I mentioned your family because everyone knows they’re up to illegal shit just nobody knows what… You obviously do so..” I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about nor do I see what that has to do with anything. Also you could've just simply asked for weed you douchebag.” He said “Look, I don’t know where else to buy weed from and I promised this college girl that I would have some, I just need someone who wouldn’t say anything. This could mess up my football scholarships and my relationship.” I pondered the decision and then realized this man’s life, his scholarships, and relationship is seriously not my problem whether he got caught or not, but then I also thought that he's the type to get caught and only get a slap on the wrist if he ratted out who gave him the weed, and I'm nobody to him so he would have no problem doing so without hesitation. While I was thinking about whether or not I actually wanted to sell to this kid he said "Look. You won't get into trouble, I have a lot to lose such as my football scholarship. I won't get caught I'll be careful and even if I do get caught I have rich parents who are friends with a DA and some pretty high-up-there people. It'll be swept under the rug and nobody would know where the weed even came from." I sighed and said “Fine…. How much you need?” He said “A ground.” I said “Excuse me? Do you mean gram?” Where the fuck did he hear ground from? He said “Whatever it’s called.” I said “Okay, buddy…. fourty bucks.” He said “Alright no problem. Do you have change? I only have a fifty.” I said "I'm a drug dealer, not a cash register." He handed me the cash, which was actually ten more dollars than I had even originally asked for, and I handed him a fat nic sack, but he clearly doesn’t know the difference. I was laughing to myself thinking How can someone be this stupid? A gram isn’t even fourty dollars, it’s not even twenty dollars, and I didn’t even give him a gram. I gave him a nic sack that's only actually worth five bucks. I should feel really bad and petty but these dumb arrogant rich kids shouldn't be smoking weed if they have no fucking clue about the terminology, prices, and size. The fact that it was too easy to scam them was hilarious and not my problem, but rather my profit. Anyone like me could just tell by simply eyeballing the nic sack that it certainly wasn't a gram nor anywhere close to fourty dollars. I know what you're thinking; I should probably be more careful and profit more reasonable prices. However, I choose my clientele selectively and appropiately. If someone is buying from me and I know they would call me out on my shit even if I said it was worth five more dollars than what it actually was I wouldn't bullshit. You'd think that would get me caught and I'd lose customers, but like I said, I go to a school that's filled with a bunch of preppy rich kids who don't even know what they're doing when it comes to buying weed, and the small handful of kids like me at this school don't run their mouth about things like this because like me, they know running your mouth can get you into trouble. A few moments later as I’m walking down the road after the last bell of the day rang I see a familiar car. Unfortunately it wasn’t Leon it was Vince. He said “Get in.” We went an opposite direction than home so I said “Where are we going?” He said “No where special. I just have to go pick up something. Thought I would pick you up on the way.” The conversation stopped for awhile. Vince pulls up in front of a house, and I had to double-look to realize that it was the house of my fucking weed dealer. I started panicking but on the outside I probably still looked sleepy and normal even though I could feel my heart pound rapidly against my chest. My dealer walks outside and starts walking up to the car and at this point I think I’m literally having a panic attack I start looking for a way to escape this situation, but that’s obviously impossible so I just brace myself for whatever the fuck is about to happen. He shakes Vince’s hand and hands Vince some weed while Vince hands him the money in one handshake. That was the transaction handshake. The dealer looks over at me and then back at Vince and he asked “How do you know Lacey?” Vince looked at me and back at the dealer and said “How the fuck do you know Lacey?” I just sink down in my seat and start thinking to myself shit here we go. The dealer answers and said “I deal to her all the time.” Vince looks at me but replies to him and said “Oh really?” I start looking out the window because eye contact with Vince is the last thing I want to encounter right now. Vince’s looks could literally kill. When he started to drive off he didn’t say anything. I made sure I looked out the window the whole ride home. Once we pulled in the driveway I immediately went for the door but Vince grabbed my hand and said “You’re not going anywhere until we talk about this.” I started thinking to myself this is why I like Leon better. He doesn’t force me to talk about anything. I said “I buy weed, who cares? Can I go now?” He said “No. Why do you buy weed?” I said “Oh gee, Vince I wonder what I could possibly be doing with weed.. Hmmmmm… Baking?? Yeah baking delicious brownies for the drama class.” He clearly didn’t appreciate the sarcasm because his face seemed to get bright red with anger. I wasn't even being sarcastic to be a bitch, sarcasm was just my instinctual defense mechanism. Vince never gets angry with me so I said “Vince… I smoke weed okay….. You do it… Everyone else in the house does it… It’s not that big of a deal.” He said “I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.” I said “Well damn Vince what about all the secrets you’re keeping from me?” The tears in my eyes started forming and his eyes settled and he sighed deeply. I didn't even mean to ask this, it just slipped off my tongue. They're not joking when they say bottling things up inside is dangerous. Vince looked at me with bewilderment, slight anger, and frustration and said “The secrets I keep from you are for your own good.” I said “Yeah and the secrets I keep from you are for my own good too.” Vince said “Lacey… I never yell at you. I never get mad at you…. So why do you feel the need to keep things from me?” I said “Vince…. You don’t even understand what goes on in my head, and I don’t even know how to even begin to explain what goes on in my head, but even if I did I couldn’t tell you, because you’re never even around long enough for me to begin.” Vince said “What are you talking about?” I said “I know we’re fucking criminals, Vince! I'm not stupid. Even kids at school know about you guys. Probably a lot more than I even fucking do. We street race, we do mysterious illicit deals in random warehouses in the middle of nowhere, god knows what else the fuck we do yet you’re jumping on my case because of some fucking weed and some secrets? Fuck you Vince.” My heart sank to the floor when I realized I just ratted myself out about sneaking around that night of the warehouse incident. Thank God I didn't throw Leon under the bus, he would never trust me again. He didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t leave the car. Part of me really wanted to leave from the car but the other part of me just felt too emotionally and physically unstable to even move. I was also a little scared to move at this point. I just wanted to lay down and cry where I was sitting. Vince said “How the hell do you know about the warehouse?” I said “Goddamnit Vince… I followed you, okay? I don’t care if you get mad about it, but I am sorry. I’m not a little girl anymore. I understand now, I’m not dumb. You can’t just keep feeding me this bullshit and expect to tell you everything when I don’t even know who you are anymore Vince… Any of you at that. What were YOU doing at sixteen, Vince? Tell me that. I bet it’s worse than anything I’ve ever fucking done, yet you want to sit here and lecture me about keeping secrets and smoking weed?” Vince said “Alright. I think it’s time.” I just gave him this puzzled ass look and he said “Go inside and wait for me in the dining room.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Vince seemed a little pissed off so I did exactly what he said and I sat and waited in the dining room. My stomach was all in knots and my heart was pounding. I had no idea what to prepare for. Vince walks in the dining room and literally everyone was with him, even Leon. Dom is the first one to speak and he said “So Lacey….. Vince told me you know about what we do. Well, at least the tip of the iceberg.” Everyone seemed so calm, yet I basically just called them out on their "top secret" bullshit. I just sat in my chair with my legs and arms crossed and I tried to avoid eye contact by looking down at my boring all black shoes. I felt like this was going to be an attack even though the approach was light. Dom grabbed my chin to advert my attention to his eyes and said “No one is mad at you. We all knew this day would come. We just want you to be prepared for all the shit it comes with instead of sneaking around. You could get yourself…. Well... Killed for doing that shit.” I got your typical family-like lecture that lasted what seemed like an hour, the only difference is that normal families don’t lecture their teenagers for sneakig around and overseeing their illicit activites. A couple weeks go by and I still stayed on the outside with the exception of some of the minor details Leon would share with me, but even those I had to beg for especially now after seeing how I spilled the beans on the warehouse incident and could've potentionally gotten him in trouble. Honestly, if I were them I would kind of be embarassed at the fact that a sixteen year old girl is calling them out on their bullshit, and they thought they were so sneaky. Or have they not really been trying to sneak, and that I've only just now started to become more observant and ballsy? Whatever the case may be a sixteen year old high school girl still called them out on their bullshit. The next morning at school a girl that I have been getting rather close with asks me if I wanted to ditch school with her and hangout. Of course I agreed to it, because why wouldn’t I? I hate school anyway, and I needed some friends, I suppose. I met this girl a few months ago in class, she transferred from a school in Sacramento. She’s kind of tall, kind of thick, but the good kind, with long brown curly hair, that matched her brown eyes. Her name is Jackie, short for Jaqueline, and she was a lot like me. She was down to earth, open-minded, and chill. The only difference was that she could make friends easily. She had the whole school in the palm of her hand within weeks. It’s not that I was shy, it’s that I don’t trust people. I still don’t fully trust her. I can hang out with people for months, years even, and still not fully trust them. I guess that’s an expected trait with the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to. It’s just how I am. I’m always mentally prepared to be stabbed in the back. It makes it much easier to deal with when it actually happens, and you don’t get as hurt. I rather have one good friend, or none at all, than a lot of friends and not know who is secretly my enemy. I expected her to have invited a lot of her other friends to come as well, but it was just me and her. I asked her where we were going and she said “Over to a friend of mine’s house. He has weed.” I said “I have weed….” She looked at me and said “I know, but….. he has…. other stuff too.” I said “Ohhh…. I didn’t know you were into anything hardcore.” She said “Xanax isn’t that hardcore.” She brushed it off as if that was such a normal thing to say. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start an argument, but pretty much anything outside of alcohol and marijuana was beyond my element. I’ve done other drugs a few times, but it never became a habit. I also thought about the severity of selling anything higher than weed. You deal with turf when it comes to that shit, and the Mexicans run this area. Which makes sense that Jackie has connects in this area, because she is Mexican. We finally get to the house, and it’s a torn down piece of shit in the middle of a pretty sketchy neighborhood. Jackie and I are the whitest people on the entire block, even though she is half Mexican. She has the accent though, so if she were to speak she would instantly blend in leaving me the sore thumb. She proceeded up to a house that had bars on the windows and some of them were boarded up. Even the screen door had bars on it. Some sketchy guy came to the door and opened it and talked through the screen door and said “Who’s she?” Jackie said “She’s my friend, it’s cool.” He didn’t say anything else after that and he just stared at me for awhile, I stared back with a pretty fierce look, mostly because I was irritated but also because I was out of my comfort zone, but on the inside I was a little nervous because I hate willingly putting myself into sketchy situations, but I'm already in too deep to escape now. I sit down on the couch next to Jackie, I look around and observe my surroundings, and find any possible exits, just in case. Just part of my nature. The coffee table was filled with cigarette ashes, food, and cocaine, various pills, weed, other random drugs, and a pistol. Next to the door, right by where I was sitting was a wooden baseball bat which is only a good weapon if you have upper body strength, which I seriously lack. Some dude who didn’t say a word was breaking up a nug of weed and watching a shitty box TV with in-and-out picture quality. Which I found pretty odd. All that drug money, but you can’t afford a better television with greater reception? Jackie got her Xanax and I figured we could leave now, so I stood up, and the guy who opened the door said “Where you going?” I said “I thought we were leaving now,” and then I looked back at Jackie, and she said “It’s okay Lacey, we can chill for a little while.” I thought about getting my phone out and calling Leon, but as soon as I reached in my backpack to grab my phone the guy said “What you doing reaching in your bag for?” I hesitated to answer, and grabbed my water bottle and said “I’m just getting my water.” I started panicking because if I get my phone out and call Leon they’ll probably think I’m calling the cops and they’ll kill me. I mean, if I were them I would assume the same thing. The guy who was watching TV started feeling up Jackie’s legs and up her skirt. She didn’t stop him and he said “Wanna bump?” She said “Sure,” and smiled flirtatiously. Then they each did a line of cocaine that was sitting on the coffee table for god knows how long. Even though anything outside the world of marijuana and alcohol was considered extreme to me, I could handle the Xanax, but now she's doing cocaine? I need to get out of this situation, but how? I started thinking to myself great I befriended a junkie whore who got me into a sketchy situation. After she did a line she said “Lacey, come to the bathroom with me.” We proceeded to walk to the bathroom and the two guys stared at us, there was more guys in a room towards the back who shut the door as we walked by. We walk into the bathroom and Jackie shuts the door and I say “Jackie we need to get the fuck out of here.” She said “No, I’m having fun.” I said “Why the fuck did you want me to come in here with you then?” She said “To take selfies with me.” I said “Are you fucking kidding me? Selfies? Sorry Jackie but I’m fucking leaving, and I don’t care if you come with me or not.” She said “You need to calm down Lacey, those guys out there don’t trust you.” I said “They don’t trust me? Bitch, I don’t trust them! They're the sketchy douche bags with shitty TV reception, and an extension cord running from the neighbor's house just so they could have power.” Jackie said “Okay, okay, okay. Just give me five more minutes to pinch some more xannies from Miguel alright. If I let him feel up on me a little bit he’ll give me more than the cost.” I rolled my eyes, and said “Fine, but after this Jackie I’m fucking done.” She said “Sorry, I’ll never take you here again.” I said “No Jackie, I’m fucking done with you, I can't stand people who act like you in sketchy situations. You're so unalert and careless, and that's dangerous. You can get yourself killed all you want but don't invite me along and put me in that situation too, risking my life.” I proceeded to walk out of the bathroom without her. She sat down next to me on the couch and gave me a dirty look, and then started flirting with Miguel. The other one not named Miguel asked me if I was thirsty, and I said “No thanks, I have my water.” He said “I don’t see you drinking it.” So I did to get him to stop talking to me and to prevent him from offering me anything and preventing me from having to say no to his offer which could end badly. Fifteen minutes later I started feeling light-headed. I immediately knew something was wrong and that they drugged me. I stood up immediately and ran for the door, but one of the guys grabs me and puts his hand over my mouth, and after that I blacked out. I faintly remember some details from fading in and out of conciousness. I remember a group of guys raping Jackie who was unconcious. I felt my pussy to see if I too had been raped. I didn’t see any blood, and I didn’t feel wet. I blacked back out, then woke up again in an alley behind a 7/11 in Koreatown, and it was pitch black outside. I didn’t have my phone, and I didn’t have my backpack. I started freaking out and crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to call the police from a payphone, or call Leon. I had blood all over my clothes and my shirt was all ripped up. I remember seeing what they did to Jackie and thought to myself that I was just gangbanged. I also came to the realization that if I wanted to call Leon from a payphone I would need money and I literally had nothing except for the torn clothes on my back. I ran to the first place I knew I would feel safe– Leon’s house. Any normal person would call the police, but I don't have a normal life, I have this one. I climb up the hill Leon’s house sits on, the side of the house slopes down to the street, and because of the effects of the drugs that I'm still mildly exerperiencing, the little hill felt steeper, and taller than it actually was. I bang on his window loud hoping he was actually there, I see the blinds go up fast and Leon pointed a gun and lowered it just as fast when he realized it was me said “Jesus Christ, Lacey,” loud enough for me to hear it through the window, then he opens the window and pushes the screen out, then gets a real good look at me and his jaw dropped, I started sobbing, panting and barely getting a word out, and he said “Holy shit.” Then he pulled me up through the window as fast as he could, I didn't have the strength to pull myself up, and we fell to the ground. I didn’t let go of him we just kind of sat there holding each other. “Lacey, baby, I need you to tell me what happened.” He said and I said “I’m still trying to remember what even happened.” He said “Lacey, baby, I need you to breathe, calm down, and think!” I tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. Leon grabbed a water bottle from the night stand next to his bed and held it nearly like a baby bottle for me to drink, because I apparentally looked too incapable to do it myself which means I must look more terrible than I feel and that wasn't a great thing to think about seeing how I can't remember what even happened to me. After I caught my breath I started to explain every detail I faintly remembered through my panting. I could see Leon’s face grow pale as I explain all of this, but then after I finished all I could recollect I see his face grow red with anger. I’ve seen Leon upset before, but I’ve never seen him this vexed. He literally punched a hole in his wall, and then pulled himself together again and kneeled back down on the ground next to me and grabbed my face gently and said “Lacey I need you to to remember where this happened. These mother fuckers aren’t going to get away with this.” I started panting and freaking out again and said “Leon I can’t. I don’t remember.” I start sobbing and panting and repeating “I can’t remember” over and over. Leon eventually held me again and didn’t say anything this time, he just held me tightly and didn’t let go. Twenty minutes went by and I calmed down a lot more than what I was, but I was still obviously shaken up, and Leon said “I just remembered something.” Then stood up and made a phone call. After the call had ended he said “A buddy of mine has a wife who’s a doctor. She does a lot of… Uh….. Off duty type of work for my buddy and his friends. They’re thankfully in the area.. Kind of, and I asked my friend to ask his wife to come check you out.” When the doctor showed up I was still in the same position on the floor and the doctor kneeled down next to me and touched my shoulder and said “Hi Lacey, I’m Tara. I need you to do a few things for me, okay?” I just looked at her through my tears and nodded my head and she continued with “Good, I need you to take your skirt and underwear off, and lay on the bed.” Leon interrupted and said “Should I leave?” I frantically looked at him and said “No, please don’t!” Tara said “Leon, can you get me a clean towel and lay it down on your bed so Lacey can lay on it?” Leon came back with the towel and said “I think I should leave Lacey, I don’t think it’d be appropiate if I.. Uh… Saw….” Tara interrupted him and said “You won’t see anything Leon, I have something to cover everything from your prespective, I’m sure she’d like you to hold her hand.” I immediately shook my head yes, because Leon was literally my safety net.  Leon said “Alright.” Then sat on the bed behind my head reched for my left hand and held it up to his mouth kissed it then rested it on his chin. Tara began her examination and said “I have wonderful news Lacey. You weren’t raped. Nothing was torn down here. Whoever drugged you definitely planned on doing so, but you fought back, and clearly won.” I asked “What does that mean? Did I kill someone!?” I know she's a professional, but she responded a little too calm to a question like that and explained “You’re not covered in enough blood for it to have been a homicide but you don’t have any wounds deep enough to have that much blood on your shirt so it’s definitely not yours. Also I’ve noticed that you have skin under your fingernails so you definitely clawed at them. Judging by the blood on your shirt and the fingernails I say you roughed them up pretty good.” I asked “But I woke up in a random alley. They must’ve put me there.” Tara said “Or you just don’t remember what happened because of the drugs. You probably got away and ran, until the drugs blacked you out again, and then passed out in the alley. You have no vaginal tears or even signs of intercourse at all. When a girl is sexually assaulted she's usually drier than the Sahara desert which causes severe vaginal tears from the force implemented by the attacker.” Leon said “So she’s…. Okay?” Tara nodded with such reassurance and said “Yes! She’s perfectly fine other than the trauma, bruises, and scratches.” Leon looked at me, and smurked a thankful smile. Tara went to her bag and pulled out some unmarked scripts and said “Here’s some medication.” She marked each bottle with a different letter and said “This one is for relaxation because of the trauma. It's like Xanax but a lot more mild." I thought to myself What are the fucking odds? Xanax is what got me into this mess in the first place. She continued and said "...And this one is for headchaes, it’s called firocet it’s for severe migraines. I recommended not taking anything until tomorrow afternoon. You wouldn’t want to mix this with whatever they drugged you with. From professional experience I’d say it was probably roofies, or some generic form, due to your loss of memory. You should be fine after a good night’s sleep.” Something about Tara was so ironic. She was soft spoken, reassuring, calm, and her vibe was peaceful. Yet, at the same time she’s basically a mob doctor. I’m not dumb. I figured it out right away when Leon said “off duty” work and I thought to myself how did someone like this who clearly wasn’t raised in this life become apart of this life? How did she end up marrying someone apart of this life? How did it all work out for her? It all seemed too weird to me, but at the same time, I was envious. She has the best of both worlds. I’m sure she has a lot of friends and connections on both sides of the law. After Tara took my urine for some various tests she proceeded to pack up. Leon said “Thanks so much Tara. Tell Jax I said hey.” She said “Of course, it’s not a problem.” Tara proceeds to leave and said “I’ll have Jax give me your number Leon so I can call you about the results of her tests.” Then Leon walks her out to her car and comes back in the room and I sit up on Leon’s bed making sure I’m still covered and I said “Can I shower?” He said “no shit,” and kind of chuckled. He said “The towel you’re sitting on is clean, if you want to use that one.” Then he walked over to his bathroom and started to turn the shower on. I slowly walked in behind him with the towel wrapped around my waist and he said “If you want it hotter just turn it to the left.” Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked out closing the door behind him. I slowly unbottoned my school shirt as I remembered what happened to Jackie, and if she was safe. In a way I felt a little guilty knowing that I got away and that she probably didn’t. Then again, even though nobody deserves what she got by any means, it was her fault for being to absent-minded by willingly putting herself in harm's way and dragging me into it. I sat down inside the shower and let the water run down on me. I was just sitting there for about twenty or so minutes before I lifted my head up. I looked up at Leon’s shower things and I picked up his body wash, put some in my hands and started rubbing it all over my body. Even though Tara said I wasn’t harmed I still felt disgusting. I didn’t even feel comfortable touching myself down there. After I got out of the shower I gradually walked out of the bathroom in my towel feeling awkward. This has been something I’ve fantasied about for a long time, but now I feel gross and I don’t even want Leon to look at me. Leon pulls out one of his jersey tank tops that he always wears with the number eight on it and said “I figured you needed something to put on after the shower. I also have some clean boxers if you’re okay with that.” I said “Yes, that’s fine.”  Leon then turns around as if he expected me to change here instead of walking back into the bathroom, so I did change in the room. I don’t know why I guess it was instinct. Despite everything I just went through I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. I only felt uncomfortable with myself at this point. I started to lay down on the bed afterwards and Leon started to make a bed for himself on the floor. I said “What are you doing?” He paused with a stunned expression on his face and said “I’m giving you the bed.” I said “Leon….. I would feel like shit if you slept on the floor in your own room.” He said “It’s really not that big of a deal.” I said “The bed is huge. Just sleep next to me.” He said “Lacey, I’m not sleeping with you.” “I said next to me not with me.” Leon just sighed heavily and then climbed up in bed next to me as if he knew he wanted to sleep there all along. Who would sleep on the hardwood floor of their own room when there’s only one tiny girl in their bed? There’s plenty of room. Moments later I was dead alseep. A few hours must have went by and I woke up to Leon shaking me out of a bad dream and the sun was peaking through the windows. I must have been tossing franctically because of the dream. I have had severe night terrors like that before. Vince has told me about them. Leon said “Are you okay?” I sat there in silence for a minute and said “I don’t think it was a dream, I think I was remembering stuff that actually happened. I saw the house. I remember what the house looked like. It was light blue, very torn down, it had bars on all the windows, and there was some word on the side in black spray paint. Not like grafitti but like a random ass word.” He said “If you saw it in person would you be able to point it out?” I shook my head and added “We would have to start where we did though so I can remember my steps exactly.” Leon said “We?” I said “Me and this girl Jackie. She’s the one who brought me there. We obviously ditched school. We walked there from the back of the school by the football field. It was like only a couple blocks away.” Leon jumped out of bed immediately and grabbed his keys and said “Lets go.” I didn’t hesitate and I don’t know why. In the car Leon mentioned something I already knew and said "I'm pretty sure that area is Mexican ran. Maybe Hector will know." I said "Don't get anybody else involved." He said "You're right." We started to drive past my school as the sun was just peaking up over the horizon. He stopped at a stop sign as we approached the end of the football field and said “Where do I go from here?” I said “Make a left, at the end that block make a right and go straight.” Putting myself in the same exact setting and retracing my steps has actually helped me remember a ton. As Leon approached the last direction, my heart sank in my stomach. I saw the house and an eerie feeling like I just knew that was it. A flash back came to mind. I saw myself running away from the house after squeezing through the side of the bars on one of the back windows. It was remembered from a first-person presepective, but I saw the memory as if it were a movie scene. Leon stopped in front of the house next door to the blue house and looked over at me and said “Is that the one?” I just slowly shook my head yes all while staring at the house with fear. He said “Are you ready to do this?” I look over at him with slight panic and said “Do what?” He said “Investigate.” We started to walk around towards the back of the hosue and I was holding on to his arm because I felt very weak in the knees when Leon noticed something I did at the same time. Leon reached for it and said “You must’ve squeezed through these bars. This is a torn piece of your shirt.” I shook my head and said “Yeah, I remember that.” The window was still open, and Leon squeezed his hand through the side of the bars and moved the curtain out of the way to look through. No one was in the room, but I saw my backpack and said “Shit.” Leon said “Don’t worry. We’ll get it back.” I looked over at him slightly confused at his reassurance as if he could simply walk in there with no problems and retrieve it. Leon and I both heard something from inside the house and Leon quickly reached his hand out of the window and said “Go back to the car and start it, and wait there.” I did exactly that and waited anxiously. I saw Leon circle back around to the front, open the screen door and kick the other door in. My heart started racing I was so scared. I heard three gun shots and I started to have a panic attack. Seconds later I see Leon run out with my backpack and jump into the already started car and drive off immediately. I didn’t even ask questions because I already knew. This was a side of Leon I’ve never seen before and it was a side of him I didn’t even think he could have. Vince, certainly, but not Leon. As we approached his house again he stopped in the driveway and said “Everything’s okay now.” I asked him “Was there a girl in there?” He said “No. I would’ve saved her.” I said “What about the cops?” Leon looked at me with an expression on his face as if he really wanted to say Are you serious? However, he said “With all the drugs around that house, the cops will just count the bodies and their blessings and close the case as a gang related drug crime. No ties back to you or me.” I wasn’t even freaking out and that’s what scared me. The fact that this feels like something I wanted concerns me and the fact that I feel so relieved concerns me even more. I feel like if Leon didn’t do it I honestly think that I eventually would’ve and that's truly the most concerning feeling about all of this. Leon walked me back into the house and picked up his phone and made a call. I obviously couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Leon said “Hey, it’s me…… I need a favor…… 616 14th ave….. I need you to make it look more gangster and Latin King related….” A few moments later I said “Who was that?” Leon told me everything and at this point after what just occurred I feel like he wouldn’t even hesitate to answer or try to beat around the bush and I was right. He said “A guy named Saul. He’s from New Mexico, that’s where I met him. He often comes to this area, or has guys who work for him in this area. Long story short…. He’s a lawyer with a lot dirty connections. He’s basically a lawyer to keep his guys and connections out of the cage.” I asked him “Why did you call him? I thought you said the killings weren’t going to lead back to us.” He said “I’m just making sure, Lacey.” The whole time Leon spoke in a monotone, depressed like voice. I went over and sat next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me. I asked “How many people have you killed before Leon?” He unwrapped his arm around me and sighed. He admitted “Just a few…….” I could see the tears build up in his eyes as he sighed as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest. I didn’t even think differently of him though, and I think that scared me a bit. I was still just as infatuated with him as I was when I didn’t know anything about him at all. I kissed him on the cheek as tears came down my face and I whispered “I’m sorry I got you into this.” He looked me in the eyes and “Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry that this even happened to you in the first place.” He kissed me on the forehead and our faces were so close together and I could feel the vibe that both of us wnated to kiss but neither of us were ballsy enough to make that move. Then all of the sudden a car screeched as it rolled up in the driveway. We both jumped up when we realized it was Vince. He ran towards the front door and Leon made me get under the bed and he shoved my clothes under there too. I had no time to ask why I had to hide. It wasn’t like we actually hooked up or anything, so there was honestly really nothing to hide from Vince. However, like I mentioned before, Vince is a react first, ask questions later, kind of guy. If he saw me in Leon's bedroom wearing his clothes he would've automatically assumed and started beating up Leon before any explanation could even be expressed. Vince came charging into Leon’s room and he seemed out of breath. He asked “Have you heard from Lacey?” Leon asked why and Vince responded very frustrated and said “Just answer the fucking question.” Leon said “No… Now tell me why.” Vince sighed with disbelief and said "I got a call from Hector last night. He said he saw Lacey walking around disoriented by a 7/11 in Koreatown. That's like only two blocks from here. I went there and couldn't see her anywhere. She was covered in bruises and blood and fucked out of her mind. I went by the school today also and she isn’t there.“ Leon said "What do we do?” Vince said “I’m going to go look for her. Maybe Tran picked her up as revenge. I’m going to kill that chink bastard.” Leon said “You need to think rationally.” Vince said “The only rational thing to do if Tran hurt, or even touched my sister, would be to kill him.” Leon said “But what if he didn’t? You can’t just run up in the Asian side of town with an accusation like that without starting a war that we made ammends to keep from happening between us and them.” Vince said “If he hurt or touched Lacey he’s going to get a lot more than a fucking war. I'm going to kill him and his whole goddamn family if he even touched the only thing in the world that I care about.” Then Vince stormed out and slammed the front door. I peaked my head out from under the bed and said “Why did you lie to him?” Leon shook his head and said “That's a dumb question. Because Vince doesn’t think rationally… If he knew what happened he would’ve done what I just did but a lot sloppier and he wouldn’t have been smart about it. Plus he doesn’t have Saul as a connection. Plus no time would have even existed to explain any of it to him anyway. He would've saw me and you and immediately assumed that we fucked.” So what if he storms through and kills whoever Tran is instead? Leon said “I’m going to call him in 20 minutes and tell him you called me from a payphone.” Twenty minutes go by and Leon makes that phone call and puts it on speaker. Vince said “A payphone from where?” Leon said “7/11 in Koreatown. I just picked her up. Come back to the house, she’s freaking out and she wants you.” I said “I’m in your clothes, do you really expect me to put those back on?” I said pointing to the dirty, blood covered clothes under the bed. He said “No, I’ll tell him I gave a change of clothes, upon your request.” Vince comes charging in just as he did before but instead of frustration he seemed relieved. Then he was frustrated again as he held me and said “What the fuck happened!? Why didn’t you call me? Why did you call Leon? Why didn’t you call me last night? And why are you in Leon’s clothes? And where were you? I checked the 7/11.” I said “I asked Leon for a change of clothes I didn’t want to be in those anymore.” Pointing to the dirty clothes I pulled back out from under the bed to make this more convincing and I continued with "And I was passed out in the back alley." Vince said “Okay.. Now tell me what the fuck happened.” I told him the lie Leon and I went over as we were waiting for him to get back to the house. I said “I ditched school yesterday with some girl I didn’t really know her. I just have a class with her and she asked if I wanted to come along so I did. We hung out all day at Joe’s Creek……. Later that night when we we’re going to walk home we got jumped…. I didn’t know where I was, and I don’t know where she went, I don’t know where she lives. I don't really know anything about her at all to be honest.” Vince looked like he was digesting the story as he was biting his thumbnail and he just stood me up and hugged me again. He said “Let’s go home.” I looked at Leon because I didn’t want to leave him, and he said “I’ll  be over later for dinner.” Vince turned around and hugged him too and said “Thanks for everything you do for my sister, the tutoring and well, everything.” He said “Of course man.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

A couple of days go by and I’ve been a hermit inside my bedroom. The only person who periodically came by to check on me was Leon. Today he knocked on my door and had a gigantic teddy bear in his hands and said “I figured you’d like this.” I laughed and hugged the big teddy bear. Leon sat down at the foot of my bed and said “You know you have to come out of this room eventually.” I said “I know…..” Leon then asked “How are you holding up?” I said “Fine…. How are you holding up?” He smirked and said “I’m fine.” I asked “Do you think Vince believes my story?” Leon said “Well he hasn’t shot up the neighborhood around your school, has he?” I laughed and said “So I guess that’s a yes?” Leon laughed and said “Honestly Lacey, I don’t know. I think he’s just glad you’re okay.” I just smiled and Leon got up, smiled back and walked away. A few moments later I walked down stairs for the first time in a few days and Vince grabs me and hugs me and said “Hey kiddo.” I smiled at him and he said “Your face healed up nicely,” and kind of chuckled and addded a joke to it and said "Well, not that it was any good before." I playfully punched him in the stomach and laughed. Then he asked “Were you scared?” I looked down and shamefully shook my head yes. He brushed my hair behind my ears and said “Well you’re safe now, kiddo.” Later that night the family was suiting up for another “run” and I started to walk back up to my room, and Vince said “Hey Lacey….” I turn around expecting him to finish his sentence. He looks at Dom and Dom shakes his head signaling 'yes’ and Vince turns back around and said “Want to come along?” My heart sank, because of course I wanted to but was I ready for this? Leon looked up at me and smiled. I said “Yes.” Vince said “Well… Suit up.” I said “I don't know what that means.." Vince said “I was joking. You can come but I’m not giving you a gun…. Yet.” As we were walking out the door Leon put his arm around me and playfully said “Congrats. Welcome to the big leagues.” As we were driving down a similar road much like the one from the night of the warehouse incident we pull off to a different secluded warehouse. As we step inside they all start pulling white tarps off of these street racing cars. They were all black and incognito. Definitely the exact opposite of the flashy, colorful street racing cars with tricked out decal that they’re normally in. However, there was a green luminescent light from under the vehicles. I wasn't shocked. There's not way there wasn't at least one thing tricked out about the cars other than the cars themselves. Vince said “Lacey, you’re riding with Leon.” Leon put his arm around me and walked me over to his car. There were four cars in total. Letty and Jesse drove their own and Vince rode with Dom. Leon had his own too, and inside the car was another police scanner just like the one in his normal car. He looked over at me and said “Are you ready?” I said “For what exactly?” He said “Don’t worry, all we have to do is sit, well and drive too. It’ll be okay. We don’t have much to do unless an incident occurs.” Then he reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. The awkward tension began to rise as he didn’t exactly let go of my hand. Believe me, I enjoyed it but at the same time I was nervous. I’m the one who casually broke the connection of our hands and then he put his hand on the stick, put it into gear, and began to drive behind following the rest. He turns the police scanner on and after about twenty minutes of observing police whereabouts he picked up the walkie-talkie and said “No cops within five miles, we’re good.” Then he switched gears and began to drive faster. He glanced over at me and said “You’re being awfully quiet.” I said “I’m just soaking it all in.” He chuckled and said “Well, is it everything you thought it would be?” I said “No, not really. Thought it would be more… exciting.” Leon said “Well, it’s really only exciting for Vince, Dom, and Letty. Jesse and I are really just extras in case anything goes wrong.” I asked “How come Mia never comes with you guys?” He said “Mia doesn’t approve, plus she looks after you. These heists are fairly new, but when you were younger they were still doing shit like this. Someone needed to stay with you. She’ll turn her head and look the other way, and lie for us if police ever got involved, but she doesn’t want to be apart of it anymore than that. Dom doesn’t blame her either.” Meanwhile I can see the truck drive left to right on the road with screeching tires and loud honks. I asked nervously trying to ignore whatever may be going on inside the truck “So why did I get invited to come along?” Leon sighed and said “Do you want the truth?” I said “Well, yeah.” He said “Because everyone knows you’re Vince’s little sister. Everyone knows how the Scaletta brain works, and you’ve already proven our theory... Which is you're not so different from Vince after all.” I said “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said “That if we don’t properly train you and take you along, that you’re going to be hard-headed and follow us anyway. Rather have you trained and prepared for any circumstance, than absent-mindedly trying to do this shit on your own.” He looked over at me and “You’re very brave though, I’ll give you that. I admire that, actually.” I just kind of smirked. He said “Now, stop being careless, and start being smart, like I know you are. I’m the one who convinced Vince to let you come along tonight. I said you needed it, and Dom actually agreed.” During that conversation is when the whole heist was going down. I think Leon tried to distract me in a way, but the walkie-talkie was going off and I can hear Vince say “I’m going in.” The tires and motion of the truck were even more sparatic than before. I heard one gun shot, and a lot of tire screeching. Then about thirty minutes later we all pull over and get out of the cars, I see Vince hop out of the semi-truck. They all move to the back of the truck and load the cars up with boxes and boxes of what seems to be DVD players, but the boxes obviously do not contain DVD players. I start to walk away while they’re distracted by the boxes to look inside the truck. I see there is no more windshield and the driver on the floor of the truck. I tried to analyze the body as much as I could in pitch darkness to see if there was any blood, but Vince came up behind me and said “It was tranq bullet. Now come on.” I got back into the car with Leon and he said “That’s it.” I said “That’s it? What do we do with the boxes?” He said “Take what’s in them out at the garage, and burn the boxes.” I kept repeating “That’s it? Really? Like that’s it?” I said it in a manner of disappointment, I expected it to be more of a top-notch heist, but it didn’t even feel criminal it was so quick and they made it seem really easy. Leon said “Trust me Lacey, sometimes the operation gets really dirty, tonight was just an easy night.” I said “Why tranq bullets?” Leon said “We’re not murderers!” Then there was a pause because Leon remembered who he was talking to and said “Unless, we have to be. Plus, it keeps the FBI away.” I said “For how long though? If we keep doing it over and over, they’re bound to get involved eventually right? I mean they’re organized and pre-meditated heists, whether there’s dead bodies or not.” Leon looked at me as if he knew I was right but he didn’t want to admit it. The same way Vince looked. He said “I know… Nobody listens to me though. I’ve tried telling them this but Dom is the shot caller and Vince will back him up no matter what, and the rest of us just follow to get a cut, but also to protect them if anything goes down.” I said “So, you’re saying the FBI is bound to get involved eventually? Isn’t that dangerous?” He said “Lacey this lifestyle is dangerous regardless, but yes. However, Dom is smart, he knows his way around things,  he would never put himself in a position to where he spends years in prison again. He spent two years for that assault charge and always says he’ll die before he goes back. We'll just move on to a new kind of heist just like before and leave law enforcement on dead trails.” It was quiet for a moment and then I said "If Dom says that he'll die before he goes back, maybe it's 'cause he's not afraid to die." Leon looked at me in complete shock and realized the point I was trying to make, which was, Dom isn't afraid to die, which just leaves them behind to get into the trouble. Leon didn't say anything but he sighed a few times as if what I said was lingering in circles around his mind. We got to the garage and they started unloading boxes as I watched from the sidelines. The boxes contained so much cash I couldn't believe it. Some of the boxes were cash that hasn't even been cut yet. This is some serious shit. Some of the boxes contained so much drugs. I never thought I would ever see this amount of drugs in my lifetime, and yet here I am seeing it all at once just pile out of boxes. I watched my family burn the drugs and boxes behind the garage and stuff the money into duffle bags and then we drove home. It was simple. A little too simple.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

A couple of days go by, and things began to fall back in routine. I’ve been going to school, doing what I need to do and going home, I haven’t seen Jackie at all, but is it bad that I don’t care? I mean, of course apart of me does because we basically went through the same thing, even though I apparently had a chance to fight back and she didn’t. She could be dead, but the other half of me doesn’t even care because it’s her fault. She got herself into that mess and nearly dragged me into it as well. I even tried pulling her out of it and she wanted to stay for the sake of scoring more drugs. I don't feel sorry for people like that. I received a text from Leon telling me he’s out in the front of the school. I found it very odd because he never picks me up from the front of school. As I was getting into his car I noticed people staring at me, or maybe it was just Leon’s car. After all, it is an expensive, bright yellow Nissan Skyline GT-R imported from Europe with decal all over it. Still made me uncomfortable though to have the feeling of all eyes on me. I got in the car and asked him why he’s picking me up from the front. He said “I was already parked out here, might as well. Your school called me today to set up a conference.” I panicked said “A conference for what, and why did they call you?” He said “I’m the only one they got ahold of. I only answered because I thought it was you, I reocgnized the school number. Anyways, they wanted a conference because there’s apparently rumors about you going around at school… And because you've been skipping a lot.” I said “What?? What are the rumors?” He said “Petty teenage bullshit. How you probably hired someone to scare all your teachers into giving you good grades………And hired those same people to kill Jackie.” I screamed “What?” Leon said “Don’t  worry Lacey, I worked it all out. I told them you didn’t even know a Jackie, and that the whole grade thing just sounds stupid and petty.” I said “No, I mean Jackie is actually dead?” Leon said “I’m having that Saul I told you about ask one of his accomplices to look into it. So, I don’t know yet, and it’s not your fault so don’t even begin to feel that way. She got you into that mess. If she’s alive she’s the one who should be feeling bad for you. Especially if she's alive, it's not like she's tried reaching out and making sure you were okay. People like that only care about themselves; hence the reason you were even that deep into that situation.” I knew what he was saying was true, and he practically took the words out of my mouth, but I still couldn't help but think about her and worry a little bit. After a short pause he added "And Tara called.... You don't have any diseases." I said "There's always a bright side."  After a few more momets of silence, Leon asked “Do you want to come over to my place? Maybe smoke a little bit, and chill? You seem stressed out.” I said “Yeah, sure.” After we smoked Leon confessed some of his past to me. He said “I started drifting when I was fourteen. I’ve been to a lot of places, and met a lot of people. I’ve never felt as comfortable around anyone as I do with you…..and your family.” I said “Our family.” He chuckled and said “Of course.” I asked “What made you stay with us?” He said “Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I was just tired of running. Whether it be that I was running from something or running to find something, I was just tired of it. However, I am sure glad that I did stay.” I asked “Where all have you been?” He said “A lot of places, I’ve been to Chicago, I did this whole restaurant bus boy job, but at the end of the day, I worked for this guy in the porn industry.” I shot him this look and he said “No, I’ve never participated in the porn industry… I just did some errands for him. Running guns and money and being pretty much a taxi driver for his porn whores. I also stayed in New Orleans for awhile. I went by the name Sean Riley. I was boosting cars and working a chop shop, much like I do now. I’ve also been to New Mexico. Met this kid named Jesse and I sold meth for him. He’s how I met Saul, and gained him as a connection. Those aren’t the only places I’ve been to, but definitely the only ones I’m willing talk about.” I said “How did you meet the doctor’s husband?” He said “Oh, Jax? I did a couple of jobs for him and his crew. They’re from a town called Charming, it’s up north closer to the Nevada border. Very ironic name though considering what goes on in that town.” We went silent for a little bit and he laid on the bed next to me and said “So, tell me more about you..” I laughed but he said “I’m serious. It’s so obvious that you hold a lot of shit in. I think after all we’ve been through together and all I’ve told you so far, you should be able to open up at least a little bit.” I didn't say anything and he said "No pressure, though." I said “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything like that. I just don’t know how to share what’s on my mind, I don’t know where to begin.” He said “Start with what bothers you the most. Or even what excites you the most.” I said “My insecurities. My constant feeling of never being good enough.” He said “Well, I can tell you right now, that you are more than good enough. You are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re intelligent, and good looking. There’s no reason for you to be insecure.” I smiled at him and began to tear up a little. Then he said "Now what excites you the most?" I said "Adventure." He said "What do you consider adventurous?" I said "Rollercoasters, traveling, or pretty much anything that comes with a good story like exploring abandoned homes and hospitals and shit. Oh and aliens. I love aliens." He just smiled really big at me and said "You're the kind of girl to create good times and a story no matter what the scenario is." I thought to myself that he knows me a lot better than I know me. It felt great to be honest. I continued with more things that I like because I'm so secure with my vulnerabilities and what I am on the inside. I never really talk about these things nor do I really ever have anyone as an outlet to express what I like anyway. I said "I like to read, write, draw, paint, and make shit." He said "So you love art?" I said "More than anything. You can express whatever you want without having to talk about it. Or in art such as writing, you can make up anything, and live in a different world for awhile. Or be a completely different person." He said "I knew you were artsy. You just have that vibe. That old-soul kind of vibe. It's easy to see that you see the world in a different perspective. It's even easier to see that the world is your biggest enemy. Your way of thinking, is other-worldly. It expands far beyond this tiny little snow globe of a planet. You're a down to Mars kind of girl." I never realized he noticed me enough to even have that description of me. I started tearing up but in a joyous way. It felt great knowing that someone can see that side of me. I rested my head down on his chest and he held me. As I closed my eyes and began drifting to sleep I began to settle my focus on nothing but his heart beat. Hearing it flutter nervously made me so happy and content with the moment. After nearly a couple hours, we are jolted awake by a phone call. Leon said “It’s Vince.” I didn’t know if that was like a warning to be quiet or just a heads up of who was calling, but I stayed quiet anyway. Besides if Vince was worried about me, he’d call me, not Leon, especially considering he’s unaware just how much time we actually do spend together. So I knew there was nothing to panic about. Leon was quiet pretty much throughout the entire course of the phone call, and I can hear Vince talking, he sounded frustrated but not angry, but that's literally Vince's daily emotion so it wasn't alarming. Leon ends the conversation with a heavy sigh and says “I’ll be right there.” I said “What was all that about?” He said “Some asshole at the garage is trying to pick a fight with Vince over one of the cars him and I worked on. He’s complaining about the brakes which I worked on by myself. I know damn well there isn’t a thing wrong with them, nobody has ever came back with complaints. He’s just trying to make some money by getting a bullshit refund, and Vince knows that’s what he’s trying to do. I mean we worked on the car a month ago, if there was truly something wrong with the brakes he would've came back a long time ago. But now I have to go save the day so Vince doesn’t end up in jail….. Again.” I said “Can I come?” He said “Duh, I wouldn’t leave you at this house alone anyway. I don’t trust or even like my roommates, and I especially don’t like the way they look at you. I can’t wait to move back in with you guys after that room is finished.” I was honestly totally unaware his roommates ever even stared at me. I used to be so observant with the world around me, and ever since Leon and I have become closer, the only thing my world consists of now is him. I don’t know what love is but I can tell you that seeing the sparkle in his eyes, and the brightness of his smile makes my heart melt. The way he talks to me and protects me and shows an interest in me and what I’m thinking, and how everything about him from the way he thinks, the way he perceives the world, the way he looks at me, how it makes me feel like the world could end today and I’d be absolutely content with that simply because I would be by his side when it did. If that’s not love then I don’t think I’ll ever know love. Once we arrive to the garage, Leon immediately walks over to the asshole customer. Vince notices that I step out of Leon’s car and he hesitantly walks over to me as if he was conflicted about whether he should confront me or stay by Leon’s side just in case anything gets ugly between him and the customer. However, he walks over to me anyway and he said “What were you doing with Leon?” I said “Tutoring.” He said “Oh really? Your teacher called yesterday and said you’re doing excellent and making A’s in the class now.” I said in a condenscending tone “Yeah, thanks to Leon.” Vince gave me this look as if he knew there was way more to this story than what was being said, but the look also expressed that he didn’t want to believe that there was and that he needed proof to make such accusations. So he said “You hungry?” I said “Yeah, why?” He said “What do you mean why? I’m obviously going to feed you, that’s why.” I said “Where we going? That's what I was getting at.” He said “I’m grilling when we get home.” Vince starts to walk away then turns back around and says “Can you stick around here for a bit? I’ll drive you home.” I was hesitant to answer but obviously couldn’t say no nor did I really even want to because I do love spending time with my brother, but I also loved spending time with Leon. Obviously two very different vibes, and I was really feeling Leon’s vibes more. I also figured that Vince just wants me to stick around so he can poke at this Leon thing and try to get more answers from me. After Leon deals with the customer the customer walks into the front of the shop where me and Vince are now, and starts yelling and says “I’m never coming here again! Go fuck yourself.” Then proceeds to storm off outside and Vince grabs the baseball bat under the counter and Leon tries to stop Vince but once Vince makes up his mind there’s no changing it, no matter who you are. Vince walks up to the guy's car and smashes the window then opens the door and drags the guy out, slams him on the ground, and nearly hit him too, but Leon tackled Vince. With Leon still holding him back, Vince yells “Good, stay the fuck away from here you fat fuck! And you’re not getting a refund.” The fat guy said “I’m calling the fucking cops.” Vince said “Fantastic, tell them about the coke inside your fucking car as well.” The fat guy puts his phone down and gets back in his car and speeds off. I guess his cocaine was more important than a rip-off scam to get money. Leon shoves Vince and said “What the fuck is your problem?” Vince said “I have no problems now. Fat guy's gone.” We all walk back into the shop and Leon says “Come on Lacey.” Vince immediately says “She’s closing the shop with me.” Leon looks at me and back at him and said “Oh, alright….” Then he looks at me smiles a bit and walks off. I’m not too worried about it, because I’ll see him tonight at dinner when we get home. Now the shop is empty, and it’s just me and Vince. He asks “Are you mad at me?” I give him this very puzzled look and said “No….. Why the hell would I be mad at you?” He said “I don’t know, you just don’t talk to me anymore.” I said “You’re the one who doesn’t talk to me anymore. You used to tell me stories all the time about stuff that never really made sense until now, but that storytime would be the highlight of my day. I couldn’t wait for you to come home and tell me those stories.” He laughed and said “Yeah….. Things are just…. Different now.” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Back in the day when we would race it wasn’t even to make a living or a profit. It was just for fun. We’d even race each other. When Dom and I were around fifteen years old, we put together this group, and even Letty was apart of it, and we’d just race for the fuck of it. Some people go to the clubs on Friday nights, but we’d go racing. It was just our thing. But things got more complicated than that after we ran into Johny Tran for the very first time when I was like twenty or so. I didn’t even know there was such thing as a "race territory,” and of course Dom being who he is, that’s where it all began. Racing to make a profit, to keep territory, and remain the powerball of the streets instead of racing just because it was fun. Things got even more out of hand shortly after that when Dom’s dad died. Dom created Race Wars, and the first monthly illegal street race was born three weeks later. Then a week after that first street race Dom went to prison for two years, which left me in charge of our newly built empire. Things got really ugly really fast. I had to do a lot of shit that still haunts me, but I had to do it.“ I just sit quietly waiting for more. Vince says "Do you know why I’m telling you all of this?” I said “No, not really, but I don’t mind.” He laughed a little bit and said “Yeah, I know you don’t, but the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want you to have the opprotunities I didn’t even try to seek when I was your age. I see everything in you that I never had. You have potential, for both worlds honestly, my world, and the real world. I never really realized how much of a fuck up I was until even the teachers gave up on me. Every day I’d skip class. When I did show up to class it was against my own will because I got caught skipping, but I wouldn’t do any work. I just wanted to sleep. When the teacher wouldn’t let me sleep I’d ask for a bathroom pass and walk around the halls with the pass in my hand for like thirty minutes and walk back into class when there was like fifteen minutes left.” He laughed and continued with “Your principal really hated me. I guess that’s why he has it out for you too. It got to the point where the teachers wouldn’t even hand me an assignment, because they knew it would just be a waste of paper and when I would ask to go to the bathroom they’d tell me to just grab my stuff and go, because they knew exactly what I was going to do.” He paused for a moment and continued with “You’re super smart, I want you to be successful, the legal way. I’m not even asking you to be a doctor or a lawyer, I just want you to have a better life. However, seeing how this life is all you know considering you were raised in it, I wouldn’t expect you to just turn your back on it. You have a loyalty mentality like me. I just want you to have at least the opprotunity to have something better. To have that opprotunity to make a choice. I didn't have that choice. It was this life or nothing. It’s too late for me, but it’s not too late for you. I want to see you be the first Scaletta to walk across that stage and receive a high school diploma. I left a shitty reputation behind in that school, and they’re expecting you to do the same but I want you to prove those fuckers wrong.” I asked him what he did in school when he would skip and the first thing he said changed the subject entirely and it was “I smoked weed on the same corner where you sell it.” Then he shot me this look and I was shocked, and he said “Yeah, I know what you’re doing. I have connections too.” He stood up and said “I’m not upset with you, but I just want you to know selling weed and simply smoking it are two very different things, and two very different charges to catch. I want you to be careful, because if I don’t even go to your school or talk to the high school kids you sell it to, and still can find out what you’re doing, so can they.” Then he walked over to me and kissed my on the top of my head and said “Lets go home, I’m starving.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

As we got home Mia had already made dinner because “we were taking too long.” So Vince and I sat down to plates that were already made. Later after dinner I was sitting on the back porch reflecting on the heart to heart Vince and I just had. It was the first one in ages. Leon shortly joins me on the back porch knowing that’s where I like to sit after dinner. He came up and sat next to me on the steps and said “So what did you and Vince do after I left? You guys took awhile.” I said “We had a heart to heart kind of moment. I think there’s been a lot on his mind lately. He talked about a lot of stuff. Mostly just how he wants me to have a better life than him and how he doesn’t exactly want me to be apart of the street racing world. He admitted on the way home that’s one of the reasons he was so hesistant about everything – teaching me to drive, and telling me about what it is you guys do. He had to tell me after I pretty much found out on my own. He knew he couldn’t keep it from me anymore.” Leon just sighed and said “Damn. That’s good though. You guys need more heart to hearts.” I asked “Why do you say that?” He said “Lacey, you’re literally the only reason Vince wakes up in the morning. He used to be so careless until one night he got jumped really badly. Didn’t come home for weeks because he didn’t want you to see him that way. He had to go to the hospital and everything. Ever since then he’s taken a lot more precautions than he normally would, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true. It’s because he doesn’t want to put you through…. Losing him. Not like that. I honestly truly believe if it weren’t for you, Vince wouldn’t be here anymore. He’s very depressed, he just hides it from you, and covers it up with anger towards the rest of the world.” My heart sank to the floor after Leon told me this, I literally never knew any of this, and Vince carries both of our burdens, he’s supposed to be the strong Scaletta. I couldn’t hold back the tears this time and I let them all out. Leon pulled me in and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped both his arms around me and kissed my head which is something he seem to be doing a lot lately, but I don’t mind and he said “Everything’s going to be okay though. I promise.” The way he made promises to me and the way he always made them sound so reassuring was alluring. I still was sobbing pretty badly and Leon grabbed my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs and smiled and said “I didn’t mean to upset you, Lacey. I’m really sorry.” Then he kissed me on the nose. I was in a whirlwind of emotions at this point, and honestly was not thinking at all, and I leaned in and kissed Leon… On the lips. It lasted a lot longer than I thought it would and some tongue even slipped from both of us. My whole body was tingling, but then abruptly Leon leans back and slowly licks his lips and says “I’m sorry Lacey, but….” I cut him off because I didn’t even want to finish hearing what he had to say, now I was embarrassed. I said “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Then I got up and ran off to my bedroom. I started balling my eyes out, because of what Leon told me and now because I ruined everything between Him and I. Should’ve just let him make the first move, but in all honesty it probably would’ve never happened. I was so blinded by my feelings that I didn’t think of this in terms of reality. I’m sixteen, he’s twenty. He would’ve never made the first move. I should’ve known he’d push away if I did. I literally just want to crawl in bed and stay here for the rest of my life.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

Two weeks go by and Leon and I haven’t really talked to one another besides the casual smile when we walk pass each other. He would smile first attempting to initiate that he isn't mad at me or whatever, but I'm mad at myself, and I figured he only did it to make feel better about the humiliation I brought upon myself. Today, I thought I was alone in the house, but of course Leon was the only other person there. We awkwardly met in the kitchen, he was already in there making food, so I tried to turn away as quickly as possible hoping he didn’t notice my attempt to abruptly exist. However, as I was turning around he said “Lacey!” I turned back around and didn’t say anything and just looked at him all while attempting to hide the hurt I felt inside. He said “You know you don’t have to avoid me..?” I said “I fucked up, and embarassed the hell out of myself, and I can’t take that back. What do you expect?” He said “You didn’t even embarrass yourself.” I said “I obviously did, just save it.” He got a little bit more of a stricter tone and said “You didn’t.” We both paused for a breif moment and he walked closer to me and said in a more quiet tone “I liked the kiss.” I just looked up at him with disbelief to what he just said, because here I am thinking that I totally ruined everything, and that he won’t even want to talk to me anymore. Before I could even say anything though Leon continued and said “It’s just that…. You’re Vince’s little sister….. And you’re….. Sixteen.”  I said “Who cares how old I am? You’re only twenty. That’s a four year difference, it’s not even a big deal. It’s not like you’re fifty-something.” Leon’s facial expression indicated that he agreed with me, and that he understands where I am coming from but his words contradict his expression as he says “But the state of California law says–” I cut him off and said in a very condenscending, sarcastic tone “Ohhhhhhhh, so we follow the law now?” Then Leon admitted “Lacey, I don’t give a shit about the law to be honest, and I know that four years isn’t a big deal… It’s just…” I said “It’s just what then? You care about what people are going to say?” He said “No, but yes. I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea. They don’t know me or you, but they won’t care. They’ll just assume that I’m some pervert who took advantage of you.” I said “But you didn’t take–” He cut me off this time and said “I know I didn’t take advantage of you. You’re the one who kissed me, but like I said nobody is going to care, because in society’s eyes even four years is a "big fucking deal” considering you’re not eighteen.“ I can't even argue and have to agree, because it’s true. So many people would look down on us simply because of the slight age difference. I said "I know…. It’s fucking stupid though. If I was eighteen and you were fourty-two nobody would care, but god forbid you’re literally twenty and I’m sixteen……” Leon just rested his hand on my shoulder because he knew I was getting flustered and frustrated. He said “I don’t care about people and their opinions, but at the same time, I don’t want to be deemed as a pedophile, but also you’re Vince’s little sister.” I said “I hate being titled as Vince’s little sister. I am my own person, and I do not live in his fucking shadow. I make my own decisions, and I’ve paved my own path.” He said “Of course, Lacey. I know that. I meant that Vince would literallly fucking kill me becuase of the fact that you are his little sister.” I said “Well, who said we have to tell anybody?” He just looked up at me with that same facial expression as before signaling that he agrees but as if he can’t agree. He said “Lacey, I just think we should wait on it…” I said “For how long?” He said “Until…… You’re 18….” I just said “Yeah, great. So am I just supposed to sit back and watch girls throw themselves at you for two years? Do you really think after that I’ll feel the same in two years, as if all the whoring around you’re going to do just disappears because I turn eighteen and we can live "happily ever after?”“ I began to storm off but he grabbed my arm and said "But, we don’t have to act like strangers Lacey.” I said “What do you expect Leon? I can’t change the way I feel about you, and quite frankly I don’t want to. We can’t just pretend the kiss and this conversation didn’t happen.” He said “I’m not asking you to forget it happen, and quite frankly, I don’t want to forget it either. I like you, I really do, but it’s a huge risk liking you, Lacey. Going to jail for boosting cars, or even street racing isn’t nearly as bad as getting locked up and portrayed as this evil human being and registering as a "sex offender.” You got to understand where I am coming from, Lacey.” He continued with, “We just can’t be in a relationship right now, but we don’t have to act like strangers. I still want to be there for you, like I was. I don’t want to lose the connection we had.” I said “Me either but it's my fault that we did….” He lifted my chin to advert my eyes to his and he said “You didn't ruin anything, Lacey. So can we hug it out?” I just smiled and gave him a giant squeeze to end the conversation. As days went by, things are still definitely awkward, but I’m just more content at the fact that at least he doesn’t hate me for it and to my surprise he even admitted to liking me too. Of course I don’t want anything bad to happen to Leon if we were to get caught, but I also don’t want to wait two more years either. I'm being a little selfish, but I can't help the way that I feel. I’m always just really frightened at the thought that my feelings for him won’t be the same in two years time, even more terrified thinking that he'll end up falling in love with an older girl with more experience in those two years. I don’t want to lose this feeling ever, but I have to prep myself for that possibility, and that's what's hurting the most. I’ve gotten back into things I was doing before Leon and I began hanging out all the time. It helped distract my mind from it usually even though most of time the thought of him crept it’s way into whatever I was working on, whether it was painting, drawing, or writing or just a fucking song I heard that reminded me of him-- he was there. The thought of what him and I could be somehow still managed to express itself in my art, but sometimes I wouldn’t even realize it. I would literally be on auto-piolet and intuned to the art itself without even realizing I interpreted Leon in some form into the art until afterwards. I started trying different forms of art such as crochet. I made myself some cute crocheted halter tops and bikinis, and I even made bracelets and jewlery with other materials. Still didn’t help me completely distract myself from him. I slowly and cautiously opened my brother’s bedroom door and went at ease after I found out he wasn’t in there. I don’t really know what I was doing in there but I started looking through the night stand drawer, and saw a bunch of old pictures and other miscellaneous things including some weed and a bowl for smoking weed. Then my attention went elsewhere and instantly I got an idea when my eyes focused on his guitar. He used to try to teach me how to play when I was younger and when he wasn’t so busy all the time. I still remember a few things, but I decided to pick it up and wing it. I sat back down on the bed and stroked the strings a little bit. Just the vibration and soft, unintelligent melody was so soothing. However to my surprise Vince walks in the room, we both shocked each other. I quickly put the guitar back down in the corner and he said “You don’t have to be a sneak about it. Whenever you want to try it out you can.” I laughed and said “I suck though.” He laughed and said “Not true. Everyone starts somewhere. I wasn’t born a good guitarist, I became one.” He then walked over to the guitar, picked it up and said “Here. You can have it. It’s yours now.” I said “You don’t have to do that.” He said “Lacey, it’s a gift. Just take it. Besides, I like the electric guitar better anyway.” I said “Thank you, Vince.” He said “No problem. You better write some bangers though.” Then we both laughed.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

I stayed late at school on a Friday night simply because my after school activites consisted of hanging out with Leon, and since I can’t really do that anymore I seriously looked for every excuse, and club, or extracurricular activity to participate in just to avoid going home, and being there alone with him. It’s not that I was scared of him or anything like that, even the awkward tension didn’t seem to quite be there anymore. I just knew that if I stayed around him I put myself and him in a bad position. We both are extremely infatuated with each other, and for his sake of not being deemed as a pervert sex offender, we have to refrain from putting each other in those situations where another heat of the moment kiss could take place and that could inevitabley push things further down the road, if you catch my drift. I participated in the art show tonight, I even showcased some of my artwork. I showcased them anonymously though, I’m not really great with constructive criticism, so if there were critics in the crowd who didn’t like my work, at least they wouldn’t know the face of the artist and I didn’t necessarily have to hear about it. Quinn, who I met in the art department who I helped with after school lighting and sound checks for theater, came up to me and said “I know that’s your work over there submitted “anonymously..” I said “Cool.” He asked “Why on earth would you do that? They’re extremely good, and you should hear what people are saying about them.” I said “That’s exactly the reason I anonymously submitted them, Quinn. I didn’t want to hear what people had to say about them.” He said “Even if they were extremely nice things?” I said “Well, those wouldn’t be so bad to hear, but it’s the negative ones I’m afraid of, and the bad always comes with the good. If you want the good, you have to expect the bad, but if you don’t want the bad at all, you have to sacrifice the good.” Quinn laughed and stated “Sometimes I feel like your mind drifts off and you make vague analogies that fit the topic at hand but also issues in your life you don’t explicitly bring up.” I said “You caught me. I have a knack for that.” I said it in a sarcastic tone to hopefully direct the conversation to a new topic, but he was shockingly right about my analogies. Didn’t realize I did them that often, nor did I realize Quinn and I had that many conversations for him to notice such a thing. Maybe he was just a great observer like me. After the artshow I stayed and helped clean up the gym, the sun has completely set by now and I was a little uneasy about walking home through the horrible neighborhoods, that never used to seem that bad, but now I know their stories. I also got eerie flashbacks from the Jackie incident, and how the last time I was in the streets by myself at nighttime, I was in a dazed drug-induced trance covered in blood. By the way, Jackie has still never been found, which doesn’t make this eerie feeling any better. Anyways, that night I ran to Leon as a safety net but now I’m too afraid to even call him to ask him for a ride home. Besides it’s Friday night, so he’s probably fighting right now anyway. Yes – fighting. Leon has always had a passion for mixed martial arts and UFC. His passion landed him an “under the table” job at a sketchy bar that made bets on the fighters. Winner gets the loot. Seriously, nothing my family dabbled in to make quick cash was ever legal. Then again, most outlets for "quick cash" rarely ever are. I started to walk home anyway after I gained the courage. Besides being outside the school with all the lights off seem to set off an even creepier vibe. I’m walking and start to observe my surroundings. I start thinking to myself out loud, “Okay, It’s Friday night, I’m sure a lot of parties are going to be taking place throughout the neighborhoods, expect hollaring, shouting, and a lot of cars. Don’t panic, you can do this, if you can practically Grand Theft Auto Mia’s car, and sneak around a secluded warehouse guarded by armed family members who would shoot first at a shadow in the woods sneaking up on the place, and investigate later, then I can simply walk home from school.” A car pulled up next to me, and as I’m gripping the pocket knife I stole from Vince’s end table drawer, I ease the grip when I realize it was Quinn. He said “I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I noticed you walking home and it’s pretty dark and this is a pretty sketchy area, if you don’t mind, then I won’t mind giving you a ride home.” I said “Actually, yeah, that’ll be good. Thank you.” I didn't particularly trust Quinn, as with anybody really, but I trusted him more than the unpredictability of these streets. The car ride between me and Quinn wasn’t awkward, it was just boring to me because we obviously don’t relate on very many levels. However, he is a very nice guy, it’s just that I’m obviously more into perculiar, adverse guys like Leon, and Quinn was definitely neither of the two. Quinn was an open book and he talked about everything he liked right off the bat, seriously lacking the enigmas vibe, and he doesn’t seem too adverse as he participates in a lot of school activites so he doesn’t really have time to be bad even if he wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, Quinn is very cute, but his baby face compared to Leon’s scruffy face just didn’t compare. I noticed in his backseat that there was a bucket from Dunkin Donuts and inside the bucket was a rumpled up brown apron, which I assumed was his work apron, and that he worked at Dunkin Donuts, but I wasn’t going to bring it up unless he did. I noticed the bucket said “glazed” on it, and I thought to myself why would he steal and wash out a bucket of donut glaze? He seemed really odd at times. His life story and things that he has interests in seemed rehearsed and he didn't seem too compassionate towards the things he claimed to have passion for. However, as it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen or encountered, I let the thought go. We finally pulled up in front of my house, and Leon, Vince, and Dom are outside drinking beers. As I was hoping for a quick exit Quinn wants to start small talk again and says “So you live in Echo Park? Kind of far from the school.” I said “Yeah, I used to go to the one closer but I had to transfer.” He then asks “Do you know the guys on the porch?” I said “Yeah, one of them is my brother, why?” He said “Just want to make sure you get inside safely.” I laughed and said “That’s not your job, Quinn. Thanks for the ride though.” As I’m walking up the path to the porch I already know they’re going to question me and ask about the guy that dropped me off so I’m already prepared for it. Vince says “Who was that?” I said “Quinn. He helps with a lot of after school activities and drove me home so I didn’t have to walk.” Leon abruptly said “Why didn’t you call me?” Vince gave him this look and then shot it back at me and said “Or me??” I said “I was just going to walk home, he offered.” Vince didn’t seem to care much about Quinn, just my well-being, and after seeing he offered out of “the kindness of his heart” Vince sort of let it go. However, Leon looked enraged and I can obviously assume why he would be, but then again, it was his choice to wait until I turned eighteen. So am I supposed to be lonely and single for two years? Not that I was even interested in Quinn in that manner, but I didn’t care if Leon thought so at the moment. A few hours later, Leon knocks on the doorway of my room, and I look at him and can immediately tell he’s had quite a lot to drink. I said “The door was already opened why’d you knock?” He completely ignored my question and continued to poke the Quinn situation and asked “So who’s Quinn?” I said “I already told you guys, he’s just a kid I met from doing after school stuff. He offered to give me a ride home.” He asked “Do you like him?” I sighed and said “No Leon, I don’t, not like that. Even if I did though, am I not allowed to? You and I are not together, and can’t be for two years. Am I supposed to be the same lonely little girl I've always been and wait on you while you have a fan club of whores who practically jump in your pants every time they see you?” Leon didn’t respond right away and said “I don’t entertain the whore fan club, I don’t want to.” I said “Well that’s good, but Quinn seriously is just a kid who offered me a ride home it’s really not that big of a deal.” I changed the subject and said “So anyways… Do you want me to clean the cuts on your face?” He smirked and said “Sure Dr. Lacey.” As I have Leon’s face gripped in my hand I start to feel the urge to cry, and I seriously do not even know why. Leon asked “Will this shit hurt?” I said “It’ll sting a little bit, but you’ve been drinking so you probably won’t even feel it.” After I clean his face we talk a little bit like we used to. He saw the guitar and started telling me stories about him learning the guitar and I thought to myself “Does he just know how to do everything?” In the middle of the guitar conversation though, he leaped up and ran to my bathroom to puke his brains out. I slowly crept in behind him and started rubbing his back. I do the same thing for Vince and Jesse when they have too much to drink, so it wasn’t even sexual. By this point Leon was slurrig his words, and couldn’t keep his eyes open. I let him lay down in my bed, and I put the bathroom garbage can next to him, he drifted asleep almost instantly, and to keep things from being super awkward in the morning, I borrowed some blankets from the living room couch, and slept on the floor. I know this is pretty much a contradiction from the night I slept in his bed and made him sleep next to me because it was his room, and his bed, I wouldn’t want him sleeping on the floor. However, due to recent events I figured it would just be wiser to sleep on the floor. Also, just in case someone decides they want to walk into my room, and get the wrong idea. Say Vince, for example.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

I wake up to a gentle shake on my shoulder, and I open my eyes to see Leon standing over me. Once I became fully aware of my surroundings upon waking up, Leon sat down next to me on the floor with his back resting against the side of my bed. I sat up and said “You okay?” He said “Yeah. Thanks.” There was a long pause and then he said “So…. What did happen last night? I remember a lot but can’t really remember much after the guitar conversation.” I said “Well, actually the guitar conversation is the last thing we talked about. You threw up and passed out literally in the middle of that conversation.” He said “Damn. Alright. Why didn’t you bring me to my room? Just curious.” I gave him this look and said “Do you think I’m strong enough to carry you princess style down a flight of stairs? You could barely stand and walk over to the bed let alone a flight of stairs.” He started to chuckle and said “Thanks for taking care of me. You didn’t have to.” I said “I didn’t really have a choice, but I didn’t mind either way. Besides, there have been times where you’ve helped my drunk ass before.” He laughed and said “Well, that’s different. I’m a man.” I said “So what? Man or woman, tall or short, fat or skinny, if you drink alcohol you’re going to get drunk, and if you drink enough, you’ll get super wasted. It's what's supposed to happen and it happens to everybody.” I changed the topic and asked “So Leon, did you win the fight last night?” He said “Of course I did. Did you expect any less?” Then he grinned really hard. He said “Oh by the way, there’s going to be a party here tonight after the race.” I said “Am I allowed to come to the race?” He said “That’s up to Vince, not me. If it were up to me then yeah, of course you could.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him. Thirty minutes later I saw Vince and I started a casual conversation with him. I’m either really horrible at this or Vince is really good at this, he knew right away I wanted something. He said “What is it Lacey?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “You’re either about to ask me for money, or something else, but you’re going to ask for something, I can tell..” I said “Well damn, alright, but I want to know…. If… I…..” He said “Quit stalling. Just spit it out.” I said “Can I go to the race tonight?” He said “No, not tonight. I’m actually in the race tonight instead of Dom.” I said “So, what’s that mean?” He said “I just… I don’t want you in that environment unless I’m watching you.” I said “So you don’t trust Leon, Dom, Letty, or Jesse?” He said “I never said that. However, there is going to be an after party at the house tonight. You’re more than welcome to hang out with the party, I might let you even drink or smoke.” I said “I smoke anyways.” He looks up at me and said “Oh yeah, I forgot.” I said “Really?” He said “Nah, I know you smoke and drink behind my back. Why wouldn’t you? I’d do the same shit.” I said “So you don’t care about drinking or smoking, but I can’t come watch a race?” He said “Lacey, it’s more than that, half the street racing world in the city shows up to these things. Anything could happen in seconds. I just don’t want you to be there.” I said “Will I ever get to go to one?” “Haven’t you already?” He stated referring to the night I snuck behind his back with Chandler and I said “You know what I mean.” He sighed and said “Yeah. One day.” Vince seemed a lot more frustrated than his usual days. Yes, even a casual Vince was frustrated, but today seemed a bit more than normal. Dom came out the back door, and called to get Vince’s attention and cocked his head. Vince looked back at me and said “Alright kiddo, I got to go. I’ll see you tonight.” Then he grabbed the top of my head and playfully shook it a little bit. He’s been doing that since I was little, that was his way of affection. He’s not the hugs and kisses kind of guy, Vince barely pats people on the shoulder. I started to head back to my room and realized the whole house had left. I figured this was the perfect time to walk around the house in my underwear and listen to loud music, and ya know, do shit you can’t normally do in a house with six other people. After two hours go by and still nobody is home I’ve grown bored as hell. I laid on my bed and rolled over to my back. I started thinking about all kinds of random shit, like people normally do when they’re laying down all by themselves. Then I started thinking about Leon. I thought about him to the point where I inevitabley turned myself on. Then I realized that I’m all alone, I can be as loud as I want and not have the paranoia of someone walking in on me. I sat up and took my shirt off and laid back down. I started to rub my body softly creating goose bumps and making my nipples hard. I closed my eyes and slowly let my hand ease it’s way underneath my panty line. I was instantly wet, I don’t do this often, because I hardley ever get chances like this. I slowly started rubbing my clit and lubricating my fingers. I gradually squeezed two of my fingers inside of me, and back and fourth they went, and faster and faster they got. It was pretty quick, but it felt so good. I started squirting and I knew that I was cumming. I’m not that inexperienced, I know what my body can do. It's the opposite sex and their genitals that I'm inexperienced with. After I finished, I relaxed and listened to my rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. Then I got up and realized that I was so eager to get a quick fix in that I didn’t even lay a towel down. I rolled my eyes because now I had to wash my sheets. Sometimes, I wish I was a guy. Stuff like this would be much easier. I can’t even pleasure myself without having to do chores. I hopped in the shower real quick to wash myself off, then I wrapped a towel around me, grabbed my sheets and headed downstairs to the laundry room which was in a nook room behind the kitchen. As I turned the washer on I heard the back door close and my heart sank. I wasn’t even doing anything anymore, but me washing my sheets in a towel just looks suspicious, and I don’t really want the awkward tension of someone even suspecting that I just got done masturbating. I turn the corner and saw that it was Mia with a bunch of grocery bags. She said “Hey Lacey, what’s up?” I said “Just got out of the shower. Did some laundry. I don’t know. Had a pretty boring day. Are all these groceries for the party tonight?” I tried to abruptly change the topic and get the attention off of me and it worked, she looked up really fast and said “No. What party?” I said “Leon and Vince both said they’re having an after party tonight after the race.” Mia rolled her eyes and said “Ugh, that’s great.” I said “We have parties all the time.” She said “I just wish I got informed. I was going to cook dinner tonight for everyone, but I’m not making food for other people to eat it, fuck that. We’ll just wait 'til tomorrow.” Mia placed both hands on the counter and as I begin walking away she said “So Lacey…” I turned around expecting her to just continue and she laughed and said “So, how’s your love life?” I said “What?” She laughed some more and said “When you used to help me out at the cafe everyday you told me you had a crush on some guy who you said didn’t even know you existed.” I said “Ahhhh, yeah. I remember that.” I actually totally forgot about that, and evidently I was referring to Leon, and at that time I would’ve never imagined him and I would be as close as we are now nor did I ever expect him to develop any sort of feelings for me, so I literally thought the conversation was harmless and that I wouldn’t ever have to bring it up again. Mia said “So does he know you exist now?” I laughed and said “More than you know.” She said “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said “I kind of told him how I felt but he didn’t feel the same way back.” Mia said “I’m sorry. There’s plenty of guys out there Lacey, don’t worry about it.” I only said what I said to get Mia to end the conversation, which she did, but I wasn’t expecting her to say it like that. I don’t want to think about other guys, I only want to think about Leon, and I sort of lied, because Leon does like me back. I couldn’t tell her the complication was our age difference. That would’ve ended very badly and she probably would’ve told Vince about my secret crush and raise a ton of suspicion about who it was and since Leon and I have been undoubetly hanging out, I think Vince would figure it out immediately. I just smirked at her and said “Yeah, I guess.” Then walked away.

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As it gets closer and closer to the party time I start getting ready. I put on a ton of makeup on and a sexy, but classy tube top and some leggings with boots. I want to look older than sixteen tonight. Not for slutty reasons, obviously because I have my eye on only one man, and I’ve only technically been with one guy before, but because I don’t want people to assume I’m sixteen. I for once just want to be treated like an adult. Also, maybe nobody will look at me weird if I’m walking around drinking. After I’m done getting ready I go outside and start rolling blunts for me throughout the night. Vince walks up from the back porch for whatever reason, and I didn’t even hear him pull up. To be honest it scared me and made me jump, causing me to drop four blunts I’ve already rolled. Vince picks them up and says “One of them is mine since I’m the coolest brother in the world.” I said “Oh yeah?” He said “Am I not?” Then laughed and walked away. I’m guessing by his extremely good mood, that he won the race tonight so I didn’t even have to ask. Literally minutes later a bunch of random people show up meaning the party has officially begun. It’s weird because as much as I want to fit into this lifestyle, I already wish people would leave my house. This isn’t even the first big party we’ve thrown here, people on the whole block know us as the loud obnoxious party house. They don’t call the cops on us anymore though. I feel really socially awkward, and kind of just want to sit in my room the whole time, but I told myself I didn’t do all this makeup for no reason. I step outside and smoke the first blunt, I figured this would help me get into the laid back party mood. Jesse plops down next to me on the porch, it’s an odd thing because it’s usually Leon who sits down next to me on the porch. Jesse said “Hey Lacey. Finally apart of the big dogs, huh?” I laughed and said “Haven’t I technically always been?” He said “Well, with a brother like Vince I couldn’t disagree.” I pass him the blunt and he took it and said “Aye, thanks.” It was cool chilling with Jesse. He’s actually the first person I “bought” weed from. I knew I could trust him because literally nobody found out about it, and I thought it was cool since he gave it to me for free and explained to me that as long as I’m safe with it and whatnot he wouldn’t mind smoking me out and giving me weed. He said that it would always be for free because we’re family. Plus, I don’t think Jesse really wanted to take my allowance money from the cafe anyway. The cafe money was really just shared family money that he technicallyy already had in his pockets anyway. Jesse is really chill, and has a hippie flower child type of stoner vibe. It’s honestly the best kind of stoner to surround yourself with. Plus, it’s been awhile since Jesse and I have smoked together or even had a deep conversation together. I broke the silence by asking “So, was the race eventful?” He chuckled and said “Same ol’ same ol’.” I asked “What’s so special about them?” He said “There really isn’t a general specialty to them. It’s all how you perceive it. I know they’re special to Dom because he pratically invented the street racing world here and because he grew up around it with his dad and whatnot. They’re special to Vince because it clears his mind. They’re special to me because it’s cool seeing the cars I worked on win. I’m not sure why they’re special to Leon or Letty, but it is what it is.” There was a bit of a pause and Jesse said “I can see why you’re so eager to get in on the races though. It’s funny because I remember Vince telling me that when he was back in high school he was really eager too.” I just smiled. Jesse then said “Do you want a beer? I won’t tell Vince.” I smiled harder and said “Sure, but Vince already offered me one for tonight anyway.” He said “Ahhhh, Lacey is growing up.” Then we walked into the kitchen and he handed me a Corona. He seemed a bit surprised to see me get the top off on my own without any effort. He laughed and said “Ahhhhh, someone’s done this before.” I playfully laughed and said “Shhhh.” A few minutes later Mia, Dom and Vince walk into the kitchen and Mia practically berated me like she was my mother and said “Lacey Maree is that a beer in your hand!? What are you doing?” Dom laughed and said “Relax Mia, should I remind you of how old you were when you had your first? She’s fine let her drink a lil’. Besides she’s in the safety of her own home. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Vince condenscendingly added on and said “Yeah, I already signed the permission slip.” Then he laughed and did the playful head shake thing again. I’m starting to feel relaxed now and even more so that I finally feel like I’m apart of the whole crew now, but in the back of my mind I’m starting to wonder more and more where Leon is and what he’s doing. I walk into the living room and instantly notice Leon sitting down in the chair in the living room with a blonde, trampy looking skank on his lap. I recognized her as one of his ex-girlfriends named Monica, who Vince has also had his fair share of time with. She’s a homie hopping whore. Leon didn’t look too interested which was odd. He wasn't even making eye contact with her and was staring into space, but it’s still disrespectful. He knows I’m here and could see the shit as easily as I just did. He knows I like him and he said he liked me too just the other day and then does this!? It’s not even just the fact that there’s a skank on his lap. If we have to wait two years, I expected him to have his fun with other girls, and if the opprotuity arose for me to do the same with a guy, I’d probably take it. It’s the fact that this is being done right in front of me. In my house in my living room. I stood there staring for God knows how long then Leon makes eye contact with me. He had to do a double take and then called out "Lacey!” I saw him practically push the girl to the floor and start coming my direction, but I don’t even care for his explanation or excuses at the moment. I ran through the crowd of people as fast as I could so he couldn’t get to me. There was so many people in the house you have people practically breathing down your neck, literally. I noticed that I couldn’t see him at all anymore through all the strange faces. I grabbed a bottle of Patron off of the kitchen island and walked outside where the party didn’t seem too heavy. There were quite a few people out here but not nearly as many as there were inside. I would sit on the hammock but a random couple is laying in it which makes me want to burn it and buy a new one. About an hour, I believe, passes and I realized that I may’ve had way too much to drink plus the marijuana wasn’t helping. I suddenly felt the urge that I had to throw up so I ran to the door, and fought my way through the blurry crowd of people and went into the downstairs bathroom. I don't really know why I didn't just puke in the grass outside. I blacked out for the first time in my life because I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t even remember throwing up. I just woke up to Leon standing over me. I saw him grab the bottle of Patron from my hands and place it on the counter and lifted me up and carried me to my room. Who knows how long I was laying on that bathroom floor. The next afternoon I wake up to two gatorades on my nightstand and a note from Leon saying You probably need these and call me when you’re awake. I said to myself Oh so I’m supposed to forgive you because you bought me gatorade? I didn’t want to call him. I didn’t want to talk to him. Okay, who am I kidding? Of course I wanted to talk to him. I loved talking to him. Plus, I do want to hear his explanation now that I’m sober and not so heated anymore. I texted him instead of calling him though to make it seem as if I didn’t care that much. A couple minutes went by and then he’s walking into my room. I didn’t sit up or even pretend to care that he was there. He said “I want to explain myself.” I chuckled and said “Why?” He said “Because I owe it to you.” I said “You don’t owe me shit.” He said “Well after last night, I should explain.” I said “What about last night?” I was trying to throw the impression that I don’t remember anything even though I remember everything that set me off distinctively. He said “The girl… Sitting on my lap.” I said “Oh yeah.” He said “You’re never going to let it go, are you?” At this point I figured it was silly to lie to myself and pretend like it didn’t bother me and lie to him and pretend like I don’t remember. I only had one beer at that point, of course I remembered. It was the reason I decided to down a bottle of Patron and black out. I sat up and sighed and said “Leon, I’m not holding on to anything, and I’m not mad. How can I be mad if you’re not my boyfriend? There’s nothing I can do about some bimbo on your lap. It was just the fact that it happened in our fucking living room, in our fucking house just a couple of days after you confessed you had the same feelings I do. How am I supposed to react? It did hurt a little.” He said “I don’t blame you for being pissed off and salty about it at all. It’s just that Vince "hooked” her up with me. If I declined he would’ve been even more suspicious and think something was really up between me and you.“ I was confused at him saying this and I said "Wait what?” He said “Vince thinks there’s something going on between us.” I said “He actually said that?” Leon said “Not directly or in so many words but he’s been asking a lot of questions implying that he suspects it. Questions such as "So you and Lacey have been spending a lot of time together, huh?" Vince is a pretty straight foraward guy so when he asks questions like that it’s because he’s trying to get to the bottom of something. Him hooking me up with Monica was a test.” I asked “Did you really hook up with her?” He said “No! I would never hook up with her again. She’s just a thirsty slut. I wouldn’t lie to you Lacey, I never have and I never will. I won’t start now. I did however tell Vince that we did to get him off my back. If he thinks I actually hooked up with her he won’t be so suspcious about me and you anymore.” I said “True. Plus if he really thought we were dating or something he would’ve already killed you for cheating on me.” We both started laughing, but my laugh quickly faded away and I said "Even if he was still suspicious it's not like it truly matters anyway, since we really aren't together." He said “Listen, I am really, really sorry about the whole thing. I know there’s no way I can take it back and make you unsee what you saw, but I just felt like I had to explain that it truly wasn’t what it looked like. She got super drunk, and I sent her home with her friends. That’s literally the end of it.” I said “I believe you. I just…. Don’t let it happen again. Even though we’re not together I don’t want to see that shit.” He said in a tone as if he was admitting something and said “Yeah, me either,” and looked up at me. He was most likely referring to Quinn. Leon and I actually sat in my room for awhile and started to talk like we used to. We actually shared some good laughs. As he was walking out I said “Hey Leon, do you want to come to this stupid play at school tonight? I’m going to be in it and the rest of the family is coming.” He said “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I just smiled really big. He always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He added “I didn’t strike you as the kind of person to really be into that sorta thing though. You're artsy, but you in a play? I just don't see it.” I said “I’m not really. I kind of got pestered into doing it and couldn’t really say no.” He laughed and said “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great regardless.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:

Dear Diary, I haven’t written in you in such a long time because I haven’t needed to. Leon became my real life diary with actual feedback. It was amazing. It was everything I could ever ask for. However, after I confessed to him how I felt we sort of drifted apart from each other. The bond we had for awhile seemed to fade away. However though, he admitted to feeling the same way about me. Our age difference was the only problem, well and my brother. So I guess I’m back to resorting to you with my problems. I’m just worried that in two years time we won’t feel the same way we do now. I really wish I could go back to the days when I barely knew anything about him. I wish I could be that fifteen year old girl again with just a little crush. Things were way more simple back then. I miss the feeling I would get when he walked by, and I don’t feel that anymore. Then again, him and I never really talked back then at all so I did gain a lot. I thought being sixteen was going to change things for me. I thought the family would start respecting me and treat me more like an adult, and it seemingly worked out that way for awhile, until after I told Leon how I felt and it seemed as if I back tracked to being fifteen again. I sometimes wish I could go even further back to when I was a little girl. When Vince would give me underdogs on the swing set, when he’d read me stories to bed, and when being on top of the world was simply sitting on his shoulders. I daresay that the euphoric feeling I got from sitting on Vince’s shoulders will never again exist within me. I miss family game nights, and family movie nights. Being sixteen sucks. The older I get the more I realize how shitty this life and the world can be, and here I was in such a rush to grow up and be an adult.

There is nothing to really even talk about when it comes to the play. I did farely well I suppose, but I was nervous as hell knowing my whole family was in the crowd watching me. I got so used to them not being around or paying this much attention to me. After the play I ran backstage to change, and then I met my family who all shared their congratulations with me. Vince hugged me and said “You were great, kiddo.” Then out of nowhere Quinn walked over to me and my family. I hated when the friends I had during my school hours felt like they could just walk up to my family. I mostly hated the awkward confrontation and the awkward questions I get from the said friend afterwards. Quinn said “You were great Lacey.” Vince said “And you are..?” Quinn responded with “I’m Quinn. Lacey’s friend. I take it you’re the brother.” Vince said “Yep.” Vince wasn’t actually interested in getting to know him or converse with him he just said what he did to be a dick and to be intimidating. For once, I didn’t mind it. Mia said “Well, it’s nice to meet you Quinn,” and then she shot me this playful look and I thought to myself shit she thinks this is a guy that I like. Right after thinking that thought I look over to Leon who’s heavily trying to avoid looking this direction for obvious reasons and for those same obvious reasons he has to pretend not to care that Quinn is standing next to me. Dom walks over and hugs me tightly and said “I’m proud of you Lacey, you’ve always been quite the artist of the family, keep that up. Don’t ever lose sight of that no matter what.” I said “Of course not.” Then smiled. He gathered the gang up and they started to head out. I've gotten so used to that. Vince walked over to me and said “Want a ride home?” I said “I fucking wish I could go home. I have to stay here and help clean up.” Vince said “Alright, just call me if you need me, we’re not going too far tonight.” I said “Alright, I will.” As I’m cleaning one of the makeup stations Quinn walks up to me and said “So, you have an interesting family.” I said “Yep.” He said “So, I’m guessing you need a ride home since they all left you?” I snapped back and said “They didn’t leave me. I can call them whenever I want.” He said “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I was just saying that in hopes that you would say you needed a ride so I could surprise you with a cheap date to Burger King.” I began to laugh at his request but then I started to think to myself that Quinn isn’t that ugly. He’s your pretty average preppy looking guy. He wasn’t my type by any means, but still, I give credit to where it’s due. I also thought that if Leon and I can’t be together for two more years, where’s the harm in having some fun? I know damn well he’s going to fuck other girls in the meantime anyway. So why not? I said “You know what… That actually sounds good. Sure.” He said “Wow, really? Alright then, it’s a date.” I want to be the one calling the shots here so I said “Woah, woah, woah. Lets not get ahead of ourselves now. It’s not a date. It’s just two friends eating food together.” He said “Alright, I’ll take it.” After we ate, we got back in the car and I was honestly so disappointed. It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. Well, I haven’t been on very many but I don’t think it could get any worse or anymore boring than this. Quinn and I literally have nothing in common. He didn’t talk about anything I could even pretend to be interested in. We don’t have the same music type either. We couldn’t even talk about something as simple as music. I suppose he’s probably thinking the same thing I am though. I started talking about cars and racing and naming car parts and he had no idea what I was talking about at all. The whole time I was talking and making jokes, I saw this blank expression in Quinn's eyes that contradicted the smile on his lips. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about nor did he care. The whole time I just kept thinking to myself Leon would get it. I decided to talk about something we clearly had in common seeing how that’s how we met– art! Then he confessed that he’s only taking art classes because he joined the school late after his parents were in a car accident and all the cooler elective classes were already filled up. I did notice that he didn’t mention who he was living with now, since he mentioned his parents died in the accident, but I wasn’t going to ask. Kind of rude, in my opinion. Anyways, this entire night was a total drag. Quinn and I pull up to my house, finally, and he said “It doesn’t look like anyone is home. Do you want me to stay here with you?” I was seriously baffled by his question. Does he think I’m some fragile princess who’s never been home alone before, and was this seriously an attempt to get in my room after only one cheap ass dinner gathering at Burger King? I said “No, that won’t be necessary. Goodbye now.” He leaned in and abruptly kissed me and I pushed him off and said “What the fuck is your problem?” I opened the car door and said “Go fuck yourself!” Every part of me that wanted to feel bad for him just didn’t exist. Who the hell does he think he is? What makes him think he can just kiss me after one pathetic date at Burger King? I specifically even told him that it wasn’t even a date it was just two friends eating food together. What a cocky asshole. After being home for nearly thirty minutes I heard a door slam downstairs. I thought it was them coming home, but after I heard no noises or usual chatter I started to get an uneasy feeling. I immediately ran across the hall to my brother’s room and grabbed the baseball bat next to his bed. My mind wandered to who it could be. One of my family’s enemies? Would they hurt me? Wait, that’s a stupid question Lacey, they’d use you as leverage if anything. I thought to myself that this seriously can’t be happening right now. Lacey, you have to be smart about this. I searched my brother’s room high and low, and finally found a gun in the top of his closet. I knew I’d find one in here. I knew I would. I remember everything from watching YouTube how-to videos all about guns and shit. I loaded it and told myself this was obviously my best defense, and so far I’m currently undetected and I have a gun which means I currently have an advantage. I look down the stairs and I don’t hear or see anyone at all. I start to slowly walk down and head towards the kitchen since that’s where the slam came from. Nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary I knew damn well it wasn’t just the wind or my imagination. Every bitch that’s ever said that in movies ends up dying right after they say that shit and let their guard down. All of the sudden someone grabs me from behind but I was able to bite their hand and maneuver my way out of their grip. I dropped the fucking gun and now whoever this intruder is has it because the risk of trying to grab it was too high to be grabbed by them again. I had to be snappy with the decision making. I knew I had to run. So I did. I ran back up to Vince’s room and locked the door. I knew the baseball bat was my only weapon choice, but seeing how they have the gun and I have the bat I have a serious disadvantage now. I would only have one chance with what had to be a sneak attack to really fuck this person up before they shoot me. I started thinking to myself, that I should’ve ran to my room and climbed out the window on to the roof. I’d take my chances jumping off the roof than staying in this house. I couldn't of ran out of the kitchen door, I noticed it was locked. The time it would take to stop to unlock it would be enough time for them to grab me again. So that really wasn’t an option. The person started banging at the door and I was so scared for my life. Just as I was about to say my prayers and acccept the fact that I might die tonight I notice something poking out from Vince’s sheets. He had a shotgun under his mattress. I thought to myself “Jesus Christ, thank you Vince you crazy gun enthusiast bastard.” I loaded it and just as I was about to shoot at the door the person barges in and punches me. I fall to the floor and they try to rip my leggings off. My mouth was bleeding so bad and my face felt numb. I was able to move to the side and punch the person in the face with the little force I could manage. Which was a little effective they bounced back enough for me to get my feet free so I leapt over to the shotgun and didn’t even think twice about pulling the trigger. I shot the person in the chest and watched them fall to their knees then face first to the floor. I flipped them over and began to stab him with Vince’s pocket knife to really make sure the fucker was dead. Pure rage took over and I went overboard on the stabbing and when I came to, I realized what I had just done. I just fucking murdered a human being. A vile human being, who deserved it, but still. I start hyperventilating and drop the pocket knife when I see a pool of blood form and start to stain and soak the carpet. I had blood all over my hands and wrists and clothes. I kneeled back down on the ground next to the person and and started to lift the mask off. My heart sank when I saw that is was Quinn. I’ve never killed anyone before or felt so relieved by murder. Well, I actually felt a sense of relief when Leon murdered the fuckers who drugged me, but then it was more so a sense of vengence. I also realized that there’s no way we could cover this up as easily as Leon did. It happened in my brother’s room! I freak out. I called Leon because he’s clearly gotten away with murder before, except for, Vince answered. He said “Jesus Christ Lacey are you okay?” I said “No.” He said  "Where the fuck are you?“ I said "I’m at home….” He said “What? We got a text saying you needed our help at the school.” I remembered setting my phone down in the living room on a charger and realized that Quinn probably took it and sent that so my family wouldn’t have came home while he was doing all he wanted to do to me. I said “I didn’t send that.” He said “So what’s wrong? And who did?” I said “Someone broke into the house and I was attacked.” Vince shouts at this point and says “What!? Where are they now? Lacey are you okay? Are they still there? We’re on our way.” I said “Please stay on the phone with me Vince I’m so scared.” He said “Lacey what happened? Where are they?” I started crying because I didn’t know how to put in words what just happened, especially over the phone. They’ll see for themselves when they get home and it’ll all speak for itself. At this point I feel completely numb. I’m just sitting near the doorway of Vince’s room, staring at the lifeless body that used to be Quinn. Why did he want to hurt me? Was it because I rejected his kiss and it sent him over the psychopathic edge? Or was this his agenda the whole time? Vince says “Lacey the phone is about to die but we’re right down the road.” Then he hung up. They all came running in the house screaming my name I was too numb and out of it to respond. All of the sudden they all came running up the stairs and walked into Vince’s room since they saw me sitting there. Vince had the most shocked expression on his face that I have ever seen before. He looked at the dead body on the floor of his bedroom and saw two of his guns and his pocket knife. They all had the most shocked expressions on their faces that I have never seen before. Leon kneels down next to me, I was shaking at this point and couldn’t speak. Leon runs across the hall into my room and grabs me a towel and wraps it around me. Vince then kneels down next to me and said “Are you okay?” I couldn’t snap out of the trance I was in and Vince softly shouted “Lacey!” I said “I’m okay.” Leon said “She needs to lie down before she hyperventilates and goes into shock.” Vince carries me downstairs to the couch. They all follow and sit in the living room shocked and quiet. Jesse said “What do we do? Call the cops?” Dom said “No.” Mia said “Why not!? It’s not like we did anything wrong, he broke in here and tried to hurt Lacey. She was just defending herself.” Dom shouts back “The cops can’t come around here, Mia. They just can’t!” Mia said “Then what the fuck do we do, Dom?” I look over to Leon thinking maybe he’ll get the hint in my eyes and call this Saul and have him reach out to his connections, but just then Vince speaks and says “I have an idea.” Everyone eagerly looked over to him including myself. He said “There’s a place we can bury the body. The same place we burried Tran’s cousin.” Dom said “You’re not supposed to say that shit, man.” Vince said “As if it fucking matters anymore, Dom. The only person who didn’t know about it was her,” he says as he points to me. Leon said “I’ll call Saul and have him get his connections involed for the mess upstairs.” I thought to myself it’s a good thing he mentioned him otherwise I would’ve.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:

A couple of days go by and everything happened as it normally would. Well, if you were in my family, and used to committing such crimes. Leon’s connections through Saul came into the house and ripped up Vince’s carpet, somehow managed to clean the wood underneath, and it was like as if it never even happened. Not one drop of blood left anywhere in the room, or the house for that matter. Watching Vince, Leon, Jesse and Dom dig and drop Quinn’s lifeless body into a hole in the ground would make anybody else feel maybe frightened, paranoid, or guilty. To me however, I didn’t feel any of that. In fact, I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so numb to the whole situation. If anything I felt relieved that it was over, with what felt like a snap of the finger. The drive there and back was silent. I sat in the backseat with Vince as he held me tightly, as if he didn’t want me to even slip through his fingers just a tad bit. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t scared– I don’t know what he was to be honest. Once we got home, I ran straight up the stairs to the shower. Everyone else went quietly to their rooms as well. I think we all just want to forget this ever happened. These past few days have been nightmareish. I thought that things would get better in time, even if it was just a little bit of time but I still feel numb. I feel like the world has stopped spinning and it sat still and just gave up. I decided to crawl out of bed for once for something other than a shower or to use the restroom. I needed fresh air, but instead of walking outside my room and having to face everyone, I did what I always do. I climbed out my window and sat on the roof. The roof of my house was a sacred place for me. It was a place for me to be alone, and be with just my thoughts, and I could even see the LA horizon. Sunsets were my favorite. As I’m rolling a blunt to smoke I start to hear chatter from down below, as I listen in I could hear that it was Leon and Vince talking about me, so of course I chimed in. I could hear Vince say in what sounded like a continuation of a conversation that was already started inside the house, “What I still don’t understand is why she called you.” Leon said “What’s that supposed to mean?” Vince replied “I don’t know you tell me.” Leon said “Look man, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Vince said "The fucking truth." Leon didn't respond to this but I'm assuming he shot Vince a look and Vince said “It’s just that ever since you’ve been tutoring her she hasn’t really talked to me and all she cares about is you pretty much. Even if she doesn't explicitly say it, it's kind of obvious. I mean even that time she got jumped, she called you. I thought to myself, okay it’s reasonable, you were a lot closer to the area, but this time she had just killed someone and her first thought is to call you instead of me?” Leon laughed under his breath and said “Look man, like I said, I don’t know why she called me that night, or the night she got jumped. I don't know what you want me to tell you.” Vince responded more angrily and straight forward and asked “Is there anything I should know about that's going on between you two?” Leon snapped back and said “Jesus Christ Vince, No!” Vince said “Then why are you getting all defensive?” Leon snapped back even harder and said “Fuck you, I’m not. I just don’t like accusations or interrogations so if you got something on your fucking mind, spit it out.” Vince didn’t respond after this but all of the sudden I hear disembodied grunt noises and then see both of them fall to the ground, they are now in sight and I can see that Vince is on top of Leon punching him in the face. I don’t know what for though. Technically there is legitimately nothing going on between me and Leon and the little thing that did occur, Vince can’t prove it. Vince never thinks rationally though. However, Vince is extraordinarily smart, way smarter than he may seem or what people give him credit for. He gets these hunches all the time about everything and his hunches are very rarely ever wrong, and as we can see, this hunch technically really wasn’t. Dom comes out of nowhere and rips Vince off of Leon and Vince just storms off and I could hear his car start and screech down the road all while Dom is lifting Leon up making sure he’s alright. Dom said to Leon “What the hell was that all about?” Leon said “I’m not really sure exactly.” I couldn't tell if Leon really wasn't sure why Vince snapped or if he just didn't want to imply it had something to do with me. I heard Mia’s voice in the background say “Someone should go check on Lacey.” I snap back really fast as if a jolt of electricity sent a wave through my body and realized I'm not just a narrator in a movie overseeing an event and that I have to scram to my window as silently as possible, without anyone seeing me. I climbed through the window and shut it and laid back down just in time to make it look like I never moved, as the door flies open, and to my surprise it’s Letty of all people. She doesn’t say anything at first, she just stands there, sighs, then drags my bean bag chair to the middle of my room, sits, and stares again. I sit up a little bit and stare back at her. She’s staring at me like she wants me to say something and break the silence, but I have no idea what she wants me to even say. She began to talk and said “I’m guessing you already know the question I’m going to ask you……. So just tell me how you are doing.” I said “Fine… I guess.” She said “That doesn’t sound too reassuring.” I said “How am I supposed to feel?” She just glances over at me, then says “Do you want to talk about it?” I abruptly said “Nope. I do not. I want to forget it ever happened.” She said “If that weren’t a mentally unhealthy option, I’d let you do that, but you can’t just forget it ever happened. You got to face the world and you got to own up to it. I mean I’m not suggesting you see a therapist or anything like that but you can’t beat yourself up over something that needed to be done. It was kill or be killed, right? You should own that shit and be proud that motherfucker can’t hurt anybody else, all because you were strong enough to end it. So, like I said; face the world, Lacey.” I said “What if I’m not ready to do that?” She bluntly said “Then you’ll never be.” Those words did not settle right with me and they weighed heavily on my chest. It was as if she responded to my question aboout this particular situation while indirectly addressing another situation. The answer fit both of them perfectly. I said “Well, what do you suggest?” Letty said “Well, for starters, you can start breaking the rules for once." I said "Haven't I already done that? You know, getting away with murder and all?" She looked at me as if she wanted to call me a smart ass and tell me to stop being condescending but she said "That's not what I meant. I was referring to Vince's rules. Vince isn’t your father, he’s the only one telling you that you can’t come. The rest of us would’ve brought you along ages ago. So come to the race tonight with us.” It was as if I didn't have a choice. Letty wasn't asking me if I felt up to going, she was definitely telling me to go or else. After Letty walks out I hop in the shower and then sat on the bean bag chair wrapped in my towel afterwards. I sat there contemplating whether or not I even wanted to go to the race tonight. What was Letty going to do? Force me? Was she really? Months ago, being invited along to the race would have been a dream come true, and now I can honestly see that it's really not that big of a deal. Also, I was a bit too comfortable in my room now, after not leaving it for days. I felt anxious about walking around my own house, and the awkward eye contact, and that unsettling feeling of everyone's eyes on you even though you're trying so hard to ignore it and it's as if you can actually hear what they're thinking being recited in your head. I also start to think about this kind of lifestyle in general. It only gets worse from here, right? I’m only sixteen years old and I’ve killed someone, and instead of doing the normal thing and calling the police after an intruder tried to rape me, we burried the body ourselves. That means if I’m ever in trouble, for any reason at all, I can’t call the police. I have to handle it myself. I have to be strong enough and wise enough to know what to do in those types of situations. The scariest thought of it all was, will I ever be? My door opened and it interrupted my train of thought and I stand and turn to face Leon who quickly glances down as if he was the one embarrassed to find me in a towel and he said “Can I talk to you?” I walk over to the doorway and said “If we’re not in a relationship, you should probably knock.” Then I shut the door. It wasn’t in a rude way, and it’s not like I slammed the door, I just shut it like any normal person would close a door at any ordinary circumstance. I immediately regretted it and felt like shit afterwards regardless, but at the same time I didn’t. Too many emotions to feel all at once and it made me feel like I just wanted to sleep for a month straight. As I nervously walk down the stairs I run into Mia and she says “You look pretty. Are you ready to go?” I said “You already knew I’m coming?” She said “We all do– except Vince. He’ll find out as soon as he meets us there though.” I said as Mia started walking down the hall “Is he going to be mad?” Mia stopped and turned around and slouched her shoulders at my question, and responded with “Lacey…… Who cares? He needs to stop smothering you. As much as I don’t want to necessarily be apart of this life either, I am. I need to be smart and taught and experienced with this life if shit ever goes down. Inevitably, you are part of this life too and you as well need to know the things we do, and be experienced.” I didn’t know Mia ever felt or thought this way. I wanted to change the topic and I was also extremely curious at this point what Leon wanted to talk about so I asked “Where’s Leon?” In hopes for it to be an exit strategy and to divert the attention to a different topic, and she responds with “Don’t worry about silly boys tonight, Lacey. It’s a girl’s night.” I said “With me, you, and who?” She said “Letty! Who else?” I said “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to have a quote on quote girl’s night.” Letty came up behind us, wrapped her arms around us both, looked at me and said “I’m not, thanks for noticing. Let’s go.” As we're sitting at the race surrounded by hundreds of strange happy faces, I feel a little uneasy. I wasn't behind the scenes like last time with Chandler, this time I was with the Toretto crew and part of the script. I was front and center of the action. Remember that night with Chandler when I said everyone's focus seemed to be gravitating to a certain spot, and that certain spot consisted of my family? Well, that's exactly what's happening now. I'm not blending in the crowd and being a looker tonight. I'm part of the show. Letty looked over at me and Mia and said "I'm gonna go talk to Leon about the borders for the location tonight." She left me and Mia alone which means she's going to start awkward conversation, and the words "Can I come to?" almost lifted off my tongue, because it would be an excuse to avoid small talk with Mia and to see Leon but they just didn't come in time. Mia had an annoying knack of making any conversation with her, despite the topic, pretty much awkward. She sat on the hood of Letty's car and tapped her hand next to her signaling for me to do the same. She said "Soooooo." I condenscendingly raised my eyebrows at her and expected her to finish her sentence without me having to do much talking. She said "Ok, hold up. Do not give me the same eyebrow look-thing that your brother gives me. You two are so much alike it's not even funny." I didn't say anything to that and she expected me to, and went along with what she was originally going to say. I guess Vince isn't much of a talker either, the way she implied we're just alike and expected me not to say anything. She cotinued and asked "So anyways, what's with you and Leon?" I was totally shocked by this question. Why would she even ask something like this? I responded "Nothing! Why would you even ask that?" She looked at me like she wanted to say that I was stupid or something and said "It's pretty obvious you have a crush on him the way you stare at him in awe like an alien spacecraft is landing right in front of you, and the way your eyes light up when anyone even mentions his name and don't think I never noticed how much you would stare at him when you worked in the cafe with me, and they would stop by for lunch." I was enraged at this point. How fucking dare she stick her nose where it doesn't belong. There's nothing going on between me and Leon, and even if there was it's none of her goddamn business. Is she the one who started raising suspicion and dropped the idea in Vince's head? She's starting drama for no reason. I've never had any personal beef with anyone in the family, but she's practically asking to be the first. I responded angrily and said "That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it?" I was trying to keep my cool even though on the inside I wanted to claw her fucking eyes out. She said "No, it goes exactly like that." I snapped after that response and said "Who fucking cares if I have a little crush on him? I'm allowed to think somebody is attractive without it being any thing more than that. You're honestly trying to create something out of nothing, and even if there was something going on between me and Leon it's none of your goddamn business. But there isn't so quit assuming. You never even talk to me, or Leon, how would you even know what's going on in our lives behind closed doors to make such an accusation?" Mia looked appalled by my response as if she didn't think I would stand up for myself in that manner or that I was going to take it that way at all. She said "Okay... I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to... Offend you." Before I could say anything I saw Letty and Leon approaching us which means the conversation definitely should come to a halt. I'm sure Leon could tell how pissed off I was because I felt heated and enraged on the inside. I could only imagine how red my face must have been due to the anger and slight embarassment. He asked me "You okay, Lacey?" I wasn't ready to answer because I could feel that irritating throat pain that signaled I was going to choke on my words from holding back the anger tears, but it didn't matter because before I could Dom called Leon over and he walked away. I could feel Mia's eyes piercing the back of my skull as she watched me watch him walk away. Later that night in the kitchen, Mia said "I am really sorry for just assuming there was something more with you and Leon." I said "He's just my friend.... I don't have very many. I don't want you to scare him away if he finds out I have a crush on him. He'll just think I'm some immature high school girl or something." I was really milking this lie to get Mia to leave the conversation alone. She said "I wasn't going to say anything either way, I just thought it was cute you have a little crush on him, but I am sorry for the way I approached the topic." She walked off and I started to feel bad for reacting the way that I did. Mia also has a knack for manipulating in some ways, and she can play with her words to make you feel however she wants you to feel. In this circumstance, it was guilt, and it worked. However, on the other hand I don't see why she even felt the need to bring it up in the first place, especially in a situation where anyone could overhear the conversation. Also, what does she mean she thinks it's cute that I have a crush on Leon? Would she think the same if she knew Leon had a crush on me too? Or if there was an actual secret intimate relationship going on between us? Probably not. So, the thought of that made me even more vexed. She knows there's an age difference, although it isn't drastic, it's still an age difference and I'm not eighteen. That's literally the only thing keeping us from being together right at this very moment, so the fact that she said the crush was cute sent rage up my spine. She wouldn't think it was so cute if the roles were reversed and knew Leon, the twenty year old liked me too. The double standard is sickening.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:

I went up to my room to lay down, and try to get myself over this sudden hatred for Mia, and then there was a knock at my door. I open it and it was Leon, and oddly enough, for once I wasn't expecting him because he usually doesn't come into my room this late at night so the suspicions of us being together don't rise, so it kind of threw me off a little bit. He said "Can I come in? I knocked this time." I laughed and said "Of course." As he walks in he sits down in the bean bag chair still in the middle of the room where Letty left it and he looked a little off. Something was bugging him but I'm not sure what it could be. He seemed fine a few hours ago. I sat down on the floor next to him and asked "Is everything okay?" He didn't make eye contact with me and instead, continued to look down at his feet and responded "It's just that... I... Never mind." I sat there puzzled because I didn't know what to do or how to respond. It's ususally him talking to me when I'm down and I'm rarely ever in these kinds of positions for anyone. He changed the subject though and asked "What are you up to tonight?" I said "this," as I pull my sketchbook off the desk of a drawing I was working on earlier today that I was legitimately planning on finishing tonight. He said "Looks nice." I said "Thanks." The awkward tension seemed a bit more heavy as the conversation didn't seem real and I can tell something was seriously wrong with him. He seemed very down, just by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, and his dead eyesight; staring at nothing and avoiding eye contact. I asked him "Are you sure everything's okay?" I wasn't expecting a genuine answer, but I asked just so he would get the hint that I'm aware something is really bugging him. He didn't respond right away, but instead he got up and started walking to the door, I was assuming he was going to leave, but he closed the door and stayed in my room. At this point I was anxious, not because Leon made me uncomfortable in any way, but because I have no idea where this is going and I don't like being put in the middle of situations right off the bat that could potentially go wrong. Not implying that this particular situation could go wrong, because I was content with Leon's prescence, I just was unsure about the motives at this point, and just him being in my room this late at night to begin with has already thrown me off. Leon reached for my hand and pulled me up from the floor as he sat down on my TV stand so we could be more eye-to-eye. He said "I've been thinking a lot lately." I didn't know what that meant even though I think I'm starting to get the idea. I didn't respond, and he grabbed both of my hands and rested them in his lap. He continued and said "I've been thinking about you." My heart started to flutter a mile a minute and I said "oh," simply because I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to respond because I wasn't expecting this at all. He continued and said "Ever since that night when you.. You know... I couldn't help but think to myself what if he had killed you? Or kidnapped you? All these scenarios kept playing in my head of what could've happened that night, and they all ended with "what if I never see you again?" I couldn't bare even the thought of that. I really, really like you. That night made me realize that we aren't promised two more years, we're not even promised tomorrow. Anything could happen between now and the next few hours. All I know is that.... I can't wait two more years, Lacey...." My heart felt like it was seriously about to beat out of my chest. Leon is basically implying that he can't wait two more years and that could only mean two possible things: either, he's basically saying lets get together now, or that we shouldn't be together at all. The vibe is leaning more towards the first possible outcome though. Leon slowly gazed his eyes to meet mine and I started to lean in closer as he grabbed my waist, but before we could kiss Leon's phone rang which caused me to jump. I read the caller ID and it said Vince. You have got to be kidding me right now! Is Vince a fucking psychic or something? It just infuriates me that of course Vince would be the one to interrupt us. The universe is playing games with me. I saw Leon's face grow with frustration as he sighed heavily and answered the phone. He said "What?" In a very monotone, but angry voice. He sighed even heavier and said "OK," then he hung up. He stood up and stared at me for a few short moments and said "I have to go." I said disappointed, "I figured." He asked "Can I come back later?" I just shook my head yes. Moments later I lay in my bed trying to wonder whether that really just took place or did I unknowningly take drugs that made me hallucinate? I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up later by Leon asking me to scoot over. I obviously didn't hesitate. He laid down next to me and I gave it a few moments before I decided to try anything just to see if he would first. I was surprised that he didn't. I wasn't expecting it or anything. I was just nervous. I saw Leon as this very experienced guy who doesn't know that I'm not so experienced. Was he expecting me to have superb sexual performance? Would I literally embarrass myself? After a little while of him not trying anything I thought that maybe he just assumed I was tired or something since I fell asleep while waiting on him. When I really fell asleep only so that time would go by faster instead of anxiously waiting and staring at the clock as the slow minutes passed. I fell asleep again while waiting on him to make the first move, because obviously at this point, nothing is going to happen unless I make that call and I was too damn scared to do so. A few hours later I woke up and was surprised to see him still laying next to me. I figured he would honestly just leave. I sat up and watched him sleep for a few short moments. Not in a creepy way, but in awe to his profound beauty, and that he was actually sleeping in my bed next to me and that this was really happening. I thought long and hard about the next move I should make, but regardless of how long and hard I thought about it, the more I felt myself trying to talk myself out of it. It was ultimately going to be a tough decision to make regardless of how much thought I put into it. So I decided to clear my head and just go for it. I slightly tap his shoulder and say his name to get his attention, and as he was slowly waking up, I sat on his lap and carressed his torso while I worked my way up to his lips. He barely had time to grasp what was happening but his hands slowly worked their way down my back to my waist as our tongues steadily locked with each other. I sat up and took my top off as he watched in admiration. He saw my tattoo and the nipple piercings for the first time and let out a big smile and jokingly said "So, that's what you got going on under there." I just smiled playfully back at him then he asked "So what do you wanna do?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I figured you would just take over at this point." He sat up with me still in his lap and began to kiss me again, as he worked his way down to my nipples, and he sucked on those for awhile. Then he put his right hand in my hair and gently tugged back, as he worked his way back up to my neck. Afterwards, he made eye contact with me and asked "Are you sure you really want to do this?" I whispered back to him through heavy gasps and said "Don't you want it too?" After that Leon bit his lip and flipped me over to my back without reluctance. I felt so numb to the rest of the world. In this very moment, it was just me and him. No problems existed. Worry free, and careless. In this moment, we were in our own euphoric little world. As it came time for the actual intercourse part, I remembered just how inexperienced I am and I increasingly grew nervous again as reality came back into play. It was finally the moment where Leon would see that I'm not as adept as I may portray myself to be. After all, I did make the first move and it was pretty bold. Therefore, he may be expecting that I have at least some experience. I've mentioned this before, but the kid whom I technically lost my virginity to only stuck it in once, broke my cherry and pulled it right back out immediately. The only experience I've had since then was with myself. I've stuck fingers in there quite a few times, but my tiny fingers couldn't compare to Leon's gurth. As he was about to slide it in, I panicked and said "Wait, no, stop." He looked confused and shocked and said "Is everything okay?" I said "Yeah..." He sat there for a moment and then asked "Lacey, are you... Are you a virgin?" I said "Not exactly..." He asked "What's that supposed to mean?" I began to explain to him the story of my first time and he said "That really sucks. I'm sorry he treated you that way." I said "It's okay, I guess. Nobody's first time is... Enjoyable, right?" He smirked and said "Not really." Then I confessed to him the reason I didn't tell him and said "I thought you might not want to do anything with me if you knew that I'm not... Experienced." Leon said "That's bullshit. I like you Lacey. I like you, for you, and I truly never compliment girls unless I feel they truly deserve them. I hate to sound so blunt and kind of like a dick, but if sex was all I wanted I could've easily called Monica, or one of her slutty friends and gotten laid without even having to take them out to dinner first. My point here is, I wouldn't have acted this nice, or worked this much to get to this moment if sex was all I wanted in the first place. Especially when there's girls I don't even have to work for at all. I really like you. I want more than just sex from you. I don't mind that you're inexperienced, it's okay. I'll just go slower than I intended." Then he paused for a short moment and asked "Do you want to continue tonight?" I eagerly shook my head yes, and he proceeded. He coached me through the entire experience until I had an orgasm. It was the greatest one I've ever experienced. I've never felt my body tingle so much before. In that moment I thought that maybe I never did orgasm before, this feeling was all so new. As I was climaxing Leon put his hand over my mouth to keep me from being too loud, but something about that I really liked, and not just because of the fact that it kept me from screaming and waking everybody up. Afterwards even touching my clit made me jump slightly because it was that sensitive at the moment. Leon lays down next to me and I asked him if he came, I don't know why, I felt stupid afterwards, and he shook his head no. I felt a little disappointed but then again, I came really fast, we weren't even going for longer than two minutes. Leon said "Don't worry about it. Tonight's not about me. It's about you." I said "I feel embarassed though. Why?" He said "I have no idea, but don't be. As a guy it's my job to get you to cum as many times as possible before I do." I smirked really big, and he began to ask questions about what experience I did have, which is barely any at all. He asked "So what all have you done before this?" I said "Nothing really." He asked "Have you ever been fingered?" I responded with "yes," then he asked "Do you finger yourself?" I laughed and said "Sometimes. I usually just rub the clit." Leon then asked "Have you ever been eaten out?" I responded with a "no," and Leon looked offended for me. He said "I feel like that ex-boyfriend of yours is lowkey gay and doesn't want to admit it." The conversation proceeded and he asked "So what all have you done to guys?" I said "Just a handjob." He said "So you never... You know..." I said "What? Sucked dick?" He shook his head 'yes' and I said "My ex-boyfriend always wanted me to, but he would like try to force it, and I didn't want to do it if it was forced, plus I was nervous about doing it in the first place so him forcing me to didn't make it easier." I confessed something as if it was so bawdy to say "But, I've practiced on banannas." Leon laughed and said "That's funny, but I'm sorry your ex-boyfriend was such an asshole." I said "It doesn't bother me anymore. I was young and dumb, and naive, and vulnerable. He knew that, and took advantage of that, but that's what opened my eyes and made me realize I shouldn't do things unless I want to." Leon asked "So he pressured you into losing your virginity?" I looked down and said "Yeah, pretty much. He had a way of making me feel guilty or like I did something wrong if I refused." He said "Lacey, that's lowkey rape." I said "Yeah, I guess." After a long pause he sighed and started to rub my stomach as I laid on my back and asked if I was ready to go again. I sat up and shook my head yes and said "But I want to try something first." He asked "What?" I said "I want to.... Try.. Sucking your dick." Leon laughed, probably at how innocent and inexperienced I sounded saying that and then he sat up and said "Lacey, it's not necessary. Don't do it unless you really want to." I said "I do. I really want to. If any dick is ever going to be in my mouth I'd want it to be yours. Besides, you're not forcing it." Leon kind of chuckled and said "Are you sure?" I shook my head yes. I have no idea what made me want to do this, it really was a spontaneous desicion, but so was this whole situation and if I'm gaining experience here, I might as well gain as much as I can. As I get on my knees and Leon stands there towering over me, I start to get nervous as it was about to go down so I cleared my head and just went with it. I started sucking just the tip and realized it wasn't that bad and then I looked up to Leon and the look on his face looked as if he was really enjoying this so I thought to myself that I must be doing it right. I mean, there wasn't really a way you could fuck something as simple as this up, right?  Leon looked down at me and said "I wanna see how far down you can go." So I went down as I would on the bananas that I practiced on for this very moment. I didn't gag at all and I was able to go all the way down. This made Leon nearly estatic. I found it very odd that I didn't have a gag reflex when I would suck on bananas.. and now dicks, but if something disgusting like nasty food was in my mouth I would suddenly have a gag reflex. That's exactly what happened when Leon came in my mouth, I gagged, but I swallowed it. Leon said "I'm really sorry, I really should've asked if you ready for... That part." I laughed nervously and said "It's okay." I mean, overall it really was, I just wasn't expecting it. Leon stood me up and laid me down on the bed, I thought we were going to go again but he started kissing my stomach and rubbing my nipples, and the kisses made my body tingle more and more the lower he got. As he got to my pantie line he said "I'm going to return the favor." He wrapped my legs around his neck and before I knew it his tongue was caressing every crevice where I've felt no tongue before. I closed my eyes and could instantly feel myself get wetter and wetter. My hand naturally fell to Leon's head as I held on to locks of his hair. Next thing I knew I was yanking on a pillow to shield my moans as my whole body was shaking. A few moments later, Leon lays down next to me as he's rubbing my body all over and asked "So how was that?" I couldn't even get a word out because I was so out of breath, and Leon chuckled and said "I'll take that as a "great."" I honestly didn't really have much strength left in me to continue, and Leon and I just cuddled naked for the rest of the night until he left at 6AM. He had to just in case someone woke up and realized he wasn't in his room or something. We just wanted to take every precaution necessary since we're going serious now. Especially since prior to even being serious there was already speculations. It's just really wise for both of us to not fall asleep in the same bed all night.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR:

[makadelikz]

the secrets we keep updated 3/19/2018

The Secrets We Keep

Welcome to Clear Creek University. It is not the average university you think of when you hear that word—with collegiate football teams, and high end advanced classes. Clear Creek isn't just a boarding school where wealthy parents send their children to, it's open to families of all finanical backgrounds if they are eligible for something the school likes to call "standard privilage." The school was originally opened in 1842 as a hospital, it became a hospital for the mentally impaired in 1920, and the hospital was shut down between the years of 1933-1935 due to patient abuse, that and the Great Depression made it extremely hard to operate a hospital, especially for the mentally impaired. Society didn't quite deem the mentally impaired as 'people.' Some patients went missing and were never found and any record of having that patient seemed to have mysterously disappeared as well, the ones who were found didn’t live long to tell what happened, or returned much more impaired than in which they had left. All doctors and nurses had went to trial—the trial is infamously known as “The Shirestown Trial of 1936” none of them were charged with anything due to the lack of evidence, what really happened at the hospital remains a mystery to this very day. After the hospital was shut down, the empty soul lurking buildings remained standing and abandoned until it opened as a high school in 1956. However, the school was not open for very long before missing teenage faces were on milk cartons and newspapers. Just before investigation of the school could begin a fire broke out demolishing half of the school. The remains were left untouched for several years. The people of Shirestown considered the land to be possessed, and unwelcoming of all kinds. Witchcraft was what they blamed it on, although no physical evidence was ever recovered as to what exactly happened all those years of unsolved mysteries. Today is August 4th, 2012 and the school was rebuilt, they recovered the demolished buildings and modernized the other buildings that were unharmed in the fire. It has been many years since the last incident, although the infamous happenings remain a big deal to Shirestown, the new generation of people don’t seem to care much, the people who didn’t live in Shirestown either completely forgotten, or never even knew. The first official day back to school is August 20th and I and many other people I know will be attending Clear Creek this year. I seem to be the only one who knows about the school’s brutal history so I tried not to think about it.

CHAPTER ONE:

My name is Lacey Maree Schulze. I was born here in West Chester, Pennsylvania. It’s a small town where everyone knows everyone; however it isn’t as small as people think considering we are only an hour, or one train ride, outside the huge city of Philadelphia. Usually when people ask me where I am from I just say ‘Philly’ because a lot of people have never heard of West Chester. I am currently sixteen years old, my birthdate is the eighth of January and my former school East High is being shut down, it was the only high school in my town, the closest high school in range available to the town of West Chester is six miles away in a very small town called Shirestown. The town is much smaller than West Chester; in fact it is so small if you are driving through and blink once, you will miss the whole town. Ever since I was little I was used to being the center of attention, because I was my father’s only child and none of his friends have any children, so I was practically everyone’s child. In school I am considered ‘popular’ because I have an enormous amount of friends and it has been that way since the beginning of Junior High. I guess I have a lot of people who don’t necessarily like me, because I know I come off as intimidating to most, and a bitch, but I love meeting new people, and I usually accept everyone. I don’t label myself as anything, and I don’t like others who do, I hate cliques, and everyone who generally abides by them. My boyfriend Chris and I have been dating for almost two years, but we have known each other ever since we were practically in diapers; Chris is the same age as me. He says we met by fate. I don’t believe too much in that sort of stuff, but for his sake I always nod, smile, and agree with him. We have the exact same birthday so, I guess it could be written off as fate in a way. Some of the townspeople have even talked down about my father, saying things along the lines of “what father would be okay with his daughter dating a boy like that?” Simple because Chris has tattoos, and is written off as the "bad guy." Although my dad has never seemed to care about what they had to say I knew deep down it bothered him. He hated whenever people tried to tell him what to do especially when it came to me. My mother was never around when I was growing up, and that hasn’t changed to this day, so I guess you can say my father got a lot of shit from the unpleasent people of the town, but oh he loved to rub it in their faces that he was one of the wealthier people in the town. My dad said he isn’t intentionally “showing off” he was just giving them a reason to keep him relevant. He always told me that I couldn’t stop people from talking, so you might as well give them something good to talk about.

CHAPTER TWO:

I wake up to the smell of freshly made coffee, and breakfast. I didn’t want to leave my bed because I knew today was the day; the day I had to leave my father and go to a school I was not really looking forward to going to at all. My father and I are extremely close, he literally is my best friend there wasn’t a thing I kept from him and to have to go to some boarding school in a town possibly inhabited by a bunch of inbred, country-bumpkins was devasting. My father knocks and comes into my room surprised to see me already awake this early in the morning and tells me that breakfast is ready, before he could leave my room, I stopped him and said “Daddy, I don’t want to leave you” this caused him to freeze in his tracks, and I swear I could see his eyes start to get glossy from the puddles of tears forming, but he got himself together before he let a single one fall down his cheek. He always did that. He would never let me see him cry, but just this once I wish I could, simply because it would show how much he would miss me, and validate the fact that he’s actually human. I know this probably sounds really weird and possibly a bit morbid but like I said, my father and I are really close and there isn’t a thing he doesn’t know aboout me and there isn’t a thing I don’t know about him– except what his eyes look like when he cries. Does he cry? Does he cry himself to sleep so I don’t have to see or hear? The thought of my dad not showing any emotion was actually more devasting to me than if I had actually seen him cry. It made me think he lost contact to any sort of feelings he once had and now his only child was going to some boarding school that he won’t see again until Thanksgiving. I was probably much more concerned about leaving him behind more than he was about me leaving. My father sat down at the end of the bed and looked up at me and said “Lacey, I know this is hard for you but you know you can always call me no matter what, and six miles really isn’t that far. You’ve been attached to my hip since the day you were born, this experience could be good for you.” I know he was only saying this because as a father he has to encourage his child to go to school and prepare for the real world, but I know deep down inside he didn’t want me to leave either. Sixteen years raising a child all by yourself is a long time, and to just give your child away for a few months is hard. I asked him “But is this hard for you?”. He hesitated to answer and said “Of course it is, you’re my only child, but like I said this experience will be good for you." I just gave him this look, the look I always give him when I wasn't pleased about something, but it was never in a bratty sort of way, he just knew me all too well. He added "I'll tell you what... If you can manage to go to Clear Creek up until Thanksgiving and you still aren't pleased, I will homeschool you, okay?" I said "Okay" even though home school wasn't exactly my cup of tea either, I wanted the cake and eat it too. I wanted my friends, and I wanted my home. To me his response wasn’t good enough though. I wanted him to cry and tell me that he would miss me, but of course he had to be the ‘tough guy’ that he is and not even show the slightest bit of emotion. My father is not an ordinary father, he is a martial artist and has studied the arts of many MMA styles such as Karate, and Brazillian Jiu Jitsu. He now teaches classes from time to time sharing the art of BJJ with others. He also is a knife craftsmen, he designs his own hunting knives and even has his own logo. Among his many talents, one that he rarely talks to me about is when he toured with bands back in the day as their “fill-in” guitarist and back-up singer. I went on tour with him, but he never tells me much of any of the stories when I would ask since I was too young to remember any of it. I honestly don’t know why he doesn’t talk about those days, but seeing how I can’t get him to even tell me a simple story asking him “why not” would be stupid. However, from time to time I see him pick up and dust off his guitar and play it- He would even often play the piano. I was going to miss my father and his randomness, and odd career choices.

CHAPTER THREE:

HONK!! HONK!! Was the sound of Chris' car horn that was alerting me that he was here to pick me up. I was still inside packing a few more things, and then Chris runs up the stairs to help me carry stuff to the car. He picks me up and twirls me around and then kisses my forehead and asked if I was ready. I said  “Well, kind of, you know we aren’t supposed to leave for another hour or so.” He said “Well, we can get there early, get checked in early, have sex in my dorm room, and get there before our other roommates do so we can get the better beds.” I smiled and giggled at the same time and then kissed him and said “I think I like the sex part the best” And he smiled and said “I think I do too” and then winked at me. I made my way down to the kitchen while Chris carried my stuff (he offered) because of course I had to say one last goodbye to my father, and I hugged him so tightly I didn’t want to let him go. I was hoping this could make him cry, but I’m the one who ended up crying instead. He grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes and said “Cheer up Pumpkin. It’s all going to be okay.” I heard his voice crack, and that was good enough for me. That was the closest moment I had ever gotten to seeing my dad show even the slightest bit of a sad emotion. It actually made my heart sink. Maybe seeing my dad cry isn’t something I want or even need to see at all. He’s the strong one, and carries both of our burdens. For him to break down will be a whirlwind of complexity and depression, probably on both our ends. He walked me to the car and kissed me on the top of the head, he looked over to Chris and said “Take care of my daughter”. Chris replied with “Of course, Matt.” and my dad gave him this look, maybe he was confused as to why Chris called him by his first name for once. As we drove off I looked at Chris and said “Matt? Since when do you call him by his first name?” Chris said “I don’t know it just rolled off my tongue I wasn’t even thinking about it. Why does he not like to be called by his first name?” I said “No, it’s just weird because you never say his name. It’s like you always try to avoid calling him anything, you just get his attention and talk." He said “Whatever, your dad is an intimidating man, so I tend to get my social skills all fucked up sometimes around him.” I said "Well, relax, my dad likes you." Chris just looks at me with this brag-like sort of smile as if he was thinking "How could he not like me?" A mile or so into the drive it gets quiet between me and Chris so I start thinking. I think about a number of things; for instance, the haunted school we're about to be spending the next year of our lives at, the boring drive, missing my dad, and the fact that the car was so packed we barely had room to even sit. I have a lot of clothes, accessories, and items that I wanted to take with me, it’s not a camping trip, I am practically moving, and so is Chris so he brought a lot of shit too. The drive progressively grew boring, but I guess that’s because after thinking so much I drifted into a heavy sleep most of the way. We stopped at a gas station five and a half miles in.  We were almost there, but Chris felt it was necessary to stop and pee, and fill up his tank for whatever reason. It wasn’t even half empty. The town this gas station was in could hardly even be considered a town, it was just another really small town that probably wasn’t even on a map of this area. Of course the gas station was ran by some busted looking hick, who had a mouthfull of chewing tobacco and a toothpick, and of course spit regularly into a water bottle, which to me is even more gross. I rather see you spit on the ground than collect it all into a bottle. I didn’t like the way he stared at me. I was used to men staring at me, but they never stared this long and hard, because I was always with my father. I wasn’t doubting Chris' ability to protect me, but I was really missing my father, especially right now. The gas station clerk asked us where we were headed. I refused to talk to this man so I didn’t answer inevitably causing Chris to answer for us. Once we had told him where we were going he looked shocked, and said “Them people is ghosts up der. Ain’t nuttin but a town filt with devil worshipen crackas. Me and my kin stay 'way from dat place and anybody who commute to there.” His illiterate grammar gave me a headache, but I think it was all an act. I’m good at picking up on suspicious things. I can usually read anybody like a book. Nobody who talks like that says the word 'commute’. So, of course, me and my mouth just had to make a smart ass comment; “Commute? That’s a big word "ain’t” it?.“ and I sort of chuckled to myself, but then I look up to realize that again he was staring at me, but this time as if he wanted to hurt me as if I blew his cover on some top secret operation. I looked at Chris and said "Can we fucking leave now…?”

When we arrived we were some of the very few who showed up early. We checked in, verified that we were in the school’s system, and got our room numbers and keys. Obviously the boy dorms and the girl dorms were separated which sucked because Chris had to walk across campus for late night booty calls. After getting our room numbers and keys me and Chris parted ways, and I noticed that for whatever reason this school kept Upperclassmen, and Underclassmen apart as much as possible. Which I mean, I guess I could understand why but the school seemed a bit too segregated in that manner in my opinion. As I got to my room on the third floor, in room 326, I was the first to arrive. There were three beds; two were combined as a bunk bed. And the other was a single double sized mattress, and that is obviously the one I chose. The beauty of being first is amazing. I unpacked a lot of things. I unpacked clothes first, there were two closets to choose from, one was really big, and the other one was average. I obviously chose the really big one, because with the amount of clothes I owned I needed a lot of space, but then I realized that I should probably switch to the small one and condense because the big one was obviously meant for the two who basically had to share a bed. I have a heart sometimes. I felt bad for them, not only does one have to sleep above the other, but now they had to share a closet too. As soon as I was done unpacking my closet clothes I put some clothes such as pants, shorts, t-shirts, bra and underwear in the dresser that was already provided. I unpacked some posters, and some pictures. On the desk looking out the window on my side of the room was a picture frame that held four pictures, and they were all of the people I cared about most. Picture number one was me and my daddy, picture two was me and Chris, picture three was my pets. Three dogs and one cat named Batou, and picture four was me and some of my closest friends: Chris, Quinn, Aidon, Joe, Keith, Megan, Niki, Donna, Chandler, Taylor and Hannah. It took me about an hour to unpack, and I sat there for about twenty minutes before I called Chris because nobody had showed up to my room yet. “Hey babe, I am thinking about your sex request now, I unpacked every-thing.” Chris said “Well damn I was just about to call you and say pretty much the same thing.” I said “Do you wanna fuck in your room or my room?" He said “My room, so I don’t have to walk.” And I said “You son of a bitch.” And then giggled. I hung up the phone went to the other side of campus and went to the upperclassmen building for boys. Went all the way up to room 613, all the buildings were basically laid out like hotels. I found Chris alone naked in his bed waiting for me. He was so damn goofy he always had to make things really awkward. I said "What if one of your roommates walked in before me?" He said "That would've been very awkward, I didn't think that far ahead, but you can't blame me becuase I was just thinking about you."

CHAPTER FOUR:

After we finished Chris walked me down to the center of campus where the cafeteria is and where they have concession stands up for everyone’s first unofficial day. They had snow cones, popcorn, and cotton candy. Chris bought us snow cones and while we walked and ate our delicious frozen treats, Chris came up with the suggestion to go up to my room to see if anyone arrived yet. I thought it was a good idea, even though I was extremely nervous. I am not a shy person, I am just a bitch to some people that I first meet only because I don’t want them to mistake the kindness the real me somewhat possesses as a weakness. I'm also very cautious and anxious when it comes to change, and meeting new people is hard for me to do. I just don't like opening up so it's easier to surround myself with people I'm already comfortable with and who already know the real me. As we walk into my room, my heart drops, of course I had to be expecting the worst circumstances, and I got the worst roommate ever. I see a tall, very thin, but very fit with big, juicy boobs, and a nice ass obviously from squatting religiously, Caucasian girl with long bleached blonde hair that had a pink bow in it, with blue eyes, and brown eyebrows indicating her hair color was as fake as her lips and boobs. The jacket she was wearing said ‘CHEER’ in bold pink bubble letters on the back of it. I can already tell from just her appearance that I don’t like this girl. I look at some of her possessions; and all I see so far is everything pink, expensive, and cheerleader related. She is a preppy cheerleader who fits her stereotype extremely well. Since I didn’t say anything at all, and I kind of stood there staring at her with this expression of disgust on my face, I think this girl already knows I don’t like her, so Chris did the honors of talking to her first. “Uhmm, hi… I’m Chris, and this is my girlfriend Lacey who is your roommate.” She said “Nah, I thought YOU were my roommate, anyways, I’m Elena.” I still stand in silence. She says in a very condenscending tone “Is your girlfriend a mute?” I said “Listen here bitch, don’t you even fucking try me or I will make your life here a living hell.” She stands there except only she’s the one in silence now with a shocked facial expression to the fact that she didn’t think I would stand up to her. Chris walks me out of the room trying to brush the situation off and talks to me in the hallway after closing the door behind him. "Lacey, you need to chill and calm down, after all she is your roommate, and you kind of have to deal with her.” I said “Chris are you fucking kidding me, I hate her already, did you not see her, she’s a daddy credit card spending, cheerleading, bitch.” Chris implies“Maybe she isn’t as bad as she seems at first, maybe you have to get to know her.” I responded “Babe, you know me, and you know damn well that I am probably, most likely, not going to get along with that girl at all.” Chris said “Well babe, maybe she is putting on a front, maybe you intimidated her like everyone else is with you at first, think about it, you’re extremely gorgeous, and she isn’t ugly, but compared to you she’s a solid 5.5. After all you like to put on the bad bitch front with new people too, just to show them you don’t play around, which is true, but it is also a front.” I thought about what Chris said and he is kind of right. After standing in the hall way we walk back to the courtyard where they were serving all the first unofficial day junk food, and where people were mingling and making new friends, the other people who were less social were sitting alone or walking around campus getting a good recap of the layout. An announcement came on and it repeated three times. It stated “Everyone report to their assigned dining hall for dinner. Underclassmen are Dining Hall B, and Upperclassmen is Dining Hall A”. As Chris and I walk into Dining Hall A, we meet up with all of our friends in excitement that we are all together. I look around and I see gigantic windows that take up most of the wall space that surround 2/4 of the dining hall. Outside the windows I see a bunch of trees in the distance, it’s like a forest, inside the dining hall there are round tables that hold seven chairs each, but as people got together with their friends they were pulling the tables together making them larger to fit more people. Of course we did the same with our friends the “Party Crew” was a huge group, we even had underclassmen in our crew, but they were obviously in the other dining hall which was really on the other side, the only thing separating the two dining halls were two double-sided doors. As I was looking around and observing, something didn’t feel right, and the administrators and teachers who sat in an isolated room didn’t seem right either, I never liked teachers, so the negative vibe I am getting is probably normal, and other than the creepy teachers, and the not so enchanted forest outside the windows it feels like a normal high school, with your average cliques, and annoying people. Some of our friends weren’t eating because they had already eaten before they got here. So our tables were reserved. We talked as a group and we all made the deal to start yelling party crew to let the other people in this school know we run this place now, that is usually how it works with party crew. I thought the idea was rather stupid, but whatever, what will it hurt? We got in line and we were obviously expecting the average shitty school food, because after all this was a school, but instead we got real meals, and it was fantastic, it wasn’t school food pizza, it was like hot fresh pizza, there were cheeseburgers that were obviously grilled, and teriyaki chicken. Of course there were like a million sides, and the line was set up like a buffet it even had a dessert line at the end. The soft drinks and waters were always free and the meals were only free during the times they were being served. So, basically if you were hungry throughout the day then you had to buy a meal. after all the cafeteria people need money too. I had completely forgotten about the creepy teachers, until I noticed them again as I was walking back to my table, some of the guy teachers were staring at me in a really perverted way, I tried brushing it off as it’s just my mind fucking with me because I really want my daddy here, but I truly felt completely uncomfortable, I grabbed Chris' hand and some of them even look mad or depressed. Definitely hoping and praying I don’t get any of them as teachers.

CHAPTER FIVE:

After we had eaten our dinner the Upperclassmen Principals introduced themselves, there was Mr. Bennett, and Ms. Shiver. After the awkward introduction they told us to go back to our dorm lobbies to meet our dorm counselors and hear the guidelines and rules. Chris grabbed me by the waist and turned me around before we left and made out with me, I said “Have fun meeting your other roommates since you avoided going back to your room since we got here.” He said “Have fun dealing with your roommate and meeting your other one.” I smiled and kissed him one more time. After he turned around and walked away, I noticed the teachers again—staring. I walk back to my dorm lobby and find all my friends—fellow members of party crew. Each member of party crew has their own interesting style, and background, and that was truly one of the main reasons why I loved our crew so much. That's what made us so different than all of the other average cliques. There was a lot of diversity, we all accepted each other’s differences. We all have different cultural backgrounds and all, but to us that didn’t matter. We actually considered ourselves a family. I hear this screech, a familiar screech, from behind me, it was from my friend Niki, fellow member of Party Crew. I was so happy to actually see her and it has been awhile. Me and her sat in the back of the lobby with a few other Party Crew members and talked, and talked, and talked. I didn’t mind because the only information they gave that I found to be relevant was that “Lights Out” was at 11pm, where they would lock the entire building and the doors would only be able to be opened from the inside but Niki shared with me that she had spent her afternoon looking for ways to sneak back into the building even after “light’s out”, which was rather good news since I got a text from Chris bragging about his perfect roommate arrangement since he got two of our good friends, and as well, party crew members, Keith and Quinn and that they found a place to throw amazing parties, but it’s a bit of ways off campus… through the woods. I was not stoked about this information at all. Knowing what I know about this lands history, trotting through the woods in the middle of the night was nowhere near my ideal of fun. I rather get caught having sex with Chris in a janitor's closet and kicked out of school for it. However, nobody else seemed to have known about the history of the place except for me so I contained my paranoia and pretended to be excited about this. I told Niki about our plan and she was stoked. I asked Chris if there was room for a few more and he said of course. I was actually a bit shocked that he didn’t ask me who I was inviting along, but since I’m in a room filled with estrogen raging females I’m sure he didn’t assume it was some random dude.

CHAPTER SIX:

The one last relevant thing the counselors said is where we had to pick up our class schedules for tomorrow, and then it hit me. This actually IS school. We went back to our rooms and there I found Hannah unpacking. Hannah West is one of my very best friends besides Niki. I screamed and jumped up and down at the fact we were roomies. I exclaimed “Oh my God, Hannah it’s you!" She said “Oh thank God I have you as a roommate I thought I was going to be stuck with this preppy bitch and someone else I didn’t know.” I laughed because I knew she was going to hate our roommate too, and it was hysterical that’s the first thing she said. Although, I do feel bad for her in a way, downstairs in the lobby during oreintation she didn’t talk to anyone at all, you would think a girl like her would definitely have someone to talk to. “So, Hannah why are you showing up so late?” I asked and she said “My fucking mom was strung out all day so I had to wait for my mom’s boyfriend to get off work to drive my ass here, it’s so weird how my junkie mother has the sweetest and somewhat attractive boyfriend. I know I would miss oreintation and dinner so I brought snacks, what time did they say "lights out” was?“ I said "“Lights out” is 11:00 PM. Also, it’s perfect that you have snacks. Chris texted me and said Keith and Quinn found the perfect place to get stoned, have parties, get drunk, and SWIM, just a mile or so outside of campus, but not outside campus gates so, technically we’re not leaving campus, and it is the first night so if we do get caught we can just say we got lost, also nobody else knows I brought weed yet....." She replied “Oh my God! You have weed!! Thank GOD! I am sooo happy about this, I bought two bottles of Captain too, so me and you can get cross faded. Also, are you sure it isn’t outside campus gates?” I said “HELL YEAH!!! and I don’t know Chris said that he was told it was fifteen feet away from a gate so technically it isn’t that far outside campus gates." She asked “Who else is going?” I said “It’s going to be me, you, Niki, Chandler, Quinn, Keith, Chris, and Kyler. You can text Joe if you want and bring him along, but I’m pretty sure one of the guys probably already told him.” She said “Nah, me and Joe haven’t really talked since end of summer party last weekend.” I asked “Oh, why not?" She said "Just some… bullshit drama as usual.” I said “Oh okay well hopefully tonight makes you feel better” She quietly responds with “I hope.” Chris called me right after “lights out” and said that him, Quinn, and Keith were all ready to go, they were just waiting on us to tell them we were ready. Me and Hannah got ready and went down the hall to Niki’s room to get her but she was already walking down the enormous hall way to meet up with us. We met the boys in the center of campus, and everyone greeted Hannah. “Hannah!? Is that you? I was beginning to think you weren’t coming!” said Kyler. “Nope, I’m here I was just really late.” Hannah said then laughed. Chris said “Well if we actually want to have some fun tonight we should probably not be standing in the middle of campus and we should probably start walking.” We were walking for quite some time before we actually got there. The spring was beautiful and enormous, but also very dark. There was no civilization this far out in the woods, there were no lights except for our flaslights. I will admit I was scared beyond beleif but felt better knowing I wasn’t alone. Chris popped opened Hannah’s bottle of Captain Morgan and we all started taking shots. Quinn was the first to jump in the water. More and more followed after that including myself. I remember feeling after a few shots that it was starting to feel like home again, Party Crew was together as usual getting drunk, getting high, and having a good time. The water was freezing. I jumped in and felt the blood within me turn to ice, my heart starting pumpig blood eratically because of how cold I was. We weren’t in the water a long time before Kyler yelled for everyone. “Hey guys!!! Come check this shit out!” yelled Kyler. It was extremely dark, without flashlights we would’ve been walking in the shoes of blind men. we all jumped out of the water as fast as we could, no one wanted to admit it but it felt strange to be swimming in the water, there was a strange vibe, and I could tell just by seeing their facial expressions when getting out. I could only get a glimpse though, shining flashlights into people’s faces can change their expression instantly, either that or they put their hand over their face. Of course each and every one of our THC fogged minds didn’t think about bringing towels or anything to keep us warm and dry afterwards, and we did have the idea that swimming would be involved. I can feel the goosebumps start from my neck and travel their way down my spine eventually arriving at my toes. My whole body felt frozen. We were walking in our underwear, because as well we didn’t think of bringing anything to swim in, it was also because of the fact that we couldn’t carry too much with us in case we got caught. “Look at how huge it is! It doesn’t even look that run down. I think we could turn this old farm house into a party house. I mean, we can skip class and come out here, and chill, we could sneak out at nights, especially on weekends and throw some bomb ass parties out here.” Kyler said. “This is why you are a key member to party crew my friend.” Quinn said. “Holy shit this is perfect” Chris said. I added “But it looks really old, and scary. What if it is covered in spiders, mice, racoons, or anything else that could be deadly and scary.” Chris said “You are such a girl when it comes to those things.” I said “No shit, those things are disgusting, and how do we even know this house is stable? It could collapse right on to us." Kyler said “Those things are disgusting, I agree with you, but we could come back during the day– one of these days, and clean the place up. And well one of us will have to be ballsy enough to test the stability of the upstairs and if we can walk around without any problems we should be good, I mean just look at the house, it doesn’t even look run down, it’s weird actually and a bit freaky.” Niki said “I’m about it but only after the place is fixed up a bit.” I felt really nervous because staring at this house gave me chills, something felt wrong about it. I am usually never scared like this, nothing scares me. But this old wooden farm house gave me chills and again I know the history of this land. Especially at nighttime this place looks very grotesque. Kyler did point out something extremely observant, but I don’t think he even realized it, that the house doesn’t look run down at all. I researched a lot about the Shirestown area before coming here. This area was abadoned after all the mysterious tragedies that have occured here, all roads that led to housing in this area were demolished, it is so weird how you can just walk a mile or two from the school campus where all the mysterious tragedies have occured to the vacant place with abandoned homes, this house belonged to an old neighborhood within Shirestown that is no longer on the map. “Guys, we should be heading back soon, I am pretty tipsy, and the first official day of school is tomorrow, and I would like to look at least somewhat decent instead of looking like a hot mess with a hangover.” Not only what I said was true, but it was also the perfect excuse to get the hell out of there. We all went back to our rooms, and Chris thought of this as a perfect opprotunity to spend the night with me. We had sex, again. It was going to feel weird not sleeping by his side. I am so used to it, even him just being in a different building that is walking distance away felt miles away. After we finished I looked at the time, it was 3:30 AM and we had to wake up at 6:00 AM. Chris had to wake up even earlier to sneak back into the boys dorm before the counselors arrived. With the mixture of alcohol and marijuana, Chris and Hannah we’re knocked out really fast. I as well was under the influence of both substances but had a hard time falling asleep, my buzz completely worn off by the time that I did. The last time I saw on the clock was 4:20 AM…. today is going to be a shitty day.

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Apparentaly I slept through my alarm and I wake up to a grumpy bleached blonde and tan skinned roommate standing at the foot of my bed. I said to myself “Oh shit it’s Elena.” and she said “Is that a boy?” I said sarcasticaly “No, it’s my ugly step-sister.” She rolled her eyes becuase of my sarcasm, but I on the other hand was actually pretty proud of my sarcasm, especially when I said sarcastic things without even trying. Sarcasm has become second nature to me and I have to say I'm not ashamed of that, saying something sarcastic despite my current mood, lack of sleep, and dreadful hangover I am still a witty sarcastic person. She said “You do know he cannot be in here, right?” I said kind of angrily towards her “No shit, that is why nobody has to know, right?” She said “I didn’t see anything.” and smiled and walked across the hall into the bathroom to get ready for today. I thought to myself that it is very weird how nice she was being. I was pretty fucking rude to her yesterday and I never got the chance to apoligize so maybe this is her way of showing me that she’s actually pretty cool. However, I didn’t care to even think about it too much at that moment in time due to my throbbing headache. I leaned over Chris' back and kissed his left cheek repeatedly until he woke up. I said “Baby, I don’t mean to rush you or anything but we slept in a litte bit and it’s almost 6:15 so you should probably haul ass back to your dorm.” He shot up and said “Oh shit!” Then put on his clothes, kissed me, and hauled ass like I suggested. Campus monitors like to catch the people running from dorms they shouldn’t have even been at, especially this early in the morning, so I was hoping he’d make it back alright. I reassured my hope by saying “It’s the first day of school I doubt they’d be checking right now." I dreaded the getting ready process because I was just not into it, however I had no excuse to just stay in bed and sleep all day because it’s not like I missed the bus, or my dad’s car broke down, I am living at school now and it is the first day. I brushed my teeth, I’m not sure if it was the mint from the toothpaste or the sound of running water that woke me up but I was feeling a bit more energized. I didn’t feel like doing anything fancy with my makeup, because I still feel a bit intoxicated, and I don’t really have the time for it. I just did a simple winged eyeliner, and mascara, and touched up the eyebrows of course, because besides the wings of my eyeliner being perfectly even, the eyebrows are the most important part. As I walked back into the room to find an outfit I found Hannah doing her makeup, I was going to wake her up myself, but shockingly Elena was kind enough to wake her up as well. I put on a pair of black yoga pants leggings, and a Victoria’s Secret “PINK” zip-up jacket which was ironically light blue, with a pair of white sandals. At least the shoes showed off my cute pedicure. Hannah walks in behind me and asks if she could borrow my Wu-Tang Clan crop top and black boots, and of course I said she could. We were the same size in everything. We wore the same size shoes, t-shirts, and pants, and we both stand at 5'3'', we put a literal meaning to the saying "two peas in a pod." I didn’t think of it at first, but the thought of why she asked me to borrow clothes came to mind breifly later that day. It didn’t bother me though. “Hey Hannah, do you wanna go get a coffee and like a bagel or something, because I feel like shit” I asked and she said “I was hoping you’d ask before they stopped serving it for free.”

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I have not seen any of the creepy teachers I had seen last night during dinner. Besides from the great quality food, and living on campus it started to feel like a normal first day of school. Everyone was running around campus, looking for their friends, classes, and everyone had backpacks on, but I mostly see cliques. Not sure if it was the hangover, or the fact that people tend to segregate themselves unknowingly, but I felt the need to vomit everywhere. Once Hannah and I eat, I text Chris asking if he got back okay, it took him awhile to text back which made me nervous, but I tried to calm myself down by assuring myself that he’s probably in the shower and getting ready or something. When he did text back he told me that everything was okay and that he did get back without being caught. He had to call Quinn to open the door for him. We all meet up about twenty minutes later and we all look like fucking shit, so I felt good knowing I’m not the only one who looks like a hot mess on the first day of school, but hell who did I need to impress anyway? We all got our schedules and breifly went over them to see if we had any classes together. I was so relieved that me and Chris had four classes together, but unfortuantely not all of them. My first period is  Chemistry and I'm so exhilerated that Chris and I have this class together because it's the first class of the day, however he isn’t here yet because he had to go talk to the Dean in his office because of a complication on his schedule. Apparently he doesn’t have a class he signed up for. Anyways, I of course saved Chris a seat next to me and waited for him to get here. However, I was not expecting some douchey, dirty blonde hair, blue-eyed jock who tries way too hard for the look of "I didn't do anything with my hair" but he actually spent about thirty minutes on it, preppy type asshole to move my bag and sit next to me. I tried to get him to move but he refused to listen. Fortunately, Aidon walked in and told him to get up and to leave me alone. I don’t know why he listened to Aidon, who was a lot smaller, and definitely lacked as much muscle than him, but he did and he pretended to hit Aidon, but Aidon didnt flinch, instead he laughed and said “If only you took your GPA as seriously as you did a fucking chair.” Aidon may be small, and quite petite for 16 year old boy, but he is pretty tall, and his words sometimes are all it takes. The things he says are pretty intimidating. He’s not that nice of a guy when it comes to people who aren’t his friends, well to be completely honest he's an asshole unless he likes you as a person, so if you don't know him or don't have a general idea of who he is, well then you probably think he's a complete dick and can be really cocky at times. No pun intended. He sat down next to me and said “I’ll sit here until Chris comes back because I wouldn’t want to beat some ass today.” Couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious, or was just facetiously serious due to the fact that’s how he always is. However, unfortunately I know, and Aidon knows that there’s no way he could physically beat that jocky douche-bag, he could definitely mentally beat him, but there’s no way he could beat him physically. That jocky douche whose name I later found out was Zack, probably bench presses more than half of Aidon’s entire body weight. I asked Aidon why he did not join us last night, who fortunately for him, isn’t hungover on the first day. He said “I didn’t wanna be hungover on the first day of school.” Then he just looks at me with this 'I am disappointed in you’ face, but of course he was being facetious about it, I think. Quinn walks in and saves Aidon a seat after he realizes what he is doing. The bell rings, and here comes the teacher, who insisted on being called “Professor” but he needs to pipe down a bit on the ridicoulously high standard ego, this may be a boarding school, but it’s not one of those million dollar prep schools, and after all this is only a high school. Rather just stick to calling you Mr. Carter. Chris walks in late and “Professor” Carter gives him a dirty look through his slightly lowered, black framed eyeglasses, and asked for his name and reason for being late. As Chris starts walking toward me, Aidon gets up and moves over to Quinn, and Chris kisses me on the cheek. I can see Zack noticing Chris' affection but I didn’t mind him watching. Maybe he’ll get the message. The teacher walks to the back of the room and hands Chris a semester long itenerary, and said “Don’t ever show up late for my class again without a pass.” I looked over at Chris and whispered “I thought you were talking to the Dean why didn’t you get a pass?” He said “I did, but after talking to the Dean I went back to my room because I had to wake up Keith and then found him puking his brains out in the trash can, then he asked me to go pick up his schedule for him and give it to him later. By the time I was done with that the time the Dean signed the pass and by the time I was about to walk in the door the time gap was too far apart considering the Dean’s office is right downstairs. Rather make it look like I was late altogether.” I said “I guess that makes sense then." As the teacher was going on and on about classroom rules and expectations I studied his personality. After all, I am good at reading body language, and coincidentaly he happens to be one of the teachers who was sitting with all the other creepy teachers last night who definitely noticed me before I noticed them. Mr. Carter seemed a bit irritable. He was constantly grumpy. Never seemed satisfied with anything. Everytime a student raised their hand to ask a question he would sigh and say what in a very grouchy tone. The bell rings and Mr. Carter said “Finally,” and looked directly at Chris but indrectly speaking about him and said “Don’t forget to be on time to my class everyone.” Chris stopped me in the hallway and said “Did I really piss that dude off?” I said “No trust me, he was like that before you even showed up.” Chris said “Damn, this class is going to suck. Where’s your next class? I want to walk you there.” I said “Calculus in room 419, and don’t be late again babe.” He said “Yeah…. I’m not going to be late again and my class is on the first floor of the building next door and yours is on the fourth of this building.” Then he laughed and said, "Well I’ll see you in Psychology." Then kissed me and walked off. After arriving in my Calculas class, I realized that Aidon and I once again have a class together and I was thankful to have him in my class because I thought I was going to be alone. Not too many of my friends take a liking in adavanced mathematics, so they all pretty much had algebra and geometry. In this class there are just individual desks but I sat at the one right next to Aidon. Our teacher’s name is Ms. Maslar. She seemed really young and besides her messed up teeth, and face that looked like she was constantly terrified of everything she had a pretty hot body. Her overly filled in everybrows are probably what made her face really undesireable, and of course the crooked, off-white, partially stained teeth.  Her body though could’ve been a model’s body. How ironic. She was really short and petie too. I was even taller than her and I’m rarely ever taller than anyone unless you’re a nine year old, and even most nine year olds almost tower me. However, Ms. Maslar was quite nice she didn’t seem too strict at all which was a releif because I was beginnng to think every teacher in this school was either a perverted pedophile or an asshole…. or a combination of the two. When she talked though she talked in a somehwhat high-pitched voice and seemed really absent-minded which is an odd trait for someone whose supposed to be teaching me, especially a curriculum as hard as calculas. Third period Psychology; not much to say about this class. The teacher seems really nice, yet another female though which is probably why. I couldn’t tell at this point if what I was feeling inside was because of the hangover I still had or because everything about this school seemed backwards. It’s usually female teachers that are bitchy, but the female teachers here seemed to be pretty laid back, and the guy teacher’s are the uptight bitchy ones. The thought of it made me want to puke because this school is already so unusual. Either way, I was relieved to know I had a pretty nice teacher for this class considering it was the one of the classes I signed up for and had been waiting for. Chris signed up for the class too just so he could have a second elective credit and because I was going to be in it, fortunately luck was on our side and landed us in the same exact class. Something about the human brain and studying it fascinated me. Call me whatever name you want for it, I don’t care, but no debate you have against Psychology will beat my rehearsed ones to defend it.  After all, studying the human brain, and all it’s functions about a particular human can be a hundred times more engaging and interesting than solving for x. Fourth period Humanities class. In other words we’re studying the history of human nature. I again, have Chris in my class and by this point of the day I was exhausted. I wanted to puke all over the place and the caffiene from my coffee was long gone, and history was one of the most boring subjects ever. Don't get me wrong, I like history, I really do, but I like interactive history, like ghost tours and I love to hear about the roaring 20s with bad ass notorious organized crime. I strongly dislike the common way schools teach history especially since they teach the same things we have been hearing since the 8th grade over and over. The older you get the more in depth the same exact subject gets. Multiple boring pages from boring textbooks at a time with boring monotone voices of the teachers. I sat behind Chris hoping the teacher wouldn’t be able to see me putting my head down behind him. Unfortunately, he did and he moved me to the front of the class. He seemed really nice…. which is odd because he was one of the teachers staring at me during dinner last night. Maybe he’s overly friendly, and that’s the problem. He didn’t care about me having my head down it was the first day of school and he already handed us the class itenerary which is probably the only important thing you need on the first day, but it was the perfect excuse to move me closer to him, of course, or at least that is how my mind is processing it. He had black framed eyeglasses like Mr. Carter, he looked older than him though and it was evidently distinguishable due to the salt and pepper hair color. He was really tall and moved around a lot which made me want to puke he was making me nervous by constantly moving. I felt my headache growing stronger. Fifth period Journalism. Creative writing wasn’t one of my indomitable classes. I was great at making things up on my own and writing little short stories off of topics I found pleasing such as mystery, investigative mysteries, or spooky stuff. Not the boring randomized topics schools give you. I was also pretty upset that I didn’t have another class with Chris after this until 7th period but at least Upperclassmen lunch was after this class. This teacher seemed really boring. She was also quite old, and she irritated me because every little thing that she didn’t approve of would throw her off and make her go on a five minute long rant. I mean, I could understand why she would do something like that if a student was being an ass and not doing what they were supposed to do but the whole class for the most part was quiet with an exception of a few whispers in the back of the room, which is where I was sitting. This teacher would let shit hit the fan if the desks weren’t lined up evenly. Seriously? What kind of teacher does that? She wore really long skirts, and thrift store looking shirts, she had regular old people glasses with big frames, but she didn’t really appear to be as old as she sounds. You could still see hear naturally dark hair color beneath the gray top coat. I’m assuming she’s in her late fifties to maybe mid sixties. Her train of thought often stumbled off it’s tracks also.

CHAPTER NINE:

Finally, it’s lunch time. After the amazing home cooked style dinners last night  I was eager to see the lunch menus, and to finally put something more in my stomach other than a bagel and some coffee. Obviously, us Party Crew members sat mostly all together and the lunch menu was amazing, there was fried chicken with homestyle mashed potatoes and grilled aspharagus which was fucking astonishing right about now. It was the only thing they were serving though besides the salad bar of course and an alternative vegeterian meal, but I didn’t care at all. I was so ready to stuff my face with this incredible food. I actually like the cafeteria workers here more than any of the other staff. Keith and Kyler asked us if we wanted to skip the rest of the classes to go check out the barn house. I said “There’s no reason to skip the one class we have left. Besides, 6th period is really only study hall, if we leave lunch early we can get there and have about 50 or so minutes to check it out and still be back in time for our last class.” Kyler implied “Well, me and Keith are skipping seventh since Keith skipped all day, and if you want to come check it out then you got to go with us now.” Aidon who has no idea what we are even talking about of course asks us what we are talking about, Chris then begins to explain everything to him. “Last night me, Lacey, Niki, Hannah, Chandler, Quinn, Keith, and Kyler found this old abandoned farmhouse–” Kyler butts in and says “I’m the one who found it actually…… Just saying.” Chris gives him this intimidating look as if he was saying "don't fucking interrupt me," and then looks back over at Aidon and says “Anyways, Kyler had an idea of turning it into a party house. A place to skip classes and have.. well kick ass parties that we can’t have on campus. They want to go check it out now for whatever reason and go clean it out, and see what we can do with it.” Kyler then adds “It’s going to be sick as fuck” Which in teenager slang that means it’s going to be awesome. Kyler asks Aidon “So, are you down or nah?” Aidon implies that he is indeed down. Again, in teenager slang; it means that he is looking forward to it. Aidon then adds “I don’t want to miss my 7th period though my mom is going to be calling the school today just to make sure I’m not using this school as some sort of vacation and I don’t want her to drag my ass out of here and home school me. Not only will I have to spend all day with my mother, but I won’t ever see you guys anymore.” Kyler said “Dude, it’s fine me and Keith are the only ones skipping you can walk back with the rest of them.”

Chris, Quinn, and I walk around the lunch room and other various parts of the campus to look for other Party Crew members to go see the house that didn’t already see last night. Once we got there the newbies to the area were shocked and really pleased to know they have an escape-from-school place to hang out in, get high in, and all that sort of stuff. Kyler asked if anyone wanted to do the honors of walking, jumping, and running around the upstairs to see how stable it is. Of course nobody was eagerly jumping for that role, no pun intended, and Kyler said “Fine… I’ll do it.” and he did and surprisingly it was sturdy enough. Nothing too exciting happened here except for moving all the unwanted shit to the attic and sweeping the shit out and dusting with cleaning utensils that looked fairly new and I’m the only one who seemed to notice that a farm house that is allegedly abandoned on a piece of land that hasn’t been on any maps since the 1930s has fairly new cleaning utensils. I tried to brush it off as maybe Kyler brought them here already. Maybe Kyler had already been skipping classes and knowing Kyler he would do something like steal cleaning supplies from a janitor’s closet. I wasn’t going to ask him though but I didn’t want to go back to sqaure one and be scared and paranoid about how these utensils got here in case he said "No." After we finished cleaning for the most part Chris looks at Kyler and says “This place is pretty big, but are we even sure this place has electricity, and where are we even going to get furniture for this place? I mean it’s not like we can order furniture or call an electrician and tell me to meet us at our abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.” Kyler said “Relax bro I got it all covered, the electricity part not so much, but there is however an electricity source like thirty feet away all we need is a bunch of extension cords. I can just drive into town and buy some." I thought to myself why would there, and how would there be an electricity source in an abandoned neighborhood that hasn’t been on any maps for over eighty years. Even if Kyler did bring the cleaning utensils I am officially back to square one, we are definitely not the only people who have used this farmhouse... Someone else could be using it already. I don't know how I would even begin to tell them this, plus I don't want to ruin it for everyone. I keep telling myself that I'm overreacting, and that maybe the elcetricity source is for the school, but I am still not feeling better. It was now time to start heading back to campus for the last class of the day. I almost had forgotten we were even at school.

CHAPTER TEN:

Seventh period Drama class, I walked in and the first person I see is douche-bag Zack, of course he would be in drama class, all the preppy kids were. In drama class there's only three main types of students: the preps who are a majority of girls who can't act or sing who just want to be the center of attention and constantly boast about how much money their parents have, the artistic and awkwardly social who sometimes take theatre way too seriously, and the average people who want an elective credit in theatre arts, but then there's me, the not so awkwardly social, in fact I'm socially outgoing, my dad does make a lot of money, but I just want a credit in theatre arts, and I do enjoy performing in plays, I've done it since the third grade, I remember Kyler puking on me from being so nervous. We were performing a Christmas play. I was of course a pissed off third grader but that didn't stop Kyler and I from becoming good friends, in fact it brought us closer, I taught him to not be shy and I got him over his stage freight, I'm actually very proud of myself. However, this time Zack is surrounded by his other preppy-jocky douchey friends who are only in this class to attempt to hook up with the preppy girls with blonde hair who don't know shit about theatre arts, even if it slapped them directly in the face they would still be completely oblivious. I walk past and Zack slaps me in the ass. I barely had time to even react before I see Chris punching him in the face. Zack stands up and then so does his buddies, Chris is badly outnumbered but this didn't scare him. Zack and Chris didn't sit down, they keep yelling at each other and pushing each other. The teacher walks in and says "Do I really have to suspend students on the first day of school?” Zack seems to be intimidated by the fact of getting suspended which not only will he be suspended from school but also suspended from the football team. I said “Chris, baby, just sit down please….. I don’t want you to get suspended from school or the basketball team before you even have a chance to play a single game….” Chris doesn’t break eye contact with Zack but he grabs my ass with both his hands and picks me up and brings me over to our table. Other than the douche bags that probably jerk each other off in the locker room, I know this class is going to be fun because practically all of the main party crew that I associate with on a regular basis is in this class. I even heard the teacher call Kyler’s and Keith’s names. Too bad they have the “flu” and couldn’t make it to class today. Anyways, the teacher for this class seemed a bit nutty. She seemed to be just like the socially awkward kids in the class who take theatre entirely too seriously. She also bragged about the fact that she receives royalty checks from a commercial I never even heard of. She acts like she's Angelina Jolie or something. She talked in a fake British accent for half of the class before revealing that she was just "acting." I can't lie though, if she never revealed that the accent was fake I would've never guessed.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

About five weeks go by, and the school flu starts to kick in. In other words, that’s when everyone loses their motivation and the assignments start to actually pile up. During study hall Kyler said the farmhouse is all set up with Christmas lights, and normal lights, bean bags, music, and posters, and fuzzy rugs, and everything that would make a party house, a party house. I asked “How the hell did you manage to do all that without any help?” Kyler said “I was motivated. I mean it’s about time we have our first official party of the year, right?” Chris said “When? Tonight?” Kyler said "No tomorrow, we have to gather enough people.” I said “Wait… this isn’t going to just be a Party Crew party….?” Kyler said “Well, I mean… we run the party, and we own the party, but there’s nothing wrong with bringing other people to the party. I mean we’re all practically family I can’t hook up with any of you.” Quinn looks over at him and said "Awwe buddy you know you like me." They're obviously just joking, but Kyler said "Whatever man you wish." I add interuppting Kyler and Quinn's debate “You make a good point. I don’t care who parties with us as long as they know the Party Crew rules: No stealing of any kind; weed, alcohol, phones, money, lighters, etc. No petty drama. No fights. Then everything should be fine, but I mean I thought this was a Party Crew house only. What if the non-party crew people we invite decide to get comfortable in our farmhouse?”  Kyler said “Very good point, but that’s why I already got it covered. If anyone decides to do such a thing they won’t be able to get in. I bought locks, and made keys for the main party crew members only.” Chris high-fived him for that and said “Damn, good thinking, and I thought you were dumb.” Kyler begins to laugh but then says “Wait.. fuck you dude.” but they both laughed it off because Kyler knew Chris was only being facetious. We joke like this with each other all the time. It's like sibling rivalry. A few minutes later my roommate Elena walked over to our table and asked if she could sit with us. I hesitated to answer but Kyler answered for me and said “Of course girl.” Of course he was thinking with the wrong head. Then Quinn who often thinks a lot like me said “Don’t you have a table with your cheerleading friends?” Elena answered bluntly “They don’t like me. I actually don’t really have any friends here.” This response made everyone quiet, and it probably made Quinn feel like an asshole, but I’m sure he probably didn’t care at the same time. Her response probably shocked me the most because I was wrong about her. She doesn’t seem like one of those girls who would have problems making friends, especially with other fake blonde, and tanned skinned girls. I then asked “Why don’t they like you?” I mean, I’m not going to feel bad for her until I find out whether or not it’s her fault they don’t like her. She said “It’s because I’m different and nice. They started hating me after I let this girl in front of us in line because she was cut by like ten football players. A girl who they had earlier made fun of because of her outfit, and I don’t tolerate that sort of shit.” I then felt even worse because not only was I wrong about her, I was extremely wrong about her at this point. Kyler said “Well, you’re beautiful and you deserve good decent friends. We’re throwing a party tomorrow night. Do you wanna come?” She looked so shocked and said “Yes.. of course! I do love to party…. Unless it’s a typical high school party where people only like to be blacked out wasted and fight each other, and steal cigarettes and shit from each other. That's childish shit, I like chill nights with an adult-like atmosphere.” This girl keeps making me feel worse and worse, because I was so wrong about her, and from the things she’s saying she already fits into Party Crew. How could this be? Was she listening to our conversation and just telling us what we wanted to hear? I'm definitely keeping my eyes open with her.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

“Welcome, welcome, welcome! We, Party Crew hereby grant this the first official party of the new school year. The number one rule that will not be tolerated if broken under any circumstances is stealing! No jacking other peoples weed, alcohol, cigarettes, lighters, money and any other personal belongings. If reported that anyone gets ANYTHING stolen the party will officially be shut down! This is not to be a hard ass, this is to keep the vibe positive and lively. The second rule is know your limits! Yes, the point is to have fun, and yes the point is to get hella wasted, BUT I am no one’s butler I WILL NOT under any circumstances clean up your throw up! Please have the decency to clean up after yourself or at least get someone you came with to help you out, or if it comes down to it, find me, or any of the Party Crew members to help you out right away. I don’t want your nasty ass puke marinating into my rugs, or furniture! Rule number three is DON’T break shit! Please treat the items in this farmhouse as if it were your own. If something gets broken that’s money wasted out of my pockets personally, and if no one owns up to it and pays up for the expenses NOBODY will be accepted back into the party house ever again besides the very members of Party Crew. I get that shit happens sometimes, if you accidentally break something, please just let us know, and everything will be alright. Last but surely not least, I’m sure I’ll make up new rules as I go, is to NEVER tell anyone about this farmhouse. If you are not a member of Party Crew that means you were singled out and selected, we weren’t giving random handouts to our free liquor. IF word gets out, not only will it spread like wildfire, but it will put us at risk of getting exposed and getting this farmhouse demolished by the schoolboard. Oh, and one more thing I promise, THIS IS NOT intended in anyway to be a high school atmosphere. The youngest accepted will be 16 BUT if you act like little joog, you get kicked out so NO FIGHTING and petty drama. Keep the atmosphere positive and lively and respect our rules or you will NOT ever return here which you should feel honored at the fact that you’re even here to begin with considering we run the only party house on campus! Good luck throwing parties like this on campus….. Oh wait…. You won’t!!!!!!! PARTY ON!” Kyler’s speech about the Party Crew Party House felt like a really long lecture, but I completely respect and agree. However, it was just to feed Kyler's ego. With each passing day he seems to really act as if he is the "leader" of this crew when there has never been such a thing. We used to be just an average group of friends and now it feels like we're Kyler's minions. As the night went on I see people starting to hook up and start to get really sloppy. I kept my eye on Elena tonight because even though she is the exact opposite of what I thought she was going to be I still had my doubts, I mean that could’ve easily been a bullshit act. She wasn’t really talking to anybody, just a few random girls and Kyler and it’s no surprise to me once I see Kyler whisper in her ear and easy as 1, 2, 3 she was walking up the stairs with him. Kyler is a man whore, he will sleep with any girl he considered to be at least a “5.5” out of 10 on his ridiculous “how hot that girl is” scale. However, at the same time I kind of felt bad for Elena, she seemed insecure and vulnerable and Kyler picked up on that too and used it to his advantage. As the night starts to drift on I start losing my buzz, I didn't want to get too drunk tonight even though it's the weekend, plus Chris is super wasted and I have to make sure he gets back to his dorm. When Chris gets really drunk he doesn't listen to anyone, and depending on the liquor he consumes depends on his mood. I forbid him to ever drink Patron again, because it makes him super angry when he's drunk, he almost got arrested one night a few summers ago for fighting people. Practically anything else just makes him really goofy and fidgety or really sick. I don't know what all he's consumed at this point so I have to keep a closer eye on him. I start cleaning up some extra trash on the floor because I don't want Kyler to freak out, but I mean he can't really expect a bunch of drunk people to keep in track of every single thing they leave behind. I start talking to my friend Chandler who hasn't drank at all tonight, she's just smoked weed. "Hey Chandler, wanna help me carry this keg upstairs? I don't want anyone else to drink out of it, it's the last one." She of course said "No problem," and helped me drag it to an empty room upstairs. Upon arriving into the room, I see Chris sleeping on the floor. He just barely made it to a pink fuzzy rug and a beanbag chair. Chandler and I sit on the beanbag chairs and start talking about life and school. I asked her "Do you miss Portland?" she said "Of course I do, moving out here with my mother and being so far away from my dad sucks, but at least I get to see you guys more often, especially since we all live in the same place now." I met Chandler five years ago over the summer, that's usually when she came to town to visit her mom. During the school year she lived with her dad in Oregon, but her mom recently won a custody case, so now she'll be visiting her dad on summers. Chandler isn't your typical friend. She's the girl who will literally be down for anything, and literally be there for you regadless of the situation. If you needed bail money, she'd be there, if you just needed a laugh she'd there. Hell, even upon bailing you out she'll be cracking jokes to make you laugh. Even if you think you can never laugh again, if Chandler's around, I promise you will. I hardley ever see her take anything serious. She's always happy-go-lucky. She helps me wake Chris up and helps me walk him down stairs, he's almost entirely motionless, stumbling and bouncing off me and Chandler from side to side. She asks me if I needed help bringing him back to his dorm, I said please. On the weekends, the dorm doors stay open until 2 AM, which was pretty cool, unfortunately though, it's 3 AM, and I don't know who I could call to come open the doors because everyone I know is at the party or already completely passed out. I start thinking of this on our hike back to campus, but there was no way I was spending the night in the farm house so I kept telling myself "I'll figure it out." We get to the entrance and I don't see anyone in the lobby like I had hoped. Chandler said she knew a way in. She brought me around to the back of the building to this crawlspace that lead underneath the building.. Just looking at it my mouth slipped "Oh fuck no," even though that was supposed to stay in my head. She said "It's okay trust me you won't be crawling for long, my friend Cameron showed me this, he said he uses it all the time, it leads to the dormatory kitchen, and from there you can go wherever you want in the building." I said "Okay but I'll need help with Chris." Who at this point is less drunk than he was, but he's still pretty drunk. We push Chris in first and I crawl in after him, I had to encourage him to keep moving the whole time, and Chandler was behind me dictating which way I should tell Chris to move until we eventually crawled up through a hatch in the dorm kitchen. I started to ask myself, "why is this even here?" but giving the current circumstances I was thankful for it's existence. Chandler started to speak as if she read my mind. She said "This is one of the oldest buildings on campus, it was here when it was a hospital." I looked shocked because I thought I was the only one who researched the history. I said "So you know all about the Shirestown murders and strange occurences?" She said "Yes, but I don't like to talk about it. I keep telling myself that the past is the past and there's nothing to worry about. Besides we've been in school for a month now if the land was so cursed I think something would've happened by now." Her words did not settle well with me at all, I had this really bad feeling in my gut and it kind of infuriated me how Chandler pretended to not be scared. The one person besides me who knows of the vile history doesn't want to talk about it and she pretends to not care! Please care so I can spill my feelings about this place to someone who already knows about this history. Please care so I can worry with someone at the same time so I don't have to feel like I'm constantly paranoid and overreacting. I stayed quiet so then Chandler added "Well, I'm going to go say hey to my friend Cameron, he said he's still up and has weed, and then I'm leaving. Are you staying with Chris or do you want to come get high?" I would've gone with Chandler, but to be completely honest I wouldn't just throw my boyfriend into bed and then leave to go get high with Chandler and some stranger, that and dealing with drunk Chris has gotten me very tired so I respectfully decline and drag Chris to the elevator. I spent the night with him, and Keith was already in the room when we got there. All I remember after arriving was undressing myself and Chris and passing right out.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

I woke up, and see that I'm the only one awake. I immeditately see Quinn in his bed meaning sometime after I got here with Chris he showed up. I don't remember exactly what time it was when I finally got up here so I really couldn't say what time the party at the farmhouse actually ended. I start recollecting memories from last night like a play-by-play all up to the moment of walking into the room. I notice a majority of my clothes and my shoes along wth Chris' were spread across the room, making a trail to his bed. I roll over facing Chris and kiss the tip of his nose and I start to drift back into a sleep until someone knocks loudly on the door, being that I'm the only one who didn't get heavily intoxicated last night and currently the only one awake I seem to be the only one who heard it. I started thinking to myself, maybe they'll go away if nobody answers. Nope. Wrong. They knocked again, this time more loudly. I got up and searched the floor for my shirt and shorts, put them on while walking towards the door. My shorts weren't even buttoned and I open the door getting ready to throw a bitch fit, but I see Chandler. She said "You have to let me in, Cameron's friend is being really weird and touchy and following me and Cameron went to work at the campus store." I said "Girl, it's 8:30 in the morning and you bang on the door with urgency for this!?" I'm not a very happy person in the mornings, and this doesn't make it any better. She said "I'm sorry but I'm not getting raped!" I asked her if she had gotten any sleep, and she said "Barely. I couldn't get comfortable, I was trapped inside my mind and over-thinking all night." I wanted to ask her if it's because we mentioned the school's history but I wouldn't want to bring it up again, and I certainly didn't want to start thinking about it. Giving the fact that I know the history it has made my experience here 10x more eerie. I just kept the thought to myself and that maybe Chandler really feels the same way I do, but just doesn't want to talk about it. I told her "Well, try to get a little sleep, when Chris wakes up we're going to go get some food, want me to wake you up so you can join?" she said "Sure, thanks." I try to fall back asleep but I just can't, I ended up doing exactly what I tried not to do which was think about the brutal and horrifying history of the land, and because of the fact that Quinn's snoring seems to be the only thing my ears can focus on right now. I roll back over grabbing Chris' hand and wrapping it around my body. I stare around the room. I can see Keith on his top bunk, still sleeping, Quinn obviously still sleeping below Keith, and Chandler on the floor using Quinn's clothes as a pillow. Thirty minutes go by and I can feel Chris slowly waking up. He moves his head over mine and kisses my cheek. He said "Good morning." In his super tirey morning voice, and I could still smell the alcohol on his breath. I rub his facial hair and rub my fingers through his hair and just smile at him. He makes me so happy, and moments like this I just cherish. Being with him makes me forget about the world around us. He said "I'm going to go brush my teeth and shower. Want to shower with me?" Then he winked at me. I said "Duh." in a playful flirty voice. In the shower we start talking and he said "I'm hungry when we get back into the room try waking up everyone and see if they want some food." I said "By the time we get back into the room and get them up they're going to stop servng food for free." He said "I don't care, I'll pay for you and the rest of them can figure it out." I said "Baby you don't have to pay for me, my dad put money in my account." Our school has accounts set up so that students who wanted extra money for extracurricular activities or food they had the money to do so. He said as he gets behind me and grips his strength around me and rocks me side to side while kissing my neck. "I don't care, I'm paying for you because you my baby." I started thinking to myself "Why in the hell is he being so cute right now?" Chris was always cute but he had his random moments when he would be extra cute for no reason, and I loved it. By the time we got back to the room everyone was already awake.. Barely. They were all just checking their phones and not saying a word to each other. That's what usually happens every morning. Even when there was no drinking the night before. Chandler got up and said "Lacey, Cameron invited me to go eat with him so do you mind if I go with him instead?" I said "Of course not, have fun." I don't know who Cameron is but it's pretty obvious that Chandler has a thing for him and I'm not going to get in between that. Why would she have to ask me if she could go with him? I wouldn't have told her no, but I guess it was out of respect because I technically did informally invite her to come with us. Quinn jumps up and starts changing and says I'm going with you and Keith shortly follows. By the time we got food we decided to sit outside and eat in the courtyard. It was a beautiful day out in early October. Autumn is my favorite season, I don't know why it's just something about the smell in the air that makes my soul smile. I see Hannah start walking up to us, and I asked her "Did Elena ever come back last night?" Just to see if she spent the night with Kyler. Hannah said "Yeah, she did but she left again because she forgot her phone. She didn't come back after that." My gut kind of had this anxious knotted feeling. I said "Okay... Maybe she stayed with Kyl--" my thought was interrupted because I then see Kyler walking through the courtyard coming our way so then I added "Never mind." Kyler walks up to us and said "What's up, bitches? Have fun last night?" Quinn said "Clearly you had more fun fucking that blonde chick." Kyler just giggled and said "Right!" Keith is studying for his ACT test this afternoon so he's just sipping coffee and obsereving the conversation while multitasking with his face in his booklet. Keith has been studying that ACT pamphlet for two weeks now, I have very high hopes for him and I know he's confident about it. I look over at Kyler and said "So about that blonde chick" as I advert my attention over to Quinn because I mocked him then back to Kyler "Where did she stay last night?" He said "I have no idea, I fucked her then left. We left at the same time but went seperate ways after we got on campus." Everyone suddenly had this worried expression on their face but I don't think anoyone was quite as worried as I was. I stood up and said "You have the audacity to fuck a girl but you can't even walk her back to her dorm to make sure she got back okay? She was drunk Kyler anything could've happened." Chris grabs my arm and says "Calm down, baby." Keith adds, "No I agree with Lacey, what if she got caught and rats us out? Also, do you really believe the possibility that we were the only people walking around campus that late? That was fucked up Kyler." I'm thankful Keith agrees with me but we're not exactly on the same page. In my mind I'm seeing worse scenarios. Kyler said "Well, fuck guys I'm sorry. I was drunk too all I wanted to do was go back to my room and sleep." I sit back down and grab my coffee, and just sit in shock. Chris starts to rub my back he can tell I'm stressing. Everyone else pretty much stayed quiet. Quinn said "Okay, well we'll see her in Study Hall today, it's Sunday. If she's not in Study Hall then we should worry, right?" Everyone began to collectively agree. I agreed for the sake of sparing an argument amongst us, but I really didn't agree. After we all ate I went back to my dorm to change clothes and grab things I would need for study hall tonight and put them into a bag. Hannah comes in behind me and sits on her bed. She looks up and asks "Are you okay?" I sat down and said "No, I hate this place." I began to tell Hannah about the history of the place and I can tell it's starting to freak her out a bit but then she did exactly what I was afraid she would do, the reason why I never talked to anyone about it, she said "I think you're overreacting Lacey." I stood up and walked out and called Chris. I called him up crying asking if he could meet me by the school swimming pool, where I had managed to end up at after my anger induced walk. The swim team was practicing but I was just drowning in tears and had my face burrowed into my arms and knees while sitting on the bleachers. I didn't care if anyone saw me, and I didn't care if they knew I was crying. At this point I was just finally breaking down after bottling it up for so long. Chris finally shows up and hugs me, he doesn't even ask what's wrong yet because he knows that I want to out-cry myself first. I lay my head in his lap and he rubs my head waiting for me to stop crying. I finally do, and I just lift my head up and said "Chris, I'm scared." he said "Baby, why what's wrong? Are you okay?" I said "I'm fine but what if Elena isn't? Do you know who the cops are going to first? Her roommates!" I was waiting for Chris to say "you're overreacting" but he didn't and that made me so joyous. He said "Lacey, baby, I know you're scared. We're all worried, but you don't have anything further to worry about except for where she is and what happened to her. Baby, you didn't do anything wrong. You did everything the way you were supposed to. I got so drunk that you had to help me back to my dorm. If I didn't get so drunk you wouldn't have had to babysit me and take care of me all night and then you probably could've put yourself into a liable situation." I didn't say anything, and Chris grabs my chin and adverts my attention to his eyes and he said "Baby, the universe tends to unfold as it should." He started talking about his belief in fate, and for once it actually made me feel better. I change the subject kind of and ask him "What about free will? Making your own decisions? Everything is just planned out already by fate? Like, getting a cup of coffee this morning instead of juice, that was fate?" he said "Yeah. Think of it this way; remember all those girly magazines you used to be obsessed with? It had those games and quizzes? Remember those games where you started off with one scenario and it gave you options to pick your next move all leading to another scenario which eventually led to the conclusion based off the choices you made? Well, that's just like fate. Every single day we make choices that eventually end us up in a place we were meant to be at all along simply by the choices we decided to make with our free will." I just look at him with an enlightened smile. He made me feel so happy, and no one has ever described fate so distinctively to me. My smile quickly faded because I remembered Elena. I asked him "So whatevever happens or happened to Elena is... fate? She did things that led her to disappear? What about every other teenager, or child, or adult even who disappears? Who have families they love....?" He looked at me like he wanted to say, "baby I don't have all the answers" but he said "I don't know....." instead and quickly looked down to his shoes. I grabbed his hand to comfort him. I never questioned Chris' beliefs like this before, and I now I feel kind of crummy. I said "I'm sorry baby, I don't mean to.. make you.. feel inferior or question your beliefs in how the universe works... I'm just stressed." He said "I know baby, it's okay. I don't have all the answers, but nobody does. Inner peace and shit comes from within. I believe that everyone in their own way is a god (he looks at me) or goddess (and smiles) of their own body, and mind, and their own universe." I actually believe the way Chris thinks is very alluring. I wish to one day see the world the way he sees it, I honestly envy him sometimes.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

As we try to actually study in Study Hall we all are figedty and anxious and hoping to see Elena here so we can all forget about this and destress. I can't believe I'm actually feeling this way, but I'm hoping to see her, seeing her would be equally exciting as riding a rollercoaster right about now, but waiting and hoping to actually see her can be compared to the dreadful long line to get on to the rollercoaster. Nobody really wants to talk so we just burry our faces into whatever assignment we're working on. Study Hall comes to an end and the librarian over the intercom said "Study Hall is coming to an end, but the library will be open until 8 PM for those who wish to stay." Nobody at my table said a word we all just look at each other. Quinn stands up and says "Well, maybe Elena just didn't come to Study Hall...." I said "That would be reassuring if Hannah didn't just text me fifteen minutes ago saying she never came back to the room either." Quinn said "Okay, but these two things doesn't mean she isn't okay." I said "Quinn, it's 6:30 at night! If she got caught walking around being drunk by an administrator or campus security she would've been suspended therefore she would have to take a majority of her stuff and leave campus. Everything was left behind. Hannah and I have checked the room periodically all day, and nothing of hers has even been touched. So Quinn please tell me what the fuck this could mean then?" Kyler said "Guys, lets not talk about this in the middle of the library okay? Lets go find an empty section between bookshelves and talk more quietly, shall we?" We all followed. We're on the second floor in the back left corner of the building. It's pretty evident no one comes up here when you see a condom wrapper on the floor. This section offers the most horrendously boring books, so that's good... I guess. We all sit down in a rectuangular 'circle' because an actual circle of people wouldn't fit between these shelves. Quinn begins to talk "Okay, guys, obviously something bad happened, there's no denying it at this point. We all need to be honest right now and share our stories. What we did throughout the course of last night, and where we slept. I'll start. I was drinking, I pretty much hung out with Aidon all night, we played darts, Aidon left early. I stayed at the farmhouse for about an hour after Aidon left and went to the dorms and hung out with my friend TJ, who I met in my math class, and I bought weed from him, and I chilled with him for about another thirty-five or so minutes, before walking up to my room. When I got to my room Keith was sleeping because he didn't stay longer than 2 hours at the party because he had ACT testing today, and Lacey and Chris were sleeping. I passed out, and I woke up this morning, Lacey and Chris were just coming back from the showers and Chandler was sleeping on the floor. I don't know when she got there, but it was obviously after me and I showed up there at 6:15 AM." Quinn paused and said "If someone's got something to confess now's your chance. It's only us who knows about this, so, if we got to stick together to cover something up, then that's just what we have to do." Chandler added to the story to distract from what Quinn added to the end of his storyline. At least it seemed like a distraction. I can understand why, I suppose. Did Quinn really just say we'll cover up the murder? Or was that a reverse psychology thing to see if someone actually confessed to it. Anyways, Chandler said "The part about Quinn buying weed is true and I can vouch for it, I was hanging out with my friend Cameron. TJ and Cameron are best friends and they live down the hall from each other, I saw Quinn leaving TJ's at about 6 AM so the timing fits." I added "I let Chandler into the room at 8:30, she said Cameron's friend was bothering her and that Cameron went to work, so I'm assuming she stayed at Cameron's place." Chandler added, "I did." Quinn said "Okay that pretty much sums up mine and Chandler's whereabouts as well as Keith's, Lacey's and Chris'. Lacey please tell us the beginning of your time line please since we know the ending of it pretty much." I said "I was pretty much floating around the party, following Chris around because he was drinking a lot, I wanted to be there if he happened to drink too much... Eventually he did exactly that and walked off and went upstairs to an empty room and slept on the floor. I cleaned up a little bit around the farmhouse, just the downstairs, and Chandler helped me, she also helped me carry a keg upstairs and hid it in the room Chris was sleeping in. We sat down on the beanbag chairs in there and talked for a little bit, woke Chris up, managed to get him downstairs and almost half way through we got him to actually walk on his own. Chandler brought me around to the back of the building and we snuck into a crawlspace that Cameron showed her. Pretty much after that I went directly to Chris' room and fell asleep... With Chris." Everyone began to share their timeline stories and all of them seemed legit. At least I think. I can't see any one of us being murderers. Quinn looks over at Kyler who hasn't shared his timeline yet and said ''You were the last one to see her before she disappeared bro." Before Kyler had a chance to yell I said "Actually, Hannah was. She said Elena came into the room, said she forgot her cell phone, and then left, remember?" Quinn said "Oh yeah, that's who were missing-- Hannah. She needs to share her timeline." I blurted out "This is bullshit. I honestly don't believe any of us have anything to do with her disappearace.  Maybe she just got lost in the woods, or stayed at the farmhouse because she didn't feel like walking back and thought that maybe we'd come back by now... Maybe she's just at the farmhouse freaking out waiting for one us to walk back in there.." Kyler said "No, I locked the farmhouse when I left." Chris said "Are you 100 percent sure? You said you were drunk." He didn't look so sure and said "I don't know man, I was fucking drunk, I don't remember." Everyone was silent and Kyler added "I don't see what that has to do with anything though because even if she was able to get back into the farmhouse because I may've been too drunk to remember to lock it, that doesn't explain why she hasn't came back all day. She would've just started heading back after she woke up when the sun was up." Keith added "Kyler's right. I don't think she would stay at the farmhouse all day, there's really nothing to do there, especially by yourself. It's almost 7 o'clock at night she would've been back a long time ago." Quinn said "For the sake of our sanity we should just check the farmhouse for assurance. If there is no proof that she came back to the farmhouse then there is no telling what the fuck happened to her. Then it really isn't on any of us. If a wolf or something in the woods ate her then it's just some drunk campus girl wandering in the woods. That doesn't fall on any of us.." Chandler added "She didn't just disappear into thin air, Quinn. If she was going that way the farmhouse would've been the only place to go, once you get about half a mile outside of campus it's pretty much a straight shot from there to the fence, and from the spring right next to the fence, to the farmhouse." Quinn said "Okay, but there's a lot of trees Chandler, she could've walked the wrong direction." Chandler argued "Bullshit, regardless of which way she came from or went to since leaving campus she would've still came to the fence..... She could've walked along side the fence to find the hole we cut, which is right by the spring." Quinn said "Okay, but wolves can jump fences and who the fuck else knows what else populates those woods... Bears could even be out there." Everybody went silent for a moment. I said "I'm not going back to farmhouse, giving the current circumstance that farmhouse and those woods is the last fucking place I want to be, especially at night." Kyler said "Fuck you, Lacey, if we have to go then so do you, we're all in this together." Aidon said "Fuck that dude, how are we all in this together? As far as I'm concerned you and Hannah were the last two people to see her before she went missing. You two should search the magical fucking forest for clues, fuck you." Kyler said "Aidon, don't you fucking walk away, we're all in this together because it's our party house, it was our party." Aidon said "That's such bullshit dude, a lot of people attended that party, not just us." Kyler said "It's our farmhouse though, we're going to take the fall." Aidon said "You know what, it's not our farmhouse, it's your farmhouse, you're the one who found it and furnished it. Why are you acting scared bro? You act like you have something to hide? Maybe you choked her to death while fucking her. When and if she's ever found, she's probably dead and she'll have your semen in and/or around her so go fuck yourself." Kyler said "Seems like you got the plot all figured out, huh? Me take the blame for what you did? It's easy that way since I'm the one who fucked her right?" Aidon said "BULLSHIT I left the party early, Quinn vouched for it and my dormmates can too. They'll also tell you that I didnt leave the room at all after that, not even to go to the bathroom, and by the time I got home and by the time Hannah last saw her, they conflict each other." I shouted "Can you two fucking stop it, there is no reason to sit here and blame each other for something neither of us can prove and to be completely fucking honest, you're making yourselves look guilty for being so eager to point fingers. Lets just go to the farmhouse and get this shit over with, I highly doubt we'll find anything there, it's going to be a complete waste of time and we'll be right back at square one but if it makes everyone feel better then fuck it. I know damn well that I'm not taking the fall for something I had no part of. I'm not guilty and have nothing to fucking hide so lets go."

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

We all get to the farmhouse, everyone was quiet most of the walk there. Nobody wanted to say anything. It's moments like this that I wish I could read minds. I was so eager to hear what everyone was thinking. Upon arriving to the farmhouse Quinn looks at the door, shines the flashlight at the lock, and looks back at everyone and says "It's busted." Kyler blurted out and said "SEE! If I had anything to do with this I would've just used the damn key." Aidon pitched in and said "The busted lock means nothing. Elena came back, and she didn't have a key, she probably busted the lock. You could've came back later or was already here.... Or....... That's exactly what you would've done to make it look like you didn't do it." Kyler punches Aidon in the face and Chris shoves Kyler to the ground and said "You two keep pointing fingers at each other and isn't going to solve shit. Both of you need to shut the fuck up. Ya'll need to think for one second. Aidon was right, we weren't the only ones at the party, there were people there last night that I've never even seen on campus before, and we even invited underclassmen party crew even though we said the youngest was sixteen. Everybody invited their friends man. Sorry Kyler, but you're a horrible host. Everybody broke the rules last night. A lot of people were showing up to the party last night after it started. So more people than just Elena didn't have a key. Anyone could've busted this lock." Chris added "If none of us did it, then we need to stick together because this is some serious shit. At this point who knows if she's even alive. We're dealing with a missing person that so conviently lands on our hands. This is not the time to turn against each other." Niki interrupts and said "Guys, I have a confession.." We all just look at her in shock thinking she was about to admit something in regards to Elena's disappearence. She said "I filmed the party, I had hidden cameras everywhere. I just wanted something for my own personal.... enjoyment of our first party here. I was just going to put it on my computer and then make copies for party crew." Kyler said "What the fuck does this have to do with anything?" Niki said "These cameras belonged to my mom's paranormal obsessed boyfriend. Meaning the cameras have the ability and storage to film throughout the entire course of the night....." Kyler said "And..... What are you getting at?" She said "Isn't it obvious? I got really fucking wasted and forgot to turn the cameras off or even get them and bring them back with me.... Meaning they were rolling all night, so we can figure out exactly what happend... Who walked in after Elena, or if Elena even came back." Everyone looked shocked and Quinn said "Well, then what the fuck are we waiting for?" Aidon added "We should still check out the farmhouse. Just in case something's up there that will help us and save us time." Niki said "I agree, I had a lot of cameras, so editing it all to be one video will take awhile." We all walk through the farmhouse, and as cliche as it sounds, the lights weren't working. I held on to Chris so fucking tightly, and I started thinking about my daddy and how I wouldn't hesitate to call him and have him bail me out of this situation right now, but unfortunately I can't do that. We all walk up the stairs and walk into the room Kyler and Elena fucked in. There's blood everywhere and of course I started screaming and I just burried my face in Chris' chest and everyone was too shocked to say anything until Keith said "What the fuck guys!?" Chandler said "It looks like a huge puddle formed by the closet." Keith said "Are you implying that her body is probably in the closet?" Chandler's voice cracked and said "Yeah probably." Kyler slowly walked over to the closet and opened the door, and Elena's body fell over and nearly landed on his feet. Everyone at this point was screaming, we all ran out as fast as we could, and we didn't stop until we were back on campus. We all ran to Chris' room and we all stayed in there. I was having a panic attack and Chris was trying to calm me down but it wasn't working. Everyone was freaking out and yelling at each other and Chandler yells "Stop! Everybody just fucking stop! I've known all of you for a very long time, and I don't think any one of us could've done this. Stop pointing fingers. Her body was slashed everywhere. Her phone was shoved down her fucking throat. None of us could do that. Kyler you're scared of tiny little insects, there's no way you could do that to someone. Aidon you're a sweet and tiny kid, no offense, but if you even tried I'm sure Elena would win the fight. Quinn, you're an asshole sometimes, but we all know deep down you're a good person. You've came to my rescue countless times at ungodly hours without hesitation, and I know you've done that for quite of few people in this room. All of you are the greatest people I've ever met and possess such amazing qualities. None of us have the potential to do something like this." Chandler's speech brought everyone's tone down a little bit. All you hear was deep sighs amogst everyone in the room. My breathing started functioning as semi-normal again. Kyler then said after a long silent pause "We have to get rid of her body." Quinn said "Are you fucking kidding me?" Kyler said "I will not lose party house and go to jail for this. I know none of us did this, but whoever did was making sure we would get the blame." I said "If they made sure we would get the blame, then if we hide her body, isn't that even worse? That literally makes it look like we actually did do this and that literally puts the blame right on us." Kyler aggressively started to rub his face and said "I'm not taking the chances here! We're all in this together. We all have to help." Aidon said "Man, fuck you. Party house, and this school can suck my dick. I rather get kicked out of school than cover up a fucking horrendous murder. Who gives a shit if we lose a shitty, sketchy farmhouse in the woods? I rather lose that than practically lose my life by spending it in prison." Kyler said "I'm just looking out for all of you." Chris said "Okay Kyler cut the fucking bullshit. You're not looking out for any one but yourself. It's your cum that's all over her, and she was wearing your jacket that conviently wasn't slashed to shit like her body was, meaning it was put on her after she was murdered." Kyler said "Fuck you faggot! That doesn't make sense, why would I kill her in my jacket knowing that my cum is inside of her!? That's the biggest fucking set up in the world." Keith said "Guys, I can't get in trouble for this. All I need is one more mark on my record and I go to prison. The first two counts were just marijuana charges, but suspicion in murder!? Fuck that! Kyler's right. Someone is trying to set us up, we have to get rid of the body." I said "Do any of you actually hear yourselves? Someone was murdered, and we're sitting here trying to figure out a way to cover it up!? That's exactly what the murderer would do." Chandler said "Lacey... I agree, but we got to do what we got to do." Niki said "We all have to do this. Even Hannah. Someone should call her." Quinn says "I texted her five times, she hasn't responded." I started crying even harder. Chandler said, "Don't worry baby she's probably just asleep okay. We'll check on her in a little bit." Kyler opened his backpack and pulled out a gun and said, "I'm walking back to the farmhouse prepared." Chris said "Where the fuck did you get that? How did you sneak that in, and why do you have it?" Kyler said "Stop interrogating me. I have it because I have it, I snuck it in the way that I snuck it in. Happy, princess?" We all just kind of looked at each other and collectively agreed to not ask him about the gun and then shortly followed him out the door. We all got to the farmhouse and we walked in. Chandler and Niki grabbed the cleaning supplies from the downstairs closet and started cleaning the floors with bleach. The rest of us wrapped her body into a huge blanket. We picked her up and dropped her outside and Chris said "Where are we even going to put the body Kyler?" Kyler said "Every spring is connected to a river. Rivers are connected to lakes or oceans. We just have to follow the spring and find the river, the current will take her some where... else." Chris said "Yeah, no shit, but there's no telling where the river actually begins and where the spring ends. We could be walking forever." Kyler said "Good. The further away, the better." We all carried her body for quite sometime and then threw her body into the river after tying rope around her body. We watched her drift and sink away with the current. We all went back to Chris' room silently and fell asleep.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

The next morning we all wake up and just sit there in awkward silence. We all walked down to get breakfast together and I said "Oh shit! None of us rememered to check on Hannah." I called her and she answered. I said "Come down to the breakfast cafe, we all need to talk." We filled Hannah in and she wasn't happy about any of this and I said "Try being apart of actually doing it, Hannah! We're telling you this because you're apart of this. We're all in this together, right Kyler?" I said condescendingly. He didn't say anything he just raised his coffee as if he was about to make a toast. Chandler said "At least it's over now right?" I said "No, it isn't teachers are going to eventually notice that she hasn't come to any classes, and they're going to report it. Then the police get involved and start questioning everyone." Kyler said "At least it'll be a missing person's investigation rather than a homicide. No body no homicide." I said "If you didn't muder her why would you care?" He said "She was wearing my jacket and had my cum inside of her. That would've made me the number one suspect." I said "Yeah, it would've. Too bad you're the one who was so eager to get rid of her body in the river. Wash away all that DNA." Kyler said "You better be fucking careful with what you say next." I said "Why? You gonna kill me too?" Then I stormed off. Sure enough a couple of days passed and after class I walk into the dorm room to find a dashingly handsome detective, probably in his late thirties, and he was looking at the picture frame I have on my dresser, he turned around and said "You must be Lacey." I just nodded and He said "I assume you know why I'm here." I said "I'm guessing it's about my roommate.?" He said "And what makes you think it's about that?" I said "it's pretty obvious. She hasn't been seen in a couple of days." He said "So why didn't you report it? Why did it have to come down to teachers realizing something's wrong?" I quickly thought of a lie and said "Because I didn't think anything was wrong. When we met she explained how much she liked to party. I just assumed that's exactly what she was doing. We didn't know each other, and we barely ever talked. When she was here she'd come back late at night. When she didn't come back for awhile I assumed that she probably packed a bag or something and snuck off campus. Honestly, I never hung out with her or talked to her. She's a cheerleader so they'll probably be able to help you more than I can." He said "Interesting theory,  my partner suggested the same thing." Then he added "Who do you think she would've left campus with? I read her file, and she doesn't seem like the kind of person to have friends in a town like this or have time to constantly party with a GPA like hers." I said "Like I said I never really talked to her. We never had a genuine conversation. She did her thing, I did mine." He said "Okay." Then he proceeds to give me his card and said "If you hear any chit chat around school please let me know." I said "Of course." My heart sank to floor after he left. I called Hannah, but then my paranoia kicked in and thought what if they got my phone tapped I called Chris and told him to gather the boys, and I'll gather the girls and we'll meet in the library at the usual spot. Once we get to the library I fill everyone in with the story I gave to Detective Briggs. I said "Hannah, you're going to be the next person they question. You're her only other roommate, so stick with something along those lines but don't make it exactly the same." Kyler said "Lacey... You better not fucking crack. You either Hannah. They're going to be watching you two like prey because you were her roommates." I said "I know Kyler will you shut the fuck up?" Out of nowhere, we all receive a text at the same exact time. Everyone looks around in bewilderment. We all check our phones simultaneously. It was a video of us taken from a distance of us dumping Elena's body in the river. The text said "I know bitches." We all start panicing. Kyler said "Hannah what the fuck!?" Hannah said "Why the hell do you think I did this? I got the text too!" He said "You were the only person not there that night and you just so happen to not be responding to any texts creating the illusion that you "fell asleep."" Hannah said "Fuck you Kyler. You're so quick to point fingers at EVERY ONE, maybe you did really kill her." Kyler slapped the shit out of Hannah and Keith punched him in the face and his nose started bleeding. Hannah started crying and Chris comforted her with me. Kyler walked off and said "Fuck all of you." We sit Hannah up and start cleaning the blood from her lip. I look over at Chris and said "Please let me stay with you tonight." He said "Of course baby." Quinn said "Hannah, if you want to stay in our room tonight too you can, I have a sleeping bag you can use." The intercom said "Hannah West please report to the main office, Hannah West please report to the main office." Hannah started freaking out and said "Oh shit, what if it's the cops what if they want to question me, and now I have this big ass bloody bump on my lip." I said "Just make up something I'll stand right outside the door okay." I started to walk Hannah down but Chris turned me around and kissed me and said "You're a good person Lacey." I said ".... Are you sure about that?" As soon as Hannah and I got down there I sneakily headed for the room they placed her in. I was pretty incognito hiding my face behind this magazine, at least that's what I would like to assume. I could hear the conversation clear as day. Detective Briggs said "Hello Hannah. How did that happen?" I'm assuming he pointed to her lip and she said "Oh, a friend and I were play fighting with pillows once slipped and her bare hand accidently hit me pretty hard. It just happened like a few minutes ago actually." I said nice one, but please don't say it was me they're going to think I prepped you for this and actually punched you in the face to keep quiet... Oh my God she was really not thinking. He asked "What's your friend's name?" She said "Chandler Allen. A girl Chandler." I sighed with major relief although she sounds really nervous. You should never ask the cop questions when they're the ones questioning you. Hannah said "So what's this about?" Briggs responded "About your roommate, Elena Cauley. She hasn't been seen in a week." Hannah said "Oh yeah. I didn't really know her well at all, and I never really spent much time in the room other than to sleep. Usually she came long after I've been in bed for hours, or not at all." Hannah really is starting to use her head now. Hannah proceeded to go on with the "Elena is a big partier" story that I made up and they let her go. As I see Detective Briggs stand up and about to give Hannah his card I walk fast down the hallway to prevent from being seen. I met Hannah outside and she said "I think we're in the clear." I said "No we're not. They're still going to be watching us. So keep your cool." Hannah said "When I was walking out I heard him ask his partner to check if she had a secret boyfriend or something. They're moving on to other suspects." I said "Hannah, if they said that so you could hear it, then it was a set up to fuck with your mind to make you think the heat is off of you. Assume every step you take is being analyzed. Don't let your guard down until they're off campus, and given the current circumstance-- Don't let your guard down at all. One of us is the murderer." Then I walked away. We all meet up in the cafeteria for dinner. the rest of Party Crew that has no idea is sitting at a different table. The main crew, which is all of us, sat with each other, and excluded ourselves from our own organization. Kyler said "We should kick all those motherfuckers out." Hannah said "We should kick you out." Kyler begins to apologize and Hannah cut him off and said "I don't want to hear it." Quinn said "Guys....... Who sent the video?" Chris said "Good question. It's all I've been thinking about." I noticed something very perculiar. Then it hit me. I said "Guys, remember when Niki said she had all those cameras set up?" Kyler banged his fist into the table and said "Holy shit, good memory Lacey." Keith said "But she was with us that night." Kyler said "Yeah, but she didn't throw Elena's body in the river. She just so happen to "stay" upstairs and clean the floors." I can't believe I just threw my own friend under the bus but the theory fits too well that even I felt unsettled. Kyler added "Niki... Who is also conviently not here right now." Quinn added more to the thought "Who was also convienently not there when we all received the text message." Chris called her and she answered. He put her on speaker phone and we all gathered around to hear it. Chris said "Hey remember those cameras you said you had set up at party house? Did you get the videos from them yet?" Niki said "Yeah... About that.... I went back to get them and they were gone.. I didn't want to freak anyone out." Kyler said "Oh, they were gone? They just disappeared? How fucking convienent Niki. You said there were hidden, that means only you knew where they were hidden." Niki said "I'm not going to sit here and have you blame me for something I didn't do," and then she hung up. We all sat down and Keith said "Honestly, sending a text like that seems like something Niki would do. Remember when Niki was playing pranks on everyone that one Halloween, making us all think that we we're fucking with each other and she didn't confess it was all her until we all started getting mad and accusing each other?" Chris said "Holy shit, I remember that like it was yesterday. She even went as far as throwing a brick in Quinn's living room window with Lacey's charm bracelet around it, and even making Lacey and I think the other was cheating on each other." Quinn said "Jesus, I remember that. Tell me why we're still friends with her again my mom grounded me for a fucking month because of that. She thought I cheated on some girl or some shit..?" Keith added "See that's it. It's got to be Niki. She's gettig under our skin. She just wants to fuck with our heads. We just ignore the text like it never happened, delete it, and move on, don't even bring the text up to Niki because it'll satisfy her." Kyler said "Exactly. That's why she hasn't even brought it up. If she actually got the text too I'm sure she would've mentioned it by now." Aidon said "Niki is a little fucked up in ways like this.. Halloween being a good example, but are we really sure Niki would do something like this when an actual murder was involved? I mean that's a little twisted even for Niki." Quinn said "We're talking about a bitch who threw a brick through my window and put laxatives in your potato salad and watching us all blame each other for it, risking the break of lifelong friendships and relationships, and calling that funny." Aidon said "Good point." Chris sat back and said "What else did she do that Halloween?" Kyler said "She broke into my car and planted the laxatives in there making me look like the person who put it in Aidon's food." Kyler's mouth dropped wide open and said "Guys! She made me look like the culprit of the laxatives that Halloween. My jacket was on Elena's body!" Quinn said "Fuck.... You don't think Niki actually killed her though do you? I mean we're talking about these sick fucked up things she likes to call jokes, but I don't think she would've actually gone as far as murdering someone just to play a "prank." Or playing dress-up with a dead body even if she isn't the murderer." Kyler said "It's just a theory, but with all of us sticking together Niki has been the only one who's been distant and shady." I said "Niki is one of my good friends, but I agree. She has been a bit shady. She's also been starting to hang out with other people outside of crew, which isn't really that big of a deal, but it is a good front to make herself look "too busy" for us, and given the current circustance we should be sticking together." Quinn said "If you know your name is at risk for being tarnished for havng involvement in a murder and covering up a murder, how could you be too busy for anything else?" Dinner came to an end and we all went to the boy's dorm lobby, which surprisingly isn't as heavily supervised like everyone had assumed it would be. We all chilled in the dorm kitchen because it was the only place to talk in private without being crowded in the room. The next morining we all resume classes as normal, only none of us are as happy and chatty as we used to be. I see Niki in the hallway after second period and stopped her and said "Where have you been?" She said "Hanging out with my friends who don't cover up murders." My mouth dropped because I cannot believe she just said that. I stopped her and pushed her against the lockers and said "You grimely little cunt, you were there that night too don't forget that." I didn't even give her a chance to respond I immediately walked away afterwards. I told Chris about it and he said "What the hell is her problem?" I said "I don't know, maybe she's in denial and shock about everything. I mean she was the one cleaning up the blood." Chris said "Doesn't give her a right to say some shit like that, especailly in the middle of the goddamn hallway." Right as I walked into the Humanities class which is taught by one of the creepy teachers I saw on the first night and he said "Lacey move to the front desk in the middle row. I said "Why?" He said "Because I'm the teacher and I told you to that's why." Me and Chris gave each other a puzzled look and Chris started to sit down next to me and the teacher said "Nope. Chris move to the back of the room." Chris said "What the fuck man?" He said "That's it, detention." I said "What the hell is your problem?" He said "I guess you want detention too. Both of you get out of my class and go to the AP office." As we walked out of class Chris said "Fuck that guy, and fuck the AP office. Lets just go back to my dorm." Chris and I started to fuck once we realized we we're going to be alone for a little bit, and it's been awhile since we've had sex considering all the stress we're under. Afterwards I said "Thank you." He said "For what? The sex?" I said "No. For always being there for me." He just looked at me and smiled and then I added "You should be thanking me for the sex." Then he laughed and said "I probably should because I don't feel frustrated anymore." I said "Me either actually." He laughed and said "I guess our bodies already thanked each other." I smiled really big and he kissed me. Later during study hall I told everyone what happened earlier with Niki. Kyler said "That's it. Who wants to leave campus with me and go into town? I need fresh air." We all collectively agreed that this school is making us go a litte crazy. Once we get into town we do a little shopping but there aren't many stores to choose from. "Downtown" was literally a block long. Kyler said "Hey lets go to the library and do some research on our friend Niki." I said "What do you mean?" He said "Maybe there's a lot more about her we don't know about." Once we get to the library we do as much web searching as we possibly can considering the public library computer doesn't have any school-blocks. Kyler said he can't find anything at all then I overlooked his shoulder and I said "That's because Niki isn't short for Nicole. Nicole Farrow isn't her real name." He said "Seriously? I always assumed that's what Niki is short for after all these years." I said "Yeah, I guess I'm the only one she told her real name to." Kyler said "Well, what is it?" I said "It's Nikalette, and her middle name is Summer." Chris said "...Nikalette Summer Farrow...?" I said "Yup, that's her." Kyler searched it up and immediately an article about a little girl who was the same age Niki was back in 2004 appeared. Apparently the little girl was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after watching her father commit suicide. Kyler said "This would explain the psychotic behavior but this little girl doesn't look like Niki." I said "It kind of does actually." He said "She has blonde hair, Niki doesn't." Chris added "Yeah, Niki had brown hair when we met her too." I said "Guys, hair color can change over the years, and plus, Niki's mom is a hair stylist. Coincidence? Maybe her mom created a new persona for Niki. Changed her hair and even shortened her name to "create" a new life for her after watching her dad commit suicide. I mean why else would you move from Santa Clarita, California to the small not-so-well-known town of West Chetser, Pennsylvania? Usually it's the other way around. Nobody from a city like that goes to a town like West Chester unless they're running from something." Quinn said "Damn, good point." Chandler said "Oh my God, I remember being high off shrooms one night three summers ago, and I walked in on Niki dying her hair. I said "I thought you were naturally a brunette," but after that I don't remember anything, and the next day I asked Niki what happened the night before in the bathroom, and she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about so I assumed it was the shrooms, but... I guess not.... I just now remembered because of what we're talking about." Keith said "Guys... this is getting weirder and weirder." I said "I agree." Chandler also added "Guys, I did research about Shirestown before coming here. You won't believe what I found." Kyler said "Please do share." Chandler was hesitant to speak so I spoke for her. I said "Our school was considered to be a "possessed" land by all the towns people. In 1842 when the buildings were first built it was a hospital for war vets, then it became a hospital for the mentally impaired in the 20s. Psycho serial killers were sent to this hospital. I'm talking about the psycho killers of the 1920s man, they were a lot different than the psycho killers these days. Probably much worse. They've actually hung people here too, which was an execution method that was strictly prohibited by that point, but they did it anyway. Medical files disappeared and the staff would act as if they had no idea about the patient, or that they even existed. The families of these patients who kept questioning eventually disappeared as well...... The hospital remained abandoned until the 50s when it opened up as a high school.  Not even two months into the school year teenage faces ended up on milk cartoons and newspapers because they had gone missing. The school was going to be investigated, and that same day the building burst into flames with the police inside. They left the bodies, and all the remains untouched because they considered the land to be cursed. The neighborhood where the farmhouse is, well it used to be a neighborhood, it was abandoned back in the 30s after the Shirestown Trial when they originally deemed the land as cursed. That neighborhood has been overgrown by trees and grass, houses have caved in, yet our farmhouse is still in tip top shape and fairly new. The neighborhood has been off the maps since the 30s and the only way to get to it is from inside campus. The buildings of campus remained untouched until they opened this year." Chandler said "I think we awoken something that was dormant for so many years." Kyler said "I don't believe in ghosts Chandler. I seriously doubt you two are the only ones who knew about the history of this place." I said "Then explain the farmhouse." Kyler said "Easy. It could be used for the school. I found out the electricty generator does in fact go to the school." I said "That doesn't make sense why would the school need a farmhouse?" He said "I don't know Lacey but it's the only thing that makes sense okay... Ghosts don't build houses or wire them with electricity." I said "....Good point." Chandler said "It could be a cult that's carried the tradition from their ancestors." Kyler said "Okay, but what does this have to do with Niki?" Chris said "What if Niki knows about the land's history and the farm house is just a coincidence? You know how Niki gets about this shit. She'll watch paranormal videos on YouTube for hours and be obsessed with telling scary stories, which isn't abnormal, but she freaks out when nobody else wants to tell scary stories the minute she does." Quinn said "Holy fuck! Remember that one year at camp when we all shared the same cabin, and Niki told the story about a little girl living on her own in the woods after her dad died? Which now that I think about it, that is really too coincidental." Kyler said "Okay, this is getting way too fucking weird now and how do you remember that?" Quinn said "Now that we're actually digging up the past I'm remembering all this shit. Of course everything back then was overlooked because we weren't looking at it in a prespective like this." The librarian snuck up behind us and we all jumped and screamed and she said "The library is closed now." Kyler said "It's 2:00...? The sign says it closes at 6:00." She said in the same monotone voice "The library is closed now." We all just look bewildered but weren't going to fight it and left as fast as we could. We didn't see Niki at dinner which was beginning to be a usual thing. Kyler said "I'm exhausted from playing Scooby Doo and The Mystery Gang man. I just want shit to go back to normal." Quinn said "Maybe we should've just called the police." Kyler said "I'm beginning to think we should've too, but now it's too late. We can't undo what we did." Chris whispered in my ear and said "Come to my dorm tonight I don't want you in there." I said "You don't even have to tell me twice."

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

The next day, Niki's roommates reported her missing. The school was on a campus wide curfew and there were police everywhere. We weren't even allowed to leave campus during the day anymore. We met up in the courtyard and said "Do you think Niki is actually missing or do you think she's making herself look as if she's not apart of this." Kyler said "Probably." "Well, at least Thanksgiving break is next week. We all get to go home." Chandler said. A few days later on Friday evening the school was gradually becoming empty. As I walked into my room with Chris I see two older people crying, and packing Elena's things into boxes. Obviously I'm assuming it was her parents. Chris asked "Did they find her?" Her parents turned around and said "No, they called off the search and deemed her dead." Her mom walked over to me and said through her tears "How do you not know what happened to her, you're her roommate you must know something!" Then she ran out of the room crying and her husband said "I apologize for my wife, this is obviously a hard time for us. Elena was our oldest child and her sister doesn't want to leave the school. We just don't want to risk losing another." He walked out to go find his wife and I looked over at Chris and said "Elena has a sister!? That's on campus!!!" Chris said "Holy shit." I started to cry. I couldn't even imagine if that was my father gathering my things like that. As soon as we get back home the first thing I do is run up to my father and hug him and I just started balling my eyes out. He said "Well, you clearly missed me." I playfully, but also seriously punched him in the chest, which is rock hard and muscular, so I really only hurt my hand in the process and my dad started chuckling and said "Wow, ow, that hurt so much." He couldn't tell that I was truly upset about something at first but when we got into the house, he sat next to me on the couch and said "Is everything okay?" As soon as I was about to speak Chris came downstairs and said he was going to go home for a little bit to see his mom and his family, and I hugged and kissed him goodbye and he said "I'll be back in a few hours, don't worry." Then he looked over to my dad and said "See you later." Before my dad could attempt to continue the conversation I said "I'm going upstairs to take a nap, I missed my bed so much." He responded with "I cleaned the sheets, and even washed the shirt you make that teddy bear wear." I laughed and said "That's his favorite shirt." My father laughed as well and said "Aren't you a little too old for teddy bears now Lacey?" I was four steps up at this point, but I walked back down towards the kitchen and said "No. I'll never be too old for that teddy bear. You gave me that teddy bear, and it was even yours as a kid. And I'm going to give that same teddy bear to my kid one day." He smiled and said "I was just messing with you, kiddo." I was just about to drift off into a deep sleep but then I jumped up because I suddenly remembered Elena, and Niki. I walked back downstairs, and my dad was on the couch. I sat down next to him and he said in a heavily sarcastic tone "Wow, why did you nap for so long?" I said "Did you hear about anything that's happened at my school, like on the news or anything?" He said "No..... Why? Was your school on the news or something?" I looked shocked and said "You didn't hear about the girl that went missing?" He said "Holy shit. No." I loooked down at my teddy bear and said "She was my roommate." He said "Jesus Christ Lacey, is this why you're so upset?" I said "Yeah, I mean, I didn't really know her at all we never talked much, but today I saw her parents packing up her stuff, and they were crying, and apparently the police called off the search. I just couldn't imagine if that was you packing up my stuff and not knowing what happened to me." He looked at me and said "Lacey, I don't know what I would do either, but I'm thanking the universe right now that it wasn't. You have a lot of friends who go there you should be fine. Just be careful and do what I always taught you."  I said to myself you never taught me how to cover up a murder or how I should feel about it afterwards. I suddenly get a text message and looked down at my phone, and it was a group message from a blocked number. It had Chris, Quinn, Kyler, Chandler, Aidon, Hannah, and Keith inside the group message and it said "How sweet. Lacey misses her daddy. Tell that bitch not to ask to be home schooled or I'll light the bitch on fire." My dad looks over at me and says "Was that Chris? When's he coming back I want to know when to lock the door." I said "It's okay, I'll take care of it." He said "Alright." Then he stood up, kissed the top of my head and said "Goodnight." After he walked upstairs I started sobbing. I threw my face into one of the couch pillows. Chris called my phone and he said "Hey baby, I'm almost there. Did you see the group text?" I said through my tears "Yes." He said "It's going to be okay baby, I'll be there in just a few minutes." A knock appeared at the door and I opened it expecting Chris, but it was Quinn and Chandler. I said "Guys, my dad was only expecting Chris to stay the night." Quinn said "I don't care man, did you not see that text? We're not leaving you alone." Later the whole crew showed up and we sat in my room all night without being able to sleep. I said "Guys I'm really fucking scared. This person knows entirely too much. I thought it would stop now that we're not at school, but it's still going. How could that person know my dad said I could be homeschooled if I wanted if I could last until Thanksgiving break? He didn't say that over the phone or anything and he said it before the first day of school." Kyler said "It has to be Niki, Lacey." I said "She didn't even know my dad said that. How would anyone fucking know that besides me and my dad? I think you're right Kyler someone set us specifically up. They had to have been watching us before we even got to school." Chris said "Lacey, please. I think you're overreacting. Giving everything that's happened it would be common sense to want to be homeschooled. It was probably just a coincidence." I burried my face into my pillow and said to myself "I really hope so." Chandler said "Guys, my mom didn't even know a girl from our school went missing. It's like they're trying to cover it up or something." I said "Yeah, my dad didn't know either." Quinn said "It makes sense, right? Giving the history of the land I would want to keep it a secret too if I were them. The whole "the land is possessed" theory would be re-awaken and the school would be shut down and the local area would officially go to shit and turn into an actual ghost town. It's weird too because I went by Niki's house just to see her mom and talk to her considering Niki is quote on quote "missing," but there was mail stacked up by the front door. Newspapers from September. It's like her mom disappeared into thin air too." Keith who showed up later through my window, said "Is anyone else starting to see a pattern here? Someone dies when Niki's around, and then her and her mother flee to cover it up. That's if the article we read was actually about Niki, which at this point I'm not doubting it."

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

It's Thanksgiving, and my dad and I joined Chris' family since we don't really have much of our own, at least locally. A couple hours into the get together the same unknown number from the group text a couple days ago texted us again. It said "Gobble Gobble bitches. I'm thankful for you guys as my own personal dolls, that I now control. What are you guys thankful for? Xoxo" I looked up at Chris across the table who read the text and finished at the same time I did, and we both had a shocked expression on our face. After dinner the crew met up at our old meet-up spot, under the bridge at Falcon Park. Chris said "This is bullshit. This has gone on way too long. We need to find Niki and confront her, this isn't funny anymore." Kyler said "I just don't see why Niki would do this." A couple of days went by and it was time to go back to school. By the time we pull up to the school we see ambulence's and police cars everywhere. I look over at Chris very puzzled and then we see Quinn getting out of the car running up to his friend TJ who was already here and standing outside. I see them talking for a little bit and Quinn began to grow pale-- well, much paler than he usually is. He walked back up to Chris' car and said "Drive to the diner in town we all need to talk." In the rearview mirror I see him tell the rest of the party crew car by car, then he gets back into his own and follows. We all anxiously cram into the biggest booth the diner provided and Quinn said to one of the waitresses "We're all going to need coffee." I couldn't take it anymore and said "Quinn, what the fuck is happening?" Quinn sat down and said "There was a dead body mutualated in the main courtyard. It's been there for a couple days." I said "Who was it?" Quinn paused as the waitress was serving us all coffees and creamers when she walked off he sipped his black coffee and said "Niki. It was Niki. She's apparently been dead since Wednesday night." Chris said "That means she didn't send the text on Thanksgiving. That means who the fuck did then?" Keith said "I honestly felt safer when I thought it was Niki fucking with us. Now it could literally be anybody, and they're obviously not done killing." Kyler added "Or fucking with us." I said "That means someone we don't even know, knows what we did." The crew sat in silence and we all got a really unsettled feeling. I could tell just by looking at everyone's faces. I added "I met Elena's parents when they were packing up her stuff... They said she has a sister who goes to our school. I'm guessing she's underclassmen." Kyler said "Well, we got to find out who her sister is." I said "True, but do you really think it could be her? I mean, if that were my sister and I know what happened to her, I would've rat the second I had the chance." Kyler said "If that were my sister, I'd seek revenge. Maybe she would too." We all drove back to the school a couple hours and six rounds of coffee later, and the police and ambulences were gone as if it never even happened. We walked to the main courtyard that was still caution taped off. I felt uneasy because I was looking at the place a very good friend of mine was decapitated, and torn apart limb from limb. Even with her twisted sense of humor and awful past she was a great friend. Giving the current circumstance it's safe to say she wasn't the one sending us those text messages. We all knew it, but nobody wanted to admit they were wrong, because that just means we'd have to think about who it could possibly be and we had no idea who to put on the suspect board. Chris could tell I was feeling really uneasy so he touched my lower back and said "Baby are you okay?" I couldn't say anything before the feeling turned into an urge, and I ran over to the bushes and threw up. Chris came over with me and held my hair and comforted me when I was done. I began crying and just put my head in his lap. A few days go by and Hannah, Chandler, and I go to Niki's room. We know Niki's mom is M.I.A. so no one would come get her stuff. Probably a horrible thing to do, but we wanted to rummage through her stuff before the school just threw it all away. Besides, some of it really is memories she's shared with us. Can't just throw something like that away. I see Chandler and Hannah looking through her personal belongings and I'm hacking her laptop to get passed the password. I guess Chandler saw me do it and she said "Woaaaaaaah. How'd you do that?" Hannah said "Lacey's been hacking shit forever. Literally since we were little kids she would hack people's MySpace accounts." I said "You're making me sound like a criminal." Then I giggled and added "It's a good skill to have especially in times like this." However I couldn't find a single thing on her laptop upon officially accessing it. The whole computer was wiped clean, and I thought that was very suspicious and strange and so did Hannah, and Chandler. I put the computer through a recovering process and only a few things resurfaced. Mostly just pictures from a camping trip we all took back a few years ago. Everything was so simple then and we were all so happpy and young. I transfered those pictures to an SD card and gave up on the computer when there was no dirty evidence to be found, or at least recovered. I look around at some of her jewelry and photos. She had one of me and her from that camping trip and it's my favorite picture of us. Back then Niki was a great friend, not a suspected psychopath. It kind of upsets me how we all threw her under the bus so fast just to make us feel safer and content with the situation. None of us ever gave Niki the chance to defend herself. Then again, she didn't exactly make it so easy for us to do so anyway, she tried to avoid us the best she could which still doesn't sit right with me. Why would someone who was innocent in the matter act so suspicious and make themselves look guilty? Chandler sat down on her bed and said "It's weird touching her stuff knowing she isn't here anymore." I was beginning to agree and Hannah walks out of the closet wearing her clothes. I said "Hannah, what the fuck? That's not a very good image. Just walking around in the dead girl's clothes. Lets make us look even more suspicious." Hannah said "Well, I don't have very many clothes. Haven't you wondered why I've been borrowing yours all the time? My mom sold my clothes at a yard sale for drug money when I was away at camp. I literally own three weeks worth of camp clothes."  I said "I honestly never thought anything wrong by you borrowing my clothes. You and I always shared each other's clothes. I'm sorry Hannah." She said "It's fine. I just didn't want to admit it. So would it be really bad if I took some of her clothes?" Chandler said "Well, it's not like the cops are gonna know that's Niki's clothes. Just don't take all of them, that'll look weird." I agreed with Chandler and Hannah said "Well, what about the others? What if they notice I'm in Niki's clothes? I don't want them to start suspecting me of anything." I said "Just tell the truth. You know none of them is going to judge you. We all know how your mom can be." Everyone was back at school but giving the tragedy classes were canceled for a few days, but the library was open until 3 AM for studying. We all met late that night around midnight in the library to actually talk about Niki. Quinn said "Even though she broke my living room window, I'll miss the girl." We were all pretty much quiet and Kyler lit a blunt and said "This is for you, Niki." Chris said "Are you an idiot? Don't smoke that in here." Kyler said "Relax, I do this all the time." I whispered in Chris' ear and said "I still want to sleep next to you." He said "I wouldn't blame you..... I'm a cuddling god." I started to smile but giving my current stress about everything I wasn't really in the joking mood. It was like a heavy dark cloud of negativity was following me and the weight of the world was sitting on my chest making it hard to breathe. Quinn said "It's weird how much this school seems to keep people in more so than the people it keeps out." Keith looked puzzled and said "What are you saying?" Quinn said "We all have cars, we all could just simply pack them up and never come back, but ever since Elena the school has been on lockdown which is understandable, but they won't let us out to even go into town but anybody can just show up. They let anybody in. It's just fucking weird. It's like they're protecting the outsiders from us, and not protecting us from the outsiders." Chris said "Everything about this school is starting to get really whack. I knew this place sounded too good to be true."

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

After the bell rang for humanities class the teacher called my name and said "Lacey, come here." I walked over puzzled and said "Is this about my paper? You gave me a grace period since Niki was my friend." He said "No this isn't about your paper, but it is about the class assignment you turned in yesterday." I said "Okay, what about it?" He said "You didn't get a good grade on it." I said "No kidding. I wonder why? Kind of hard to fit in studying while dodging a murderer on campus." The teacher clearly didn't appreciate my dark sarcastic remark. However, he said, "I can understand that and that is why I'm setting you up with a tutor. Scheduled tutoring, that way you're forced to have study breaks." I said "Gee thanks." Then walked out. I was fine with the tutoring. It wouldn't hurt. As long as he wasn't my tutor I'd be fine. I met up with Chris in the courtyard who surprised me with flowers. He said "I know you said you didn't want a party or gifts or anything, because of everything that's happened, but happy birthday." I said "Thank you and happy birthday to you too (We share the same birthday.) I didn't get anything for you though, I really thought we weren't doing gifts I'm sorry." Chris said "Baby, don't worry about it, all I want is you." I smiled and said referring to the flowers "But it's going to be hard for these things to get any sun with the January clouds." He said "It's alrght. Not worried about the flowers. Just you." I said "I'm okay. Just taking it day by day." Chris said "It's been two months since the last text and murder. Maybe this whack job found other people to terroize, or killed themselves, or died some other way. A whack job like that has to have a lot of people wanting to kill them or arrest them." I said "I feel it in my gut. It's not over. This person wants us to pay." Chris said "Jesus, Lacey. Don't say that shit." I said "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He said "It's okay. Just come back to my dorm with me, we'll make shitty cup of noodles for dinner and watch movies." I smiled and said "I would love that." On the way back to Chris' room we walk past Kyler who we haven't really associated with since early December-- his choice. He grew distant from us. In fact, the whole crew seemed to be distancing themselves. Me and Chris are basically the only ones who really have stuck together. We all still talk we just don't hang out as much. We all either joined a sports team, or some kind of club to occupy our time as a valid excuse to really not associate with each other. That was never explicitly said by anyone, but it was pretty evident. It also helped distract us from Elena and Niki and the secret filmmaker who gets off on fucking with us. Chris started the talking and said "Hey man." Kyler said "Sup?" Chris said "Wanna hang out later? Just a low key thing in my dorm for Lacey's birthday." Kyler said "Don't you mean for both of your birthdays?" Then he kind of smirked. Chris said "Duh" then Kyler said "Nah, I have weight training tonight for boxing. There's a meet this weekend." Chris said "Alright. Some other time then." I said "Shit, that reminds me. I have to go to tutoring tonight otherwise I get kicked off the swim team." Chris said "Tutoring? Since when?" I said "Dickhead humanities teacher signed me up for it because I got a D on our assignment I need to raise that D otherwise I get kicked out and/or benched and there's a meet next weekend." Chris said "You'll raise that D but is the swim team really the reason you're worried." I said "It clears my head." He didn't say anything, he just sighed heavily and said "Here, take some cash and get some snacks from the vending machine at least." I said "I'm sorry, baby. I would love to cuddle with you and watch shitty movies all night." He said "Yeah, me too." Then he walked off without even giving me a kiss. I know I've been acting distant lately, but can you blame me? Everyone seems to have forgotten. Either that or they're a lot better at pretending it never happened as opposed to me. How can you just forget being framed for murder, being filmed dumping a body, and having one of your best friends decapitated. At least I didn't have to see her body like Elena's. I think that really would've destroyed every ounce of composure I have left. A week goes by and Chris and I haven't really talked. I haven't slept in his room and he hasn't slept in mine. During the swim meet I saw him in the bleachers. That made me profoundly estatic. It made me realize that he's the only one really there for me. I need to be there for him as much as he is for me. After all, he went through everything I did too. We need each other now more than ever. After the meet I find Chris waiting outside the locker room for me. Before he even had a chance to say anything I practically tackled him by jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around him. He said "Nice to see you too." I let go and stand up and said "Thank you for being here tonight." He said "Of course. I wouldn't miss it." I said "Before you say anything... I'm sorry for acting distant. I love you." He just smiles really big and said "I love you too. Every one deals with things differently." I said "Well, we went through the same shit together. So we should help each other get through this. Distance isn't the answer. At least not for me and you." He said "I like that." Later that night around midnight Keith comes into the room to find me and Chris cuddling. Keith said "Didn't mean to interrupt." Chris said "We're just laying down, you're good." Keith sat down on his bed and said "Something's up with Kyler." I said "What do you mean?" Keith said "I didn't wanna say anything before I had any proof, but I think he's doing drugs." Chris asked "Hasn't he always?" Keith said "No, I don't mean weed. I mean like hardcore shit." Chris asked "And you have proof of this?" Keith said "Well, not physical proof, but I saw it with my own eyes. I think it started with steroids because of boxing, and I think it's escalated from that." I said "Well, if it's anything we know for sure about Kyler, it's that there's no changing his mind. If he's set on something he's going to do it, regardless of anyone else's opinion, no matter how self destructive it is." Keith said "Despite all the shit, we're still friends with him, right? We should be there for him." Chris said "Honestly, fuck that. I know we all played a part in that night, but the determination, and manipulating Kyler implanted in all of us that night has made me look at him different ever since. I'll be cordial with him, just because of the circumstance, but he is not my friend. And whether he had anything to do with her death or not, the fact he was so adamant about not going to the police, and saying he would frame us if we did, just makes him just as dsgusting as the person who did that to Elena." I said "Chris...... That night is all our faults. None of us went to the police." Chris said "Yeah, because Kyler was going to frame anybody that would. In our minds, we were frantic, scared, obviously never had to deal with a situation like that before, and we didn't wanna be framed." I said "I think our fear of being framed, made us actual suspects.... I mean.... We did get rid of the body." Keith said "I'm done talking about this."

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As I'm in the locker room changing after a swim practice the locker room gradually clears out and I'm left alone which isn't unusual, but today something felt off. I felt paranoid, and I felt like I was being watched. As I get out of the shower, and head back to my locker to change the lock was opened and so was the locker. Whoever did it knew my combination. It was a personal lock not a school issued one. How this person found it out is beyond me, and it shook me to my core. I slowly approached it not knowing what to expect, and my clothes were gone, every thing in my locker was gone. There was just a polaroid of Niki, taken by her killer. She was tied up and her mouth was duct taped shut, she had tears coming down her eyes, and she was holding a sign that said "you're next." I ran across campus in my towel to Chris with the polaroid in my hand. I got a lot of laughs and dirty looks from people as I ran all the way to the other side of the school in my towel. Not only does this person want to murder us, I guess they want us to face humiliation as well. I was out of breath and so shaken by the time I reached Chris, that he started freaking out and panicking because he wanted to know what was wrong with me. I showed him the polaroid, and told him the person took my clothes and even my backpack with all my school work in it. Chris said "holy shit," because that was all he was physically capable of letting out, because he was so distraught from the situation. Keith was in the room witnessing all of this and said "If the killer took your clothes, that means they're probably going to use them on the next victim. Ya know, like he did with Kyler's jacket on Elena's body." This made me start crying even harder and Chris just held me tightly. He wasn't sure what else he could, and he knew nothing would make this situation go away or make it any better. He felt defeated. We all did.

[makadelikz]

the girl next door updated 03/02/2017

The Girl Next Door ♥ CHAPTER ONE:

The sound of moving trucks awoke Leon from his sleep. He gazes out the window with a frowned and restless face, and sees two big Uhaul trucks next door at the house that's been abandoned for six months. The last people who lived there just seemingly disappeared and Leon's curiousity grew because he never recalled seeing 'for sale' signs putting the house on the market for any new owners, and why would the previous owners who just up and vanished be moving stuff back into their house when they never took anything with them in the first place? However, his greatest concern at the moment was the loud Uhaul truckers waking him up so early, but he shortly realized he can't exactly be angry when he looked at the time -- 2:30 PM. Leon walks away from the window and hops in the shower, and afterwards sits on his bed, pulls out a black tray and begins to break a nug to roll a blunt. His roommate, and friend, Vince knocked on the door, but barged in anyway, realized he was about to smoke a blunt and joined him. Vince said "Did you see that someone is moving into the mysterious house next door?" Leon responds "Yeah, woke my ass up." Vince condenscendingly, but in a jokingly manner said "That's what you get for living in the attic. You can hear everything outside through these windows. I sleep like a baby in my room." Leon jabs back and said "No, you sleep like a baby after your daily six pack." Leon knew Vince was just being his usual self, with the disdainful remarks, but he ultimately knew that Vince means no harm. Vince is a straight-up guy. If he didn't like you he would tell you, and tell you exactly why he doesn't like you. He's not a fake chit-chat kind of guy. Vince sometimes doens't take the jabs as well as he throws them out though and responded with "Fuck you, I don't get drunk everyday and you know I'm fucking right." Leon responds in a tone as if he's sarcastically agreeing with him just to get him to be quiet about the topic, but Leon did know that he was right about the windows. He then added "But I was the last pick of the batch, it's not like I had much of a choice. It was the attic or the streets." Vince lowers his head and realized that he may've hit a soft spot for Leon, but then proceeds to walk out the room anyway shouting "See you tonight for the race," while running down the attic stairs. The attic was renovated and turned into a bedroom specifically for Leon. So the windows aren't meant to dillute as much sound as one of the bedroom windows considering the attic, like any ordinary attic, is generally used for storage, or not used at all.  Leon was happy to have a place to call home, whether he slept in the attic or in the shed out back. A home isn't really something he's used to having up until now. Now all Leon needs is to get used to opening up to people more. As 5:00 rolls around the other housemates get home from their daily lives of blending into the societal norm only to prep for a night filled with illicit activites. It's mostly their participation in the underground street racing world, that the leader of this house and crew practically invented in this area. His name is Dominic Toretto and he refers to his crew as family. He's very selective about who he trusts and even more so about who he lets in his direct crew. Dominic's right hand man is Vince Scaletta who is the hard-headed, quick-tempered one of the batch. Complete opposite of Dom's calm, level-headed way of thinking, and wise decision making. However, Vince is extremely loyal and trustworthy. He doesn't give much of a damn about anyone or anything at all, but if he does care about you, then you mean the world to him. Vince and Dom have been lifelong friends since the third grade. Way before the corrupt street life played a hand in anything. The most 'innocent' one of the crew is Mia, Dom's sister. She keeps the crew in check. She doesn't exactly participate in the charlatan activites of the crew because she doesn't agree with much of it. However, she is very aware of it all and just turns the other cheek. Her major role of the crew is the front of running the Toretto Cafe. It makes it appear as if all the family income comes fromt the family owned businesses rather than the illegal heists and street races. Then there's Letty Ortiz. She's Dom's girlfriend and they've known each other since junior high. They grew up together, always sneaking out and going to their own little drag races. That was back when they raced just for the fun of it rather than street cred. However, that's where this whole gig began. That just leaves Jesse Green and Leon Morgan, who unlike the rest of the crew, do not have significant amount of history with Dom. They come from different parts of the world and have their own histories. However, Dom saw something in them to give them a chance and he clearly trusts them with his life otherwise they wouldn't be apart of the crew and would've never moved in. Jesse is the smart techie of the crew. He has a history of hacking computers and high-tech security systems, among other things. He turned his hobby into designing mods for street racing cars and he knows his way around an engiene like the back of his hand and that was obviously his guaranteed initiation. However, he has the sweetest personality and honestly wouldn't hurt a fly, which makes him different from the rest of the crew by far. He isn't a very physical person and generally avoids confrontation. Jesse's first run-in with the crew was by accident when he was running into the garage, pleading for help, running from a group of people who basically wanted him dead. Still nobody knows exactly why they were after him. To Jesse's luck, Dom is highly respected in the streets, especially on his turf and they backed down with their tails between their legs. Jesse doesn't appear to be anyone who would be apart of this life, his appearance says cliche stoner kid who plays too much video games but he wasn't running from a group of people who wanted him dead for no reason. Finally that just leaves Leon who just happened to cross paths with Toretto unintentionally. He was making bets on drag races at Race Wars, which is the legal monthly event founded by Toretto. Leon was making bets without knowing that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd and the racers, but the thing that makes this event legal is that it bans gambling. So as a result, Leon assumed he was the only one amongst the crowd making bets, but illegal activity is not out of his norm. Dom found out he made a pretty huge bet on him to win so he confronted Leon and asked "Why'd you place so much money down? What made you $800 dollars sure that I was going to win? That's a lot of money to throw down on a ten second race." Leon bluntly responded "Because muscle always beats import." Just that response alone and Dom was interested in getting to know Leon. He found out Leon was homeless and made an income off selling drugs and making bets. Dom took him in immediately but Leon having this enigma and not very open with talking about his past or himself in general he really had to work for Toretto's trust, which he ineviatebly got.

CHAPTER TWO:

After the race, which of course Dom won, the crew heads home to celebrate like they normally do. Leon stayed outside to smoke a blunt by himself, being the introvert that he is. But just as he was about to spark it he noticed a very young and beautiful girl at the mysterious, Uhaul truck, house next door. Leon stares in awe at her beauty and with curiousity as she seems to be alone. Instead of sparking the blunt he sparks up the courage to go talk to her and introduces himself and says "Hey. I'm Leon. I live next door." The girl is a bit startled and hesitates to respond. Perhaps it was because she wasn't expecting to be approached in a new neighborhood, especially at eleven o'clock at night. Leon notices that she was a bit startled and said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just saw you were moving boxes all by yourself and figured I could lend a hand." The girl said "It's okay I'm not frightened. Just wasn't expecting to be spoken to since I don't know anyone here." Then she let out an innocent laugh. She continued and said "My name is Lacey, by the way, and I appreaciate the offer, but I only have a few boxes left and they're quite small and I wouldn't want to waste your time." She pointed to Leon's house with cars piling up outside and said "Besides, they might be looking for you." Leon said "They're not worried about me, and it's no problem. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask; and I literally mean anything... I work on cars, electrical stuff, plumbing stuff. I'm very handy." Lacey says "That's actually really good to know, thank you." She smiles so brightly even in the dark of the night.  Leon almost doesn't want to walk away, he wants to continue talking to her, but he knows he has to go home now. He knows that if he tries to overstay his welcome Lacey might feel off about him. He said "Well, goodnight and welcome to the neighborhood." She said in a soft and gentle voice "Goodnight." When Leon gets back to his house he heads for his room, ignoring the crowd which is not unusual for him to do, but before he could make it to his room Vince stopped him and asked "Where you going twinkle toes?" It was a gay joke implying that's what Leon is for not wanting to party. Leon responds short and blunt and said "To my room." Come on, have one beer. There's all kinds of hot chicks here too. Maybe you'll walk up to your attic with a girl in your arm for once." Leon said "Nah, I'm good. I'm tired." Vince shouts "Come on dude, when's the last time you even got laid?" As Leon continues to walk away he shouts "None of your business, Vince." With Vince knowing he wasn't going to break through Leon tonight he casually retreats back to the party. Leon lays in bed as the faint party sounds surround him. It's not that he's anti-social it's just that the party scenes aren't necessarily his thing. As he tries to ignore the sounds of a large crowd his mind drifts off to Lacey, next door. He doesn't seem to understand why he can't get her off his mind. He's been with tons of girls socially and sexually before, but not one has every stayed on his mind for too long after the encounter. But this girl, he actually had to muster up the courage to just introduce himself. At this point he assumed that it must be the blunt he eventually got to smoking that's affecting his thought process and he decides that he will sleep it off and the thoughts will go away.

CHAPTER THREE:

The next afternoon Leon wakes up peacefully. This time there were no loud Uhaul truckers yelling and making a ton of noise. This time there was no Vince barging in and making himself comfortable. He rolls out of bed and continues to go about his daily routine. As he's driving to clock in at his normal job at Toretto's Garage as a mechanic he involuntarily glances at the house next door as it's nearly impossible to overlook. Every thought about the girl next door had almost slipped his mind until now. Leon found himself thinking about her the whole drive to work. Leon thought about all kinds of things this time -- not just about her smile and looks. This time he wondered what her day-to-day life is like, what she does for a living, and how she lives by herself when she appears to be too young to be a homeowner. Usually girls Lacey's age were renting shitty apartments or living with their parents while they attend college. Leon estimated her age to be around twenty since it was nearly impossible by her looks for her to be any older. Leon still found himself wondering about the mysterious girl next door even when distracted by brake jobs, tune-ups, and annoying, pestering customers who felt the need to stand over Leon's back and watch him work on their cars as if they didn't trust him to do his job correctly. Jesse comes up to Leon on his break and sparked conversation about the hosue next door, how convenient.  He said "Did you realize someone lives in that creepy house next door now?" Leon tries to act like the girl next door hasn't been on his mind at all but he can't think of a response fast enough and just said "I know." Those words still keep him under the radar. Jesse said "I wonder who else lives there with her?" Leon said "I think she's just by herself. She's the only one I've seen." Jesse shot him a bewildered look and said "Well, I guess, but highly unlikely." Now Leon is the one puzzled and asked "How is it highly unlikely?" Jesse responded "How many high schoolers you know own their own house?" Leon was shocked and said "Woah. What do you mean high school? How do you know she's in high school?" Jesse said "Gees, dude, relax, and because she was wearing a uniform and carrying a backpack..." Leon drops the topic and is now actually pretty bummed. He knew she looked pretty young but given the circumstance, the possibility of her being in high school never crossed his mind. As Leon is drivig back home for a low-key night he notices the girl next door sitting on her porch. He tries to ignore her given the new-found information and it worked for the few split seconds he was pulling into the driveway. He was going to walk for the door without saying anything but the girl waved at him and all his compusure seemed to slip through the palm of his hands like sand. He waved back and walked over to her. As he was approaching he smelt something he was all too familiar with-- marijuana. He approached the porch and she asked "Wanna hit?" Leon just shook his head as she passes him the blunt. Lacey looked up to him and said "Well, aren't you gonna sit down? You can't just smoke my weed then leave." Leon didn't react fast so Lacey said "I'm kidding. You can leave if you want." Leon said "Nah, sorry, I was just-- never mind." Then he proceeds to sit next to her and she noticed the mechanic jumpsuit and asked one of those questions that she already knew the answer to, but asked it simply for the purpose of sparking conversation. "You work on cars too?" Leon responded with "Yup. Told you, I'm pretty handy." He looks at Lacey and notices her high school uniform: plaid skirt, white button-up shirt, a tie, and shin-high socks. He asked "So, you're in high school?" Lacey responded in a disappointed tone and said "Yeah. I failed a grade. I was supposed to graduate last year. So now I have to go to this "high-end secondary school" to catch up on credits and graduate. I should be done in one semester." Hearing this made Leon feel so much better but he had to ask for reassurance. "So how old are you?" She responds "I'm eighteen, I'll be nineteen in January." Leon just seemed to shake his head with comfort now as he slightly grins. Lacey asked "How old are you?" Leon said "I'm twenty-one. I'll be twenty-two next month in November." Just as Leon was about to get behind the mystery of the house she was living in and who she may be living with he heard Vince yell for him next door and Lacey said "I guess your crufew's up.'' Leon laughed because he could tell she was just joking but lately he hasn't seemed to take jokes very lightly. However, he said "Talk to you later." He glanced back one more time to see her smile. As he gets back to his yard him and Vince walk up to the house together all whilst Leon stares back at the girl until he couldn't see her anymore upon walking into the house. Vince sits on the couch and said "Could you be anymore fucking pathetic? Also, you need to be careful bro." Leon was confused and said "Careful with what?" Vince said "The girl next door. She's like twelve." Leon looked at him with a pissed off "mind your own business" kind of expression and said "She's eighteen." Vince asked in a smart ass tone "Oh, is that what she told you?" Leon ignored him and Vince said "All I'm saying is that she's wearing a school uniform and it just doesn't look right. Unless you want to register your name and alert the neighborhood with a red dot for the rest of your life, I suggest you fuck some chick that comes to our parties. Like I don't know, try fucking with a girl who doesn't ride the school bus and won't ask you for help on her homework." Leon said "Fuck off. She said said she was eighteen." Vince let out a huge laugh and said "Yeah, I was messing with this one girl for a couple hours once. I met her at a party in Glendale. Just as we were about to fuck she asked if I could give her a ride to school the next day.... She lied to me, but if I would've fucked her my ass would've been the one in trouble. Just be careful man. That's all I'm saying." Leon said "Look bro, it's none of your goddamn business who I talk to, who I fuck, anything. I still have a personal life, just because we're family or whatever the fuck you guys like to call it, doesn't mean every single aspect of my life is your business. I could go next door right now and fuck that girl.. If she was in to it.... Doesn't concern you at all." Vince just gave him a dirty ass look and Leon said "You know what, you probably care so much because you have a guilty conscience. You did fuck that underaged Glendale girl didn't you?" Vince started laughing and said "Absolutely not, but part of me wishes she never told me her real age. Girls like the one next door just get you in trouble bro. Of course she's going to tell you she's eighteen. All I'm saying is don't fuck her unless you know for a fact that she's eighteen." Leon said "Are you telling me to take my time and take her on a date, meet her parents." Vince chuckled and said "Shit, dude, I wasn't even thinking about her parents. You can have fun with that." Leon tried to divert the topic in hopes to get the scoop about her living situation. He asked "Does she even live with her parents? There's never anybody over there. Never a car in the driveway, like nobody." Vince said "I don't know she's the only one I've seen. She's probably got rich parents that are always on a vacation cruise or some shit." Leon said "Hmmm..." Vince said "Maybe she's a international spy, and is spying on us to bust our heists." Vince laughed to himself while walking to the fridge to grab another beer. Leon didn't seem to think it was quite funny, however.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The next night around 3AM, Vince, Leon, and Jesse are still up watching TV in the living room, and kicking back with a few beers, when all of the sudden there was obnoxious banging on the door. Vince impusively grabbed the shotgun next to him whilst Leon simultaneously gripping his .22 pistol. Jesse with his slight innocence, made the impulsive decision to rush to the door to open it, thinking it was one of the crew members who got locked out. Leon said "Are you stupid!?" Vince said "Look out the window first, but don't make it obvious." Jesse looked out the window as discreetly as he could, all whilst the door was still being pounded on. He saw a frantic girl, with torn clothing. He turned back to Vince and Leon and said "I... I think it's the girl next door." Leon losens up his tense grip to the pistol and said "What!?" He rushes to the door and Vince called out "She ain't got no business being up in here, we don't know that girl for shit." Leon ignored him and opened the door anyway as Lacey falls into his arms. She's so distraught she can hardly relieve a full sentence and can't stop shaking. Leon sat her down on the couch trying to calm her down, as he notices her clothes are torn, and have blood stains, and she has a massive cut on her lip with a matching black, partially swollen eye. Vince, attempting to be intimidating (and it worked) sat down with a heavy sigh to insinuate that he's frustrated, on to the coffee table right in front of Lacey as he holds the shotgun over his shoulder. Jesse brought her a bag of frozen vegetables for her lips and eye. Vince made a sarcastic remark and said "Great. Bring the stranger peas. That'll make her feel welcomed." Leon grabs the bag from Jesse's hands still attempting to ignore Vince and slightly put the bag up to Lacey's lips. He asked "What's wrong?" Lacey clinched her teeth and tried to force the tears back and Leon said "We want to help you." Vince interrupted him and said "He wants to help you." Leon shot him this look of impatience and looked back to Lacey and said "I can't help you, if I don't know what happened." Lacey's breathing finally calmed down enough to explain the situation through short gasps of air. She said "It all happened so fast, I don't even know where to begin." Leon said "Begin with the first thing you remember." Lacey said "I was walking home from school around seven, I stayed late to get more work done, and this guy, he jumped me. I don't know what for. He didn't rape me, he didn't take my money, but he knew my name. I've never seen this guy before in my life. I remember him walking away, and that's the last thing I remember. I woke up on the ground hours later, barely remembering anything. I didn't even remember where I was at the time." The tears came rushing back. Leon looked startled because he was unaware of how to help in this situation. However, all he could think about was finding this guy and hurting him way worse than he's hurt Lacey. Leon didn't know why he felt so deeply for this girl, but when he looked at her all beaten up he felt enraged. Vince said "You know you live next door, right? Why'd you come here?" Jesse said "That's a little rude." Leon said "Fuck off, Vince." Lacey said "Because I live alone, and I don't want to be alone." Her voice cracked and a tear streamed down her face. There was a short moment of silence and Leon asked "I hate to steer away from the subject but, how does a high school girl live alone in a house?" She said "I never met my father, my mother is a junkie prostitue-- well, was. It's my uncle's house. After my mom went to prison, I came here. I've contacted my uncle, but he hasn't responded." Jesse said "Wait. You've been living in that house alone, the entire time, not knowing where your uncle is?" Lacey shook her head, yes, and she added "I have no where else to go, and my uncle said if I ever needed a place to stay, I could go to the house whenever I wanted. It's not his main house, he owns a lot of properties, from Florida, to here, and even in Hawaii. I just don't where he is." Vince said "Not that I care too much, I'm just curious, but who the hell is your uncle? He sounds pretty important to have that much money." Lacey just responded with "He's important, but not well-known. There's a reason for that." Vince kneeled to be eye-to-eye with Lacey and said "Well princess, don't you think that just maybe, these two scenarios play hand-in-hand?" Lacey said "There's no way they'd know who I am." Leon said "I hate to agree with Vince, but I'm gonna have to agree with Vince on this one." Jesse asked "What does your uncle do, exactly? It obviously can't be legal." Vince gave Jesse a little slap against the back of his head and said "No shit, sherlock." Lacey responded very bluntly and said "He's a mafian drug lord." Leon looked surprised. Vince's expression didn't change much, but on the inside he was intrigued. Jesse was shocked, he's never been this close to a real-life drug lord mobster, even though it was just the niece of one-- a nameless one at that. Lacey said "I'm sorry for coming here. I just didn't want to be alone." Leon said "Nah, don't worry about it. Remember, I told you if you ever needed anything you can come to me? Well, this constitutes as anything, and I'm glad you came to me." Vince was signaling an innapropiate hand gesture implying that Leon is a jerk-off. Lacey notices but doesn't say anything. She said back to Leon "I just... Don't really like talking to the police." Vince said "No shit, we don't either." Lacey was a little taken back by Vince saying that, and it made her realize that she wasn't quite sure about who these people are and whether or not she could actually trust them. She feels very content with Leon, but unsure about the rest. Espeicially Vince. Words seem to roll off her tongue when talking to Leon and she's now unsure as to why she even said those things about her uncle. She's realizing now that she's probably made a huge mistake. She's hoping that they maybe won't believe her simply because of how bluntly she said it. No one just straight up discloses information like that without any hesitation. Leon gripped Lacey's shoulder in a reassuring comforting squeeze and said "You can stay here tonight if you want." Before Lacey could shake her head Vince said "Yeah, and now Leon can finally hug something in his bed besides his cock-shaped pillow." Lacey turned to Leon with bewilderment and asked "You have a--" and was cut off by Leon saying "No, I do not have a cock shaped pillow." Then he rolled his eyes and gave an aggressive look to Vince who is now hysterically laughing and Vince said "She actually believed it. This is hilarious." Lacey looked down to her feet starting to feel a little uneasy about being inside their house and she decided to go back to the original topic about possibly staying here tonight and said "You know, if I'm just going to be a burden or be in the way, I guess I can just go home. I'm sure I'll be fine." Leon said "No! I mean... You can stay, you're not a burden. Don't let Vince get to you. He's just naturally an asshole, he wasn't loved much as a child." Vince started condenscendingly laughing and said "He's right," then looked over to Leon and said "You know, you weren't either mommy issues." Leon said "If you wanna take a shower or something I can get you some clothes... And a towel and whatnot." Lacey said "Sure. Thanks." Vince said "The girl's supposed to wear your clothes after you fuck her."  Leon finally snapped and shoved Vince to the wall and tiny Jesse jumped into the middle of it as if he was actually going to keep them off of each other, but Leon backed down simply for the sake of maturity. Before Leon walked away he said "Go fuck yourself, Vince. I don't know what your deal is, but quit taking it out on me, and Lacey, and everybody else. We get it man, you have issues, so work on them, the world owes you nothing. Being a condenscending asshole isn't going to help anybody, and certainly not yourself." Vince said "I think you got it twisted. You're the one shoving me against walls because you can't take jokes simply because they're targeted at your jail bait girlfriend." Lacey pitched in and said "I'm eighteen, and he's not my boyfriend." Vince said "Whatever, princess." Vince continued to Leon and said "I just don't like outsiders." Leon said "Have you forgotten that I was an outsider once? Jesse too?" Vince didn't respond and Leon just walks away. Jesse attempting to be the peace maker walked over and sat down with Lacey and said "You know, my dad's in prison too. I know what it's like to have a parent on the inside." Lacey said "It seems like you actually liked your father though, it might be a lot harder on you than it is for me." Jesse said "Yeah, I guess." Lacey asked "What's your dad in for?" Jesse said "Assault, drugs, racing, some other shit. He's got a lot of priors so they gave him a pretty hefty sentence this time." Lacey said "I'm sorry." Jesse said "It's cool, don't worry about it." Leon comes back into the room interrupting the conversation and said "I got the shower running for you now." Lacey gets up and walks with Leon upstairs while Vince rolls his eyes at the sight. Jesse turns to Vince and said "What's your deal against her?" Vince said "I have nothing against her personally. I just don't like outsiders, and there's something shady about her." Jesse said "You think there's something shady about everyone. You thought that about me too when I came along. Why don't you give her a chance? Besides, it's not like she knows anything about us. She's already told us more about her than she knows about us." Vince said "Yeah, and that makes her dumb. That means she has a big mouth, and clearly can't keep a secret. Meaning we can't trust her." Jesse said "No, it just makes her young, I made dumb mistakes like that too when I came around, remember?" Vince said "Yeah, whatever, I guess." Meanwhile, upstairs Leon is in the bathroom with Lacey and handing her clothes to put on. He handed her a plain t-shirt and some boxers, and as he was handing them to her he said "I promise, they're clean." Lacey chuckled a little bit and said "Thank you." Leon then grabbed a clean towel out of the cabinet in the bathroom and said "I'll be waiting in the kitchen for when you're done. Um, you can sleep on the couch up in my room if you'd like." Lacey just shook her head and Leon said "Alright... Well, I'll let you get to it." As Leon walks back downstiars he sees Mia, Letty, and Dom talking to Jesse and Vince, and he's assuming by the way they all looked at him as he entered the room, that they were already aware that Lacey was here. Dom said "Do you trust this girl?" Leon said "I mean.." Dom said "I'll take that as a no." Leon said "Relax, I haven't told her anything. She came to us because she was in trouble. She trusts us." Jesse said "I think she just trusts you." Vince said "Yeah, she hates me." Leon said "Gee Vince, I wonder why. You weren't exactly approachable." Vince looked over at Dom and said "Tell him she's got no business being up in here. We don't know her." Dom jokingly said "There was a time where I didn't know you." Vince said "That was in the third grade!" Dom chuckled and said "Well, Leon it's your call." Leon asked "Why does it have to be my call? And my call for what?" Dom said "Because you seem to be the only one in the house who really knows her, at least better than the rest of us, and it's your call if you think she can spend the night." Leon said "I trust her enough to sleep on my couch, yeah." Dom looked back over at Vince and said "It's settled. Why are you worried about a little girl anyway?" Jesse said "Hold up, she's eighteen, she's two years younger than me. Does that make me a little boy?" Dom said "Now, Jesse, we actually like you. But yeah." Dom and Vince started chuckling while Jesse flicks them off. A few moments later Lacey comes back downstairs, expecting to go straight to the kitchen and avoiding Jesse and Vince and is surprised to find the whole crew downstairs now awkwardly staring at her. Lacey doesn't say a word and looks very anxious. Dom said "Welcome. Make yourself at home." Leon walked up the steps and met her and lead her to the attic. Lacey looked around Leon's attic bedroom and asked "Why are you all the way up here?" Leon said "There's no rats, I promise. The room's been renovated." Lacey said "That wasn't my question." Leon just sighs and looks at her and said "I know. I just like... The privacy I guess." Lacey says "I don't blame you. Do you all live here?" Leon said "Yup. All six of us." Lacey asked "How?" Leon said "Well the house was a three bedroom, and Letty and Dom share a room, so that eliminates one person who needs a room. Mia has her own room. Vince has his, and mine and Jesse's rooms were add-ons. They turned an office room downstairs into Jesse's room." Lacey said "That's pretty cool. You're all like one big family." Leon kind of smirked and said "Yeah, I guess so." He handed her a pillow and blanket then grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around the couch and said "Well, here you go." Lacey just smiles at him and said "Goodnight." Leon smiles back and goes into his bathroom to change, came back out and laid down. As he laid down he thought a lot about Lacey. About how the girl next door is now only a few feet away. He can't seem to fall asleep so easily tonight. All he wants to do is hold her, but he knows that if he ever wants something like that from her, he's going to have to work his way very slowly. He really likes this girl, there was just something about her that made him look at her differently than all the other girls he's ever seen. Now knowing a little about her past he seems to find her even more intriguing. What she has revealed is enough to scare any normal person away, but Leon isn't normal, and he doesn't like rudimentary things or people. He has to gain trust in her though, that seems to be the only problem at the moment. Leon just hopes that when and if he begins to trust Lacey, his crew does too. Maybe she can even join the crew.

CHAPTER FIVE:

Leon finally wakes up, and looks over to the couch to find Lacey already sitting up staring out the window towards the street. Leon said in a graspy early morning voice "How long have you been up?" Lacey said "Since 6AM. I could barely sleep." Leon said "I'm sorry. It wasn't the couch, was it?" Lacey smrked and said "No, your couch is very comfy." Leon said in a questioning tone "Then it must be because you were scared?" Lacey just shook her head 'yes.' Leon said "Listen, I know Vince pretty much gave you a hard time, but if it ever came down to it, even he would protect you. In this house, you're safe." Something about that made Lacey feel uneasy and overwhelmed. Her own family hardly cares about her, so having a group of strangers care this much, is certainly immense and she didn't want to be subjected into a situation where she's in debt to them, and owes them one back. She liked Leon, but the harder she thought, she realized, she doesn't really know anything about him at all, and he can't be trusted to deeply. However, something about him was compelling. She had this vibe from him. A protecting kind of vibe. She truly did feel safe with him, and she didn't understand why that came so easily. It usually takes Lacey months, sometimes even years to trust someone. She can talk to someone for years, hang out with them, and still not fully trust them, so that was also overwhelming her.

[makadelikz]

the girl next door updated 1/6/2017

The Girl Next Door ♥ CHAPTER ONE:

The sound of moving trucks awoke Leon from his sleep. He gazes out the window with a frowned and restless face, and sees two big Uhaul trucks next door at the house that's been abandoned for six months. The last people who lived there just seemingly disappeared and Leon's curiousity grew because he never recalled seeing 'for sale' signs putting the house on the market for any new owners, and why would the previous owners who just up and vanished be moving stuff back into their house when they never took anything with them in the first place? However, his greatest concern at the moment was the loud Uhaul truckers waking him up so early, but he shortly realized he can't exactly be angry when he looked at the time -- 2:30 PM. Leon walks away from the window and hops in the shower, and afterwards sits on his bed, pulls out a black tray and begins to break a nug to roll a blunt. His roommate, and friend, Vince knocked on the door, but barged in anyway, realized he was about to smoke a blunt and joined him. Vince said "Did you see that someone is moving into the mysterious house next door?" Leon responds "Yeah, woke my ass up." Vince condenscendingly, but in a jokingly manner said "That's what you get for living in the attic. You can hear everything outside through these windows. I sleep like a baby in my room." Leon jabs back and said "No, you sleep like a baby after your daily six pack." Leon knew Vince was just being his usual self, with the disdainful remarks, but he ultimately knew that Vince means no harm. Vince is a straight-up guy. If he didn't like you he would tell you, and tell you exactly why he doesn't like you. He's not a fake chit-chat kind of guy. Vince sometimes doens't take the jabs as well as he throws them out though and responded with "Fuck you, I don't get drunk everyday and you know I'm fucking right." Leon responds in a tone as if he's sarcastically agreeing with him just to get him to be quiet about the topic, but Leon did know that he was right about the windows. He then added "But I was the last pick of the batch, it's not like I had much of a choice. It was the attic or the streets." Vince lowers his head and realized that he may've hit a soft spot for Leon, but then proceeds to walk out the room anyway shouting "See you tonight for the race," while running down the attic stairs. The attic was renovated and turned into a bedroom specifically for Leon. So the windows aren't meant to dillute as much sound as one of the bedroom windows considering the attic, like any ordinary attic, is generally used for storage, or not used at all.  Leon was happy to have a place to call home, whether he slept in the attic or in the shed out back. A home isn't really something he's used to having up until now. Now all Leon needs is to get used to opening up to people more. As 5:00 rolls around the other housemates get home from their daily lives of blending into the societal norm only to prep for a night filled with illicit activites. It's mostly their participation in the underground street racing world, that the leader of this house and crew practically invented in this area. His name is Dominic Toretto and he refers to his crew as family. He's very selective about who he trusts and even more so about who he lets in his direct crew. Dominic's right hand man is Vince Scaletta who is the hard-headed, quick-tempered one of the batch. Complete opposite of Dom's calm, level-headed way of thinking, and wise decision making. However, Vince is extremely loyal and trustworthy. He doesn't give much of a damn about anyone or anything at all, but if he does care about you, then you mean the world to him. Vince and Dom have been lifelong friends since the third grade. Way before the corrupt street life played a hand in anything. The most 'innocent' one of the crew is Mia, Dom's sister. She keeps the crew in check. She doesn't exactly participate in the charlatan activites of the crew because she doesn't agree with much of it. However, she is very aware of it all and just turns the other cheek. Her major role of the crew is the front of running the Toretto Cafe. It makes it appear as if all the family income comes fromt the family owned businesses rather than the illegal heists and street races. Then there's Letty Ortiz. She's Dom's girlfriend and they've known each other since junior high. They grew up together, always sneaking out and going to their own little drag races. That was back when they raced just for the fun of it rather than street cred. However, that's where this whole gig began. That just leaves Jesse Green and Leon Morgan, who unlike the rest of the crew, do not have significant amount of history with Dom. They come from different parts of the world and have their own histories. However, Dom saw something in them to give them a chance and he clearly trusts them with his life otherwise they wouldn't be apart of the crew and would've never moved in. Jesse is the smart techie of the crew. He has a history of hacking computers and high-tech security systems, among other things. He turned his hobby into designing mods for street racing cars and he knows his way around an engiene like the back of his hand and that was obviously his guaranteed initiation. However, he has the sweetest personality and honestly wouldn't hurt a fly, which makes him different from the rest of the crew by far. He isn't a very physical person and generally avoids confrontation. Jesse's first run-in with the crew was by accident when he was running into the garage, pleading for help, running from a group of people who basically wanted him dead. Still nobody knows exactly why they were after him. To Jesse's luck, Dom is highly respected in the streets, especially on his turf and they backed down with their tails between their legs. Jesse doesn't appear to be anyone who would be apart of this life, his appearance says cliche stoner kid who plays too much video games but he wasn't running from a group of people who wanted him dead for no reason. Finally that just leaves Leon who just happened to cross paths with Toretto unintentionally. He was making bets on drag races at Race Wars, which is the legal monthly event founded by Toretto. Leon was making bets without knowing that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd and the racers, but the thing that makes this event legal is that it bans gambling. So as a result, Leon assumed he was the only one amongst the crowd making bets, but illegal activity is not out of his norm. Dom found out he made a pretty huge bet on him to win so he confronted Leon and asked "Why'd you place so much money down? What made you $800 dollars sure that I was going to win? That's a lot of money to throw down on a ten second race." Leon bluntly responded "Because muscle always beats import." Just that response alone and Dom was interested in getting to know Leon. He found out Leon was homeless and made an income off selling drugs and making bets. Dom took him in immediately but Leon having this enigma and not very open with talking about his past or himself in general he really had to work for Toretto's trust, which he ineviatebly got.

CHAPTER TWO:

After the race, which of course Dom won, the crew heads home to celebrate like they normally do. Leon stayed outside to smoke a blunt by himself. But just as he was about to spark it he noticed a very young and beautiful girl at the mysterious, Uhaul truck, house next door. Leon stares in awe at her beauty and with curiousity as she seems to be alone. Instead of sparking the blunt he sparks up the courage to go talk to her and introduces himself and says "Hey. I'm Leon. I live next door." The girl is a bit startled and hesitates to respond. Perhaps it was because she wasn't expecting to be approached in a new neighborhood, especially at eleven o'clock at night. Leon notices that she was a bit startled and said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just saw you were moving boxes all by yourself and figured I could lend a hand." The girl said "It's okay I'm not frightened. Just wasn't expecting to be spoken too since I don't know anyone here." Then she let out an innocent laugh. She continued and said "My name is Lacey, by the way, and I appreaciate the offer, but I only have a few boxes left and they're quite small and I wouldn't want to waste your time." She pointed to Leon's house with cars piling up outside and said "Besides, they might be looking for you." Leon said "They're not worried about me, and it's no problem. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask; and I literally mean anything... I work on cars, electrical stuff, plumbing stuff. I'm very handy." Lacey says "That's actually really good to know, thank you." She smiles so brightly even in the dark of night.  Leon almost doesn't want to walk away, he wants to continue talking to her, but he knows he has to go home now. He knows that if he tries to overstay his welcome Lacey might feel off about him. He said "Well, goodnight and welcome to the neighborhood." She said in a soft and gentle voice "Goodnight." When Leon gets back to his house he heads for his room, ignoring the crowd which is not unusual for him to do, but before he could make it to his room Vince stopped him and asked "Where you going twinkle toes?" It was a gay joke implying that's what Leon is for not wanting to party. Leon responds short and blunt and said "To my room."Come on, have one beer. There's all kinds of hot chicks here too. Maybe you'll walk up to your attic with a girl in your arm for once." Leon said "Nah, I'm good. I'm tired." Vince shouts "Come on dude, when's the last time you even got laid?" As Leon continues to walk away he shouts "None of your business, Vince." With Vince knowing he wasn't going to break through Leon tonight he casually retreats back to the party. Leon lays in bed as the faint party sounds surround him. It's not that he's anti-social it's just that the party scenes aren't necessarily his thing. As he tries to ignore the sounds of a large crowd his mind drifts off to Lacey, next door. He doesn't seem to understand why he can't get her off his mind. He's been with tons of girls socially and sexually before, but not one has every stayed on his mind for too long after the encounter. But this girl, he actually had to muster up the courage to just introduce himself. At this point he assumed that it must be the blunt he eventually got to smoking that's affecting his thought process and he decides that he will sleep it off and the thoughts will go away.

CHAPTER THREE:

The next afternoon Leon wakes up peacefully. This time there were no loud Uhaul truckers yelling and making a ton of noise. This time there was no Vince barging in and making himself comfortable. He rolls out of bed and continues to go about his daily routine. As he's driving to clock in at his normal job at Torretto's Garage as a mechanic he involuntarily glances at the house next door as it's nearly impossible to overlook. Every thought about the girl next door had almost slipped his mind until now. Leon found himself thinking about her the whole drive to work. Leon thought about all kinds of things this time -- not just about her smile and looks. This time he wondered what her day-to-day life is like, what she does for a living, and how she lives by herself when she appears to be too young to be a homeowner. Usually girls Lacey's age were renting shitty apartments or living with their parents while they attend college. Leon estimated her age to be around twenty since it was nearly impossible by her looks for her to be any older. Leon still found himself wondering about the mysterious girl next door even when distracted by brake jobs, tune-ups, and annoying, pestering customers who felt the need to stand over Leon's back and watch him work on their cars as if they didn't trust him to do his job correctly. Jesse comes up to Leon on his break and sparked conversation about the hosue next door, how convenient.  He said "Did you realize someone lives in that creepy house next door now?" Leon tries to act like the girl next door hasn't been on his mind at all but he can't think of a response fast enough and just said "I know." Those words still keep him under the radar. Jesse said "I wonder who else lives there with her?" Leon said "I think she's just by herself. She's the only one I've seen." Jesse shot him a bewildered look and said "Well, I guess, but highly unlikely." Now Leon is the one puzzled and asked "How is it highly unlikely?" Jesse responded "How many high schoolers you know own their own house?" Leon was shocked and said "Woah. What do you mean high school? How do you know she's in high school?" Jesse said "Gees, dude, relax, and because she was wearing a uniform and carrying a backpack..." Leon drops the topic and is now actually pretty bummed. He knew she looked pretty young but given the circumstance, the possibility of her being in high school never crossed his mind. As Leon is drivig back home for a low-key night he notices the girl next door sitting on her porch. He tries to ignore her given the new-found information and it worked for the few split seconds he was pulling into the driveway. He was going to walk for the door without saying anything but the girl waved at him and all his compusure seemed to slip through the palm of his hands like sand. He waved back and walked over to her. As he was approaching he smelt something he was all too familiar with-- marijuana. He approached the porch and she asked "Wanna hit?" Leon just shook his head as she passes him the blunt. Lacey looked up to him and said "Well, aren't you gonna sit down? You can't just smoke my weed then leave." Leon didn't react fast so Lacey said "I'm kidding. You can leave if you want." Leon said "Nah, sorry, I was just-- never mind." Then he proceeds to sit next to her and she noticed the mechanic jumpsuit and asked one of those questions that she already knew the answer too, but asked it simply for the purpose of sparking conversation. "You work on cars too?" Leon responded with "Yup. Told you, I'm pretty handy." He looks at Lacey and notices her high school uniform: plaid skirt, white button-up shirt, and a tie. He asked "So, you're in high school?" Lacey responded in a disappointed tone and said "Yeah. I failed a grade. I was supposed to graduate last year. So now I have to go to this "high-end secondary school" to catch up on credits and graduate. I should be done in one semester." Hearing this made Leon feel so much better but he had to ask for reassurance. "So how old are you?" She responds "I'm eighteen, I'll be nineteen in January." Leon just seemed to shake his head with comfort now as he slightly grins. Lacey asked "How old are you?" Leon said "I'm twenty-one. I'll be twenty-two next month in November." Just as Leon was about to get behind the mystery of the house she was living in and who she may be living with he heard Vince yell for him next door and Lacey said "I guess your crufew's up.'' Leon laughed because he could tell she was just joking but lately he hasn't seemed to take jokes very lightly. However, he said "Talk to you later." He glanced back one more time to see her smile. As he gets back to his yard him and Vince walk up to the house together all whilst Leon stares back at the girl until he couldn't see her anymore upon walking into the house. Vince sits on the couch and said "Could you be anymore fucking pathetic? Also, you need to be careful bro." Leon was confused and said "Careful with what?" Vince said "The girl next door. She's like twelve." Leon looked at him with a pissed off "mind your own business" kind of expression and said "She's eighteen." Vince asked in a smart ass tone "Oh, is that what she told you?" Leon ignored him and Vince said "All I'm saying is that she's wearing a school uniform and it just doesn't look right. Unless you want to register your name and alert the neighborhood with a red dot for the rest of your life, I suggest you fuck some chick that comes to our parties. Like I don't know, try fucking with a girl you doesn't ride the school bus and won't ask you for help on her homework." Leon said "Fuck off. She said said she was eighteen." Vince let out a huge laugh and said "Yeah, I was messing with this one girl for a couple hours once. I met her at a party in Glendale. Just as we were about to fuck she asked if I could give her a ride to school the next day.... She lied to me, but if I would've fucked her my ass would've been the one in trouble. Just be careful man. That's all I'm saying." Leon said "Look bro, it's none of your goddamn business who I talk to, who I fuck, anything. I still have a personal life, just because we're family or whatever the fuck you guys like to call it, doesn't mean every single aspect of my life is your business. I could next door right now and fuck that girl.. If she was in to it.... Doesn't concern you at all." Vince just gave him a dirty ass look and Leon said "You know what, you probably care so much because you have a guilty conscience. You did fuck that underaged Glendale girl didn't you." Vince started laughing and said "Absolutely not, but part of me wishes she never told me her real age. Girls like the one next door just get you in trouble bro. Of course she's going to tell you she's eighteen. All I'm saying is don't fuck her unless you know for a fact that she's eighteen." Leon said "Are you telling me to take my time and take her on a date, meet her parents." Vince chuckled and said "Shit, dude, I wasn't even thinking about her parents. You can have fun with that." Leon tried to divert the topic in hopes to get the scoop about her living situation. He asked "Does she even live with her parents? There's never anybody over there. Never a car in the driveway, like nobody." Vince said "I don't know she's the only one I've seen." Leon said "Hmmm..." Vince said "Maybe she's a international spy, and is spying on us to bust our heists." Vine laughed to himself while walking to the fridge to grab another beer. Leon didn't seem to think it was quite funny, however.

CHAPTER FOUR:

[makadelikz]

the secrets we keep 1/2/2017

The Secrets We Keep

Welcome to Clear Creek University. It is not the average university you think of when you hear that word—with collegiate football teams, and high end advanced classes. Clear Creek isn't just a boarding school where wealthy parents send their children to, it's open to families of all finanical backgrounds if they are eligible for something the school likes to call "standard privilage." The school was originally opened in 1842 as a hospital, it became a hospital for the mentally impaired in 1920, and the hospital was shut down between the years of 1933-1935 due to patient abuse, that and the Great Depression made it extremely hard to operate a hospital, especially for the mentally impaired. Society didn't quite deem the mentally impaired as 'people.' Some patients went missing and were never found and any record of having that patient seemed to have mysterously disappeared as well, the ones who were found didn’t live long to tell what happened, or returned much more impaired than in which they had left. All doctors and nurses had went to trial—the trial is infamously known as “The Shirestown Trial of 1936” none of them were charged with anything due to the lack of evidence, what really happened at the hospital remains a mystery to this very day. After the hospital was shut down, the empty soul lurking buildings remained standing and abandoned until it opened as a high school in 1956. However, the school was not open for very long before missing teenage faces were on milk cartons and newspapers. Just before investigation of the school could begin a fire broke out demolishing half of the school. The remains were left untouched for several years. The people of Shirestown considered the land to be possessed, and unwelcoming of all kinds. Witchcraft was what they blamed it on, although no physical evidence was ever recovered as to what exactly happened all those years of unsolved mysteries. Today is August 4th, 2012 and the school was rebuilt, they recovered the demolished buildings and modernized the other buildings that were unharmed in the fire. It has been many years since the last incident, although the infamous happenings remain a big deal to Shirestown, the new generation of people don’t seem to care much, the people who didn’t live in Shirestown either completely forgotten, or never even knew. The first official day back to school is August 20th and I and many other people I know will be attending Clear Creek this year. I seem to be the only one who knows about the school’s brutal history so I tried not to think about it.

CHAPTER ONE:

My name is Lacey Maree Strong. I was born here in West Chester, Pennsylvania. It’s a small town where everyone knows everyone; however it isn’t as small as people think considering we are only an hour, or one train ride, outside the huge city of Philadelphia. Usually when people ask me where I am from I just say ‘Philly’ because a lot of people have never heard of West Chester. I am currently sixteen years old, my birthdate is the eighth of January and my former school East High is being shut down, it was the only high school in my town, the closest high school in range available to the town of West Chester is six miles away in a very small town called Shirestown. The town is much smaller than West Chester; in fact it is so small if you are driving through and blink once, you will miss the whole town. Ever since I was little I was used to being the center of attention, because I was my father’s only child and none of his friends have any children, so I was practically everyone’s child. In school I am considered ‘popular’ because I have an enormous amount of friends and it has been that way since the beginning of Junior High. I guess I have a lot of people who don’t necessarily like me, because I know I come off as intimidating to most, and a bitch, but I love meeting new people, and I usually accept everyone. I don’t label myself as anything, and I don’t like others who do, I hate cliques, and everyone who generally abides by them. My boyfriend Lazaro and I have been dating for almost two years, but we have known each other ever since we were practically in diapers; Lazaro is the same age as me. He says we met by fate. I don’t believe too much in that sort of stuff, but for his sake I always nod, smile, and agree with him. I guess you can say he is my high-school sweetheart, however older folk of the town talk about us, and not in a pleasant way. West Chester is a modern town, however people here seem to have a problem with the fact that Lazaro and I are an interracial couple. He isn’t even African American though, but the people in this town are so prejudice and ignorant. However, their rude remarks seem to bother me more than Him. Some of the townspeople have even talked down about my father, saying things along the lines of “what father would be okay with his daughter dating a boy like that?”. Although my dad has never seemed to care about what they had to say I knew deep down it bothered him. He hated whenever people tried to tell him what to do especially when it came to me. My mother was never around when I was growing up, and that hasn’t changed to this day, so I guess you can say my father got a lot of shit from the unpleasent people of the town, but oh he loved to rub it in their faces that he was one of the wealthier people in the town. My dad said he isn’t intentionally “showing off” he was just giving them a reason to keep him relevant. He always told me that I couldn’t stop people from talking, so you might as well give them something good to talk about.

CHAPTER TWO:

I wake up to the smell of freshly made coffee, and breakfast. I didn’t want to leave my bed because I knew today was the day; the day I had to leave my father and go to a school I was not really looking forward to going to at all. My father and I are extremely close, he literally is my best friend there wasn’t a thing I kept from him and to have to go to some boarding school in a town possibly inhabited by a bunch of inbred, country-bumpkins was devasting. My father knocks and comes into my room surprised to see me already awake this early in the morning and tells me that breakfast is ready, before he could leave my room, I stopped him and said “Daddy, I don’t want to leave you” this caused him to freeze in his tracks, and I swear I could see his eyes start to get glossy from the puddles of tears forming, but he got himself together before he let a single one fall down his cheek. He always did that. He would never let me see him cry, but just this once I wish I could, simply because it would show how much he would miss me, and validate the fact that he’s actually human. I know this probably sounds really weird and possibly a bit morbid but like I said, my father and I are really close and there isn’t a thing he doesn’t know aboout me and there isn’t a thing I don’t know about him– except what his eyes look like when he cries. Does he cry? Does he cry himself to sleep so I don’t have to see or hear? The thought of my dad not showing any emotion was actually more devasting to me than if I had actually seen him cry. It made me think he lost contact to any sort of feelings he once had and now his only child was going to some boarding school that he won’t see again until Thanksgiving. I was probably much more concerned about leaving him behind more than he was about me leaving. My father sat down at the end of the bed and looked up at me and said “Lacey, I know this is hard for you but you know you can always call me no matter what, and six miles really isn’t that far. You’ve been attached to my hip since the day you were born, this experience could be good for you.” I know he was only saying this because as a father he has to encourage his child to go to school and prepare for the real world, but I know deep down inside he didn’t want me to leave either. Sixteen years raising a child all by yourself is a long time, and to just give your child away for a few months is hard. I asked him “But is this hard for you?”. He hesitated to answer and said “Of course it is, you’re my only child, but like I said this experience will be good for you." I just gave him this look, the look I always give him when I wasn't pleased about something, but it was never in a bratty sort of way, he just knew me all too well. He added "I'll tell you what... If you can manage to go to Clear Creek up until Thanksgiving and you still aren't pleased, I will homeschool you, okay?" I said "Okay" even though home school wasn't exactly my cup of tea either, I wanted the cake and eat it too. I wanted my friends, and I wanted my home. To me his response wasn’t good enough though. I wanted him to cry and tell me that he would miss me, but of course he had to be the ‘tough guy’ that he is and not even show the slightest bit of emotion. My father is not an ordinary father, he is a martial artist and has studied the arts of many MMA styles such as Karate, and Brazillian Jiu Jitsu. He now teaches classes from time to time sharing the art of BJJ with others. He also is a knife craftsmen, he designs his own hunting knives and even has his own logo. Among his many talents, one that he rarely talks to me about is when he toured with bands back in the day as their “fill-in” guitarist and back-up singer. I went on tour with him, but he never tells me much of any of the stories when I would ask since I was too young to remember any of it. I honestly don’t know why he doesn’t talk about those days, but seeing how I can’t get him to even tell me a simple story asking him “why not” would be stupid. However, from time to time I see him pick up and dust off his guitar and play it- He would even often play the piano. I was going to miss my father and his randomness, and odd career choices.

CHAPTER THREE:

HONK!! HONK!! Was the sound of Lazaro’s car horn that was alerting me that he was here to pick me up. I was still inside packing a few more things, and then Lazaro runs up the stairs to help me carry stuff to the car. He picks me up and twirls me around and then kisses my forehead and asked if I was ready. I said  “Well, kind of, you know we aren’t supposed to leave for another hour or so.” He said “Well, we can get there early, get checked in early, have sex in my dorm room, and get there before our other roommates do so we can get the better beds.” I smiled and giggled at the same time and then kissed him and said “I think I like the sex part the best” And he smiled and said “I think I do too” and then winked at me. I made my way down to the kitchen while Lazaro carried my stuff (he offered) because of course I had to say one last goodbye to my father, and I hugged him so tightly I didn’t want to let him go. I was hoping this could make him cry, but I’m the one who ended up crying instead. He grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes and said “Cheer up Pumpkin. It’s all going to be okay.” I heard his voice crack, and that was good enough for me. That was the closest moment I had ever gotten to seeing my dad show even the slightest bit of a sad emotion. It actually made my heart sink. Maybe seeing my dad cry isn’t something I want or even need to see at all. He’s the strong one, and carries both of our burdens. For him to break down will be a whirlwind of complexity and depression, probably on both our ends. He walked me to the car and kissed me on the top of the head, he looked over to Lazaro and said “Take care of my daughter”. Lazaro replied with “Of course, Johnny” and my dad gave him this look, maybe he was confused as to why Lazaro called him by his first name for once. As we drove off I looked at Lazaro and said “Johnny? Since when do you call him by his first name?” Lazaro said “I don’t know it just rolled off my tongue I wasn’t even thinking about it. Why does he not like to be called by his first name?” I said “No, it’s just weird because you never say his name. It’s like you always try to avoid calling him anything, you just get his attention and talk." He said “Whatever, your dad is an intimidating man, so I tend to get my social skills all fucked up sometimes around him.” I said "Well, relax, my dad likes you." Lazaro just looks at me with this brag-like sort of smile as if he was thinking "How could he not like me?" A mile or so into the drive it gets quiet between me and Lazaro so I start thinking. I think about a number of things; for instance, the haunted school we're about to be spending the next year of our lives at, the boring drive, missing my dad, and the fact that the car was so packed we barely had room to even sit. I have a lot of clothes, accessories, and items that I wanted to take with me, it’s not a camping trip, I am practically moving, and so is Lazaro so he brought a lot of shit too. The drive progressively grew boring, but I guess that’s because after thinking so much I drifted into a heavy sleep most of the way. We stopped at a gas station five and a half miles in.  We were almost there, but Lazaro felt it was necessary to stop and pee, and fill up his tank for whatever reason. It wasn’t even half empty. The town this gas station was in could hardly even be considered a town, it was just another really small town that probably wasn’t even on a map of this area. Of course the gas station was ran by some busted looking hick, who had a mouthfull of chewing tobacco and a toothpick, and of course spit regularly into a water bottle, which to me is even more gross. I rather see you spit on the ground than collect it all into a bottle. I didn’t like the way he stared at me. I was used to men staring at me, but they never stared this long and hard, because I was always with my father. I wasn’t doubting Lazaro’s ability to protect me, but I was really missing my father, especially right now. The gas station clerk asked us where we were headed. I refused to talk to this man so I didn’t answer inevitably causing Lazaro to answer for us. Once we had told him where we were going he looked shocked, and said “Them people is ghosts up der. Ain’t nuttin but a town filt with devil worshipen crackas. Me and my kin stay 'way from dat place and anybody who commute to there.” His illiterate grammar gave me a headache, but I think it was all an act. I’m good at picking up on suspicious things. I can usually read anybody like a book. Nobody who talks like that says the word 'commute’. So, of course, me and my mouth just had to make a smart ass comment; “Commute? That’s a big word "ain’t” it?.“ and I sort of chuckled to myself, but then I look up to realize that again he was staring at me, but this time as if he wanted to hurt me as if I blew his cover on some top secret operation. I looked at Lazaro and said "Can we fucking leave now…?”

When we arrived we were some of the very few who showed up early. We checked in, verified that we were in the school’s system, and got our room numbers and keys. Obviously the boy dorms and the girl dorms were separated which sucked because Lazaro had to walk across campus for late night booty calls. After getting our room numbers and keys me and Lazaro parted ways, and I noticed that for whatever reason this school kept Upperclassmen, and Underclassmen apart as much as possible. Which I mean, I guess I could understand why but the school seemed a bit too segregated in that manner in my opinion. As I got to my room on the third floor, in room 326, I was the first to arrive. There were three beds; two were combined as a bunk bed. And the other was a single double sized mattress, and that is obviously the one I chose. The beauty of being first is amazing. I unpacked a lot of things. I unpacked clothes first, there were two closets to choose from, one was really big, and the other one was average. I obviously chose the really big one, because with the amount of clothes I owned I needed a lot of space, but then I realized that I should probably switch to the small one and condense because the big one was obviously meant for the two who basically had to share a bed. I have a heart sometimes. I felt bad for them, not only does one have to sleep above the other, but now they had to share a closet too. As soon as I was done unpacking my closet clothes I put some clothes such as pants, shorts, t-shirts, bra and underwear in the dresser that was already provided. I unpacked some posters, and some pictures. On the desk looking out the window on my side of the room was a picture frame that held four pictures, and they were all of the people I cared about most. Picture number one was me and my daddy, picture two was me and Lazaro, picture three was my pets. Three dogs and one cat named Batou, and picture four was me and some of my closest friends: Lazaro, Quinn, Aidon, Joe, Keith, Megan, Niki, Donna, Chandler, Taylor and Hannah. It took me about an hour to unpack, and I sat there for about twenty minutes before I called Lazaro because nobody had showed up to my room yet. “Hey babe, I am thinking about your sex request now, I unpacked every-thing.” Lazaro said “Well damn I was just about to call you and say pretty much the same thing.” I said “Do you wanna fuck in your room or my room?" He said “My room, so I don’t have to walk.” And I said “You son of a bitch.” And then giggled. I hung up the phone went to the other side of campus and went to the upperclassmen building for boys. Went all the way up to room 613, all the buildings were basically laid out like hotels. I found Lazaro alone naked in his bed waiting for me. He was so damn goofy he always had to make things really awkward. I said "What if one of your roommates walked in before me?" He said "That would've been very awkward, I didn't think that far ahead, but you can't blame me becuase I was just thinking about you."

CHAPTER FOUR:

After we finished Lazaro walked me down to the center of campus where the cafeteria is and where they have concession stands up for everyone’s first unofficial day. They had snow cones, popcorn, and cotton candy. Lazaro bought us snow cones and while we walked and ate our delicious frozen treats, Lazaro came up with the suggestion to go up to my room to see if anyone arrived yet. I thought it was a good idea, even though I was extremely nervous. I am not a shy person, I am just a bitch to some people that I first meet only because I don’t want them to mistake the kindness the real me somewhat possesses as a weakness. I'm also very cautious and anxious when it comes to change, and meeting new people is hard for me to do. I just don't like opening up so it's easier to surround myself with people I'm already comfortable with and who already know the real me. As we walk into my room, my heart drops, of course I had to be expecting the worst circumstances, and I got the worst roommate ever. I see a tall, very thin, but very fit with big, juicy boobs, and a nice ass obviously from squatting religiously, Caucasian girl with long bleached blonde hair that had a pink bow in it, with blue eyes, and brown eyebrows indicating her hair color was as fake as her boobs. The jacket she was wearing said ‘CHEER’ in bold pink bubble letters on the back of it. I can already tell from just her appearance that I don’t like this girl. I look at some of her possessions; and all I see so far is everything pink, expensive, and cheerleader related. She is a preppy cheerleader who fits her stereotype extremely well. Since I didn’t say anything at all, and I kind of stood there staring at her with this expression of disgust on my face, I think this girl already knows I don’t like her, so Lazaro did the honors of talking to her first. “Uhmm, hi… I’m Lazaro, and this is my girlfriend Lacey who is your roommate.” She said “Nah, I thought YOU were my roommate, anyways, I’m Elena.” I still stand in silence. She says in a very condenscending tone “Is your girlfriend a mute?” I said “Listen here bitch, don’t you even fucking try me or I will make your life here a living hell.” She stands there except only she’s the one in silence now with a shocked facial expression to the fact that she didn’t think I would stand up to her. Lazaro walks me out of the room trying to brush the situation off and talks to me in the hallway after closing the door behind him. "Lacey, you need to chill and calm down, after all she is your roommate, and you kind of have to deal with her.” I said “Lazaro are you fucking kidding me, I hate her already, did you not see her, she’s a daddy credit card spending, cheerleading, bitch.” Lazaro implies“Maybe she isn’t as bad as she seems at first, maybe you have to get to know her.” I responded “Babe, you know me, and you know damn well that I am probably, most likely, not going to get along with that girl at all.” Lazaro said “Well babe, maybe she is putting on a front, maybe you intimidated her like everyone else is with you at first, think about it, you’re extremely gorgeous, and she isn’t ugly, but compared to you she’s a solid 5.5. After all you like to put on the bad bitch front with new people too, just to show them you don’t play around, which is true, but it is also a front.” I thought about what Lazaro said and he is kind of right. After standing in the hall way we walk back to the courtyard where they were serving all the first unofficial day junk food, and where people were mingling and making new friends, the other people who were less social were sitting alone or walking around campus getting a good recap of the layout. An announcement came on and it repeated three times. It stated “Everyone report to their assigned dining hall for dinner. Underclassmen are Dining Hall B, and Upperclassmen is Dining Hall A”. As Lazaro and I walk into Dining Hall A, we meet up with all of our friends in excitement that we are all together. I look around and I see gigantic windows that take up most of the wall space that surround 2/4 of the dining hall. Outside the windows I see a bunch of trees in the distance, it’s like a forest, inside the dining hall there are round tables that hold seven chairs each, but as people got together with their friends they were pulling the tables together making them larger to fit more people. Of course we did the same with our friends the “Party Crew” was a huge group, we even had underclassmen in our crew, but they were obviously in the other dining hall which was really on the other side, the only thing separating the two dining halls were two double-sided doors. As I was looking around and observing, something didn’t feel right, and the administrators and teachers who sat in an isolated room didn’t seem right either, I never liked teachers, so the negative vibe I am getting is probably normal, and other than the creepy teachers, and the not so enchanted forest outside the windows it feels like a normal high school, with your average cliques, and annoying people. Some of our friends weren’t eating because they had already eaten before they got here. So our tables were reserved. We talked as a group and we all made the deal to start yelling party crew to let the other people in this school know we run this place now, that is usually how it works with party crew. I thought the idea was rather stupid, but whatever, what will it hurt? We got in line and we were obviously expecting the average shitty school food, because after all this was a school, but instead we got real meals, and it was fantastic, it wasn’t school food pizza, it was like hot fresh pizza, there were cheeseburgers that were obviously grilled, and teriyaki chicken. Of course there were like a million sides, and the line was set up like a buffet it even had a dessert line at the end. The soft drinks and waters were always free and the meals were only free during the times they were being served. So, basically if you were hungry throughout the day then you had to buy a meal. after all the cafeteria people need money too. I had completely forgotten about the creepy teachers, until I noticed them again as I was walking back to my table, some of the guy teachers were staring at me in a really perverted way, I tried brushing it off as it’s just my mind fucking with me because I really want my daddy here, but I truly felt completely uncomfortable, I grabbed Lazaro’s hand and some of them even look mad or depressed. Definitely hoping and praying I don’t get any of them as teachers.

CHAPTER FIVE:

After we had eaten our dinner the Upperclassmen Principals introduced themselves, there was Mr. Bennett, and Ms. Shiver. After the awkward introduction they told us to go back to our dorm lobbies to meet our dorm counselors and hear the guidelines and rules. Lazaro grabbed me by the waist and turned me around before we left and made out with me, I said “Have fun meeting your other roommates since you avoided going back to your room since we got here.” He said “Have fun dealing with your roommate and meeting your other one.” I smiled and kissed him one more time. After he turned around and walked away, I noticed the teachers again—staring. I walk back to my dorm lobby and find all my friends—fellow members of party crew. Each member of party crew has their own interesting style, and background, and that was truly one of the main reasons why I loved our crew so much. That's what made us so different than all of the other average cliques. There was a lot of diversity, we all accepted each other’s differences. We all have different cultural backgrounds and all, but to us that didn’t matter. We actually considered ourselves a family. I hear this screech, a familiar screech, from behind me, it was from my friend Niki, fellow member of Party Crew. I was so happy to actually see her and it has been awhile. Me and her sat in the back of the lobby with a few other Party Crew members and talked, and talked, and talked. I didn’t mind because the only information they gave that I found to be relevant was that “Lights Out” was at 11pm, where they would lock the entire building and the doors would only be able to be opened from the inside but Niki shared with me that she had spent her afternoon looking for ways to sneak back into the building even after “light’s out”, which was rather good news since I got a text from Lazaro bragging about his perfect roommate arrangement since he got two of our good friends, and as well, party crew members, Keith and Quinn and that they found a place to throw amazing parties, but it’s a bit of ways off campus… through the woods. I was not stoked about this information at all. Knowing what I know about this lands history, trotting through the woods in the middle of the night was nowhere near my ideal of fun. I rather get caught having sex with Lazaro in a janitors closet and kicked out of school for it. However, nobody else seemed to have known about the history of the place except for me so I contained my paranoia and pretended to be excited about this. I texted back and made a joke and said “the school only put you three together to make an oreo.” Lazaro texted back “HAHA but I’m not black little girl. I’m Dominican. Get it right get it tight." Again, he’s goofy as hell and tries to make everything a joke sometimes, even when it isn’t that funny, but I love him for that. Despite how dumb or corny his jokes may be half of the time it never fails to put a smile on my face. I told Niki about our plan and she was stoked. I asked Lazaro if there was room for a few more and he said of course. I was actually a bit shocked that he didn’t ask me who I was inviting along, but since I’m in a room filled with estrogen raging females I’m sure he didn’t assume it was some random dude.

CHAPTER SIX:

The one last relevant thing the counselors said is where we had to pick up our class schedules for tomorrow, and then it hit me. This actually IS school. We went back to our rooms and there I found Hannah unpacking. Hannah West is one of my very best friends besides Niki. I screamed and jumped up and down at the fact we were roomies. I exclaimed “Oh my God, Hannah it’s you!" She said “Oh thank God I have you as a roommate I thought I was going to be stuck with this preppy bitch and someone else I didn’t know.” I laughed because I knew she was going to hate our roommate too, and it was hysterical that’s the first thing she said. Although, I do feel bad for her in a way, downstairs in the lobby during oreintation she didn’t talk to anyone at all, you would think a girl like her would definitely have someone to talk to. “So, Hannah why are you showing up so late?” I asked and she said “My fucking mom was strung out all day so I had to wait for my mom’s boyfriend to get off work to drive my ass here, it’s so weird how my junkie mother has the sweetest and somewhat attractive boyfriend. I know I would miss oreintation and dinner so I brought snacks, what time did they say "lights out” was?“ I said "“Lights out” is 11:00 PM. Also, it’s perfect that you have snacks. Lazaro texted me and said Keith and Quinn found the perfect place to get stoned, have parties, get drunk, and SWIM, just a mile or so outside of campus, but not outside campus gates so, technically we’re not leaving campus, and it is the first night so if we do get caught we can just say we got lost, also nobody else knows I brought weed yet....." She replied “Oh my God! You have weed!! Thank GOD! I am sooo happy about this, I bought two bottles of Captain too, so me and you can get cross faded. Also, are you sure it isn’t outside campus gates?” I said “HELL YEAH!!! and I don’t know Lazaro said that he was told it was fifteen feet away from a gate so technically it isn’t that far outside campus gates." She asked “Who else is going?” I said “It’s going to be me, you, Niki, Chandler, Quinn, Keith, Lazaro, and Kyler. You can text Joe if you want and bring him along, but I’m pretty sure one of the guys probably already told him.” She said “Nah, me and Joe haven’t really talked since end of summer party last weekend.” I asked “Oh, why not?" She said "Just some… bullshit drama as usual.” I said “Oh okay well hopefully tonight makes you feel better” She quietly responds with “I hope.” Lazaro called me right after “lights out” and said that him, Quinn, and Keith were all ready to go, they were just waiting on us to tell them we were ready. Me and Hannah got ready and went down the hall to Niki’s room to get her but she was already walking down the enormous hall way to meet up with us. We met the boys in the center of campus, and everyone greeted Hannah. “Hannah!? Is that you? I was beginning to think you weren’t coming!” said Kyler. “Nope, I’m here I was just really late.” Hannah said then laughed. Lazaro said “Well if we actually want to have some fun tonight we should probably not be standing in the middle of campus and we should probably start walking.” We were walking for quite some time before we actually got there. The spring was beautiful and enormous, but also very dark. There was no civilization this far out in the woods, there were no lights except for our flaslights. I will admit I was scared beyond beleif but felt better knowing I wasn’t alone. Lazaro popped opened Hannah’s bottle of Captain Morgan and we all started taking shots. Quinn was the first to jump in the water. More and more followed after that including myself. I remember feeling after a few shots that it was starting to feel like home again, Party Crew was together as usual getting drunk, getting high, and having a good time. The water was freezing. I jumped in and felt the blood within me turn to ice, my heart starting pumpig blood eratically because of how cold I was. We weren’t in the water a long time before Kyler yelled for everyone. “Hey guys!!! Come check this shit out!” yelled Kyler. It was extremely dark, without flashlights we would’ve been walking in the shoes of blind men. we all jumped out of the water as fast as we could, no one wanted to admit it but it felt strange to be swimming in the water, there was a strange vibe, and I could tell just by seeing their facial expressions when getting out. I could only get a glimpse though, shining flashlights into people’s faces can change their expression instantly, either that or they put their hand over their face. Of course each and every one of our THC fogged minds didn’t think about bringing towels or anything to keep us warm and dry afterwards, and we did have the idea that swimming would be involved. I can feel the goosebumps start from my neck and travel their way down my spine eventually arriving at my toes. My whole body felt frozen. We were walking in our underwear, because as well we didn’t think of bringing anything to swim in, it was also because of the fact that we couldn’t carry too much with us in case we got caught. “Look at how huge it is! It doesn’t even look that run down. I think we could turn this old farm house into a party house. I mean, we can skip class and come out here, and chill, we could sneak out at nights, especially on weekends and throw some bomb ass parties out here.” Kyler said. “This is why you are a key member to party crew my friend.” Quinn said. “Holy shit this is perfect” Lazaro said. I added “But it looks really old, and scary. What if it is covered in spiders, mice, racoons, or anything else that could be deadly and scary.” Lazaro said “You are such a girl when it comes to those things.” I said “No shit, those things are disgusting, and how do we even know this house is stable? It could collapse right on to us." Kyler said “Those things are disgusting, I agree with you, but we could come back during the day– one of these days, and clean the place up. And well one of us will have to be ballsy enough to test the stability of the upstairs and if we can walk around without any problems we should be good, I mean just look at the house, it doesn’t even look run down, it’s weird actually and a bit freaky.” Niki said “I’m about it but only after the place is fixed up a bit.” I felt really nervous because staring at this house gave me chills, something felt wrong about it. I am usually never scared like this, nothing scares me. But this old wooden farm house gave me chills and again I know the history of this land. Especially at nighttime this place looks very grotesque. Kyler did point out something extremely observant, but I don’t think he even realized it, that the house doesn’t look run down at all. I researched a lot about the Shirestown area before coming here. This area was abadoned after all the mysterious tragedies that have occured here, all roads that led to housing in this area were demolished, it is so weird how you can just walk a mile or two from the school campus where all the mysterious tragedies have occured to the vacant place with abandoned homes, this house belonged to an old neighborhood within Shirestown that is no longer on the map. “Guys, we should be heading back soon, I am pretty tipsy, and the first official day of school is tomorrow, and I would like to look at least somewhat decent instead of looking like a hot mess with a hangover.” Not only what I said was true, but it was also the perfect excuse to get the hell out of there. We all went back to our rooms, and Lazaro thought of this as a perfect opprotunity to spend the night with me. We had sex, again. It was going to feel weird not sleeping by his side. I am so used to it, even him just being in a different building that is walking distance away felt miles away. After we finished I looked at the time, it was 3:30 AM and we had to wake up at 6:00 AM. Lazaro had to wake up even earlier to sneak back into the boys dorm before the counselors arrived. With the mixture of alcohol and marijuana, Lazaro and Hannah we’re knocked out really fast. I as well was under the influence of both substances but had a hard time falling asleep, my buzz completely worn off by the time that I did. The last time I saw on the clock was 4:20 AM…. today is going to be a shitty day.

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Apparentaly I slept through my alarm and I wake up to a grumpy bleached blonde and tan skinned roommate standing at the foot of my bed. I said to myself “Oh shit it’s Elena.” and she said “Is that a boy?” I said sarcasticaly “No, it’s my ugly step-sister.” She rolled her eyes becuase of my sarcasm, but I on the other hand was actually pretty proud of my sarcasm, especially when I said sarcastic things without even trying. Sarcasm has become second nature to me and I have to say I'm not ashamed of that, saying something sarcastic despite my current mood, lack of sleep, and dreadful hangover I am still a witty sarcastic person. She said “You do know he cannot be in here, right?” I said kind of angrily towards her “No shit, that is why nobody has to know, right?” She said “I didn’t see anything.” and smiled and walked across the hall into the bathroom to get ready for today. I thought to myself that it is very weird how nice she was being. I was pretty fucking rude to her yesterday and I never got the chance to apoligize so maybe this is her way of showing me that she’s actually pretty cool. However, I didn’t care to even think about it too much at that moment in time due to my throbbing headache. I leaned over Lazaro’s back and kissed his left cheek repeatedly until he woke up. I said “Baby, I don’t mean to rush you or anything but we slept in a litte bit and it’s almost 6:15 so you should probably haul ass back to your dorm.” He shot up and said “Oh shit!” Then put on his clothes, kissed me, and hauled ass like I suggested. Campus monitors like to catch the people running from dorms they shouldn’t have even been at, especially this early in the morning, so I was hoping he’d make it back alright. I reassured my hope by saying “It’s the first day of school I doubt they’d be checking right now." I dreaded the getting ready process because I was just not into it, however I had no excuse to just stay in bed and sleep all day because it’s not like I missed the bus, or my dad’s car broke down, I am living at school now and it is the first day. I brushed my teeth, I’m not sure if it was the mint from the toothpaste or the sound of running water that woke me up but I was feeling a bit more energized. I didn’t feel like doing anything fancy with my makeup, because I still feel a bit intoxicated, and I don’t really have the time for it. I just did a simple winged eyeliner, and mascara, and touched up the eyebrows of course, because besides the wings of my eyeliner being perfectly even, the eyebrows are the most important part. As I walked back into the room to find an outfit I found Hannah doing her makeup, I was going to wake her up myself, but shockingly Elena was kind enough to wake her up as well. I put on a pair of black yoga pants leggings, and a Victoria’s Secret “PINK” zip-up jacket, with a pair of black jelly-like flip flops. At least the shoes showed off my cute pedicure. Hannah walks in behind me and asks if she could borrow my Wu-Tang Clan crop top and black boots, and of course I said she could. We were the same size in everything. We wore the same size shoes, t-shirts, and pants, and we both stand at 5'3'', we put a literal meaning to the saying "two peas in a pod." I didn’t think of it at first, but the thought of why she asked me to borrow clothes came to mind breifly later that day. It didn’t bother me though. “Hey Hannah, do you wanna go get a coffee and like a bagel or something, because I feel like shit” I asked and she said “I was hoping you’d ask before they stopped serving it for free.”

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I have not seen any of the creepy teachers I had seen last night during dinner. Besides from the great quality food, and living on campus it started to feel like a normal first day of school. Everyone was running around campus, looking for their friends, classes, and everyone had backpacks on, but I mostly see cliques. Not sure if it was the hangover, or the fact that people tend to segregate themselves unknowingly, but I felt the need to vomit everywhere. Once Hannah and I eat, I text Lazaro asking if he got back okay, it took him awhile to text back which made me nervous, but I tried to calm myself down by assuring myself that he’s probably in the shower and getting ready or something. When he did text back he told me that everything was okay and that he did get back without being caught. He had to call Quinn to open the door for him. We all meet up about twenty minutes later and we all look like fucking shit, so I felt good knowing I’m not the only one who looks like a hot mess on the first day of school, but hell who did I need to impress anyway? We all got our schedules and breifly went over them to see if we had any classes together. I was so relieved that me and Lazaro had four classes together, but unfortuantely not all of them. My first period is  Chemistry and I'm so exhilerated that Lazaro and I have this class together because it's the first class of the day, however he isn’t here yet because he had to go talk to the Dean in his office because of a complication on his schedule. Apparently he doesn’t have a class he signed up for. Anyways, I of course saved Lazaro a seat next to me and waited for him to get here. However, I was not expecting some douchey, dirty blonde hair, blue-eyed jock who tries way too hard for the look of "I didn't do anything with my hair" but he actually spent about thirty minutes on it, preppy type asshole to move my bag and sit next to me. I tried to get him to move but he refused to listen. Fortunately, Aidon walked in and told him to get up and to leave me alone. I don’t know why he listened to Aidon, who was a lot smaller, and definitely lacked as much muscle than him, but he did and he pretended to hit Aidon, but Aidon didnt flinch, instead he laughed and said “If only you took your GPA as seriously as you did a fucking chair.” Aidon may be small, and quite petite for 16 year old boy, but he is pretty tall, and his words sometimes are all it takes. The things he says are pretty intimidating. He’s not that nice of a guy when it comes to people who aren’t his friends, well to be completely honest he's an asshole unless he likes you as a person, so if you don't know him or don't have a general idea of who he is, well then you probably think he's a complete dick and can be really cocky at times. No pun intended. He sat down next to me and said “I’ll sit here until Lazaro comes back because I wouldn’t want to beat some ass today.” Couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious, or was just facetiously serious due to the fact that’s how he always is. However, unfortunately I know, and Aidon knows that there’s no way he could physically beat that jocky douche-bag, he could definitely mentally beat him, but there’s no way he could beat him physically. That jocky douche whose name I later found out was Zack, probably bench presses more than half of Aidon’s entire body weight. I asked Aidon why he did not join us last night, who fortunately for him, isn’t hungover on the first day. He said “I didn’t wanna be hungover on the first day of school.” Then he just looks at me with this 'I am disappointed in you’ face, but of course he was being facetious about it, I think. Quinn walks in and saves Aidon a seat after he realizes what he is doing. The bell rings, and here comes the teacher, who insisted on being called “Professor” but he needs to pipe down a bit on the ridicoulously high standard ego, this may be a boarding school, but it’s not one of those million dollar prep schools, and after all this is only a high school. Rather just stick to calling you Mr. Carter. Lazaro walks in late and “Professor” Carter gives him a dirty look through his slightly lowered, black framed eyeglasses, and asked for his name and reason for being late. As Lazaro starts walking toward me, Aidon gets up and moves over to Quinn, and Lazaro kisses me on the cheek. I can see Zack noticing Lazaro’s affection but I didn’t mind him watching. Maybe he’ll get the message. The teacher walks to the back of the room and hands Lazaro a semester long itenerary, and said “Don’t ever show up late for my class again without a pass.” I looked over at Lazaro and whispered “I thought you were talking to the Dean why didn’t you get a pass?” He said “I did, but after talking to the Dean I went back to my room because I had to wake up Keith and then found him puking his brains out in the trash can, then he asked me to go pick up his schedule for him and give it to him later. By the time I was done with that the time the Dean signed the pass and by the time I was about to walk in the door the time gap was too far apart considering the Dean’s office is right downstairs. Rather make it look like I was late altogether.” I said “I guess that makes sense then." As the teacher was going on and on about classroom rules and expectations I studied his personality. After all, I am good at reading body language, and coincidentaly he happens to be one of the teachers who was sitting with all the other creepy teachers last night who definitely noticed me before I noticed them. Mr. Carter seemed a bit irritable. He was constantly grumpy. Never seemed satisfied with anything. Everytime a student raised their hand to ask a question he would sigh and say what in a very grouchy tone. The bell rings and Mr. Carter said “Finally,” and looked directly at Lazaro but indrectly speaking about him and said “Don’t forget to be on time to my class everyone.” Lazaro stopped me in the hallway and said “Did I really piss that dude off?” I said “No trust me, he was like that before you even showed up.” Lazaro said “Damn, this class is going to suck. Where’s your next class? I want to walk you there.” I said “Calculus in room 419, and don’t be late again babe.” He said “Yeah…. I’m not going to be late again and my class is on the first floor of the building next door and yours is on the fourth of this building.” Then he laughed and said, "Well I’ll see you in Psychology." Then kissed me and walked off. After arriving in my Calculas class, I realized that Aidon and I once again have a class together and I was thankful to have him in my class because I thought I was going to be alone. Not too many of my friends take a liking in adavanced mathematics, so they all pretty much had algebra and geometry. In this class there are just individual desks but I sat at the one right next to Aidon. Our teacher’s name is Ms. Maslar. She seemed really young and besides her messed up teeth, and face that looked like she was constantly terrified of everything she had a pretty hot body. Her overly filled in everybrows are probably what made her face really undesireable, and of course the crooked, off-white, partially stained teeth.  Her body though could’ve been a model’s body. How ironic. She was really short and petie too. I was even taller than her and I’m rarely ever taller than anyone unless you’re a nine year old, and even most nine year olds almost tower me. However, Ms. Maslar was quite nice she didn’t seem too strict at all which was a releif because I was beginnng to think every teacher in this school was either a perverted pedophile or an asshole…. or a combination of the two. When she talked though she talked in a somehwhat high-pitched voice and seemed really absent-minded which is an odd trait for someone whose supposed to be teaching me, especially a curriculum as hard as calculas. Third period Psychology; not much to say about this class. The teacher seems really nice, yet another female though which is probably why. I couldn’t tell at this point if what I was feeling inside was because of the hangover I still had or because everything about this school seemed backwards. It’s usually female teachers that are bitchy, but the female teachers here seemed to be pretty laid back, and the guy teacher’s are the uptight bitchy ones. The thought of it made me want to puke because this school is already so unusual. Either way, I was relieved to know I had a pretty nice teacher for this class considering it was the one of the classes I signed up for and had been waiting for. Lazaro signed up for the class too just so he could have a second elective credit and because I was going to be in it, fortunately luck was on our side and landed us in the same exact class. Something about the human brain and studying it fascinated me. Call me whatever name you want for it, I don’t care, but no debate you have against Psychology will beat my rehearsed ones to defend it.  After all, studying the human brain, and all it’s functions about a particular human can be a hundred times more engaging and interesting than solving for x. Fourth period Humanities class. In other words we’re studying the history of human nature. I again, have Lazaro in my class and by this point of the day I was exhausted. I wanted to puke all over the place and the caffiene from my coffee was long gone, and history was one of the most boring subjects ever. Don't get me wrong, I like history, I really do, but I like interactive history, like ghost tours and I love to hear about the roaring 20s with bad ass notorious organized crime. I strongly dislike the common way schools teach history especially since they teach the same things we have been hearing since the 8th grade over and over. The older you get the more in depth the same exact subject gets. Multiple boring pages from boring textbooks at a time with boring monotone voices of the teachers. I sat behind Lazaro hoping the teacher wouldn’t be able to see me putting my head down behind him. Unfortunately, he did and he moved me to the front of the class. He seemed really nice…. which is odd because he was one of the teachers staring at me during dinner last night. Maybe he’s overly friendly, and that’s the problem. He didn’t care about me having my head down it was the first day of school and he already handed us the class itenerary which is probably the only important thing you need on the first day, but it was the perfect excuse to move me closer to him, of course, or at least that is how my mind is processing it. He had black framed eyeglasses like Mr. Carter, he looked older than him though and it was evidently distinguishable due to the salt and pepper hair color. He was really tall and moved around a lot which made me want to puke he was making me nervous by constantly moving. I felt my headache growing stronger. Fifth period Journalism. Creative writing wasn’t one of my indomitable classes. I was great at making things up on my own and writing little short stories off of topics I found pleasing such as mystery, investigative mysteries, or spooky stuff. Not the boring randomized topics schools give you. I was also pretty upset that I didn’t have another class with Lazaro after this until 7th period but at least Upperclassmen lunch was after this class. This teacher seemed really boring. She was also quite old, and she irritated me because every little thing that she didn’t approve of would throw her off and make her go on a five minute long rant. I mean, I could understand why she would do something like that if a student was being an ass and not doing what they were supposed to do but the whole class for the most part was quiet with an exception of a few whispers in the back of the room, which is where I was sitting. This teacher would let shit hit the fan if the desks weren’t lined up evenly. Seriously? What kind of teacher does that? She wore really long skirts, and thrift store looking shirts, she had regular old people glasses with big frames, but she didn’t really appear to be as old as she sounds. You could still see hear naturally dark hair color beneath the gray top coat. I’m assuming she’s in her late fifties to maybe mid sixties. Her train of thought often stumbled off it’s tracks also.

CHAPTER NINE:

Finally, it’s lunch time. After the amazing home cooked style dinners last night  I was eager to see the lunch menus, and to finally put something more in my stomach other than a bagel and some coffee. Obviously, us Party Crew members sat mostly all together and the lunch menu was amazing, there was fried chicken with homestyle mashed potatoes and grilled aspharagus which was fucking astonishing right about now. It was the only thing they were serving though besides the salad bar of course and an alternative vegeterian meal, but I didn’t care at all. I was so ready to stuff my face with this incredible food. I actually like the cafeteria workers here more than any of the other staff. Keith and Kyler asked us if we wanted to skip the rest of the classes to go check out the barn house. I said “There’s no reason to skip the one class we have left. Besides, 6th period is really only study hall, if we leave lunch early we can get there and have about 50 or so minutes to check it out and still be back in time for our last class.” Kyler implied “Well, me and Keith are skipping seventh since Keith skipped all day, and if you want to come check it out then you got to go with us now.” Aidon who has no idea what we are even talking about of course asks us what we are talking about, Lazaro then begins to explain everything to him. “Last night me, Lacey, Niki, Hannah, Chandler, Quinn, Keith, and Kyler found this old abandoned farmhouse–” Kyler butts in and says “I’m the one who found it actually…… Just saying.” Lazaro gives him this intimidating look as if he was saying "don't fucking interrupt me," and then looks back over at Aidon and says “Anyways, Kyler had an idea of turning it into a party house. A place to skip classes and have.. well kick ass parties that we can’t have on campus. They want to go check it out now for whatever reason and go clean it out, and see what we can do with it.” Kyler then adds “It’s going to be sick as fuck” Which in teenager slang that means it’s going to be awesome. Kyler asks Aidon “So, are you down or nah?” Aidon implies that he is indeed down. Again, in teenager slang; it means that he is looking forward to it. Aidon then adds “I don’t want to miss my 7th period though my mom is going to be calling the school today just to make sure I’m not using this school as some sort of vacation and I don’t want her to drag my ass out of here and home school me. Not only will I have to spend all day with my mother, but I won’t ever see you guys anymore.” Kyler said “Dude, it’s fine me and Keith are the only ones skipping you can walk back with the rest of them.”

Lazaro, Quinn, and I walk around the lunch room and other various parts of the campus to look for other Party Crew members to go see the house that didn’t already see last night. Once we got there the newbies to the area were shocked and really pleased to know they have an escape-from-school place to hang out in, get high in, and all that sort of stuff. Kyler asked if anyone wanted to do the honors of walking, jumping, and running around the upstairs to see how stable it is. Of course nobody was eagerly jumping for that role, no pun intended, and Kyler said “Fine… I’ll do it.” and he did and surprisingly it was sturdy enough. Nothing too exciting happened here except for moving all the unwanted shit to the attic and sweeping the shit out and dusting with cleaning utensils that looked fairly new and I’m the only one who seemed to notice that a farm house that is allegedly abandoned on a piece of land that hasn’t been on any maps since the 1930s has fairly new cleaning utensils. I tried to brush it off as maybe Kyler brought them here already. Maybe Kyler had already been skipping classes and knowing Kyler he would do something like steal cleaning supplies from a janitor’s closet. I wasn’t going to ask him though but I didn’t want to go back to sqaure one and be scared and paranoid about how these utensils got here in case he said "No." After we finished cleaning for the most part Lazaro looks at Kyler and says “This place is pretty big, but are we even sure this place has electricity, and where are we even going to get furniture for this place? I mean it’s not like we can order furniture or call an electrician and tell me to meet us at our abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.” Kyler said “Relax bro I got it all covered, the electricity part not so much, BUT there is however an electricity source like thirty feet away all we need is a bunch of extension cords. I can just drive into town and buy some." I thought to myself why would there, and how would there be an electricity source in an abandoned neighborhood that hasn’t been on any maps for over eighty years. Even if Kyler did bring the cleaning utensils I am officially back to square one, we are definitely not the only people who have used this farmhouse... Someone else could be using it already. I don't know how I would even begin to tell them this, plus I don't want to ruin it for everyone. I keep telling myself that I'm overreacting, and that maybe the elcetricity source is for the school, but I am still not feeling better. It was now time to start heading back to campus for the last class of the day. I almost had forgotten we were even at school.

CHAPTER TEN:

Seventh period Drama class, I walked in and the first person I see is douche-bag Zack, of course he would be in drama class, all the preppy kids were. In drama class there's only three main types of students: the preps who are a majority of girls who can't act or sing who just want to be the center of attention and constantly boast about how much money their parents have, the artistic and awkwardly social who sometimes take theatre way too seriously, and the average people who want an elective credit in theatre arts, but then there's me, the not so awkwardly social, in fact I'm socially outgoing, my dad does make a lot of money, but I just want a credit in theatre arts, and I do enjoy performing in plays, I've done it since the third grade, I remember Kyler puking on me from being so nervous. We were performing a Christmas play. I was of course a pissed off third grader but that didn't stop Kyler and I from being friends, in fact it brought us closer, I taught him to not be shy and I got him over his stage freight, I'm actually very proud of myself. However, this time Zack is surrounded by his other preppy-jocky douchey friends who are only in this class to attempt to hook up with the preppy girls with blonde hair who don't know shit about theatre arts, even if it slapped them directly in the face they would still be completely oblivious. I walk past and Zack slaps me in the ass. I barely had time to even react before I see Lazaro punching him in the face. Zack stands up and then so does his buddies, Lazaro is badly outnumbered but this didn't scare him. Zack and Lazaro didn't sit down, they keep yelling at each other and pushing each other. The teacher walks in and says "Do I really have to suspend students on the first day of school?” Zack seems to be intimidated by the fact of getting suspended which not only will he be suspended from school but also suspended from the football team. I said “Lazaro, baby, just sit down please….. I don’t want you to get suspended from school nor the basketball team before you even have a chance to play a single game….” Lazaro doesn’t break eye contact with Zack but he grabs my ass with both his hands and picks me up and brings me over to our table. Other than the douche bags that probably jerk each other off in the locker room, I know this class is going to be fun because practically all of the main party crew that I associate with on a regular basis is in this class. I even heard the teacher call Kyler’s and Keith’s names. Too bad they have the “flu” and couldn’t make it to class today. Anyways, the teacher for this class seemed a bit nutty. She seemed to be just like the socially awkward kids in the class who take theatre entirely too seriously. She also bragged about the fact that she receives royalty checks from a commercial I never even heard of. She acts like she's Angelina Jolie or something. She talked in a fake British accent for half of the class before revealing that she was just "acting." I can't lie though, if she never revealed that the accent was fake I would've never guessed.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

About five weeks go by, and the school flu starts to kick in. In other words, that’s when everyone loses their motivation and the assignments start to actually pile up. During study hall Kyler said the farmhouse is all set up with Christmas lights, and normal lights, bean bags, music, and posters, and fuzzy rugs, and everything that would make a party house, a party house. I asked “How the hell did you manage to do all that without any help?” Kyler said “I was motivated. I mean it’s about time we have our first official party of the year, right?” Lazaro said “When? Tonight?” Kyler said "No tomorrow, we have to gather enough people.” I said “Wait… this isn’t going to just be a Party Crew party….?” Kyler said “Well, I mean… we run the party, and we own the party, but there’s nothing wrong with bringing other people to the party. I mean we’re all practically family I can’t hook up with any of you.” Quinn looks over at him and said "Awwe buddy you know you like me." They're obviously just joking, but Kyler said "Whatever man you wish." I add interuppting Kyler and Quinn's debate “You make a good point. I don’t care who parties with us as long as they know the Party Crew rules: No stealing of any kind; weed, alcohol, phones, money, lighters, etc. No petty drama. No fights. Then everything should be fine, but I mean I thought this was a Party Crew house only. What if the non-party crew people we invite decide to get comfortable in our farmhouse?”  Kyler said “Very good point, but that’s why I already got it covered. If anyone decides to do such a thing they won’t be able to get in. I bought locks, and made keys for the main party crew members only.” Lazaro high-fived him for that and said “Damn, good thinking, and I thought you were dumb.” Kyler begins to laugh but then says “Wait.. fuck you dude.” but they both laughed it off because Kyler knew Lazaro was only being facetious. We joke like this with each other all the time. It's like sibling rivalry. A few minutes later my roommate Elena walked over to our table and asked if she could sit with us. I hesitated to answer but Kyler answered for me and said “Of course girl.” Of course he was thinking with the wrong head. Then Quinn who often thinks a lot like me said “Don’t you have a table with your cheerleading friends?” Elena answered bluntly “They don’t like me. I actually don’t really have any friends here.” This response made everyone quiet, and it probably made Quinn feel like an asshole, but I’m sure he probably didn’t care at the same time. Her response probably shocked me the most because I was wrong about her. She doesn’t seem like one of those girls who would have problems making friends, especially with other fake blonde, and tanned skinned girls. I then asked “Why don’t they like you?” I mean, I’m not going to feel bad for her until I find out whether or not it’s her fault they don’t like her. She said “It’s because I’m different and nice. They started hating me after I let this girl in front of us in line because she was cut by like ten football players. A girl who they had earlier made fun of because of her outfit, and I don’t tolerate that sort of shit.” I then felt even worse because not only was I wrong about her, I was extremely wrong about her at this point. Kyler said “Well, you’re beautiful and you deserve good decent friends. We’re throwing a party tomorrow night. Do you wanna come?” She looked so shocked and said “Yes.. of course! I do love to party…. Unless it’s a typical high school party where people only like to be blacked out wasted and fight each other, and steal cigarettes and shit from each other.” This girl keeps making me feel worse and worse, because I was so wrong about her, and from the things she’s saying she already fits into Party Crew. How could this be? Was she listening to our conversation and just telling us what we wanted to hear? I'm definitely keeping my eyes open with her.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

“Welcome, welcome, welcome! We, Party Crew hereby grant this the first official party of the new school year. The number one rule that will not be tolerated if broken under any circumstances is stealing! No jacking other peoples weed, alcohol, cigarettes, lighters, money and any other personal belongings. If reported that anyone gets ANYTHING stolen the party will officially be shut down! This is not to be a hard ass, this is to keep the vibe positive and lively. The second rule is know your limits! Yes, the point is to have fun, and yes the point is to get hella wasted, BUT I am no one’s butler I WILL NOT under any circumstances clean up your throw up! Please have the decency to clean up after yourself or at least get someone you came with to help you out, or if it comes down to it, find me, or any of the Party Crew members to help you out right away. I don’t want your nasty ass puke marinating into my rugs, or furniture! Rule number three is DON’T break shit! Please treat the items in this farmhouse as if it were your own. If something gets broken that’s money wasted out of my pockets personally, and if no one owns up to it and pays up for the expenses NOBODY will be accepted back into the party house ever again besides the very members of Party Crew. I get that shit happens sometimes, if you accidentally break something, please just let us know, and everything will be alright. Last but surely not least, I’m sure I’ll make up new rules as I go, is to NEVER tell anyone about this farmhouse. If you are not a member of Party Crew that means you were singled out and selected, we weren’t giving random handouts to our free liquor. IF word gets out, not only will it spread like wildfire, but it will put us at risk of getting exposed and getting this farmhouse demolished by the schoolboard. Oh, and one more thing I promise, THIS IS NOT intended in anyway to be a high school atmosphere. The youngest accepted will be 16 BUT if you act like little joog, you get kicked out so NO FIGHTING and petty drama. Keep the atmosphere positive and lively and respect our rules or you will NOT ever return here which you should feel honored at the fact that you’re even here to begin with considering we run the only party house on campus! Good luck throwing parties like this on campus….. Oh wait…. You won’t!!!!!!! PARTY ON!” Kyler’s speech about the Party Crew Party House felt like a really long lecture, but I completely respect and agree. As the night went on I see people starting to hook up and start to get really sloppy. I kept my eye on Elena tonight because even though she is the exact opposite of what I thought she was going to be I still had my doubts, I mean that could’ve easily been a bullshit act. She wasn’t really talking to anybody, just a few random girls and Kyler and it’s no surprise to me once I see Kyler whisper in her ear and easy as 1, 2, 3 she was walking up the stairs with him. Kyler is a man whore, he will sleep with any girl he considered to be at least a “5.5” out of 10 on his ridiculous “how hot that girl is” scale. As the night starts to drift on I start losing my buzz, I didn't want to get too drunk tonight even though it's the weekend, plus Lazaro is super wasted and I have to make sure he gets back to his dorm. When Lazaro gets really drunk he doesn't listen to anyone, and depending on the liquor he consumes depends on his mood. I forbid him to ever drink Patron again, because it makes him super angry when he's drunk, he almost got arrested one night a few summers ago for fighting people. Practically anything else just makes him really goofy and fidgety or really sick. I don't know what all he's consumed at this point so I have to keep a closer eye on him. I start cleaning up some extra trash on the floor because I don't want Kyler to freak out, but I mean he can't really expect a bunch of drunk people to keep in track of every single thing they leave behind. I start talking to my friend Chandler who hasn't drank at all tonight, she's just smoked weed. "Hey Chandler, wanna help me carry this keg upstairs? I don't want anyone else to drink out of it, it's the last one." She of course said "No problem," and helped me drag it to an empty room upstairs. Upon arriving into the room, I see Lazaro sleeping on the floor. He just barely made it to a pink fuzzy rug and a beanbag chair. Chandler and I sit on the beanbag chairs and start talking about life and school. I asked her "Do you miss Portland?" she said "Of course I do, moving out here with my mother and being so far away from my dad sucks, but at least I get to see you guys more often, especially since we all live in the same place now." I met Chandler five years ago over the summer, that's usually when she came to town to visit her mom. During the school year she lived with her dad in Oregon, but her mom recently won a custody case, so now she'll be visiting her dad on summers. Chandler isn't your typical friend. She's the girl who will literally be down for anything, and literally be there for you regadless of the situation. If you needed bail money, she'd be there, if you just needed a laugh she'd there. Hell, even upon bailing you out she'll be cracking jokes to make you laugh. Even if you think you can never laugh again, if Chandler's around, I promise you will. I hardley ever see her take anything serious. She's always happy-go-lucky. She helps me wake Lazaro up and helps me walk him down stairs, he's almost entirely motionless, stumbling and bouncing off me and Chandler from side to side. She asks me if I needed help bringing him back to his dorm, I said please. On the weekends, the dorm doors stay open until 2 AM, which was pretty cool, unfortunately though, it's 3 AM, and I don't know who I could call to come open the doors because everyone I know is at the party or already completely passed out. I start thinking of this on our hike back to campus, but there was no way I was spending the night in the farm house so I kept telling myself "I'll figure it out." We get to the entrance and I don't see anyone in the lobby like I had hoped. Chandler said she knew a way in. She brought me around to the back of the building to this crawlspace that lead underneath the building.. Just looking at it my mouth slipped "Oh fuck no," even though that was supposed to stay in my head. She said "It's okay trust me you won't be crawling for long, my friend Cameron showed me this, he said he uses it all the time, it leads to the dormatory kitchen, and from there you can go wherever you want in the building." I said "Okay but I'll need help with Lazaro." Who at this point is less drunk than he was, but he's still pretty drunk. We push Lazaro in first and I crawl in after him, I had to encourage him to keep moving the whole time, and Chandler was behind me dictating which way I should tell Lazaro to move until we eventually crawled up through a hatch in the dorm kitchen. I started to ask myself, "why is this even here?" but giving the current circumstances I was thankful for it's existence. Chandler started to speak as if she read my mind. She said "This is one of the oldest buildings on campus, it was here when it was a hospital." I looked shocked because I thought I was the only one who researched the history. I said "So you know all about the Shirestown murders and strange occurences?" She said "Yes, but I don't like to talk about it. I keep telling myself that the past is the past and there's nothing to worry about. Besides we've been in school for a month now if the land was so cursed I think something would've happened by now." Her words did not settle well with me at all, I had this really bad feeling in my gut and it kind of infuriated me how Chandler pretended to not be scared. The one person besides me who knows of the vile history doesn't want to talk about it and she pretends to not care! Please care so I can spill my feelings about this place to someone who already knows about this history. Please care so I can worry with someone at the same time so I don't have to feel like I'm constantly paranoid and overreacting. I stayed quiet so then Chandler added "Well, I'm going to go say hey to my friend Cameron, he said he's still up and has weed, and then I'm leaving. Are you staying with Lazaro or do you want to come get high?" I would've gone with Chandler, but to be completely honest I wouldn't just throw my boyfriend into bed and then leave to go get high with Chandler and some stranger, that and dealing with drunk Lazaro has gotten me very tired so I respectfully decline and drag Lazaro to the elevator. I spent the night with him, and Keith was already in the room when we got there. All I remember after arriving was undressing myself and Lazaro and passing right out.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

I woke up, and see that I'm the only one awake. I immeditately see Quinn in his bed meaning sometime after I got here with Lazaro he showed up. I don't remember exactly what time it was when I finally got up here so I really couldn't say what time the party at the farmhouse actually ended. I start recollecting memories from last night like a play-by-play all up to the moment of walking into the room. I notice a majority of my clothes and my shoes along wth Lazaro's were spread across the room, making a trail to his bed. I roll over facing Lazaro and kiss the tip of his nose and I start to drift back into a sleep until someone knocks loudly on the door, being that I'm the only one who didn't get heavily intoxicated last night and currently the only one awake I seem to be the only one who heard it. I started thinking to myself, maybe they'll go away if nobody answers. Nope. Wrong. They knocked again, this time more loudly. I got up and searched the floor for my shirt and shorts, put them on while walking towards the door. My shorts weren't even buttoned and I open the door getting ready to throw a bitch fit, but I see Chandler. She said "You have to let me in, Cameron's friend is being really weird and touchy and following me and Cameron went to work at the campus store." I said "Girl, it's 8:30 in the morning and you bang on the door with urgency for this!?" I'm not a very happy person in the mornings, and this doesn't make it any better. She said "I'm sorry but I'm not getting raped!" I asked her if she had gotten any sleep, and she said "Barely. I couldn't get comfortable, I was trapped inside my mind and over-thinking all night." I wanted to ask her if it's because we mentioned the school's history but I wouldn't want to bring it up again, and I certainly didn't want to start thinking about it. Giving the fact that I know the history it has made my experience here 10x more eerie. I just kept the thought to myself and that maybe Chandler really feels the same way I do, but just doesn't want to talk about it. I told her "Well, try to get a little sleep, when Lazaro wakes up we're going to go get some food, want me to wake you up so you can join?" she said "Sure, thanks." I try to fall back asleep but I just can't, I ended up doing exactly what I tried not to do which was think about the brutal and horrifying history of the land, and because of the fact that Quinn's snoring seems to be the only thing my ears can focus on right now. I roll back over grabbing Lazaro's hand and wrapping it around my body. I stare around the room. I can see Keith on his top bunk, still sleeping, Quinn obviously still sleeping below Keith, and Chandler on the floor using Quinn's clothes as a pillow. Thirty minutes go by and I can feel Lazaro slowly waking up. He moves his head over mine and kisses my cheek. He said "Good morning." In his super tirey morning voice, and I could still smell the alcohol on his breath. I rub his facial hair and move a few of his dreadlocks out of his face and just smile at him. He makes me so happy, and moments like this I just cherish. Being with him makes me forget about the world around us. He said "I'm going to go brush my teeth and shower. Want to shower with me?" Then he winked at me. I said "Duh." in a playful flirty voice. In the shower we start talking and he said "I'm hungry when we get back into the room try waking up everyone and see if they want some food." I said "By the time we get back into the room and get them up they're going to stop servng food for free." He said "I don't care, I'll pay for you and the rest of them can figure it out." I said "Baby you don't have to pay for me, my dad put money in my account." Our school has accounts set up so that students who wanted extra money for extracurricular activities or food they had the money to do so. He said as he gets behind me and grips his strength around me and rocks me side to side while kissing my neck. "I don't care, I'm paying for you because you my baby." I started thinking to myself "Why in the hell is he being so cute right now?" Lazaro was always cute but he had his random moments when he would be extra cute for no reason, and I loved it. By the time we got back to the room everyone was already awake.. Barely. They were all just checking their phones and not saying a word to each other. That's what usually happens every morning. Even when there was no drinking the night before. Chandler got up and said "Lacey, Cameron invited me to go eat with him so do you mind if I go with him instead?" I said "Of course not, have fun." I don't know who Cameron is but it's pretty obvious that Chandler has a thing for him and I'm not going to get in between that. Why would she have to ask me if she could go with him? I wouldn't have told her no, but I guess it was out of respect because I technically did informally invite her to come with us. Quinn jumps up and starts changing and says I'm going with you and Keith shortly follows. By the time we got food we decided to sit outside and eat in the courtyard. It was a beautiful day out in early October. Autumn is my favorite season, I don't know why it's just something about the smell in the air that makes my soul smile. I see Hannah start walking up to us, and I asked her "Did Elena ever come back last night?" Just to see if she spent the night with Kyler. Hannah said "Yeah, she did but she left again because she forgot her phone. She didn't come back after that." My gut kind of had this anxious knotted feeling. I said "Okay... Maybe she stayed with Kyl--" my thought was interrupted because I then see Kyler walking through the courtyard coming our way so then I added "Never mind." Kyler walks up to us and said "What's up, bitches? Have fun last night?" Quinn said "Clearly you had more fun fucking that blonde chick." Kyler just giggled and said "Right!" Keith is studying for his ACT test this afternoon so he's just sipping coffee and obsereving the conversation while multitasking with his face in his booklet. Keith has been studying that ACT pamphlet for two weeks now, I have very high hopes for him and I know he's confident about it. I look over at Kyler and said "So about that blonde chick" as I advert my attention over to Quinn because I mocked him then back to Kyler "Where did she stay last night?" He said "I have no idea, I fucked her then left. We left at the same time but went seperate ways after we got on campus." Everyone suddenly had this worried expression on their face but I don't think anoyone was quite as worried as I was. I stood up and said "You have the audacity to fuck a girl but you can't even walk her back to her dorm to make sure got back okay? She was drunk Kyler anything could've happened." Lazaro grabs my arm and says "Calm down, baby." Keith adds, "No I agree with Lacey, what if she got caught and rats us out? That was fucked up Kyler." I'm thankful Keith agrees with me but we're not exactly on the same page. In my mind I'm seeing worse scenarios. Kyler said "Well, fuck guys I'm sorry. I was drunk too all I wanted to do was go back to my room and sleep." I sit back down and grab my coffee, and just sit in shock. Lazaro starts to rub my back he can tell I'm stressing. Everyone else pretty much stayed quiet. Quinn said "Okay, well we'll see her in Study Hall today, it's Sunday. If she's not in Study Hall then we should worry, right?" Everyone began to collectively agree. I agreed for the sake of sparing an argument amongst us, but I really didn't agree. After we all ate I went back to my dorm to change clothes and grab things I would need for study hall tonight and put them into a bag. Hannah comes in behind me and sits on her bed. She looks up and asks "Are you okay?" I sat down and said "No, I hate this place." I began to tell Hannah about the history of the place and I can tell it's starting to freak her out a bit but then she did exactly what I was afraid she would do, the reason why I never talked to anyone about it, she said "I think you're overreacting Lacey." I stood up and walked out and called Lazaro. I called him up crying asking if he could meet me by the school swimming pool, where I had managed to end up at after my anger induced walk. The swim team was practicing but I was just drowning in tears and had my face burrowed into my arms and knees while sitting on the bleachers. I didn't care if anyone saw me, and I didn't care if they knew I was crying. At this point I was just finally breaking down after bottling it up for so long. Lazaro finally shows up and hugs me, he doesn't even ask what's wrong yet because he knows that I want to out-cry myself first. I lay my head in his lap and he rubs my head waiting for me to stop crying. I finally do, and I just lift my head up and said "Lazaro, I'm scared." he said "Baby, why what's wrong? Are you okay?" I said "I'm fine but what if Elena isn't? Do you know who the cops are going to first? Her roommates!" I was waiting for Lazaro to say "you're overreacting" but he didn't and that made me so joyous. He said "Lacey, baby, I know you're scared. We're all worried, but you don't have anything further to worry about except for where she is and what happened to her. Baby, you didn't do anything wrong. You did everything the way you were supposed to. I got so drunk that you had to help me back to my dorm. If I didn't get so drunk you wouldn't have had to babysit me and take care of me all night and then you probably could've put yourself into a liable situation." I didn't say anything, and Lazaro grabs my chin and adverts my attention to his eyes and he said "Baby, the universe tends to unfold as it should." He started talking about his belief in fate, and for once it actually made me feel better. I change the subject kind of and ask him "What about free will? Making your own decisions? Everything is just fate? Like, getting a cup of coffee this morning instead of juice, that was fate?" he said "Yeah. Think of it this way; remember all those girly magazines you used to be obsessed with? It had those games and quizzes? Remember those games where you started off with one scenario and it gave you options to pick your next move all leading to another scenario which eventually led to the conclusion based off the choices you made? Well, that's just like fate. Every single day we make choices that eventually end us up in a place we were meant to be at all along." I just look at him with an enlightened smile. He made me feel so happy, and no one has ever described fate so distinctively to me. My smile quickly faded because I remembered Elena. I asked him "So whatevever happens or happened to Elena is... fate? She did things that led her to disappear? What about every other teenager, or child, or adult even who disappears? Who have families they love....?" He looked at me like he wanted to say, "baby I don't have all the answers" but he said "I don't know....." instead and quickly looked down to his shoes. I grabbed his hand to comfort him. I never questioned Lazaro's beliefs like this before, and I now I feel kind of crummy. I said "I'm sorry baby, I don't mean to.. make you.. feel inferior or question your beliefs in how the universe works... I'm just distressed." He said "I know baby, it's okay. I don't have all the answers, but nobody does. Inner peace and shit comes from within. I believe that everyone in their own way is a god (he looks at me) or goddess (and smiles) of their own body, and mind, and their own universe." I actually believe the way Lazaro thinks is very alluring. I wish to one day see the world the way he sees it, I honestly envy him sometimes.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

As we try to actually study in Study Hall we all are figedty and anxious and hoping to see Elena here so we can all forget about this and destress. I can't believe I'm actually feeling this way, but I'm hoping to see her, seeing her would be equally exciting as riding a rollercoaster right about now, but waiting and hoping to actually see her can be compared to the dreadful long line to get on the rollercoaster. Nobody really wants to talk so we just burry our faces into whatever assignment we're working on. Study Hall comes to an end and the librarian over the intercom said "Study Hall is coming to an end, but the library will be open until 8 PM for those who wish to stay." Nobody at my table said a word we all just look at each other. Quinn stands up and says "Well, maybe Elena just didn't come to Study Hall...." I said "That would be reassuring if Hannah didn't just text me fifteen minutes ago saying she never came back to the room either." Quinn said "Okay, but these two things doesn't mean she isn't okay." I said "Quinn, it's 6:30 at night! If she got caught walking around being drunk by an administrator or campus security she would've been suspended therefore she would have to take a majority of her stuff and leave campus. Everything was left behind. Hannah and I have checked the room periodically all day, and nothing of hers has even been touched. So Quinn please tell me what the fuck this could mean then?" Kyler said "Guys, lets not talk about this in the middle of the library okay? Lets go find an empty section between bookshelves and talk more quietly, shall we?" We all followed. We're on the second floor in the back left corner of the building. It's pretty evident no one comes up here when you see a condom wrapper on the floor. This section offers the most horrendously boring books, so that's good... I guess. We all sit down in a rectuangular 'circle' because an actual circle of people wouldn't fit between these shelves. Quinn begins to talk "Okay, guys, obviously something bad happened, there's no denying it at this point. We all need to be honest right now and share our stories. What we did throughout the course of last night, and where we slept. I'll start. I was drinking, I pretty much hung out with Aidon all night, we played darts, Aidon left early. I stayed at the farmhouse for about an hour after Aidon left and went to the dorms and hung out with my friend TJ, who I met in my math class, and I bought weed from him, and I chilled with him for about another thirty-five or so minutes, before walking up to my room. When I got to my room Keith was sleeping because he didn't stay longer than 2 hours at the party because he had ACT testing today, and Lacey and Lazaro were sleeping. I passed out, and I woke up this morning, Lacey and Lazaro were just coming back from the showers and Chandler was sleeping on the floor. I don't know when she got there, but it was obviously after me and I showed up there at 6:15 AM." Quinn paused and said "If someone's got something to confess now's your chance. It's only us who knows about this, so, if we got to stick together to cover something up, then that's just what we have to do." Chandler added to the story to distract from what Quinn added to the end of his storyline. At least it seemed like a distraction. I can understand why, I suppose. Did Quinn really just say we'll cover up the murder? Or was that a reverse psychology thing to see if someone actually confessed to it. Anyways, Chandler said "The part about Quinn buying weed is true and I can vouch for it, I was hanging out with my friend Cameron. TJ and Cameron are best friends and they live down the hall from each other, I saw Quinn leaving TJ's at about 6 AM so the timing fits." I added "I let Chandler into the room at 8:30, she said Cameron's friend was bothering her and that Cameron went to work, so I'm assuming she stayed at Cameron's place." Chandler added, "I did." Quinn said "Okay that pretty much sums up mine and Chandler's whereabouts as well as Keith's, Lacey's and Lazaro's. Lacey please tell us the beginning of your time line please since we know the ending of it pretty much." I said "I was pretty much floating around the party, following Lazaro around because he was drinking a lot, I wanted to be there if he happened to drink too much... Eventually he did exactly that and walked off and went upstairs to an empty room and slept on the floor. I cleaned up a little bit around the farmhouse, just the downstairs, and Chandler helped me, she also helped me carry a keg upstairs and hid it in the room Lazaro was sleeping in. We sat down on the beanbag chairs in there and talked for a little bit, woke Lazaro up, managed to get him downstairs and almost half way through we got him to actually walk on his own. Chandler brought me around to the back of the building and we snuck into a crawlspace that Cameron showed her. Pretty much after that I went directly to Lazaro's room and fell asleep... With Lazaro." Everyone began to share their timeline stories and all of them seemed legit. At least I think. I can't see any one of us being murderers. Quinn looks over at Kyler who hasn't shared his timeline yet and said ''You were the last one to see her before she disappeared bro." Before Kyler had a chance to yell I said "Actually, Hannah was. She said Elena came into the room, said she forgot her cell phone, and then left, remember?" Quinn said "Oh yeah, that's who were missing-- Hannah. She needs to share her timeline." I blurted out "This is bullshit. I honestly don't believe any of us have anything to do with her disappearace.  Maybe she just got lost in the woods, or stayed at the farmhouse because she didn't feel like walking back and thought that maybe we'd come back by now... Maybe she's just at the farmhouse freaking out waiting for one us to walk back in there.." Kyler said "No, I locked the farmhouse when I left." Lazaro said "Are you 100 percent sure? You said you were drunk." He didn't look so sure and said "I don't know man, I was fucking drunk, I don't remember." Everyone was silent and Kyler added "I don't see what that has to do with anything though because even if she was able to get back into the farmhouse because I may've been too drunk to remember to lock it, that doesn't explain why she hasn't came back all day. She would've just started heading back after she woke up." Keith added "Kyler's right. I don't think she would stay at the farmhouse all day, there's really nothing to do there, especially by yourself. It's almost 7 o'clock at night she would've been back a long time ago." Quinn said "For the sake of our sanity we should just check the farmhouse for assurance. If there is no proof that she came back to the farmhouse then there is no telling what the fuck happened to her. Then it really isn't on any of us. If a wolf or something in the woods ate her then it's just some drunk campus girl wandering in the woods. That doesn't fall on any of us.." Chandler added "She didn't just disappear into thin air, Quinn. If she was going that way the farmhouse would've been the only place to go, once you get about half a mile outside of campus it's pretty much a straight shot from there to the fence, and from the spring right next to the fence, to the farmhouse." Quinn said "Okay, but there's a lot of trees Chandler, she could've walked the wrong direction." Chandler argued "Bullshit, regardless of which way she came from or went to since leaving campus she would've still came to the fence..... She could've walked along side the fence to find the hole we cut, which is right by the spring." Quinn said "Okay, but wolves can jump fences and who the fuck else knows what else populates those woods... Bears could even be out there." Everybody went silent for a moment. I said "I'm not going back to farmhouse, giving the current circumstance that farmhouse and those woods is the last fucking place I want to be, especially at night." Kyler said "Fuck you, Lacey, if we have to go then so do you, we're all in this together." Aidon said "Fuck that dude, how are we all in this together? As far as I'm concerned you and Hannah were the last two people to see her before she went missing. You two should search the magical fucking forest for clues, fuck you." Kyler said "Aidon, don't you fucking walk away, we're all in this together because it's our party house, it was our party." Aidon said "That's such bullshit dude, a lot of people attended that party, not just us." Kyler said "It's our farmhouse though, we're going to take the fall." Aidon said "You know what, it's not our farmhouse, it's your farmhouse, you're the one who found it and furnished it. Why are you acting scared bro? You act like you have something to hide? Maybe you choked her to death while fucking her. When and if she's ever found, she's probably dead and she'll have your semen in and/or around her so go fuck yourself." Kyler said "Seems like you got the plot all figured out, huh? Me take the blame for what you did? It's easy that way since I'm the one who fucked her right?" Aidon said "BULLSHIT I left the party early, Quinn vouched for it and my dormmates can too. They'll also tell you that I didnt leave the room at all after that, not even to go to the bathroom, and by the time I got home and by the time Hannah last saw her, they conflict each other." I shouted "Can you two fucking stop it, there is no reason to sit here and blame each other for something neither of us can prove and to be completely fucking honest, you're making yourselves look guilty for being so eager to point fingers. Lets just go to the farmhouse and get this shit over with, I highly doubt we'll find anything there, it's going to be a complete waste of time and we'll be right back at square one but if it makes everyone feel better then fuck it. I know damn well that I'm not taking the fall for something I had no part of. I'm not guilty and have nothing to fucking hide so lets go."

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

We all get to the farmhouse, everyone was quiet most of the walk there. Nobody wanted to say anything. It's moments like this that I wish I could read minds. I was so eager to hear what everyone was thinking. Upon arriving to the farmhouse Quinn looks at the door, shines the flashlight at the lock, and looks back at everyone and says "It's busted." Kyler blurted out and said "SEE! If I had anything to do with this I would've just used the damn key." Aidon pitched in and said "The busted lock means nothing. Elena came back, and she didn't have a key, she probably busted the lock. You could've came back later or was already here.... Or....... That's exactly what you would've done to make it look like you didn't do it." Kyler punches Aidon in the face and Lazaro shoves Kyler to the ground and said "You two keep pointing fingers at each other and isn't going to solve shit. Both of you need to shut the fuck up. Ya'll need to think for one second. Aidon was right, we weren't the only ones at the party, there were people there last night that I've never even seen on campus before, and we even invited underclassmen party crew even though we said the youngest was sixteen. Everybody invited their friends man. Sorry Kyler, but you're a horrible host. Everybody broke the rules last night. A lot of people were showing up to the party last night after it started. So more people than just Elena didn't have a key. Anyone could've busted this lock." Lazaro added "If none of us did it, then we need to stick together because this is some serious shit. At this point who knows if she's even alive. We're dealing with a missing person that so conviently lands on our hands. This is not the time to turn against each other." Niki interrupts and said "Guys, I have a confession.." We all just look at her in shock thinking she was about to admit something in regards to Elena's disappearence. She said "I filmed the party, I had hidden cameras everywhere. I just wanted something for my own personal.... enjoyment of our first party here. I was just going to put it on my computer and then make copies for party crew." Kyler said "What the fuck does this have to do with anything?" Niki said "These cameras belonged to my mom's paranormal obsessed boyfriend. Meaning the cameras have the ability and storage to film throughout the entire course of the night....." Kyler said "And..... What are you getting at?" She said "Isn't it obvious? I got really fucking wasted and forgot to turn the cameras off or even get them and bring them back with me.... Meaning they were rolling all night, so we can figure out exactly what happend... Who walked in after Elena, or if Elena even came back." Everyone looked shocked and Quinn said "Well, then what the fuck are we waiting for?" Aidon added "We should still check out the farmhouse. Just in case something's up there that will help us and save us time." Niki said "I agree, I had a lot of cameras, so editing it all to be one video will take awhile." We all walk through the farmhouse, and as cliche as it sounds, the lights weren't working. I held on to Lazaro so fucking tightly, and I started thinking about my daddy and how I wouldn't hesitate to call him and have him bail me out of this situation right now, but unfortunately I can't do that. We all walk up the stairs and walk into the room Kyler and Elena fucked in. There's blood everywhere and of course I started screaming and I just burried my face in Lazaro's chest and everyone was too shocked to say anything until Keith said "What the fuck guys!?" Chandler said "It looks like a huge puddle formed by the closet." Keith said "Are you implying that her body is probably in the closet?" Chandler's voice cracked and said "Yeah probably." Kyler slowly walked over to the closet and opened the door, and Elena's body fell over and nearly landed on his feet. Everyone at this point was screaming, we all ran out as fast as we could, and we didn't stop until we were back on campus. We all ran to Lazaro's room and we all stayed in there. I was having a panic attack and Lazaro was trying to calm me down but it wasn't working. Everyone was freaking out and yelling at each other and Chandler yells "Stop! Everybody just fucking stop! I've known all of you for a very long time, and I don't think any one of us could've done this. Stop pointing fingers. Her body was slashed everywhere. Her phone was shoved down her fucking throat. None of us could do that. Kyler you're scared of tiny little insects, there's no way you could do that to someone. Aidon you're a sweet and tiny kid, no offense, but if you even tried I'm sure Elena would win the fight. Quinn, you're an asshole sometimes, but we all know deep down you're a good person. You've came to my rescue countless times at ungodly hours without hesitation, and I know you've done that for quite of few people in this room. All of you are the greatest people I've ever met and possess such amazing qualities. None of us have the potential to do something like this." Chandler's speech brought everyone's tone down a little bit. All you hear was deep sighs amogst everyone in the room. My breathing started functioning as normal again. Kyler then said after a long silent pause "We have to get rid of her body." Quinn said "Are you fucking kidding me?" Kyler said "I will not lose party house and go to jail for this. I know none of us did this, but whoever did was making sure we would get the blame." I said "If they made sure we would get the blame, then if we hide her body, isn't that even worse? That literally makes it look like we actually did do this and that literally puts the blame right on us." Kyler aggressively started to rub his face and said "I'm not taking the chances here! We're all in this together. We all have to help." Aidon said "Man, fuck you. Party house, and this school can suck my dick. I rather get kicked out of school than cover up a fucking horrendous murder. Who gives a shit if we lose a shitty, sketchy farmhouse in the woods? I rather lose that than practically lose my life by spending it in prison." Kyler said "I'm just looking out for all of you." Lazaro said "Okay Kyler cut the fucking bullshit. You're not looking out for any one but yourself. It's your semen that's all over her, and she was wearing your jacket that conviently wasn't slashed to shit like her body was, meaning it was put on her after she was murdered." Kyler said "Fuck you faggot! That doesn't make sense, why would I kill her in my jacket knowing that my semen is inside of her!? That's the biggest fucking set up in the world." Keith said "Guys, I can't get in trouble for this. All I need is one more mark on my record and I go to jail. The first two counts were just marijuana charges, but suspicion in murder!? Fuck that! Kyler's right. Someone is trying to set us up, we have to get rid of the body." I said "Do any of you actually hear yourselves? Someone was murdered, and we're sitting here trying to figure out a way to cover it up!? That's exactly what the murderer would do." Chandler said "Lacey... I agree, but we got to do what we got to do." Niki said "We all have to do this. Even Hannah. Someone should call her." Quinn says "I texted her five times, she hasn't responded." I started crying even harder. Chandler said, "Don't worry baby she's probably just asleep okay. We'll check on her in a little bit." Kyler opened his backpack and pulled out a gun and said, "I'm walking back to the farmhouse prepared." Lazaro said "Where the fuck did you get that? How did you sneak that in, and why do you have it?" Kyler said "Stop interrogating me. I have it because I have it, I snuck it in the way that I snuck it in. Happy, princess?" We all just kind of looked at each other and collectively agreed to not ask him about the gun and then shortly followed him out the door. We all got to the farmhouse and we walked in. Chandler and Niki grabbed the cleaning supplies from the downstairs closet and started cleaning the floors with bleach. The rest of us wrapped her body into a huge blanket. We picked her up and dropped her outside and Lazaro said "Where are we even going to put the body Kyler?" Kyler said "Every spring is connected to a river. Rivers are connected to lakes or oceans. We just have to follow the spring and find the river, the current will take her some where... else." Lazaro said "Yeah, no shit, but there's no telling where the river actually begins and where the spring ends. We could be walking forever." Kyler said "Good. The further away, the better." We all carried her body for quite sometime and then threw her body into the river after tying rope and a cylider brick to her body. We watched her drift and sink away with the current. We all went back to Lazaro's room silently and fell asleep.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

The next morning we all wake up and just sit there in awkward silence. We all walked down to get breakfast together and I said "Oh shit! None of us rememered to check on Hannah." I called her and she answered. I said "Come down to the breakfast cafe, we all need to talk." We filled Hannah in and she wasn't happy about any of this and I said "Try being apart of actually doing it, Hannah! We're telling you this because you're apart of this. We're all in this together, right Kyler?" I said condescendingly. He didn't say anything he just raised his coffee as if he was about to make a toast. Chandler said "At least it's over now right?" I said "No, it isn't teachers are going to eventually notice that she hasn't come to any classes, and they're going to report it. Then the police get involved and start questioning everyone." Kyler said "At least it'll be a missing person's investigation rather than a homicide. No body no homicide." I said "If you didn't muder her why would you care?" He said "She was wearing my jacket and had my cum inside of her. That would've made me the number one suspect." I said "Yeah, it would've. Too bad you're the one who was so eager to get rid of her body in the river. Wash away all that DNA." Kyler said "You better be fucking careful with what you say next." I said "Why? You gonna kill me too?" Then I stormed off. Sure enough a couple of days passed and after class I walk into the dorm room to find a dashingly handsome detective, probably in his late thirties, and he was looking at the picture frame I have on my dresser, he turned around and said "You must be Lacey." I just nodded and He said "I assume you know why I'm here." I said "I'm guessing it's about my roommate.?" He said "And what makes you think it's about that?" I said "it's pretty obvious. She hasn't been seen in a couple of days." He said "So why didn't you report it sooner? Why did it have to come down to teachers realizing something's wrong?" I quickly thought of a lie and said "Because I didn't think anything was wrong. When we met she explained how much she liked to party. I just assumed that's exactly what she was doing. We didn't know each other, and we barely ever talked. When she was here she'd come back late at night. When she didn't come back for awhile I assumed that she probably packed a bag or something and snuck off campus." He said "Interesting theory,  my partner suggested the same thing." Then he added "Who do you think she would've left campus with? I read her file, and she doesn't seem like the kind of person to have friends in a town like this or have time to constantly party with a GPA like hers." I said "Like I said I never really talked to her. We never had a genuine conversation. She did her thing, I did mine." He said "Okay." Then he proceeds to give me his card and said "If you hear any chit chat around school please let me know." I said "Of course." My heart sank to floor after he left. I called Hannah, but then my paranoia kicked in and thought what if they got my phone tapped I called Lazaro and told him to gather the boys, and I'll gather the girls and we'll meet in the library at the usual spot. Once we get to the library I fill everyone in with the story I gave to Detective Briggs. I said "Hannah, you're going to be the next person they question. You're her only other roommate, so stick with something along those lines but don't make it exactly the same." Kyler said "Lacey... You better not fucking crack. You either Hannah. They're going to be watching you two like prey because you were her roommates." I said "I know Kyler will you shut the fuck up?" Out of nowhere, we all receive a text at the same exact time. Everyone looks around in bewilderment. We all check our phones simultaneously. It was a video of us taken from a distance of us dumping Elena's body in the river. The text said "I know bitches." We all start panicing. Kyler said "Hannah what the fuck!?" Hannah said "Why the hell do you think I did this? I got the text too!" He said "You were the only person not there that night and you just so happen to not be responding to any texts creating the illusion that you "fell asleep."" Hannah said "Fuck you Kyler. You're so quick to point fingers at EVERY ONE, maybe you did really kill her." Kyler slapped the shit out of Hannah and Keith punched him in the face and his nose started bleeding. Hannah started crying and Lazaro comforted her with me. Kyler walked off and said "Fuck all of you." We sit Hannah up and start cleaning the blood from her lip. I look over at Lazaro and said "Please let me stay with you tonight." He said "Of course baby." Quinn said "Hannah, if you want to stay in our room tonight too you can, I have a sleeping bag you can use." The intercom said "Hannah West please report to the main office, Hannah West please report to the main office." Hannah started freaking out and said "Oh shit, what if it's the cops what if they want to question me, and now I have this big ass bloody bump on my lip." I said "Just make up something I'll stand right outside the door okay." I started to walk Hannah down but Lazaro turned me around and kissed me and said "You're a good person Lacey." I said ".... Thank you baby." As soon as Hannah and I got down there I sneakily headed for the room they placed her in. I was pretty incognito hiding my face behind this magazine, at least that's what I would like to assume. I could hear the conversation clear as day. Detective Briggs said "Hello Hannah. How did that happen?" I'm assuming he pointed to her lip and she said "Oh, a friend and I were play fighting and she accidently hit me pretty hard. It just happened like a few minutes ago actually." I said nice one, but please don't say it was me they're going to think I prepped you for this and actually punched you in the face to keep quiet... Oh my God she was really not thinking. He asked "What's your friend's name?" She said "Chandler Allen. A girl Chandler." I sighed with major relief although she sounds really nervous. You should never ask the cop questions when they're the ones questioning you. Hannah said "So what's this about?" Briggs responded "About your roommate, Elena Cauley. She hasn't been seen in a week." Hannah said "Oh yeah. I didn't really know her well at all, and I never really spent much time in the room other than to sleep. Usually she came long after I've been in bed for hours, or not at all." Hannah really is starting to use her head now. Hannah proceeded to go on with the "Elena is a big partier" story that I made up and they let her go. As I see Detective Briggs stand up and about to give Hannah his card I walk fast down the hallway to prevent from being seen. I met Hannah outside and she said "I think we're in the clear." I said "No we're not. They're still going to be watching us. So keep your cool." Hannah said "When I was walking out I heard him ask his partner to check if she had a secret boyfriend or something. They're moving on to other suspects." I said "Hannah, if they said that so you could hear it, then it was a set up to fuck with your mind to make you think the heat is off of you. Assume every step you take is being analyzed. Don't let your guard down until they're off campus, and given the current circumstance-- Don't let your guard down at all. One of us is a murderer." Then I walked away. We all meet up in the cafeteria for dinner. the rest of Party Crew that has no idea is sitting at a different table. The main crew, which is all of us, sat with each other, and excluded ourselves from our own organization. Kyler said "We should kick all those motherfuckers out." Hannah said "We should kick you out." Kyler begins to apologize and Hannah cut him off and said "I don't want to hear it." Quinn said "Guys....... Who sent the video?" Lazaro said "Good question. It's all I've been thinking about." I noticed something very perculiar. Then it hit me. I said "Guys, remember when Niki said she had all those cameras set up?" Kyler banged his fist into the table and said "Holy shit, good memory Lacey." Keith said "But she was with us that night." Kyler said "Yeah, but she didn't throw Elena's body in the river. She just so happen to "stay" upstairs and clean the floors." I can't believe I just threw my own friend under the bus but the theory fits too well that even I felt unsettled. Kyler added "Niki... Who is also conviently not here right now." Quinn added more to the thought "Who was also convienently not there when we all received the text message." Lazaro called her and she answered. He put her on speaker phone and we all gathered around to hear it. Lazaro said "Hey remember those cameras you said you had set up at party house? Did you get the videos from them yet?" Niki said "Yeah... About that.... I went back to get them and they were gone.. I didn't want to freak anyone out." Kyler said "Oh, they were gone? They just disappeared? How fucking convienent Niki. You said there were hidden, that means only you knew where they were hidden." Niki said "I'm not going to sit here and have you blame me for something I didn't do," and then she hung up. We all sat down and Keith said "Honestly, sending a text like that seems like something Niki would do. Remember when Niki was playing pranks on everyone that one Halloween, making us all think that we we're fucking with each other and she didn't confess it was all her until we all started getting mad and accusing each other?" Lazaro said "Holy shit, I remember that like it was yesterday. She even went as far as throwing a brick in Quinn's living room window with Lacey's charm bracelet around it, and even making Lacey and I think the other was cheating on each other." Quinn said "Jesus, I remember that. Tell me why we're still friends with her again..?" Keith added "See that's it. It's got to be Niki. She's gettig under our skin. She just wants to fuck with our heads. We just ignore the text like it never happened, delete it, and move on, don't even bring the text up to Niki because it'll satisfy her." Kyler said "Exactly. That's why she hasn't even brought it up. If she actually got the text too I'm sure she would've mentioned it by now." Aidon said "Niki is a little fucked up in ways like this.. Halloween being a good example, but are we really sure Niki would do something like this when an actual murder was involved? I mean that's a little twisted even for Niki." Quinn said "We're talking about a bitch who threw a brick through my window and put laxatives in your potato salad and watching us all blame each other for it, risking the break of lifelong friendships and relationships, and calling that funny." Aidon said "Good point." Lazaro sat back and said "What else did she do that Halloween?" Kyler said "She broke into my car and planted the laxatives in there making me look like the person who put it in Aidon's food." Kyler's mouth dropped wide open and said "Guys! She made me look like the culprit of the laxatives that Halloween. My jacket was on Elena's body!" Quinn said "Fuck.... You don't think Niki actually killed her do you? I mean we're talking about these sick fucked up things she likes to call jokes, but I don't think she would've actually gone as far as murdering someone just to play a "prank."" Kyler said "It's just a theory, but with all of us sticking together Niki has been the only one who's been distant and shady." I said "Niki is one of my good friends, but I agree. She has been a bit shady. She's also been starting to hang out with other people outside of crew, which isn't really that big of a deal, but it is a good front to make herself look "too busy" for us, and given the current circustance we should be sticking together." Quinn said "If you know your name is at risk for being tarnished for havng involvement in a murder and covering up a murder, how could you be too busy for anything else?" Dinner came to an end and we all went to the boy's dorm lobby, which surprisingly isn't as heavily supervised like everyone had assumed it would be. We all chilled in the dorm kitchen because it was the only place to talk in private without being crowded in the room. The next morining we all resume classes as normal, only none of us are as happy and chatty as we used to be. I see Niki in the hallway after second period and stopped her and said "Where have you been?" She said "Hanging out with my friends who don't cover up murders." My mouth dropped because I cannot believe she just said that. I stopped her and pushed her against the lockers and said "You grimely little cunt, you were there that night too don't forget that." I didn't even give her a chance to respond I immediately walked away afterwards. I told Lazaro about it and he said "What the hell is her problem?" I said "I don't know, maybe she's in denial about everything." Lazaro said "Doesn't give her a right to say some shit like that, especailly in the middle of the hallway." Right as I walked into the Humanities class which is taught by one of the creepy teachers I saw on the first night and he said "Lacey move to the front desk in the middle row. I said "Why?" He said "Because I'm the teacher and I told you to that's why." Me and Lazaro gave each other a puzzled look and Lazaro started to sit down next to me and the teacher said "Nope. Lazaro move to the back of the room." Lazaro said "What the fuck man?" He said "That's it, detention." I said "What the hell is your problem?" He said "I guess you want detention too. Both of you get out of my class and go to the AP office." As we walked out of class Lazaro said "Fuck that guy, and fuck the AP office. Lets just go back to my dorm." Lazaro and I started to fuck once we realized we we're going to be alone for a little bit, and it's been awhile since we've fucked considering all the stress we're under. Afterwards I said "Thank you." He said "For what? The sex?" I said "No. For always being there for me." He just looked at me and smiled and then I added "You should be thanking me for the sex." Then he laughed and said "I probably should because I don't feel frustrated anymore." I said "Me either actually." He laughed and said "I guess our bodies already thanked each other." I smiled really big and he kissed me. Later during study hall I told everyone what happened earlier with Niki. Kyler said "That's it. Who wants to leave campus with me and go into town? I need fresh air." We all collectively agreed that this school is making us go a litte crazy. Once we get into town we do a little shopping but there aren't many stores to choose from. "Downtown" was literally a block long. Kyler said "Hey lets go to the library and do some research on our friend Niki." I said "What do you mean?" He said "Maybe there's a lot more about her we don't know about." Once we get to the library we do as much web searching as we possibly can considering the public library computer doesn't have any school-blocks. Kyler said he can't find anything at all then I overlooked his shoulder and I said "That's because Niki isn't short for Nicole. Nicole Farrow isn't her real name." He said "Seriously? I always assumed that's what Niki is short for after all these years." I said "Yeah, I guess I'm the only one she told her real name to." Kyler said "Well, what is it?" I said "It's Nikalette, and her middle name is Summer." Lazaro said "...Nikalette Summer Farrow...?" I said "Yup, that's her." Kyler searched it up and immediately an article about a little girl who was the same age Niki was back in 2004 appeared. Apparently the little girl was omitted to a psychiatric hospital after watching her father commit suicide. Kyler said "This would explain the psychotic behavior but this little girl doesn't look like Niki." I said "It kind of does actually." He said "She has blonde hair, Niki doesn't." Lazaro added "Yeah, Niki had brown hair when we met her too." I said "Guys, hair color can change over the years, and plus, Niki's mom is a hair stylist. Coincidence? Maybe her mom created a new persona for Niki. Changed her hair and even shortened her name to "create" a new life for her after watching her dad commit suicide. I mean why else would you move from Santa Clarita, California to the small not-so-well-known town of West Chetser, Pennsylvania? Usually it's the other way around. Nobody from a city like that goes to a town like West Chester unless they're running from something." Quinn said "Damn, good point." Chandler said "Oh my God, I remember being high off shrooms one night three summers ago, and I walked in on Niki dying her hair. I said "I thought you were naturally a brunette," but after that I don't remember anything, and the next day I asked Niki what happened the night before in the bathroom, and she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about so I assumed it was the shrooms, but... I guess not.... I just now remembered because of what we're talking about." Keith said "Guys... this is getting weirder and weirder." I said "I agree." Chandler also added "Guys, I did research about Shirestown before coming here. You won't believe what I found." Kyler said "Please do share." Chandler was hesitant to speak so I spoke for her. I said "Our school was considered to be a "possessed" land by all the towns people. In 1842 when the buildings were first built it was a hospital for war vets, then it became a hospital for the mentally impaired in the 20s. Psycho serial killers were sent to this hospital. I'm talking about the psycho killers of the 1920s man, they were a lot different than the psycho killers these days. Probably much worse. They've actually hung people here too, which was an execution method that was strictly prohibited by that point, but they did it anyway. Medical files disappeared and the staff would act as if they had no idea about the patient, or that they even existed. The families of these patients who kept questioning eventually disappeared as well...... The hospital remained abandoned until the 50s when it opened up as a high school.  Not even two months into the school year teenage faces ended up on milk cartoons and newspapers because they had gone missing. The school was going to be investigated, and that same day the building burst into flames with the police inside. They left the bodies, and all the remains untouched because they considered the land to be cursed. The neighborhood where the farmhouse is, well it used to be a neighborhood, it was abandoned back in the 30s after the Shirestown Trial when they originally deemed the land as cursed. That neighborhood has been overgrown by trees and grass, houses have caved in, yet our farmhouse is still in tip top shape and fairly new. The neighborhood has been off the maps since the 30s and the only way to get to it is from inside campus. The buildings of campus remained untouched until they opened this year." Chandler said "I think we awoken something that was dormant for so many years." Kyler said "I don't believe in ghosts Chandler. I seriously doubt you two are the only ones who knew about the history of this place." I said "Then explain the farmhouse." Kyler said "Easy. It could be used for the school. I found out the electricty generator does in fact go to the school." I said "That doesn't make sense why would the school need a farmhouse?" He said "I don't know Lacey but it's the only thing that makes sense okay... Ghosts don't build houses or wire them with electricity." I said "....Good point." Chandler said "It could be a cult that's carried the tradition from their ancestors." Kyler said "Okay, but what does this have to do with Niki?" Lazaro said "What if Niki knows about the land's history and the farm house is just a coincidence? You know how Niki gets about this shit. She'll watch paranormal videos on YouTube for hours and be obsessed with telling scary stories, which isn't abnormal, but she freaks out when nobody else wants to tell scary stories the minute she does." Quinn said "Holy fuck! Remember that one year at camp when we all shared the same cabin, and Niki told the story about a little girl living on her own in the woods after her dad died? Which now that I think about it, that is really too coincidental." Kyler said "Okay, this is getting way too fucking weird now and how do you remember that?" Quinn said "Now that we're actually digging up the past I'm remembering all this shit. Of course everything back then was overlooked because we weren't looking at it in a prespective like this." The librarian snuck up behind us and we all jumped and screamed and she said "The library is closed now." Kyler said "It's 2:00...? The sign says it closes at 6:00." She said in the same monotone voice "The library is closed now." We all just look bewildered but weren't going to fight it and left as fast as we could. We didn't see Niki at dinner which was beginning to be a usual thing. Kyler said "I'm exhausted from playing Scooby Doo and The Mystery Gang man. I just want shit to go back to normal." Quinn said "Maybe we should've just called the police." Kyler said "I'm beginning to think we should've too, but now it's too late. We can't undo what we did." Lazaro whispered in my ear and said "Come to my dorm tonight I don't want you in there." I said "You don't even have to tell me twice."

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

The next day, Niki's roommates reported her missing. The school was on a campus wide curfew and there were police everywhere. We weren't even allowed to leave campus during the day anymore. We met up in the courtyard and said "Do you think Niki is actually missing or do you think she's making herself look as if she's not apart of this." Kyler said "Probably." Well, at least Thanksgiving break is next week. We all get to go home." Chandler said. A few days later on Friday evening the school was gradually becoming empty. As I walked into my room with Lazaro I see two older people crying, and packing Elena's things into boxes. Obviously I'm assuming it was her parents. Lazaro said "Did they find her?" Her parents turned around and said "No, they called off the search and deemed her dead." Her mom walked over to me and said through her tears "How do you not know what happened to her, you're her roommate you must know something!" Then she ran out of the room crying and her husband said "I apologize for my wife, this is obviously a hard time for us. Elena was our only child." He walked out to go find his wife and I looked over at Lazaro and started to cry. I couldn't even imagine if that was my father gathering my things like that. As soon as we get back home the first thing I do is run up to my father and hug him and I just started balling my eyes out. He said "Well, you clearly missed me." I playfully, but also seriously punched him in the chest, which is rock hard and muscular, so I really only hurt my hand in the process and my dad started chuckling and said "Wow, ow, that hurt so much." He couldn't tell that I was truly upset about something at first but when we got into the house, he sat next to me on the couch and said "Is everything okay?" As soon as I was about to speak Lazaro came downstairs and said he was going to go home for a little bit to see his mom and his family, and I hugged and kissed him goodbye and he said "I'll be back in a few hours, don't worry." Then he looked over to my dad and said "See you later." Before my dad could attempt to continue the conversation I said "I'm going upstairs to take a nap, I missed my bed so much." He responded with "I cleaned the sheets, and even washed the shirt you make that teddy bear wear." I laughed and said "That's his favorite shirt." My father laughed as well and said "Aren't you a little too old for teddy bears now Lacey?" I was four steps up at this point, but I walked back down towards the kitchen and said "No. I'll never be too old for that teddy bear. You gave me that teddy bear, and it was even yours as a kid." He smiled and said "I was just messing with you, kiddo." I was just about to drift off into a deep sleep but then I jumped up because I suddenly remembered Elena, and Niki. I walked back downstairs, and my dad was on the couch. I sat down next to him and he said in a heavily sarcastic tone "Wow, why did you nap for so long?" I said "Did you hear about anything that's happened at my school, like on the news or anything?" He said "No..... Why? Was your school on the news or something?" I looked shocked and said "You didn't hear about the girl that went missing?" He said "Holy shit. No." I loooked down at my teddy bear and said "She was my roommate." He said "Jesus Christ Lacey, is this why you're so upset?" I said "Yeah, I mean, I didn't really know her at all we never talked much, but today I saw her parents packing up her stuff, and they were crying, and apparently the police called off the search. I just couldn't imagine if that was you packing up my stuff and not knowing what happened to me." He looked at me and said "Lacey, I don't know what I would do either, but I'm thanking the universe right now that it wasn't. You have a lot of friends who go there you should be fine. Just be careful and do what I always taught you."  I said to myself you never taught me how to cover up a murder or how I should feel about it afterwards. I suddenly get a text message and looked down at my phone, and it was a group message from a blocked number. It had Lazaro, Quinn, Kyler, Chandler, Aidon, Hannah, and Keith inside the group message and it said "How sweet. Lacey misses her daddy. Tell that bitch not to ask to be home schooled or I'll light the bitch on fire." My dad looks over at me and says "Was that Lazaro? When's he coming back I want to know when to lock the door." I said "It's okay, I'll take care of it." He said "Alright." Then he stood up, kissed the top of my head and said "Goodnight." After he walked upstairs I started sobbing. I threw my face into one of the couch pillows. Lazaro called my phone and he said "Hey baby, I'm almost there. Did you see the group text?" I said through my tears "Yes." He said "It's going to be okay baby, I'll be there in just a few minutes." A knock appeared at the door and I opened it expecting Lazaro, but it was Quinn and Chandler. I said "Guys, my dad was only expecting Lazaro to stay the night." Quinn said "I don't care man, did you not see that text? We're not leaving you alone." Later the whole crew showed up and we sat in my room all night without being able to sleep. I said "Guys I'm really fucking scared. This person knows entirely too much. I thought it would stop now that we're not at school, but it's still going. How could that person know my dad said I could be homeschooled if I wanted if I could last until Thanksgiving break? He didn't say that over the phone or anything and he said it before the first day of school." Kyler said "It has to be Niki, Lacey." I said "She didn't even know my dad said that. How would anyone fucking know that besides me and my dad? I think you're right Kyler someone set us specifically up. They had to have been watching us before we even got to school." Lazaro said "Lacey, please. I think you're overreacting. Giving everything that's happened it would be common sense to want to be homeschooled. It was probably just a coincidence." I burried my face into my pillow and said to myself "I really hope so." Chandler said "Guys, my mom didn't even know a girl from our school went missing. It's like they're trying to cover it up or something." I said "Yeah, my dad didn't know either." Quinn said "It makes sense, right? Giving the history of the land I would want to keep it a secret too if I were them. The whole "the land is possessed" theory would be re-awaken and the school would be shut down. Only the local area knows about Elena and Niki. It's weird too because I went by Niki's house just to see her mom and talk to her considering Niki is quote on quote "missing," but there was mail stacked up by the front door. Newspapers from September. It's like her mom disappeared into thin air too." Keith who showed up later through my window, said "Is anyone else starting to see a pattern here? Someone dies when Niki's around, and then her and her mother flee to cover it up. That's if the article we read was actually about Niki, which at this point I'm not doubting it."

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

It's Thanksgiving, and my dad and I joined Lazaro's family since we don't really have much of our own. A couple hours into the get together the same unknown number from the group text a couple days ago texted us again. It said "Gobble Gobble bitches. I'm thankful for you guys as my own personal dolls, that I now control. What are you guys thankful for? Xoxo" I looked up at Lazaro across the table who read the text and finished at the same time I did, and we both had a shocked expression on our face. After dinner the crew met up at our old meet-up spot, under the bridge at Falcon Park. Lazaro said "This is bullshit. This is has gone on way too long. We need to find Niki and confront her, this isn't funny anymore." Kyler said "I just don't see why Niki would do this." A couple of days went by and it was time to go back to school. By the time we pull up to the school we see ambulence's and police cars everywhere. I look over at Lazaro very puzzled and then we see Quinn getting out of the car running up to his friend TJ who was already here and standing outside. I see them talking for a little bit and Quinn began to grow pale. He walked back up to Lazaro's car and said "Drive to the diner in town we all need to talk." In the rearview mirror I see him tell the rest of the party crew car by car, then he gets back into his own and follows. We all anxiously sit into the biggest booth the diner provided and Quinn said to one of the waitresses "We're all going to need coffee." I couldn't take it anymore and said "Quinn, what the fuck is happening?" Quinn sat down and said "There was a dead body mutualated in the main courtyard. It's been there for a couple days." I said "Who was it?" Quinn paused as the waitress was serving us all coffees and creamers when she walked off he sipped his black coffee and said "Niki. It was Niki. She's apparently been dead since Wednesday night." Lazaro said "That means she didn't send the text on Thanksgiving. That means who the fuck did then?" Keith said "I honestly felt safer when I thought it was Niki fucking with us. Now it could literally be anybody, and they're obviously not done killing." Kyler added "Or fucking with us." I said "That means someone we don't even know, knows what we did." The crew sat in silence and we all got a really unsettled feeling. I could tell just by looking at everyone's faces. We all drove back to the school a couple hours and six rounds of coffee later, and the police and ambulences were gone as if it never even happened. We walked to the main courtyard that was still caution taped off. I felt uneasy because I was looking at the place a very good friend of mine was decapitated, and torn apart limb from limb. Even with her twisted sense of humor and awful past she was a great friend. Giving the current circumstance it's safe to say she wasn't the one sending us those text messages. We all knew it, but nobody wanted to admit they were wrong, because that just means we'd have to think about who it could possibly be and we had no idea who to put on the suspect board. Lazaro could tell I was feeling really uneasy so he touched my lower back and said "Baby are you okay?" I couldn't say anything before the feeling turned into an urge, and I ran over to the bushes and threw up. Lazaro came over with me and held my hair and comforted me when I was done. I began crying and just put my head in his lap. A few days go by and Hannah, Chandler, and I go to Niki's room. We know Niki's mom is M.I.A. so no one would come get her stuff. Probably a horrible thing to do, but we wanted to rummage through her stuff before the school just threw it all away. Besides, some of it really is memories she's shared with us. Can't just throw something like that away. I see Chandler and Hannah looking through her personal belongings and I'm hacking her laptop to get passed the password. I guess Chandler saw me do it and she said "Woaaaaaaah. How'd you do that?" Hannah said "Lacey's been hacking shit forever. Literally since we were little kids she would hack people's MySpace accounts." I said "You're making me sound like a criminal." Then I giggled and added "It's a good skill to have especially in times like this." However I couldn't find a single thing on her laptop upon officially accessing it. The whole computer was wiped clean, and I thought that was very suspicious and strange and so did Hannah, and Chandler. I put the computer through a recovering process and only a few things resurfaced. Mostly just pictures from a camping trip we all took back a few years ago. Everything was so simple then and we were all so happpy and young. I transfered those pictures to an SD card and gave up on the computer when there was no dirty evidence to be found, or at least recovered. I look around at some of her jewelry and photos. She had one of me and her from that camping trip and it's my favorite picture of us. Back then Niki was a great friend, not a suspected psychopath. It kind of upsets me how we all threw her under the bus so fast just to make us feel safer and content with the situation. None of us ever gave Niki the chance to defend herself. Then again, she didn't exactly make it so easy for us to do so anyway, she tried to avoid us the best she could. Chandler sat down on her bed and said "It's weird touching her stuff knowing she isn't here anymore." I was beginning to agree and Hannah walks out of the closet wearing her clothes. I said "Hannah, what the fuck? That's not a very good image. Just walking around in the dead girl's clothes. Lets make us look even more suspicious." Hannah said "Well, I don't have very many clothes. Haven't you wondered why I've been borrowing yours all the time? My mom sold my clothes at a yard sale for drug money when I was away at camp. I literally own three weeks worth of camp clothes."  I said "I honestly never thought anything wrong by you borrowing my clothes. You and I always shared each other's clothes. I'm sorry Hannah." She said "It's fine. I just didn't want to admit it. So would it be really bad if I took some of her clothes?" Chandler said "Well, it's not like the cops are gonna know that's Niki's clothes. Just don't take all of them, that'll look weird." I agreed with Chandler and Hannah said "Well, what about the others? What if they notice I'm in Niki's clothes? I don't want them to start suspecting me of anything." I said "Just tell the truth. You know none of them is going to judge you. We all know how your mom can be." Everyone was back at school but giving the tragedy classes were canceled for a few days, but the library was open until 3 AM for studying. We all met late that night around midnight in the library to actually talk about Niki. Quinn said "Even though she broke my living room window, I'll miss the girl." We were all pretty much quiet and Kyler lit a blunt and said "This is for you, Niki." Lazaro said "Are you an idiot? Don't smoke that in here." Kyler said "Relax, I do this all the time." I whispered in Lazaro's ear and said "I still want to sleep next to you." He said "I wouldn't blame you..... I'm a cuddling god." I started to smile but giving my current stress about everything I wasn't really in the joking mood. It was like a heavy dark cloud of negativity was following me and the weight of the world was sitting on my chest making it hard to breathe. Quinn said "It's weird how much this school seems to keep people in more so than the people it keeps out." Keith looked puzzled and said "What are you saying?" Quinn said "We all have cars, we all could just simply pack them up and never come back, but ever since Elena the school has been on lockdown which is understandable, but they won't let us out to even go into town but anybody can just show up. They let anybody in. It's just fucking weird. It's like they're protecting the outsiders from us, and not protecting us from the outsiders." Lazaro said "Everything about this school is starting to get really whack. I knew this place sounded too good to be true."

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

After the bell rang for humanities class the teacher called my name and said "Lacey, come here." I walked over puzzled and said "Is this about my paper? You gave me a grace period since Niki was my friend." He said "No this isn't about your paper, but it is about the class assignment you turned in yesterday." I said "Okay, what about it?" He said "You didn't get a good grade on it." I said "No kidding. I wonder why? Kind of hard to fit in studying while dodging a murderer on campus." The teacher clearly didn't appreciate my dark sarcastic remark. However, he said, "I can understand that and that is why I'm setting you up with a tutor. Schedule tutoring that way you're forced to have study breaks." I said "Gee thanks." Then walked out. I was fine with the tutoring. It wouldn't hurt. As long as he wasn't my tutor I'd be fine. I met up with Lazaro in the courtyard who surprised me with flowers. He said "I know you said you didn't want a party or gifts or anything, because of everything that's happened, but happy birthday." I said "Thank you. But it's going to be hard for these things to get any sun with the January clouds." He said "It's alrght. Not worried about the flowers. Just you." I said "I'm okay. Just taking it day by day." Lazaro said "It's been two months since the last text and murder. Maybe this whack job found other people to terroize, or killed themselves, or died some other way. A whack job like that has to have a lot of people wanting to kill them or arrest them." I said "I feel it in my gut. It's not over. This person wants us to pay." Lazaro said "Jesus, Lacey. Don't say that shit." I said "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He said "It's okay. Just come back to my dorm with me, we'll make shitty cup of noodles for dinner and watch movies." I smiled and said "I would love that." On the way back to Lazaro's room we walk past Kyler who we haven't really associated with since early December-- his choice. He grew distant from us. In fact, the whole crew seemed to be distancing themselves. Me and Lazaro are really the only ones who really have stuck together. We all still talk we just don't hang out as much. We all either joined a sports team, or some kind of club to occupy our time as a valid excuse to really not associate with each other. That was never explicitly said by anyone, but it was pretty evident. It also helped distract us from Elena and Niki and the secret filmmaker who gets off on fucking with us. Lazaro started the talking and said "Hey man." Kyler said "Sup?" Lazaro said "Wanna hang out later? Just a low key thing in my dorm for Lacey's birthday." He said "Nah, I have weight training tonight for boxing. There's a meet this weekend." Lazaro said "Alright. Some other time then." I said "Shit, that reminds me. I have to go to tutoring tonight otherwise I get kicked off the swim team." Lazaro said "Tutoring? Since when?" I said "Dickhead humanities teacher signed me up for it because I got a D on our assignment I need to raise that D otherwise I get kicked out and/or benched and there's a meet next weekend." Lazaro said "You'll raise that D but is the swim team really the reason you're worried." I said "It clears my head." He didn't say anything, he just sighed heavily and said "Here, take some cash and get some snacks from the vending machine at least." I said "I'm sorry, baby. I would love to cuddle with you and watch shitty movies all night." He said "Yeah, me too." Then he walked off without even giving me a kiss. I know I've been acting distant lately, but can you blame me? Everyone seems to have forgotten. Either that or they're a lot better at pretending it never happened as opposed to me. How can you just forget being framed for murder, being filmed dumping a body, and having one of your best friends decapitated. At least I didn't have to see her body like Elena's. I think that really would've destroyed every ounce of composure I have left. A week goes by and Lazaro and I haven't really talked. I haven't slept in his room and he hasn't slept in mine. During the swim meet I saw him in the bleachers. That made me profoundly estatic. It made me realize that he's the only one really there for me. I need to be there for him as much as he is for me. After all, he went through everything I did too. We need each other now more than ever.

[makadelikz]

the girl next door 12/14/2016

The Girl Next Door ♥ CHAPTER ONE:

The sound of moving trucks awoke Leon from his sleep. He gazes out the window with a frowned and restless face, and sees two big Uhaul trucks next door at the house that's been abandoned for six months. The last people who lived there just seemingly disappeared and Leon's curiousity grew because he never recalled seeing 'for sale' signs putting the house on the market for any new owners, and why would the previous owners who just up and vanished be moving stuff back into their house when they never took anything with them in the first place? However, his greatest concern at the moment was the loud Uhaul truckers waking him up so early, but he shortly realized he can't exactly be angry when he looked at the time -- 2:30 PM. Leon walks away from the window and hops in the shower, and afterwards sits on his bed, pulls out a black tray and begins to break a nug to roll a blunt. His roommate, and friend, Vince knocked on the door, but barged in anyway, realized he was about to smoke a blunt and joined him. Vince said "Did you see that someone is moving into the mysterious house next door?" Leon responds "Yeah, woke my ass up." Vince condenscendingly, but in a jokingly manner said "That's what you get for living in the attic. You can hear everything outside through these windows. I sleep like a baby in my room." Leon jabs back and said "No, you sleep like a baby after your daily six pack." Leon knew Vince was just being his usual self, with the disdainful remarks, but he ultimately knew that Vince means no harm. Vince is a straight-up guy. If he didn't like you he would tell you, and tell you exactly why he doesn't like you. He's not a fake chit-chat kind of guy. Vince sometimes doens't take the jabs as well as he throws them out though and responded with "Fuck you, I don't get drunk everyday and you know I'm fucking right." Leon responds in a tone as if he's sarcastically agreeing with him just to get him to be quiet about the topic, but Leon did know that he was right about the windows. He then added "But I was the last pick of the batch, it's not like I had much of a choice. It was the attic or the streets." Vince lowers his head and realized that he may've hit a soft spot for Leon, but then proceeds to walk out the room anyway shouting "See you tonight for the race," while running down the attic stairs. The attic was renovated and turned into a bedroom specifically for Leon. So the windows aren't meant to dillute as much sound as one of the bedroom windows considering the attic, like any ordinary attic, is generally used for storage, or not used at all.  Leon was happy to have a place to call home, whether he slept in the attic or in the shed out back. A home isn't really something he's used to having up until now. Now all Leon needs is to get used to opening up to people more. As 5:00 rolls around the other housemates get home from their daily lives of blending into the societal norm only to prep for a night filled with illicit activites. It's mostly their participation in the underground street racing world, that the leader of this house and crew practically invented in this area. His name is Dominic Toretto and he refers to his crew as family. He's very selective about who he trusts and even more so about who he lets in his direct crew. Dominic's right hand man is Vince Scaletta who is the hard-headed, quick-tempered one of the batch. Complete opposite of Dom's calm, level-headed way of thinking, and wise decision making. However, Vince is extremely loyal and trustworthy. He doesn't give much of a damn about anyone or anything at all, but if he does care about you, then you mean the world to him. Vince and Dom have been lifelong friends since the third grade. Way before the corrupt street life played a hand in anything. The most 'innocent' one of the crew is Mia, Dom's sister. She keeps the crew in check. She doesn't exactly participate in the charlatan activites of the crew because she doesn't agree with much of it. However, she is very aware of it all and just turns the other cheek. Her major role of the crew is the front of running the Toretto Cafe. It makes it appear as if all the family income comes fromt the family owned businesses rather than the illegal heists and street races. Then there's Letty Ortiz. She's Dom's girlfriend and they've known each other since junior high. They grew up together, always sneaking out and going to their own little drag races. That was back when they raced just for the fun of it rather than street cred. However, that's where this whole gig began. That just leaves Jesse Green and Leon Morgan, who unlike the rest of the crew, do not have significant amount of history with Dom. They come from different parts of the world and have their own histories. However, Dom saw something in them to give them a chance and he clearly trusts them with his life otherwise they wouldn't be apart of the crew and would've never moved in. Jesse is the smart techie of the crew. He has a history of hacking computers and high-tech security systems, among other things. He turned his hobby into designing mods for street racing cars and he knows his way around an engiene like the back of his hand and that was obviously his guaranteed initiation. However, he has the sweetest personality and honestly wouldn't hurt a fly, which makes him different from the rest of the crew by far. He isn't a very physical person and generally avoids confrontation. Jesse's first run-in with the crew was by accident when he was running into the garage, pleading for help, running from a group of people who basically wanted him dead. Still nobody knows exactly why they were after him. To Jesse's luck, Dom is highly respected in the streets, especially on his turf and they backed down with their tails between their legs. Jesse doesn't appear to be anyone who would be apart of this life, his appearance says cliche stoner kid who plays too much video games but he wasn't running from a group of people who wanted him dead for no reason. Finally that just leaves Leon who just happened to cross paths with Toretto unintentionally. He was making bets on drag races at Race Wars, which is the legal monthly event founded by Toretto. Leon was making bets without knowing that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd and the racers, but the thing that makes this event legal is that it bans gambling. So as a result, Leon assumed he was the only one amongst the crowd making bets, but illegal activity is not out of his norm. Dom found out he made a pretty huge bet on him to win so he confronted Leon and asked "Why'd you place so much money down? What made you $800 dollars sure that I was going to win? That's a lot of money to throw down on a ten second race." Leon bluntly responded "Because muscle always beats import." Just that response alone and Dom was interested in getting to know Leon. He found out Leon was homeless and made an income off selling drugs and making bets. Dom took him in immediately but Leon having this enigma and not very open with talking about his past or himself in general he really had to work for Toretto's trust, which he ineviatebly got.

CHAPTER TWO:

After the race, which of course Dom won, the crew heads home to celebrate like they normally do. Leon stayed outside to smoke a blunt by himself. But just as he was about to spark it he noticed a very young and beautiful girl at the mysterious, Uhaul truck, house next door. Leon stares in awe at her beauty and with curiousity as she seems to be alone. Instead of sparking the blunt he sparks up the courage to go talk to her and introduces himself and says "Hey. I'm Leon. I live next door." The girl is a bit startled and hesitates to respond. Perhaps it was because she wasn't expecting to be approached in a new neighborhood, especially at eleven o'clock at night. Leon notices that she was a bit startled and said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just saw you were moving boxes all by yourself and figured I could lend a hand." The girl said "It's okay I'm not frightened. Just wasn't expecting to be spoken too since I don't know anyone here." Then she let out an innocent laugh. She continued and said "My name is Lacey, by the way, and I appreaciate the offer, but I only have a few boxes left and they're quite small and I wouldn't want to waste your time." She pointed to Leon's house with cars piling up outside and said "Besides, they might be looking for you." Leon said "They're not worried about me, and it's no problem. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask; and I literally mean anything... I work on cars, electrical stuff, plumbing stuff. I'm very handy." Lacey says "That's actually really good to know, thank you." She smiles so brightly even in the dark of night.  Leon almost doesn't want to walk away, he wants to continue talking to her, but he knows he has to go home now. He knows that if he tries to overstay his welcome Lacey might feel off about him. He said "Well, goodnight and welcome to the neighborhood." She said in a soft and gentle voice "Goodnight." When Leon gets back to his house he heads for his room, ignoring the crowd which is not unusual for him to do, but before he could make it to his room Vince stopped him and asked "Where you going twinkle toes?" It was a gay joke implying that's what Leon is for not wanting to party. Leon responds short and blunt and said "To my room."Come on, have one beer. There's all kinds of hot chicks here too. Maybe you'll walk up to your attic with a girl in your arm for once." Leon said "Nah, I'm good. I'm tired." Vince shouts "Come on dude, when's the last time you even got laid?" As Leon continues to walk away he shouts "None of your business, Vince." With Vince knowing he wasn't going to break through Leon tonight he casually retreats back to the party. Leon lays in bed as the faint party sounds surround him. It's not that he's anti-social it's just that the party scenes aren't necessarily his thing. As he tries to ignore the sounds of a large crowd his mind drifts off to Lacey, next door. He doesn't seem to understand why he can't get her off his mind. He's been with tons of girls socially and sexually before, but not one has every stayed on his mind for too long after the encounter. But this girl, he actually had to muster up the courage to just introduce himself. At this point he assumed that it must be the blunt he eventually got to smoking that's affecting his thought process and he decides that he will sleep it off and the thoughts will go away.

CHAPTER THREE:

The next afternoon Leon wakes up peacefully. This time there were no loud Uhaul truckers yelling and making a ton of noise. This time there was no Vince barging in and making himself comfortable. He rolls out of bed ad continues to go about his daily routine. As he's driving to clock in at his normal job at Torretto's Garage as a mechanic he involuntarily glances at the house next door as it's nearly impossible to overlook. Every thought about the girl next door had almost slipped his mind until now. Leon found himself thinking about her the whole drive to work. Leon thought about all kinds of things this time -- not just about her smile and looks. This time he wondered what her day-to-day life is like, what she does for a living, and how she lives by herself when she appears to be too young to be a homeowner. Usually girls Lacey's age were renting shitty apartments or living with their parents while they attend college. Leon estimated her age to be around twenty since it was nearly impossible by her looks for her to be any older. Leon still found himself wondering about the mysterious girl next door even when distracted by brake jobs, tune-ups, and annoying, pestering customers who felt the need to stand over Leon's back and watch him work on their cars as if they didn't trust him to do his job correctly. Jesse comes up to Leon on his break and sparked conversation about the hosue next door, how convenient.  He said "Did you realize someone lives in that creepy house next door now?" Leon tries to act like the girl next door hasn't been on his mind at all but he can't think of a response fast enough and just said "I know." Those words still keep him under the radar. Jesse said "I wonder who else lives there with her?" Leon said "I think she's just by herself. She's the only one I've seen." Jesse shot him a bewildered look and said "Well, I guess, but highly unlikely." Now Leon is the one puzzled and asked "How is it highly unlikely?" Jesse responded "How many high schoolers you know own their own house?" Leon was shocked and said "Woah. What do you mean high school? How do you know she's in high school?" Jesse said "Gees, dude, relax, and because she was wearing a uniform and carrying a backpack..." Leon drops the topic and is now actually pretty bummed. He knew she looked pretty young but given the circumstance, the possibility of her being in high school never crossed his mind. As Leon is drivig back home for a low-key night he notices the girl next door sitting on her porch. He tries to ignore her given the new-found information and it worked for the few split seconds he was pulling into the driveway. He was going to walk for the door without saying anything but the girl waved at him and all his compusure seemed to slip through the palm of his hands like sand. He waved back and walked over to her. As he was approaching he smelt something he was all too familiar with-- marijuana. He approached the porch and she asked "Wanna hit?" Leon just shook his head as she passes him the blunt. Lacey looked up to him and said "Well, are you going to sit down?" So Leon proceeds to sit next to her and she noticed the mechanic jumpsuit and asked one of those questions that she already knew the answer too, but asked it simply for the purpose of sparking conversations. "You work on cars too?" Leon responded with "Yup. Told you, I'm pretty handy." He looks at Lacey and notices her high school uniform: plaid skirt, white button-up shirt, and a tie. He asked "So, you're in hgih school?" Lacey responded in a disappointed tone and said "Yeah. I failed a grade. I was supposed to graduate last year. So now I have to go to this "high-end secondary school" to catch up on credits and graduate. I should be done in one semester." Hearing this made Leon feel so much better but he had to ask for reassurance. "So how old are you?" She responds "I'm eighteen, I'll be nineteen in January." Leon just seemed to shake his head with comfort now as he slightly grins. Lacey asked "How old are you?" Leon said "I'm twenty-one. I'll be twenty-two next month in November." Just as Leon was about to het behind the mystery of the house she was living in he heard Vince yell for him next door and Lacey said "I guess your crufew's up.'' Leon laughed because he could tell she was just joking and he said "Talk to you later." He glanced back one more time to see her smile. As he gets back to his yard him and Vince walk up to the house together and Vince sits on the couch and said "Careful bro." Leon was confused and said "With what?" Vince said "The girl next door. She's like twelve." Leon looked at him with a pissed off "mind your own business" kind of expression and said "She's eighteen." Vince asked in a smart ass tone "Oh, is that what she told you?" Leon ignored him and Vince said "All I'm saying is that she's wearing a school uniform and that doesn't look right. Unless you want to register your name and alert the neighborhood with a red dot for the rest of your life, I suggest you fuck some chick that comes to our parties." Leon said "Fuck off. She said said she was eighteen." Vince let out a huge laugh and said "Yeah, I was messing with this one girl for a couple hours once. I met her at a party in Glendale. Just as we were about to fuck she asked if I could give her a ride to school the next day.... She lied to me, but if I would've fucked her my ass would've been the one in trouble. Just be careful man. That's all I'm saying."

[makadelikz]

the girl next door 12/7/2016

The Girl Next Door ♥ CHAPTER ONE:

The sound of moving trucks awoke Leon from his sleep. He gazes out the window with a frowned and restless face, and sees two big Uhaul trucks next door at the house that's been abandoned for six months. The last people who lived there just seemingly disappeared and Leon's curiousity grew because he never recalled seeing 'for sale' signs putting the house on the market for any new owners, and why would the previous owners who just up and vanished be moving stuff back into their house when they never took anything with them in the first place? However, his greatest concern at the moment was the loud Uhaul truckers waking him up so early, but he shortly realized he can't exactly be angry when he looked at the time -- 2:30 PM. Leon walks away from the window and hops in the shower, and afterwards sits on his bed, pulls out a black tray and begins to break a nug to roll a blunt. His roommate, and friend, Vince knocked on the door, but barged in anyway and joined him. Vince said "Did you see that someone is moving into the mysterious house next door?" Leon responds "Yeah, woke my ass up." Vince condenscendingly, but in a jokingly manner said "That's what you get for living in the attic. You can hear everything outside through these windows. I sleep like a baby in my room." Leon jabs back and said "No, you sleep like a baby after your daily six pack." Leon knew Vince was just being his usual self, with the disdainful remarks, but he ultimately knew that Vince means no harm. Vince is a straight-up guy. If he didn't like you he would tell you, and tell you exactly why he doesn't like you. He's not a fake chit-chat kind of guy. Vince sometimes doens't take the jabs as well as he throws them out though and responded with "Fuck you, I don't get drunk everyday and you know I'm fucking right." Leon responds in a tone as if he's sarcastically agreeing with him just to get him to be quiet about the topic, but Leon did know that he was right about the windows. He then added "But I was the last pick of the batch, it's not like I had much of a choice. It was the attic or the streets." Vince lowers his head and realized that he may've hit a soft spot for Leon, but then proceeds to walk out the room anyway shouting "See you tonight for the race," while running down the attic stairs. The attic was renovated and turned into a bedroom specifically for Leon. So the windows aren't meant to dillute as much sound as one of the bedroom windows considering the attic, like any ordinary attic, is generally used for storage, or not used at all.  Leon was happy to have a place to call home, whether he slept in the attic or in the shed out back. A home isn't really something he's used to having up until now. Now all Leon needs is to get used to opening up to people more. As 5:00 rolls around the other housemates get home from their daily lives of blending into the societal norm only to prep for a night filled with illicit activites. It's mostly their participation in the underground street racing world, that the leader of this house and crew practically invented in this area. His name is Dominic Torretto and he refers to his crew as family. He's very selective about who he trusts and even more so about who he lets in his direct crew. Dominic's right hand man is Vince Scaletta who is the hard-headed, quick-tempered on of the batch. Complete opposite of Dom's calm, level-headed way of thinking, and wise decision making. However, Vince is extremely loyal and trustworthy. He doesn't give much of a damn about anyone or anything at all, but if he does care about you, then you mean the world to him. Vince and Dom have been lifelong friends since the third grade. Way before the corrupt street life played a hand in anything. The most 'innocent' one of the crew is Mia, Dom's sister. She keeps the crew in check. She doesn't exactly participate in the charlatan activites of the crew because she doesn't agree with much of it. However, she is very aware of it all and just turns the other cheek. Her major role of the crew is the front of running the Torretto Cafe. It makes it appear as if all the family income comes fromt he family owned businesses rather than the illegal heists and street races. Then there's Letty Ortiz. She's Dom's girlfriend and they've known each other since junior high. They grew up together, always sneaking out and going to their own little drag races. That was back when they raced just for the fun of it rather than street cred. However, that's where this whole gig began. That just leaves Jesse Green and Leon Morgan, who unlike the rest of the crew, do not have significant amount of history with Dom. They come from different parts of the world and have their own histories. However, Dom saw something in them to give them a chance and he clearly trusts them with his life otherwise they wouldn't be apart of the crew and would've never moved in. Jesse is the smart techie of the crew. He has a history of hacking computers and high-tech security systems, among other things. He turned his hobby into designing mods for street racing cars and he knows his way around an engiene like the back of his hand and that was obviously his guaranteed initiation. However, he has the sweetest personality and honestly wouldn't hurt a fly, which makes him different from the rest of the crew by far. He isn't a very physical person and generally avoids confrontation. Jesse's first run-in with the crew was by accident when he was running into the garage, pleading for help, running from a group of people who basically wanted him dead. Still nobody knows exactly why they were after him. To Jesse's luck, Dom is highly respected in the streets, especially on his turf and they backed down with their tails between their legs. Jesse doesn't appear to be anyone who would be apart of this life, his appearance says cliche stoner kid who plays too much video games but he wasn't running from a group of people who wanted him dead for no reason. Finally that just leaves Leon who just happened to cross paths with Torretto unintentionally. He was making bets on drag races at Race Wars, which is the legal monthly event founded by Torretto. Leon was making bets without knowing that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd and the racers, but the thing that makes this event legal is that it bans gambling. So, Leon assumed he was the only one amongst the crowd making bets, but illegal activity is not of his norm. Dom found out he made a pretty huge bet on him to win so he confronted Leon and asked "Why'd you place so much money down? What made you $800 dollars sure that I was going to win? That's a lot of money to throw down on a ten second race." Leon bluntly responded "Because muscle always beat import." Just that response alone and Dom was interested in getting to know Leon. He found out Leon was homeless and made an income off selling drugs and making bets. Dom took him in immediately but Leon having this enigma vibe and not very open with talking about his past or himself in general and Leon realy had to work for his trust, which he ineviatebly did.

CHAPTER TWO:

After the race, which of course Dom won, the crew heads home to celebrate like they normally do. Leon stayed outside to smoke a blunt by himself. But just as he was about to spark it he noticed a very young and beautiful girl at the mysterious, Uhaul truck, house next door. Leon stares in awe at her beauty and with curiousity as she seems to be alone. Instead of sparking the blunt he sparks up the courage to go talk to her and introduces himself and says "Hey. I'm Leon. I live next door." The girl is a bit startled and hesitates to respond. Perhaps it was because she wasn't expecting to be approached in a new neighborhood, especially at eleven o'clock at night. Leon notices that she was a bit startled and said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just saw you were moving boxes all by yourself and figured I could lend a hand." The girl said "It's okay I'm not frightened. Just wasn't expecting to be spoken too since I don't know anyone here." Then she let out an innocent laugh. She continued and said "My name is Lacey, by the way, and I appreaciate the offer, but I only have a few boxes left and I wouldn't want to waste  your time." She pointed to Leon's house with cars piling up outside and said "Besides, they might be looking for you." Leon said "They're not worried about me, and it's no problem. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask ; and I literally mean anything... I work on cars, electrical stuff, plumbing stuff. I'm very handy." Lacey says "That's actually really good to know, thank you." She smiles so brightly even in the dark of night.  Leon almost doesn't want to walk away, he wants to continue talking to her, but he knows he has to go home now. He knows that if he tries to overstay his welcome Lacey might feel off about him. He said "Well, goodnight and welcome to the neighborhood." She said in a soft and gentle voice "Goodnight." When Leon gets back to his house he heads for his room, ignoring the crowd which is not unusual for him to do, but before he could make it to his room Vince stopped him and asked "Where you going twinkle toes?" It was a gay joke implying that's what Leon is for not wanting to party. Leon responds short and blunt and said "To my room."Come on, have one beer. There's all kinds of hot chicks here too. Maybe you'll walk up to your attic with a girl in your arm for once." Leon said "Nah, I'm good. I'm tired." Vince shouts "Come on dude, when's the last time you even got laid?" As Leon continues to walk away he shouts "None of your business, Vince." With Vince knowing he wasn't going to break through Leon tonight he casually retreats back to the party. Leon lays in bed as the faint party sounds surround him. It's not that he's anti-social it's just that the party scenes aren't necessarily his thing. As he tries to ignore the sounds of a large crowd his mind drifts off to Lacey, next door. He doesn't seem to understand why he can't get her off his mind. He's been with tons of girls socially and sexually before, but not one has every stayed on his mind for too long after the encounter. But this girl, he actually had to muster up the courage to just introduce himself. At this point he assumed that it must be the blunt he eventually got to smoking that's affecting his thought process and he decides that he will sleep it off and the thoughts will go away.

CHAPTER THREE:

The next afternoon Leon wakes up peacefully. This time there were no loud Uhaul truckers yelling and making a ton of noise. This time there was no Vince barging in and making himself comfortable. He rolls out of bed ad continues to go about his daily routine. As he's driving to clock in at his normal job at Torretto's Garage as a mechanic he involuntarily glances at the house next door as it's nearly impossible to overlook. Every thought about the girl next door had almost slipped his mind until now. Leon found himself thinking about her the whole drive to work. Leon thought about all kinds of things this time -- not just about her smile and looks. This time he wondered what her day-to-day life is like, what she does for a living, and how she lives by herself when she appears to be too young to be a homeowner. Usually girls Lacey's age were renting shitty apartments or living with their parents while they attend college. Leon estimated her age to be around twenty since it was nearly impossible by her looks for her to be any older. Leon still found himself wondering about the mysterious girl next door even when distracted by brake jobs, tune-ups, and annoying, pestering customers who felt the need to stand over Leon's back and watch him work on their cars as if they didn't trust him to do his job correctly. Jesse comes up to Leon on his break and sparked conversation about the hosue next door, how convenient.  He said "Did you realize someone lives in that creepy house next door now?" Leon tries to act like the girl next door hasn't been on his mind at all but he can't think of a response fast enough and just said "I know." Those words still keep him under the radar. Jesse said "I wonder who else lives there with her?" Leon said "I think she's just by herslef. She's the only one I've seen." Jesse shot hima bewildered look and said "Well, I guess, but highly unlikely." Now Leon is the one puzzled and asked "How is it highly unlikely?" Jesse responded "How many high schoolers you know own their own house?" Leon was shocked and said "Woah. What do you mean high school? How do you know she's in high school?" Jesse said "Gees, dude, relax, and because she was wearing a uniform and carrying a backpack." Leon drops the topic and is now actually pretty bummed. He knew she looked pretty young but given the circumstance, the possibility of her being in high school never crossed his mind.

[makadelikz]

the girl next door 12/5/2016

The Girl Next Door ♥ CHAPTER ONE:

The sound of moving trucks awoke Leon from his sleep. He gazes out the window with a frowned and restless face, and sees two big Uhaul trucks next door at the house that's been abandoned for six months. The last people who lived there just seemingly disappeared and Leon's curiousity grew because he never recalled seeing 'for sale' signs putting the house on the market for any new owners, and why would the previous owners who just up and vanished be moving stuff back into their house when they never took anything with them in the first place? However, his greatest concern at the moment was the loud Uhaul truckers waking him up so early, but he shortly realized he can't exactly be angry when he looked at the time -- 2:30 PM. Leon walks away from the window and hops in the shower, and afterwards sits on his bed, pulls out a black tray and begins to break a nug to roll a blunt. His roommate, and friend, Vince knocked on the door, but barged in anyway and joined him. Vince said "Did you see that someone is moving into the mysterious house next door?" Leon responds "Yeah, woke my ass up." Vince condenscendingly, but in a jokingly manner said "That's what you get for living in the attic. You can hear everything outside through these windows. I sleep like a baby in my room." Leon jabs back and said "No, you sleep like a baby after your daily six pack." Leon knew Vince was just being his usual self, with the disdainful remarks, but he ultimately knew that Vince means no harm. Vince is a straight-up guy. If he didn't like you he would tell you, and tell you exactly why he doesn't like you. He's not a fake chit-chat kind of guy. Vince sometimes doens't take the jabs as well as he throws them out though and responded with "Fuck you, I don't get drunk everyday and you know I'm fucking right." Leon responds in a tone as if he's sarcastically agreeing with him just to get him to be quiet about the topic, but Leon did know that he was right about the windows. He then added "But I was the last pick of the batch, it's not like I had much of a choice. It was the attic or the streets." Vince lowers his head and realized that he may've hit a soft spot for Leon, but then proceeds to walk out the room anyway shouting "See you tonight for the race," while running down the attic stairs. The attic was renovated and turned into a bedroom specifically for Leon. So the windows aren't meant to dillute as much sound as one of the bedroom windows considering the attic, like any ordinary attic, is generally used for storage, or not used at all.  Leon was happy to have a place to call home, whether he slept in the attic or in the shed out back. A home isn't really something he's used to having up until now. Now all Leon needs is to get used to opening up to people more. As 5:00 rolls around the other housemates get home from their daily lives of blending into the societal norm only to prep for a night filled with illicit activites. It's mostly their participation in the underground street racing world, that the leader of this house and crew practically invented in this area. His name is Dominic Torretto and he refers to his crew as family. He's very selective about who he trusts and even more so about who he lets in his direct crew. Dominic's right hand man is Vince Scaletta who is the hard-headed, quick-tempered on of the batch. Complete opposite of Dom's calm, level-headed way of thinking, and wise decision making. However, Vince is extremely loyal and trustworthy. He doesn't give much of a damn about anyone or anything at all, but if he does care about you, then you mean the world to him. Vince and Dom have been lifelong friends since the third grade. Way before the corrupt street life played a hand in anything. The most 'innocent' one of the crew is Mia, Dom's sister. She keeps the crew in check. She doesn't exactly participate in the charlatan activites of the crew because she doesn't agree with much of it. However, she is very aware of it all and just turns the other cheek. Her major role of the crew is the front of running the Torretto Cafe. It makes it appear as if all the family income comes fromt he family owned businesses rather than the illegal heists and street races. Then there's Letty Ortiz. She's Dom's girlfriend and they've known each other since junior high. They grew up together, always sneaking out and going to their own little drag races. That was back when they raced just for the fun of it rather than street cred. However, that's where this whole gig began. That just leaves Jesse Green and Leon Morgan, who unlike the rest of the crew, do not have significant amount of history with Dom. They come from different parts of the world and have their own histories. However, Dom saw something in them to give them a chance and he clearly trusts them with his life otherwise they wouldn't be apart of the crew and would've never moved in. Jesse is the smart techie of the crew. He has a history of hacking computers and high-tech security systems, among other things. He turned his hobby into designing mods for street racing cars and he knows his way around an engiene like the back of his hand and that was obviously his guaranteed initiation. However, he has the sweetest personality and honestly wouldn't hurt a fly, which makes him different from the rest of the crew by far. He isn't a very physical person and generally avoids confrontation. Jesse's first run-in with the crew was by accident when he was running into the garage, pleading for help, running from a group of people who basically wanted him dead. Still nobody knows exactly why they were after him. To Jesse's luck, Dom is highly respected in the streets, especially on his turf and they backed down with their tails between their legs. Jesse doesn't appear to be anyone who would be apart of this life, his appearance says cliche stoner kid who plays too much video games but he wasn't running from a group of people who wanted him dead for no reason. Finally that just leaves Leon who just happened to cross paths with Torretto unintentionally. He was making bets on drag races at Race Wars, which is the legal monthly event founded by Torretto. Leon was making bets without knowing that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd and the racers, but the thing that makes this event legal is that it bans gambling. So, Leon assumed he was the only one amongst the crowd making bets, but illegal activity is not of his norm. Dom found out he made a pretty huge bet on him to win so he confronted Leon and asked "Why'd you place so much money down? What made you $800 dollars sure that I was going to win? That's a lot of money to throw down on a ten second race." Leon bluntly responded "Because muscle always beat import." Just that response alone and Dom was interested in getting to know Leon. He found out Leon was homeless and made an income off selling drugs and making bets. Dom took him in immediately but Leon having this enigma vibe and not very open with talking about his past or himself in general and Leon realy had to work for his trust, which he ineviatebly did.

CHAPTER TWO:

[makadelikz]

the fast life updated 10/10/2016

The Fast Life Dear Diary…. I’m only fifteen years old and I know way more about the ‘street life’ than I should. I was raised into it so I had no choice, it’s all I know. I’ve tried to blend in with the normal girls my age at my school, but it never works. I’m sure it’s mostly because there’s no common interest. I pretty much like to sit back and watch things unfold. I’m very observant, but because of that I’m very quiet, and being the quiet kid with no friends in high school instantly makes you the loser. I didn’t mind the name calling, and I didn’t mind having no friends because I had a family. Well, the closest thing to a family I’ve ever known. The only blood I know is my older brother, he’s hard-headed, short-tempered, but he guided me and taught me everything I know. I’m still very ignorant when it comes to ‘that life’ but that’s because my older brother doesn’t really want this life for me so he only teaches me how to be observant and catch people in lies, and ironically how to be a good liar. He always says “it will come in handy for any and every situation.“ He wants me to be something successful and earn an honest living like a doctor or lawyer or something, but he and I both know that’s just wishful thinking. He always tells me "You’re too smart to go down my road.” It kind of makes me feel like shit sometimes because the guy who doesn’t really give a fuck about anything gives a fuck about me. I’m starting to think I’m literally the only thing he does care about, besides our “family.” My biological parents were the definition of dead beat. I would like to blame everything on them, but that’s just stupid. They play a role in every major mental scar I have, but other than that, it’s not really their fault my brother and I ended up this way. We could’ve bettered ourselves, we had the potential. In fact, we all had the potential, we just chose the easy way of life, but the easy way of life comes with the hardest consequences that are sometimes too hard to bear.

CHAPTER ONE:

Who am I kidding? Why am I even trying to write in a diary right now? I think that was the girliest thing I’ve ever done. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, but it’s easier to explain everything going on in my mind on paper, and of course there’s really no one else I can talk to anyway. I’m at a very stressful age, and the life I’ve been raised in doesn’t make the stress much easier. I’m only fifteen so my family pretty much sugar coats everything. I know that they’re up to nothing legal, that’s pretty obvious, but of course I’m spared the details. There’s Dominic, who is the alpha wolf, the pack leader. Whatever you want to call it. He calls the shots, and the rest follow. He’s praised in the streets, from Echo Park to Northern Cali, people know his name. Then there’s Dom’s sister Mia, she’s seemingly innocent but she’s played a hand in everything also, only because she’s loyal to family. She doesn’t necessarily agree with what her brother does for the most part, but if any cop or anyone outside the family starts asking questions she’s down to lie and create a false alibi. Then there’s Letty, the bad ass tomboy that any girl (or guy even) would be foolish to mess with. She’s Dom’s girlfriend, always by his side when they go on “runs.” Vince is my older brother. He’s ten years older than me so he basically raised me. Vince and Dom met in the third grade, they’ve been lifelong friends and Vince is loyal to him. Vince is very stubborn though and often loses his temper very quickly. He is known as the short fuse to everyone who’s ever met him. The only people he gives a damn about is us, everyone else he just looks at as if they were garbage. When it comes to family however, Vince is very caring. He has a difficult way of showing it sometimes, but he would take a bullet for any one of us. He’s also had a crush on Mia since high school so he really hates outsiders who hit on her, even though Mia makes it pretty clear that she would never date one of her brother’s friends. Vince respects that, but that doesn’t change his feelings for her. It’s sometimes painful to watch. Jesse is the sweetest person out of all of us. He’s down with 'that life’ but if you didn’t know that you would never assume that, although he’s still pretty ignorant about the street rules in most cases as well. He knows his way around an engiene and has his knack of computer hacking, so that was basically his promised initiation. Jesse joined the 'fam’ when I was ten years old and he has been here since. Then there’s Leon, there’s so much I could say about him but I’ll spare the mushy details. He joined the crew two years ago when he was eighteen years old. He’s a drifter. He traveled from place to place stayed for a few months then left. He had no real friends or family before us. I don’t know what made him stay but I’m glad he did. He and I don’t really have the closest relationship which is odd since we all live in the same house. I mean we talk and everything, but only in group dicussions, we never had a genuine personal conversation. But why would we? Why would he want to hang out with a fifteen year old girl, who doesn’t really have anything intresting to talk about anyway? I don’t even know his favorite color. It’s not that he doesn’t talk much, he just doesn’t like to talk about personal things. Took us all about a year to figure out his birthday when Dom made a comment about how we celebrated everyone else’s birthday that year except for his. He didn’t tell us his birthday because he said he’s used to people not knowing or giving a fuck. He’s never had a real birthday party. Took us six months after that to figure out where he was even initially from before he began drifting. Every time we have talked though he seemed like a very nice guy, and Dom obviously trusts him and likes him otherwise he wouldn’t have been around this long. Same vice versa.  My brother and Leon have grown very close. Vince is Dom’s right hand man, but Leon is Vince’s. Funny how that works. Oh yeah, and then there’s… Me. There’s really nothing more about me that I could say. I’m kind of… Just there. No one really asks me for things, no one really talks to me about things. I mean it’s not like I put any effort into talking to them either but my mentality plays a major role in that. I always think to myself “well if they cared they would ask” and I always just assume no one cares because no one asks and I leave it at that. I keep to myself though for the most part so I don’t really care. I know what people outside our family think about us because I hear it in school and on the streets. There’s people who think Dom is the coolest, and they want to be just like him, winning every race, and having that major street cred. Then there’s the naysayers who call us dysfunctional, and deliquents. To me though, despite how distant I feel from them half of the time, this is my family and I love them. They’re all I have, and they’re the only people I would ever trust. I would stand up for them even if I didn’t know exactly what I was defending, which is the case most of the time. I know they race, which is pretty evident because of their cars. That’s about the only thing they talk about, but even racing isn't talked about in so many explicit details. They attend Race Wars every month, which was actually an event created by Dom. I’m guessing that’s why he’s so popular on the streets. Anyways, the only time I don’t feel distant from them is on Sundays. Dom is very big on family and he carries the traits of his father, who I actually used to call grandpa when I was younger. Every Sunday after church Dom’s father would have a BBQ for everyone in the neighborhood, only if they went to church though. Dom’s father looked out for me and Vince as much as he could.  So now every Sunday, we have “Sunday Dinner.” The rest of the world, and the rest of our problems, even if they’re with each other do not matter on Sunday evenings. We will all sit, say grace, and eat food. Kind of funny how things like that work, to everyone else we’re dysfunctional deliquents, but to us, we’re family.

CHAPTER TWO:

After school I help Mia out at the cafe. It’s family owned, of course. Dom inherited it from his father, he also inherited “Torretto’s Auto Repair.” By day the boys, and Letty, are working in the garage, and Mia and I run the cafe. Very good fronts too, makes us look as if all the money we earn is from an honest living. The others will stop by after they close the garage or when they’re on lunch. Honestly, it’s the only part of the day I look forward to. Mostly because I get to see Leon. Just see him though, we never do much talking. I find my obvious attraction to him pretty awkward though. I mean we hardly know each other on a personal level. That and he’s four years older than me, but he acts way older than nineteen (almost twenty) sometimes I actually forget that he is really only four years older than me. To him I’m just Vince’s little sister. Well, that’s pretty much what I am to everyone, like I said, everyone knows Dom, so everyone knows Dom’s crew as well. Since Vince is Dom’s right hand man, it’s pretty much a sacred rule not to fuck with him either. So just being Vince’s little sister has pretty much prevented every fight I’ve almost been in at school. Nobody wants that kind of trouble. Not that I think my brother would actually harm a teenage girl (or boy) for harming me, but I’ll let them think it if it saves my ass. “Hey Lacey, can you do me a favor and stock the shelf over there with more chips?” Mia interrupts my daydreams. I don’t have a problem with doing it at all, but being in my head is the best place I know. Being snapped out of it to do something such as stock a stupid shelf is pretty annoying. I would never take it out on her though. Mia is the person I’m probably the closest with at least as of recently. I mean there’s my brother, but some of the things Mia and I have talked about since I began helping out here are things I could literally never talk about with my brother. Mostly because it’s been girly things, but our talks really haven’t been genuine anyway because I keep a lot of shit to myself. The thought of even talking about half of this girly stuff with Mia, let alone Vince, is kind of fucking awkward. I remember being little though and walking around the Torretto house in Mia’s shoes that definitely were too substantial for me. I’ve practically lived here before I actually did live here. Mia would braid my hair and tell me stories, paint my nails, you know, girly shit. I admired her. I wanted to be just like her when I got older, but now, I don’t even want to be myself half of the time. Still wouldn’t trade this life for anything though simply because these people are priceless. No amount of anything could ever replace any of them. As I’m stocking the shelf, I hear a too familiar sound. The sound of street racing cars, but only the finest for Torretto’s crew. One by one they enter the cafe greeting Mia. I thought to myself “Am I really this fucking invisible to everybody?” But then out of nowhere, the unexpected happened, Leon fucking says hi to me and asked me for a bag a chips from the box and told me not to tell Mia, even though Mia already knows, especially since she looked right over at him and gave him 'the stare.’ She just hates re-doing the inventory and everyone knows that. “What kind do you want?” There were only two different kinds to choose from that were left in the box, but I wanted to cling on to the conversation for as long as I possibly could. “Uh, I think I’m gonna go with the Frito’s today.” I handed him the chips and he walked off. Best twenty seconds of the day. I know this sounds fucking pathetic, but I’m only a fifteen year old girl who never had a real relationship exactly and this is my first real die-hard crush on a guy, so what do you expect? My brother walks over to me shortly afterward, I already knew his favorite kind of chips, he gets the same kind every day. I handed him the bag and he said “Thanks Lacey, but that’s not the only reason I came over here. I got you something.” He pulls something out of his pocket and it’s a jewelry box with a necklace inside. “I remember you telling me you wanted this necklace so I ordered it online and had it shipped to the garage.” I was shocked because I wasn’t expecting this, but also because I never thought he would even remember that I fucking said that. I just brought up the necklace to break awkward silence in the car ride home when he picked me up from school about a month ago. I hugged him so tightly, and it was the most genuine hug we’ve shared in quite awhile. I don’t know what made him have such a good mood today, but I am thankful for whatever it was because Vince hasn’t been like this for a few months. I was starting to think that he didn’t have an ounce of compassion left in him. I was starting to think none of them had any compassion left in them. Sunday dinners were getting quieter and quieter. I put the necklace on. It was a shiny gold lock-it, I’m surprised Vince remembered that I prefer gold over silver. The state of contentment quickly faded when I realized that, there’s really no one or anything special that comes to mind that would even be inside this necklace. I mean, of course there is my family, but that’s cliche and just a given because they’re really all I know and there’s two sides. Who or what would go on the other side? The satisfaction faded even faster when I remembered how expensive this necklace was, and I knew there was no way Vince could afford something like this and still have tons of money leftover by just doing brake checks, and tune ups. Even the overall family money earned from just the garage and the cafe wouldn’t be enough to just blow money everyday, especially with bills for the house, garage, and cafe combined. Plus, there’s a least ten-thousand dollars under the hood of each of their cars, and that's just under the hood and not the entirety of the car itself. It’s pretty obvious that they have a source of income from something else as well. I always just kept my mouth shut though, because it wasn’t really important to me at the time, nor was it my business.

CHAPTER THREE:

The unwanted sound of my alarm clock woke me up. Time for school! Only the enthusiasm part of that is nothing but sarcastic. I had to wake up even earlier than necessary just to have enough time to convince myself to even go, that and to get ready. I do my hair, makeup, teeth brushed, all the usual shit. The worst part was the stupid uniform. Plaid skirt, stupid tie, stupid vest, stupid buttoned up white collared shirt, stupid knee high socks, and stupid shoes. Oh and if we didn’t want to wear the vest we had to wear the shirt with the school logo on it, or the jacket. Having half of my closet filled with identical clothing irritated me so much. Reminded me of a cartoon character and how in every episode they would be in the same exact outfit. The only thing about the outfit that can be modified was the shoes, as long as they were all black. I think what I hated about all this the most was that I fell into a routine, as if I was living the same day over and over again, and it didn’t help that five days out of the week, I had to wear identical clothing as the previous day. It sounds like I’m complaining, I know. Most people in this world have this exact description for their life. The nine to five grind. I don’t want that though, and I know damn well that we don’t have that, I just want to be apart of whatever it is that they do. Today at school they’re handing out progress reports during every English or reading class. A progress report pretty much shows you what your grade in every class is, and tells you that you have a couple weeks to improve or maintain your grade before report cards are finalized and mailed out to your homes. I knew I was going to have a horrible grade in math, and some pretty bad grades in other classes too, but none that would fail me. It wasn’t that I didn’t get the material, except for Algebra, that class is literally gibberish to me, but for the rest of my classes it’s just that I didn’t care. I had no motivation whatsoever to even pretend to care, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed. I’ve been called to talk one-on-one with every single teacher I have, nearly every day, and that isn’t an exaggeration. Today, my history teacher pulled me aside after class and said “Lacey, I’m sure you know what we’re going to talk about.” I said “I know, it’s my grade. You gave me a D.” He said “I didn’t gve you anything less than what you deserved. I don’t understand Lacey, you get the material. Everything you have turned in has practically a perfect grade every time. The problem is getting you to turn in every assignment. The ones you do turn in aren’t even on time, which takes points off, which brings your grade down even more. You’re smart, you really are, but you concern me, last year you were impeccable, and I even considered putting you in my honors class, but this year you’ve let me down.” I almost felt like shit, but Mr. Klaskow isn’t anyone special to me. However, his lecture definitely didn’t settle right in my head, especially when he said he’s going to have to contact a “parent” for a conference. I screamed internally. I said “Please don’t! I’ll change my attitude around, I promise.” It’s not that I was scared, but it’s just hard explaining to teachers why my brother is listed as my Guardian, and why my parents are basically non-existing. Also, Vince would not be happy about coming down to the school, simply because he hates explaining why he is my Guardian as well. He feels like it’s really no one’s business. Ultimately, it’s because the school raises red flags for students who don’t live in what society deems as a normal, funcational household. There would literally be a little red flag symbol next to my name in the school’s system to signify that I’m what they call an “at risk youth” simply because I don’t live in a traditional household. So basically, every teacher and school counselor will poke their noses where it doesn’t belong and begin to ask a lot of questions that they don’t need to be asking. This is why I switched schools, because I was flagged at my old school as an “at risk youth” and the school guidance counselor didn’t “believe me” when I said my home life is absolutely fine, so she sent The Department of Children and Families to my house with a social worker who wanted to place me in foster care. Surprisingly, Vince won the trial by having a fantasic lawyer who’s name was Saul, I believe, who actually came all the way from New Mexico. Apparently Leon knew him and hooked Vince up, and they convinced the jury that simply living in a house that doesn’t have a mother or father doesn’t mean it’s dysfunctional, and that I still get all the love and care a child needs. Anyways, Mr. Klaskow sighed really long and hard, but he said “Lacey you have three weeks to prove your statement true, but I will make sure I talk to all of your teachers as well and make sure you’re improving in every class, not just mine.” I literally wasn’t expecting this answer, but thank you Mr. Klaskow, partly genuine, partly sarcastic. Why did he have to continue with "but I’m going to talk to all of your teachers as well?” I went straight home after school because Mia texted me and told me there wasn’t much to help out with at the cafe for today. I sat down on the couch, and basically mimicked my teacher’s sigh.  I thought to myself “How in the hell am I going to improve in math? The rest will be easy, but math!? Why did Mr. Klaskow say he would talk to all of my teachers? Why can’t he just worry about HIS class?!?!“ I pulled out my Algebra textbook and sat at the coffee table and almost wanted to cry because I could feel my brain pulsating into a migraine by trying to force myself to understand something that appears as hieroglyphics to my eyes. It’s literally a foreign language to me. It’s easily compared to the cashier who always tries to talk to me in Spanish at the Latin Market down the street. Can’t he tell I don’t fucking understand? The only reason I go in there is because Mexican soda is to die for. Leon walks out of the kitchen and it startled me inside because I didn’t think anyone was home. He said "I heard you sighing in the kitchen. You sound pretty stressed. You okay?” I literally stared at him for half a second before responding. I said “Umm, yeah…. (sighs) No.. I don’t fucking get this shit.” He giggled. I looked up at him to read his body language to see if he was being playful, or being a dick. I could tell by his smile he was being playful, but I wasn’t in the mood, yes not even for Leon. I said “What’s so funny?” He said “Relax, I’m just playin’.  You know I could help you if you want? Algebra and History are the only two subjects I was ever actually good in. Failed the rest. Well, I failed the rest just because I never wanted to do the work, and I never went to school, but I understood it to an extent.” I looked up in shock not only because he offered to help me, which means one-on-one time with Leon, which I’ve been practically dreaming about, but because he said he’s excellent at algebra. I guess I thought longer than I needed to with my response because then he said “Well……?” I said “That would be amazing. I need to learn this in three weeks.” He said “I could teach you this shit in a day.” He sat down on the ground next to me, I could literally hear him breathe he was so close, but I didn’t mind. He said “So where are we starting?” I just looked up and smiled. Involuntary I guess, but I just couldn’t contain the excitement I felt.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The tutoring has been going on for a month now. I’m not using him just to keep him around though, I have actually learned algebra, but each new chapter is still confusing, but less confusing thanks to Leon. My grades did improve, and Mr. Klaskow never called my brother to arrange a conference. It has been pleasent having Leon around me every day after school though. I started asking for help in almost every subject just to keep him around longer. Okay, I confessed. I am looking for excuses to keep him around longer, and the bonus is the grades I’m getting. I know that it seems like I was using him just because I had a little crush on him, but honestly I knew that the crush was never going to go anywhere anyway, and it’s certainly not like he’ll ever know, because that means I would have to tell him. He’s also way older and more mature than me. I genuinely just kept him around because I liked the company, I liked feeling like I had a “friend.” He didn’t even mind tutoring me, It’s like he looked forward to it. I know I certainly did.   Today we were in the middle of our tutoring session, and I was literally too deep in trying to figure out the answer to a problem that for a split second I forgot Leon was actually right there analyzing my work. He asked me a question, which made me completely lose track of what I was doing within this multi-step equation. I didn’t mind though because the question made me feel very worhty, and pleasent for a short second, but then I remembered the reality behind the answer to that question. It was such a simple question, but a question that nobody has asked me for a few years now. The question was “How are you feeling?” I know it was probably in refrence to the tutoring because we’ve actually studied longer than usual today, but that question alone has an endless list for me. I could go on and on about how I’m feeling Leon, do you really want to go there? I didn’t actually ask him that though. To be honest I’m pretty good at coming up with bullshit answers to avoid confrontation right on the spot, but today, right now, I couldn’t. I just blankly stared at him and then looked down and said “I don’t know.” He said “Hey, are you alright? Is there something you want to tallk about?” In my head I’m screaming isn’t that obvious? But I just look back at him trying to contain my emotions and said “no,” as in there’s nothing I want to talk about, but my voice fucking cracked! Of course it did. Now he knows I’m lying, and now he’s going to poke at this until he gets a straight answer, but contrary to my belief he just looked at me and said “I know that’s a lie, but I’m not going to make you talk about something you don’t want to talk about, but just know that you’re not alone, and I will literally sit with you for hours and hours and talk with you about anything you need to talk about.” I saw genuine compassion for the first time in his bright green eyes, and it was for me. A fucking tear came down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away and pretended like that didn’t just happen, I didn’t even feel like I was on the verge of tears, thank you body for signaling me like you’re supposed to! He obviously saw it though. I know he did, he just sympathetically touched my shoulder and closed my text book and said “we can be done for today,” and he softly smiled and walked away. I literally went straight to my room, and threw my face into the pillow and lost myself. I cried for hours. Why was I being so emotional? Oh, because that was first time in such a long time that anyone in the house actually cared about what was on my mind, and how I was feeling.  I’ve prepared for this moment for awhile. What I would say. I would be straight-forward and tell them that I hate being excluded and that I’m not an idiot, but why couldn’t I do that today? I literally thought I could write a dissertation about how I feel, but when it came down to it I choked up. I’m a fucking mess. Now, I know I'm probably overreacting just a tad, but coming from feeling like you're all alone in the world to instantly seeing someone that you actually fancy show concern for you, is pretty overwhelming. Later that night while eating dinner at the dining room table everyone was quiet for the most part, but that was beginning to become a usual thing. Oddly enough Leon is the one who starts conversation. He’s been a lot more chatty lately. It feels almost as if that he’s finally genuinely content with us, and being around us. As I mentioned before, Leon was a drifter. He didn’t stay in places for a long time. This has been the longest he’s stayed anywhere since the moment he began drifting. Kind of pleasing to know that Leon feels like he has a place to refer to as home. Out of all people Leon could talk to though, he initiated conversation with me. You would think this is something I would want, and a few weeks ago it’s something I literally would hope for, but after what happened earlier today this is not something I want right now at all. All the attention will be on me, which is also something I’ve been hoping for, but now that I got it the feeling is a bit too uneasy for me. “So, Lacey…. You really never talk during dinner. Why is that?” Leon asked. It’s almost as if he’s testing me, and it’s kind of irritating. I said “Well, no one ever really talks to me.” He said, “Well lets all play would you rather” I gave him such a puzzled expression. Usually I can read people like a book, I can predict literally almost every move or motive from a person, but Leon is a different story. A book that’s in a different language. This is definitely not something I was expecting, even Vince laughed at his request but Jesse said he’s down to do it, and Mia said “That sounds like fun, we haven’t had a family game night in ages.” Vince continued to laugh and said “…Alright…” in a tone as if he wasn’t really into it but he didn’t want to be the only one not playing. Leon looked directly at me and it was as if he smiling through his eyes. I don’t know if I’m infuriated or bewildered. Did he do this to piss me off? It certainly feels like it but at the same time, Leon never striked me as the kind of person who would actually do that intetionally. Especially not after today when he seemed so compassionate towards me. What is he doing exactly? A few hours after dinner Vince, Dom and Letty left. They of course didn’t say where they were going but I’m sure it was nothing vigorous. Jesse and Mia were asleep. I looked out the window and watched the others leave but then noticed Leon’s car was still in the driveway. I went looking for him and found him in the backyard. I said “So what was that for?” he looked as if he was taken aback by my question he said “What was what for?” I said “You know, the whole thing you pulled tonight at dinner.” He said “Lacey, I didn’t pull anything. I thought you realized what my objective was.” Now I’m the one that’s dumbfounded. I asked him “What do you mean?” He said “My plan was to get them to talk to you, and ask you questions. You said no one really ever talks to you, but tonight, every single one of them did.” I was kind of pleased with his answer, still a bit confused though. I said “Why would you rather though?” He said “It’s one of my favorite games. You can get way more creative with would you rather as opposed to twenty questions. Plus, when you put someone on the line and give them two scenarios and two choices, you can tell a lot about that person simply by which outcome they…. Would rather. No matter how silly or simple the question.” It took me a minute to settle with what he said but it was honestly the best thing I’ve ever heard him say. I sat down near him on the back steps and asked something I probably shouldn’t have and said “Why didn’t you go with Vince, Dom and Letty? You usually do.” He said “Because I don’t have to……” I left it at that and was quiet for a minute, I wanted to initiate conversation but at the same time my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Leon interrupted the silence and said “Sorry if that sounded abrupt, I didn’t mean for it to. It’s just that I don’t need to go with them all the time, sometimes, I just like to rest…..” I smiled and said “Why do you always have toothpicks in your mouth?” It was such a dumb question, I know, but I wanted to switch the topic. He laughed and said “What an odd question, but I like it, I like odd,” and he continued with “and I don’t always have a toothpick.” We both started laughing. Then he said “I used to smoke cigarettes. Nearly a pack a day. I quit cold turkey. One of the things that I picked up instead of a cigarette was a toothpick. It’s the habit of constantly having something in my hand that was hard to kick. I also started chewing gum. Not nicotine gum, but regular gum, but toothpicks kind of just stuck. Every time I felt the urge I would just chew on a toothpick until it passed. The irony is that now I have a toothpick addiction.” We both chuckled at the ironic outcome of the toothpicks, but the conversation kind of dropped there when Mia opened the door and asked me to help her do the dishes. Leon smiled at me and said “Talk to you tomorrow.”

CHAPTER FIVE:

Dear DIary…. Why am I writing in this dumb book? Why am I writing as if anyone is actually reading this other than me? I honestly never thought I would be this girly, but here I am writing in a journal and addressing it as my diary. It’s honestly stress relieving though. Anyways, since I’m here I might as well talk about my life the past few months since it’s been that long since I’ve last written in here. Leon and I have developed a very odd friendship, but a friendship to say the least. Most of our conversations are short, the longest time we spend together talking is about school related sutff. Nothing other than that has been exciting lately. Nothing out of the oridinary. Dom, Vince, Letty, Jesse and Leon still go on… night adventures. That’s what I like to call them. They leave late at night, and usually don’t come back until about 6AM, of course I still don’t know what they’re up to, and when it comes to that I’m completely out of the loop. I just know that every time they leave Mia gets upset, but in a way where she knows she can’t do anything about whatever is bothering her so she just lets it go. Today is Leon’s birthday. We haven’t actually celebrated his birthday since we’ve known him. I don’t want to push it, but I do want to surprise him since he’s never had a real birthday party. I bought him a cake, but my excuse will be because of all the help he’s given me with tutoring, that’s if he doesn’t appreciate the fact that I’m attempting to celebrate his birthday. I’m sure he  won’t mind though… At least I hope not. I probably should've just gotten candy, because that would've been a lot easier to dismiss since Leon's birthday is three days before Halloween. I’m supposed to meet him today directly after school at his new house, yeah he moved out, which is kind of upsetting, but he told me it was only temporary, I don’t know why he moved out, all I know is that him and Vince got into a disagreement because they shared a room. I guess Leon didn’t like Vince bringing in random girls all hours of the night, at least that was my assumption. Leon said he has roommates now, which I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not really used to being around anyone that isn’t my household. I just hope they’re not home when I’m there today.

After the last bell at school rang I quickly got out of there to avoid any teachers talking to me, they haven’t lately because my grades have actually improved, but just in case. Well, that and I was eager to pick up Leon’s cake from the bakery. I don’t even like cake, but I’m hoping he does otherwise this would be a very awkward situation. I finally got the cake and got on the city bus, which is actually a pretty frightening experience for me, I hate the city bus, every time I’ve rode it by myself some creepy person always tries to talk to me. Didn’t help that I was in a school uniform which is a top porn fantasy, my school is setting girls like me up for high anxiety in risky situations. There was literally this one time this creepy older dude was pestering me and asking me if I would join him and his wife in a threesome, but I pretended that I didn't speak any English which worked a litte bit, but I think the guy could tell I was faking it. However, some random dude who overheard the pervert saved the day. Surprisingly I made it off the bus alive, and my anxiety only reached a mild point. I finally found the house Leon is staying at now and I knocked on the door. It took him a few minutes but he finally opened it, he smiled and said “Hey Lacey.” and cocked his head towards the direction of the living room and told me to come in, I said “Wait. I’ve got something for you.” He turned back around with bewilderment, and I picked up the cake that I placed on the ground next to the door so he wouldn’t notice it right away. I said “..Happy Birthday.” and I smiled at him. He just stared at the cake and back at me, he did this a few more times and now at this point my anxiety is through the roof and I’m thinking to myself damn I fucked up but he started to laugh, it was a joyous laugh, he smiled real hard and I could honestly see his eyes water, my heart was beating insanely fast. He said “Thank you so much Lacey, I wasn’t expecting this… This… This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Literally.” I wanted to start crying because I thought he was starting to get upset, but I feel accomplished now. He immediately cut out a slice and offered me a piece and I said “No thank you, I actually don’t like cake. I would’ve gotten ice cream but it would’ve melted on the bus.” He smiled and said “It’s alright. You could’ve gotten me pretzels and stuck a sticky note onto the bag that said happy birthday and I would’ve been just as pleased.” I smiled real hard. Then out of nowhere he hugs me, and kisses me on top of my head. Anxiety level went from chill to almost panic attack in less than a second. I could smell alcohol on his breath when he got close to me. I said “Leon, are you okay?” He said “No, not really. I am now, but….” He didn’t continue his thought. I said “When did you start drinking today?” He said “When I woke up at eleven. I’m sorry Lacey I know I said I would help you today, but I forgot today was my birthday until I woke up. Birthdays aren’t really an exciting day for me, they never really were. This turned into the best birthday I’ve ever had though…. Thanks to you.” That comment sent chills down my spine. Just a few months ago I felt as if Leon didn’t really even acknowledge the fact that I existed, and now according to him, I gave him the best birthday of all his twenty years of life. I said “It’s okay, you don’t have to help me today. I’m actually doing pretty good. The only reason I asked you to study today was because I wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” I sounded as if I was confessing something bawdy, like he’s a Catholic preist and I’m the sinner. He said “Honestly…. Thank you so much Lacey….. Also, if you ever need anything… Anything at all.. I know I’m not down the hall anymore but you can come over here whenever you want. I’ll be here unless I’m with Dom, and all of them.” I was almost tempted to ask him what is he does when he’s “with Dom, and all of them” but I’m having a good day, and we’re having a good moment, and I don’t want to spoil that. Maybe, I’ll ask him tomorrow since I'm getting a little bit more brave when it comes to actually talking to him. Leon drove me home so I didn’t have to ride the bus, especially now since it’s almost dark outside. He pulled up in front of the house and said “Thank you again for a great birthday, Lacey. Also, how did you even get the money for the cake? I didn’t think Mia paid you for helping out at the cafe.” She didn’t usually. She used to but hasn’t in awhile, and I’m not going to ask for money like that. It was kind of like allowance money for doing chores. However, I actually was selling stuff at school, that’s how I got the money, but I wasn’t going to answer, and I didn’t think he would ask this so I wasn’t prepared for any sort of escape route. I shot back with “How did you get the money for every modified piece for this car? Or even the car itself? I didn’t think doing brake checks, and tune ups paid for a luxury living.” He looked back at me, and he looked very shocked and didn’t say anything for a couple seconds I started to feel shitty but then he looked at me and said “Touche.” On Halloween day I overheard everyone talking in the kitchen, I heard Leon too, I stopped to hear what they were talking about, considering they thought I wasn’t around. It would be interesting to hear what would come up. At first I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned “the meet up” tonight. I’ve heard them refer to things as “the meet up” before, but I don’t know what it is. What the hell are they going to do? I ran back upstairs and called a friend of mine, the only friend I actually have, and even she is not someone I fully trust, but she lives in a different city, and I know she has a car, and I asked her if she could come visit immediately, and that we’re going to need her car tonight. I thought to myself what am I doing right now? Am I actually considering following my family just to see what it is that they do? I kept thinking of every rational excuse if I was to get caught, but I honestly couldn’t think of one, especially because I don’t even know what it is I’m about to stumble upon. Even Mia is going tonight, is it that big? Mia usually never goes with them. Only once in a blue moon. Chandler and I hung out in my room all day, I discussed the plans with her, and she said “As long you don’t get me killed I’m down for whatever.” I could hear everyone getting ready to leave, so me and Chandler snuck out the back door and ran to her car before anyone got outside, we dunked in her car so they wouldn’t see us we waited for all of them to get halfway down the road before Chandler turned her car on and began to follow. We followed them but stayed at a safe distance, we saw that there was a street blockage, but with hundreds of other street racing cars I was thinking what the fuck but Chandler said “Holy shit this looks cool.” She began to drive closer to the car “meet,” and I said “Chandler, no. Do you see all those cars? None of them look like yours, because they’re modified street racing cars. You have a 2008 Chevy Malibu. They’re going to think you’re an average person, and they’re not going to let you in. Park in the parking garage down the block that way, it’s free.” I thought to myself that was a pretty excellent point, but also I could see Leon’s car parked in one of the intersections, he was the guy blocking the road. How awkward would that have been for Chandler to casually drive up next to his yellow imported-from-Europe-1996 Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 in her used-bought-off-the-street-silver 2008 Chevy Malibu with me in the passenger seat? We walked back down towards the blockage but I said “Lets enter a different way.” So we took a right at the last intersection before the blockage, walked down the block to the next blockage of parked cars with people who weren’t even paying attention, but also people who wouldn’t recognize me.   We started blending into the crowd, but Chandler of course doesn’t exactly know the real reason we’re here. I told her the basic outline of tonight’s plans but she doensn’t exactly know why I wanted to follow my brother. She doesn’t even know what my brother looks like or anyone else in the family for that matter. She thinks that I snuck her into some kind of party and that nobody would really care if they saw me. She started to have too much fun. She was dancing with random people, and even shared a blunt with someone for like five minutes. I walked over to her and these random guys smoking blunts and said “Chandler, lets go.” I grabbed her hand seeing how she’s already high as hell and we walk through the crowd, I want to get closer to the center because that seems to be where everyone was gravitating their focus to. I got close enough. I saw my brother, Dom, Letty, Jesse, and Mia. I got there just in time to hear Dom say “Okay Hector will hold the money” and he handed this Hector a fat stack of cash. It was evident that everyone who put in the money was going to race Dom. The concept was easy to grasp. Whoever won, got the entire stack of cash and whatever else was betted. I felt uneasy, but it was starting to make sense. I thought to myself okay so they street race at least they’re not hitmen but I still felt like I was missing so much more. Dom invented this thing called Race Wars that happened once of month, but this wasn’t it. Vince took me to one of the Race War meets a couple years ago. Apparently Dom has it rigged to where it’s legal, as long as no bets are made, but seeing this, I’m sure there’s bets made under the table. I turned to talk to Chandler but she wasn’t next to me. I started freaking out, but I was mostly pissed off, because she’s been wondering off since we got here. How could she just walk away and not tell me? Also, how is she going to say "as long as you don't get me killed, I'm down for whatever" when she's the one being reckless and putting herself in sketchy positions where dangerous scenarios are more than likely to happen? We were surrounded by a lot of people, too many people, I could smell the toothpaste on some people’s breaths. She was just right next to me a few moments ago. I fought my way through the crowd to look for her, but someone grabs my arm and turns me around and my heart sank to the fucking ground. “Lacey!? What are you doing here!?” It was Leon. I was so careful, how the hell did he just happen to find me? I didn’t say anything I yanked my arm from his hand and ran away. I couldn’t find Chandler anywhere, and at this moment I was panting. I ran back to the parking garage. Chandler’s car was still parked. The cold Halloween night air was making me breathe really heavy. I had no choice but to run back and attempt to look for her. I saw Leon sitting in his car again, as if what just happened didn’t fucking happen. He seemed to be more alert though as if he was looking for me, but as if he couldn’t leave his car at the same time. I saw him talk into a walkie talkie and then next thing I knew I heard joyous screams as if the race was about to go down, I heard engienes revving, and I fought my way through all the crowds, I made my way to front of the crowd just in time to see the cars breeze right past me. They only raced a quarter mile, and Dom won. I could hear cheering, and I saw the Hector guy give Dom all the money. I still feel like this isn’t the only source of mysterious income, but at the moment that wasn’t on my mind. I couldn’t find my friend and next thing I knew I heard sirens. These things get shut down real fast apparently. Everyone scattered like roaches to their cars and headed out immediately. Cops were chasing cars left to right and even stopping pedestrians. I ran as fast as I could to the parking garage thinking that Chandler would now have enough sense to come back to her car, but she still wasn’t there. I waited for like five minutes and thought holy fuck where is she it doesn’t take that long to get here especially when you’re running because of the COPS. I ran out of the parking garage and started walking pretty fast the cops seemed to have been off chasing cars now, I heard a car screech and pull up behind me. It was Leon. He seemed angry as fuck and it scared me, I’ve never seen him this mad he said “Get in!” We didn’t say a word to each other the whole way home. During the ride he didn’t seem pissed off, just concerned. I asked “Are you going to tell Vince?” He said “No. As far as I’m concerned we’re not even having this conversation right now. If you want to tell Vince then that’s on you.” I left the conversation alone after that. We were the first ones back home, and Leon said “Thank God. Get out and run to the backdoor, make it look like you didn’t even go out tonight.” I began to ask what the huge deal was, but he cut me off, so I did exactly what he said. I ran to the back door, up to my room, changed into some gray sweatpants and a black and yellow Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt. I threw my hair up in a bun and removed my makeup. I look as if I was sleeping this entire time and I finished just in time. Gradually everyone began walking through the front door as I was peeking down from the stairs, no one sees me yet. They all walk in so casually, as if none of this even happened. As if they weren’t just being car chased by police. I went downstairs and Leon shot me this look as if he was telepathically telling me to “play it cool.” I walked up to Vince and he said “Hey what’s up Lacey. Still awake?” I said “Yeah, couldn’t sleep.”

CHAPTER SIX:

The next morning, no one is home except for Vince, I go downstairs and sit next to him on the couch. I immediately started asking him questions about last night. I gave him the opprotunity to tell me the truth, but after I asked him what he did last night he just said “What do you think I did?” I said “I don’t know that’s why I’m asking.” He said “Well, what did you and your friend do last night?” It’s like he knows I was testing him so now he’s testing me. I said “Why?” he said “Why does what I did matter?” I just sat there in silence. He said “So… Is there anything you want to tell me?” I just looked up at him and thought to myself if I tell him the truth maybe he won’t care, maybe he’ll finally keep me in the loop with everything. Plus, he’s answering my questions with questions as if he already knows exactly what I’m getting at and exactly what Chandler and I did last night. I know my brother all too well and continuing to lie isn't going to me any good because then Vince won't trust me. If Vince starts answering your questions with codenscending questions, he knows whatever it is you think you're hiding. I immediately came clean and said “I followed you last night, I saw the race and everything.” He looked at me as if he wasn’t shocked and he just bluntly said “I know. I knew this day would come. I guess I just wanted to hold on to your innocence a little longer. Next time though you better ask me so I can keep you safe. I also know that your friend wasn’t safe.” I was surprised to hear him say that. How could he have possibly known Chandler got lost or whatever happened to her? I mean, him knowing I was there wasn’t surprising, he could’ve saw me just as easily as Leon did. Or did Leon tell him? I asked “Is she okay? I’ve been trying to call and text her all morning.” He said “She lost her phone, but she’s fine. She got into a random person’s car and went to a random after party. Hector told me she saw her there after she walked up to him fucked out of her mind asking "Can you help me find Lacey Scaletta?” I’m sorry to say this Lacey, but friends like her can get you killed or locked up. I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore…. At least if I’m not around.“ I jokingly said "You technically were though,” but he just gave me 'the look’. However, I knew what he was saying was true. Chandler was too unpredictable and wild. She was a great friend when it came down to it, but in situations like last night she can’t be trusted. She could’ve gotten me or herself killed. Smoking weed, popping bottles, going home and partying with strangers, She could’ve been raped and killed. She didn’t even bother contacting me through social media to say she was okay or that she was sorry for making me freak out so badly. I said to Vince “I don’t really hang out with Chandler much anyway, she lives in Riverside. She’s just the only person I know with a car other than you guys.” He said “Hey….. You know what… How about I let you drive my car.” I said “When!? Right now? For what?” He said “Yes, and because I’m going to teach you how to drive. You’ll be sixteen in two months, I knew how to drive when I was fourteen. I’m not about to let my baby sister not know how to drive.” We started to walk outside towards his car, and I said “Wait, what else is it that you guys do? And I want the truth.” He looked at me very puzzled, but he sighed and said “Get in, I’ll explain.” I’m actually driving pretty well, and Vince said he was impressed, and I am too. I didn’t think it would be this easy, but once I got used to the small things like putting my foot on the brake to switch gears the rest came naturally. He occasionally told me to slow down or speed up but it was my first time I wasn’t quite use to the feel yet. He said “Alright pull over into that parking lot.” I recognized this place I said “Hey, isn’t this where Race Wars is at every month?” He said “Yeah, I’ve taken you here once, remember?” I said “Yes! That’s exactly why I remember this place.” He said “Pull over to the track.” Once I got there he said “Now, go as fast as you can, and when I say stop slam your foot on the brake.” I said “Are you serious?” He said “I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” So I did it and I could feel the adrenaline pump through my veins. This has honestly been one of the nicest days I’ve spent with Vince in such a long time. We started laughing directly after I slammed my foot on the break and he said “So do you really want to know what it is we do other than street racing and Race Wars?” I looked at him as if that was a dumb question and said “Yes Vince. I hate feeling like I’m entirely out of the loop, as if none of you even trust me enough to tell me.” He said “That’s just it Lacey, we have to trust you entirely before we tell you.” I said “Vince I’m your little sister. I would lie for you, I would die for you, Vince. I know it’s supposed to be the other way around, but I love you just as much as you love me, and I would die for you too. I would lie or die for any of you. You guys are all I got, do you really think I would go out and tell the world? I’ve always known you guys were up to something, I just didn’t know what it was exactly. I want to be apart of whatever it is, I want to be one of you!” He said “Alright, but it takes time, I can’t just throw you into the ring and expect you to win the fight. I have to train you. We all do. We also all have our own roles. I know you’ve seen the inside of Leon’s car, so I know you saw the police scanner, that’s evidently his role. I do the dirty work, Dom and Letty are the main shot callers basically, but they’re just body guards for me technically, and Jesse he’s the mechanic, he’s the one who makes our cars pretty much bullet proof, and he juices up our cars for races."I asked "So the races are rigged?” He said “No, that’s not what I meant. We just have an extra boost of Nitrious Oxide.” I asked “So is Dom the only one who races or do you all race?” He said “We pretty much all get our turn, but Dom mainly.” I continued to ask questions because he seemed to start holding back on answers. “So street racing is the only thing you do?” He said “No. There’s a shipping yard a few miles north. There’s a dirty inside job there, but one of the guys on the inside of that dirty job is on the inside with us. He’s basically our informant. He tells us what trucks the fake shipments are in and it’s route and we hijack it. Most of the time it’s truck loads of money, sometimes it’s money and cocaine. We thought about taking the cocaine too, but that’s not our thing, and we give our informant more share than he normally gets that’s what’s in it for him.” I asked “So do you kill the truck drivers?” Vince said “No! We don’t kill anyone. I hijack the truck, and shoot the driver with a tranq bullet, we take what we want, and we leave the truck on the side of the road, the driver eventually wakes up, but by that time we’re already long gone.” I asked “When’s the next shipment?” He laughed a little under his breath and said “That's not for you to worry about.” I said “But if you’re the one who hijacks the truck that means the rest of them are just in their cars, I can just sit with them and watch you hijack.” He said “Sit with who?” I said Leon and Vince immediately said no. I asked him what he had against Leon since the way he said no made it seem like he did have something against him, or at least something against me riding with him, and he said “I have nothing against him, I just don’t want you to go.” I begged and begged and begged, and he finally gave in he said “You know what, if you work in the garage with me for awhile instead of the cafe then I will let you go, but only if you’re in Leon’s car because he’s in the back, Letty does dangerous shit, and Jesse is in the front towards the side and Dom and I are directly in front of the truck, and usually the drivers have weapons. ” I was totally fine with riding with Leon for the obvious reasons, but even more fine with it because of what Vince just said. I asked if the garage was illegal too just to be a sarcastic asshole and he actually said “Technically. It’s a chop shop. We do illegal repossesions, we take parts for our cars and we sell other parts, and we also have some random customers, but they’re mostly from people in the street racing world. Civilians don’t like the name Toretto.” I said “Well, they sure like the cafe.” He said “Let me rephrase that. They don’t like the name Toretto when Dominic is in front of it. They don’t mind Mia.” Vince looked at me and said “By the way… They don’t like the name Scaletta either.” Then he smiled at me and started laughing. I was really pushing on this hijack topic because I was trying to grasp my mind around the fact that my family hijacks semi-trucks. I asked "How long have the hijacks been going on?” He said “Maybe about a year or so.” I said “And the guy who’s on the inside hasn’t been caught yet? Don’t you think they would assume one of their guys is being a traitor when all their shipments get fucked up?” Vince said “You really do think just like me don’t you?” He laughed and continued with “Don’t worry about it Lacey. It’s nothing you need to even worry about at all anyway, but we already got it covered.” I said “Well, other than that, you do realize that the longer this goes on, the FBI might get involved. They’re basically organzied heists.... Well, they are organized heists.” Vince sighed in a tone as if he knew I was right but just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet. He said “Alright, kiddo. Switch spots with me. It’s time to go home.” That night I saw that Leon was there and asked him if he told Vince about last night, and he said “No, I told you as far as I’m concerned last night didn’t even happen.” I asked “Well how did he find out?” He looked at me confused and said “He knows?” I said “Yeah, but he wasn’t even mad about it…. At all actually.” He said “Hmm, that’s strange but like I said Lacey anything you don’t want Vince or anyone to know I won’t say shit. I won’t even say shit to anyone about anything even if you don’t explicitly ask me to not tell anyone.” I said “But you’re like my brother’s right hand man….” He laughed and said “That doesn’t mean I have to inform him of every single thing that happens in my personal life.” I was extremely pleased that he implied I was apart of his personal life. The next day at school when I was going to lunch I saw Vince in the school office, I walked in and asked him what he was doing here he said “I’m granting permission for Dom, Letty, Mia, Jesse, and Leon to come pick you up from school in case anything ever happens and I’m not available to come get you.” I said “Okay, can you take me home now? I don’t want to be here anymore.” He laughed and said “I figured you’d say that. I was going to do that after this anyway since I’m here I might as well.”

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Dear Diary… A couple months have gone by again since I’ve last written in you. My birthday is tomorrow and I’ll be sixteen, I feel like there’s such a huge difference between sixteen and fifteen. Anything below fifteen is too young, but anything after fifteen is old enough (for most things anyway) but fifteen is just.. fifteen. There’s nothing special about fifteen, you’re neutral. You’re not too young but you’re not quite old enough. I feel like once I turn sixteen the rest of them will start treating me more like an adult and start trusting me more. I still haven’t gone to one of these “shipments” but all of them have been 'training’ me. It’s like criminal boot camp. Only I don’t really see it that way. My family has had cops on the inside. They’ve had made deals with cops that eventually led to their complete immunity to things in the past. If someone wearing a badge can be dirty, then we’re all dirty.We’re all just doing what we have to do to survive a cold world, right?. Ultimately this just proves that a badge doesn't make someone great, sometimes the ones with the badges are even worse than the ones without them.

Twenty or so minutes after I walk downstairs and lay on our porch hammock in the backyard and I start to daydream. I cant really look at the clouds because it’s an overcast day, it’s just one big grey cloud blanketed across the entire sky, but I don’t mind, overcast and rainy days are my favorite, and since we live in Los Angeles it hardly ever rains so I actually cherish the days that it does. Just when I thought I was alone, Leon comes out of nowhere and lays on the hammock next to me, but opposite direction, his head was where my feet were at. I said “Um, hi.” He said “What’s on the agenda for today?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Math? History? Science?” I said “To be honest, I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want to lay here.” He said “I’m right there with you.” If this were to happen months ago before he started tutoring me I would be freaking the fuck out, but I completely feel comfortable around him now, well not entirely, but much more than before and I really like the feeling of that. I said “Oh hey Leon…. Will you tell on me if I smoke this blunt?” He cocked his head up so fast to look at me and gave me this expression like did she really just say that?  He just started laughing though and said “I won’t say a damn thing…… if you share,” and then he winked at me. We smoked the whole blunt, we’re just high as a kite chilling on this hammock, we don’t really speak we just lay there next to each other. I didn’t mind though because when you can be around someone and be completely comfortable even though it’s silent that’s a beautiful thing. I don’t know what it is, but when you’re with someone and you can be silent without the awkward tension you can feel more vibrations between your energy and theirs. It’s like you can connect more with that person through silence rather than with verbal discussion.  I know it probably sounds like the marijuana talking through me right now but I always felt this way. I’m very spiritual and I used to meditate routinely, but lately I just sort of fell off the tracks. I guess that’s why I don’t see eye to eye with my family most of the time, like I love them, and I appreaciate them, and I love spending time with them. It’s just I feel that my thought process is more advanced than theirs. That probably sounds narcissistic, but it’s kind of true. I can usually see the bigger picture, or the greater good, and they can’t. Sometimes even when the greater good is transparent they're too loyal. Meaning that even when they know they're wrong they won't admit it. However, I’m not saying that they aren’t smart I just feel like I figure out solutions faster than they do most of the time. Most of their so called solutions end with violence and blood. Leon is a different story however. I feel a connection between him and I, despite how cliche that sounds it’s true. I just feel like he and I definitely see eye-to-eye. When I’m near him I feel very euphoric. After the high started to wear off Leon sits up and says, “Want to go get food?” I said “That’s a dumb question.” once we get in his car he said “Where do you wanna eat?” I said “I’m in the mood for some Japanese food..” He hesitated and said “The closest Jap restaurant is in Koreatown….. Ironically enough.” I said “Yeah…? And..?” He said “Oh shit, that’s right you don’t know anything about that.” He started to pull out from the driveway and I grabbed his wrist preventing him from turning the keys and said “Don’t know anything about what?” He said “Forget it, Lacey.” I said “You can’t just say shit like that and expect me to forget about it.” He sighed and said “Johny Tran.” I said “And…….. Who is that?” He said “Dominic’s enemy. He and Dom are the two power balls of the streets around here, especially in the street racing community. It’s basically his turf. Dominic’s crew stays away from his turf, and his crew stays away from our turf- Echo Park.” I said “I don’t understand I go to that Japanese place all the time.” He said “Their beef is with Dom and his crew, not Vince’s little sister.” I hesitated to respond because I don’t like being simply known as Vince’s little sister, I have a name of my own and I don’t want to live in his shadow. Unfortunately, however, Vince has already plastered a bad name for Scaletta. People who’ve heard of that name knows that anyone with it doensn’t come with remarkable behavior or outstanding citizenship. At least that’s what one of my teachers told me. She was Vince’s English teacher too. Anyways, I sucked it up and said “Wait so they know who I am?” I mean at least they know of me, right? Better than being completely non-existent like I thought I was. He said “Yep. Why do you think we lied to you? It wasn’t to keep you out of the loop, and it wasn’t because we didn’t trust you. We we’re protecting you.” I said “I don’t see how lying to me protected me at all, I’ve freely walked around Koreatown numerous times as if there was not a care in the fucking world.” He said “I was always watching you.” I said “Woah, wait, what the fuck?” He said “Not like that. Your brother, since I’m his right hand man as you say, assigned me to watch over you. He only asked me to because things have recently heated up between Dom and Tran a lot more than usual.” I just cotinued to glare at him and he said “Lacey I wasn’t stalking you, I only ever followed you to Koreatown when I heard you say something about going to Koreatown.” I said “So you weren’t always watching me?” He said “No.” He said it in a tone as if he really wanted to say you caught me. I said “So technically, I wasn’t always safe.” He said in the same tone “I guess not….. But you’re alive.” I said “Well, I still want Japanese food.” Leon gave me this look as if he really wanted to say “Are you serious?” But he just said “Fine, but we’re taking the train they’ll see my car from a mile away.” Once we get to the Japanese restaurant things seemed to go pretty smoothly other than the fact that Leon seemed to always be looking over his shoulder, literally and metaphorically. We shared an order of spring rolls and we each had our own sushi roll. I don’t even like fish though so I got the terryaki chicken roll and I was surprised to see that Leon walked over to the table with the same fucking thing, except his was the terryaki steak roll. Each roll comes with ten little sushi rolls so I gave Leon five of my terryaki chicken's for five of his terryaki steaks. It worked out perfectly. We got to talking and I dunk down in my side of the booth and asked him about his childhood. I probably shouldn’t have because I felt the mood go from really great to not-so-great in a matter of seconds. He said “Lacey…. I don’t really want to talk about my childhood, but if you really want to know more about the Leon that existed before I moved into your house two years ago I will say this; I’m a dirfter… Well, was a drifter and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that in every place I stopped at I probably stayed a maximum of three months in each place (I was actually aware of this, Mia told me) and each place I had a different name (but I did not know this information.) I never gave anyone my real name. (Or this.) In every place I established a network of.. “friends,” I liked to refer to them strictly as connections, but they kept trying to tell me that I was running from something, and they’re probably right, but to be honest I believe I was running to find something, and I don’t know exactly what I was looking for, all I know is that I think I found it.“ After he said that he just glared over at me and it made my body tingle, and I don’t know why. He continued to talk and said "When I happened to run into Dom and your brother two years ago I introduced myself with my actual name. That’s something I haven’t done since high school prior to them. So it felt weird, it didn’t even feel like that’s who I really was anymore. I had completely forgotten about Leon, the real me. I was just a kid when they found me though, I was hustling and I ended up hustling at Race Wars, making bets before I even knew that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd. Dom asked me if I was hungry and if I had a place to stay that night, I said yeah I was hungry but no I didn’t have a home…. Never really did, and then just like that they took me in…… like a lost fucking puppy…” I tried to sound reassuring and said “At least lost puppies that get taken in get a much better and happier life.” He was still looking down but I could see him smile. He looked up and said “That’s actually a really good way to look at it, Lacey.” I just smiled at him to conclude the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about anything negative anymore. It makes me happy to know that Dom and my brother took him in as family though. It’s not like they just select and recruit random people. Vince and Dom genuinely cared about Leon’s well-being. They welcomed him into our home with a home cooked meal. I remember that because I was there. The first night he arrived he was in dirty clothes that smelt like a community trash can, and his shoes had holes in them. He didn’t look homeless though, he was clean shaved, and his hair was washed and slicked back like it always is, he just looked… Poor. I remember peeping in on him when he thought he was alone that night, and he was crying. I was just a little girl compared to what I am now and I was curious about the stranger in my home. He doesn’t know I saw him cry though, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think I recall that night. I don’t plan on telling him that I do in fact remember every thing about that night. Same as when Jesse arrived. How could I forget the nights two very important people in my life came along? Jesse’s story is a bit different from Leon’s though. Dom and my brother found him running from a gang of people who jumped him. He ran into the garage yelling for help. Poor Jesse, he’s so small and fragile. You would never assume he was apart of this kind of life, but he wasn’t running from a gang of people who wanted him dead for no reason. To outsiders, Dom seems like the kind of person who is nothing but a thug, and that he has no ounce of compassion or feelings in general. However, he’s actually a very caring person. He’s literally mama bear to all of us. Or whatever you want to call it. We’re his family, and he is strongly over-protective. Dom is just highly misunderstood. He doesn’t like to open up, but the only reason I know the things that I do is because I grew up with him and his family. When Dom and Mia’s dad died, Dom claims it wasn’t an accident. He watched his dad perish in a burning car. He swears on everything of value to him that the car was tampered with because his dad never made a mistake. Years later when Dom was a young adult he found the guy he knew was responsible for his dad’s death and beat him with a pipe wrench so badly that he went blind in one eye, and facial reconstruction couldn’t even fix the guy’s face. That was Dom’s first serious offense, and he spent two years in prison for it. He says that he’ll die before he ever goes back. Dom says his passion for street racing is because of his dad. He says within those ten seconds or less, within that quarter mile…. He’s free.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I’m just a kid who claims she’s indepedent and that I don’t need anyone to talk to, or help me, but the reality of that is in all honesty I’m dependent on everyone else in my household. I would literally be clueless without them. I don’t want to be that way, I try very hard to overcome that. I believe it mostly has to do with everything that I’ve been through, and I’m talking about since the beginning. My biological parents were very unfit parents. My mother was a junkie, Vince says she didn’t start using until a year or so after I was born. That makes me feel very unwanted, but Vince assures me that they were pieces of shit to him as well. My dad was an alcoholic and an abuser. He’d beat the living shit out of my mom and my brother for fun. My mom also provoked the fights though. Most of the time it was about money, according to Vince. Our dad’s paychecks didn’t support either of their habits or feed us. Vince was always the one taking care of me. He said that at ten years old he was changing my diapers because our parents either ignored my cries or were too intoxicated and fucked up to even hear them. Vince locked him and I in his room to protect us, mostly from our father. Vince told me one night he snuck out with me in his arms as just a little baby and he took me all the way to the Toretto house. Vince won’t admit it was because he was scared, he says it’s because he didn’t know what to do. Dom’s father always helped as much as he could but unfortunately to legal standards, we had to go home eventually. As I got little bit older my brother would always take the blame for things that I did wrong. I remember accidently knocking a cup over and splashed orange juice all over the floor and the glass broke. My mother watched it happen but she was too high to even be aware. Our dad comes in from the other room yelling and screaming. I was crying, and my dad got up in my face because he assumed I did it since I was crying so hard, but Vince jumped in and made sure I didn’t get hurt. That night Vince went to the hospital with a broken nose for something he didn’t even do. After that Dom’s father fought for legal rights of us. It was a long battle, but we eventually we’re taken in legally by Dom’s family. In the meantime however, the abuse didn’t stop. One night my mother asked me to do something for her. I was seven years old and I was excited because my mom never asked me to do anything. I was pretty sure at times she didn’t even know who I was. She asked me to wake her up early in the morning at 5:30 precisely. I made sure I stayed up the whole night, because I didn’t want to fuck up since this was the first thing my mom ever asked from me. I didn’t want to let her down basically. I didn’t tell Vince about it until after because I was sure he would talk me out of it. At 5:30 on the dot I snuck out of Vince’s room where he and I both slept. I stood on the chair he had in his room to reach the top locks on the door, and I went into my parent’s room. I woke my mom up and she was already dressed. She didn’t say a single word to me, not even a thank you. She went into her closet and grabbed a couple of bags and walked out the front door. I looked out the window and saw her get into a car, and I never saw her again after that. After it happened I cried and told Vince what happened. He was seventeen at the time, so he didn’t care too much about our mom leaving. The only thing that made him mad was that she tricked me into thinking she cared about me enough to get me to do something for her. I sobbed really hard and Vince held me and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I said “but daddy’s gonna be mad at me” and Vince said that he wasn’t going to let my dad hurt me. Later that morning when my dad found out my mom was gone Vince again took the blame for me. He got his ass kicked really badly. Every beating I deserved Vince took the blame for it. Vince got all the shit growing up and I got none of it. To this very day our childhood is not something we talk about. Ever since Dom’s father took us in our lives did a complete turn around. We weren’t afraid or uncomfortable in the house we were living in anymore. We finally had a place to call home and had it actually feel like a home. I still don’t know what ever happened to my mother, or father at this point. I have no idea if they’re even still alive, but I don’t even care.

CHAPTER NINE:

I woke up this morning with everyone in my room yelling “SURPRISE!” I was literally not expecting this, and certainly not expecting everyone to be standing in my room. At least I wasn’t sleeping naked like I normally do because that would’ve been embarrassing if I kicked the blanket off of me in the middle of the night. I see Leon holding a cake and he winked at me as if he was telepathically telling me “Since you got me a cake I got you one.” We do a lot of telepathic speaking come to think of it. They all handed me presents one by one, and when Vince gave me his he sat down next to me on the bed and said “Happy 16th birthday, kiddo. You know… My sixteenth birthday…. Sucked. All I ever wanted was a better life for you.” I just hugged him really tight. Dom said “We’re all going to pitch in to make you one hell of a breakfast so don’t fall back asleep.” Gradually everyone started to leave the room and Leon sat down next to me and said “I remember you said you don’t like cake so I got you a cookie cake, I figured that would be better.” I said “Yeah, I love cookies so..,” and smiled at him, then he pulled out a present from his pocket. He said “I know it isn’t big but sometimes smaller presents are usually the ones that cost more.” I said “The price tag means nothing to me Leon, it’s the thought that counts. I know that’s cliche to say, but it’s true.” I opened the box and it was a Pandora charm bracelet. It had a crescent moon, a sun, and all kinds of cute little things. I said “Holy shit, thank you Leon. You didn’t have to do this.” He said “Of course I didn’t have to…. I wanted to,” then he smiled and walked off. I literally sat there in shock because this whole morning started off really bizarre, I went to bed last night not expecting to even get a single present. They didn’t shower me with gifts and a big fancy breakfast last year. It was just a casual dinner at Applebee’s. I walked downstairs and they even let me have champagne and orange juice. I think I’m already starting to like the feeling of being sixteen. Later that night I overhear them talking about going on another run. Of course, I was interested, so I listened. I heard Leon say “This isn’t going to be a casual run though. We’re just going to the warehouse.” I didn’t know what was said before that because I had just began to eavesdrop. Dom said “I know, I want you and Vince to cover the back. Jesse you keep a look out in the front. I’ll handle the business.” Mia was out with Letty, I don’t know what they were doing but they took Letty’s car, which means Mia’s is out front.  I have no idea where this bright idea came from, but I decided to follow. I remembered everything Vince told me when he took me out driving. I began to follow them, and it was such a long drive. Took about fourty-five minutes to get to the warehouse, I followed behind but tried to stay as far away as possible, especially when we got to those long California roads that nobody seems to be on at the same time you are. I see them pull onto a lengthy dirt road that led to the location. I parked Mia’s car on the side of the road and began to walk. I remember Dom saying he wanted Jesse out front, so I dipped off to the side a little bit. There were plenty of trees to prevent me from being seen. I made it pass Jesse, and now I’m on the side of the warehouse. There’s a huge painter’s bucket that’s just big enough for me to stand on and inch my eyes up to the window to peak in. I see Dom talking to two asian guys. I heard him call him Johny. This must be the Johny Tran that Leon told me about. I was trying to see what they were doing, but I was too short to see everything. I tried to stand more on my tippy-toes but I slipped off the bucket and fell. It was pretty noisy, so I jumped up stood back on the bucket and checked the window to see if they heard it, but thank god they didn’t. I jump off the bucket and start heading back to the car, because that was too close of a call and I began to walk backwards to make sure no one was coming from the back, but I bumped into someone. They covered my mouth to prevent anyone from hearing my screams. I thought this was it, I thought this was the moment that I die. I kicked and tried to fight as best as I could. I felt my heart flutter and thump in my chest like a bass drum. Then all of the sudden I get turned around and pushed up against the wall and it’s Leon holding his finger by his mouth indicating for me to be quiet. He gradually took his hand away from my mouth when he felt my breathing ease up. I tried to run away like I did before on the night of the race, but Leon grabbed my arm and pushed me back up against the wall. It was pretty hard, and my head bounced off. I pushed him back and I snapped and said “Don’t fucking touch me like that ever again.” He grabbed my head and whispered “Shhhh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He grabbed my face in a gentle way and hugged me, and said “I didn’t mean to do it that hard, but goddamnit Lacey what the fuck are you doing here?” I said “I have no excuse, just please don’t tell Vince.” He said “Jesus Christ, Lacey. You can’t be doing this every time and expect me to save you and cover for you. What if that wasn’t me you ran into? What if it wasn’t one of us and it was one them? Do you think you would still be alive right now!? Probably not!” I just looked down and started to cry. I want more than anything to be one of them but I guess I'm just not ready to handle it. He grabbed my chin and wiped my tears and continued and said “How did you even get here?” I said “I took Mia’s car.” Leon just heavily sighed and said “Go home, Lacey.” I said “Are you going to tell?” He turned around and said “No….. But if this happens again I will, Lacey. I’ll have to for your own good. Now, just go home, and don’t be seen! if you get caught we didn't just have this conversation.” Then he ran off towards the back of the warehouse. I got home before Letty and Mia did thankfully. I definitely would’ve gotten in trouble if Mia got home and found her car gone, but with Leon covering for me I can make up a lie and say I just went to a friend’s house or something, and I would get into way less trouble, but thankfully no lies needed to be said, at least on my part. I ran upstairs to my room, and didn’t come back out. I stayed up all night, I could hear their cars pull into the driveway. I turn over to look at the clock, and it’s 6:42 AM. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. Fifteen minutes go by and I hear a slight knock at my door. It was loud enough to get my attention, I don’t know if I would’ve heard it though if I had actually been asleep though. I was confused as hell and I pondered the thought of actually opening it but I guess I took too long because when I finally made the decision and cracked the door open nobody was there.

CHAPTER TEN:

I walk downstairs the next morning, I was supposed to be in school, but I obviously wasn’t going considering the fact that by the time I even fell asleep school had already started. I slowly walk down the stairs to see if I hear anyone talking and the house was dead silent. It was 10:00AM and I’m guessing the rest of them are still sleeping. I walk into the kitchen and nearly almost run into Vince and I jumped so hard, I thought my heart stopped. He says “Why are you so jumpy, and why didn’t you go to school?” I said “Why aren’t you asleep?” He just gave me a puzzled look and asked “Why would I be asleep?” He asked, and I said “I heard you guys pull in at like 6:30.” He said “Oh….. Well…. I slept for a few hours. Now answer my question.” I said “I didn’t feel like going.” He said “Okay,” and started to walk off. I said “That’s it? "Okay.” You’re not going to yell at me? Ask me why I didn’t feel like going? Nothing?“ He said "Why would I yell at you? I just asked you why you weren’t at school. You answered my question and that’s all I wanted.” He starts to walk off and turns back around and said “Oh, Lacey…. Dom and I are going to begin construction down here in the house. We’re going to build the princess Leon his own room so he can quit bitching about sharing one with me and bitching about his roommates at his other house. Anyways, it’s going to be pretty noisy so you might want to get some sleep now while you can.” I said “How did you know I haven’t really slept?” He said “…I didn’t… Until now.” Then he starts to walk off again and I stopped him and said “Hey Vince… Did you knock on my door this morning?” Vince looks extremely puzzled and said “No. Why would I do that?” I played it off and said “I must’ve heard your door close or something I don’t know.” He said “Alright.” Then walks away and goes back to his room with a bowl of cereal. I walk around the rest of the house and then walk into the living room. I see Leon sleeping on the couch. I slowly walk over to him but then quickly walk away thinking to myself what the hell am I doing? How do I even know it was him who knocked on my door? Wait who else could it have been? A few hours later around noon I decide to sit outside on the hammock. It’s such a beautiful, breezy day. I feel at peace and then suddenly the backdoor opens and it’s Leon. I jump up and start to walk off and he grabbed my arm, but then quickly took his hand back as if he's the one traumatized by grabbing me like that last night and he said “You know you don’t have to run from me.” I said “I know…..” He also said “I’m also really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to be so rough.” I said “…..I know…” He felt my head and felt a knot on it and said “Jesus Christ,” and then sighed really heavily. I said “It’s okay… Really… I’m not upset about it, I shouldn’t have been there in the first place, and I know you didn’t mean to do it.” He said “No. It's not alright. It's never alright under any circumstances for a guy to treat a girl like that. Don't justify it Lacey. I fucked up and I feel like shit. I would kill anyone who puts on a knot on your head and here I am giving you one.” I paused a moment and thought about what he just said it made me feel so loved and cared about that I nearly started crying, but in a joyous way. I look up at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He said “Anyways……. I could go for a haircut. If you're feeling up to it, that is.” Then looked at me with a smirk. I said “Okay…. But you owe me.” He said “Okay, what do I owe you? I said  ”….. I don’t know yet…. I mean…  I know, but I don’t want to talk about it yet.“ He looked a little confused but chuckled and said "Alright Lacey..” I ran back downstairs with the trimmers and scissors. He was already sitting in a porch chair outside. I plugged the trimmers into the outside outlet and said “They aren’t going to reach bring the chair back a little bit.” He did, and I proceeded. He said “Just do it exactly like the last time, and don’t take too much off, I like this style, just clean it up a little bit.” The feeling of touching his neck and running my fingers through his hair made me feel really…. Tingly. I wouldn’t know how else to describe it. He started talking and he said “So Lacey….. Remember when you came over to my house on my birthday?” I said yeah in such a tone as if I didn’t know where he was headed with this because I truly didn’t. He said “You left your backpack there. I forgot to tell you, I know it’s been two months since then, but the thought just kept slipping my mind, and you haven’t said anything about it, but then after what I found inside I figured I wouldn’t say anythig until you brought it up…. But you never did.” I started thinking to myself by saying shit that’s where I left it. I asked “You went through my bag…?” He said “No it was unzipped all I did was pick it up and you know what fell out.” I didn’t say anything and he continued and asked “So how long have you been dealing?” I said “Since August when school started.” He asked “Where are you getting all that weed from? I hope you’re not pushing for someone.” I said “I’m not. It’s my weed. I buy it, and charge more than what I bought it for.” He said “That’s a little fucked up.” I said “I know, but I don’t care. The preppy kids at my school don’t know how much a G costs anyway. They’ll pay whatever price I make up.” He said “Well then… Good. Finesse that shit.” I said “You’re not going to yell at me or something?” He said “No of course not. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Then he reached in his pockets and pulled out a fat stack of cash wrapped in my pink hair tie that I’ve also been looking for and said “You probably want this back.” I just sighed and blankly stared into his eyes and he said “Hey… As long as you’re not getting yourself into trouble I don’t care.” Then he said “Oh and what was the favor you wanted?” I started to laugh and said “Never mind.” He said “Nah what is it?” I said “I was just going to ask you to pretend to be my guardian or whatever for a piercing I want.” He said “Okay, that’s literally a piece of cake.” I said “But you’re probably not going to do it when I tell you the piercing that I want.” Then he said “Lacey…. If you say you want a clit ring I’m going to walk away and pretend like I never had this conversation.” I started laughing and said “No!! I want….” I was hesitant about it but continued and said “My nipples pierced…” He just blankly stared at me and said “Why?” I said “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pictures of nipple piercings and they look… Pretty…Cool.” He pondered the decision and said “Alright, I know a guy that did my tatts…. He’ll hook you up for half the price.” He started to walk away and I said “Leon….” He turned around and I said “Thank you..” He chuckled and “Yeah no problem.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

The next day Leon takes me to Downtown, LA. We live so close but never actually go here often. He took me to a tatt shop, and I was honestly nervous. I already have a tattoo that’s on my chest below my boobs, but nobody knows that except for me, and this one boy I dated when I was fifteen. He kind of took my virginity. Well he did, but as soon as he pooped my cherry he took it out and said gross, even though I literally told him I was a virgin and he was expecting it. Haven’t had any sexual contact since other than with myself. Anyways, I feel nervous maybe because of the fact that a needle is going to go through my nipple…. Twice. I told Leon “I’m nervous. Will you come back there with me?” He said “Lacey… Ummm…. Okay.” We got back there and Leon greeted the guy and called him Dave. He said “This is Lacey.” I just smiled real nervously and Dave asked “How old are you Lacey?” I look over to Leon and he gave me this reassuring nod as if it was all right to tell the truth. I said “I’m sixteen.” Leon said “Yeah so can you like cover her titts up, because she wants me to hold her hand.” I actually never asked him to hold my hand but I would appreciate it. Dave said “Yeah man sure, I’ll get what I use to cover genitals when I’m doing tattoos in that area.” He comes back with this paper towel type thing that felt like the thing dentists put around you to keep your clothes from getting ruined with your saliva and toothpaste. Leon turned around and I took my shirt off. Dave said “Wow, that’s a really nice tattoo.” I hesitated and said “Thanks…..” Dave put the cover over me and said “Leon, I’ll need you to hold it up so I can do the piercing, but this should do the job.” Leon held up the cover so Dave can pierce my titts with his left hand, and held my hand with his right, and stood behind my head. All I remember after that was clinching my teeth together and squeezing the shit out of Leon’s hand and I even bit on Leon's hand a little bit to prevent myself from screeching, but he didn't say anything or move his hand away so I'm guessing he didn't care about my impulsive decision. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes though. As we’re leaving I’m moving pretty slow because the shirt feels like it’s rubbing against my nipples in every way it can. I look down and my nipples are still rock hard and poking through my halter top. I thought to myself that maybe today was a bad day not to wear a bra, but then again wearing a bra might make this feeling worse. We get in the car and Leon says “Sooooooo….. You have a tattoo?” I said “Ummmm…. Yeah….. About that..” He cut me off and said “I don’t want to know… Actually, all I want to know is how old were you and where did you get it?” I said “I was fifteen. Chandler’s brother is a tattoo artist…….. and it’s on my chest… under my boobs.” Leon said “Alrighty then…. I actually meant what shop or whatever… But alright.” He kind of looked like he was blushing a bit and it made me smile and blush also. We get to the house and Leon said “You might want to wear a jacket by the way.” I cross my arms over my titts and started laughing a little bit. At this point I knew I could trust Leon with anything. We walk in and I head upstairs to go change right away and I put a baggy sweater on and some leggings. Then I walk back down stairs in time for dinner. Everyone was pretty much quiet for the most part so dinner wasn’t really exciting, but I’m content because of how close Leon and I have become. I made eye contact with him and he started smiling, but it was kind of like he’s still  blushing. At least that’s the way I remember it, or would like to remember it at least.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Dear Diary, It seems that I only write in you when months go by. It almost seems that’s how long it takes for me to think of something to write or have anything interesting to even write about. However, Leon has given me a much more interesting life lately so I should honestly be writing more. Anyways, Leon and I have become really great… friends. I can trust him with literally anything and it makes me so happy. I think I’m falling for him in ways that are indescriable. It kind of scares me how badly I am infatuated with him. I think I used to hide it pretty well, but now I’m not so sure, but at the same time I kind of don’t care if he did find out, but at the same time I do. It’s complicated. What if he finds out and completely rejects it and we lose the bond we have now? But what if he does find out and feels the same way and we can make our bond even stronger? I’ve also gotten more invovled in these “runs” my family consistently goes on, well I haven’t exactly been invited I just sneak. The first time was a street race that I wasn’t supposed to be at either. The second time was a bit more serious. They met at a sedcluded location and it looked like some kind of deal was going on. Leon caught me both times though, but he had his gun armed the second time and it was a bit more serious that I was there. Leon never told anyone though.That’s why I know I can trust him.

Today is Valentine’s Day and all day today at school I see these dumb ass kids with their gigantic teddy bears and boxes of chocolates. It was like parading your relationship around was the coolest fucking thing to do. When are these kids going to grow up and realize it’s not always about material items all the time? I don’t know but either way, it disgusts me. School quickly turned into a night club with kids practically dry humping each other in the courtyard all because of an overrated holiday. I personally think that if your relationship was actually solid any day should feel like Valentine’s Day. There shouldn’t be a designated day to show you love your significat other, that should literally be like every day. My point is that why on a particular day do you feel the need to spoil your loved one with materialistic items when love shouldn't be founded or grown from such things. You also shouldn’t be the person to ever expect expensive things to just be handed to you. Valentine's day really is just a day they mark up the prices on stupid, meaningless cards and candy. I’ve been often told that I’m an “old soul” I guess that’s why it’s so hard for me to relate and get along with people my age. I see the things and trends that people my age do, and I find it revolting. I relate to people who are much older than me so it’s hard to make friends, because not too many twenty-plus year olds want to hang out with a sixteen year old. I mean I can’t legally drink or get into night clubs so what would we even do? Watch movies? I guess that’s why I’ve come to find myself happier when I’m alone, but no matter how much someone tries to convince themselves and other people that they’re a “lone wolf” and independent, they need someone from time and time again. Most lone wolves act as if they never cared about anyone ever, but the truth is, they’ve lost that one person they cared about, so they figure being alone is better than to ever have to go through that feeling again. However, from my prespective I see it as not wanting to lose those people I care deeply about, so I keep my distance to prevent that from happening. It’s basically a paradox, but I can tend to be a little contradicting at times. As I’m casually walking and drifting in and out of reality and being consumed by my thoughts and fantasies like usual this preppy jocky dude grabs my arm really hard and turns me around I said “What the fuck is your problem man?” He said “I heard about you..” As I was trying to decipher what this could even possibly mean I said “Congratu-fucking-lations. Let me go.” This could really translate to anything. He probably heard a nasty rumor. He said “I know about your family.” This response startled me a bit because I don’t really even know about my own fucking family, so what could he or anyone else possibly fucking know? He said “I don’t want any problems, I just know you sell weed. I mentioned your family because everyone knows they’re up to illegal shit just nobody knows what… You obviously do so..” I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about nor do I see what that has to do with anything.” He said “Look, I don’t know where else to buy weed from and I promised this college girl that I would have some, I just need someone who wouldn’t say anything. This could mess up my football scholarships and my relationship.” I pondered the decision and then realized this man’s life, his scholarships, and relationship is seriously not my problem whether he got caught or not, but then I also thought that he's the type to get caught and only get a slap on the wrist if he ratted out who gave him the weed, and I'm nobody to him so he would have no problem doing so without hesitation. While I was thinking about whether or not I actually wanted to sell to this kid he said "Look. You won't get into trouble, I have a lot to lose such as my football scholarship. I won't get caught I'll be careful and even if I do get caught I have rich parents who are friends with a DA and some pretty high-up-there people. It'll be swept under the rug and nobody would know where the weed even came from." I sighed and said “Fine…. How much you need?” He said “A ground.” I said “Excuse me? Do you mean gram?” Where the fuck did he hear ground from? He said “Whatever it’s called.” I said “Okay…. fourty bucks.” He said “Alright no problem. Do you have change? I only have a fifty.” I said "I'm a drug dealer, not a cash register." He handed me the cash, which was actually ten more dollars than I had even originally asked for, and I handed him a fat nic sack, but he clearly doesn’t know the difference. I was laughing to myself thinking How can someone be this stupid? A gram isn’t even fourty dollars, it’s not even twenty dollars, and I didn’t even give him a gram. I gave him a nic sack that's only actually worth five bucks. I should feel really bad and petty but these dumb arrogant rich kids shouldn't be smoking weed if they have no fucking clue about the terminology, prices, and size. The fact that it was too easy to scam them was hilarious and not my problem, but rather my profit. Anyone like me could just tell by simply eyeballing the nic sack that it certainly wasn't a gram nor anywhere close to fourty dollars. I know what you're thinking; I should probably be more careful and profit more reasonable prices. However, I choose my clientele selectively and appropiately. If someone is buying from me and I know they would call me out on my shit even if I said it was worth five more dollars than what it actually was I wouldn't bullshit. You'd think that would get me caught and I'd lose customers, but like I said, I go to a school that's filled with a bunch of preppy rich kids who don't even know what they're doing when it comes to buying weed, and the small handful of kids like me at this school don't run their mouth about things like this because like me, they know running your mouth can get you into trouble. A few moments later as I’m walking down the road after the last bell of the day rang I see a familiar car. Unfortunately it wasn’t Leon it was Vince. He said “Get in.” We went an opposite direction than home so I said “Where are we going?” He said “No where special. I just have to go pick up something. Thought I would pick you up on the way.” The conversation stopped for awhile. Vince pulls up in front of a house, and I had to double-look to realize that it was the house of my fucking weed dealer. I started panicking but on the outside I probably still looked sleepy and normal even though I could feel my heart pound rapidly against my chest. My dealer walks outside and starts walking up to the car and at this point I think I’m literally having a panic attack I start looking for a way to escape this situation, but that’s obviously impossible so I just brace myself for whatever the fuck is about to happen. He shakes Vince’s hand and hands Vince some weed while Vince hands him the money in one handshake. That was the transaction handshake. The dealer looks over at me and then back at Vince and he asked “How do you know Lacey?” Vince looked at me and back at the dealer and said “How the fuck do you know Lacey?” I just sink down in my seat and start thinking to myself shit here we go. The dealer answers and said “I deal to her all the time.” Vince looks at me but replies to him and said “Oh really?” I start looking out the window because eye contact with Vince is the last thing I want to encounter right now. Vince’s looks could literally kill. When he started to drive off he didn’t say anything. I made sure I looked out the window the whole ride home. Once we pulled in the driveway I immediately went for the door but Vince grabbed my hand and said “You’re not going anywhere until we talk about this.” I started thinking to myself this is why I like Leon better. He doesn’t force me to talk about anything. I said “I buy weed, who cares? Can I go now?” He said “No. Why do you buy weed?” I said “Oh gee, Vince I wonder what I could possibly be doing with weed.. Hmmmmm… Baking?? Yeah baking delicious brownies for the drama class.” He clearly didn’t appreciate the sarcasm because his face seemed to get bright red with anger. I wasn't even being sarcastic to be a bitch, sarcasm was just my instinctual defense mechanism. Vince never gets angry with me so I said “Vince… I smoke weed okay….. You do it… Everyone else in the house does it… It’s not that big of a deal.” He said “I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.” I said “Well damn Vince what about all the secrets you’re keeping from me?” The tears in my eyes started forming and his eyes settled and he sighed deeply. I didn't even mean to ask this, it just slipped off my tongue. They're not joking when they say bottling things up inside is dangerous. Vince looked at me with bewilderment, slight anger, and frustration and said “The secrets I keep from you are for your own good.” I said “Yeah and the secrets I keep from you are for my own good too.” Vince said “Lacey… I never yell at you. I never get mad at you…. So why do you feel the need to keep things from me?” I said “Vince…. You don’t even understand what goes on in my head, and I don’t even know how to even begin to explain what goes on in my head, but even if I did I couldn’t tell you, because you’re never even around long enough for me to begin.” Vince said “What are you talking about?” I said “I know we’re fucking criminals, Vince! I'm not stupid. Even kids at school know about you guys. Probably a lot more than I even fucking do. We street race, we do mysterious illicit deals in random warehouses in the middle of nowhere, god knows what else the fuck we do yet you’re jumping on my case because of some fucking weed and some secrets? Fuck you Vince.” My heart sank to the floor when I realized I just ratted myself out about sneaking around that night of the warehouse incident. Thank God I didn't throw Leon under the bus, he would never trust me again. He didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t leave the car. Part of me really wanted to leave from the car but the other part of me just felt too emotionally and physically unstable to even move. I was also a little scared to move at this point. I just wanted to lay down and cry where I was sitting. Vince said “How the hell do you know about the warehouse?” I said “Goddamnit Vince… I followed you, okay? I don’t care if you get mad about it, but I am sorry. I’m not a little girl anymore. I understand now, I’m not dumb. You can’t just keep feeding me this bullshit and expect to tell you everything when I don’t even know who you are anymore Vince… Any of you at that. What were YOU doing at sixteen, Vince? Tell me that. I bet it’s worse than anything I’ve ever fucking done, yet you want to sit here and lecture me about keeping secrets and smoking weed?” Vince said “Alright. I think it’s time.” I just gave him this puzzled ass look and he said “Go inside and wait for me in the dining room.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Vince seemed a little pissed off so I did exactly what he said and I sat and waited in the dining room. My stomach was all in knots and my heart was pounding. I had no idea what to prepare for. Vince walks in the dining room and literally everyone was with him, even Leon. Dom is the first one to speak and he said “So Lacey….. Vince told me you know about what we do. Well, at least the tip of the iceberg.” Everyone seemed so calm, yet I basically just called them out on their "top secret" bullshit. I just sat in my chair with my legs and arms crossed and I tried to avoid eye contact by looking down at my boring all black shoes. I felt like this was going to be an attack even though the approach was light. Dom grabbed my chin to advert my attention to his eyes and said “No one is mad at you. We all knew this day would come. We just want you to be prepared for all the shit it comes with instead of sneaking around. You could get yourself…. Well... Killed for doing that shit.” I got your typical family-like lecture that lasted what seemed like an hour, the only difference is that normal families don’t lecture their teenagers for sneakig around and overseeing their illicit activites. A couple weeks go by and I still stayed on the outside with the exception of some of the minor details Leon would share with me, but even those I had to beg for especially now after seeing how I spilled the beans on the warehouse incident and could've potentionally gotten him in trouble. Honestly, if I were them I would kind of be embarassed at the fact that a sixteen girl is calling them out on their bullshit, and they thought they were so sneaky. Or have they not really been trying to sneak, and that I've only just now started to become more observant and ballsy? Whatever the case may be a sixteen year old high school girl still called them out on their bullshit. The next morning at school a girl that I have been getting rather close with asks me if I wanted to ditch school with her and hangout. Of course I agreed to it, because why wouldn’t I? I hate school anyway, and I needed some friends, I suppose. I met this girl a few months ago in class, she transferred from a school in Sacramento. She’s kind of tall, kind of thick, but the good kind, with long brown curly hair, that matched her brown eyes. Her name is Jackie, short for Jaqueline, and she was a lot like me. She was down to earth, open-minded, and chill. The only difference was that she could make friends easily. She had the whole school in the palm of her hand within weeks. It’s not that I was shy, it’s that I don’t trust people. I still don’t fully trust her. I can hang out with people for months, years even, and still not fully trust them. I guess that’s an expected trait with the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to. It’s just how I am. I’m always mentally prepared to be stabbed in the back. It makes it much easier to deal with when it actually happens, and you don’t get as hurt. I rather have one good friend than a lot and not know who is secretly my enemy. I expected her to have invited a lot of her other friends to come as well, but it was just me and her. I asked her where we were going and she said “Over to a friend of mine’s house. He has weed.” I said “I have weed….” She looked at me and said “I know, but….. he has…. other stuff too.” I said “Ohhh…. I didn’t know you were into anything hardcore.” She said “Xanax isn’t that hardcore.” She brushed it off as if that was such a normal thing to say. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start an argument, but pretty much anything outside of alcohol and marijuana was beyond my element. I’ve done other drugs a few times, but it never became a habit. I also thought about the severity of selling anything higher than weed. You deal with turf when it comes to that shit, and the Mexicans run this area. Which makes sense that Jackie has connects in this area, because she is Mexican. We finally get to the house, and it’s a torn down piece of shit in the middle of a pretty sketchy neighborhood. Jackie and I are the whitest people on the entire block, even though she is half Mexican. She has the accent though, so if she were to speak she would instantly blend in leaving me the sore thumb. She proceeded up to a house that had bars on the windows and some of them were boarded up. Even the screen door had bars on it. Some sketchy guy came to the door and opened it and talked through the screen door and said “Who’s she?” Jackie said “She’s my friend, it’s cool.” He didn’t say anything else after that and he just stared at me for awhile, I stared back with a pretty fierce look, mostly because I was irritated but also because I was out of my comfort zone, but on the inside I was a little nervous because I hate willingly putting myself into sketchy situations, but I'm already in too deep to escape now. I sit down on the couch next to Jackie, I look around and observe my surroundings, and find any possible exits, just in case. Just part of my nature. The coffee table was filled with cigarette ashes, food, and cocaine, various pills, weed, other random drugs, and a pistol. Next to the door, right by where I was sitting was a wooden baseball bat which is only a good weapon if you have upper body strength, which I seriously lack. Some dude who didn’t say a word was breaking up a nug of weed and watching a shitty box TV with in-and-out picture quality. Which I found pretty odd. All that drug money, but you can’t afford a better television with greater reception? Jackie got her Xanax and I figured we could leave now, so I stood up, and the guy who opened the door said “Where you going?” I said “I thought we were leaving now,” and then I looked back at Jackie, and she said “It’s okay Lacey, we can chill for a little while.” I thought about getting my phone out and calling Leon, but as soon as I reached in my backpack to grab my phone the guy said “What you doing reaching in your bag for?” I hesitated to answer, and grabbed my water bottle and said “I’m just getting my water.” I started panicking because if I get my phone out and call Leon they’ll probably think I’m calling the cops and they’ll kill me. I mean, if I were them I would assume the same thing. The guy who was watching TV started feeling up Jackie’s legs and up her skirt. She didn’t stop him and he said “Wanna bump?” She said “Sure,” and smiled flirtatiously. Then they each did a line of cocaine that was sitting on the coffee table for god knows how long. Even though anything outside the world of marijuana and alcohol was considered extreme to me, I could handle the Xanax, but now she's doing cocaine? I need to get out of this situation, but how? I started thinking to myself great I befriended a junkie whore who got me into a sketchy situation. After she did a line she said “Lacey, come to the bathroom with me.” We proceeded to walk to the bathroom and the two guys stared at us, there was more guys in a room towards the back who shut the door as we walked by. We walk into the bathroom and Jackie shuts the door and I say “Jackie we need to get the fuck out of here.” She said “No, I’m having fun.” I said “Why the fuck did you want me to come in here with you then?” She said “To take selfies with me.” I said “Are you fucking kidding me? Selfies? Sorry Jackie but I’m fucking leaving, and I don’t care if you come with me or not.” She said “You need to calm down Lacey, those guys out there don’t trust you.” I said “They don’t trust me? Bitch, I don’t trust them! They're the sketchy douche bags with shitty TV reception, and an extension cord running from the neighbor's house just so they could have power.” Jackie said “Okay, okay, okay. Just give me five more minutes to pinch some more xannies from Miguel alright. If I let him feel up on me a little bit he’ll give me more than the cost.” I rolled my eyes, and said “Fine, but after this Jackie I’m fucking done.” She said “Sorry, I’ll never take you here again.” I said “No Jackie, I’m fucking done with you, I can't stand people who act like you in sketchy situations. You're so unalert and careless, and that's dangerous.” I proceeded to walk out of the bathroom without her. She sat down next to me on the couch and gave me a dirty look, and then started flirting with Miguel. The other one not named Miguel asked me if I was thirsty, and I said “No thanks, I have my water.” He said “I don’t see you drinking it.” So I did to get him to stop talking to me and to prevent him from offering me anything and preventing me from having to say no to his offer which could end badly. Fifteen minutes later I started feeling light-headed. I immediately knew something was wrong and that they drugged me. I stood up immediately and ran for the door, but one of the guys grabs me and puts his hand over my mouth, and after that I blacked out. I faintly remember some details from fading in and out of conciousness. I remember a group of guys raping Jackie who was unconcious. I felt my pussy to see if I too had been raped. I didn’t see any blood, and I didn’t feel wet. I blacked back out, then woke up again in an alley behind a 7/11 in Koreatown, and it was pitch black outside. I didn’t have my phone, and I didn’t have my backpack. I started freaking out and crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to call the police from a payphone, or call Leon. I had blood all over my clothes and my shirt was all ripped up. I remember seeing what they did to Jackie and thought to myself that I was just gangbanged. I also came to the realization that if I wanted to call Leon from a payphone I would need money and I literally had nothing except for the torn clothes on my back. I ran to the first place I knew I would feel safe– Leon’s house. Any normal person would call the police, but I don't have a normal life, I have this one. I climb up the hill Leon’s house sits on, the side of the house slopes down to the street, and because of the effects of the drugs that I'm still mildly exerperiencing, the little hill felt steeper, and taller than it actually was. I bang on his window loud hoping he was actually there, I see the blinds go up fast and Leon pointed a gun and lowered it fast when he realized it was me said “Jesus Christ, Lacey,” loud enough for me to hear it through the window, then he opens the window and pushes the screen out, then gets a real good look at me and his jaw dropped, I started sobbing, panting and barely getting a word out, and he said “Holy shit.” Then he pulled me up through the window as fast as he could, I didn't have the strength to pull myself up, and we fell to the ground. I didn’t let go of him we just kind of sat there holding each other. “Lacey, baby, I need you to tell me what happened.” He said and I said “I’m still trying to remember what even happened.” He said “Lacey, baby, I need you to breathe, calm down, and think!” I tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. Leon grabbed a water bottle from the night stand next to his bed and held it nearly like a baby bottle for me to drink, because I apparentally looked too incapable to do it myself which means I must look more terrible than I feel and that wasn't a great thing to think about seeing how I can't remember what even happened to me. After I caught my breath I started to explain every detail I faintly remembered through my panting. I could see Leon’s face grow pale as I explain all of this, but then after I finished all I could recollect I see his face grow red with anger. I’ve seen Leon upset before, but I’ve never seen him this vexed. He literally punched a hole in his wall, and then pulled himself together again and kneeled back down on the ground next to me and grabbed my face gently and said “Lacey I need you to to remember where this happened. These mother fuckers aren’t going to get away with this.” I started panting and freaking out again and said “Leon I can’t. I don’t remember.” I start sobbing and panting and repeating “I can’t remember” over and over. Leon eventually held me again and didn’t say anything this time, he just held me tightly and didn’t let go. Twenty minutes went by and I calmed down a lot more than what I was, but I was still obviously shaken up, and Leon said “I just remembered something.” Then stood up and made a phone call. After the call had ended he said “A buddy of mine has a wife who’s a doctor. She does a lot of… Uh….. Off duty type of work for my buddy and his friends. They’re thankfully in the area.. Kind of, and I asked my friend to ask his wife to come check you out.” When the doctor showed up I was still in the same position on the floor and the doctor kneeled down next to me and touched my shoulder and said “Hi Lacey, I’m Tara. I need you to do a few things for me, okay?” I just looked at her through my tears and nodded my head and she continued with “Good, I need you to take your skirt and underwear off, and lay on the bed.” Leon interrupted and said “Should I leave?” I frantically looked at him and said “No, please don’t!” Tara said “Leon, can you get me a clean towel and lay it down on your bed so Lacey can lay on it?” Leon came back with the towel and said “I think I should leave Lacey, I don’t think it’d be appropiate if I.. Uh… Saw….” Tara interrupted him and said “You won’t see anything Leon, I have something to cover everything from your prespective, I’m sure she’d like you to hold her hand.” I immediately shook my head yes, because Leon was literally my safety net.  Leon said “Alright.” Then sat on the bed behind my head reched for my left hand and held it up to his mouth kissed it then rested it on his chin. Tara began her examination and said “I have wonderful news Lacey. You weren’t raped. Whoever drugged you definitely planned on doing so, but you fought back, and clearly won.” I asked “What does that mean? Did I kill someone!?” I know she's a professional, but she responded a little too calm to a question like that and explained “You’re not covered in enough blood for it to have been a homicide but you don’t have any wounds deep enough to have that much blood on your shirt so it’s definitely not yours. Also I’ve noticed that you have skin under your fingernails so you definitely clawed at them. Judging by the blood on your shirt and the fingernails I say you roughed them up pretty good.” I asked “But I woke up in a random alley. They must’ve put me there.” Tara said “Or you just don’t remember what happened because of the drugs. You probably got away and ran, until the drugs blacked you out again, and then passed out in the alley. You have no vaginal tears or even signs of intercourse at all. When a girl is sexually assaulted she's usually drier than the Sahara desert which causes severe vaginal tears from the force implemented by the attacker.” Leon said “So she’s…. Okay?” Tara nodded with such reassurance and said “Yes! She’s perfectly fine other than the trauma, bruises, and scratches.” Leon looked at me, and smurked a thankful smile. Tara went to her bag and pulled out some unmarked scripts and said “Here’s some medication.” She marked each bottle with a different letter and said “This one is for relaxation because of the trauma. It's like Xanax but a lot more mild." I though to myself What are the fucking odds? Xanax is what got me into this mess in the first place. She continued and said "...And this one is for headchaes, it’s called firocet it’s for severe migraines. I recommended not taking anything until tomorrow afternoon. You wouldn’t want to mix this with whatever they drugged you with. From professional experience I’d say it was probably roofies, or some generic form, due to your loss of memory. You should be fine after a good night’s sleep.” Something about Tara was so ironic. She was soft spoken, reassuring, calm, and her vibe was peaceful. Yet, at the same time she’s basically a mob doctor. I’m not dumb. I figured it out right away when Leon said “off duty” work and I thought to myself how did someone like this who clearly wasn’t raised in this life become apart of this life? How did she end up marrying someone apart of this life? How did it all work out for her? It all seemed too weird to me, but at the same time, I was envious. She has the best of both worlds. I’m sure she has a lot of friends and connections on both sides of the law. After Tara took my urine for some various tests she proceeded to pack up. Leon said “Thanks so much Tara. Tell Jax I said hey.” She said “Of course, it’s not a problem.” Tara proceeds to leave and said “I’ll have Jax give me your number Leon so I can call you about the results of her tests.” Then Leon walks her out to her car and comes back in the room and I sit up on Leon’s bed making sure I’m still covered and I said “Can I shower?” He said “no shit,” and kind of chuckled. He said “The towel you’re sitting on is clean, if you want to use that one.” Then he walked over to his bathroom and started to turn the shower on. I slowly walked in behind him with the towel wrapped around my waist and he said “If you want it hotter just turn it to the left.” Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked out closing the door behind him. I slowly unbottoned my school shirt as I remembered what happened to Jackie, and if she was safe. In a way I felt a little guilty knowing that I got away and that she probably didn’t. Then again, even though nobody deserves what she got by any means, it was her fault for being to absent-minded by willingly putting herself in harm's way and dragging me into it. I sat down inside the shower and let the water run down on me. I was just sitting there for about twenty or so minutes before I lifted my head up. I looked up at Leon’s shower things and I picked up his body wash, put some in my hands and started rubbing it all over my body. Even though Tara said I wasn’t harmed I still felt disgusting. I didn’t even feel comfortable touching myself down there. After I got out of the shower I gradually walked out of the bathroom in my towel feeling awkward. This has been something I’ve fantasied about for a long time, but now I feel gross and I don’t even want Leon to look at me. Leon pulls out one of his jersey tank tops that he always wears with the number eight on it and said “I figured you needed something to put on after the shower. I also have some clean boxers if you’re okay with that.” I said “Yes, that’s fine.”  Leon then turns around as if he expected me to change here instead of walking back into the bathroom, so I did change in the room. I don’t know why I guess it was instinct. Despite everything I just went through I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. I only felt uncomfortable with myself at this point. I started to lay down on the bed afterwards and Leon started to make a bed for himself on the floor. I said “What are you doing?” He paused with a stunned expression on his face and said “I’m giving you the bed.” I said “Leon….. I would feel like shit if you slept on the floor in your own room.” He said “It’s really not that big of a deal.” I said “The bed is huge. Just sleep next to me.” He said “Lacey, I’m not sleeping with you.” “I said next to me not with me.” Leon just sighed heavily and then climbed up in bed next to me as if he knew he wanted to sleep there all along. Who would sleep on the hardwood floor of their own room when there’s only one tiny girl in their bed? There’s plenty of room. Moments later I was dead alseep. A few hours must have went by and I woke up to Leon shaking me out of a bad dream and the sun was peaking through the windows. I must have been tossing franctically because of the dream. I have had severe night terrors like that before. Vince has told me about them. Leon said “Are you okay?” I sat there in silence for a minute and said “I don’t think it was a dream, I think I was remembering stuff that actually happened. I saw the house. I remember what the house looked like. It was light blue, very torn down, it had bars on all the windows, and there was some word on the side in black spray paint. Not like grafitti but like a random ass word.” He said “If you saw it in person would you be able to point it out?” I shook my head and added “We would have to start where we did though so I can remember my steps exactly.” Leon said “We?” I said “Me and this girl Jackie. She’s the one who brought me there. We obviously ditched school. We walked there from the back of the school by the football field. It was like only a couple blocks away.” Leon jumped out of bed immediately and grabbed his keys and said “Lets go.” I didn’t hesitate and I don’t know why. In the car Leon mentioned something I already knew and said "I'm pretty sure that area is Mexican ran. Maybe Hector will know." I said "Don't get anybody else involved." He said "You're right." We started to drive past my school as the sun was just peaking up over the horizon. He stopped at a stop sign as we approached the end of the football field and said “Where do I go from here?” I said “Make a left, at the end that block make a right and go straight.” Putting myself in the same exact setting and retracing my steps has actually helped me remember a ton. As Leon approached the last direction, my heart sank in my stomach. I saw the house and an eerie feeling like I just knew that was it. A flash back came to mind. I saw myself running away from the house after squeezing through the side of the bars on one of the back windows. It was remembered from a first-person presepective, but I saw the memory as if it were a movie scene. Leon stopped in front of the house next door to the blue house and looked over at me and said “Is that the one?” I just slowly shook my head yes all while staring at the house with fear. He said “Are you ready to do this?” I look over at him with slight panic and said “Do what?” He said “Investigate.” We started to walk around towards the back of the hosue and I was holding on to his arm because I felt very weak in the knees when Leon noticed something I did at the same time. Leon reached for it and said “You must’ve squeezed through these bars. This is a torn piece of your shirt.” I shook my head and said “Yeah, I remember that.” The window was still open, and Leon squeezed his hand through the side of the bars and moved the curtain out of the way to look through. No one was in the room, but I saw my backpack and said “Shit.” Leon said “Don’t worry. We’ll get it back.” I looked over at him slightly confused at his reassurance as if he could simply walk in there with no problems and retrieve it. Leon and I both heard something from inside the house and Leon quickly reached his hand out of the window and said “Go back to the car and start it, and wait there.” I did exactly that and waited anxiously. I saw Leon circle back around to the front, open the screen door and kick the other door in. My heart started racing I was so scared. I heard three gun shots and I started to have a panic attack. Seconds later I see Leon run out with my backpack and jump into the already started car and drive off immediately. I didn’t even ask questions because I already knew. This was a side of Leon I’ve never seen before and it was a side of him I didn’t even think he could have. Vince, certainly, but not Leon. As we approached his house again he stopped in the driveway and said “Everything’s okay now.” I asked him “Was there a girl in there?” He said “No. I would’ve saved her.” I said “What about the cops?” Leon looked at me with an expression on his face as if he really wanted to say Are you serious? However, he said “With all the drugs around that house, the cops will just count the bodies and their blessings and close the case as a gang related drug crime. No ties back to you or me.” I wasn’t even freaking out and that’s what scared me. The fact that this feels like something I wanted concerns me and the fact that I feel so relieved concerns me even more. I feel like if Leon didn’t do it I honestly think that I eventually would’ve and that's truly the most concerning feeling about all of this. Leon walked me back into the house and picked up his phone and made a call. I obviously couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Leon said “Hey, it’s me…… I need a favor…… 616 14th ave….. I need you to make it look more gangster and Latin King related….” A few moments later I said “Who was that?” Leon told me everything and at this point after what just occurred I feel like he wouldn’t even hesitate to answer or try to beat around the bush and I was right. He said “A guy named Saul. He’s from New Mexico, that’s where I met him. He often comes to this area, or has guys who work for him in this area. Long story short…. He’s a lawyer with a lot dirty connections. He’s basically a lawyer to keep his guys and connections out of the cage.” I asked him “Why did you call him? I thought you said the killings weren’t going to lead back to us.” He said “I’m just making sure, Lacey.” The whole time Leon spoke in a monotone, depressed like voice. I went over and sat next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me. I asked “How many people have you killed before Leon?” He unwrapped his arm around me and sighed. He admitted “Just a few…….” I could see the tears build up in his eyes as he sighed as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest. I didn’t even think differently of him though, and I think that scared me a bit. I was still just as infatuated with him as I was when I didn’t know anything about him at all. I kissed him on the cheek as tears came down my face and I whispered “I’m sorry I got you into this.” He looked me in the eyes and “Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry that this even happened to you in the first place.” He kissed me on the forhead and our faces were so close together and I could feel the vibe that both of us wnated to kiss but neither of us were ballsy enough to make that move. Then all of the sudden a car screeched as it rolled up in the driveway. We both jumped up when we realized it was Vince. He ran towards the front door and Leon made me get under the bed and he shoved my clothes under there too. I had no time to ask why I had to hide. It wasn’t like we actually hooked up or anything, so there was honestly really nothing to hide from Vince. However, like I mentioned before, Vince is a react first, ask questions later, kind of guy. If he saw me in Leon's bedroom wearing his clothes he would've automatically assumed and started beating up Leon before any explanation could even be expressed. Vince came charging into Leon’s room and he seemed out of breath. He asked “Have you heard from Lacey?” Leon asked why and Vince responded very frustrated and said “Just answer the fucking question.” Leon said “No… Now tell me why.” Vince sighed with disbelief and said "I got a call from Hector last night. He said he saw Lacey walking around disoriented by a 7/11 in Koreatown. That's like only two blocks from here. I went there and couldn't see her anywhere. She was covered in bruises and blood and fucked out of her mind. I went by the school today also and she isn’t there.“ Leon said "What do we do?” Vince said “I’m going to go look for her. Maybe Tran picked her up as revenge. I’m going to kill that chink bastard.” Leon said “You need to think rationally.” Vince said “The only rational thing to do if Tran hurt, or even touched my sister, would be to kill him.” Leon said “But what if he didn’t? You can’t just run up in the Asian side of town with an accusation like that without starting a war that we made ammends to keep from happening between us and them.” Vince said “If he hurt or touched Lacey he’s going to get a lot more than a fucking war. I'm going to kill him and his whole goddamn family if he even touched the only thing in the world that I care about.” Then Vince stormed out and slammed the front door. I peaked my head out from under the bed and said “Why did you lie to him?” Leon shook his head and said “That's a dumb question. Because Vince doesn’t think rationally… If he knew what happened he would’ve done what I just did but a lot sloppier and he wouldn’t have been smart about it. Plus he doesn’t have Saul as a connection. Plus no time would have even existed to explain any of it to him anyway. He would've saw me and you and immediately assumed that we fucked.” So what if he storms through and kills whoever Tran is instead? Leon said “I’m going to call him in 20 minutes and tell him you called me from a payphone.” Twenty minutes go by and Leon makes that phone call and puts it on speaker. Vince said “A payphone from where?” Leon said “7/11 in Koreatown. I just picked her up. Come back to the house, she’s freaking out and she wants you.” I said “I’m in your clothes, do you really expect me to put those back on?” I said pointing to the dirty, blood covered clothes under the bed. He said “No, I’ll tell him I gave a change of clothes, upon your request.” Vince comes charging in just as he did before but instead of frustration he seemed relieved. Then he was frustrated again as he held me and said “What the fuck happened!? Why didn’t you call me? Why did you call Leon? Why didn’t you call me last night? And why are you in Leon’s clothes? And where were you? I checked the 7/11.” I said “I asked Leon for a change of clothes I didn’t want to be in those anymore.” Pointing to the dirty clothes I pulled back out from under the bed to make this more convincing and I continued with "And I was passed out in the back alley." Vince said “Okay.. Now tell me what the fuck happened.” I told him the lie Leon and I went over as we were waiting for him to get back to the house. I said “I ditched school yesterday with some girl I didn’t really know her. I just have a class with her and she asked if I wanted to come along so I did. We hung out all day at Joe’s Creek……. Later that night when we we’re going to walk home we got jumped…. I didn’t know where I was, and I don’t know where she went, I don’t know where she lives. I don't really know anything about her at all to be honest.” Vince looked like he was digesting the story as he was biting his thumbnail and he just stood me up and hugged me again. He said “Let’s go home.” I looked at Leon because I didn’t want to leave him, and he said “I’ll  be over later for dinner.” Vince turned around and hugged him too and said “Thanks for everything you do for my sister, the tutoring and well, everything.” He said “Of course man.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

A couple of days go by and I’ve been a hermit inside my bedroom. The only person who periodically came by to check on me was Leon. Today he knocked on my door and had a gigantic teddy bear in his hands and said “I figured you’d like this.” I laughed and hugged the big teddy bear. Leon sat down at the foot of my bed and said “You know you have to come out of this room eventually.” I said “I know…..” Leon then asked “How are you holding up?” I said “Fine…. How are you holding up?” He smirked and said “I’m fine.” I asked “Do you think Vince believes my story?” Leon said “Well he hasn’t shot up the neighborhood around your school, has he?” I laughed and said “So I guess that’s a yes?” Leon laughed and said “Honestly Lacey, I don’t know. I think he’s just glad you’re okay.” I just smiled and Leon got up, smiled back and walked away. A few moments later I walked down stairs for the first time in a few days and Vince grabs me and hugs me and said “Hey kiddo.” I smiled at him and he said “Your face healed up nicely,” and kind of chuckled and addded a joke to it and said "Well, not that it was any good before." I playfully punched him in the stomach and laughed. Then he asked “Were you scared?” I looked down and shamefully shook my head yes. He brushed my hair behind my ears and said “Well you’re safe now, kiddo.” Later that night the family was suiting up for another “run” and I started to walk back up to my room, and Vince said “Hey Lacey….” I turn around expecting him to finish his sentence. He looks at Dom and Dom shakes his head signaling 'yes’ and Vince turns back around and said “Want to come along?” My heart sank, because of course I wanted to but was I ready for this? Leon looked up at me and smiled. I said “Yes.” Vince said “Well… Suit up.” I said “I don't know what that means.." Vince said “I was joking. You can come but I’m not giving you a gun…. Yet.” As we were walking out the door Leon put his arm around me and said “Congrats. Welcome to the big leagues.” As we were driving down a similar road much like the one from the night of the warehouse incident we pull off to a different secluded warehouse. As we step inside they all start pulling white tarps off of these street racing cars. They were all black and incognito. Definitely the exact opposite of the flashy, colorful street racing cars with tricked out decal that they’re normally in. However, there was a green luminescent light from under the vehicles. I wasn't shocked. There's not way there wasn't at least one thing tricked out about the cars other than the cars themselves. Vince said “Lacey, you’re riding with Leon.” Leon put his arm around me and walked me over to his car. There were four cars in total. Letty and Jesse drove their own and Vince rode with Dom. Leon had his own too, and inside the car was another police scanner just like the one in his normal car. He looked over at me and said “Are you ready?” I said “For what exactly?” He said “Don’t worry, all we have to do is sit, well and drive too. It’ll be okay. We don’t have much to do unless an incident occurs.” Then he reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. The awkward tension began to rise as he didn’t exactly let go of my hand. Believe me, I enjoyed it but at the same time I was nervous. I’m the one who casually broke the connection of our hands and then he put his hand on the stick, put it into gear, and began to drive behind following the rest. He turns the police scanner on and after about twenty minutes of observing police whereabouts he picked up the walkie-talkie and said “No cops within five miles, we’re good.” Then he switched gears and began to drive faster. He glanced over at me and said “You’re being awfully quiet.” I said “I’m just soaking it all in.” He chuckled and said “Well, is it everything you thought it would be?” I said “No, not really. Thought it would be more… exciting.” Leon said “Well, it’s really only exciting for Vince, Dom, and Letty. Jesse and I are really just extras in case anything goes wrong.” I asked “How come Mia never comes with you guys?” He said “Mia doesn’t approve, plus she looks after you. These heists are fairly new, but when you were younger they were still doing shit like this. Someone needed to stay with you. She’ll turn her head and look the other way, and lie for us if police ever got involved, but she doesn’t want to be apart of it anymore than that. Dom doesn’t blame her either.” Meanwhile I can see the truck drive left to right on the road with screeching tires and loud honks. I asked “So why did I get invited to come along?” Leon sighed and said “Do you want the truth?” I said “Well, yeah.” He said “Because everyone knows you’re Vince’s little sister. Everyone knows how the Scaletta mentality works, and you’ve already proven our theory.” I said “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said “That if we don’t properly train you and take you along, that you’re going to be hard-headed and follow us anyway. Rather have you trained and prepared for any circumstance, than absent-mindedly trying to do this shit on your own.” He looked over at me and “You’re very brave though, I’ll give you that. I admire that, actually.” I just kind of smirked. He said “Now, stop being careless, and start being smart, like I know you are. I’m the one who convinced Vince to let you come along tonight. I said you needed it, and Dom actually agreed.” During that conversation is when the whole heist was going down. I think Leon tried to distract me in a way, but the walkie-talkie was going off and I can hear Vince say “I’m going in.” The tires and motion of the truck were even more sparatic than before. I heard one gun shot, and a lot of tire screeching. Then about thirty minutes later we all pull over and get out of the cars, I see Vince hop out of the semi-truck. They all move to the back of the truck and load the cars up with boxes and boxes of what seems to be DVD players, but the boxes obviously do not contain DVD players. I start to walk away while they’re distracted by the boxes to look inside the truck. I see there is no more windshield and the driver on the floor of the truck but there was no blood. Vince came up behind me and said “It was tranq bullet. Now come on.” I got back into the car with Leon and he said “That’s it.” I said “That’s it? What do we do with the boxes?” He said “Take what’s in them out at the garage, and burn the boxes.” I kept repeating “That’s it? Really? Like that’s it?” I said it in a manner of disappointment, I expected it to be more of a top-notch heist, but it didn’t even feel criminal it was so quick and they made it seem really easy. Leon said “Trust me Lacey, sometimes the operation gets really dirty, tonight was just an easy night.” I said “Why tranq bullets?” Leon said “We’re not murderers!” Then there was a pause because Leon remembered who he was talking to and said “Unless, we have to be. Plus, it keeps the FBI away.” I said “For how long though? If we keep doing it over and over, they’re bound to get involved eventually right? I mean they’re organized and pre-meditated heists, whether there’s dead bodies or not.” Leon looked at me as if he knew I was right but he didn’t want to admit it. The same way Vince looked. He said “I know… Nobody listens to me though. I’ve tried telling them this but Dom is the shot caller and Vince will back him up no matter what, and the rest of us just follow to get a cut, but also to protect them if anything goes down.” I said “So, you’re saying the FBI is bound to get involved eventually? Isn’t that dangerous?” He said “Lacey this lifestyle is dangerous regardless, but yes. However, Dom is smart, he knows his way around things,  he would never put himself in a position to where he spends years in prison again. He spent two years for that assault charge and always says he’ll die before he goes back. We'll just move on to a new kind of heist just like before and leave law enforcement on dead trails.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

A couple of days go by, and things began to fall back in routine. I’ve been going to school, doing what I need to do and going home, I haven’t seen Jackie at all, but is it bad that I don’t care? I mean, of course apart of me does because we basically went through the same thing, even though I apparently had a chance to fight back and she didn’t. She could be dead, but the other half of me doesn’t even care because it’s her fault. She got herself into that mess and nearly dragged me into it as well. I received a text from Leon telling me he’s out in the front of the school. I found it very odd because he never picks me up from the front of school. As I was getting into his car I noticed people staring at me, or maybe it was just Leon’s car. After all, it is an expensive, bright yellow Nissan Skyline GT-R imported from Europe with decal all over it. Still made me uncomfortable though to have the feeling of all eyes on me. I got in the car and asked him why he’s picking me up from the front. He said “I was already parked out here, might as well. Your school called me today to set up a conference.” I panicked said “A conference for what, and why did they call you?” He said “I’m the only one they got ahold of. I only answered because I thought it was you, I reocgnized the school number. Anyways, they wanted a conference because there’s apparently rumors about you going around at school… And because you've been skipping a lot.” I said “What?? What are the rumors?” He said “Petty teenage bullshit. How you probably hired someone to scare all your teachers into giving you good grades………And hired those same people to kill Jackie.” I screamed “What?” Leon said “Don’t  worry Lacey, I worked it all out. I told them you didn’t even know a Jackie, and that the whole grade thing just sounds stupid and petty.” I said “No, I mean Jackie is actually dead?” Leon said “I’m having that Saul I told you about ask one of his accomplices to look into it. So, I don’t know yet, and it’s not your fault so don’t even begin to feel that way. She got you into that mess. If she’s alive she’s the one who should be feeling bad for you.” After a short pause he added "And Tara called.... You don't have any diseases." I said "There's always a bright side."   After a few more momets of silence, Leon asked “Do you want to come over to my place? Maybe smoke a little bit, and chill? You seem stressed out.” I said “Yeah, sure.” After we smoked Leon confessed some of his past to me. He said “I started drifting when I was fourteen. I’ve been to a lot of places, and met a lot of people. I’ve never felt as comfortable around anyone as I do with you…..and your family.” I said “Our family.” He chuckled and said “Of course.” I asked “What made you stay with us?” He said “Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I was just tired of running. Whether it be that I was running from something or running to find something, I was just tired of it. However, I am sure glad that I did stay.” I asked “Where all have you been?” He said “A lot of places, I’ve been to Chicago, I did this whole restaurant bus boy job, but at the end of the day, I worked for this guy in the porn industry.” I shot him this look and he said “No, I’ve never participated in the porn industry… I just did some errands for him. Running guns and money and being pretty much a taxi driver for his porn whores. I also stayed in New Orleans for awhile. I went by the name Sean Riley. I was boosting cars and working a chop shop, much like I do now. I’ve also been to New Mexico. Met this kid named Jesse and I sold meth for him. He’s how I met Saul, and gained him as a connection. Those aren’t the only places I’ve been to, but definitely the only ones I’m willing talk about.” I said “How did you meet the doctor’s husband?” He said “Oh, Jax? I did a couple of jobs for him and his crew. They’re from a town called Charming, it’s up north closer to the Nevada border. Very ironic name though considering what goes on in that town.” We went silent for a little bit and he laid on the bed next to me and said “So, tell me more about you..” I laughed but he said “I’m serious. It’s so obvious that you hold a lot of shit in. I think after all we’ve been through together and all I’ve told you so far, you should be able to open up.” I didn't say anything and he said "No pressure, though." I said “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything like that. I just don’t know how to share what’s on my mind, I don’t know where to begin.” He said “Start with what bothers you the most. Or even what excites you the most.” I said “My insecurities. My constant feeling of never being good enough.” He said “Well, I can tell you right now, that you are more than good enough. You are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re intelligent, and good looking. There’s no reason for you to be insecure.” I smiled at him and began to tear up a little. Then he said "Now what excites you the most?" I said "Adventure." He said "What do you consider adventurous?" I said "Rollercoasters, traveling, or pretty much anything that comes with a good story." He just smiled really big at me and said "You're the kind of girl to create good times and a story no matter what the scenario is." I thought to myself that he knows me a lot better than I know me. It felt great to be honest. I continued with more things that I like because I'm so secure with my vulnerabilities and what I am on the inside. I never really talk about these things nor do I really ever have anyone as an outlet to express what I like anyway. I said "I like to read, write, draw, paint, and make shit." He said "So you love art?" I said "More than anything. You can express whatever you want without having to talk about it. Or in art such as writing, you can make up aything, and live in a different world for awhile. Or be a completely different person." He said "I knew you were artsy. You just have that vibe. That old-soul kind of vibe. It's easy to see that you see the world in a different perspective. It's even easier to see that the world is your biggest enemy. Your way of thinking, is other-worldly. It expands far beyond this tiny little snow globe of a planet. You're a down to Mars kind of girl." I never realized he noticed me enough to even have that description of me. I started tearing up but in a joyous way. It felt great knowing that someone can see that side of me. I rested my head down on his chest and held me. As I closed my eyes and began drifting to sleep I began to settle my focus on nothing but his heart beat. Hearing it flutter nervously made me so happy and content with the moment. After nearly a couple hours, we are jolted awake by a phone call. Leon said “It’s Vince.” I didn’t know if that was like a warning to be quiet or just a heads up of who was calling, but I stayed quiet anyway. Besides if Vince was worried about me, he’d call me, not Leon, especially considering he’s unaware just how much time we actually do spend together. So I knew there was nothing to panic about. Leon was quiet pretty much throughout the entire course of the phone call, and I can hear Vince talking, he sounded frustrated but not angry. Leon ends the conversation with a heavy sigh and says “I’ll be right there.” I said “What was all that about?” He said “Some asshole at the garage is trying to pick a fight with Vince over one of the cars him and I worked on. He’s complaining about the brakes which I worked on by myself. I know damn well there isn’t a thing wrong with them, nobody has ever came back with complaints. He’s just trying to make some money by getting a bullshit refund, and Vince knows that’s what he’s trying to do. I mean we worked on the car a month ago, if there was truly something wrong with the brakes he would've came back a long time ago. But now I have to go save the day so Vince doesn’t end up in jail….. Again.” I said “Can I come?” He said “Duh, I wouldn’t leave you at this house alone anyway. I don’t trust or even like my roommates, and I especially don’t like the way they look at you. I can’t wait to move back in with you guys after that room is finished.” I was honestly totally unaware his roommates ever even stared at me. I used to be so observant with the world around me, and ever since Leon and I have become closer, the only thing my world consists of is him. I don’t know what love is but I can tell you that seeing the sparkle in his eyes, and the brightness of his smile makes my heart melt. The way he talks to me and protects me and shows an interest in me and what I’m thinking, and how everything about him from the way he thinks, the way he perceives the world, the way he looks at me, how it makes me feel like the world could end today and I’d be absolutely content knowing that I would be by his side when it did. If that’s not love then I don’t think I’ll ever know love. Once we arrive to the garage, Leon immediately walks over to the asshole customer. Vince notices that I step out of Leon’s car and he hesitantly walks over to me as if he was conflicted about whether he should confront me or stay by Leon’s side just in case anything gets ugly between him and the customer. However, he walks over to me anyway and he said “What were you doing with Leon?” I said “Tutoring.” He said “Oh really? Your teacher called yesterday and said you’re doing excellent and making A’s in the class now.” I said in a condenscending tone “Yeah, thanks to Leon.” Vince gave me this look as if he knew there was way more to this story than what was being said, but the look also expressed that he didn’t want to believe that there was and that he needed proof to make such accusations. So he said “You hungry?” I said “Yeah, why?” He said “What do you mean why? I’m obviously going to feed you, that’s why.” I said “Where we going? That's what I was getting at.” He said “I’m grilling when we get home.” Vince starts to walk away then turns back around and says “Can you stick around here for a bit? I’ll drive you home.” I was hesitant to answer but obviously couldn’t say no nor did I really even want to because I do love spending time with my brother, but I also loved spending time with Leon. Obviously two very different vibes, and I was really feeling Leon’s vibes more. I also figured that Vince just wants me to stick around so he can poke at this Leon thing and try to get more answers from me. After Leon deals with the customer the customer walks into the front of the shop where me and Vince are now, and starts yelling and says “I’m never coming here again! Go fuck yourself.” Then proceeds to storm off outside and Vince grabs the baseball bat under the counter and Leon tries to stop Vince but once Vince makes up his mind there’s no changing it, no matter who you are. Vince walks up to the guys car and smashes the window then opens the door and drags the guy out, slams him on the ground, and nearly hit him too, but Leon tackled Vince. With Leon still holding him back, Vince yells “Good, stay the fuck away from here you fat fuck! And you’re not getting a refund.” The fat guy said “I’m calling the fucking cops.” Vince said “Fantastic, tell them about the coke inside your fucking car as well.” The fat guy puts his phone down and gets back in his car and speeds off. I guess his cocaine was more important that rip-off scam to get money. Leon shoves Vince and said “What the fuck is your problem?” Vince said “I have no problems now. Fat guy's gone.” We all walk back into the shop and Leon says “Come on Lacey.” Vince immediately says “She’s closing the shop with me.” Leon looks at me and back at him and said “Oh, alright….” Then he looks at me smiles a bit and walks off. I’m not too worried about it, because I’ll see him tonight at dinner when we get home. Now the shop is empty, and it’s just me and Vince. He asks “Are you mad at me?” I give him this very puzzled look and said “No….. Why the hell would I be mad at you?” He said “I don’t know, you just don’t talk to me anymore.” I said “You’re the one who doesn’t talk to me anymore. You used to tell me stories all the time about stuff that never really made sense until now, but that storytime would be the highlight of my day. I couldn’t wait for you to come home and tell me those stories.” He laughed and said “Yeah….. Things are just…. Different now.” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Back in the day when we would race it wasn’t even to make a living or a profit. It was just for fun. We’d even race each other. When Dom and I were around fifteen years old, we put together this group, and even Letty was apart of it, and we’d just race for the fuck of it. Some people go to the clubs on Friday nights, but we’d go racing. It was just our thing. But things got more complicated than that after we ran into Johny Tran for the very first time when I was like twenty or so. I didn’t even know there was such thing as a "race territory,” and of course Dom being who he is, that’s where it all began. Racing to make a profit, to keep territory, and remain the powerball of the streets instead of racing just because it was fun. Things got even more out of hand shortly after that when Dom’s dad died. Dom created Race Wars, and the first monthly illegal street race was born three weeks later. Then a week after that first street race Dom went to prison for two years, which left me in charge of our newly built empire. Things got really ugly really fast. I had to do a lot of shit that still haunts me, but I had to do it.“ I just sit quietly waiting for more. Vince says "Do you know why I’m telling you all of this?” I said “No, not really, but I don’t mind.” He laughed a little bit and said “Yeah, I know you don’t, but the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want you to have the opprotunities I didn’t even try to seek when I was your age. I see everything in you that I never had. You have potentional, for both worlds honestly, my world, and the real world. I never really realized how much of a fuck up I was until even the teachers gave up on me. Every day I’d skip class. When I did show up to class it was against my own will because I got caught skipping, but I wouldn’t do any work. I just wanted to sleep. When the teacher wouldn’t let me sleep I’d ask for a bathroom pass and walk around the halls with the pass in my hand for like thirty minutes and walk back into class when there was like fifteen minutes left.” He laughed and continued with “Your principal really hated me. I guess that’s why he has it out for you too. It got to the point where the teachers wouldn’t even hand me an assignment, because they knew it would just be a waste of paper and when I would ask to go to the bathroom they’d tell me to just grab my stuff and go, because they knew exactly what I was going to do.” He paused for a moment and continued with “You’re super smart, I want you to be successful, the legal way. I’m not even asking you to be a doctor or a lawyer, I just want you to have a better life. However, seeing how this life is all you know considering you were raised in it, I wouldn’t expect you to just turn your back on it. You have a loyalty mentality like me. I just want you to have at least the opprotunity to have something better. To have that opprotunity to make a choice. I didn't have that choice. It was this life or nothing. It’s too late for me, but it’s not too late for you. I want to see you be the first Scaletta to walk across that stage and receive a high school diploma. I left a shitty reputation behind in that school, and they’re expecting you to do the same but I want you to prove those fuckers wrong.” I asked him what he did in school when he would skip and the first thing he said changed the subject entirely and it was “I smoked weed on the same corner where you sell it.” Then he shot me this look I was shocked, and he said “Yeah, I know what you’re doing. I have connections too.” He stood up and said “I’m not upset with you, but I just want you to know selling weed and simply smoking it are two very different things, and two very different charges to catch. I want you to be careful, because if I don’t even go to your school nor talk to the high school kids you sell it too, and still can find out what you’re doing so can they.” Then he walked over to me and kissed my on the top of my head and said “Lets go home, I’m starving.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

As we got home Mia had already made dinner because “we were taking too long.” So Vince and I sat down to plates that were already made. Later after dinner I was sitting on the back porch reflecting on the heart to heart Vince and I just had. It was the first one in ages. Leon shortly joins me on the back porch knowing that’s where I like to sit after dinner. He came up and sat next to me on the steps and said “So what did you and Vince do after I left? You guys took awhile.” I said “We had a heart to heart kind of moment. I think there’s been a lot on his mind lately. He talked about a lot of stuff. Mostly just how he wants me to have a better life than him and how he doesn’t exactly want me to be apart of the street racing world. He admitted on the way home that’s one of the reasons he was so hesistant about everything – teaching me to drive, and telling me about what it is you guys do. He had to tell me after I pretty much found out on my own. He knew he couldn’t keep it from me anymore.” Leon just sighed and said “Damn. That’s good though. You guys need more heart to hearts.” I asked “Why do you say that?” He said “Lacey, you’re literally the only reason Vince wakes up in the morning. He used to be so careless until one night he got jumped really badly. Didn’t come home for weeks because he didn’t want you to see him that way. He had to go to the hospital and everything. Ever since then he’s taken a lot more precautions than he normally would, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true. It’s because he doesn’t want to put you through…. Losing him. Not like that. I honestly truly believe if it weren’t for you, Vince wouldn’t be here anymore. He’s very depressed, he just hides it from you, and covers it up with anger.” My heart sank to the floor after Leon told me this, I literally never knew any of this, and Vince carries both of our burdens, he’s supposed to be the strong Scaletta. I couldn’t hold back the tears this time and I let them all out. Leon pulled me in and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped both his arms around me and kissed my head which is something he seem to be doing a lot lately, but I don’t mind and he said “Everything’s going to be okay though. I promise.” The way he made promises to me and the way he always made them sound so reassuring was alluring. I still was sobbing pretty badly and Leon grabbed my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs and smiled and said “I didn’t mean to upset you, Lacey. I’m really sorry.” Then he kissed me on the nose. I was in a whirlwind of emotions at this point, and honestly was not thinking at all, and I leaned in and kissed Leon… On the lips. It lasted a lot longer than I thought it would and some tongue even slipped from both of us. My whole body was tingling, but then abruptly Leon leans back and slowly licks his lips and says “I’m sorry Lacey, but….” I cut him off because I didn’t even want to finish hearing what he had to say, now I was embarrassed. I said “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Then I got up and ran off to my bedroom. I started balling my eyes out, because of what Leon told me and now because I ruined everything between Him and I. Should’ve just let him make the first move, but in all honesty it probably would’ve never happened. I was so blinded by my feelings that I didn’t think of this in terms of reality. I’m sixteen, he’s twenty. He would’ve never made the first move. I should’ve known he’d push away if I did. I literally just want to crawl in bed and stay here for the rest of my life.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

Two weeks go by and Leon and I haven’t really talked to one another besides the casual smile when we walk pass each other. He would smile first attempting to initiate that he isn't mad at me or whatever, but I'm mad at myself, and I figured he only did it to make feel better about the humiliation I brought upon myself. Today, I thought I was alone in the house, but of course Leon was the only other person there. We awkwardly met in the kitchen, he was already in there making food, so I tried to turn away as quickly as possible hoping he didn’t notice my attempt to abruptly exist. However, as I was turning around he said “Lacey!” I turned back around and didn’t say anything and just looked at him all while attempting to hide the hurt I felt inside. He said “You know you don’t have to avoid me..?” I said “I fucked up, and embarassed the hell out of myself, and I can’t take that back. What do you expect?” He said “You didn’t even embarrass yourself.” I said “I obviously did, just save it.” He got a little bit more of a stricter tone and said “You didn’t.” We both paused for a breif moment and he walked closer to me and said in a more quiet tone “I liked the kiss.” I just looked up at him with disbelief to what he just said, because here I am thinking that I totally ruined everything, and that he won’t even want to talk to me anymore. Before I could even say anything though Leon continued and said “It’s just that…. You’re Vince’s little sister….. And you’re….. Sixteen.”  I said “Who cares how old I am? You’re only twenty. That’s a four year difference, it’s not even a big deal. It’s not like you’re fifty-something.” Leon’s facial expression indicated that he agreed with me, and that he understands where I am coming from but his words contradict his expression as he says “But the state of California law says–” I cut him off and said in a very condenscending, sarcastic tone “Ohhhhhhhh, so we follow the law now?” Then Leon admitted “Lacey, I don’t give a shit about the law to be honest, and I know that four years isn’t a big deal… It’s just…” I said “It’s just what then? You care about what people are going to say?” He said “No, but yes. I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea. They don’t know me or you, but they won’t care. They’ll just assume that I’m some pervert who took advantage of you.” I said “But you didn’t take–” He cut me off this time and said “I know I didn’t take advantage of you. You’re the one who kissed me, but like I said nobody is going to care, because in society’s eyes even four years is a "big fucking deal” considering you’re not eighteen.“ I can't even argue and have to agree, because it’s true. So many people would look down on us simply because of the slight age difference. I said "I know…. It’s fucking stupid though. If I was eighteen and you were fourty-two nobody would care, but god forbid you’re literally twenty and I’m sixteen……” Leon just rested his hand on my shoulder because he knew I was getting flustered and frustrated. He said “I don’t care about people and their opinions, but at the same time, I don’t want to be deemed as a pedophile, but also you’re Vince’s little sister.” I said “I hate being titled as Vince’s little sister. I am my own person, and I do not live in his fucking shadow. I make my own decisions, and I’ve paved my own path.” He said “Of course, Lacey. I know that. I meant that Vince would literallly fucking kill me becuase of the fact that you are his little sister.” I said “Well, who said we have to tell anybody?” He just looked up at me with that same facial expression as before signaling that he agrees but as if he can’t agree. He said “Lacey, I just think we should wait on it…” I said “For how long?” He said “Until…… You’re 18….” I just said “Yeah, great. So am I just supposed to sit back and watch girls throw themselves at you for two years? Do you really think after that I’ll feel the same in two years, as if all the whoring around you’re going to do just disappears because I turn eighteen and we can live "happily ever after?”“ I began to storm off but he grabbed my arm and said "But, we don’t have to act like strangers Lacey.” I said “What do you expect Leon? I can’t change the way I feel about you, and quite frankly I don’t want to. We can’t just pretend the kiss and this conversation didn’t happen.” He said “I’m not asking you to forget it happen, and quite frankly, I don’t want to forget it either. I like you, I really do, but it’s a huge risk liking you, Lacey. Going to jail for boosting cars, or even street racing isn’t nearly as bad as getting locked up and portrayed as this evil human being and registering as a "sex offender.” You got to understand where I am coming from, Lacey.” He continued with, “We just can’t be in a relationship right now, but we don’t have to act like strangers. I still want to be there for you, like I was. I don’t want to lose the connection we had.” I said “Me either but it's my fault that we did….” He lifted my chin to advert my eyes to his and he said “You didn't ruin anything, Lacey. So can we hug it out?” I just smiled and gave him a giant squeeze to end the conversation. As days went by, things are still definitely awkward, but I’m just more content at the fact that at least he doesn’t hate me for it and to my surprise he even admitted to liking me too. Of course I don’t want anything bad to happen to Leon if we were to get caught, but I also don’t want to wait two more years either. I'm being a little selfish, but I can't help the way that I feel. I’m always just really frightened at the thought that my feelings for him won’t be the same in two years time, even more terrified thinking that he'll end up falling in love with an older girl with more experience in those two years. I don’t want to lose this feeling ever, but I have to prep myself for that possibility, and that's what's hurting the most. I’ve gotten back into things I was doing before Leon and I began hanging out all the time. It helped distract my mind from it usually even though most of time the thought of him crept it’s way into whatever I was working on, whether it was painting, drawing, or writing. The thought of what him and I could be somehow still managed to express itself in my art, but sometimes I wouldn’t even realize it. I would literally be on auto-piolet and intuned to the art itself without even realizing I interpreted Leon in some form into the art until afterwards. I started trying different forms of art such as crochet. I made myself some cute crocheted halter tops and bikinis, and I even made bracelets and jewlery with other materials. Still didn’t help me completely distract myself from him. I slowly and cautiously opened my brother’s bedroom door and went at ease after I found out he wasn’t in there. I don’t really know what I was doing in there but I started looking through the night stand drawer, and saw a bunch of old pictures and other miscellaneous things including some weed and a bowl for smoking weed. Then my attention went elsewhere and instantly I got an idea when my eyes focused on his guitar. He used to try to teach me how to play when I was younger and when he wasn’t so busy all the time. I still remember a few things, but I decided to pick it up and wing it. I sat back down on the bed and stroked the strings a little bit. Just the vibration and soft, unintelligent melody was so soothing. However to my surprise Vince walks in the room, we both shocked each other. I quickly put the guitar back down in the corner and he said “You don’t have to be a sneak about it. Whenever you want to try it out you can.” I laughed and said “I suck though.” He laughed and said “Not true. Everyone starts somewhere. I wasn’t born a good guitarist, I became one.” He then walked over to the guitar, picked it up and said “Here. You can have it. It’s yours now.” I said “You don’t have to do that.” He said “Lacey, it’s a gift. Just take it. Besides, I like the electric guitar better anyway.” I said “Thank you, Vince.” He said “No problem. You better write some bangers though.” Then we both laughed.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

I stayed late at school on a Friday night simply because my after school activites consisted of hanging out with Leon, and since I can’t really do that anymore I seriously looked for every excuse, and club, or extracurricular activity to participate in just to avoid going home, and being there alone with him. It’s not that I was scared of him or anything like that, even the awkward tension didn’t seem to quite be there anymore. I just knew that if I stayed around him I put myself and him in a bad position. We both are extremely infatuated with each other, and for his sake of not being deemed as a pervert sex offender, we have to refrain from putting each other in those situations where another heat of the moment kiss could take place and that could inevitabley push things further down the road, if you catch my drift. I participated in the art show tonight, I even showcased some of my artwork. I showcased them anonymously though, I’m not really great with constructive criticism, so if there were critics in the crowd who didn’t like my work, at least they wouldn’t know the face of the artist and I didn’t necessarily have to hear about it. Quinn, who I met in the art department who I helped with after school lighting and sound checks for theater, came up to me and said “I know that’s your work over there submitted “anonymously..” I said “Cool.” He asked “Why on earth would you do that? They’re extremely good, and you should hear what people are saying about them.” I said “That’s exactly the reason I anonymously submitted them, Quinn. I didn’t want to hear what people had to say about them.” He said “Even if they were extremely nice things?” I said “Well, those wouldn’t be so bad to hear, but it’s the negative ones I’m afraid of, and the bad always comes with the good. If you want the good, you have to expect the bad, but if you don’t want the bad at all, you have to sacrifice the good.” Quinn laughed and stated “Sometimes I feel like your mind drifts off and you make vague analogies that fit the topic at hand but also issues in your life you don’t explicitly bring up.” I said “You caught me. I have a knack for that.” I said it in a sarcastic tone to hopefully direct the conversation to a new topic, but he was shockingly right about my analogies. Didn’t realize I did them that often, nor did I realize Quinn and I had that many conversations for him to notice such a thing. Maybe he was just a great observer like me. After the artshow I stayed and helped clean up the gym, the sun has completely set by now and I was a little uneasy about walking home through the horrible neighborhoods, that never used to seem that bad, but now I know their stories. I also got eerie flashbacks from the Jackie incident, and how the last time I was in the streets by myself at nighttime, I was in a dazed drug-induced trance covered in blood. By the way, Jackie has still never been found, which doesn’t make this eerie feeling any better. Anyways, that night I ran to Leon as a safety net but now I’m too afraid to even call him to ask him for a ride home. Besides it’s Friday night, so he’s probably fighting right now anyway. Yes – fighting. Leon has always had a passion for mixed martial arts and UFC. His passion landed him an “under the table” job at a sketchy bar that made bets on the fighters. Winner gets the loot. Seriously, nothing my family dabbled in to make quick cash was ever legal. Then again, most outlets for "quick cash" rarely ever are. I started to walk home anyway after I gained the courage. Besides being outside the school with all the lights off seem to set off an even creepier vibe. I’m walking and start to observe my surroundings. I start thinking to myself out loud, “Okay, It’s Friday night, I’m sure a lot of parties are going to be taking place throughout the neighborhoods, expect hollaring, shouting, and a lot of cars. Don’t panic, you can do this, if you can practically Grand Theft Auto Mia’s car, and sneak around a secluded warehouse guarded by armed family members who would shoot first at a shadow in the woods sneaking up on the place, and investigate later, then I can simply walk home from school.” A car pulled up next to me, and as I’m gripping the pocket knife I stole from Vince’s end table drawer, I ease the grip when I realize it was Quinn. He said “I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I noticed you walking home and it’s pretty dark and this is a pretty sketchy area, if you don’t mind, then I won’t mind giving you a ride home.” I said “Actually, yeah, that’ll be good. Thank you.” I didn't particularly trust Quinn, as with anybody really, but I trusted him more the unpredictability of these streets. The car ride between me and Quinn wasn’t awkward, it was just boring to me because we obviously don’t relate on very many levels. However, he is a very nice guy, it’s just that I’m obviously more into perculiar, adverse guys like Leon and Quinn was definitely neither of the two. Quinn was an open book and he talked about everything he liked right off the bat, seriously lacking the enigmas vibe, and he doesn’t seem too adverse as he participates in a lot of school activites so he doesn’t really have time to be bad even if he wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, Quinn is very cute, but his baby face compared to Leon’s scruffy face just didn’t compare. I noticed in his backseat that there was a bucket from Dunkin Donuts and inside the bucket was a rumpled up brown apron, which I assumed was his work apron, and that he worked at Dunkin Donuts, but I wasn’t going to bring it up unless he did. I noticed the bucket said “glazed” on it, and I thought to myself why would he steal and wash out a bucket of donut glaze? He seemed really odd at times. His life story and things that he has interests in seemed rehearsed and he didn't seem too compassionate towards the things he claimed to have passion for. However, as it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen or encountered, I let the thought go. We finally pulled up in front of my house, and Leon, Vince, and Dom are outside drinking beers. As I was hoping for a quick exit Quinn wants to start small talk again and says “So you live in Echo Park? Kind of far from the school.” I said “Yeah, I used to go to the one closer but I had to transfer.” He then asks “Do you know the guys on the porch?” I said “Yeah, one of them is my brother, why?” He said “Just want to make sure you get inside safely.” I laughed and said “That’s not your job, Quinn. Thanks for the ride though.” As I’m walking up the path to the porch I already know they’re going to question me and ask about the guy that dropped me off so I’m already prepared for it. Vince says “Who was that?” I said “Quinn. He helps with a lot of after school activities and drove me home so I didn’t have to walk.” Leon abruptly said “Why didn’t you call me?” Vince gave him this look and then shot it back at me and said “Or me??” I said “I was just going to walk home, he offered.” Vince didn’t seem to care much about Quinn, just my well-being, and after seeing he offered out of “the kindness of his heart” Vince sort of let it go. However, Leon looked enraged and I can obviously assume why he would be, but then again, it was his choice to wait until I turned eighteen. So am I supposed to be lonely and single for two years? Not that I was even interested in Quinn in that manner, but I didn’t care if Leon thought so at the moment. A few hours later, Leon knocks on the doorway of my room, and I look at him and can immediately tell he’s had quite a lot to drink. I said “The door was already opened why’d you knock?” He completely ignored my question and continued to poke the Quinn situation and asked “So who’s Quinn?” I said “I already told you guys, he’s just a kid I met from doing after school stuff. He offered to give me a ride home.” He asked “Do you like him?” I sighed and said “No Leon, I don’t, not like that. Even if I did though, am I not allowed to? You and I are not together, and can’t be for two years. Am I supposed to be the same lonely little girl I've always been and wait on you while you have a fan club of whores who practically jump in your pants every time they see you?” Leon didn’t respond right away and said “I don’t entertain the whore fan club, I don’t want to.” I said “Well that’s good, but Quinn seriously is just a kid who offered me a ride home it’s really not that big of a deal.” I changed the subject and said “So anyways… Do you want me to clean the cuts on your face?” He smirked and said “Sure Dr. Lacey.” As I have Leon’s face gripped in my hand I start to feel the urge to cry, and I seriously do not even know why. Leon asked “Will this shit hurt?” I said “It’ll sting a little bit, but you’ve been drinking so you probably won’t even feel it.” After I clean his face we talk a little bit like we used to. He saw the guitar and started telling me stories about him learning the guitar and I thought to myself “Does he just know how to do everything?” In the middle of the guitar conversation though, he leaped up and ran to my bathroom to puke his brains out. I slowly crept in behind him and started rubbing his back. I do the same thing for Vince and Jesse when they have too much to drink, so it wasn’t even sexual. By this point Leon was slurrig his words, and couldn’t keep his eyes open. I let him lay down in my bed, and I put the bathroom garbage can next to him, he drifted asleep almost instantly, and to keep things from being super awkward in the morning, I borrowed some blankets from the living room couch, and slept on the floor. I know this is pretty much a contradiction from the night I slept in his bed and made him sleep next to me because it was his room, and his bed, I wouldn’t want him sleeping on the floor. However, due to recent events I figured it would just be wiser to sleep on the floor. Also, just in case someone decides they want to walk into my room, and get the wrong idea. Say Vince, for example.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

I wake up to a gentle shake on my shoulder, and I open my eyes to see Leon standing over me. Once I became fully aware of my surroundings upon waking up, Leon sat down next to me on the floor with his back resting against the side of my bed. I sat up and said “You okay?” He said “Yeah. Thanks.” There was a long pause and then he said “So…. What did happen last night? I remember a lot but can’t really remember much after the guitar conversation.” I said “Well, actually the guitar conversation is the last thing we talked about. You threw up and passed out literally in the middle of that conversation.” He said “Damn. Alright. Why didn’t you bring me to my room? Just curious.” I gave him this look and said “Do you think I’m strong enough to carry you princess style down a flight of stairs? You could barely stand and walk over to bed let alone a flight of stairs.” He started to chuckle and said “Thanks for taking care of me. You didn’t have to.” I said “I didn’t really have a choice, but I didn’t mind either way. Besides, there have been times where you’ve helped my drunk ass before.” He laughed and said “Well, that’s different. I’m a man.” I said “So what? Man or woman, tall or short, fat or skinny, if you drink alcohol you’re going to get drunk, and if you drink enough, you’ll get super wasted. It's what's supposed to happen and it happens to everybody.” I changed the topic and asked “So Leon, did you win the fight last night?” He said “Of course I did. Did you expect any less?” Then he grinned really hard. He said “Oh by the way, there’s going to be a party here tonight after the race.” I said “Am I allowed to come to the race?” He said “That’s up to Vince, not me. If it were up to me then yeah, of course you could.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him. Thirty minutes later I saw Vince and I started a casual conversation with him. I’m either really horrible at this or Vince is really good at this, he knew right away I wanted something. He said “What is it Lacey?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “You’re either about to ask me for money, or something else, but you’re going to ask for something, I can tell..” I said “Well damn, alright, but I want to know…. If… I…..” He said “Quit stalling. Just spit it out.” I said “Can I go to the race tonight?” He said “No, not tonight. I’m actually in the race tonight instead of Dom.” I said “So, what’s that mean?” He said “I just… I don’t want you in that environment unless I’m watching you.” I said “So you don’t trust Leon, Dom, Letty, or Jesse?” He said “I never said that. However, there is going to be an after party at the house tonight. You’re more than welcome to hang out with the party, I might let you even drink or smoke.” I said “I smoke anyways.” He looks up at me and said “Oh yeah, I forgot.” I said “Really?” He said “Nah, I know you smoke and drink behind my back. Why wouldn’t you? I’d do the same shit.” I said “So you don’t care about drinking or smoking, but I can’t come watch a race?” He said “Lacey, it’s more than that, half the street racing world in the city shows up to these things. Anything could happen in seconds. I just don’t want you to be there.” I said “Will I ever get to go to one?” “Haven’t you already?” He stated referring to the night I snuck behind his back with Chandler and I said “You know what I mean.” He sighed and said “Yeah. One day.” Vince seemed a lot more frustrated than his usual days. Yes, even a casual Vince was frustrated, but today seemed a bit more than normal. Dom came out the back door, and called to get Vince’s attention and cocked his head. Vince looked back at me and said “Alright kiddo, I got to go. I’ll see you tonight.” Then he grabbed the top of my head and playfully shook it a little bit. He’s been doing that since I was little, that was his way of affection. He’s not the hugs and kisses kind of guy, Vince barely pats people on the shoulder. I started to head back to my room and realized the whole house had left. I figured this was the perfect time to walk around the house in my underwear and listen to loud music, and ya know, do shit you can’t normally do in a house with six other people. After two hours go by and still nobody is home I’ve grown bored as hell. I laid on my bed and rolled over to my back. I started thinking about all kinds of random shit, like people normally do when they’re laying down all by themselves. Then I started thinking about Leon. I thought about him to the point where I inevitabley turned myself on. Then I realized that I’m all alone, I can be as loud as I want and not have the paranoia of someone walking in on me. I sat up and took my shirt off and laid back down. I started to rub my body softly creating goose bumps and making my nipples hard. I closed my eyes and slowly let my hand ease it’s way underneath my panty line. I was instantly wet, I don’t do this often, because I hardley ever get chances like this. I slowly started rubbing my clit and lubricating my fingers. I gradually squeezed two of my fingers inside of me, and back and fourth they went, and faster and faster they got. It was pretty quick, but it felt so good. I started squirting and I knew that I was cumming. I’m not that inexperienced, I know what my body can do. It's the opposite sex and their genitals that I'm inexperienced with. After I finished, I relaxed and listened to my rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. Then I got up and realized that I was so eager to get a quick fix in that I didn’t even lay a towel down. I rolled my eyes because now I had to wash my sheets. Sometimes, I wish I was a guy. Stuff like this would be much easier. I can’t even pleasure myself without having to do chores. I hopped in the shower real quick to wash myself off, then I wrapped a towel around me, grabbed my sheets and headed downstairs to the laundry room which was in a nook room behind the kitchen. As I turned the washer on I heard the back door close and my heart sank. I wasn’t even doing anything anymore, but me washing my sheets in a towel just looks suspicious, and I don’t really want the awkward tension of someone even suspecting that I just got done masturbating. I turn the corner and saw that it was Mia with a bunch of grocery bags. She said “Hey Lacey, what’s up?” I said “Just got out of the shower. Did some laundry. I don’t know. Had a pretty boring day. Are all these groceries for the party tonight?” I tried to abruptly change the topic and get the attention off of me and it worked, she looked up really fast and said “No. What party?” I said “Leon and Vince both said they’re having an after party tonight after the race.” Mia rolled her eyes and said “Ugh, that’s great.” I said “We have parties all the time.” She said “I just wish I got informed. I was going to cook dinner tonight for everyone, but I’m not making food for other people to eat it, fuck that. We’ll just wait 'til tomorrow.” Mia placed both hands on the counter and as I begin walking away she said “So Lacey…” I turned around expecting her to just continue and she laughed and said “So, how’s your love life?” I said “What?” She laughed some more and said “When you used to help me out at the cafe everyday you told me you had a crush on some guy who you said didn’t even know you existed.” I said “Ahhhh, yeah. I remember that.” I actually totally forgot about that, and evidently I was referring to Leon, and at that time I would’ve never imagined him and I would be as close as we are now nor did I ever expect him to develop any sort of feelings for me, so I literally thought the conversation was harmless and that I wouldn’t ever have to bring it up again. Mia said “So does he know you exist now?” I laughed and said “More than you know.” She said “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said “I kind of told him how I felt but he didn’t feel the same way back.” Mia said “I’m sorry. There’s plenty of guys out there Lacey, don’t worry about it.” I only said what I said to get Mia to end the conversation, which she did, but I wasn’t expecting her to say it like that. I don’t want to think about other guys, I only want to think about Leon, and I sort of lied, because Leon does like me back. I couldn’t tell her the complication was our age difference. That would’ve ended very badly and she probably would’ve told Vince about my secret crush and raise a ton of suspicion about who it was and since Leon and I have been undoubetly hanging out, I think Vince would figure it out immediately. I just smirked at her and said “Yeah, I guess.” Then walked away.

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As it gets closer and closer to the party time I start getting ready. I put on a ton of makeup on and a sexy, but classy tube top and some leggings with boots. I want to look older than sixteen tonight. Not for slutty reasons, obviously because I have my eye on only one man, and I’ve only technically been with one guy before, but because I don’t want people to assume I’m sixteen. I for once just want to be treated like an adult. Also, maybe nobody will look at me weird if I’m walking around drinking. After I’m done getting ready I go outside and start rolling blunts for me throughout the night. Vince walks up from the back porch for whatever reason, and I didn’t even hear him pull up. To be honest it scared me and made me jump, causing me to drop four blunts I’ve already rolled. Vince picks them up and says “One of them is mine since I’m the coolest brother in the world.” I said “Oh yeah?” He said “Am I not?” Then laughed and walked away. I’m guessing by his extremely good mood, that he won the race tonight so I didn’t even have to ask. Literally minutes later a bunch of random people show up meaning the party has officially begun. It’s weird because as much as I want to fit into this lifestyle, I already wish people would leave my house. This isn’t even the first big party we’ve thrown here, people on the whole block know us as the loud obnoxious party house. They don’t call the cops on us anymore though. I feel really socially awkward, and kind of just want to sit in my room the whole time, but I told myself I didn’t do all this makeup for no reason. I step outside and smoke the first blunt, I figured this would help me get into the laid back party mood. Jesse plops down next to me on the porch, it’s an odd thing because it’s usually Leon who sits down next to me on the porch. Jesse said “Hey Lacey. Finally apart of the big dogs, huh?” I laughed and said “Haven’t I technically always been?” He said “Well, with a brother like Vince I couldn’t disagree.” I pass him the blunt and he took it and said “Aye, thanks.” It was cool chilling with Jesse. He’s actually the first person I “bought” weed from. I knew I could trust him because literally nobody found out about it, and I thought it was cool since he gave it to me for free and explained to me that as long as I’m safe with it and whatnot he wouldn’t mind smoking me out and giving me weed. He said that it would always be for free because we’re family. Plus, I don’t think Jesse really wanted to take my allowance money from the cafe anyway. The cafe money was really just shared family money that he technicallyy already had in his pockets anyway. Jesse is really chill, and has a hippie flower child type of stoner vibe. It’s honestly the best kind of stoner to surround yourself with. Plus, it’s been awhile since Jesse and I have smoked together or even had a deep conversation together. I broke the silence by asking “So, was the race eventful?” He chuckled and said “Same ol’ same ol’.” I asked “What’s so special about them?” He said “There really isn’t a general specialty to them. It’s all how you perceive it. I know they’re special to Dom because he pratically invented the street racing world here and because he grew up around it with his dad and whatnot. They’re special to Vince because it clears his mind. They’re special to me because it’s cool seeing the cars I worked on win. I’m not sure why they’re special to Leon or Letty, but it is what it is.” There was a bit of a pause and Jesse said “I can see why you’re so eager to get in on the races though. It’s funny because I remember Vince telling me that when he was back in high school he was really eager too.” I just smiled. Jesse then said “Do you want a beer? I won’t tell Vince.” I smiled harder and said “Sure, but Vince already offered me one for tonight anyway.” He said “Ahhhh, Lacey is growing up.” Then we walked into the kitchen and he handed me a Corona. He seemed a bit surprised to see me get the top off on my own without any effort. He laughed and said “Ahhhhh, someone’s done this before.” I playfully laughed and said “Shhhh.” A few minutes later Mia, Dom and Vince walk into the kitchen and Mia practically berated me like she was my mother and said “Lacey Maree is that a beer in your hand!? What are you doing?” Dom laughed and said “Relax Mia, should I remind you of how old you were when you had your first? She’s fine let her drink a lil’. Besides she’s in the safety of her own home. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Vince condenscendingly added on and said “Yeah, I already signed the permission slip.” Then he laughed and did the playful head shake thing again. I’m starting to feel relaxed now and even more so that I finally feel like I’m apart of the whole crew now, but in the back of my mind I’m starting to wonder more and more where Leon is and what he’s doing. I walk into the living room and instantly notice Leon sitting down in the chair in the living room with a blonde, trampy looking skank on his lap. I recognized her as one of his ex-girlfriends named Monica, who Vince has also had his fair share of time with. She’s a homie hopping whore. Leon didn’t look too interested which was odd, but it’s still disrespectful. He knows I’m here and could see the shit as easily as I just did. He knows I like him and he said he liked me too just the other day and then does this!? It’s not even just the fact that there’s a skank on his lap. If we have to wait two years, I expected him to have his fun with other girls, and if the opprotuity arose for me to do the same with a guy, I’d probably take it. It’s the fact that this is being done right in front of me. In my house in my living room. I stood there staring for God knows how long then Leon makes eye contact with me. He had to do a double take and then called out "Lacey!” I saw him practically push the girl to the floor and start coming my direction, but I don’t even care for his explanation or excuses at the moment. I ran through the crowd of people as fast as I could so he couldn’t get to me. There was so many people in the house you have people practically breathing down your neck, literally. I noticed that I couldn’t see him at all anymore through all the strange faces. I grabbed a bottle of Patron off of the kitchen island and walked outside where the party didn’t seem too heavy. There were quite a few people out here but not nearly as many as there were inside. I would sit on the hammock but a random couple is laying in it which makes me want to burn it and buy a new one. About an hour, I believe, passes and I realized that I may’ve had way too much to drink plus the marijuana wasn’t helping. I suddenly felt the urge that I had to throw up so I ran to the door, and fought my way through the blurry crowd of people and went into the downstairs bathroom. I don't really know why I didn't just puke in the grass outside. I blacked out for the first time in my life because I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t even remember throwing up. I just woke up to Leon standing over me. I saw him grab the bottle of Patron from my hands and place it on the counter and lifted me up and carried me to my room. Who knows how long I was laying on that bathroom floor. The next afternoon I wake up to two gatorades on my nightstand and a note from Leon saying You probably need these and call me when you’re awake. I said to myself Oh so I’m supposed to forgive you because you bought me gatorade? I didn’t want to call him. I didn’t want to talk to him. Okay, who am I kidding? Of course I wanted to talk to him. I loved talking to him. Plus, I do want to hear his explanation now that I’m sober and not so heated anymore. I texted him instead of calling him though to make it seem as if I didn’t care that much. A couple minutes went by and then he’s walking into my room. I didn’t sit up or even pretend to care that he was there. He said “I want to explain myself.” I chuckled and said “Why?” He said “Because I owe it to you.” I said “You don’t owe me shit.” He said “Well after last night, I should explain.” I said “What about last night?” I was trying to throw the impression that I don’t remember anything even though I remember everything that set me off distinctively. He said “The girl… Sitting on my lap.” I said “Oh yeah.” He said “You’re never going to let it go, are you?” At this point I figured it was silly to lie to myself and pretend like it didn’t bother me and lie to him and pretend like I don’t remember. I only had one beer at that point, of course I remembered. It was the reason I decided to down a bottle of Patron and black out. I sat up and sighed and said “Leon, I’m not holding on to anything, and I’m not mad. How can I be mad if you’re not my boyfriend? There’s nothing I can do about some bimbo on your lap. It was just the fact that it happened in our fucking living room, in our fucking house just a couple of days after you confessed you had the same feelings I do. How am I supposed to react? It did hurt a little.” He said “I don’t blame you for being pissed off and salty about it at all. It’s just that Vince "hooked” her up with me. If I declined he would’ve been even more suspicious and think something was really up between me and you.“ I was confused at him saying this and I said "Wait what?” He said “Vince thinks there’s something going on between us.” I said “He actually said that?” Leon said “Not directly or in so many words but he’s been asking a lot of questions implying that he suspects it. Questions such as "So you and Lacey have been spending a lot of time together, huh?" Vince is a pretty straight foraward guy so when he asks questions like that it’s because he’s trying to get to the bottom of something. Him hooking me up with Monica was a test.” I asked “Did you really hook up with her?” He said “No! I would never hook up with her again. She’s just a thirsty slut. I wouldn’t lie to you Lacey, I never have and I never will. I won’t start now. I did however tell Vince that we did to get him off my back. If he thinks I actually hooked up with her he won’t be so suspcious about me and you anymore.” I said “True. Plus if he really thought we were dating or something he would’ve already killed you for cheating on me.” We both started laughing, but my laugh quickly faded away and I said "Even if he was still suspicious it's not like it truly matters anyway, since we really aren't together." He said “Listen, I am really, really sorry about the whole thing. I know there’s no way I can take it back and make you unsee what you saw, but I just felt like I had to explain that it truly wasn’t what it looked like. She got super drunk, and I sent her home with her friends. That’s literally the end of it.” I said “I believe you. I just…. Don’t let it happen again. Even though we’re not together I don’t want to see that shit.” He said in a tone as if he was admitting something and said “Yeah, me either,” and looked up at me. He was most likely referring to Quinn. Leon and I actually sat in my room for awhile and started to talk like we used to. We actually shared some good laughs. As he was walking out I said “Hey Leon, do you want to come to this stupid play at school tonight? I’m going to be in it and the rest of the family is coming.” He said “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I just smiled really big. He always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He added “I didn’t strike you as the kind of person to really be into that sorta thing though. You're artsy, but you in a play? I just don't see it.” I said “I’m not really. I kind of got pestered into doing it and couldn’t really say no.” He laughed and said “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great regardless.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:

Dear Diary, I haven’t written in you in such a long time because I haven’t needed to. Leon became my real life diary with actual feedback. It was amazing. It was everything I could ever ask for. However, after I confessed to him how I felt we sort of drifted apart from each other. The bond we had for awhile seemed to fade away. However though, he admitted to feeling the same way about me. Our age difference was the only problem, well and my brother. So I guess I’m back to resorting to you with my problems. I’m just worried that in two years time we won’t feel the same way we do now. I really wish I could go back to the days when I barely knew anything about him. I wish I could be that fifteen year old girl again with just a little crush. Things were way more simple back then. I miss the feeling I would get when he walked by, and I don’t feel that anymore. Then again, him and I never really talked back then at all so I did gain a lot. I thought being sixteen was going to change things for me. I thought the family would start respecting me and treat me more like an adult, and it seemingly worked out that way for awhile, until after I told Leon how I felt and it seemed as if I back tracked to being fifteen again. I sometimes wish I could go even further back to when I was a little girl. When Vince would give me underdogs on the swing set, when he’d read me stories to bed, and when being on top of the world was simply sitting on his shoulders. I daresay that the euphoric feeling I got from sitting on Vince’s shoulders will never again exist within me. I miss family game nights, and family movie nights. Being sixteen sucks. The older I get the more I realize how shitty this life and the world can be, and here I was in such a rush to grow up and be an adult.

There is nothing to really even talk about when it comes to the play. I did farely well I suppose, but I was nervous as hell knowing my whole family was in the crowd watching me. I got so used to them not being around or paying this much attention to me. After the play I ran backstage to change, and then I met my family who all shared their congratulations with me. Vince hugged me and said “You were great, kiddo.” Then out of nowhere Quinn walked over to me and my family. I hated when the friends I had during my school hours felt like they could just walk up to my family. I mostly hated the awkward confrontation and the awkward questions I get from the said friend afterwards. Quinn said “You were great Lacey.” Vince said “And you are..?” Quinn responded with “I’m Quinn. Lacey’s friend. I take it you’re the brother.” Vince said “Yep.” Vince wasn’t actually interested in getting to know him or coverse with him he just said what he did to be a dick and to be intimidating. For once, I didn’t mind it. Mia said “Well, it’s nice to meet you Quinn,” and then she shot me this playful look and I thought to myself shit she thinks this is a guy that I like. Right after thinking that thought I look over to Leon who’s heavily trying to avoid looking this direction for obvious reasons and for those same obvious reasons he has to pretend not to care that Quinn is standing next to me. Dom walks over and hugs me tightly and said “I’m proud of you Lacey, you’ve always been quite the artist of the family, keep that up. Don’t ever lose sight of that no matter what.” I said “Of course not.” Then smiled. He gathered the gang up and they started to head out. I've gotten so used to that. Vince walked over to me and said “Want a ride home?” I said “I fucking wish I could go home. I have to stay here and help clean up.” Vince said “Alright, just call me if you need me, we’re not going too far tonight.” I said “Alright, I will.” As I’m cleaning one of the makeup stations Quinn walks up to me and said “So, you have an interesting family.” I said “Yep.” He said “So, I’m guessing you need a ride home since they all left you?” I snapped back and said “They didn’t leave me. I can call them whenever I want.” He said “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I was just saying that in hopes that you would say you needed a ride so I could surprise you with a cheap date to Burger King.” I began to laugh at his request but then I started to think to myself that Quinn isn’t that ugly. He’s your pretty average preppy looking guy. He wasn’t my type by any means, but still, I give credit to where it’s due. I also thought that if Leon and I can’t be together for two more years, where’s the harm in having some fun? I know damn well he’s going to fuck other girls in the meantime anyway. So why not? I said “You know what… That actually sounds good. Sure.” He said “Wow, really? Alright then, it’s a date.” I want to be the one calling the shots here so I said “Woah, woah, woah. Lets not get ahead of ourselves now. It’s not a date. It’s just two friends eating food together.” He said “Alright, I’ll take it.” After we ate, we got back in the car and I was honestly so disappointed. It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. Well, I haven’t been on very many but I don’t think it could get any worse or anymore boring than this. Quinn and I literally have nothing in common. He didn’t talk about anything I could even pretend to be interested in. We don’t have the same music type either. We couldn’t even talk about something as simple as music. I suppose he’s probably thinking the same thing I am though. I started talking about cars and racing and naming car parts and he had no idea what I was talking about at all. The whole time I was talking and making jokes, I saw this blank expression in Quinn's eyes that contradicted the smile on his lips. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about nor did he care. The whole time I just kept thinking to myself Leon would get it. I decided to talk about something we clearly had in common seeing how that’s how we met– art! Then he confessed that he’s only taking art classes because he joined the school late after his parents were in a car accident and all the cooler elective classes were already filled up. I did notice that he didn’t mention who he was living with now, since he mentioned his parents died in the accident, but I wasn’t going to ask. Kind of rude, in my opinion. Anyways, this entire night was a total drag. Quinn and I pull up to my house, finally, and he said “It doesn’t look like anyone is home. Do you want me to stay here with you?” I was seriously baffled by his question. Does he think I’m some fragile princess who’s never been home alone before, and was this seriously an attempt to get in my room after only one cheap ass dinner gathering at Burger King? I said “No, that won’t be necessary. Goodbye now.” He leaned in and abruptly kissed me and I pushed him off and said “What the fuck is your problem?” I opened the car door and said “Go fuck yourself!” Every part of me that wanted to feel bad for him just didn’t exist. Who the hell does he think he is? What makes him think he can just kiss me after one pathetic date at Burger King? I specifically even told him that it wasn’t even a date it was just two friends eating food together. What a cocky asshole. After being home for nearly thirty minutes I heard a door slam downstairs. I thought it was them coming home, but after I heard no noises or usual chatter I started to get an uneasy feeling. I immediately ran across the hall to my brother’s room and grabbed the baseball bat next to his bed. My mind wandered to who it could be. One of my family’s enemies? Would they hurt me? Wait, that’s a stupid question Lacey, they’d use you as leverage if anything. I thought to myself that this seriously can’t be happening right now. Lacey, you have to be smart about this. I searched my brother’s room high and low, and finally found a gun in the top of his closet. I knew I’d find one in here. I knew I would. I remember everything from watching YouTube how-to videos all about guns and shit. I loaded it and told myself this was obviously my best defense, and so far I’m currently undetected and I have a gun which means I currently have an advantage. I look down the stairs and I don’t hear or see anyone at all. I start to slowly walk down and head towards the kitchen since that’s where the slam came from. Nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary I knew damn well it wasn’t just the wind or my imagination. Every bitch that’s ever said that in movies ends up dying right after they say that shit and let their guard down. All of the sudden someone grabs me from behind but I was able to bite their hand and maneuver my way out of their grip. I dropped the fucking gun and now whoever this intruder is has it because the risk of trying to grab it was too high to be grabbed by them again. I had to be snappy with the decision making. I knew I had to run. So I did. I ran back up to Vince’s room and locked the door. I knew the baseball bat was my only weapon choice, but seeing how they have the gun and I have the bat I have a serious disadvantage now. I would only have one chance with what had to be a sneak attack to really fuck this person up before they shoot me. I started thinking to myself, that I should’ve ran to my room and climbed out the window on to the roof. I’d take my chances jumping off the roof than staying in this house. I couldnt of ran out of the kitchen door, I noticed it was locked. The time it would take to stop to unlock it would be enough time for them to grab me again. So that really wasn’t an option. The person started banging at the door and I was so scared for my life. Just as I was about to say my prayers and acccept the fact that I might die tonight I notice something poking out from Vince’s sheets. He had a shotgun under his mattress. I thought to myself “Jesus Christ, thank you Vince you crazy gun enthusiast bastard.” I loaded it and just as I was about to shoot at the door the person barges in and punches me. I fall to the floor and they try to rip my leggings off. My mouth was bleeding so bad and my face felt numb. I was able to move to the side and punch the person in the face with the little force I could manage. Which was a little effective they bounced back enough for me to get my feet free so I leapt over to the shotgun and didn’t even think twice about pulling the trigger. I shot the person in the chest and watched them fall to their knees then face first to the floor. I flipped them over and began to stab him with Vince’s pocket knife to really make sure the fucker was dead. Pure rage took over and I went overboard on the stabbing and when I came to, I realized what I had just done. I just fucking murdered a human being. A vile human being, who deserved it, but still. I start hyperventilating and drop the pocket knife when I see a pool of blood form and start to stain the carpet. I had blood all over my hands and wrists and clothes. I kneeled back down on the ground next to the person and and started to lift the mask off. My heart sank when I saw that is was Quinn. I’ve never killed anyone before or felt so relieved by murder. Well, I actually felt a sense of relief when Leon murdered the fuckers who drugged me, but then it was more so a sense of vengence. I also realized that there’s no way we could cover this up as easily as Leon did. It happened in my brother’s room! I freak out. I called Leon because he’s clearly gotten away with murder before, except for, Vince answered. He said “Jesus Christ Lacey are you okay?” I said “No.” He said  "Where the fuck are you?“ I said "I’m at home….” He said “What? We got a text saying you needed our help at the school.” I remembered setting my phone down in the living room on a charger and realized that Quinn probably took it and sent that so my family wouldn’t have came home while he was doing all he wanted to do to me. I said “I didn’t send that.” He said “So what’s wrong? And who did?” I said “Someone broke into the house and I was attacked.” Vince shouts at this point and says “What!? Where are they now? Lacey are you okay? Are they still there? We’re on our way.” I said “Please stay on the phone with me Vince I’m so scared.” He said “Lacey what happened? Where are they?” I started crying because I didn’t know how to put in words what just happened, especially over the phone. They’ll see for themselves when they get home and it’ll all speak for itself. At this point I feel completely numb. I’m just sitting near the doorway of Vince’s room, staring at the lifeless body that used to be Quinn. Why did he want to hurt me? Was it because I rejected his kiss and it sent him over the psychopathic edge? Or was this his agenda the whole time? Vince says “Lacey the phone is about to die but we’re right down the road.” Then he hung up. They all came running in the house screaming my name I was too numb and out of it to respond. All of the sudden they all came running up the stairs and walked into Vince’s room since they saw me sitting there. Vince had the most shocked expression on his face that I have ever seen before. He looked at the dead body on the floor of his bedroom and saw two of his guns and his pocket knife. They all had the most shocked expressions on their faces that I have never seen before. Leon kneels down next to me, I was shaking at this point and couldn’t speak. Leon runs across the hall into my room and grabs me a towel and wraps it around me. Vince then kneels down next to me and said “Are you okay?” I couldn’t snap out of the trance I was in and Vince softly shouted “Lacey!” I said “I’m okay.” Leon said “She needs to lie down before she hyperventilates goes into shock.” Vince carries me downstairs to the couch. They all follow and sit in the living room shocked and quiet. Jesse said “What do we do? Call the cops?” Dom said “No.” Mia said “Why not!? It’s not like we did anything wrong, he broke in here and tried to hurt Lacey. She was just defending herself.” Dom shouts back “The cops can’t come around here, Mia. They just can’t!” Mia said “Then what the fuck do we do, Dom?” I look over to Leon thinking maybe he’ll get the hint in my eyes and call this Saul and have him reach out to his connections, but just then Vince speaks and says “I have an idea.” Everyone eagerly looked over to him including myself. He said “There’s a place we can bury the body. The same place we burried Tran’s cousin.” Dom said “You’re not supposed to say that shit, man.” Vince said “As if it fucking matters anymore, Dom. The only person who didn’t know about it was her,” he says as he points to me. Leon said “I’ll call Saul and have him get his connections involed for the mess upstairs.” I thought to myself it’s a good thing he mentioned him otherwise I would’ve.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:

A couple of days go by and everything happened as it normally would. Well, if you were in my family, and used to committing such crimes. Leon’s connections through Saul came into the house and ripped up Vince’s carpet, somehow managed to clean the wood underneath, and it was like as if it never even happened. Not one drop of blood left anywhere in the room, or the house for that matter. Watching Vince, Leon, Jesse and Dom dig and drop Quinn’s lifeless body into a hole in the ground would make anybody else feel maybe frightened, paranoid, or guilty. To me however, I didn’t feel any of that. In fact, I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so numb to the whole situation. If anything I felt relieved that it was over, with what felt like a snap of the finger. The drive there and back was silent. I sat in the backseat with Vince as he held me tightly, as if he didn’t want me to even slip through his fingers just a tad bit. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t scared– I don’t know what he was to be honest. Once we got home, I ran straight up the stairs to the shower. Everyone else went quietly to their rooms as well. I think we all just want to forget this ever happened. These past few days have been nightmareish. I thought that things would get better in time, even if it was just a little bit of time but I still feel numb. I feel like the world has stopped spinning and it sat still and just gave up. I decided to crawl out of bed for once for something other than a shower or to use the restroom. I needed fresh air, but instead of walking outside my room and having to face everyone, I did what I always do. I climbed out my window and sat on the roof. The roof of my house was a sacred place for me. It was a place for me to be alone, and be with just my thoughts, and I could even see the LA horizon. Sunsets were my favorite. As I’m rolling a blunt to smoke I start to hear chatter from down below, as I listen in I could hear that it was Leon and Vince talking about me, so of course I chimed in. I could hear Vince say in what sounded like a continuation of a conversation that was already started inside the house, “What I still don’t understand is why she called you.” Leon said “What’s that supposed to mean?” Vince replied “I don’t know you tell me.” Leon said “Look man, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Vince said "The fucking truth." Leon didn't respond to this but I'm assuming he shot Vince a look and Vince said “It’s just that ever since you’ve been tutoring her she hasn’t really talked to me and all she cares about is you pretty much. Even if she doesn't explicitly say it, it's kind of obvious. I mean even that time she got jumped, she called you. I thought to myself, okay it’s reasonable, you were a lot closer to the area, but this time she had just killed a human being and her first thought is to call you instead of me?” Leon laughed under his breath and said “Look man, like I said, I don’t know why she called me that night, or the night she got jumped. I don't know what you want me to tell you.” Vince responded more angrily and straight forward and asked “Is there anything I should know about that's going on between you two?” Leon snapped back and said “Jesus Christ Vince, No!” Vince said “Then why are you getting all defensive?” Leon snapped back even harder and said “Fuck you, I’m not. I just don’t like accusations or interrogations so if you got something on your fucking mind, spit it out.” Vince didn’t respond after this but all of the sudden I hear disembodied grunt noises and then see both of them fall to the ground, they are now in sight and I can see that Vince is on top of Leon punching him in the face. I don’t know what for though. Technically there is legitimately nothing going on between me and Leon and the little thing that did occur, Vince can’t prove it. Vince never thinks rationally though. However, Vince is extraordinarily smart, way smarter than he may seem or what people give him credit for. He gets these hunches all the time about everything and his hunches are very rarely ever wrong, and as we can see, this hunch technically really wasn’t. Dom comes out of nowhere and rips Vince off of Leon and Vince just storms off and I could hear his car start and screech down the road all while Dom is lifting Leon up making sure he’s alright. Dom said to Leon “What the hell was that all about?” Leon said “I’m not really sure exactly.” I couldn't tell if Leon really wasn't sure why Vince snapped or if he just didn't want to imply it had something to do with me. I heard Mia’s voice in the background say “Someone should go check on Lacey.” I snap back to reality and realize I'm not just a narrator in a movie overseeing an event and that I have to scram to my window as silently as possible, without anyone seeing me. I climbed through the window and shut it and laid back down just in time to make it look like I never moved, as the door flies open, and to my surprise it’s Letty. She doesn’t say anything at first, she just stands there, sighs, then drags my bean bag chair to the middle of my room, sits, and stares again. I sit up a little bit and stare back at her. She’s staring at me like she wants me to say something and break the silence, but I have no idea what she wants me to even say. She began to talk and said “I’m guessing you already know the question I’m going to ask you……. So just tell me how you are doing.” I said “Fine… I guess.” She said “That doesn’t sound too reassuring.” I said “How am I supposed to feel?” She just glances over at me, then says “Do you want to talk about it?” I abruptly said “Nope. I do not. I want to forget it ever happened.” She said “If that weren’t a mentally unhealthy option, I’d let you do that, but you can’t just forget it ever happened. You got to face the world and you got to own up to it. I mean I’m not suggesting you see a therapist or anything like that but you can’t beat yourself up over something that needed to be done. It was kill or be killed, right? You should own that shit and be proud that motherfucker can’t hurt anybody else, all because you were strong enough to end it. So, like I said; face the world, Lacey.” I said “What if I’m not ready to do that?” She bluntly said “Then you’ll never be.” Those words did not settle right with me and they weighed heavily on my chest. I said “Well, what do you suggest?” Letty said “Well, for starters, you can start breaking the rules for once." I said "Haven't I already done that? You know, getting away with murder and all?" She looked at me as if she wanted to call me a smart ass and tell me to stop being condescending but she said "That's not what I meant. I was referring to Vince's rules. Vince isn’t your father, he’s the only one telling you that you can’t come. The rest of us would’ve brought you along ages ago. So come to the race tonight with us.” After Letty walks out I hop in the shower and then sat on the bean bag chair wrapped in my towel afterwards. I sat there contemplating whether or not I even wanted to go to the race tonight. What was Letty going to do? Force me? Months ago, being invited along to the race would be a dream come true, and now I can honestly see that it's really not that big of a deal. Also, I was a bit too comfortable in my room now, after not leaving it for days. I felt anxious about walking around my own house. I also start to think about this kind of lifestyle in general. It only gets worse from here, right? I’m only sixteen years old and I’ve killed someone, and instead of doing the normal thing and calling the police after an intruder tried to rape me, we burried the body ourselves. That means if I’m ever in trouble, for any reason at all, I can’t call the police. I have to handle it myself. I have to be strong enough and wise enough to know what to do in those types of situations. The scariest thought of it all was, will I ever be? My door opened and it interrupted my train of thought and I stand and turn to face Leon who quickly glances down as if he was the one embarrassed to find me in a towel and he said “Can I talk to you?” I walk over to the doorway and said “If we’re not in a relationship, you should probably knock.” Then I shut the door. It wasn’t in a rude way, and it’s not like I slammed the door, I just shut it like any normal person would close a door at any ordinary circumstance. I immediately regretted it and felt like shit afterwards regardless, but at the same time I didn’t. Too many emotions to feel all at once and it made me feel like I just wanted to sleep for a month straight. As I nervously walk down the stairs I run into Mia and she says “You look pretty. Are you ready to go?” I said “You already knew I’m coming?” She said “We all do– except Vince. He’ll find out as soon as he meets us there though.” I said as Mia started walking down the hall “Is he going to be mad?” Mia stopped and turned around and slouched her shoulder at my question, and responded with “Lacey…… Who cares? He needs to stop smothering you. As much as I don’t want to necessarily be apart of this life either, I am. I need to be smart and taught and experienced with this life if shit ever goes down. Inevitably, you are part of this life too and you as well need to know the things we do, and be experienced.” I didn’t know Mia ever felt or thought this way. I wanted to change the topic and I was also extremely curious at this point what Leon wanted to talk about so I asked “Where’s Leon?” In hopes for it to be an exit strategy and to divert the attention to a different topic, and she responds with “Don’t worry about silly boys tonight, Lacey. It’s a girl’s night.” I said “With me, you, and who?” She said “Letty! Who else?” I said “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to have a quote on quote girl’s night.” Letty came up behind us, wrapped her arms around us both, looked at me and said “I’m not, thanks for noticing. Let’s go.” As we're sitting at the race surrounded by hundreds of strange faces, I feel a little uneasy. I wasn't behind the scenes like last time with Chandler, this time I was with the Toretto crew and part of the script. Letty looked over at me and Mia and said "I'm gonna go talk to Leon about the borders for the location tonight." She left me and Mia alone which means she's going to start awkward conversation. She had an annoying knack of making any conversation with her, despite the topic, pretty much awkward. She sat on the hood of Letty's car and tapped her hand next to her signaling for me to do the same. She said "Soooooo." I condenscendingly raised my eyebrows at her and expected her to finish her sentence without me having to do much talking. She did and asked "So what's with you and Leon?" I was totally shocked by this question. Why would she even ask something like this? I responded "Nothing! Why would you even ask that?" She looked at me like she wanted to say that I was stupid or something and said "It's pretty obvious you have a crush on him the way you stare at him in awe like an alien spacecraft is landing right in front of you, and the way your eyes light up when anyone even mentions his name." I was enraged at this point. How fucking dare she stick her nose where it doesn't belong. There's nothing going on between me and Leon, and even if there was it's none of her goddamn business. Is she the one who started raising suspicion and dropped the idea in Vince's head? She's starting drama for no reason. I've never had any personal beef with anyone in the family, but she's practically asking to be the first. I responded angrily and said "That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it?" I was trying to keep my cool even though on the inside I wanted to claw her fucking eyes out. She said "No, it goes exactly like that." I snapped after that response and said "Who fucking cares if I have a little crush on him? I'm allowed to think somebody is attractive without it being any more than that. You're honestly trying to create something out of nothing, and even if there was something going on between me and Leon it's none of your goddamn business. But there isn't so quit assuming. You never even talk to me, or Leon, how would you even know what's going on in our lives behind closed doors to make such an accusation?" Mia looked appalled by my response as if she didn't think I would stand up for myself in that manner. She said "Okay... I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to... Offend you." Before I could say anything I saw Letty and Leon approaching us which means the conversation definitely should come to a halt. I'm sure Leon could tell how pissed off I was because I felt heated and enraged on the inside. I could only imagine how red my face must have been due to the anger and slight embarassment. He asked me "You okay, Lacey?" I wasn't ready to answer because I could feel that irritating throat pain that signaled I was going to choke on my words from holding back the anger tears, but it didn't matter because before I could Dom called Leon over and he walked away. I could feel Mia's eyes piercing the back of my skull as she watched me watch him walk away. Later that night in the kitchen, Mia said "I am really sorry for just assuming there was something more with you and Leon." I said "He's just my friend.... I don't have very many. I don't want you to scare him away if he finds out I have a crush on him. He'll just think I'm some immature high school girl or something." I was really milking this lie to get Mia to leave the conversation alone. She said "I wasn't going to say anything either way, I just thought it was cute you have a little crush on him, but I am sorry for the way I approached the topic." She walked off and I started to feel bad for reacting the way that I did. Mia also has a knack for manipulating in some ways, and she can play with her words to make you feel however she wants you to feel. In this circumstance, it was guilt, and it worked. However, on the other hand I don't see why she even felt the need to bring it up in the first place, especially in a situation where anyone could overhear the conversation. Also, what does she mean she thinks it's cute that I have a crush on Leon? Would she think the same if she knew Leon had a crush on me too? Or if there was an actual secret intiate relationship going on between us? Probably not. So, the thought of that made me even more vexed. She knows there's an age difference, although it isn't drastic, it's still an age difference and I'm not eighteen. That's literally the only thing keeping us from being together, so the fact that she said the crush was cute sent rage up my spine. She wouldn't think it was so cute if the roles were reversed and knew Leon, the twenty year old liked me too.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:

I went up to my room to lay down, and try to get myself over this sudden hatred for Mia, and then there was a knock at my door. I open it and it was Leon, and oddly enough, for once I wasn't expecting him because he usually doesn't come into my room this late at night so the suspicions of us being together don't rise, so it kind of threw me off a little bit. He said "Can I come in? I knocked this time." I laughed and said "Of course." As he walks in he sits down in the bean bag chair still in the middle of the room where Letty left it and he looked a little off. Something was bugging him but I'm not sure what it could be. He seemed fine a few hours ago. I sat down on the floor next to him and asked "Is everything okay?" He didn't make eye contact with me and instead, continued to look down at his feet and responded "It's just that... I... Never mind." I sat there puzzled because I didn't know what to do or how to respond. It's ususally him talking to me when I'm down and I'm rarely ever in these kinds of positions for anyone. He changed the subject though and asked "What are you up to tonight?" I said "this," as I pull my sketchbook off the desk of a drawing I was working on earlier today that I was legitimately planning on finishing tonight. He said "Looks nice." I said "Thanks." The awkward tension seemed a bit more heavy as the conversation didn't seem real and I can tell something was seriously wrong with him. He seemed very down, just by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, and his dead eyesight; staring at nothing and avoiding eye contact. I asked him "Are you sure everything's okay?" I wasn't expecting a genuine answer, but I asked just so he would get the hint that I'm aware something is really bugging him. He didn't respond right away, but instead he got up and started walking to the door, I was assuming he was going to leave, but he closed the door and stayed in my room. At this point I was anxious, not because Leon made me uncomfortable in any way, but because I have no idea where this is going and I don't like being put in the middle of situations right off the bat that could potentially go wrong. Not implying that this particular situation could go wrong, because I was content with Leon's prescence, I just was unsure about the motives at this point, and just him being in my room this late at night to begin with has already thrown me off. Leon reached for my hand and pulled me up from the floor as he sat down on my TV stand so we could be more eye-to-eye. He said "I've been thinking a lot lately." I didn't know what that meant even though I think I'm starting to get the idea. I didn't respond, and he grabbed both of my hands and rested them in his lap. He continued and said "I've been thinking about you." My heart started to flutter a mile a minute and I said "oh," simply because I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to respond because I wasn't expecting this at all. He continued and said "Ever since that night when you.. You know... I couldn't help but think to myself what if he had killed you? Or kidnapped you? All these scenarios kept playing in my head of what could've happened that night, and they all ended with "what if I never see you again?" I couldn't bare even the thought of that. I really, really like you. That night made me realize that we aren't promised two more years, we're not even promised tomorrow. Anything could happen between now and the next few hours. All I know is that.... I can't wait two more years, Lacey...." My heart felt like it was seriously about to beat out of my chest. Leon is basically implying that he can't wait two more years and that could only mean two possible things: either, he's basically saying lets get together now, or that we shouldn't be together at all. The vibe is leaning more towards the first possible outcome though. Leon slowly gazed his eyes to meet mine and I started to lean in closer as he grabbed my waist, but before we could kiss Leon's phone rang which caused me to jump. I read the caller ID and it said Vince. You have got to be kidding me right now! Is Vince a fucking psychic or something? It just infuriates me that of course Vince would be the one to interrupt us. The universe is playing games with me. I saw Leon's face grow with frustration as he sighed heavily and answered the phone. He said "What?" In a very monotone, but angry voice. He sighed even heavier and said "OK," then he hung up. He stood up and stared at me for a few short moments and said "I have to go." I said "I figured." He said "Can I come back later?" I just shook my head yes. Moments later I lay in my bed trying to wonder whether that really just took place or did I unknowningly take drugs that made me hallucinate? I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up later by Leon asking me to scoot over. I obviously didn't hesitate. He laid down next to me and I gave it a few moments before I decided to try anything just to see if he would first. I was surprised that he didn't. I wasn't expecting it or anything. I was just nervous. I saw Leon as this very experienced guy who doesn't know that I'm not so experienced. Was he expecting me to have superb sexual performance? Would I literally embarrass myself? After a little while of him not trying anything I thought that maybe he just assumed I was tired or something since I fell asleep while waiting on him. When I really fell asleep only so that time would go by faster instead of anxiously waiting and staring at the clock as the slow minutes passed. I fell asleep again while waiting on him to make the first move, because obviously at this point, nothing is going to happen unless I make that call and I was too damn scared to do so. A few hours later I woke up and was surprised to see him still laying next to me. I figured he would honestly just leave. I sat up and watched him sleep for a few short moments. Not in a creepy way, but in awe to his profound beauty, and that he was actually sleeping in my bed next to me and that this was really happening. I thought long and hard about the next move I should make, but regardless of how long and hard I thought about it, the more I felt myself trying to talk myself out of it. It was ultimately going to be a tough decision to make regardless of how much thought I put into it. So I decided to clear my head and just go for it. I slightly tap his shoulder and say his name to get his attention, and as he was waking up, I sat on his lap and carressed his torso while I worked my way up to his lips. His hands moved slowly down my back to my waist as our tongues steadily locked with each other. I sat up and took my top off as he watched in admiration. He saw my tattoo and the nipple piercings for the first time and let out a big smile and jokingly said "So, that's what you got going on under there." I just smiled playfully back at him then he asked "So what do you wanna do?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I figured you would just take over at this point." He sat up with me still in his lap and began to kiss me again, as he worked his way down to my nipples, and he sucked on those for awhile. Then he put his right hand in my hair and gently tugged back, as he worked his way back up to my neck. Afterwards, he made eye contact with me and asked "Are you sure you really want to do this?" I whispered back to him "Don't you want it to?" After that Leon bit his lip and flipped me over to my back without reluctance. I felt so numb to the rest of the world. In this very moment, it was just me and him. No problems existed. Worry free, and careless. In this moment, we were in our own euphoric little world. As it came time for the actual intercourse part, I remembered just how inexperienced I am and I increasingly grew nervous again. It was finally the moment where Leon would see that I'm not as adept as I may portray myself to be. After all, I did make the first move and it was pretty bold. Therefore, he may be expecting that I have at least some experience. I've mentioned this before, but the kid whom I technically lost my virginity to only stuck it in once, broke my cherry and pulled it right back out immediately. The only experience I've had since then was with myself. I've stuck fingers in there quite a few times, but my tiny fingers couldn't compare to Leon's gurth. As he was about to slide it in, I panicked and said "Wait, no, stop." He looked confused and shocked and said "Is everything okay?" I said "Yeah..." He sat there for a moment and then asked "Lacey, are you... Are you a virgin?" I said "Not exactly..." He asked "What's that supposed to mean?" I began to explain to him the story of my first time and he said "That really sucks. I'm sorry he treated you that way." I said "It's okay, I guess. Nobody's first time is... Enjoyable, right?" He smirked and said "Not really." Then I confessed to him the reason I didn't tell him and said "I thought you might not want to do anything with me if you knew that I'm not... Experienced." Leon said "That's nonsense. I like you Lacey. I like you, for you, and I truly never compliment girls unless I feel they truly deserve them. I hate to sound so blunt and kind of like a dick, but if sex was all I wanted I could've easily called Monica, or one of her slutty friends and gotten laid without even taking them out to dinner first. My point is, I wouldn't have acted this nice, or worked this much to get to this moment if sex was all I wanted in the first place. Especially when there's girls I don't even have to work for at all. I really like you. I want more than just sex from you. I don't mind that you're inexperienced, it's okay. I'll just go slower than I intended." Then he paused for a short moment and asked "Do you want to continue tonight?" I shook my head yes, and he proceeded. He coached me through the entire experience until I had an orgasm. It was the greatest one I've ever experienced. I've never felt my body tingle so much before. As I was climaxing Leon put his hand over my mouth to keep me from being too loud, but something about that I really liked, and not just because of the fact that it kept me from screaming and waking everybody up. Afterwards even touching my clit made me jump slightly because it was that sensitive at the moment. Leon lays down next to me and I asked him if he came and he shook his head no. I felt a little disappointed but then again, I came really fast, we weren't even going for longer than two minutes. Leon said "Don't worry about it. Tonight's not about me. It's about you." I said "I feel embarassed though. Why?" He said "I have no idea, but don't be. As a guy it's my job to get you to cum as many times as possible before I do." I smirked really big, and he began to ask questions about what experience I did have, which is barely any at all. He asked "So what all have you done before this?" I said "Nothing really." He asked "Have you ever been fingered?" I responded with "yes," then he asked "Do you finger yourself?" I laughed and said "Sometimes. I usually just rub the clit." Leon then asked "Have you ever been eaten out?" I responded with a "no," and Leon looked offended for me. He said "I feel like that ex-boyfriend of yours is lowkey gay and doesn't want to admit it." The conversation proceeded and he asked "So what all have you done to guys?" I said "Just a handjob." He said "So you never... You know..." I said "What? Sucked dick?" He shook his head 'yes' and I said "My ex-boyfriend always wanted me to, but he would like try to force it, and I didn't want to do it if it was forced, plus I was nervous about doing it in the first place so him forcing me to didn't make it easier." I confessed something as if it was so bawdy to say "But, I've practiced on banannas." Leon laughed and said "That's funny, but I'm sorry your ex-boyfriend was such an asshole." I said "It doesn't bother me anymore. I was young and dumb, and naive, and vulnerable. He knew that, and took advantage of that, but that's what opened my eyes and made me realize I shouldn't do things unless I want to." Leon asked "So he pressured you into losing your virginity?" I looked down and said "Yeah, pretty much. He had a way of making me feel guilty or like I did something wrong if I refused." He said "Lacey, that's lowkey rape." I said "Yeah, I guess." After a long pause he sighed and started to rub my stomach as I laid on my back and asked if I was ready to go again. I sat up and shook my head yes and said "But I want to try something first." He asked "What?" I said "I want to.... Try.. Sucking your dick." Leon laughed, probably at how innocent and inexperienced I sound saying that and then he sat up and said "Lacey, it's not necessary. Don't do it unless you really want to." I said "I do. I really want to. If any dick is ever going to be in my mouth I'd want it to be yours. Besides, you're not forcing it." Leon kind of chuckled and said "Are you sure?" I shook my head yes. I have no idea what made me want to do this, it really was a spontaneous desicion, but so was this whole situation and if I'm gaining experience here, I might as well gain as much as I can. As I get on my knees and Leon stands there towering over me, I start to get nervous as it was about to go down so I cleared my head and just went with it. I started sucking just the tip and realized it wasn't that bad and then I looked up to Leon and the look on his face looked as if he was really enjoying this so I thought to myself that I must be doing it right. I mean, there wasn't really a way you could fuck something as simple as this up, right?  Leon looked down at me and said "I wanna see how far down you can go." So I went down as I would on the bananas that I practiced on for this very moment. I didn't gag at all and I was able to go all the way down. This made Leon nearly estatic. I found it very odd that I didn't have a gag reflex when I would suck on bananas.. and dicks, but if something disgusting like nasty food was in my mouth I would suddenly have a gag reflex. That's exactly what happened when Leon came in my mouth, I gagged, but I swallowed it. Leon said "I'm sorry, I really should've asked if you ready for... That part." I laughed and said "It's okay."

[makadelikz]

the fast life updated 10/8/2016

The Fast Life Dear Diary…. I’m only fifteen years old and I know way more about the ‘street life’ than I should. I was raised into it so I had no choice, it’s all I know. I’ve tried to blend in with the normal girls my age at my school, but it never works. I’m sure it’s mostly because there’s no common interest. I pretty much like to sit back and watch things unfold. I’m very observant, but because of that I’m very quiet, and being the quiet kid with no friends in high school instantly makes you the loser. I didn’t mind the name calling, and I didn’t mind having no friends because I had a family. Well, the closest thing to a family I’ve ever known. The only blood I know is my older brother, he’s hard-headed, short-tempered, but he guided me and taught me everything I know. I’m still very ignorant when it comes to ‘that life’ but that’s because my older brother doesn’t really want this life for me so he only teaches me how to be observant and catch people in lies, and ironically how to be a good liar. He always says “it will come in handy for any and every situation.“ He wants me to be something successful and earn an honest living like a doctor or lawyer or something, but he and I both know that’s just wishful thinking. He always tells me "You’re too smart to go down my road.” It kind of makes me feel like shit sometimes because the guy who doesn’t really give a fuck about anything gives a fuck about me. I’m starting to think I’m literally the only thing he does care about, besides our “family.” My biological parents were the definition of dead beat. I would like to blame everything on them, but that’s just stupid. They play a role in every major mental scar I have, but other than that, it’s not really their fault my brother and I ended up this way. We could’ve bettered ourselves, we had the potential. In fact, we all had the potential, we just chose the easy way of life, but the easy way of life comes with the hardest consequences that are sometimes too hard to bear.

CHAPTER ONE:

Who am I kidding? Why am I even trying to write in a diary right now? I think that was the girliest thing I’ve ever done. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, but it’s easier to explain everything going on in my mind on paper, and of course there’s really no one else I can talk to anyway. I’m at a very stressful age, and the life I’ve been raised in doesn’t make the stress much easier. I’m only fifteen so my family pretty much sugar coats everything. I know that they’re up to nothing legal, that’s pretty obvious, but of course I’m spared the details. There’s Dominic, who is the alpha wolf, the pack leader. Whatever you want to call it. He calls the shots, and the rest follow. He’s praised in the streets, from Echo Park to Northern Cali, people know his name. Then there’s Dom’s sister Mia, she’s seemingly innocent but she’s played a hand in everything also, only because she’s loyal to family. She doesn’t necessarily agree with what her brother does for the most part, but if any cop or anyone outside the family starts asking questions she’s down to lie and create a false alibi. Then there’s Letty, the bad ass tomboy that any girl (or guy even) would be foolish to mess with. She’s Dom’s girlfriend, always by his side when they go on “runs.” Vince is my older brother. He’s ten years older than me so he basically raised me. Vince and Dom met in the third grade, they’ve been lifelong friends and Vince is loyal to him. Vince is very stubborn though and often loses his temper very quickly. He is known as the short fuse to everyone who’s ever met him. The only people he gives a damn about is us, everyone else he just looks at as if they were garbage. When it comes to family however, Vince is very caring. He has a difficult way of showing it sometimes, but he would take a bullet for any one of us. He’s also had a crush on Mia since high school so he really hates outsiders who hit on her, even though Mia makes it pretty clear that she would never date one of her brother’s friends. Vince respects that, but that doesn’t change his feelings for her. It’s sometimes painful to watch. Jesse is the sweetest person out of all of us. He’s down with 'that life’ but if you didn’t know that you would never assume that, although he’s still pretty ignorant about the street rules in most cases as well. He knows his way around an engiene and has his knack of computer hacking, so that was basically his promised initiation. Jesse joined the 'fam’ when I was ten years old and he has been here since. Then there’s Leon, there’s so much I could say about him but I’ll spare the mushy details. He joined the crew two years ago when he was eighteen years old. He’s a drifter. He traveled from place to place stayed for a few months then left. He had no real friends or family before us. I don’t know what made him stay but I’m glad he did. He and I don’t really have the closest relationship which is odd since we all live in the same house. I mean we talk and everything, but only in group dicussions, we never had a genuine personal conversation. But why would we? Why would he want to hang out with a fifteen year old girl, who doesn’t really have anything intresting to talk about anyway? I don’t even know his favorite color. It’s not that he doesn’t talk much, he just doesn’t like to talk about personal things. Took us all about a year to figure out his birthday when Dom made a comment about how we celebrated everyone else’s birthday that year except for his. He didn’t tell us his birthday because he said he’s used to people not knowing or giving a fuck. He’s never had a real birthday party. Took us six months after that to figure out where he was even initially from before he began drifting. Every time we have talked though he seemed like a very nice guy, and Dom obviously trusts him and likes him otherwise he wouldn’t have been around this long. Same vice versa.  My brother and Leon have grown very close. Vince is Dom’s right hand man, but Leon is Vince’s. Funny how that works. Oh yeah, and then there’s… Me. There’s really nothing more about me that I could say. I’m kind of… Just there. No one really asks me for things, no one really talks to me about things. I mean it’s not like I put any effort into talking to them either but my mentality plays a major role in that. I always think to myself “well if they cared they would ask” and I always just assume no one cares because no one asks and I leave it at that. I keep to myself though for the most part so I don’t really care. I know what people outside our family think about us because I hear it in school and on the streets. There’s people who think Dom is the coolest, and they want to be just like him, winning every race, and having that major street cred. Then there’s the naysayers who call us dysfunctional, and deliquents. To me though, despite how distant I feel from them half of the time, this is my family and I love them. They’re all I have, and they’re the only people I would ever trust. I would stand up for them even if I didn’t know exactly what I was defending, which is the case most of the time. I know they race, which is pretty evident because of their cars. That’s about the only thing they talk about, but even racing isn't talked about in so many explicit details. They attend Race Wars every month, which was actually an event created by Dom. I’m guessing that’s why he’s so popular on the streets. Anyways, the only time I don’t feel distant from them is on Sundays. Dom is very big on family and he carries the traits of his father, who I actually used to call grandpa when I was younger. Every Sunday after church Dom’s father would have a BBQ for everyone in the neighborhood, only if they went to church though. Dom’s father looked out for me and Vince as much as he could.  So now every Sunday, we have “Sunday Dinner.” The rest of the world, and the rest of our problems, even if they’re with each other do not matter on Sunday evenings. We will all sit, say grace, and eat food. Kind of funny how things like that work, to everyone else we’re dysfunctional deliquents, but to us, we’re family.

CHAPTER TWO:

After school I help Mia out at the cafe. It’s family owned, of course. Dom inherited it from his father, he also inherited “Torretto’s Auto Repair.” By day the boys, and Letty, are working in the garage, and Mia and I run the cafe. Very good fronts too, makes us look as if all the money we earn is from an honest living. The others will stop by after they close the garage or when they’re on lunch. Honestly, it’s the only part of the day I look forward to. Mostly because I get to see Leon. Just see him though, we never do much talking. I find my obvious attraction to him pretty awkward though. I mean we hardly know each other on a personal level. That and he’s four years older than me, but he acts way older than nineteen (almost twenty) sometimes I actually forget that he is really only four years older than me. To him I’m just Vince’s little sister. Well, that’s pretty much what I am to everyone, like I said, everyone knows Dom, so everyone knows Dom’s crew as well. Since Vince is Dom’s right hand man, it’s pretty much a sacred rule not to fuck with him either. So just being Vince’s little sister has pretty much prevented every fight I’ve almost been in at school. Nobody wants that kind of trouble. Not that I think my brother would actually harm a teenage girl (or boy) for harming me, but I’ll let them think it if it saves my ass. “Hey Lacey, can you do me a favor and stock the shelf over there with more chips?” Mia interrupts my daydreams. I don’t have a problem with doing it at all, but being in my head is the best place I know. Being snapped out of it to do something such as stock a stupid shelf is pretty annoying. I would never take it out on her though. Mia is the person I’m probably the closest with at least as of recently. I mean there’s my brother, but some of the things Mia and I have talked about since I began helping out here are things I could literally never talk about with my brother. Mostly because it’s been girly things, but our talks really haven’t been genuine anyway because I keep a lot of shit to myself. The thought of even talking about half of this girly stuff with Mia, let alone Vince, is kind of fucking awkward. I remember being little though and walking around the Torretto house in Mia’s shoes that definitely were too substantial for me. I’ve practically lived here before I actually did live here. Mia would braid my hair and tell me stories, paint my nails, you know, girly shit. I admired her. I wanted to be just like her when I got older, but now, I don’t even want to be myself half of the time. Still wouldn’t trade this life for anything though simply because these people are priceless. No amount of anything could ever replace any of them. As I’m stocking the shelf, I hear a too familiar sound. The sound of street racing cars, but only the finest for Torretto’s crew. One by one they enter the cafe greeting Mia. I thought to myself “Am I really this fucking invisible to everybody?” But then out of nowhere, the unexpected happened, Leon fucking says hi to me and asked me for a bag a chips from the box and told me not to tell Mia, even though Mia already knows, especially since she looked right over at him and gave him 'the stare.’ She just hates re-doing the inventory and everyone knows that. “What kind do you want?” There were only two different kinds to choose from that were left in the box, but I wanted to cling on to the conversation for as long as I possibly could. “Uh, I think I’m gonna go with the Frito’s today.” I handed him the chips and he walked off. Best twenty seconds of the day. I know this sounds fucking pathetic, but I’m only a fifteen year old girl who never had a real relationship exactly and this is my first real die-hard crush on a guy, so what do you expect? My brother walks over to me shortly afterward, I already knew his favorite kind of chips, he gets the same kind every day. I handed him the bag and he said “Thanks Lacey, but that’s not the only reason I came over here. I got you something.” He pulls something out of his pocket and it’s a jewelry box with a necklace inside. “I remember you telling me you wanted this necklace so I ordered it online and had it shipped to the garage.” I was shocked because I wasn’t expecting this, but also because I never thought he would even remember that I fucking said that. I just brought up the necklace to break awkward silence in the car ride home when he picked me up from school about a month ago. I hugged him so tightly, and it was the most genuine hug we’ve shared in quite awhile. I don’t know what made him have such a good mood today, but I am thankful for whatever it was because Vince hasn’t been like this for a few months. I was starting to think that he didn’t have an ounce of compassion left in him. I was starting to think none of them had any compassion left in them. Sunday dinners were getting quieter and quieter. I put the necklace on. It was a shiny gold lock-it, I’m surprised Vince remembered that I prefer gold over silver. The state of contentment quickly faded when I realized that, there’s really no one or anything special that comes to mind that would even be inside this necklace. I mean, of course there is my family, but that’s cliche and just a given because they’re really all I know and there’s two sides. Who or what would go on the other side? The satisfaction faded even faster when I remembered how expensive this necklace was, and I knew there was no way Vince could afford something like this and still have tons of money leftover by just doing brake checks, and tune ups. Even the overall family money earned from just the garage and the cafe wouldn’t be enough to just blow money everyday, especially with bills for the house, garage, and cafe combined. Plus, there’s a least ten-thousand dollars under the hood of each of their cars, and that's just under the hood and not the entirety of the car itself. It’s pretty obvious that they have a source of income from something else as well. I always just kept my mouth shut though, because it wasn’t really important to me at the time, nor was it my business.

CHAPTER THREE:

The unwanted sound of my alarm clock woke me up. Time for school! Only the enthusiasm part of that is nothing but sarcastic. I had to wake up even earlier than necessary just to have enough time to convince myself to even go, that and to get ready. I do my hair, makeup, teeth brushed, all the usual shit. The worst part was the stupid uniform. Plaid skirt, stupid tie, stupid vest, stupid buttoned up white collared shirt, stupid knee high socks, and stupid shoes. Oh and if we didn’t want to wear the vest we had to wear the shirt with the school logo on it, or the jacket. Having half of my closet filled with identical clothing irritated me so much. Reminded me of a cartoon character and how in every episode they would be in the same exact outfit. The only thing about the outfit that can be modified was the shoes, as long as they were all black. I think what I hated about all this the most was that I fell into a routine, as if I was living the same day over and over again, and it didn’t help that five days out of the week, I had to wear identical clothing as the previous day. It sounds like I’m complaining, I know. Most people in this world have this exact description for their life. The nine to five grind. I don’t want that though, and I know damn well that we don’t have that, I just want to be apart of whatever it is that they do. Today at school they’re handing out progress reports during every English or reading class. A progress report pretty much shows you what your grade in every class is, and tells you that you have a couple weeks to improve or maintain your grade before report cards are finalized and mailed out to your homes. I knew I was going to have a horrible grade in math, and some pretty bad grades in other classes too, but none that would fail me. It wasn’t that I didn’t get the material, except for Algebra, that class is literally gibberish to me, but for the rest of my classes it’s just that I didn’t care. I had no motivation whatsoever to even pretend to care, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed. I’ve been called to talk one-on-one with every single teacher I have, nearly every day, and that isn’t an exaggeration. Today, my history teacher pulled me aside after class and said “Lacey, I’m sure you know what we’re going to talk about.” I said “I know, it’s my grade. You gave me a D.” He said “I didn’t gve you anything less than what you deserved. I don’t understand Lacey, you get the material. Everything you have turned in has practically a perfect grade every time. The problem is getting you to turn in every assignment. The ones you do turn in aren’t even on time, which takes points off, which brings your grade down even more. You’re smart, you really are, but you concern me, last year you were impeccable, and I even considered putting you in my honors class, but this year you’ve let me down.” I almost felt like shit, but Mr. Klaskow isn’t anyone special to me. However, his lecture definitely didn’t settle right in my head, especially when he said he’s going to have to contact a “parent” for a conference. I screamed internally. I said “Please don’t! I’ll change my attitude around, I promise.” It’s not that I was scared, but it’s just hard explaining to teachers why my brother is listed as my Guardian, and why my parents are basically non-existing. Also, Vince would not be happy about coming down to the school, simply because he hates explaining why he is my Guardian as well. He feels like it’s really no one’s business. Ultimately, it’s because the school raises red flags for students who don’t live in what society deems as a normal, funcational household. There would literally be a little red flag symbol next to my name in the school’s system to signify that I’m what they call an “at risk youth” simply because I don’t live in a traditional household. So basically, every teacher and school counselor will poke their noses where it doesn’t belong and begin to ask a lot of questions that they don’t need to be asking. This is why I switched schools, because I was flagged at my old school as an “at risk youth” and the school guidance counselor didn’t “believe me” when I said my home life is absolutely fine, so she sent The Department of Children and Families to my house with a social worker who wanted to place me in foster care. Surprisingly, Vince won the trial by having a fantasic lawyer who’s name was Saul, I believe, who actually came all the way from New Mexico. Apparently Leon knew him and hooked Vince up, and they convinced the jury that simply living in a house that doesn’t have a mother or father doesn’t mean it’s dysfunctional, and that I still get all the love and care a child needs. Anyways, Mr. Klaskow sighed really long and hard, but he said “Lacey you have three weeks to prove your statement true, but I will make sure I talk to all of your teachers as well and make sure you’re improving in every class, not just mine.” I literally wasn’t expecting this answer, but thank you Mr. Klaskow, partly genuine, partly sarcastic. Why did he have to continue with "but I’m going to talk to all of your teachers as well?” I went straight home after school because Mia texted me and told me there wasn’t much to help out with at the cafe for today. I sat down on the couch, and basically mimicked my teacher’s sigh.  I thought to myself “How in the hell am I going to improve in math? The rest will be easy, but math!? Why did Mr. Klaskow say he would talk to all of my teachers? Why can’t he just worry about HIS class?!?!“ I pulled out my Algebra textbook and sat at the coffee table and almost wanted to cry because I could feel my brain pulsating into a migraine by trying to force myself to understand something that appears as hieroglyphics to my eyes. It’s literally a foreign language to me. It’s easily compared to the cashier who always tries to talk to me in Spanish at the Latin Market down the street. Can’t he tell I don’t fucking understand? The only reason I go in there is because Mexican soda is to die for. Leon walks out of the kitchen and it startled me inside because I didn’t think anyone was home. He said "I heard you sighing in the kitchen. You sound pretty stressed. You okay?” I literally stared at him for half a second before responding. I said “Umm, yeah…. (sighs) No.. I don’t fucking get this shit.” He giggled. I looked up at him to read his body language to see if he was being playful, or being a dick. I could tell by his smile he was being playful, but I wasn’t in the mood, yes not even for Leon. I said “What’s so funny?” He said “Relax, I’m just playin’.  You know I could help you if you want? Algebra and History are the only two subjects I was ever actually good in. Failed the rest. Well, I failed the rest just because I never wanted to do the work, and I never went to school, but I understood it to an extent.” I looked up in shock not only because he offered to help me, which means one-on-one time with Leon, which I’ve been practically dreaming about, but because he said he’s excellent at algebra. I guess I thought longer than I needed to with my response because then he said “Well……?” I said “That would be amazing. I need to learn this in three weeks.” He said “I could teach you this shit in a day.” He sat down on the ground next to me, I could literally hear him breathe he was so close, but I didn’t mind. He said “So where are we starting?” I just looked up and smiled. Involuntary I guess, but I just couldn’t contain the excitement I felt.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The tutoring has been going on for a month now. I’m not using him just to keep him around though, I have actually learned algebra, but each new chapter is still confusing, but less confusing thanks to Leon. My grades did improve, and Mr. Klaskow never called my brother to arrange a conference. It has been pleasent having Leon around me every day after school though. I started asking for help in almost every subject just to keep him around longer. Okay, I confessed. I am looking for excuses to keep him around longer, and the bonus is the grades I’m getting. I know that it seems like I was using him just because I had a little crush on him, but honestly I knew that the crush was never going to go anywhere anyway, and it’s certainly not like he’ll ever know, because that means I would have to tell him. He’s also way older and more mature than me. I genuinely just kept him around because I liked the company, I liked feeling like I had a “friend.” He didn’t even mind tutoring me, It’s like he looked forward to it. I know I certainly did.   Today we were in the middle of our tutoring session, and I was literally too deep in trying to figure out the answer to a problem that for a split second I forgot Leon was actually right there analyzing my work. He asked me a question, which made me completely lose track of what I was doing within this multi-step equation. I didn’t mind though because the question made me feel very worhty, and pleasent for a short second, but then I remembered the reality behind the answer to that question. It was such a simple question, but a question that nobody has asked me for a few years now. The question was “How are you feeling?” I know it was probably in refrence to the tutoring because we’ve actually studied longer than usual today, but that question alone has an endless list for me. I could go on and on about how I’m feeling Leon, do you really want to go there? I didn’t actually ask him that though. To be honest I’m pretty good at coming up with bullshit answers to avoid confrontation right on the spot, but today, right now, I couldn’t. I just blankly stared at him and then looked down and said “I don’t know.” He said “Hey, are you alright? Is there something you want to tallk about?” In my head I’m screaming isn’t that obvious? But I just look back at him trying to contain my emotions and said “no,” as in there’s nothing I want to talk about, but my voice fucking cracked! Of course it did. Now he knows I’m lying, and now he’s going to poke at this until he gets a straight answer, but contrary to my belief he just looked at me and said “I know that’s a lie, but I’m not going to make you talk about something you don’t want to talk about, but just know that you’re not alone, and I will literally sit with you for hours and hours and talk with you about anything you need to talk about.” I saw genuine compassion for the first time in his bright green eyes, and it was for me. A fucking tear came down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away and pretended like that didn’t just happen, I didn’t even feel like I was on the verge of tears, thank you body for signaling me like you’re supposed to! He obviously saw it though. I know he did, he just sympathetically touched my shoulder and closed my text book and said “we can be done for today,” and he softly smiled and walked away. I literally went straight to my room, and threw my face into the pillow and lost myself. I cried for hours. Why was I being so emotional? Oh, because that was first time in such a long time that anyone in the house actually cared about what was on my mind, and how I was feeling.  I’ve prepared for this moment for awhile. What I would say. I would be straight-forward and tell them that I hate being excluded and that I’m not an idiot, but why couldn’t I do that today? I literally thought I could write a dissertation about how I feel, but when it came down to it I choked up. I’m a fucking mess. Now, I know I'm probably overreacting just a tad, but coming from feeling like you're all alone in the world to instantly seeing someone that you actually fancy show concern for you, is pretty overwhelming. Later that night while eating dinner at the dining room table everyone was quiet for the most part, but that was beginning to become a usual thing. Oddly enough Leon is the one who starts conversation. He’s been a lot more chatty lately. It feels almost as if that he’s finally genuinely content with us, and being around us. As I mentioned before, Leon was a drifter. He didn’t stay in places for a long time. This has been the longest he’s stayed anywhere since the moment he began drifting. Kind of pleasing to know that Leon feels like he has a place to refer to as home. Out of all people Leon could talk to though, he initiated conversation with me. You would think this is something I would want, and a few weeks ago it’s something I literally would hope for, but after what happened earlier today this is not something I want right now at all. All the attention will be on me, which is also something I’ve been hoping for, but now that I got it the feeling is a bit too uneasy for me. “So, Lacey…. You really never talk during dinner. Why is that?” Leon asked. It’s almost as if he’s testing me, and it’s kind of irritating. I said “Well, no one ever really talks to me.” He said, “Well lets all play would you rather” I gave him such a puzzled expression. Usually I can read people like a book, I can predict literally almost every move or motive from a person, but Leon is a different story. A book that’s in a different language. This is definitely not something I was expecting, even Vince laughed at his request but Jesse said he’s down to do it, and Mia said “That sounds like fun, we haven’t had a family game night in ages.” Vince continued to laugh and said “…Alright…” in a tone as if he wasn’t really into it but he didn’t want to be the only one not playing. Leon looked directly at me and it was as if he smiling through his eyes. I don’t know if I’m infuriated or bewildered. Did he do this to piss me off? It certainly feels like it but at the same time, Leon never striked me as the kind of person who would actually do that intetionally. Especially not after today when he seemed so compassionate towards me. What is he doing exactly? A few hours after dinner Vince, Dom and Letty left. They of course didn’t say where they were going but I’m sure it was nothing vigorous. Jesse and Mia were asleep. I looked out the window and watched the others leave but then noticed Leon’s car was still in the driveway. I went looking for him and found him in the backyard. I said “So what was that for?” he looked as if he was taken aback by my question he said “What was what for?” I said “You know, the whole thing you pulled tonight at dinner.” He said “Lacey, I didn’t pull anything. I thought you realized what my objective was.” Now I’m the one that’s dumbfounded. I asked him “What do you mean?” He said “My plan was to get them to talk to you, and ask you questions. You said no one really ever talks to you, but tonight, every single one of them did.” I was kind of pleased with his answer, still a bit confused though. I said “Why would you rather though?” He said “It’s one of my favorite games. You can get way more creative with would you rather as opposed to twenty questions. Plus, when you put someone on the line and give them two scenarios and two choices, you can tell a lot about that person simply by which outcome they…. Would rather. No matter how silly or simple the question.” It took me a minute to settle with what he said but it was honestly the best thing I’ve ever heard him say. I sat down near him on the back steps and asked something I probably shouldn’t have and said “Why didn’t you go with Vince, Dom and Letty? You usually do.” He said “Because I don’t have to……” I left it at that and was quiet for a minute, I wanted to initiate conversation but at the same time my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Leon interrupted the silence and said “Sorry if that sounded abrupt, I didn’t mean for it to. It’s just that I don’t need to go with them all the time, sometimes, I just like to rest…..” I smiled and said “Why do you always have toothpicks in your mouth?” It was such a dumb question, I know, but I wanted to switch the topic. He laughed and said “What an odd question, but I like it, I like odd,” and he continued with “and I don’t always have a toothpick.” We both started laughing. Then he said “I used to smoke cigarettes. Nearly a pack a day. I quit cold turkey. One of the things that I picked up instead of a cigarette was a toothpick. It’s the habit of constantly having something in my hand that was hard to kick. I also started chewing gum. Not nicotine gum, but regular gum, but toothpicks kind of just stuck. Every time I felt the urge I would just chew on a toothpick until it passed. The irony is that now I have a toothpick addiction.” We both chuckled at the ironic outcome of the toothpicks, but the conversation kind of dropped there when Mia opened the door and asked me to help her do the dishes. Leon smiled at me and said “Talk to you tomorrow.”

CHAPTER FIVE:

Dear DIary…. Why am I writing in this dumb book? Why am I writing as if anyone is actually reading this other than me? I honestly never thought I would be this girly, but here I am writing in a journal and addressing it as my diary. It’s honestly stress relieving though. Anyways, since I’m here I might as well talk about my life the past few months since it’s been that long since I’ve last written in here. Leon and I have developed a very odd friendship, but a friendship to say the least. Most of our conversations are short, the longest time we spend together talking is about school related sutff. Nothing other than that has been exciting lately. Nothing out of the oridinary. Dom, Vince, Letty, Jesse and Leon still go on… night adventures. That’s what I like to call them. They leave late at night, and usually don’t come back until about 6AM, of course I still don’t know what they’re up to, and when it comes to that I’m completely out of the loop. I just know that every time they leave Mia gets upset, but in a way where she knows she can’t do anything about whatever is bothering her so she just lets it go. Today is Leon’s birthday. We haven’t actually celebrated his birthday since we’ve known him. I don’t want to push it, but I do want to surprise him since he’s never had a real birthday party. I bought him a cake, but my excuse will be because of all the help he’s given me with tutoring, that’s if he doesn’t appreciate the fact that I’m attempting to celebrate his birthday. I’m sure he  won’t mind though… At least I hope not. I probably should've just gotten candy, because that would've been a lot easier to dismiss since Leon's birthday is three days before Halloween. I’m supposed to meet him today directly after school at his new house, yeah he moved out, which is kind of upsetting, but he told me it was only temporary, I don’t know why he moved out, all I know is that him and Vince got into a disagreement because they shared a room. I guess Leon didn’t like Vince bringing in random girls all hours of the night, at least that was my assumption. Leon said he has roommates now, which I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not really used to being around anyone that isn’t my household. I just hope they’re not home when I’m there today.

After the last bell at school rang I quickly got out of there to avoid any teachers talking to me, they haven’t lately because my grades have actually improved, but just in case. Well, that and I was eager to pick up Leon’s cake from the bakery. I don’t even like cake, but I’m hoping he does otherwise this would be a very awkward situation. I finally got the cake and got on the city bus, which is actually a pretty frightening experience for me, I hate the city bus, every time I’ve rode it by myself some creepy person always tries to talk to me. Didn’t help that I was in a school uniform which is a top porn fantasy, my school is setting girls like me up for high anxiety in risky situations. There was literally this one time this creepy older dude was pestering me and asking me if I would join him and his wife in a threesome, but I pretended that I didn't speak any English which worked a litte bit, but I think the guy could tell I was faking it. However, some random dude who overheard the pervert saved the day. Surprisingly I made it off the bus alive, and my anxiety only reached a mild point. I finally found the house Leon is staying at now and I knocked on the door. It took him a few minutes but he finally opened it, he smiled and said “Hey Lacey.” and cocked his head towards the direction of the living room and told me to come in, I said “Wait. I’ve got something for you.” He turned back around with bewilderment, and I picked up the cake that I placed on the ground next to the door so he wouldn’t notice it right away. I said “..Happy Birthday.” and I smiled at him. He just stared at the cake and back at me, he did this a few more times and now at this point my anxiety is through the roof and I’m thinking to myself damn I fucked up but he started to laugh, it was a joyous laugh, he smiled real hard and I could honestly see his eyes water, my heart was beating insanely fast. He said “Thank you so much Lacey, I wasn’t expecting this… This… This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Literally.” I wanted to start crying because I thought he was starting to get upset, but I feel accomplished now. He immediately cut out a slice and offered me a piece and I said “No thank you, I actually don’t like cake. I would’ve gotten ice cream but it would’ve melted on the bus.” He smiled and said “It’s alright. You could’ve gotten me pretzels and stuck a sticky note onto the bag that said happy birthday and I would’ve been just as pleased.” I smiled real hard. Then out of nowhere he hugs me, and kisses me on top of my head. Anxiety level went from chill to almost panic attack in less than a second. I could smell alcohol on his breath when he got close to me. I said “Leon, are you okay?” He said “No, not really. I am now, but….” He didn’t continue his thought. I said “When did you start drinking today?” He said “When I woke up at eleven. I’m sorry Lacey I know I said I would help you today, but I forgot today was my birthday until I woke up. Birthdays aren’t really an exciting day for me, they never really were. This turned into the best birthday I’ve ever had though…. Thanks to you.” That comment sent chills down my spine. Just a few months ago I felt as if Leon didn’t really even acknowledge the fact that I existed, and now according to him, I gave him the best birthday of all his twenty years of life. I said “It’s okay, you don’t have to help me today. I’m actually doing pretty good. The only reason I asked you to study today was because I wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” I sounded as if I was confessing something bawdy, like he’s a Catholic preist and I’m the sinner. He said “Honestly…. Thank you so much Lacey….. Also, if you ever need anything… Anything at all.. I know I’m not down the hall anymore but you can come over here whenever you want. I’ll be here unless I’m with Dom, and all of them.” I was almost tempted to ask him what is he does when he’s “with Dom, and all of them” but I’m having a good day, and we’re having a good moment, and I don’t want to spoil that. Maybe, I’ll ask him tomorrow since I'm getting a little bit more brave when it comes to actually talking to him. Leon drove me home so I didn’t have to ride the bus, especially now since it’s almost dark outside. He pulled up in front of the house and said “Thank you again for a great birthday, Lacey. Also, how did you even get the money for the cake? I didn’t think Mia paid you for helping out at the cafe.” She didn’t usually. She used to but hasn’t in awhile, and I’m not going to ask for money like that. It was kind of like allowance money for doing chores. However, I actually was selling stuff at school, that’s how I got the money, but I wasn’t going to answer, and I didn’t think he would ask this so I wasn’t prepared for any sort of escape route. I shot back with “How did you get the money for every modified piece for this car? Or even the car itself? I didn’t think doing brake checks, and tune ups paid for a luxury living.” He looked back at me, and he looked very shocked and didn’t say anything for a couple seconds I started to feel shitty but then he looked at me and said “Touche.” On Halloween day I overheard everyone talking in the kitchen, I heard Leon too, I stopped to hear what they were talking about, considering they thought I wasn’t around. It would be interesting to hear what would come up. At first I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned “the meet up” tonight. I’ve heard them refer to things as “the meet up” before, but I don’t know what it is. What the hell are they going to do? I ran back upstairs and called a friend of mine, the only friend I actually have, and even she is not someone I fully trust, but she lives in a different city, and I know she has a car, and I asked her if she could come visit immediately, and that we’re going to need her car tonight. I thought to myself what am I doing right now? Am I actually considering following my family just to see what it is that they do? I kept thinking of every rational excuse if I was to get caught, but I honestly couldn’t think of one, especially because I don’t even know what it is I’m about to stumble upon. Even Mia is going tonight, is it that big? Mia usually never goes with them. Only once in a blue moon. Chandler and I hung out in my room all day, I discussed the plans with her, and she said “As long you don’t get me killed I’m down for whatever.” I could hear everyone getting ready to leave, so me and Chandler snuck out the back door and ran to her car before anyone got outside, we dunked in her car so they wouldn’t see us we waited for all of them to get halfway down the road before Chandler turned her car on and began to follow. We followed them but stayed at a safe distance, we saw that there was a street blockage, but with hundreds of other street racing cars I was thinking what the fuck but Chandler said “Holy shit this looks cool.” She began to drive closer to the car “meet,” and I said “Chandler, no. Do you see all those cars? None of them look like yours, because they’re modified street racing cars. You have a 2008 Chevy Malibu. They’re going to think you’re an average person, and they’re not going to let you in. Park in the parking garage down the block that way, it’s free.” I thought to myself that was a pretty excellent point, but also I could see Leon’s car parked in one of the intersections, he was the guy blocking the road. How awkward would that have been for Chandler to casually drive up next to his yellow imported-from-Europe-1996 Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 in her used-bought-off-the-street-silver 2008 Chevy Malibu with me in the passenger seat? We walked back down towards the blockage but I said “Lets enter a different way.” So we took a right at the last intersection before the blockage, walked down the block to the next blockage of parked cars with people who weren’t even paying attention, but also people who wouldn’t recognize me.   We started blending into the crowd, but Chandler of course doesn’t exactly know the real reason we’re here. I told her the basic outline of tonight’s plans but she doensn’t exactly know why I wanted to follow my brother. She doesn’t even know what my brother looks like or anyone else in the family for that matter. She thinks that I snuck her into some kind of party and that nobody would really care if they saw me. She started to have too much fun. She was dancing with random people, and even shared a blunt with someone for like five minutes. I walked over to her and these random guys smoking blunts and said “Chandler, lets go.” I grabbed her hand seeing how she’s already high as hell and we walk through the crowd, I want to get closer to the center because that seems to be where everyone was gravitating their focus to. I got close enough. I saw my brother, Dom, Letty, Jesse, and Mia. I got there just in time to hear Dom say “Okay Hector will hold the money” and he handed this Hector a fat stack of cash. It was evident that everyone who put in the money was going to race Dom. The concept was easy to grasp. Whoever won, got the entire stack of cash and whatever else was betted. I felt uneasy, but it was starting to make sense. I thought to myself okay so they street race at least they’re not hitmen but I still felt like I was missing so much more. Dom invented this thing called Race Wars that happened once of month, but this wasn’t it. Vince took me to one of the Race War meets a couple years ago. Apparently Dom has it rigged to where it’s legal, as long as no bets are made, but seeing this, I’m sure there’s bets made under the table. I turned to talk to Chandler but she wasn’t next to me. I started freaking out, but I was mostly pissed off, because she’s been wondering off since we got here. How could she just walk away and not tell me? Also, how is she going to say "as long as you don't get me killed, I'm down for whatever" when she's the one being reckless and putting herself in sketchy positions where dangerous scenarios are more than likely to happen? We were surrounded by a lot of people, too many people, I could smell the toothpaste on some people’s breaths. She was just right next to me a few moments ago. I fought my way through the crowd to look for her, but someone grabs my arm and turns me around and my heart sank to the fucking ground. “Lacey!? What are you doing here!?” It was Leon. I was so careful, how the hell did he just happen to find me? I didn’t say anything I yanked my arm from his hand and ran away. I couldn’t find Chandler anywhere, and at this moment I was panting. I ran back to the parking garage. Chandler’s car was still parked. The cold Halloween night air was making me breathe really heavy. I had no choice but to run back and attempt to look for her. I saw Leon sitting in his car again, as if what just happened didn’t fucking happen. He seemed to be more alert though as if he was looking for me, but as if he couldn’t leave his car at the same time. I saw him talk into a walkie talkie and then next thing I knew I heard joyous screams as if the race was about to go down, I heard engienes revving, and I fought my way through all the crowds, I made my way to front of the crowd just in time to see the cars breeze right past me. They only raced a quarter mile, and Dom won. I could hear cheering, and I saw the Hector guy give Dom all the money. I still feel like this isn’t the only source of mysterious income, but at the moment that wasn’t on my mind. I couldn’t find my friend and next thing I knew I heard sirens. These things get shut down real fast apparently. Everyone scattered like roaches to their cars and headed out immediately. Cops were chasing cars left to right and even stopping pedestrians. I ran as fast as I could to the parking garage thinking that Chandler would now have enough sense to come back to her car, but she still wasn’t there. I waited for like five minutes and thought holy fuck where is she it doesn’t take that long to get here especially when you’re running because of the COPS. I ran out of the parking garage and started walking pretty fast the cops seemed to have been off chasing cars now, I heard a car screech and pull up behind me. It was Leon. He seemed angry as fuck and it scared me, I’ve never seen him this mad he said “Get in!” We didn’t say a word to each other the whole way home. During the ride he didn’t seem pissed off, just concerned. I asked “Are you going to tell Vince?” He said “No. As far as I’m concerned we’re not even having this conversation right now. If you want to tell Vince then that’s on you.” I left the conversation alone after that. We were the first ones back home, and Leon said “Thank God. Get out and run to the backdoor, make it look like you didn’t even go out tonight.” I began to ask what the huge deal was, but he cut me off, so I did exactly what he said. I ran to the back door, up to my room, changed into some gray sweatpants and a black and yellow Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt. I threw my hair up in a bun and removed my makeup. I look as if I was sleeping this entire time and I finished just in time. Gradually everyone began walking through the front door as I was peeking down from the stairs, no one sees me yet. They all walk in so casually, as if none of this even happened. As if they weren’t just being car chased by police. I went downstairs and Leon shot me this look as if he was telepathically telling me to “play it cool.” I walked up to Vince and he said “Hey what’s up Lacey. Still awake?” I said “Yeah, couldn’t sleep.”

CHAPTER SIX:

The next morning, no one is home except for Vince, I go downstairs and sit next to him on the couch. I immediately started asking him questions about last night. I gave him the opprotunity to tell me the truth, but after I asked him what he did last night he just said “What do you think I did?” I said “I don’t know that’s why I’m asking.” He said “Well, what did you and your friend do last night?” It’s like he knows I was testing him so now he’s testing me. I said “Why?” he said “Why does what I did matter?” I just sat there in silence. He said “So… Is there anything you want to tell me?” I just looked up at him and thought to myself if I tell him the truth maybe he won’t care, maybe he’ll finally keep me in the loop with everything. Plus, he’s answering my questions with questions as if he already knows exactly what I’m getting at and exactly what Chandler and I did last night. I know my brother all too well and continuing to lie isn't going to me any good because then Vince won't trust me. If Vince starts answering your questions with codenscending questions, he knows whatever it is you think you're hiding. I immediately came clean and said “I followed you last night, I saw the race and everything.” He looked at me as if he wasn’t shocked and he just bluntly said “I know. I knew this day would come. I guess I just wanted to hold on to your innocence a little longer. Next time though you better ask me so I can keep you safe. I also know that your friend wasn’t safe.” I was surprised to hear him say that. How could he have possibly known Chandler got lost or whatever happened to her? I mean, him knowing I was there wasn’t surprising, he could’ve saw me just as easily as Leon did. Or did Leon tell him? I asked “Is she okay? I’ve been trying to call and text her all morning.” He said “She lost her phone, but she’s fine. She got into a random person’s car and went to a random after party. Hector told me she saw her there after she walked up to him fucked out of her mind asking "Can you help me find Lacey Scaletta?” I’m sorry to say this Lacey, but friends like her can get you killed or locked up. I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore…. At least if I’m not around.“ I jokingly said "You technically were though,” but he just gave me 'the look’. However, I knew what he was saying was true. Chandler was too unpredictable and wild. She was a great friend when it came down to it, but in situations like last night she can’t be trusted. She could’ve gotten me or herself killed. Smoking weed, popping bottles, going home and partying with strangers, She could’ve been raped and killed. She didn’t even bother contacting me through social media to say she was okay or that she was sorry for making me freak out so badly. I said to Vince “I don’t really hang out with Chandler much anyway, she lives in Riverside. She’s just the only person I know with a car other than you guys.” He said “Hey….. You know what… How about I let you drive my car.” I said “When!? Right now? For what?” He said “Yes, and because I’m going to teach you how to drive. You’ll be sixteen in two months, I knew how to drive when I was fourteen. I’m not about to let my baby sister not know how to drive.” We started to walk outside towards his car, and I said “Wait, what else is it that you guys do? And I want the truth.” He looked at me very puzzled, but he sighed and said “Get in, I’ll explain.” I’m actually driving pretty well, and Vince said he was impressed, and I am too. I didn’t think it would be this easy, but once I got used to the small things like putting my foot on the brake to switch gears the rest came naturally. He occasionally told me to slow down or speed up but it was my first time I wasn’t quite use to the feel yet. He said “Alright pull over into that parking lot.” I recognized this place I said “Hey, isn’t this where Race Wars is at every month?” He said “Yeah, I’ve taken you here once, remember?” I said “Yes! That’s exactly why I remember this place.” He said “Pull over to the track.” Once I got there he said “Now, go as fast as you can, and when I say stop slam your foot on the brake.” I said “Are you serious?” He said “I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” So I did it and I could feel the adrenaline pump through my veins. This has honestly been one of the nicest days I’ve spent with Vince in such a long time. We started laughing directly after I slammed my foot on the break and he said “So do you really want to know what it is we do other than street racing and Race Wars?” I looked at him as if that was a dumb question and said “Yes Vince. I hate feeling like I’m entirely out of the loop, as if none of you even trust me enough to tell me.” He said “That’s just it Lacey, we have to trust you entirely before we tell you.” I said “Vince I’m your little sister. I would lie for you, I would die for you, Vince. I know it’s supposed to be the other way around, but I love you just as much as you love me, and I would die for you too. I would lie or die for any of you. You guys are all I got, do you really think I would go out and tell the world? I’ve always known you guys were up to something, I just didn’t know what it was exactly. I want to be apart of whatever it is, I want to be one of you!” He said “Alright, but it takes time, I can’t just throw you into the ring and expect you to win the fight. I have to train you. We all do. We also all have our own roles. I know you’ve seen the inside of Leon’s car, so I know you saw the police scanner, that’s evidently his role. I do the dirty work, Dom and Letty are the main shot callers basically, but they’re just body guards for me technically, and Jesse he’s the mechanic, he’s the one who makes our cars pretty much bullet proof, and he juices up our cars for races."I asked "So the races are rigged?” He said “No, that’s not what I meant. We just have an extra boost of Nitrious Oxide.” I asked “So is Dom the only one who races or do you all race?” He said “We pretty much all get our turn, but Dom mainly.” I continued to ask questions because he seemed to start holding back on answers. “So street racing is the only thing you do?” He said “No. There’s a shipping yard a few miles north. There’s a dirty inside job there, but one of the guys on the inside of that dirty job is on the inside with us. He’s basically our informant. He tells us what trucks the fake shipments are in and it’s route and we hijack it. Most of the time it’s truck loads of money, sometimes it’s money and cocaine. We thought about taking the cocaine too, but that’s not our thing, and we give our informant more share than he normally gets that’s what’s in it for him.” I asked “So do you kill the truck drivers?” Vince said “No! We don’t kill anyone. I hijack the truck, and shoot the driver with a tranq bullet, we take what we want, and we leave the truck on the side of the road, the driver eventually wakes up, but by that time we’re already long gone.” I asked “When’s the next shipment?” He laughed a little under his breath and said “That's not for you to worry about.” I said “But if you’re the one who hijacks the truck that means the rest of them are just in their cars, I can just sit with them and watch you hijack.” He said “Sit with who?” I said Leon and Vince immediately said no. I asked him what he had against Leon since the way he said no made it seem like he did have something against him, or at least something against me riding with him, and he said “I have nothing against him, I just don’t want you to go.” I begged and begged and begged, and he finally gave in he said “You know what, if you work in the garage with me for awhile instead of the cafe then I will let you go, but only if you’re in Leon’s car because he’s in the back, Letty does dangerous shit, and Jesse is in the front towards the side and Dom and I are directly in front of the truck, and usually the drivers have weapons. ” I was totally fine with riding with Leon for the obvious reasons, but even more fine with it because of what Vince just said. I asked if the garage was illegal too just to be a sarcastic asshole and he actually said “Technically. It’s a chop shop. We do illegal repossesions, we take parts for our cars and we sell other parts, and we also have some random customers, but they’re mostly from people in the street racing world. Civilians don’t like the name Toretto.” I said “Well, they sure like the cafe.” He said “Let me rephrase that. They don’t like the name Toretto when Dominic is in front of it. They don’t mind Mia.” Vince looked at me and said “By the way… They don’t like the name Scaletta either.” Then he smiled at me and started laughing. I was really pushing on this hijack topic because I was trying to grasp my mind around the fact that my family hijacks semi-trucks. I asked "How long have the hijacks been going on?” He said “Maybe about a year or so.” I said “And the guy who’s on the inside hasn’t been caught yet? Don’t you think they would assume one of their guys is being a traitor when all their shipments get fucked up?” Vince said “You really do think just like me don’t you?” He laughed and continued with “Don’t worry about it Lacey. It’s nothing you need to even worry about at all anyway, but we already got it covered.” I said “Well, other than that, you do realize that the longer this goes on, the FBI might get involved. They’re basically organzied heists.... Well, they are organized heists.” Vince sighed in a tone as if he knew I was right but just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet. He said “Alright, kiddo. Switch spots with me. It’s time to go home.” That night I saw that Leon was there and asked him if he told Vince about last night, and he said “No, I told you as far as I’m concerned last night didn’t even happen.” I asked “Well how did he find out?” He looked at me confused and said “He knows?” I said “Yeah, but he wasn’t even mad about it…. At all actually.” He said “Hmm, that’s strange but like I said Lacey anything you don’t want Vince or anyone to know I won’t say shit. I won’t even say shit to anyone about anything even if you don’t explicitly ask me to not tell anyone.” I said “But you’re like my brother’s right hand man….” He laughed and said “That doesn’t mean I have to inform him of every single thing that happens in my personal life.” I was extremely pleased that he implied I was apart of his personal life. The next day at school when I was going to lunch I saw Vince in the school office, I walked in and asked him what he was doing here he said “I’m granting permission for Dom, Letty, Mia, Jesse, and Leon to come pick you up from school in case anything ever happens and I’m not available to come get you.” I said “Okay, can you take me home now? I don’t want to be here anymore.” He laughed and said “I figured you’d say that. I was going to do that after this anyway since I’m here I might as well.”

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Dear Diary… A couple months have gone by again since I’ve last written in you. My birthday is tomorrow and I’ll be sixteen, I feel like there’s such a huge difference between sixteen and fifteen. Anything below fifteen is too young, but anything after fifteen is old enough (for most things anyway) but fifteen is just.. fifteen. There’s nothing special about fifteen, you’re neutral. You’re not too young but you’re not quite old enough. I feel like once I turn sixteen the rest of them will start treating me more like an adult and start trusting me more. I still haven’t gone to one of these “shipments” but all of them have been 'training’ me. It’s like criminal boot camp. Only I don’t really see it that way. My family has had cops on the inside. They’ve had made deals with cops that eventually led to their complete immunity to things in the past. If someone wearing a badge can be dirty, then we’re all dirty.We’re all just doing what we have to do to survive a cold world, right?. Ultimately this just proves that a badge doesn't make someone great, sometimes the ones with the badges are even worse than the ones without them.

Twenty or so minutes after I walk downstairs and lay on our porch hammock in the backyard and I start to daydream. I cant really look at the clouds because it’s an overcast day, it’s just one big grey cloud blanketed across the entire sky, but I don’t mind, overcast and rainy days are my favorite, and since we live in Los Angeles it hardly ever rains so I actually cherish the days that it does. Just when I thought I was alone, Leon comes out of nowhere and lays on the hammock next to me, but opposite direction, his head was where my feet were at. I said “Um, hi.” He said “What’s on the agenda for today?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Math? History? Science?” I said “To be honest, I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want to lay here.” He said “I’m right there with you.” If this were to happen months ago before he started tutoring me I would be freaking the fuck out, but I completely feel comfortable around him now, well not entirely, but much more than before and I really like the feeling of that. I said “Oh hey Leon…. Will you tell on me if I smoke this blunt?” He cocked his head up so fast to look at me and gave me this expression like did she really just say that?  He just started laughing though and said “I won’t say a damn thing…… if you share,” and then he winked at me. We smoked the whole blunt, we’re just high as a kite chilling on this hammock, we don’t really speak we just lay there next to each other. I didn’t mind though because when you can be around someone and be completely comfortable even though it’s silent that’s a beautiful thing. I don’t know what it is, but when you’re with someone and you can be silent without the awkward tension you can feel more vibrations between your energy and theirs. It’s like you can connect more with that person through silence rather than with verbal discussion.  I know it probably sounds like the marijuana talking through me right now but I always felt this way. I’m very spiritual and I used to meditate routinely, but lately I just sort of fell off the tracks. I guess that’s why I don’t see eye to eye with my family most of the time, like I love them, and I appreaciate them, and I love spending time with them. It’s just I feel that my thought process is more advanced than theirs. That probably sounds narcissistic, but it’s kind of true. I can usually see the bigger picture, or the greater good, and they can’t. Sometimes even when the greater good is transparent they're too loyal. Meaning that even when they know they're wrong they won't admit it. However, I’m not saying that they aren’t smart I just feel like I figure out solutions faster than they do most of the time. Most of their so called solutions end with violence and blood. Leon is a different story however. I feel a connection between him and I, despite how cliche that sounds it’s true. I just feel like he and I definitely see eye-to-eye. When I’m near him I feel very euphoric. After the high started to wear off Leon sits up and says, “Want to go get food?” I said “That’s a dumb question.” once we get in his car he said “Where do you wanna eat?” I said “I’m in the mood for some Japanese food..” He hesitated and said “The closest Jap restaurant is in Koreatown….. Ironically enough.” I said “Yeah…? And..?” He said “Oh shit, that’s right you don’t know anything about that.” He started to pull out from the driveway and I grabbed his wrist preventing him from turning the keys and said “Don’t know anything about what?” He said “Forget it, Lacey.” I said “You can’t just say shit like that and expect me to forget about it.” He sighed and said “Johny Tran.” I said “And…….. Who is that?” He said “Dominic’s enemy. He and Dom are the two power balls of the streets around here, especially in the street racing community. It’s basically his turf. Dominic’s crew stays away from his turf, and his crew stays away from our turf- Echo Park.” I said “I don’t understand I go to that Japanese place all the time.” He said “Their beef is with Dom and his crew, not Vince’s little sister.” I hesitated to respond because I don’t like being simply known as Vince’s little sister, I have a name of my own and I don’t want to live in his shadow. Unfortunately, however, Vince has already plastered a bad name for Scaletta. People who’ve heard of that name knows that anyone with it doensn’t come with remarkable behavior or outstanding citizenship. At least that’s what one of my teachers told me. She was Vince’s English teacher too. Anyways, I sucked it up and said “Wait so they know who I am?” I mean at least they know of me, right? Better than being completely non-existent like I thought I was. He said “Yep. Why do you think we lied to you? It wasn’t to keep you out of the loop, and it wasn’t because we didn’t trust you. We we’re protecting you.” I said “I don’t see how lying to me protected me at all, I’ve freely walked around Koreatown numerous times as if there was not a care in the fucking world.” He said “I was always watching you.” I said “Woah, wait, what the fuck?” He said “Not like that. Your brother, since I’m his right hand man as you say, assigned me to watch over you. He only asked me to because things have recently heated up between Dom and Tran a lot more than usual.” I just cotinued to glare at him and he said “Lacey I wasn’t stalking you, I only ever followed you to Koreatown when I heard you say something about going to Koreatown.” I said “So you weren’t always watching me?” He said “No.” He said it in a tone as if he really wanted to say you caught me. I said “So technically, I wasn’t always safe.” He said in the same tone “I guess not….. But you’re alive.” I said “Well, I still want Japanese food.” Leon gave me this look as if he really wanted to say “Are you serious?” But he just said “Fine, but we’re taking the train they’ll see my car from a mile away.” Once we get to the Japanese restaurant things seemed to go pretty smoothly other than the fact that Leon seemed to always be looking over his shoulder, literally and metaphorically. We shared an order of spring rolls and we each had our own sushi roll. I don’t even like fish though so I got the terryaki chicken roll and I was surprised to see that Leon walked over to the table with the same fucking thing, except his was the terryaki steak roll. Each roll comes with ten little sushi rolls so I gave Leon five of my terryaki chicken's for five of his terryaki steaks. It worked out perfectly. We got to talking and I dunk down in my side of the booth and asked him about his childhood. I probably shouldn’t have because I felt the mood go from really great to not-so-great in a matter of seconds. He said “Lacey…. I don’t really want to talk about my childhood, but if you really want to know more about the Leon that existed before I moved into your house two years ago I will say this; I’m a dirfter… Well, was a drifter and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that in every place I stopped at I probably stayed a maximum of three months in each place (I was actually aware of this, Mia told me) and each place I had a different name (but I did not know this information.) I never gave anyone my real name. (Or this.) In every place I established a network of.. “friends,” I liked to refer to them strictly as connections, but they kept trying to tell me that I was running from something, and they’re probably right, but to be honest I believe I was running to find something, and I don’t know exactly what I was looking for, all I know is that I think I found it.“ After he said that he just glared over at me and it made my body tingle, and I don’t know why. He continued to talk and said "When I happened to run into Dom and your brother two years ago I introduced myself with my actual name. That’s something I haven’t done since high school prior to them. So it felt weird, it didn’t even feel like that’s who I really was anymore. I had completely forgotten about Leon, the real me. I was just a kid when they found me though, I was hustling and I ended up hustling at Race Wars, making bets before I even knew that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd. Dom asked me if I was hungry and if I had a place to stay that night, I said yeah I was hungry but no I didn’t have a home…. Never really did, and then just like that they took me in…… like a lost fucking puppy…” I tried to sound reassuring and said “At least lost puppies that get taken in get a much better and happier life.” He was still looking down but I could see him smile. He looked up and said “That’s actually a really good way to look at it, Lacey.” I just smiled at him to conclude the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about anything negative anymore. It makes me happy to know that Dom and my brother took him in as family though. It’s not like they just select and recruit random people. Vince and Dom genuinely cared about Leon’s well-being. They welcomed him into our home with a home cooked meal. I remember that because I was there. The first night he arrived he was in dirty clothes that smelt like a community trash can, and his shoes had holes in them. He didn’t look homeless though, he was clean shaved, and his hair was washed and slicked back like it always is, he just looked… Poor. I remember peeping in on him when he thought he was alone that night, and he was crying. I was just a little girl compared to what I am now and I was curious about the stranger in my home. He doesn’t know I saw him cry though, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think I recall that night. I don’t plan on telling him that I do in fact remember every thing about that night. Same as when Jesse arrived. How could I forget the nights two very important people in my life came along? Jesse’s story is a bit different from Leon’s though. Dom and my brother found him running from a gang of people who jumped him. He ran into the garage yelling for help. Poor Jesse, he’s so small and fragile. You would never assume he was apart of this kind of life, but he wasn’t running from a gang of people who wanted him dead for no reason. To outsiders, Dom seems like the kind of person who is nothing but a thug, and that he has no ounce of compassion or feelings in general. However, he’s actually a very caring person. He’s literally mama bear to all of us. Or whatever you want to call it. We’re his family, and he is strongly over-protective. Dom is just highly misunderstood. He doesn’t like to open up, but the only reason I know the things that I do is because I grew up with him and his family. When Dom and Mia’s dad died, Dom claims it wasn’t an accident. He watched his dad perish in a burning car. He swears on everything of value to him that the car was tampered with because his dad never made a mistake. Years later when Dom was a young adult he found the guy he knew was responsible for his dad’s death and beat him with a pipe wrench so badly that he went blind in one eye, and facial reconstruction couldn’t even fix the guy’s face. That was Dom’s first serious offense, and he spent two years in prison for it. He says that he’ll die before he ever goes back. Dom says his passion for street racing is because of his dad. He says within those ten seconds or less, within that quarter mile…. He’s free.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I’m just a kid who claims she’s indepedent and that I don’t need anyone to talk to, or help me, but the reality of that is in all honesty I’m dependent on everyone else in my household. I would literally be clueless without them. I don’t want to be that way, I try very hard to overcome that. I believe it mostly has to do with everything that I’ve been through, and I’m talking about since the beginning. My biological parents were very unfit parents. My mother was a junkie, Vince says she didn’t start using until a year or so after I was born. That makes me feel very unwanted, but Vince assures me that they were pieces of shit to him as well. My dad was an alcoholic and an abuser. He’d beat the living shit out of my mom and my brother for fun. My mom also provoked the fights though. Most of the time it was about money, according to Vince. Our dad’s paychecks didn’t support either of their habits or feed us. Vince was always the one taking care of me. He said that at ten years old he was changing my diapers because our parents either ignored my cries or were too intoxicated and fucked up to even hear them. Vince locked him and I in his room to protect us, mostly from our father. Vince told me one night he snuck out with me in his arms as just a little baby and he took me all the way to the Toretto house. Vince won’t admit it was because he was scared, he says it’s because he didn’t know what to do. Dom’s father always helped as much as he could but unfortunately to legal standards, we had to go home eventually. As I got little bit older my brother would always take the blame for things that I did wrong. I remember accidently knocking a cup over and splashed orange juice all over the floor and the glass broke. My mother watched it happen but she was too high to even be aware. Our dad comes in from the other room yelling and screaming. I was crying, and my dad got up in my face because he assumed I did it since I was crying so hard, but Vince jumped in and made sure I didn’t get hurt. That night Vince went to the hospital with a broken nose for something he didn’t even do. After that Dom’s father fought for legal rights of us. It was a long battle, but we eventually we’re taken in legally by Dom’s family. In the meantime however, the abuse didn’t stop. One night my mother asked me to do something for her. I was seven years old and I was excited because my mom never asked me to do anything. I was pretty sure at times she didn’t even know who I was. She asked me to wake her up early in the morning at 5:30 precisely. I made sure I stayed up the whole night, because I didn’t want to fuck up since this was the first thing my mom ever asked from me. I didn’t want to let her down basically. I didn’t tell Vince about it until after because I was sure he would talk me out of it. At 5:30 on the dot I snuck out of Vince’s room where he and I both slept. I stood on the chair he had in his room to reach the top locks on the door, and I went into my parent’s room. I woke my mom up and she was already dressed. She didn’t say a single word to me, not even a thank you. She went into her closet and grabbed a couple of bags and walked out the front door. I looked out the window and saw her get into a car, and I never saw her again after that. After it happened I cried and told Vince what happened. He was seventeen at the time, so he didn’t care too much about our mom leaving. The only thing that made him mad was that she tricked me into thinking she cared about me enough to get me to do something for her. I sobbed really hard and Vince held me and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I said “but daddy’s gonna be mad at me” and Vince said that he wasn’t going to let my dad hurt me. Later that morning when my dad found out my mom was gone Vince again took the blame for me. He got his ass kicked really badly. Every beating I deserved Vince took the blame for it. Vince got all the shit growing up and I got none of it. To this very day our childhood is not something we talk about. Ever since Dom’s father took us in our lives did a complete turn around. We weren’t afraid or uncomfortable in the house we were living in anymore. We finally had a place to call home and had it actually feel like a home. I still don’t know what ever happened to my mother, or father at this point. I have no idea if they’re even still alive, but I don’t even care.

CHAPTER NINE:

I woke up this morning with everyone in my room yelling “SURPRISE!” I was literally not expecting this, and certainly not expecting everyone to be standing in my room. At least I wasn’t sleeping naked like I normally do because that would’ve been embarrassing if I kicked the blanket off of me in the middle of the night. I see Leon holding a cake and he winked at me as if he was telepathically telling me “Since you got me a cake I got you one.” We do a lot of telepathic speaking come to think of it. They all handed me presents one by one, and when Vince gave me his he sat down next to me on the bed and said “Happy 16th birthday, kiddo. You know… My sixteenth birthday…. Sucked. All I ever wanted was a better life for you.” I just hugged him really tight. Dom said “We’re all going to pitch in to make you one hell of a breakfast so don’t fall back asleep.” Gradually everyone started to leave the room and Leon sat down next to me and said “I remember you said you don’t like cake so I got you a cookie cake, I figured that would be better.” I said “Yeah, I love cookies so..,” and smiled at him, then he pulled out a present from his pocket. He said “I know it isn’t big but sometimes smaller presents are usually the ones that cost more.” I said “The price tag means nothing to me Leon, it’s the thought that counts. I know that’s cliche to say, but it’s true.” I opened the box and it was a Pandora charm bracelet. It had a crescent moon, a sun, and all kinds of cute little things. I said “Holy shit, thank you Leon. You didn’t have to do this.” He said “Of course I didn’t have to…. I wanted to,” then he smiled and walked off. I literally sat there in shock because this whole morning started off really bizarre, I went to bed last night not expecting to even get a single present. They didn’t shower me with gifts and a big fancy breakfast last year. It was just a casual dinner at Applebee’s. I walked downstairs and they even let me have champagne and orange juice. I think I’m already starting to like the feeling of being sixteen. Later that night I overhear them talking about going on another run. Of course, I was interested, so I listened. I heard Leon say “This isn’t going to be a casual run though. We’re just going to the warehouse.” I didn’t know what was said before that because I had just began to eavesdrop. Dom said “I know, I want you and Vince to cover the back. Jesse you keep a look out in the front. I’ll handle the business.” Mia was out with Letty, I don’t know what they were doing but they took Letty’s car, which means Mia’s is out front.  I have no idea where this bright idea came from, but I decided to follow. I remembered everything Vince told me when he took me out driving. I began to follow them, and it was such a long drive. Took about fourty-five minutes to get to the warehouse, I followed behind but tried to stay as far away as possible, especially when we got to those long California roads that nobody seems to be on at the same time you are. I see them pull onto a lengthy dirt road that led to the location. I parked Mia’s car on the side of the road and began to walk. I remember Dom saying he wanted Jesse out front, so I dipped off to the side a little bit. There were plenty of trees to prevent me from being seen. I made it pass Jesse, and now I’m on the side of the warehouse. There’s a huge painter’s bucket that’s just big enough for me to stand on and inch my eyes up to the window to peak in. I see Dom talking to two asian guys. I heard him call him Johny. This must be the Johny Tran that Leon told me about. I was trying to see what they were doing, but I was too short to see everything. I tried to stand more on my tippy-toes but I slipped off the bucket and fell. It was pretty noisy, so I jumped up stood back on the bucket and checked the window to see if they heard it, but thank god they didn’t. I jump off the bucket and start heading back to the car, because that was too close of a call and I began to walk backwards to make sure no one was coming from the back, but I bumped into someone. They covered my mouth to prevent anyone from hearing my screams. I thought this was it, I thought this was the moment that I die. I kicked and tried to fight as best as I could. I felt my heart flutter and thump in my chest like a bass drum. Then all of the sudden I get turned around and pushed up against the wall and it’s Leon holding his finger by his mouth indicating for me to be quiet. He gradually took his hand away from my mouth when he felt my breathing ease up. I tried to run away like I did before on the night of the race, but Leon grabbed my arm and pushed me back up against the wall. It was pretty hard, and my head bounced off. I pushed him back and I snapped and said “Don’t fucking touch me like that ever again.” He grabbed my head and whispered “Shhhh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He grabbed my face in a gentle way and hugged me, and said “I didn’t mean to do it that hard, but goddamnit Lacey what the fuck are you doing here?” I said “I have no excuse, just please don’t tell Vince.” He said “Jesus Christ, Lacey. You can’t be doing this every time and expect me to save you and cover for you. What if that wasn’t me you ran into? What if it wasn’t one of us and it was one them? Do you think you would still be alive right now!? Probably not!” I just looked down and started to cry. I want more than anything to be one of them but I guess I'm just not ready to handle it. He grabbed my chin and wiped my tears and continued and said “How did you even get here?” I said “I took Mia’s car.” Leon just heavily sighed and said “Go home, Lacey.” I said “Are you going to tell?” He turned around and said “No….. But if this happens again I will, Lacey. I’ll have to for your own good. Now, just go home, and don’t be seen! if you get caught we didn't just have this conversation.” Then he ran off towards the back of the warehouse. I got home before Letty and Mia did thankfully. I definitely would’ve gotten in trouble if Mia got home and found her car gone, but with Leon covering for me I can make up a lie and say I just went to a friend’s house or something, and I would get into way less trouble, but thankfully no lies needed to be said, at least on my part. I ran upstairs to my room, and didn’t come back out. I stayed up all night, I could hear their cars pull into the driveway. I turn over to look at the clock, and it’s 6:42 AM. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. Fifteen minutes go by and I hear a slight knock at my door. It was loud enough to get my attention, I don’t know if I would’ve heard it though if I had actually been asleep though. I was confused as hell and I pondered the thought of actually opening it but I guess I took too long because when I finally made the decision and cracked the door open nobody was there.

CHAPTER TEN:

I walk downstairs the next morning, I was supposed to be in school, but I obviously wasn’t going considering the fact that by the time I even fell asleep school had already started. I slowly walk down the stairs to see if I hear anyone talking and the house was dead silent. It was 10:00AM and I’m guessing the rest of them are still sleeping. I walk into the kitchen and nearly almost run into Vince and I jumped so hard, I thought my heart stopped. He says “Why are you so jumpy, and why didn’t you go to school?” I said “Why aren’t you asleep?” He just gave me a puzzled look and asked “Why would I be asleep?” He asked, and I said “I heard you guys pull in at like 6:30.” He said “Oh….. Well…. I slept for a few hours. Now answer my question.” I said “I didn’t feel like going.” He said “Okay,” and started to walk off. I said “That’s it? "Okay.” You’re not going to yell at me? Ask me why I didn’t feel like going? Nothing?“ He said "Why would I yell at you? I just asked you why you weren’t at school. You answered my question and that’s all I wanted.” He starts to walk off and turns back around and said “Oh, Lacey…. Dom and I are going to begin construction down here in the house. We’re going to build the princess Leon his own room so he can quit bitching about sharing one with me and bitching about his roommates at his other house. Anyways, it’s going to be pretty noisy so you might want to get some sleep now while you can.” I said “How did you know I haven’t really slept?” He said “…I didn’t… Until now.” Then he starts to walk off again and I stopped him and said “Hey Vince… Did you knock on my door this morning?” Vince looks extremely puzzled and said “No. Why would I do that?” I played it off and said “I must’ve heard your door close or something I don’t know.” He said “Alright.” Then walks away and goes back to his room with a bowl of cereal. I walk around the rest of the house and then walk into the living room. I see Leon sleeping on the couch. I slowly walk over to him but then quickly walk away thinking to myself what the hell am I doing? How do I even know it was him who knocked on my door? Wait who else could it have been? A few hours later around noon I decide to sit outside on the hammock. It’s such a beautiful, breezy day. I feel at peace and then suddenly the backdoor opens and it’s Leon. I jump up and start to walk off and he grabbed my arm, but then quickly took his hand back as if he's the one traumatized by grabbing me like that last night and he said “You know you don’t have to run from me.” I said “I know…..” He also said “I’m also really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to be so rough.” I said “…..I know…” He felt my head and felt a knot on it and said “Jesus Christ,” and then sighed really heavily. I said “It’s okay… Really… I’m not upset about it, I shouldn’t have been there in the first place, and I know you didn’t mean to do it.” He said “No. It's not alright. It's never alright under any circumstances for a guy to treat a girl like that. Don't justify it Lacey. I fucked up and I feel like shit. I would kill anyone who puts on a knot on your head and here I am giving you one.” I paused a moment and thought about what he just said it made me feel so loved and cared about that I nearly started crying, but in a joyous way. I look up at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He said “Anyways……. I could go for a haircut. If you're feeling up to it, that is.” Then looked at me with a smirk. I said “Okay…. But you owe me.” He said “Okay, what do I owe you? I said  ”….. I don’t know yet…. I mean…  I know, but I don’t want to talk about it yet.“ He looked a little confused but chuckled and said "Alright Lacey..” I ran back downstairs with the trimmers and scissors. He was already sitting in a porch chair outside. I plugged the trimmers into the outside outlet and said “They aren’t going to reach bring the chair back a little bit.” He did, and I proceeded. He said “Just do it exactly like the last time, and don’t take too much off, I like this style, just clean it up a little bit.” The feeling of touching his neck and running my fingers through his hair made me feel really…. Tingly. I wouldn’t know how else to describe it. He started talking and he said “So Lacey….. Remember when you came over to my house on my birthday?” I said yeah in such a tone as if I didn’t know where he was headed with this because I truly didn’t. He said “You left your backpack there. I forgot to tell you, I know it’s been two months since then, but the thought just kept slipping my mind, and you haven’t said anything about it, but then after what I found inside I figured I wouldn’t say anythig until you brought it up…. But you never did.” I started thinking to myself by saying shit that’s where I left it. I asked “You went through my bag…?” He said “No it was unzipped all I did was pick it up and you know what fell out.” I didn’t say anything and he continued and asked “So how long have you been dealing?” I said “Since August when school started.” He asked “Where are you getting all that weed from? I hope you’re not pushing for someone.” I said “I’m not. It’s my weed. I buy it, and charge more than what I bought it for.” He said “That’s a little fucked up.” I said “I know, but I don’t care. The preppy kids at my school don’t know how much a G costs anyway. They’ll pay whatever price I make up.” He said “Well then… Good. Finesse that shit.” I said “You’re not going to yell at me or something?” He said “No of course not. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Then he reached in his pockets and pulled out a fat stack of cash wrapped in my pink hair tie that I’ve also been looking for and said “You probably want this back.” I just sighed and blankly stared into his eyes and he said “Hey… As long as you’re not getting yourself into trouble I don’t care.” Then he said “Oh and what was the favor you wanted?” I started to laugh and said “Never mind.” He said “Nah what is it?” I said “I was just going to ask you to pretend to be my guardian or whatever for a piercing I want.” He said “Okay, that’s literally a piece of cake.” I said “But you’re probably not going to do it when I tell you the piercing that I want.” Then he said “Lacey…. If you say you want a clit ring I’m going to walk away and pretend like I never had this conversation.” I started laughing and said “No!! I want….” I was hesitant about it but continued and said “My nipples pierced…” He just blankly stared at me and said “Why?” I said “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pictures of nipple piercings and they look… Pretty…Cool.” He pondered the decision and said “Alright, I know a guy that did my tatts…. He’ll hook you up for half the price.” He started to walk away and I said “Leon….” He turned around and I said “Thank you..” He chuckled and “Yeah no problem.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

The next day Leon takes me to Downtown, LA. We live so close but never actually go here often. He took me to a tatt shop, and I was honestly nervous. I already have a tattoo that’s on my chest below my boobs, but nobody knows that except for me, and this one boy I dated when I was fifteen. He kind of took my virginity. Well he did, but as soon as he pooped my cherry he took it out and said gross, even though I literally told him I was a virgin and he was expecting it. Haven’t had any sexual contact since other than with myself. Anyways, I feel nervous maybe because of the fact that a needle is going to go through my nipple…. Twice. I told Leon “I’m nervous. Will you come back there with me?” He said “Lacey… Ummm…. Okay.” We got back there and Leon greeted the guy and called him Dave. He said “This is Lacey.” I just smiled real nervously and Dave asked “How old are you Lacey?” I look over to Leon and he gave me this reassuring nod as if it was all right to tell the truth. I said “I’m sixteen.” Leon said “Yeah so can you like cover her titts up, because she wants me to hold her hand.” I actually never asked him to hold my hand but I would appreciate it. Dave said “Yeah man sure, I’ll get what I use to cover genitals when I’m doing tattoos in that area.” He comes back with this paper towel type thing that felt like the thing dentists put around you to keep your clothes from getting ruined with your saliva and toothpaste. Leon turned around and I took my shirt off. Dave said “Wow, that’s a really nice tattoo.” I hesitated and said “Thanks…..” Dave put the cover over me and said “Leon, I’ll need you to hold it up so I can do the piercing, but this should do the job.” Leon held up the cover so Dave can pierce my titts with his left hand, and held my hand with his right, and stood behind my head. All I remember after that was clinching my teeth together and squeezing the shit out of Leon’s hand and I even bit on Leon's hand a little bit to prevent myself from screeching, but he didn't say anything or move his hand away so I'm guessing he didn't care about my impulsive decision. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes though. As we’re leaving I’m moving pretty slow because the shirt feels like it’s rubbing against my nipples in every way it can. I look down and my nipples are still rock hard and poking through my halter top. I thought to myself that maybe today was a bad day not to wear a bra, but then again wearing a bra might make this feeling worse. We get in the car and Leon says “Sooooooo….. You have a tattoo?” I said “Ummmm…. Yeah….. About that..” He cut me off and said “I don’t want to know… Actually, all I want to know is how old were you and where did you get it?” I said “I was fifteen. Chandler’s brother is a tattoo artist…….. and it’s on my chest… under my boobs.” Leon said “Alrighty then…. I actually meant what shop or whatever… But alright.” He kind of looked like he was blushing a bit and it made me smile and blush also. We get to the house and Leon said “You might want to wear a jacket by the way.” I cross my arms over my titts and started laughing a little bit. At this point I knew I could trust Leon with anything. We walk in and I head upstairs to go change right away and I put a baggy sweater on and some leggings. Then I walk back down stairs in time for dinner. Everyone was pretty much quiet for the most part so dinner wasn’t really exciting, but I’m content because of how close Leon and I have become. I made eye contact with him and he started smiling, but it was kind of like he’s still  blushing. At least that’s the way I remember it, or would like to remember it at least.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Dear Diary, It seems that I only write in you when months go by. It almost seems that’s how long it takes for me to think of something to write or have anything interesting to even write about. However, Leon has given me a much more interesting life lately so I should honestly be writing more. Anyways, Leon and I have become really great… friends. I can trust him with literally anything and it makes me so happy. I think I’m falling for him in ways that are indescriable. It kind of scares me how badly I am infatuated with him. I think I used to hide it pretty well, but now I’m not so sure, but at the same time I kind of don’t care if he did find out, but at the same time I do. It’s complicated. What if he finds out and completely rejects it and we lose the bond we have now? But what if he does find out and feels the same way and we can make our bond even stronger? I’ve also gotten more invovled in these “runs” my family consistently goes on, well I haven’t exactly been invited I just sneak. The first time was a street race that I wasn’t supposed to be at either. The second time was a bit more serious. They met at a sedcluded location and it looked like some kind of deal was going on. Leon caught me both times though, but he had his gun armed the second time and it was a bit more serious that I was there. Leon never told anyone though.That’s why I know I can trust him.

Today is Valentine’s Day and all day today at school I see these dumb ass kids with their gigantic teddy bears and boxes of chocolates. It was like parading your relationship around was the coolest fucking thing to do. When are these kids going to grow up and realize it’s not always about material items all the time? I don’t know but either way, it disgusts me. School quickly turned into a night club with kids practically dry humping each other in the courtyard all because of an overrated holiday. I personally think that if your relationship was actually solid any day should feel like Valentine’s Day. There shouldn’t be a designated day to show you love your significat other, that should literally be like every day. My point is that why on a particular day do you feel the need to spoil your loved one with materialistic items when love shouldn't be founded or grown from such things. You also shouldn’t be the person to ever expect expensive things to just be handed to you. Valentine's day really is just a day they mark up the prices on stupid, meaningless cards and candy. I’ve been often told that I’m an “old soul” I guess that’s why it’s so hard for me to relate and get along with people my age. I see the things and trends that people my age do, and I find it revolting. I relate to people who are much older than me so it’s hard to make friends, because not too many twenty-plus year olds want to hang out with a sixteen year old. I mean I can’t legally drink or get into night clubs so what would we even do? Watch movies? I guess that’s why I’ve come to find myself happier when I’m alone, but no matter how much someone tries to convince themselves and other people that they’re a “lone wolf” and independent, they need someone from time and time again. Most lone wolves act as if they never cared about anyone ever, but the truth is, they’ve lost that one person they cared about, so they figure being alone is better than to ever have to go through that feeling again. However, from my prespective I see it as not wanting to lose those people I care deeply about, so I keep my distance to prevent that from happening. It’s basically a paradox, but I can tend to be a little contradicting at times. As I’m casually walking and drifting in and out of reality and being consumed by my thoughts and fantasies like usual this preppy jocky dude grabs my arm really hard and turns me around I said “What the fuck is your problem man?” He said “I heard about you..” As I was trying to decipher what this could even possibly mean I said “Congratu-fucking-lations. Let me go.” This could really translate to anything. He probably heard a nasty rumor. He said “I know about your family.” This response startled me a bit because I don’t really even know about my own fucking family, so what could he or anyone else possibly fucking know? He said “I don’t want any problems, I just know you sell weed. I mentioned your family because everyone knows they’re up to illegal shit just nobody knows what… You obviously do so..” I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about nor do I see what that has to do with anything.” He said “Look, I don’t know where else to buy weed from and I promised this college girl that I would have some, I just need someone who wouldn’t say anything. This could mess up my football scholarships and my relationship.” I pondered the decision and then realized this man’s life, his scholarships, and relationship is seriously not my problem whether he got caught or not, but then I also thought that he's the type to get caught and only get a slap on the wrist if he ratted out who gave him the weed, and I'm nobody to him so he would have no problem doing so without hesitation. While I was thinking about whether or not I actually wanted to sell to this kid he said "Look. You won't get into trouble, I have a lot to lose such as my football scholarship. I won't get caught I'll be careful and even if I do get caught I have rich parents who are friends with a DA and some pretty high-up-there people. It'll be swept under the rug and nobody would know where the weed even came from." I sighed and said “Fine…. How much you need?” He said “A ground.” I said “Excuse me? Do you mean gram?” Where the fuck did he hear ground from? He said “Whatever it’s called.” I said “Okay…. fourty bucks.” He said “Alright no problem. Do you have change? I only have a fifty.” I said "I'm a drug dealer, not a cash register." He handed me the cash, which was actually ten more dollars than I had even originally asked for, and I handed him a fat nic sack, but he clearly doesn’t know the difference. I was laughing to myself thinking How can someone be this stupid? A gram isn’t even fourty dollars, it’s not even twenty dollars, and I didn’t even give him a gram. I gave him a nic sack that's only actually worth five bucks. I should feel really bad and petty but these dumb arrogant rich kids shouldn't be smoking weed if they have no fucking clue about the terminology, prices, and size. The fact that it was too easy to scam them was hilarious and not my problem, but rather my profit. Anyone like me could just tell by simply eyeballing the nic sack that it certainly wasn't a gram nor anywhere close to fourty dollars. I know what you're thinking; I should probably be more careful and profit more reasonable prices. However, I choose my clientele selectively and appropiately. If someone is buying from me and I know they would call me out on my shit even if I said it was worth five more dollars than what it actually was I wouldn't bullshit. You'd think that would get me caught and I'd lose customers, but like I said, I go to a school that's filled with a bunch of preppy rich kids who don't even know what they're doing when it comes to buying weed, and the small handful of kids like me at this school don't run their mouth about things like this because like me, they know running your mouth can get you into trouble. A few moments later as I’m walking down the road after the last bell of the day rang I see a familiar car. Unfortunately it wasn’t Leon it was Vince. He said “Get in.” We went an opposite direction than home so I said “Where are we going?” He said “No where special. I just have to go pick up something. Thought I would pick you up on the way.” The conversation stopped for awhile. Vince pulls up in front of a house, and I had to double-look to realize that it was the house of my fucking weed dealer. I started panicking but on the outside I probably still looked sleepy and normal even though I could feel my heart pound rapidly against my chest. My dealer walks outside and starts walking up to the car and at this point I think I’m literally having a panic attack I start looking for a way to escape this situation, but that’s obviously impossible so I just brace myself for whatever the fuck is about to happen. He shakes Vince’s hand and hands Vince some weed while Vince hands him the money in one handshake. That was the transaction handshake. The dealer looks over at me and then back at Vince and he asked “How do you know Lacey?” Vince looked at me and back at the dealer and said “How the fuck do you know Lacey?” I just sink down in my seat and start thinking to myself shit here we go. The dealer answers and said “I deal to her all the time.” Vince looks at me but replies to him and said “Oh really?” I start looking out the window because eye contact with Vince is the last thing I want to encounter right now. Vince’s looks could literally kill. When he started to drive off he didn’t say anything. I made sure I looked out the window the whole ride home. Once we pulled in the driveway I immediately went for the door but Vince grabbed my hand and said “You’re not going anywhere until we talk about this.” I started thinking to myself this is why I like Leon better. He doesn’t force me to talk about anything. I said “I buy weed, who cares? Can I go now?” He said “No. Why do you buy weed?” I said “Oh gee, Vince I wonder what I could possibly be doing with weed.. Hmmmmm… Baking?? Yeah baking delicious brownies for the drama class.” He clearly didn’t appreciate the sarcasm because his face seemed to get bright red with anger. I wasn't even being sarcastic to be a bitch, sarcasm was just my instinctual defense mechanism. Vince never gets angry with me so I said “Vince… I smoke weed okay….. You do it… Everyone else in the house does it… It’s not that big of a deal.” He said “I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.” I said “Well damn Vince what about all the secrets you’re keeping from me?” The tears in my eyes started forming and his eyes settled and he sighed deeply. I didn't even mean to ask this, it just slipped off my tongue. They're not joking when they say bottling things up inside is dangerous. Vince looked at me with bewilderment, slight anger, and frustration and said “The secrets I keep from you are for your own good.” I said “Yeah and the secrets I keep from you are for my own good too.” Vince said “Lacey… I never yell at you. I never get mad at you…. So why do you feel the need to keep things from me?” I said “Vince…. You don’t even understand what goes on in my head, and I don’t even know how to even begin to explain what goes on in my head, but even if I did I couldn’t tell you, because you’re never even around long enough for me to begin.” Vince said “What are you talking about?” I said “I know we’re fucking criminals, Vince! I'm not stupid. Even kids at school know about you guys. Probably a lot more than I even fucking do. We street race, we do mysterious illicit deals in random warehouses in the middle of nowhere, god knows what else the fuck we do yet you’re jumping on my case because of some fucking weed and some secrets? Fuck you Vince.” My heart sank to the floor when I realized I just ratted myself out about sneaking around that night of the warehouse incident. Thank God I didn't throw Leon under the bus, he would never trust me again. He didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t leave the car. Part of me really wanted to leave from the car but the other part of me just felt too emotionally and physically unstable to even move. I was also a little scared to move at this point. I just wanted to lay down and cry where I was sitting. Vince said “How the hell do you know about the warehouse?” I said “Goddamnit Vince… I followed you, okay? I don’t care if you get mad about it, but I am sorry. I’m not a little girl anymore. I understand now, I’m not dumb. You can’t just keep feeding me this bullshit and expect to tell you everything when I don’t even know who you are anymore Vince… Any of you at that. What were YOU doing at sixteen, Vince? Tell me that. I bet it’s worse than anything I’ve ever fucking done, yet you want to sit here and lecture me about keeping secrets and smoking weed?” Vince said “Alright. I think it’s time.” I just gave him this puzzled ass look and he said “Go inside and wait for me in the dining room.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Vince seemed a little pissed off so I did exactly what he said and I sat and waited in the dining room. My stomach was all in knots and my heart was pounding. I had no idea what to prepare for. Vince walks in the dining room and literally everyone was with him, even Leon. Dom is the first one to speak and he said “So Lacey….. Vince told me you know about what we do. Well, at least the tip of the iceberg.” Everyone seemed so calm, yet I basically just called them out on their "top secret" bullshit. I just sat in my chair with my legs and arms crossed and I tried to avoid eye contact by looking down at my boring all black shoes. I felt like this was going to be an attack even though the approach was light. Dom grabbed my chin to advert my attention to his eyes and said “No one is mad at you. We all knew this day would come. We just want you to be prepared for all the shit it comes with instead of sneaking around. You could get yourself…. Well... Killed for doing that shit.” I got your typical family-like lecture that lasted what seemed like an hour, the only difference is that normal families don’t lecture their teenagers for sneakig around and overseeing their illicit activites. A couple weeks go by and I still stayed on the outside with the exception of some of the minor details Leon would share with me, but even those I had to beg for especially now after seeing how I spilled the beans on the warehouse incident and could've potentionally gotten him in trouble. Honestly, if I were them I would kind of be embarassed at the fact that a sixteen girl is calling them out on their bullshit, and they thought they were so sneaky. Or have they not really been trying to sneak, and that I've only just now started to become more observant and ballsy? Whatever the case may be a sixteen year old high school girl still called them out on their bullshit. The next morning at school a girl that I have been getting rather close with asks me if I wanted to ditch school with her and hangout. Of course I agreed to it, because why wouldn’t I? I hate school anyway, and I needed some friends, I suppose. I met this girl a few months ago in class, she transferred from a school in Sacramento. She’s kind of tall, kind of thick, but the good kind, with long brown curly hair, that matched her brown eyes. Her name is Jackie, short for Jaqueline, and she was a lot like me. She was down to earth, open-minded, and chill. The only difference was that she could make friends easily. She had the whole school in the palm of her hand within weeks. It’s not that I was shy, it’s that I don’t trust people. I still don’t fully trust her. I can hang out with people for months, years even, and still not fully trust them. I guess that’s an expected trait with the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to. It’s just how I am. I’m always mentally prepared to be stabbed in the back. It makes it much easier to deal with when it actually happens, and you don’t get as hurt. I rather have one good friend than a lot and not know who is secretly my enemy. I expected her to have invited a lot of her other friends to come as well, but it was just me and her. I asked her where we were going and she said “Over to a friend of mine’s house. He has weed.” I said “I have weed….” She looked at me and said “I know, but….. he has…. other stuff too.” I said “Ohhh…. I didn’t know you were into anything hardcore.” She said “Xanax isn’t that hardcore.” She brushed it off as if that was such a normal thing to say. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start an argument, but pretty much anything outside of alcohol and marijuana was beyond my element. I’ve done other drugs a few times, but it never became a habit. I also thought about the severity of selling anything higher than weed. You deal with turf when it comes to that shit, and the Mexicans run this area. Which makes sense that Jackie has connects in this area, because she is Mexican. We finally get to the house, and it’s a torn down piece of shit in the middle of a pretty sketchy neighborhood. Jackie and I are the whitest people on the entire block, even though she is half Mexican. She has the accent though, so if she were to speak she would instantly blend in leaving me the sore thumb. She proceeded up to a house that had bars on the windows and some of them were boarded up. Even the screen door had bars on it. Some sketchy guy came to the door and opened it and talked through the screen door and said “Who’s she?” Jackie said “She’s my friend, it’s cool.” He didn’t say anything else after that and he just stared at me for awhile, I stared back with a pretty fierce look, mostly because I was irritated but also because I was out of my comfort zone, but on the inside I was a little nervous because I hate willingly putting myself into sketchy situations, but I'm already in too deep to escape now. I sit down on the couch next to Jackie, I look around and observe my surroundings, and find any possible exits, just in case. Just part of my nature. The coffee table was filled with cigarette ashes, food, and cocaine, various pills, weed, other random drugs, and a pistol. Next to the door, right by where I was sitting was a wooden baseball bat which is only a good weapon if you have upper body strength, which I seriously lack. Some dude who didn’t say a word was breaking up a nug of weed and watching a shitty box TV with in-and-out picture quality. Which I found pretty odd. All that drug money, but you can’t afford a better television with greater reception? Jackie got her Xanax and I figured we could leave now, so I stood up, and the guy who opened the door said “Where you going?” I said “I thought we were leaving now,” and then I looked back at Jackie, and she said “It’s okay Lacey, we can chill for a little while.” I thought about getting my phone out and calling Leon, but as soon as I reached in my backpack to grab my phone the guy said “What you doing reaching in your bag for?” I hesitated to answer, and grabbed my water bottle and said “I’m just getting my water.” I started panicking because if I get my phone out and call Leon they’ll probably think I’m calling the cops and they’ll kill me. I mean, if I were them I would assume the same thing. The guy who was watching TV started feeling up Jackie’s legs and up her skirt. She didn’t stop him and he said “Wanna bump?” She said “Sure,” and smiled flirtatiously. Then they each did a line of cocaine that was sitting on the coffee table for god knows how long. Even though anything outside the world of marijuana and alcohol was considered extreme to me, I could handle the Xanax, but now she's doing cocaine? I need to get out of this situation, but how? I started thinking to myself great I befriended a junkie whore who got me into a sketchy situation. After she did a line she said “Lacey, come to the bathroom with me.” We proceeded to walk to the bathroom and the two guys stared at us, there was more guys in a room towards the back who shut the door as we walked by. We walk into the bathroom and Jackie shuts the door and I say “Jackie we need to get the fuck out of here.” She said “No, I’m having fun.” I said “Why the fuck did you want me to come in here with you then?” She said “To take selfies with me.” I said “Are you fucking kidding me? Selfies? Sorry Jackie but I’m fucking leaving, and I don’t care if you come with me or not.” She said “You need to calm down Lacey, those guys out there don’t trust you.” I said “They don’t trust me? Bitch, I don’t trust them! They're the sketchy douche bags with shitty TV reception, and an extension cord running from the neighbor's house just so they could have power.” Jackie said “Okay, okay, okay. Just give me five more minutes to pinch some more xannies from Miguel alright. If I let him feel up on me a little bit he’ll give me more than the cost.” I rolled my eyes, and said “Fine, but after this Jackie I’m fucking done.” She said “Sorry, I’ll never take you here again.” I said “No Jackie, I’m fucking done with you, I can't stand people who act like you in sketchy situations. You're so unalert and careless, and that's dangerous.” I proceeded to walk out of the bathroom without her. She sat down next to me on the couch and gave me a dirty look, and then started flirting with Miguel. The other one not named Miguel asked me if I was thirsty, and I said “No thanks, I have my water.” He said “I don’t see you drinking it.” So I did to get him to stop talking to me and to prevent him from offering me anything and preventing me from having to say no to his offer which could end badly. Fifteen minutes later I started feeling light-headed. I immediately knew something was wrong and that they drugged me. I stood up immediately and ran for the door, but one of the guys grabs me and puts his hand over my mouth, and after that I blacked out. I faintly remember some details from fading in and out of conciousness. I remember a group of guys raping Jackie who was unconcious. I felt my pussy to see if I too had been raped. I didn’t see any blood, and I didn’t feel wet. I blacked back out, then woke up again in an alley behind a 7/11 in Koreatown, and it was pitch black outside. I didn’t have my phone, and I didn’t have my backpack. I started freaking out and crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to call the police from a payphone, or call Leon. I had blood all over my clothes and my shirt was all ripped up. I remember seeing what they did to Jackie and thought to myself that I was just gangbanged. I also came to the realization that if I wanted to call Leon from a payphone I would need money and I literally had nothing except for the torn clothes on my back. I ran to the first place I knew I would feel safe– Leon’s house. Any normal person would call the police, but I don't have a normal life, I have this one. I climb up the hill Leon’s house sits on, the side of the house slopes down to the street, and because of the effects of the drugs that I'm still mildly exerperiencing, the little hill felt steeper, and taller than it actually was. I bang on his window loud hoping he was actually there, I see the blinds go up fast and Leon pointed a gun and lowered it fast when he realized it was me said “Jesus Christ, Lacey,” loud enough for me to hear it through the window, then he opens the window and pushes the screen out, then gets a real good look at me and his jaw dropped, I started sobbing, panting and barely getting a word out, and he said “Holy shit.” Then he pulled me up through the window as fast as he could, I didn't have the strength to pull myself up, and we fell to the ground. I didn’t let go of him we just kind of sat there holding each other. “Lacey, baby, I need you to tell me what happened.” He said and I said “I’m still trying to remember what even happened.” He said “Lacey, baby, I need you to breathe, calm down, and think!” I tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. Leon grabbed a water bottle from the night stand next to his bed and held it nearly like a baby bottle for me to drink, because I apparentally looked too incapable to do it myself which means I must look more terrible than I feel and that wasn't a great thing to think about seeing how I can't remember what even happened to me. After I caught my breath I started to explain every detail I faintly remembered through my panting. I could see Leon’s face grow pale as I explain all of this, but then after I finished all I could recollect I see his face grow red with anger. I’ve seen Leon upset before, but I’ve never seen him this vexed. He literally punched a hole in his wall, and then pulled himself together again and kneeled back down on the ground next to me and grabbed my face gently and said “Lacey I need you to to remember where this happened. These mother fuckers aren’t going to get away with this.” I started panting and freaking out again and said “Leon I can’t. I don’t remember.” I start sobbing and panting and repeating “I can’t remember” over and over. Leon eventually held me again and didn’t say anything this time, he just held me tightly and didn’t let go. Twenty minutes went by and I calmed down a lot more than what I was, but I was still obviously shaken up, and Leon said “I just remembered something.” Then stood up and made a phone call. After the call had ended he said “A buddy of mine has a wife who’s a doctor. She does a lot of… Uh….. Off duty type of work for my buddy and his friends. They’re thankfully in the area.. Kind of, and I asked my friend to ask his wife to come check you out.” When the doctor showed up I was still in the same position on the floor and the doctor kneeled down next to me and touched my shoulder and said “Hi Lacey, I’m Tara. I need you to do a few things for me, okay?” I just looked at her through my tears and nodded my head and she continued with “Good, I need you to take your skirt and underwear off, and lay on the bed.” Leon interrupted and said “Should I leave?” I frantically looked at him and said “No, please don’t!” Tara said “Leon, can you get me a clean towel and lay it down on your bed so Lacey can lay on it?” Leon came back with the towel and said “I think I should leave Lacey, I don’t think it’d be appropiate if I.. Uh… Saw….” Tara interrupted him and said “You won’t see anything Leon, I have something to cover everything from your prespective, I’m sure she’d like you to hold her hand.” I immediately shook my head yes, because Leon was literally my safety net.  Leon said “Alright.” Then sat on the bed behind my head reched for my left hand and held it up to his mouth kissed it then rested it on his chin. Tara began her examination and said “I have wonderful news Lacey. You weren’t raped. Whoever drugged you definitely planned on doing so, but you fought back, and clearly won.” I asked “What does that mean? Did I kill someone!?” I know she's a professional, but she responded a little too calm to a question like that and explained “You’re not covered in enough blood for it to have been a homicide but you don’t have any wounds deep enough to have that much blood on your shirt so it’s definitely not yours. Also I’ve noticed that you have skin under your fingernails so you definitely clawed at them. Judging by the blood on your shirt and the fingernails I say you roughed them up pretty good.” I asked “But I woke up in a random alley. They must’ve put me there.” Tara said “Or you just don’t remember what happened because of the drugs. You probably got away and ran, until the drugs blacked you out again, and then passed out in the alley. You have no vaginal tears or even signs of intercourse at all. When a girl is sexually assaulted she's usually drier than the Sahara desert which causes severe vaginal tears from the force implemented by the attacker.” Leon said “So she’s…. Okay?” Tara nodded with such reassurance and said “Yes! She’s perfectly fine other than the trauma, bruises, and scratches.” Leon looked at me, and smurked a thankful smile. Tara went to her bag and pulled out some unmarked scripts and said “Here’s some medication.” She marked each bottle with a different letter and said “This one is for relaxation because of the trauma. It's like Xanax but a lot more mild." I though to myself What are the fucking odds? Xanax is what got me into this mess in the first place. She continued and said "...And this one is for headchaes, it’s called firocet it’s for severe migraines. I recommended not taking anything until tomorrow afternoon. You wouldn’t want to mix this with whatever they drugged you with. From professional experience I’d say it was probably roofies, or some generic form, due to your loss of memory. You should be fine after a good night’s sleep.” Something about Tara was so ironic. She was soft spoken, reassuring, calm, and her vibe was peaceful. Yet, at the same time she’s basically a mob doctor. I’m not dumb. I figured it out right away when Leon said “off duty” work and I thought to myself how did someone like this who clearly wasn’t raised in this life become apart of this life? How did she end up marrying someone apart of this life? How did it all work out for her? It all seemed too weird to me, but at the same time, I was envious. She has the best of both worlds. I’m sure she has a lot of friends and connections on both sides of the law. After Tara took my urine for some various tests she proceeded to pack up. Leon said “Thanks so much Tara. Tell Jax I said hey.” She said “Of course, it’s not a problem.” Tara proceeds to leave and said “I’ll have Jax give me your number Leon so I can call you about the results of her tests.” Then Leon walks her out to her car and comes back in the room and I sit up on Leon’s bed making sure I’m still covered and I said “Can I shower?” He said “no shit,” and kind of chuckled. He said “The towel you’re sitting on is clean, if you want to use that one.” Then he walked over to his bathroom and started to turn the shower on. I slowly walked in behind him with the towel wrapped around my waist and he said “If you want it hotter just turn it to the left.” Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked out closing the door behind him. I slowly unbottoned my school shirt as I remembered what happened to Jackie, and if she was safe. In a way I felt a little guilty knowing that I got away and that she probably didn’t. Then again, even though nobody deserves what she got by any means, it was her fault for being to absent-minded by willingly putting herself in harm's way and dragging me into it. I sat down inside the shower and let the water run down on me. I was just sitting there for about twenty or so minutes before I lifted my head up. I looked up at Leon’s shower things and I picked up his body wash, put some in my hands and started rubbing it all over my body. Even though Tara said I wasn’t harmed I still felt disgusting. I didn’t even feel comfortable touching myself down there. After I got out of the shower I gradually walked out of the bathroom in my towel feeling awkward. This has been something I’ve fantasied about for a long time, but now I feel gross and I don’t even want Leon to look at me. Leon pulls out one of his jersey tank tops that he always wears with the number eight on it and said “I figured you needed something to put on after the shower. I also have some clean boxers if you’re okay with that.” I said “Yes, that’s fine.”  Leon then turns around as if he expected me to change here instead of walking back into the bathroom, so I did change in the room. I don’t know why I guess it was instinct. Despite everything I just went through I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. I only felt uncomfortable with myself at this point. I started to lay down on the bed afterwards and Leon started to make a bed for himself on the floor. I said “What are you doing?” He paused with a stunned expression on his face and said “I’m giving you the bed.” I said “Leon….. I would feel like shit if you slept on the floor in your own room.” He said “It’s really not that big of a deal.” I said “The bed is huge. Just sleep next to me.” He said “Lacey, I’m not sleeping with you.” “I said next to me not with me.” Leon just sighed heavily and then climbed up in bed next to me as if he knew he wanted to sleep there all along. Who would sleep on the hardwood floor of their own room when there’s only one tiny girl in their bed? There’s plenty of room. Moments later I was dead alseep. A few hours must have went by and I woke up to Leon shaking me out of a bad dream and the sun was peaking through the windows. I must have been tossing franctically because of the dream. I have had severe night terrors like that before. Vince has told me about them. Leon said “Are you okay?” I sat there in silence for a minute and said “I don’t think it was a dream, I think I was remembering stuff that actually happened. I saw the house. I remember what the house looked like. It was light blue, very torn down, it had bars on all the windows, and there was some word on the side in black spray paint. Not like grafitti but like a random ass word.” He said “If you saw it in person would you be able to point it out?” I shook my head and added “We would have to start where we did though so I can remember my steps exactly.” Leon said “We?” I said “Me and this girl Jackie. She’s the one who brought me there. We obviously ditched school. We walked there from the back of the school by the football field. It was like only a couple blocks away.” Leon jumped out of bed immediately and grabbed his keys and said “Lets go.” I didn’t hesitate and I don’t know why. In the car Leon mentioned something I already knew and said "I'm pretty sure that area is Mexican ran. Maybe Hector will know." I said "Don't get anybody else involved." He said "You're right." We started to drive past my school as the sun was just peaking up over the horizon. He stopped at a stop sign as we approached the end of the football field and said “Where do I go from here?” I said “Make a left, at the end that block make a right and go straight.” Putting myself in the same exact setting and retracing my steps has actually helped me remember a ton. As Leon approached the last direction, my heart sank in my stomach. I saw the house and an eerie feeling like I just knew that was it. A flash back came to mind. I saw myself running away from the house after squeezing through the side of the bars on one of the back windows. It was remembered from a first-person presepective, but I saw the memory as if it were a movie scene. Leon stopped in front of the house next door to the blue house and looked over at me and said “Is that the one?” I just slowly shook my head yes all while staring at the house with fear. He said “Are you ready to do this?” I look over at him with slight panic and said “Do what?” He said “Investigate.” We started to walk around towards the back of the hosue and I was holding on to his arm because I felt very weak in the knees when Leon noticed something I did at the same time. Leon reached for it and said “You must’ve squeezed through these bars. This is a torn piece of your shirt.” I shook my head and said “Yeah, I remember that.” The window was still open, and Leon squeezed his hand through the side of the bars and moved the curtain out of the way to look through. No one was in the room, but I saw my backpack and said “Shit.” Leon said “Don’t worry. We’ll get it back.” I looked over at him slightly confused at his reassurance as if he could simply walk in there with no problems and retrieve it. Leon and I both heard something from inside the house and Leon quickly reached his hand out of the window and said “Go back to the car and start it, and wait there.” I did exactly that and waited anxiously. I saw Leon circle back around to the front, open the screen door and kick the other door in. My heart started racing I was so scared. I heard three gun shots and I started to have a panic attack. Seconds later I see Leon run out with my backpack and jump into the already started car and drive off immediately. I didn’t even ask questions because I already knew. This was a side of Leon I’ve never seen before and it was a side of him I didn’t even think he could have. Vince, certainly, but not Leon. As we approached his house again he stopped in the driveway and said “Everything’s okay now.” I asked him “Was there a girl in there?” He said “No. I would’ve saved her.” I said “What about the cops?” Leon looked at me with an expression on his face as if he really wanted to say Are you serious? However, he said “With all the drugs around that house, the cops will just count the bodies and their blessings and close the case as a gang related drug crime. No ties back to you or me.” I wasn’t even freaking out and that’s what scared me. The fact that this feels like something I wanted concerns me and the fact that I feel so relieved concerns me even more. I feel like if Leon didn’t do it I honestly think that I eventually would’ve and that's truly the most concerning feeling about all of this. Leon walked me back into the house and picked up his phone and made a call. I obviously couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Leon said “Hey, it’s me…… I need a favor…… 616 14th ave….. I need you to make it look more gangster and Latin King related….” A few moments later I said “Who was that?” Leon told me everything and at this point after what just occurred I feel like he wouldn’t even hesitate to answer or try to beat around the bush and I was right. He said “A guy named Saul. He’s from New Mexico, that’s where I met him. He often comes to this area, or has guys who work for him in this area. Long story short…. He’s a lawyer with a lot dirty connections. He’s basically a lawyer to keep his guys and connections out of the cage.” I asked him “Why did you call him? I thought you said the killings weren’t going to lead back to us.” He said “I’m just making sure, Lacey.” The whole time Leon spoke in a monotone, depressed like voice. I went over and sat next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me. I asked “How many people have you killed before Leon?” He unwrapped his arm around me and sighed. He admitted “Just a few…….” I could see the tears build up in his eyes as he sighed as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest. I didn’t even think differently of him though, and I think that scared me a bit. I was still just as infatuated with him as I was when I didn’t know anything about him at all. I kissed him on the cheek as tears came down my face and I whispered “I’m sorry I got you into this.” He looked me in the eyes and “Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry that this even happened to you in the first place.” He kissed me on the forhead and our faces were so close together and I could feel the vibe that both of us wnated to kiss but neither of us were ballsy enough to make that move. Then all of the sudden a car screeched as it rolled up in the driveway. We both jumped up when we realized it was Vince. He ran towards the front door and Leon made me get under the bed and he shoved my clothes under there too. I had no time to ask why I had to hide. It wasn’t like we actually hooked up or anything, so there was honestly really nothing to hide from Vince. However, like I mentioned before, Vince is a react first, ask questions later, kind of guy. If he saw me in Leon's bedroom wearing his clothes he would've automatically assumed and started beating up Leon before any explanation could even be expressed. Vince came charging into Leon’s room and he seemed out of breath. He asked “Have you heard from Lacey?” Leon asked why and Vince responded very frustrated and said “Just answer the fucking question.” Leon said “No… Now tell me why.” Vince sighed with disbelief and said "I got a call from Hector last night. He said he saw Lacey walking around disoriented by a 7/11 in Koreatown. That's like only two blocks from here. I went there and couldn't see her anywhere. She was covered in bruises and blood and fucked out of her mind. I went by the school today also and she isn’t there.“ Leon said "What do we do?” Vince said “I’m going to go look for her. Maybe Tran picked her up as revenge. I’m going to kill that chink bastard.” Leon said “You need to think rationally.” Vince said “The only rational thing to do if Tran hurt, or even touched my sister, would be to kill him.” Leon said “But what if he didn’t? You can’t just run up in the Asian side of town with an accusation like that without starting a war that we made ammends to keep from happening between us and them.” Vince said “If he hurt or touched Lacey he’s going to get a lot more than a fucking war. I'm going to kill him and his whole goddamn family if he even touched the only thing in the world that I care about.” Then Vince stormed out and slammed the front door. I peaked my head out from under the bed and said “Why did you lie to him?” Leon shook his head and said “That's a dumb question. Because Vince doesn’t think rationally… If he knew what happened he would’ve done what I just did but a lot sloppier and he wouldn’t have been smart about it. Plus he doesn’t have Saul as a connection. Plus no time would have even existed to explain any of it to him anyway. He would've saw me and you and immediately assumed that we fucked.” So what if he storms through and kills whoever Tran is instead? Leon said “I’m going to call him in 20 minutes and tell him you called me from a payphone.” Twenty minutes go by and Leon makes that phone call and puts it on speaker. Vince said “A payphone from where?” Leon said “7/11 in Koreatown. I just picked her up. Come back to the house, she’s freaking out and she wants you.” I said “I’m in your clothes, do you really expect me to put those back on?” I said pointing to the dirty, blood covered clothes under the bed. He said “No, I’ll tell him I gave a change of clothes, upon your request.” Vince comes charging in just as he did before but instead of frustration he seemed relieved. Then he was frustrated again as he held me and said “What the fuck happened!? Why didn’t you call me? Why did you call Leon? Why didn’t you call me last night? And why are you in Leon’s clothes? And where were you? I checked the 7/11.” I said “I asked Leon for a change of clothes I didn’t want to be in those anymore.” Pointing to the dirty clothes I pulled back out from under the bed to make this more convincing and I continued with "And I was passed out in the back alley." Vince said “Okay.. Now tell me what the fuck happened.” I told him the lie Leon and I went over as we were waiting for him to get back to the house. I said “I ditched school yesterday with some girl I didn’t really know her. I just have a class with her and she asked if I wanted to come along so I did. We hung out all day at Joe’s Creek……. Later that night when we we’re going to walk home we got jumped…. I didn’t know where I was, and I don’t know where she went, I don’t know where she lives. I don't really know anything about her at all to be honest.” Vince looked like he was digesting the story as he was biting his thumbnail and he just stood me up and hugged me again. He said “Let’s go home.” I looked at Leon because I didn’t want to leave him, and he said “I’ll  be over later for dinner.” Vince turned around and hugged him too and said “Thanks for everything you do for my sister, the tutoring and well, everything.” He said “Of course man.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

A couple of days go by and I’ve been a hermit inside my bedroom. The only person who periodically came by to check on me was Leon. Today he knocked on my door and had a gigantic teddy bear in his hands and said “I figured you’d like this.” I laughed and hugged the big teddy bear. Leon sat down at the foot of my bed and said “You know you have to come out of this room eventually.” I said “I know…..” Leon then asked “How are you holding up?” I said “Fine…. How are you holding up?” He smirked and said “I’m fine.” I asked “Do you think Vince believes my story?” Leon said “Well he hasn’t shot up the neighborhood around your school, has he?” I laughed and said “So I guess that’s a yes?” Leon laughed and said “Honestly Lacey, I don’t know. I think he’s just glad you’re okay.” I just smiled and Leon got up, smiled back and walked away. A few moments later I walked down stairs for the first time in a few days and Vince grabs me and hugs me and said “Hey kiddo.” I smiled at him and he said “Your face healed up nicely,” and kind of chuckled and addded a joke to it and said "Well, not that it was any good before." I playfully punched him in the stomach and laughed. Then he asked “Were you scared?” I looked down and shamefully shook my head yes. He brushed my hair behind my ears and said “Well you’re safe now, kiddo.” Later that night the family was suiting up for another “run” and I started to walk back up to my room, and Vince said “Hey Lacey….” I turn around expecting him to finish his sentence. He looks at Dom and Dom shakes his head signaling 'yes’ and Vince turns back around and said “Want to come along?” My heart sank, because of course I wanted to but was I ready for this? Leon looked up at me and smiled. I said “Yes.” Vince said “Well… Suit up.” I said “I don't know what that means.." Vince said “I was joking. You can come but I’m not giving you a gun…. Yet.” As we were walking out the door Leon put his arm around me and said “Congrats. Welcome to the big leagues.” As we were driving down a similar road much like the one from the night of the warehouse incident we pull off to a different secluded warehouse. As we step inside they all start pulling white tarps off of these street racing cars. They were all black and incognito. Definitely the exact opposite of the flashy, colorful street racing cars with tricked out decal that they’re normally in. However, there was a green luminescent light from under the vehicles. I wasn't shocked. There's not way there wasn't at least one thing tricked out about the cars other than the cars themselves. Vince said “Lacey, you’re riding with Leon.” Leon put his arm around me and walked me over to his car. There were four cars in total. Letty and Jesse drove their own and Vince rode with Dom. Leon had his own too, and inside the car was another police scanner just like the one in his normal car. He looked over at me and said “Are you ready?” I said “For what exactly?” He said “Don’t worry, all we have to do is sit, well and drive too. It’ll be okay. We don’t have much to do unless an incident occurs.” Then he reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. The awkward tension began to rise as he didn’t exactly let go of my hand. Believe me, I enjoyed it but at the same time I was nervous. I’m the one who casually broke the connection of our hands and then he put his hand on the stick, put it into gear, and began to drive behind following the rest. He turns the police scanner on and after about twenty minutes of observing police whereabouts he picked up the walkie-talkie and said “No cops within five miles, we’re good.” Then he switched gears and began to drive faster. He glanced over at me and said “You’re being awfully quiet.” I said “I’m just soaking it all in.” He chuckled and said “Well, is it everything you thought it would be?” I said “No, not really. Thought it would be more… exciting.” Leon said “Well, it’s really only exciting for Vince, Dom, and Letty. Jesse and I are really just extras in case anything goes wrong.” I asked “How come Mia never comes with you guys?” He said “Mia doesn’t approve, plus she looks after you. These heists are fairly new, but when you were younger they were still doing shit like this. Someone needed to stay with you. She’ll turn her head and look the other way, and lie for us if police ever got involved, but she doesn’t want to be apart of it anymore than that. Dom doesn’t blame her either.” Meanwhile I can see the truck drive left to right on the road with screeching tires and loud honks. I asked “So why did I get invited to come along?” Leon sighed and said “Do you want the truth?” I said “Well, yeah.” He said “Because everyone knows you’re Vince’s little sister. Everyone knows how the Scaletta mentality works, and you’ve already proven our theory.” I said “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said “That if we don’t properly train you and take you along, that you’re going to be hard-headed and follow us anyway. Rather have you trained and prepared for any circumstance, than absent-mindedly trying to do this shit on your own.” He looked over at me and “You’re very brave though, I’ll give you that. I admire that, actually.” I just kind of smirked. He said “Now, stop being careless, and start being smart, like I know you are. I’m the one who convinced Vince to let you come along tonight. I said you needed it, and Dom actually agreed.” During that conversation is when the whole heist was going down. I think Leon tried to distract me in a way, but the walkie-talkie was going off and I can hear Vince say “I’m going in.” The tires and motion of the truck were even more sparatic than before. I heard one gun shot, and a lot of tire screeching. Then about thirty minutes later we all pull over and get out of the cars, I see Vince hop out of the semi-truck. They all move to the back of the truck and load the cars up with boxes and boxes of what seems to be DVD players, but the boxes obviously do not contain DVD players. I start to walk away while they’re distracted by the boxes to look inside the truck. I see there is no more windshield and the driver on the floor of the truck but there was no blood. Vince came up behind me and said “It was tranq bullet. Now come on.” I got back into the car with Leon and he said “That’s it.” I said “That’s it? What do we do with the boxes?” He said “Take what’s in them out at the garage, and burn the boxes.” I kept repeating “That’s it? Really? Like that’s it?” I said it in a manner of disappointment, I expected it to be more of a top-notch heist, but it didn’t even feel criminal it was so quick and they made it seem really easy. Leon said “Trust me Lacey, sometimes the operation gets really dirty, tonight was just an easy night.” I said “Why tranq bullets?” Leon said “We’re not murderers!” Then there was a pause because Leon remembered who he was talking to and said “Unless, we have to be. Plus, it keeps the FBI away.” I said “For how long though? If we keep doing it over and over, they’re bound to get involved eventually right? I mean they’re organized and pre-meditated heists, whether there’s dead bodies or not.” Leon looked at me as if he knew I was right but he didn’t want to admit it. The same way Vince looked. He said “I know… Nobody listens to me though. I’ve tried telling them this but Dom is the shot caller and Vince will back him up no matter what, and the rest of us just follow to get a cut, but also to protect them if anything goes down.” I said “So, you’re saying the FBI is bound to get involved eventually? Isn’t that dangerous?” He said “Lacey this lifestyle is dangerous regardless, but yes. However, Dom is smart, he knows his way around things,  he would never put himself in a position to where he spends years in prison again. He spent two years for that assault charge and always says he’ll die before he goes back. We'll just move on to a new kind of heist just like before and leave law enforcement on dead trails.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

A couple of days go by, and things began to fall back in routine. I’ve been going to school, doing what I need to do and going home, I haven’t seen Jackie at all, but is it bad that I don’t care? I mean, of course apart of me does because we basically went through the same thing, even though I apparently had a chance to fight back and she didn’t. She could be dead, but the other half of me doesn’t even care because it’s her fault. She got herself into that mess and nearly dragged me into it as well. I received a text from Leon telling me he’s out in the front of the school. I found it very odd because he never picks me up from the front of school. As I was getting into his car I noticed people staring at me, or maybe it was just Leon’s car. After all, it is an expensive, bright yellow Nissan Skyline GT-R imported from Europe with decal all over it. Still made me uncomfortable though to have the feeling of all eyes on me. I got in the car and asked him why he’s picking me up from the front. He said “I was already parked out here, might as well. Your school called me today to set up a conference.” I panicked said “A conference for what, and why did they call you?” He said “I’m the only one they got ahold of. I only answered because I thought it was you, I reocgnized the school number. Anyways, they wanted a conference because there’s apparently rumors about you going around at school… And because you've been skipping a lot.” I said “What?? What are the rumors?” He said “Petty teenage bullshit. How you probably hired someone to scare all your teachers into giving you good grades………And hired those same people to kill Jackie.” I screamed “What?” Leon said “Don’t  worry Lacey, I worked it all out. I told them you didn’t even know a Jackie, and that the whole grade thing just sounds stupid and petty.” I said “No, I mean Jackie is actually dead?” Leon said “I’m having that Saul I told you about ask one of his accomplices to look into it. So, I don’t know yet, and it’s not your fault so don’t even begin to feel that way. She got you into that mess. If she’s alive she’s the one who should be feeling bad for you.” After a short pause he added "And Tara called.... You don't have any diseases." I said "There's always a bright side."   After a few more momets of silence, Leon asked “Do you want to come over to my place? Maybe smoke a little bit, and chill? You seem stressed out.” I said “Yeah, sure.” After we smoked Leon confessed some of his past to me. He said “I started drifting when I was fourteen. I’ve been to a lot of places, and met a lot of people. I’ve never felt as comfortable around anyone as I do with you…..and your family.” I said “Our family.” He chuckled and said “Of course.” I asked “What made you stay with us?” He said “Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I was just tired of running. Whether it be that I was running from something or running to find something, I was just tired of it. However, I am sure glad that I did stay.” I asked “Where all have you been?” He said “A lot of places, I’ve been to Chicago, I did this whole restaurant bus boy job, but at the end of the day, I worked for this guy in the porn industry.” I shot him this look and he said “No, I’ve never participated in the porn industry… I just did some errands for him. Running guns and money and being pretty much a taxi driver for his porn whores. I also stayed in New Orleans for awhile. I went by the name Sean Riley. I was boosting cars and working a chop shop, much like I do now. I’ve also been to New Mexico. Met this kid named Jesse and I sold meth for him. He’s how I met Saul, and gained him as a connection. Those aren’t the only places I’ve been to, but definitely the only ones I’m willing talk about.” I said “How did you meet the doctor’s husband?” He said “Oh, Jax? I did a couple of jobs for him and his crew. They’re from a town called Charming, it’s up north closer to the Nevada border. Very ironic name though considering what goes on in that town.” We went silent for a little bit and he laid on the bed next to me and said “So, tell me more about you..” I laughed but he said “I’m serious. It’s so obvious that you hold a lot of shit in. I think after all we’ve been through together and all I’ve told you so far, you should be able to open up.” I didn't say anything and he said "No pressure, though." I said “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything like that. I just don’t know how to share what’s on my mind, I don’t know where to begin.” He said “Start with what bothers you the most. Or even what excites you the most.” I said “My insecurities. My constant feeling of never being good enough.” He said “Well, I can tell you right now, that you are more than good enough. You are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re intelligent, and good looking. There’s no reason for you to be insecure.” I smiled at him and began to tear up a little. Then he said "Now what excites you the most?" I said "Adventure." He said "What do you consider adventurous?" I said "Rollercoasters, traveling, or pretty much anything that comes with a good story." He just smiled really big at me and said "You're the kind of girl to create good times and a story no matter what the scenario is." I thought to myself that he knows me a lot better than I know me. It felt great to be honest. I continued with more things that I like because I'm so secure with my vulnerabilities and what I am on the inside. I never really talk about these things nor do I really ever have anyone as an outlet to express what I like anyway. I said "I like to read, write, draw, paint, and make shit." He said "So you love art?" I said "More than anything. You can express whatever you want without having to talk about it. Or in art such as writing, you can make up aything, and live in a different world for awhile. Or be a completely different person." He said "I knew you were artsy. You just have that vibe. That old-soul kind of vibe. It's easy to see that you see the world in a different perspective. It's even easier to see that the world is your biggest enemy. Your way of thinking, is other-worldly. It expands far beyond this tiny little snow globe of a planet. You're a down to Mars kind of girl." I never realized he noticed me enough to even have that description of me. I started tearing up but in a joyous way. It felt great knowing that someone can see that side of me. I rested my head down on his chest and held me. As I closed my eyes and began drifting to sleep I began to settle my focus on nothing but his heart beat. Hearing it flutter nervously made me so happy and content with the moment. After nearly a couple hours, we are jolted awake by a phone call. Leon said “It’s Vince.” I didn’t know if that was like a warning to be quiet or just a heads up of who was calling, but I stayed quiet anyway. Besides if Vince was worried about me, he’d call me, not Leon, especially considering he’s unaware just how much time we actually do spend together. So I knew there was nothing to panic about. Leon was quiet pretty much throughout the entire course of the phone call, and I can hear Vince talking, he sounded frustrated but not angry. Leon ends the conversation with a heavy sigh and says “I’ll be right there.” I said “What was all that about?” He said “Some asshole at the garage is trying to pick a fight with Vince over one of the cars him and I worked on. He’s complaining about the brakes which I worked on by myself. I know damn well there isn’t a thing wrong with them, nobody has ever came back with complaints. He’s just trying to make some money by getting a bullshit refund, and Vince knows that’s what he’s trying to do. I mean we worked on the car a month ago, if there was truly something wrong with the brakes he would've came back a long time ago. But now I have to go save the day so Vince doesn’t end up in jail….. Again.” I said “Can I come?” He said “Duh, I wouldn’t leave you at this house alone anyway. I don’t trust or even like my roommates, and I especially don’t like the way they look at you. I can’t wait to move back in with you guys after that room is finished.” I was honestly totally unaware his roommates ever even stared at me. I used to be so observant with the world around me, and ever since Leon and I have become closer, the only thing my world consists of is him. I don’t know what love is but I can tell you that seeing the sparkle in his eyes, and the brightness of his smile makes my heart melt. The way he talks to me and protects me and shows an interest in me and what I’m thinking, and how everything about him from the way he thinks, the way he perceives the world, the way he looks at me, how it makes me feel like the world could end today and I’d be absolutely content knowing that I would be by his side when it did. If that’s not love then I don’t think I’ll ever know love. Once we arrive to the garage, Leon immediately walks over to the asshole customer. Vince notices that I step out of Leon’s car and he hesitantly walks over to me as if he was conflicted about whether he should confront me or stay by Leon’s side just in case anything gets ugly between him and the customer. However, he walks over to me anyway and he said “What were you doing with Leon?” I said “Tutoring.” He said “Oh really? Your teacher called yesterday and said you’re doing excellent and making A’s in the class now.” I said in a condenscending tone “Yeah, thanks to Leon.” Vince gave me this look as if he knew there was way more to this story than what was being said, but the look also expressed that he didn’t want to believe that there was and that he needed proof to make such accusations. So he said “You hungry?” I said “Yeah, why?” He said “What do you mean why? I’m obviously going to feed you, that’s why.” I said “Where we going? That's what I was getting at.” He said “I’m grilling when we get home.” Vince starts to walk away then turns back around and says “Can you stick around here for a bit? I’ll drive you home.” I was hesitant to answer but obviously couldn’t say no nor did I really even want to because I do love spending time with my brother, but I also loved spending time with Leon. Obviously two very different vibes, and I was really feeling Leon’s vibes more. I also figured that Vince just wants me to stick around so he can poke at this Leon thing and try to get more answers from me. After Leon deals with the customer the customer walks into the front of the shop where me and Vince are now, and starts yelling and says “I’m never coming here again! Go fuck yourself.” Then proceeds to storm off outside and Vince grabs the baseball bat under the counter and Leon tries to stop Vince but once Vince makes up his mind there’s no changing it, no matter who you are. Vince walks up to the guys car and smashes the window then opens the door and drags the guy out, slams him on the ground, and nearly hit him too, but Leon tackled Vince. With Leon still holding him back, Vince yells “Good, stay the fuck away from here you fat fuck! And you’re not getting a refund.” The fat guy said “I’m calling the fucking cops.” Vince said “Fantastic, tell them about the coke inside your fucking car as well.” The fat guy puts his phone down and gets back in his car and speeds off. I guess his cocaine was more important that rip-off scam to get money. Leon shoves Vince and said “What the fuck is your problem?” Vince said “I have no problems now. Fat guy's gone.” We all walk back into the shop and Leon says “Come on Lacey.” Vince immediately says “She’s closing the shop with me.” Leon looks at me and back at him and said “Oh, alright….” Then he looks at me smiles a bit and walks off. I’m not too worried about it, because I’ll see him tonight at dinner when we get home. Now the shop is empty, and it’s just me and Vince. He asks “Are you mad at me?” I give him this very puzzled look and said “No….. Why the hell would I be mad at you?” He said “I don’t know, you just don’t talk to me anymore.” I said “You’re the one who doesn’t talk to me anymore. You used to tell me stories all the time about stuff that never really made sense until now, but that storytime would be the highlight of my day. I couldn’t wait for you to come home and tell me those stories.” He laughed and said “Yeah….. Things are just…. Different now.” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Back in the day when we would race it wasn’t even to make a living or a profit. It was just for fun. We’d even race each other. When Dom and I were around fifteen years old, we put together this group, and even Letty was apart of it, and we’d just race for the fuck of it. Some people go to the clubs on Friday nights, but we’d go racing. It was just our thing. But things got more complicated than that after we ran into Johny Tran for the very first time when I was like twenty or so. I didn’t even know there was such thing as a "race territory,” and of course Dom being who he is, that’s where it all began. Racing to make a profit, to keep territory, and remain the powerball of the streets instead of racing just because it was fun. Things got even more out of hand shortly after that when Dom’s dad died. Dom created Race Wars, and the first monthly illegal street race was born three weeks later. Then a week after that first street race Dom went to prison for two years, which left me in charge of our newly built empire. Things got really ugly really fast. I had to do a lot of shit that still haunts me, but I had to do it.“ I just sit quietly waiting for more. Vince says "Do you know why I’m telling you all of this?” I said “No, not really, but I don’t mind.” He laughed a little bit and said “Yeah, I know you don’t, but the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want you to have the opprotunities I didn’t even try to seek when I was your age. I see everything in you that I never had. You have potentional, for both worlds honestly, my world, and the real world. I never really realized how much of a fuck up I was until even the teachers gave up on me. Every day I’d skip class. When I did show up to class it was against my own will because I got caught skipping, but I wouldn’t do any work. I just wanted to sleep. When the teacher wouldn’t let me sleep I’d ask for a bathroom pass and walk around the halls with the pass in my hand for like thirty minutes and walk back into class when there was like fifteen minutes left.” He laughed and continued with “Your principal really hated me. I guess that’s why he has it out for you too. It got to the point where the teachers wouldn’t even hand me an assignment, because they knew it would just be a waste of paper and when I would ask to go to the bathroom they’d tell me to just grab my stuff and go, because they knew exactly what I was going to do.” He paused for a moment and continued with “You’re super smart, I want you to be successful, the legal way. I’m not even asking you to be a doctor or a lawyer, I just want you to have a better life. However, seeing how this life is all you know considering you were raised in it, I wouldn’t expect you to just turn your back on it. You have a loyalty mentality like me. I just want you to have at least the opprotunity to have something better. To have that opprotunity to make a choice. I didn't have that choice. It was this life or nothing. It’s too late for me, but it’s not too late for you. I want to see you be the first Scaletta to walk across that stage and receive a high school diploma. I left a shitty reputation behind in that school, and they’re expecting you to do the same but I want you to prove those fuckers wrong.” I asked him what he did in school when he would skip and the first thing he said changed the subject entirely and it was “I smoked weed on the same corner where you sell it.” Then he shot me this look I was shocked, and he said “Yeah, I know what you’re doing. I have connections too.” He stood up and said “I’m not upset with you, but I just want you to know selling weed and simply smoking it are two very different things, and two very different charges to catch. I want you to be careful, because if I don’t even go to your school nor talk to the high school kids you sell it too, and still can find out what you’re doing so can they.” Then he walked over to me and kissed my on the top of my head and said “Lets go home, I’m starving.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

As we got home Mia had already made dinner because “we were taking too long.” So Vince and I sat down to plates that were already made. Later after dinner I was sitting on the back porch reflecting on the heart to heart Vince and I just had. It was the first one in ages. Leon shortly joins me on the back porch knowing that’s where I like to sit after dinner. He came up and sat next to me on the steps and said “So what did you and Vince do after I left? You guys took awhile.” I said “We had a heart to heart kind of moment. I think there’s been a lot on his mind lately. He talked about a lot of stuff. Mostly just how he wants me to have a better life than him and how he doesn’t exactly want me to be apart of the street racing world. He admitted on the way home that’s one of the reasons he was so hesistant about everything – teaching me to drive, and telling me about what it is you guys do. He had to tell me after I pretty much found out on my own. He knew he couldn’t keep it from me anymore.” Leon just sighed and said “Damn. That’s good though. You guys need more heart to hearts.” I asked “Why do you say that?” He said “Lacey, you’re literally the only reason Vince wakes up in the morning. He used to be so careless until one night he got jumped really badly. Didn’t come home for weeks because he didn’t want you to see him that way. He had to go to the hospital and everything. Ever since then he’s taken a lot more precautions than he normally would, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true. It’s because he doesn’t want to put you through…. Losing him. Not like that. I honestly truly believe if it weren’t for you, Vince wouldn’t be here anymore. He’s very depressed, he just hides it from you, and covers it up with anger.” My heart sank to the floor after Leon told me this, I literally never knew any of this, and Vince carries both of our burdens, he’s supposed to be the strong Scaletta. I couldn’t hold back the tears this time and I let them all out. Leon pulled me in and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped both his arms around me and kissed my head which is something he seem to be doing a lot lately, but I don’t mind and he said “Everything’s going to be okay though. I promise.” The way he made promises to me and the way he always made them sound so reassuring was alluring. I still was sobbing pretty badly and Leon grabbed my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs and smiled and said “I didn’t mean to upset you, Lacey. I’m really sorry.” Then he kissed me on the nose. I was in a whirlwind of emotions at this point, and honestly was not thinking at all, and I leaned in and kissed Leon… On the lips. It lasted a lot longer than I thought it would and some tongue even slipped from both of us. My whole body was tingling, but then abruptly Leon leans back and slowly licks his lips and says “I’m sorry Lacey, but….” I cut him off because I didn’t even want to finish hearing what he had to say, now I was embarrassed. I said “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Then I got up and ran off to my bedroom. I started balling my eyes out, because of what Leon told me and now because I ruined everything between Him and I. Should’ve just let him make the first move, but in all honesty it probably would’ve never happened. I was so blinded by my feelings that I didn’t think of this in terms of reality. I’m sixteen, he’s twenty. He would’ve never made the first move. I should’ve known he’d push away if I did. I literally just want to crawl in bed and stay here for the rest of my life.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

Two weeks go by and Leon and I haven’t really talked to one another besides the casual smile when we walk pass each other. He would smile first attempting to initiate that he isn't mad at me or whatever, but I'm mad at myself, and I figured he only did it to make feel better about the humiliation I brought upon myself. Today, I thought I was alone in the house, but of course Leon was the only other person there. We awkwardly met in the kitchen, he was already in there making food, so I tried to turn away as quickly as possible hoping he didn’t notice my attempt to abruptly exist. However, as I was turning around he said “Lacey!” I turned back around and didn’t say anything and just looked at him all while attempting to hide the hurt I felt inside. He said “You know you don’t have to avoid me..?” I said “I fucked up, and embarassed the hell out of myself, and I can’t take that back. What do you expect?” He said “You didn’t even embarrass yourself.” I said “I obviously did, just save it.” He got a little bit more of a stricter tone and said “You didn’t.” We both paused for a breif moment and he walked closer to me and said in a more quiet tone “I liked the kiss.” I just looked up at him with disbelief to what he just said, because here I am thinking that I totally ruined everything, and that he won’t even want to talk to me anymore. Before I could even say anything though Leon continued and said “It’s just that…. You’re Vince’s little sister….. And you’re….. Sixteen.”  I said “Who cares how old I am? You’re only twenty. That’s a four year difference, it’s not even a big deal. It’s not like you’re fifty-something.” Leon’s facial expression indicated that he agreed with me, and that he understands where I am coming from but his words contradict his expression as he says “But the state of California law says–” I cut him off and said in a very condenscending, sarcastic tone “Ohhhhhhhh, so we follow the law now?” Then Leon admitted “Lacey, I don’t give a shit about the law to be honest, and I know that four years isn’t a big deal… It’s just…” I said “It’s just what then? You care about what people are going to say?” He said “No, but yes. I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea. They don’t know me or you, but they won’t care. They’ll just assume that I’m some pervert who took advantage of you.” I said “But you didn’t take–” He cut me off this time and said “I know I didn’t take advantage of you. You’re the one who kissed me, but like I said nobody is going to care, because in society’s eyes even four years is a "big fucking deal” considering you’re not eighteen.“ I can't even argue and have to agree, because it’s true. So many people would look down on us simply because of the slight age difference. I said "I know…. It’s fucking stupid though. If I was eighteen and you were fourty-two nobody would care, but god forbid you’re literally twenty and I’m sixteen……” Leon just rested his hand on my shoulder because he knew I was getting flustered and frustrated. He said “I don’t care about people and their opinions, but at the same time, I don’t want to be deemed as a pedophile, but also you’re Vince’s little sister.” I said “I hate being titled as Vince’s little sister. I am my own person, and I do not live in his fucking shadow. I make my own decisions, and I’ve paved my own path.” He said “Of course, Lacey. I know that. I meant that Vince would literallly fucking kill me becuase of the fact that you are his little sister.” I said “Well, who said we have to tell anybody?” He just looked up at me with that same facial expression as before signaling that he agrees but as if he can’t agree. He said “Lacey, I just think we should wait on it…” I said “For how long?” He said “Until…… You’re 18….” I just said “Yeah, great. So am I just supposed to sit back and watch girls throw themselves at you for two years? Do you really think after that I’ll feel the same in two years, as if all the whoring around you’re going to do just disappears because I turn eighteen and we can live "happily ever after?”“ I began to storm off but he grabbed my arm and said "But, we don’t have to act like strangers Lacey.” I said “What do you expect Leon? I can’t change the way I feel about you, and quite frankly I don’t want to. We can’t just pretend the kiss and this conversation didn’t happen.” He said “I’m not asking you to forget it happen, and quite frankly, I don’t want to forget it either. I like you, I really do, but it’s a huge risk liking you, Lacey. Going to jail for boosting cars, or even street racing isn’t nearly as bad as getting locked up and portrayed as this evil human being and registering as a "sex offender.” You got to understand where I am coming from, Lacey.” He continued with, “We just can’t be in a relationship right now, but we don’t have to act like strangers. I still want to be there for you, like I was. I don’t want to lose the connection we had.” I said “Me either but it's my fault that we did….” He lifted my chin to advert my eyes to his and he said “You didn't ruin anything, Lacey. So can we hug it out?” I just smiled and gave him a giant squeeze to end the conversation. As days went by, things are still definitely awkward, but I’m just more content at the fact that at least he doesn’t hate me for it and to my surprise he even admitted to liking me too. Of course I don’t want anything bad to happen to Leon if we were to get caught, but I also don’t want to wait two more years either. I'm being a little selfish, but I can't help the way that I feel. I’m always just really frightened at the thought that my feelings for him won’t be the same in two years time, even more terrified thinking that he'll end up falling in love with an older girl with more experience in those two years. I don’t want to lose this feeling ever, but I have to prep myself for that possibility, and that's what's hurting the most. I’ve gotten back into things I was doing before Leon and I began hanging out all the time. It helped distract my mind from it usually even though most of time the thought of him crept it’s way into whatever I was working on, whether it was painting, drawing, or writing. The thought of what him and I could be somehow still managed to express itself in my art, but sometimes I wouldn’t even realize it. I would literally be on auto-piolet and intuned to the art itself without even realizing I interpreted Leon in some form into the art until afterwards. I started trying different forms of art such as crochet. I made myself some cute crocheted halter tops and bikinis, and I even made bracelets and jewlery with other materials. Still didn’t help me completely distract myself from him. I slowly and cautiously opened my brother’s bedroom door and went at ease after I found out he wasn’t in there. I don’t really know what I was doing in there but I started looking through the night stand drawer, and saw a bunch of old pictures and other miscellaneous things including some weed and a bowl for smoking weed. Then my attention went elsewhere and instantly I got an idea when my eyes focused on his guitar. He used to try to teach me how to play when I was younger and when he wasn’t so busy all the time. I still remember a few things, but I decided to pick it up and wing it. I sat back down on the bed and stroked the strings a little bit. Just the vibration and soft, unintelligent melody was so soothing. However to my surprise Vince walks in the room, we both shocked each other. I quickly put the guitar back down in the corner and he said “You don’t have to be a sneak about it. Whenever you want to try it out you can.” I laughed and said “I suck though.” He laughed and said “Not true. Everyone starts somewhere. I wasn’t born a good guitarist, I became one.” He then walked over to the guitar, picked it up and said “Here. You can have it. It’s yours now.” I said “You don’t have to do that.” He said “Lacey, it’s a gift. Just take it. Besides, I like the electric guitar better anyway.” I said “Thank you, Vince.” He said “No problem. You better write some bangers though.” Then we both laughed.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

I stayed late at school on a Friday night simply because my after school activites consisted of hanging out with Leon, and since I can’t really do that anymore I seriously looked for every excuse, and club, or extracurricular activity to participate in just to avoid going home, and being there alone with him. It’s not that I was scared of him or anything like that, even the awkward tension didn’t seem to quite be there anymore. I just knew that if I stayed around him I put myself and him in a bad position. We both are extremely infatuated with each other, and for his sake of not being deemed as a pervert sex offender, we have to refrain from putting each other in those situations where another heat of the moment kiss could take place and that could inevitabley push things further down the road, if you catch my drift. I participated in the art show tonight, I even showcased some of my artwork. I showcased them anonymously though, I’m not really great with constructive criticism, so if there were critics in the crowd who didn’t like my work, at least they wouldn’t know the face of the artist and I didn’t necessarily have to hear about it. Quinn, who I met in the art department who I helped with after school lighting and sound checks for theater, came up to me and said “I know that’s your work over there submitted “anonymously..” I said “Cool.” He asked “Why on earth would you do that? They’re extremely good, and you should hear what people are saying about them.” I said “That’s exactly the reason I anonymously submitted them, Quinn. I didn’t want to hear what people had to say about them.” He said “Even if they were extremely nice things?” I said “Well, those wouldn’t be so bad to hear, but it’s the negative ones I’m afraid of, and the bad always comes with the good. If you want the good, you have to expect the bad, but if you don’t want the bad at all, you have to sacrifice the good.” Quinn laughed and stated “Sometimes I feel like your mind drifts off and you make vague analogies that fit the topic at hand but also issues in your life you don’t explicitly bring up.” I said “You caught me. I have a knack for that.” I said it in a sarcastic tone to hopefully direct the conversation to a new topic, but he was shockingly right about my analogies. Didn’t realize I did them that often, nor did I realize Quinn and I had that many conversations for him to notice such a thing. Maybe he was just a great observer like me. After the artshow I stayed and helped clean up the gym, the sun has completely set by now and I was a little uneasy about walking home through the horrible neighborhoods, that never used to seem that bad, but now I know their stories. I also got eerie flashbacks from the Jackie incident, and how the last time I was in the streets by myself at nighttime, I was in a dazed drug-induced trance covered in blood. By the way, Jackie has still never been found, which doesn’t make this eerie feeling any better. Anyways, that night I ran to Leon as a safety net but now I’m too afraid to even call him to ask him for a ride home. Besides it’s Friday night, so he’s probably fighting right now anyway. Yes – fighting. Leon has always had a passion for mixed martial arts and UFC. His passion landed him an “under the table” job at a sketchy bar that made bets on the fighters. Winner gets the loot. Seriously, nothing my family dabbled in to make quick cash was ever legal. Then again, most outlets for "quick cash" rarely ever are. I started to walk home anyway after I gained the courage. Besides being outside the school with all the lights off seem to set off an even creepier vibe. I’m walking and start to observe my surroundings. I start thinking to myself out loud, “Okay, It’s Friday night, I’m sure a lot of parties are going to be taking place throughout the neighborhoods, expect hollaring, shouting, and a lot of cars. Don’t panic, you can do this, if you can practically Grand Theft Auto Mia’s car, and sneak around a secluded warehouse guarded by armed family members who would shoot first at a shadow in the woods sneaking up on the place, and investigate later, then I can simply walk home from school.” A car pulled up next to me, and as I’m gripping the pocket knife I stole from Vince’s end table drawer, I ease the grip when I realize it was Quinn. He said “I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I noticed you walking home and it’s pretty dark and this is a pretty sketchy area, if you don’t mind, then I won’t mind giving you a ride home.” I said “Actually, yeah, that’ll be good. Thank you.” I didn't particularly trust Quinn, as with anybody really, but I trusted him more the unpredictability of these streets. The car ride between me and Quinn wasn’t awkward, it was just boring to me because we obviously don’t relate on very many levels. However, he is a very nice guy, it’s just that I’m obviously more into perculiar, adverse guys like Leon and Quinn was definitely neither of the two. Quinn was an open book and he talked about everything he liked right off the bat, seriously lacking the enigmas vibe, and he doesn’t seem too adverse as he participates in a lot of school activites so he doesn’t really have time to be bad even if he wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, Quinn is very cute, but his baby face compared to Leon’s scruffy face just didn’t compare. I noticed in his backseat that there was a bucket from Dunkin Donuts and inside the bucket was a rumpled up brown apron, which I assumed was his work apron, and that he worked at Dunkin Donuts, but I wasn’t going to bring it up unless he did. I noticed the bucket said “glazed” on it, and I thought to myself why would he steal and wash out a bucket of donut glaze? He seemed really odd at times. His life story and things that he has interests in seemed rehearsed and he didn't seem too compassionate towards the things he claimed to have passion for. However, as it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen or encountered, I let the thought go. We finally pulled up in front of my house, and Leon, Vince, and Dom are outside drinking beers. As I was hoping for a quick exit Quinn wants to start small talk again and says “So you live in Echo Park? Kind of far from the school.” I said “Yeah, I used to go to the one closer but I had to transfer.” He then asks “Do you know the guys on the porch?” I said “Yeah, one of them is my brother, why?” He said “Just want to make sure you get inside safely.” I laughed and said “That’s not your job, Quinn. Thanks for the ride though.” As I’m walking up the path to the porch I already know they’re going to question me and ask about the guy that dropped me off so I’m already prepared for it. Vince says “Who was that?” I said “Quinn. He helps with a lot of after school activities and drove me home so I didn’t have to walk.” Leon abruptly said “Why didn’t you call me?” Vince gave him this look and then shot it back at me and said “Or me??” I said “I was just going to walk home, he offered.” Vince didn’t seem to care much about Quinn, just my well-being, and after seeing he offered out of “the kindness of his heart” Vince sort of let it go. However, Leon looked enraged and I can obviously assume why he would be, but then again, it was his choice to wait until I turned eighteen. So am I supposed to be lonely and single for two years? Not that I was even interested in Quinn in that manner, but I didn’t care if Leon thought so at the moment. A few hours later, Leon knocks on the doorway of my room, and I look at him and can immediately tell he’s had quite a lot to drink. I said “The door was already opened why’d you knock?” He completely ignored my question and continued to poke the Quinn situation and asked “So who’s Quinn?” I said “I already told you guys, he’s just a kid I met from doing after school stuff. He offered to give me a ride home.” He asked “Do you like him?” I sighed and said “No Leon, I don’t, not like that. Even if I did though, am I not allowed to? You and I are not together, and can’t be for two years. Am I supposed to be the same lonely little girl I've always been and wait on you while you have a fan club of whores who practically jump in your pants every time they see you?” Leon didn’t respond right away and said “I don’t entertain the whore fan club, I don’t want to.” I said “Well that’s good, but Quinn seriously is just a kid who offered me a ride home it’s really not that big of a deal.” I changed the subject and said “So anyways… Do you want me to clean the cuts on your face?” He smirked and said “Sure Dr. Lacey.” As I have Leon’s face gripped in my hand I start to feel the urge to cry, and I seriously do not even know why. Leon asked “Will this shit hurt?” I said “It’ll sting a little bit, but you’ve been drinking so you probably won’t even feel it.” After I clean his face we talk a little bit like we used to. He saw the guitar and started telling me stories about him learning the guitar and I thought to myself “Does he just know how to do everything?” In the middle of the guitar conversation though, he leaped up and ran to my bathroom to puke his brains out. I slowly crept in behind him and started rubbing his back. I do the same thing for Vince and Jesse when they have too much to drink, so it wasn’t even sexual. By this point Leon was slurrig his words, and couldn’t keep his eyes open. I let him lay down in my bed, and I put the bathroom garbage can next to him, he drifted asleep almost instantly, and to keep things from being super awkward in the morning, I borrowed some blankets from the living room couch, and slept on the floor. I know this is pretty much a contradiction from the night I slept in his bed and made him sleep next to me because it was his room, and his bed, I wouldn’t want him sleeping on the floor. However, due to recent events I figured it would just be wiser to sleep on the floor. Also, just in case someone decides they want to walk into my room, and get the wrong idea. Say Vince, for example.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

I wake up to a gentle shake on my shoulder, and I open my eyes to see Leon standing over me. Once I became fully aware of my surroundings upon waking up, Leon sat down next to me on the floor with his back resting against the side of my bed. I sat up and said “You okay?” He said “Yeah. Thanks.” There was a long pause and then he said “So…. What did happen last night? I remember a lot but can’t really remember much after the guitar conversation.” I said “Well, actually the guitar conversation is the last thing we talked about. You threw up and passed out literally in the middle of that conversation.” He said “Damn. Alright. Why didn’t you bring me to my room? Just curious.” I gave him this look and said “Do you think I’m strong enough to carry you princess style down a flight of stairs? You could barely stand and walk over to bed let alone a flight of stairs.” He started to chuckle and said “Thanks for taking care of me. You didn’t have to.” I said “I didn’t really have a choice, but I didn’t mind either way. Besides, there have been times where you’ve helped my drunk ass before.” He laughed and said “Well, that’s different. I’m a man.” I said “So what? Man or woman, tall or short, fat or skinny, if you drink alcohol you’re going to get drunk, and if you drink enough, you’ll get super wasted. It's what's supposed to happen and it happens to everybody.” I changed the topic and asked “So Leon, did you win the fight last night?” He said “Of course I did. Did you expect any less?” Then he grinned really hard. He said “Oh by the way, there’s going to be a party here tonight after the race.” I said “Am I allowed to come to the race?” He said “That’s up to Vince, not me. If it were up to me then yeah, of course you could.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him. Thirty minutes later I saw Vince and I started a casual conversation with him. I’m either really horrible at this or Vince is really good at this, he knew right away I wanted something. He said “What is it Lacey?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “You’re either about to ask me for money, or something else, but you’re going to ask for something, I can tell..” I said “Well damn, alright, but I want to know…. If… I…..” He said “Quit stalling. Just spit it out.” I said “Can I go to the race tonight?” He said “No, not tonight. I’m actually in the race tonight instead of Dom.” I said “So, what’s that mean?” He said “I just… I don’t want you in that environment unless I’m watching you.” I said “So you don’t trust Leon, Dom, Letty, or Jesse?” He said “I never said that. However, there is going to be an after party at the house tonight. You’re more than welcome to hang out with the party, I might let you even drink or smoke.” I said “I smoke anyways.” He looks up at me and said “Oh yeah, I forgot.” I said “Really?” He said “Nah, I know you smoke and drink behind my back. Why wouldn’t you? I’d do the same shit.” I said “So you don’t care about drinking or smoking, but I can’t come watch a race?” He said “Lacey, it’s more than that, half the street racing world in the city shows up to these things. Anything could happen in seconds. I just don’t want you to be there.” I said “Will I ever get to go to one?” “Haven’t you already?” He stated referring to the night I snuck behind his back with Chandler and I said “You know what I mean.” He sighed and said “Yeah. One day.” Vince seemed a lot more frustrated than his usual days. Yes, even a casual Vince was frustrated, but today seemed a bit more than normal. Dom came out the back door, and called to get Vince’s attention and cocked his head. Vince looked back at me and said “Alright kiddo, I got to go. I’ll see you tonight.” Then he grabbed the top of my head and playfully shook it a little bit. He’s been doing that since I was little, that was his way of affection. He’s not the hugs and kisses kind of guy, Vince barely pats people on the shoulder. I started to head back to my room and realized the whole house had left. I figured this was the perfect time to walk around the house in my underwear and listen to loud music, and ya know, do shit you can’t normally do in a house with six other people. After two hours go by and still nobody is home I’ve grown bored as hell. I laid on my bed and rolled over to my back. I started thinking about all kinds of random shit, like people normally do when they���re laying down all by themselves. Then I started thinking about Leon. I thought about him to the point where I inevitabley turned myself on. Then I realized that I’m all alone, I can be as loud as I want and not have the paranoia of someone walking in on me. I sat up and took my shirt off and laid back down. I started to rub my body softly creating goose bumps and making my nipples hard. I closed my eyes and slowly let my hand ease it’s way underneath my panty line. I was instantly wet, I don’t do this often, because I hardley ever get chances like this. I slowly started rubbing my clit and lubricating my fingers. I gradually squeezed two of my fingers inside of me, and back and fourth they went, and faster and faster they got. It was pretty quick, but it felt so good. I started squirting and I knew that I was cumming. I’m not that inexperienced, I know what my body can do. It's the opposite sex and their genitals that I'm inexperienced with. After I finished, I relaxed and listened to my rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. Then I got up and realized that I was so eager to get a quick fix in that I didn’t even lay a towel down. I rolled my eyes because now I had to wash my sheets. Sometimes, I wish I was a guy. Stuff like this would be much easier. I can’t even pleasure myself without having to do chores. I hopped in the shower real quick to wash myself off, then I wrapped a towel around me, grabbed my sheets and headed downstairs to the laundry room which was in a nook room behind the kitchen. As I turned the washer on I heard the back door close and my heart sank. I wasn’t even doing anything anymore, but me washing my sheets in a towel just looks suspicious, and I don’t really want the awkward tension of someone even suspecting that I just got done masturbating. I turn the corner and saw that it was Mia with a bunch of grocery bags. She said “Hey Lacey, what’s up?” I said “Just got out of the shower. Did some laundry. I don’t know. Had a pretty boring day. Are all these groceries for the party tonight?” I tried to abruptly change the topic and get the attention off of me and it worked, she looked up really fast and said “No. What party?” I said “Leon and Vince both said they’re having an after party tonight after the race.” Mia rolled her eyes and said “Ugh, that’s great.” I said “We have parties all the time.” She said “I just wish I got informed. I was going to cook dinner tonight for everyone, but I’m not making food for other people to eat it, fuck that. We’ll just wait 'til tomorrow.” Mia placed both hands on the counter and as I begin walking away she said “So Lacey…” I turned around expecting her to just continue and she laughed and said “So, how’s your love life?” I said “What?” She laughed some more and said “When you used to help me out at the cafe everyday you told me you had a crush on some guy who you said didn’t even know you existed.” I said “Ahhhh, yeah. I remember that.” I actually totally forgot about that, and evidently I was referring to Leon, and at that time I would’ve never imagined him and I would be as close as we are now nor did I ever expect him to develop any sort of feelings for me, so I literally thought the conversation was harmless and that I wouldn’t ever have to bring it up again. Mia said “So does he know you exist now?” I laughed and said “More than you know.” She said “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said “I kind of told him how I felt but he didn’t feel the same way back.” Mia said “I’m sorry. There’s plenty of guys out there Lacey, don’t worry about it.” I only said what I said to get Mia to end the conversation, which she did, but I wasn’t expecting her to say it like that. I don’t want to think about other guys, I only want to think about Leon, and I sort of lied, because Leon does like me back. I couldn’t tell her the complication was our age difference. That would’ve ended very badly and she probably would’ve told Vince about my secret crush and raise a ton of suspicion about who it was and since Leon and I have been undoubetly hanging out, I think Vince would figure it out immediately. I just smirked at her and said “Yeah, I guess.” Then walked away.

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As it gets closer and closer to the party time I start getting ready. I put on a ton of makeup on and a sexy, but classy tube top and some leggings with boots. I want to look older than sixteen tonight. Not for slutty reasons, obviously because I have my eye on only one man, and I’ve only technically been with one guy before, but because I don’t want people to assume I’m sixteen. I for once just want to be treated like an adult. Also, maybe nobody will look at me weird if I’m walking around drinking. After I’m done getting ready I go outside and start rolling blunts for me throughout the night. Vince walks up from the back porch for whatever reason, and I didn’t even hear him pull up. To be honest it scared me and made me jump, causing me to drop four blunts I’ve already rolled. Vince picks them up and says “One of them is mine since I’m the coolest brother in the world.” I said “Oh yeah?” He said “Am I not?” Then laughed and walked away. I’m guessing by his extremely good mood, that he won the race tonight so I didn’t even have to ask. Literally minutes later a bunch of random people show up meaning the party has officially begun. It’s weird because as much as I want to fit into this lifestyle, I already wish people would leave my house. This isn’t even the first big party we’ve thrown here, people on the whole block know us as the loud obnoxious party house. They don’t call the cops on us anymore though. I feel really socially awkward, and kind of just want to sit in my room the whole time, but I told myself I didn’t do all this makeup for no reason. I step outside and smoke the first blunt, I figured this would help me get into the laid back party mood. Jesse plops down next to me on the porch, it’s an odd thing because it’s usually Leon who sits down next to me on the porch. Jesse said “Hey Lacey. Finally apart of the big dogs, huh?” I laughed and said “Haven’t I technically always been?” He said “Well, with a brother like Vince I couldn’t disagree.” I pass him the blunt and he took it and said “Aye, thanks.” It was cool chilling with Jesse. He’s actually the first person I “bought” weed from. I knew I could trust him because literally nobody found out about it, and I thought it was cool since he gave it to me for free and explained to me that as long as I’m safe with it and whatnot he wouldn’t mind smoking me out and giving me weed. He said that it would always be for free because we’re family. Plus, I don’t think Jesse really wanted to take my allowance money from the cafe anyway. The cafe money was really just shared family money that he technicallyy already had in his pockets anyway. Jesse is really chill, and has a hippie flower child type of stoner vibe. It’s honestly the best kind of stoner to surround yourself with. Plus, it’s been awhile since Jesse and I have smoked together or even had a deep conversation together. I broke the silence by asking “So, was the race eventful?” He chuckled and said “Same ol’ same ol’.” I asked “What’s so special about them?” He said “There really isn’t a general specialty to them. It’s all how you perceive it. I know they’re special to Dom because he pratically invented the street racing world here and because he grew up around it with his dad and whatnot. They’re special to Vince because it clears his mind. They’re special to me because it’s cool seeing the cars I worked on win. I’m not sure why they’re special to Leon or Letty, but it is what it is.” There was a bit of a pause and Jesse said “I can see why you’re so eager to get in on the races though. It’s funny because I remember Vince telling me that when he was back in high school he was really eager too.” I just smiled. Jesse then said “Do you want a beer? I won’t tell Vince.” I smiled harder and said “Sure, but Vince already offered me one for tonight anyway.” He said “Ahhhh, Lacey is growing up.” Then we walked into the kitchen and he handed me a Corona. He seemed a bit surprised to see me get the top off on my own without any effort. He laughed and said “Ahhhhh, someone’s done this before.” I playfully laughed and said “Shhhh.” A few minutes later Mia, Dom and Vince walk into the kitchen and Mia practically berated me like she was my mother and said “Lacey Maree is that a beer in your hand!? What are you doing?” Dom laughed and said “Relax Mia, should I remind you of how old you were when you had your first? She’s fine let her drink a lil’. Besides she’s in the safety of her own home. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Vince condenscendingly added on and said “Yeah, I already signed the permission slip.” Then he laughed and did the playful head shake thing again. I’m starting to feel relaxed now and even more so that I finally feel like I’m apart of the whole crew now, but in the back of my mind I’m starting to wonder more and more where Leon is and what he’s doing. I walk into the living room and instantly notice Leon sitting down in the chair in the living room with a blonde, trampy looking skank on his lap. I recognized her as one of his ex-girlfriends named Monica, who Vince has also had his fair share of time with. She’s a homie hopping whore. Leon didn’t look too interested which was odd, but it’s still disrespectful. He knows I’m here and could see the shit as easily as I just did. He knows I like him and he said he liked me too just the other day and then does this!? It’s not even just the fact that there’s a skank on his lap. If we have to wait two years, I expected him to have his fun with other girls, and if the opprotuity arose for me to do the same with a guy, I’d probably take it. It’s the fact that this is being done right in front of me. In my house in my living room. I stood there staring for God knows how long then Leon makes eye contact with me. He had to do a double take and then called out "Lacey!” I saw him practically push the girl to the floor and start coming my direction, but I don’t even care for his explanation or excuses at the moment. I ran through the crowd of people as fast as I could so he couldn’t get to me. There was so many people in the house you have people practically breathing down your neck, literally. I noticed that I couldn’t see him at all anymore through all the strange faces. I grabbed a bottle of Patron off of the kitchen island and walked outside where the party didn’t seem too heavy. There were quite a few people out here but not nearly as many as there were inside. I would sit on the hammock but a random couple is laying in it which makes me want to burn it and buy a new one. About an hour, I believe, passes and I realized that I may’ve had way too much to drink plus the marijuana wasn’t helping. I suddenly felt the urge that I had to throw up so I ran to the door, and fought my way through the blurry crowd of people and went into the downstairs bathroom. I don't really know why I didn't just puke in the grass outside. I blacked out for the first time in my life because I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t even remember throwing up. I just woke up to Leon standing over me. I saw him grab the bottle of Patron from my hands and place it on the counter and lifted me up and carried me to my room. Who knows how long I was laying on that bathroom floor. The next afternoon I wake up to two gatorades on my nightstand and a note from Leon saying You probably need these and call me when you’re awake. I said to myself Oh so I’m supposed to forgive you because you bought me gatorade? I didn’t want to call him. I didn’t want to talk to him. Okay, who am I kidding? Of course I wanted to talk to him. I loved talking to him. Plus, I do want to hear his explanation now that I’m sober and not so heated anymore. I texted him instead of calling him though to make it seem as if I didn’t care that much. A couple minutes went by and then he’s walking into my room. I didn’t sit up or even pretend to care that he was there. He said “I want to explain myself.” I chuckled and said “Why?” He said “Because I owe it to you.” I said “You don’t owe me shit.” He said “Well after last night, I should explain.” I said “What about last night?” I was trying to throw the impression that I don’t remember anything even though I remember everything that set me off distinctively. He said “The girl… Sitting on my lap.” I said “Oh yeah.” He said “You’re never going to let it go, are you?” At this point I figured it was silly to lie to myself and pretend like it didn’t bother me and lie to him and pretend like I don’t remember. I only had one beer at that point, of course I remembered. It was the reason I decided to down a bottle of Patron and black out. I sat up and sighed and said “Leon, I’m not holding on to anything, and I’m not mad. How can I be mad if you’re not my boyfriend? There’s nothing I can do about some bimbo on your lap. It was just the fact that it happened in our fucking living room, in our fucking house just a couple of days after you confessed you had the same feelings I do. How am I supposed to react? It did hurt a little.” He said “I don’t blame you for being pissed off and salty about it at all. It’s just that Vince "hooked” her up with me. If I declined he would’ve been even more suspicious and think something was really up between me and you.“ I was confused at him saying this and I said "Wait what?” He said “Vince thinks there’s something going on between us.” I said “He actually said that?” Leon said “Not directly or in so many words but he’s been asking a lot of questions implying that he suspects it. Questions such as "So you and Lacey have been spending a lot of time together, huh?" Vince is a pretty straight foraward guy so when he asks questions like that it’s because he’s trying to get to the bottom of something. Him hooking me up with Monica was a test.” I asked “Did you really hook up with her?” He said “No! I would never hook up with her again. She’s just a thirsty slut. I wouldn’t lie to you Lacey, I never have and I never will. I won’t start now. I did however tell Vince that we did to get him off my back. If he thinks I actually hooked up with her he won’t be so suspcious about me and you anymore.” I said “True. Plus if he really thought we were dating or something he would’ve already killed you for cheating on me.” We both started laughing, but my laugh quickly faded away and I said "Even if he was still suspicious it's not like it truly matters anyway, since we really aren't together." He said “Listen, I am really, really sorry about the whole thing. I know there’s no way I can take it back and make you unsee what you saw, but I just felt like I had to explain that it truly wasn’t what it looked like. She got super drunk, and I sent her home with her friends. That’s literally the end of it.” I said “I believe you. I just…. Don’t let it happen again. Even though we’re not together I don’t want to see that shit.” He said in a tone as if he was admitting something and said “Yeah, me either,” and looked up at me. He was most likely referring to Quinn. Leon and I actually sat in my room for awhile and started to talk like we used to. We actually shared some good laughs. As he was walking out I said “Hey Leon, do you want to come to this stupid play at school tonight? I’m going to be in it and the rest of the family is coming.” He said “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I just smiled really big. He always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He added “I didn’t strike you as the kind of person to really be into that sorta thing though. You're artsy, but you in a play? I just don't see it.” I said “I’m not really. I kind of got pestered into doing it and couldn’t really say no.” He laughed and said “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great regardless.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:

Dear Diary, I haven’t written in you in such a long time because I haven’t needed to. Leon became my real life diary with actual feedback. It was amazing. It was everything I could ever ask for. However, after I confessed to him how I felt we sort of drifted apart from each other. The bond we had for awhile seemed to fade away. However though, he admitted to feeling the same way about me. Our age difference was the only problem, well and my brother. So I guess I’m back to resorting to you with my problems. I’m just worried that in two years time we won’t feel the same way we do now. I really wish I could go back to the days when I barely knew anything about him. I wish I could be that fifteen year old girl again with just a little crush. Things were way more simple back then. I miss the feeling I would get when he walked by, and I don’t feel that anymore. Then again, him and I never really talked back then at all so I did gain a lot. I thought being sixteen was going to change things for me. I thought the family would start respecting me and treat me more like an adult, and it seemingly worked out that way for awhile, until after I told Leon how I felt and it seemed as if I back tracked to being fifteen again. I sometimes wish I could go even further back to when I was a little girl. When Vince would give me underdogs on the swing set, when he’d read me stories to bed, and when being on top of the world was simply sitting on his shoulders. I daresay that the euphoric feeling I got from sitting on Vince’s shoulders will never again exist within me. I miss family game nights, and family movie nights. Being sixteen sucks. The older I get the more I realize how shitty this life and the world can be, and here I was in such a rush to grow up and be an adult.

There is nothing to really even talk about when it comes to the play. I did farely well I suppose, but I was nervous as hell knowing my whole family was in the crowd watching me. I got so used to them not being around or paying this much attention to me. After the play I ran backstage to change, and then I met my family who all shared their congratulations with me. Vince hugged me and said “You were great, kiddo.” Then out of nowhere Quinn walked over to me and my family. I hated when the friends I had during my school hours felt like they could just walk up to my family. I mostly hated the awkward confrontation and the awkward questions I get from the said friend afterwards. Quinn said “You were great Lacey.” Vince said “And you are..?” Quinn responded with “I’m Quinn. Lacey’s friend. I take it you’re the brother.” Vince said “Yep.” Vince wasn’t actually interested in getting to know him or coverse with him he just said what he did to be a dick and to be intimidating. For once, I didn’t mind it. Mia said “Well, it’s nice to meet you Quinn,” and then she shot me this playful look and I thought to myself shit she thinks this is a guy that I like. Right after thinking that thought I look over to Leon who’s heavily trying to avoid looking this direction for obvious reasons and for those same obvious reasons he has to pretend not to care that Quinn is standing next to me. Dom walks over and hugs me tightly and said “I’m proud of you Lacey, you’ve always been quite the artist of the family, keep that up. Don’t ever lose sight of that no matter what.” I said “Of course not.” Then smiled. He gathered the gang up and they started to head out. I've gotten so used to that. Vince walked over to me and said “Want a ride home?” I said “I fucking wish I could go home. I have to stay here and help clean up.” Vince said “Alright, just call me if you need me, we’re not going too far tonight.” I said “Alright, I will.” As I’m cleaning one of the makeup stations Quinn walks up to me and said “So, you have an interesting family.” I said “Yep.” He said “So, I’m guessing you need a ride home since they all left you?” I snapped back and said “They didn’t leave me. I can call them whenever I want.” He said “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I was just saying that in hopes that you would say you needed a ride so I could surprise you with a cheap date to Burger King.” I began to laugh at his request but then I started to think to myself that Quinn isn’t that ugly. He’s your pretty average preppy looking guy. He wasn’t my type by any means, but still, I give credit to where it’s due. I also thought that if Leon and I can’t be together for two more years, where’s the harm in having some fun? I know damn well he’s going to fuck other girls in the meantime anyway. So why not? I said “You know what… That actually sounds good. Sure.” He said “Wow, really? Alright then, it’s a date.” I want to be the one calling the shots here so I said “Woah, woah, woah. Lets not get ahead of ourselves now. It’s not a date. It’s just two friends eating food together.” He said “Alright, I’ll take it.” After we ate, we got back in the car and I was honestly so disappointed. It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. Well, I haven’t been on very many but I don’t think it could get any worse or anymore boring than this. Quinn and I literally have nothing in common. He didn’t talk about anything I could even pretend to be interested in. We don’t have the same music type either. We couldn’t even talk about something as simple as music. I suppose he’s probably thinking the same thing I am though. I started talking about cars and racing and naming car parts and he had no idea what I was talking about at all. The whole time I was talking and making jokes, I saw this blank expression in Quinn's eyes that contradicted the smile on his lips. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about nor did he care. The whole time I just kept thinking to myself Leon would get it. I decided to talk about something we clearly had in common seeing how that’s how we met– art! Then he confessed that he’s only taking art classes because he joined the school late after his parents were in a car accident and all the cooler elective classes were already filled up. I did notice that he didn’t mention who he was living with now, since he mentioned his parents died in the accident, but I wasn’t going to ask. Kind of rude, in my opinion. Anyways, this entire night was a total drag. Quinn and I pull up to my house, finally, and he said “It doesn’t look like anyone is home. Do you want me to stay here with you?” I was seriously baffled by his question. Does he think I’m some fragile princess who’s never been home alone before, and was this seriously an attempt to get in my room after only one cheap ass dinner gathering at Burger King? I said “No, that won’t be necessary. Goodbye now.” He leaned in and abruptly kissed me and I pushed him off and said “What the fuck is your problem?” I opened the car door and said “Go fuck yourself!” Every part of me that wanted to feel bad for him just didn’t exist. Who the hell does he think he is? What makes him think he can just kiss me after one pathetic date at Burger King? I specifically even told him that it wasn’t even a date it was just two friends eating food together. What a cocky asshole. After being home for nearly thirty minutes I heard a door slam downstairs. I thought it was them coming home, but after I heard no noises or usual chatter I started to get an uneasy feeling. I immediately ran across the hall to my brother’s room and grabbed the baseball bat next to his bed. My mind wandered to who it could be. One of my family’s enemies? Would they hurt me? Wait, that’s a stupid question Lacey, they’d use you as leverage if anything. I thought to myself that this seriously can’t be happening right now. Lacey, you have to be smart about this. I searched my brother’s room high and low, and finally found a gun in the top of his closet. I knew I’d find one in here. I knew I would. I remember everything from watching YouTube how-to videos all about guns and shit. I loaded it and told myself this was obviously my best defense, and so far I’m currently undetected and I have a gun which means I currently have an advantage. I look down the stairs and I don’t hear or see anyone at all. I start to slowly walk down and head towards the kitchen since that’s where the slam came from. Nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary I knew damn well it wasn’t just the wind or my imagination. Every bitch that’s ever said that in movies ends up dying right after they say that shit and let their guard down. All of the sudden someone grabs me from behind but I was able to bite their hand and maneuver my way out of their grip. I dropped the fucking gun and now whoever this intruder is has it because the risk of trying to grab it was too high to be grabbed by them again. I had to be snappy with the decision making. I knew I had to run. So I did. I ran back up to Vince’s room and locked the door. I knew the baseball bat was my only weapon choice, but seeing how they have the gun and I have the bat I have a serious disadvantage now. I would only have one chance with what had to be a sneak attack to really fuck this person up before they shoot me. I started thinking to myself, that I should’ve ran to my room and climbed out the window on to the roof. I’d take my chances jumping off the roof than staying in this house. I couldnt of ran out of the kitchen door, I noticed it was locked. The time it would take to stop to unlock it would be enough time for them to grab me again. So that really wasn’t an option. The person started banging at the door and I was so scared for my life. Just as I was about to say my prayers and acccept the fact that I might die tonight I notice something poking out from Vince’s sheets. He had a shotgun under his mattress. I thought to myself “Jesus Christ, thank you Vince you crazy gun enthusiast bastard.” I loaded it and just as I was about to shoot at the door the person barges in and punches me. I fall to the floor and they try to rip my leggings off. My mouth was bleeding so bad and my face felt numb. I was able to move to the side and punch the person in the face with the little force I could manage. Which was a little effective they bounced back enough for me to get my feet free so I leapt over to the shotgun and didn’t even think twice about pulling the trigger. I shot the person in the chest and watched them fall to their knees then face first to the floor. I flipped them over and began to stab him with Vince’s pocket knife to really make sure the fucker was dead. Pure rage took over and I went overboard on the stabbing and when I came to, I realized what I had just done. I just fucking murdered a human being. A vile human being, who deserved it, but still. I start hyperventilating and drop the pocket knife when I see a pool of blood form and start to stain the carpet. I had blood all over my hands and wrists and clothes. I kneeled back down on the ground next to the person and and started to lift the mask off. My heart sank when I saw that is was Quinn. I’ve never killed anyone before or felt so relieved by murder. Well, I actually felt a sense of relief when Leon murdered the fuckers who drugged me, but then it was more so a sense of vengence. I also realized that there’s no way we could cover this up as easily as Leon did. It happened in my brother’s room! I freak out. I called Leon because he’s clearly gotten away with murder before, except for, Vince answered. He said “Jesus Christ Lacey are you okay?” I said “No.” He said  "Where the fuck are you?“ I said "I’m at home….” He said “What? We got a text saying you needed our help at the school.” I remembered setting my phone down in the living room on a charger and realized that Quinn probably took it and sent that so my family wouldn’t have came home while he was doing all he wanted to do to me. I said “I didn’t send that.” He said “So what’s wrong? And who did?” I said “Someone broke into the house and I was attacked.” Vince shouts at this point and says “What!? Where are they now? Lacey are you okay? Are they still there? We’re on our way.” I said “Please stay on the phone with me Vince I’m so scared.” He said “Lacey what happened? Where are they?” I started crying because I didn’t know how to put in words what just happened, especially over the phone. They’ll see for themselves when they get home and it’ll all speak for itself. At this point I feel completely numb. I’m just sitting near the doorway of Vince’s room, staring at the lifeless body that used to be Quinn. Why did he want to hurt me? Was it because I rejected his kiss and it sent him over the psychopathic edge? Or was this his agenda the whole time? Vince says “Lacey the phone is about to die but we’re right down the road.” Then he hung up. They all came running in the house screaming my name I was too numb and out of it to respond. All of the sudden they all came running up the stairs and walked into Vince’s room since they saw me sitting there. Vince had the most shocked expression on his face that I have ever seen before. He looked at the dead body on the floor of his bedroom and saw two of his guns and his pocket knife. They all had the most shocked expressions on their faces that I have never seen before. Leon kneels down next to me, I was shaking at this point and couldn’t speak. Leon runs across the hall into my room and grabs me a towel and wraps it around me. Vince then kneels down next to me and said “Are you okay?” I couldn’t snap out of the trance I was in and Vince softly shouted “Lacey!” I said “I’m okay.” Leon said “She needs to lie down before she hyperventilates goes into shock.” Vince carries me downstairs to the couch. They all follow and sit in the living room shocked and quiet. Jesse said “What do we do? Call the cops?” Dom said “No.” Mia said “Why not!? It’s not like we did anything wrong, he broke in here and tried to hurt Lacey. She was just defending herself.” Dom shouts back “The cops can’t come around here, Mia. They just can’t!” Mia said “Then what the fuck do we do, Dom?” I look over to Leon thinking maybe he’ll get the hint in my eyes and call this Saul and have him reach out to his connections, but just then Vince speaks and says “I have an idea.” Everyone eagerly looked over to him including myself. He said “There’s a place we can bury the body. The same place we burried Tran’s cousin.” Dom said “You’re not supposed to say that shit, man.” Vince said “As if it fucking matters anymore, Dom. The only person who didn’t know about it was her,” he says as he points to me. Leon said “I’ll call Saul and have him get his connections involed for the mess upstairs.” I thought to myself it’s a good thing he mentioned him otherwise I would’ve.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:

A couple of days go by and everything happened as it normally would. Well, if you were in my family, and used to committing such crimes. Leon’s connections through Saul came into the house and ripped up Vince’s carpet, somehow managed to clean the wood underneath, and it was like as if it never even happened. Not one drop of blood left anywhere in the room, or the house for that matter. Watching Vince, Leon, Jesse and Dom dig and drop Quinn’s lifeless body into a hole in the ground would make anybody else feel maybe frightened, paranoid, or guilty. To me however, I didn’t feel any of that. In fact, I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so numb to the whole situation. If anything I felt relieved that it was over, with what felt like a snap of the finger. The drive there and back was silent. I sat in the backseat with Vince as he held me tightly, as if he didn’t want me to even slip through his fingers just a tad bit. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t scared– I don’t know what he was to be honest. Once we got home, I ran straight up the stairs to the shower. Everyone else went quietly to their rooms as well. I think we all just want to forget this ever happened. These past few days have been nightmareish. I thought that things would get better in time, even if it was just a little bit of time but I still feel numb. I feel like the world has stopped spinning and it sat still and just gave up. I decided to crawl out of bed for once for something other than a shower or to use the restroom. I needed fresh air, but instead of walking outside my room and having to face everyone, I did what I always do. I climbed out my window and sat on the roof. The roof of my house was a sacred place for me. It was a place for me to be alone, and be with just my thoughts, and I could even see the LA horizon. Sunsets were my favorite. As I’m rolling a blunt to smoke I start to hear chatter from down below, as I listen in I could hear that it was Leon and Vince talking about me, so of course I chimed in. I could hear Vince say in what sounded like a continuation of a conversation that was already started inside the house, “What I still don’t understand is why she called you.” Leon said “What’s that supposed to mean?” Vince replied “I don’t know you tell me.” Leon said “Look man, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Vince said "The fucking truth." Leon didn't respond to this but I'm assuming he shot Vince a look and Vince said “It’s just that ever since you’ve been tutoring her she hasn’t really talked to me and all she cares about is you pretty much. Even if she doesn't explicitly say it, it's kind of obvious. I mean even that time she got jumped, she called you. I thought to myself, okay it’s reasonable, you were a lot closer to the area, but this time she had just killed a human being and her first thought is to call you instead of me?” Leon laughed under his breath and said “Look man, like I said, I don’t know why she called me that night, or the night she got jumped. I don't know what you want me to tell you.” Vince responded more angrily and straight forward and asked “Is there anything I should know about that's going on between you two?” Leon snapped back and said “Jesus Christ Vince, No!” Vince said “Then why are you getting all defensive?” Leon snapped back even harder and said “Fuck you, I’m not. I just don’t like accusations or interrogations so if you got something on your fucking mind, spit it out.” Vince didn’t respond after this but all of the sudden I hear disembodied grunt noises and then see both of them fall to the ground, they are now in sight and I can see that Vince is on top of Leon punching him in the face. I don’t know what for though. Technically there is legitimately nothing going on between me and Leon and the little thing that did occur, Vince can’t prove it. Vince never thinks rationally though. However, Vince is extraordinarily smart, way smarter than he may seem or what people give him credit for. He gets these hunches all the time about everything and his hunches are very rarely ever wrong, and as we can see, this hunch technically really wasn’t. Dom comes out of nowhere and rips Vince off of Leon and Vince just storms off and I could hear his car start and screech down the road all while Dom is lifting Leon up making sure he’s alright. Dom said to Leon “What the hell was that all about?” Leon said “I’m not really sure exactly.” I couldn't tell if Leon really wasn't sure why Vince snapped or if he just didn't want to imply it had something to do with me. I heard Mia’s voice in the background say “Someone should go check on Lacey.” I snap back to reality and realize I'm not just a narrator in a movie overseeing an event and that I have to scram to my window as silently as possible, without anyone seeing me. I climbed through the window and shut it and laid back down just in time to make it look like I never moved, as the door flies open, and to my surprise it’s Letty. She doesn’t say anything at first, she just stands there, sighs, then drags my bean bag chair to the middle of my room, sits, and stares again. I sit up a little bit and stare back at her. She’s staring at me like she wants me to say something and break the silence, but I have no idea what she wants me to even say. She began to talk and said “I’m guessing you already know the question I’m going to ask you……. So just tell me how you are doing.” I said “Fine… I guess.” She said “That doesn’t sound too reassuring.” I said “How am I supposed to feel?” She just glances over at me, then says “Do you want to talk about it?” I abruptly said “Nope. I do not. I want to forget it ever happened.” She said “If that weren’t a mentally unhealthy option, I’d let you do that, but you can’t just forget it ever happened. You got to face the world and you got to own up to it. I mean I’m not suggesting you see a therapist or anything like that but you can’t beat yourself up over something that needed to be done. It was kill or be killed, right? You should own that shit and be proud that motherfucker can’t hurt anybody else, all because you were strong enough to end it. So, like I said; face the world, Lacey.” I said “What if I’m not ready to do that?” She bluntly said “Then you’ll never be.” Those words did not settle right with me and they weighed heavily on my chest. I said “Well, what do you suggest?” Letty said “Well, for starters, you can start breaking the rules for once." I said "Haven't I already done that? You know, getting away with murder and all?" She looked at me as if she wanted to call me a smart ass and tell me to stop being condescending but she said "That's not what I meant. I was referring to Vince's rules. Vince isn’t your father, he’s the only one telling you that you can’t come. The rest of us would’ve brought you along ages ago. So come to the race tonight with us.” After Letty walks out I hop in the shower and then sat on the bean bag chair wrapped in my towel afterwards. I sat there contemplating whether or not I even wanted to go to the race tonight. What was Letty going to do? Force me? Months ago, being invited along to the race would be a dream come true, and now I can honestly see that it's really not that big of a deal. Also, I was a bit too comfortable in my room now, after not leaving it for days. I felt anxious about walking around my own house. I also start to think about this kind of lifestyle in general. It only gets worse from here, right? I’m only sixteen years old and I’ve killed someone, and instead of doing the normal thing and calling the police after an intruder tried to rape me, we burried the body ourselves. That means if I’m ever in trouble, for any reason at all, I can’t call the police. I have to handle it myself. I have to be strong enough and wise enough to know what to do in those types of situations. The scariest thought of it all was, will I ever be? My door opened and it interrupted my train of thought and I stand and turn to face Leon who quickly glances down as if he was the one embarrassed to find me in a towel and he said “Can I talk to you?” I walk over to the doorway and said “If we’re not in a relationship, you should probably knock.” Then I shut the door. It wasn’t in a rude way, and it’s not like I slammed the door, I just shut it like any normal person would close a door at any ordinary circumstance. I immediately regretted it and felt like shit afterwards regardless, but at the same time I didn’t. Too many emotions to feel all at once and it made me feel like I just wanted to sleep for a month straight. As I nervously walk down the stairs I run into Mia and she says “You look pretty. Are you ready to go?” I said “You already knew I’m coming?” She said “We all do– except Vince. He’ll find out as soon as he meets us there though.” I said as Mia started walking down the hall “Is he going to be mad?” Mia stopped and turned around and slouched her shoulder at my question, and responded with “Lacey…… Who cares? He needs to stop smothering you. As much as I don’t want to necessarily be apart of this life either, I am. I need to be smart and taught and experienced with this life if shit ever goes down. Inevitably, you are part of this life too and you as well need to know the things we do, and be experienced.” I didn’t know Mia ever felt or thought this way. I wanted to change the topic and I was also extremely curious at this point what Leon wanted to talk about so I asked “Where’s Leon?” In hopes for it to be an exit strategy and to divert the attention to a different topic, and she responds with “Don’t worry about silly boys tonight, Lacey. It’s a girl’s night.” I said “With me, you, and who?” She said “Letty! Who else?” I said “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to have a quote on quote girl’s night.” Letty came up behind us, wrapped her arms around us both, looked at me and said “I’m not, thanks for noticing. Let’s go.” As we're sitting at the race surrounded by hundreds of strange faces, I feel a little uneasy. I wasn't behind the scenes like last time with Chandler, this time I was with the Toretto crew and part of the script. Letty looked over at me and Mia and said "I'm gonna go talk to Leon about the borders for the location tonight." She left me and Mia alone which means she's going to start awkward conversation. She had an annoying knack of making any conversation with her, despite the topic, pretty much awkward. She sat on the hood of Letty's car and tapped her hand next to her signaling for me to do the same. She said "Soooooo." I condenscendingly raised my eyebrows at her and expected her to finish her sentence without me having to do much talking. She did and asked "So what's with you and Leon?" I was totally shocked by this question. Why would she even ask something like this? I responded "Nothing! Why would you even ask that?" She looked at me like she wanted to say that I was stupid or something and said "It's pretty obvious you have a crush on him the way you stare at him in awe like an alien spacecraft is landing right in front of you, and the way your eyes light up when anyone even mentions his name." I was enraged at this point. How fucking dare she stick her nose where it doesn't belong. There's nothing going on between me and Leon, and even if there was it's none of her goddamn business. Is she the one who started raising suspicion and dropped the idea in Vince's head? She's starting drama for no reason. I've never had any personal beef with anyone in the family, but she's practically asking to be the first. I responded angrily and said "That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it?" I was trying to keep my cool even though on the inside I wanted to claw her fucking eyes out. She said "No, it goes exactly like that." I snapped after that response and said "Who fucking cares if I have a little crush on him? I'm allowed to think somebody is attractive without it being any more than that. You're honestly trying to create something out of nothing, and even if there was something going on between me and Leon it's none of your goddamn business. But there isn't so quit assuming. You never even talk to me, or Leon, how would you even know what's going on in our lives behind closed doors to make such an accusation?" Mia looked appalled by my response as if she didn't think I would stand up for myself in that manner. She said "Okay... I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to... Offend you." Before I could say anything I saw Letty and Leon approaching us which means the conversation definitely should come to a halt. I'm sure Leon could tell how pissed off I was because I felt heated and enraged on the inside. I could only imagine how red my face must have been due to the anger and slight embarassment. He asked me "You okay, Lacey?" I wasn't ready to answer because I could feel that irritating throat pain that signaled I was going to choke on my words from holding back the anger tears, but it didn't matter because before I could Dom called Leon over and he walked away. I could feel Mia's eyes piercing the back of my skull as she watched me watch him walk away. Later that night in the kitchen, Mia said "I am really sorry for just assuming there was something more with you and Leon." I said "He's just my friend.... I don't have very many. I don't want you to scare him away if he finds out I have a crush on him. He'll just think I'm some immature high school girl or something." I was really milking this lie to get Mia to leave the conversation alone. She said "I wasn't going to say anything either way, I just thought it was cute you have a little crush on him, but I am sorry for the way I approached the topic." She walked off and I started to feel bad for reacting the way that I did. Mia also has a knack for manipulating in some ways, and she can play with her words to make you feel however she wants you to feel. In this circumstance, it was guilt, and it worked. However, on the other hand I don't see why she even felt the need to bring it up in the first place, especially in a situation where anyone could overhear the conversation. Also, what does she mean she thinks it's cute that I have a crush on Leon? Would she think the same if she knew Leon had a crush on me too? Or if there was an actual secret intiate relationship going on between us? Probably not. So, the thought of that made me even more vexed. She knows there's an age difference, although it isn't drastic, it's still an age difference and I'm not eighteen. That's literally the only thing keeping us from being together, so the fact that she said the crush was cute sent rage up my spine. She wouldn't think it was so cute if the roles were reversed and knew Leon, the twenty year old liked me too.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:

I went up to my room to lay down, and try to get myself over this sudden hatred for Mia, and then there was a knock at my door. I open it and it was Leon, and oddly enough, for once I wasn't expecting him because he usually doesn't come into my room this late at night so the suspicions of us being together don't rise, so it kind of threw me off a little bit. He said "Can I come in? I knocked this time." I laughed and said "Of course." As he walks in he sits down in the bean bag chair still in the middle of the room where Letty left it and he looked a little off. Something was bugging him but I'm not sure what it could be. He seemed fine a few hours ago. I sat down on the floor next to him and asked "Is everything okay?" He didn't make eye contact with me and instead, continued to look down at his feet and responded "It's just that... I... Never mind." I sat there puzzled because I didn't know what to do or how to respond. It's ususally him talking to me when I'm down and I'm rarely ever in these kinds of positions for anyone. He changed the subject though and asked "What are you up to tonight?" I said "this," as I pull my sketchbook off the desk of a drawing I was working on earlier today that I was legitimately planning on finishing tonight. He said "Looks nice." I said "Thanks." The awkward tension seemed a bit more heavy as the conversation didn't seem real and I can tell something was seriously wrong with him. He seemed very down, just by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, and his dead eyesight; staring at nothing and avoiding eye contact. I asked him "Are you sure everything's okay?" I wasn't expecting a genuine answer, but I asked just so he would get the hint that I'm aware something is really bugging him. He didn't respond right away, but instead he got up and started walking to the door, I was assuming he was going to leave, but he closed the door and stayed in my room. At this point I was anxious, not because Leon made me uncomfortable in any way, but because I have no idea where this is going and I don't like being put in the middle of situations right off the bat that could potentially go wrong. Not implying that this particular situation could go wrong, because I was content with Leon's prescence, I just was unsure about the motives at this point, and just him being in my room this late at night to begin with has already thrown me off. Leon reached for my hand and pulled me up from the floor as he sat down on my TV stand so we could be more eye-to-eye. He said "I've been thinking a lot lately." I didn't know what that meant even though I think I'm starting to get the idea. I didn't respond, and he grabbed both of my hands and rested them in his lap. He continued and said "I've been thinking about you." My heart started to flutter a mile a minute and I said "oh," simply because I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to respond because I wasn't expecting this at all. He continued and said "Ever since that night when you.. You know... I couldn't help but think to myself what if he had killed you? Or kidnapped you? All these scenarios kept playing in my head of what could've happened that night, and they all ended with "what if I never see you again?" I couldn't bare even the thought of that. I really, really like you. That night made me realize that we aren't promised two more years, we're not even promised tomorrow. Anything could happen between now and the next few hours. All I know is that.... I can't wait two more years, Lacey...." My heart felt like it was seriously about to beat out of my chest. Leon is basically implying that he can't wait two more years and that could only mean two possible things: either, he's basically saying lets get together now, or that we shouldn't be together at all. The vibe is leaning more towards the first possible outcome though. Leon slowly gazed his eyes to meet mine and I started to lean in closer as he grabbed my waist, but before we could kiss Leon's phone rang which caused me to jump. I read the caller ID and it said Vince. You have got to be kidding me right now! Is Vince a fucking psychic or something? It just infuriates me that of course Vince would be the one to interrupt us. The universe is playing games with me. I saw Leon's face grow with frustration as he sighed heavily and answered the phone. He said "What?" In a very monotone, but angry voice. He sighed even heavier and said "OK," then he hung up. He stood up and stared at me for a few short moments and said "I have to go." I said "I figured." He said "Can I come back later?" I just shook my head yes. Moments later I lay in my bed trying to wonder whether that really just took place or did I unknowningly take drugs that made me hallucinate? I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up later by Leon asking me to scoot over. I obviously didn't hesitate. He laid down next to me and I gave it a few moments before I decided to try anything just to see if he would first. I was surprised that he didn't. I wasn't expecting it or anything. I was just nervous. I saw Leon as this very experienced guy who doesn't know that I'm not so experienced. Was he expecting me to have superb sexual performance? Would I literally embarrass myself? After a little while of him not trying anything I thought that maybe he just assumed I was tired or something since I fell asleep while waiting on him. When I really fell asleep only so that time would go by faster instead of anxiously waiting and staring at the clock as the slow minutes passed. I fell asleep again while waiting on him to make the first move, because obviously at this point, nothing is going to happen unless I make that call and I was too damn scared to do so. A few hours later I woke up and was surprised to see him still laying next to me. I figured he would honestly just leave. I sat up and watched him sleep for a few short moments. Not in a creepy way, but in awe to his profound beauty, and that he was actually sleeping in my bed next to me and that this was really happening. I thought long and hard about the next move I should make, but regardless of how long and hard I thought about it, the more I felt myself trying to talk myself out of it. It was ultimately going to be a tough decision to make regardless of how much thought I put into it. So I decided to clear my head and just go for it. I slightly tap his shoulder and say his name to get his attention, and as he was waking up, I sat on his lap and carressed his torso while I worked my way up to his lips. His hands moved slowly down my back to my waist as our tongues steadily locked with each other. I sat up and took my top off as he watched in admiration. He saw my tattoo and the nipple piercings for the first time and let out a big smile and jokingly said "So, that's what you got going on under there." I just smiled playfully back at him then he asked "So what do you wanna do?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I figured you would just take over at this point." He sat up with me still in his lap and began to kiss me again, as he worked his way down to my nipples, and he sucked on those for awhile. Then he put his right hand in my hair and gently tugged back, as he worked his way back up to my neck. Afterwards, he made eye contact with me and asked "Are you sure you really want to do this?" I whispered back to him "Don't you want it to?" After that Leon bit his lip and flipped me over to my back without reluctance. I felt so numb to the rest of the world. In this very moment, it was just me and him. No problems existed. Worry free, and careless. In this moment, we were in our own euphoric little world. As it came time for the actual intercourse part, I remembered just how inexperienced I am and I increasingly grew nervous again. It was finally the moment where Leon would see that I'm not as adept as I may portray myself to be. After all, I did make the first move and it was pretty bold. Therefore, he may be expecting that I have at least some experience. I've mentioned this before, but the kid whom I technically lost my virginity to only stuck it in once, broke my cherry and pulled it right back out immediately. The only experience I've had since then was with myself. I've stuck fingers in there quite a few times, but my tiny fingers couldn't compare to Leon's gurth. As he was about to slide it in, I panicked and said "Wait, no, stop." He looked confused and shocked and said "Is everything okay?" I said "Yeah..." He sat there for a moment and then asked "Lacey, are you... Are you a virgin?" I said "Not exactly..." He asked "What's that supposed to mean?" I began to explain to him the story of my first time and he said "That really sucks. I'm sorry he treated you that way." I said "It's okay, I guess. Nobody's first time is... Enjoyable, right?" He smirked and said "Not really." Then I confessed to him the reason I didn't tell him and said "I thought you might not want to do anything with me if you knew that I'm not... Experienced." Leon said "That's nonsense. I like you Lacey. I like you, for you, and I truly never compliment girls unless I feel they truly deserve them. I hate to sound so blunt and kind of like a dick, but if sex was all I wanted I could've easily called Monica, or one of her slutty friends and gotten laid without even taking them out to dinner first. My point is, I wouldn't have acted this nice, or worked this much to get to this moment if sex was all I wanted in the first place. Especially when there's girls I don't even have to work for at all. I really like you. I want more than just sex from you. I don't mind that you're inexperienced, it's okay. I'll just go slower than I intended." Then he paused for a short moment and asked "Do you want to continue tonight?" I shook my head yes, and he proceeded. He coached me through the entire experience until I had an orgasm. It was the greatest one I've ever experienced. I've never felt my body tingle so much before. As I was climaxing Leon put his hand over my mouth to keep me from being too loud, but something about that I really liked, and not just because of the fact that it kept me from screaming and waking everybody up. Afterwards even touching my clit made me jump slightly because it was that sensitive at the moment. Leon lays down next to me and I asked him if he came and he shook his head no. I felt a little disappointed but then again, I came really fast, we weren't even going for longer than two minutes. Leon said "Don't worry about it. Tonight's not about me. It's about you." I said "I feel embarassed though. Why?" He said "I have no idea, but don't be. As a guy it's my job to get you to cum as many times as possible before I do." I smirked really big, and he began to ask questions about what experience I did have, which is barely any at all. He asked "So what all have you done before this?" I said "Nothing really." He asked "Have you ever been fingered?" I responded with "yes," then he asked "Do you finger yourself?" I laughed and said "Sometimes. I usually just rub the clit." Leon then asked "Have you ever been eaten out?" I responded with a "no," and Leon looked offended for me. He said "I feel like that ex-boyfriend of yours is lowkey gay and doesn't want to admit it." The conversation proceeded and he asked "So what all have you done to guys?" I said "Just a handjob." He said "So you never... You know..." I said "What? Sucked dick?" He shook his head 'yes' and I said "My ex-boyfriend always wanted me to, but he would like try to force it, and I didn't want to do it if it was forced, plus I was nervous about doing it in the first place so him forcing me to didn't make it easier." I confessed something as if it was so bawdy to say "But, I've practiced on banannas." Leon laughed and said "That's funny, but I'm sorry your ex-boyfriend was such an asshole." I said "It doesn't bother me anymore. I was young and dumb, and naive, and vulnerable. He knew that, and took advantage of that, but that's what opened my eyes and made me realize I shouldn't do things unless I want to." Leon asked "So he pressured you into losing your virginity?" I looked down and said "Yeah, pretty much. He had a way of making me feel guilty or like I did something wrong if I refused." He said "Lacey, that's lowkey rape." I said "Yeah, I guess." After a long pause he sighed and started to rub my stomach as I laid on my back and asked if I was ready to go again. I sat up and shook my head yes and said "But I want to try something first." He asked "What?" I said "I want to.... Try.. Sucking your dick." Leon laughed, probably at how innocent and inexperienced I sound saying that and then he sat up and said "Lacey, it's not necessary. Don't do it unless you really want to." I said "I do. I really want to. If any dick is ever going to be in my mouth I'd want it to be yours. Besides, you're not forcing it." Leon kind of chuckled and said "Are you sure?" I shook my head yes. I have no idea what made me want to do this, it really was a spontaneous desicion, but so was this whole situation and if I'm gaining experience here, I might as well gain as much as I can. As I get on my knees and Leon stands there towering over me, I start to get nervous as it was about to go down so I cleared my head and just went with it. I started sucking just the tip and realized it wasn't that bad and then I looked up to Leon and the look on his face looked as if he was really enjoying this so I thought to myself that I must be doing it right. I mean, there wasn't really a way you could fuck something as simple as this up, right?  Leon looked down at me and said "I wanna see how far down you can go." So I went down as I would on the bananas that I practiced on for this very moment. I didn't gag at all and I was able to go all the way down. This made Leon nearly estatic. I found it very odd that I didn't have a gag reflex when I would suck on bananas.. and dicks, but if something disgusting like nasty food was in my mouth I would suddenly have a gag reflex. That's exactly what happened when Leon came in my mouth, I gagged, but I swallowed it. Leon said "I'm sorry, I really should've asked if you ready for... That part." I laughed and said "It's okay."

[makadelikz]

the fast life updated 10/07/2016

The Fast Life Dear Diary…. I’m only fifteen years old and I know way more about the ‘street life’ than I should. I was raised into it so I had no choice, it’s all I know. I’ve tried to blend in with the normal girls my age at my school, but it never works. I’m sure it’s mostly because there’s no common interest. I pretty much like to sit back and watch things unfold. I’m very observant, but because of that I’m very quiet, and being the quiet kid with no friends in high school instantly makes you the loser. I didn’t mind the name calling, and I didn’t mind having no friends because I had a family. Well, the closest thing to a family I’ve ever known. The only blood I know is my older brother, he’s hard-headed, short-tempered, but he guided me and taught me everything I know. I’m still very ignorant when it comes to ‘that life’ but that’s because my older brother doesn’t really want this life for me so he only teaches me how to be observant and catch people in lies, and ironically how to be a good liar. He always says “it will come in handy for any and every situation.“ He wants me to be something successful and earn an honest living like a doctor or lawyer or something, but he and I both know that’s just wishful thinking. He always tells me "You’re too smart to go down my road.” It kind of makes me feel like shit sometimes because the guy who doesn’t really give a fuck about anything gives a fuck about me. I’m starting to think I’m literally the only thing he does care about, besides our “family.” My biological parents were the definition of dead beat. I would like to blame everything on them, but that’s just stupid. They play a role in every major mental scar I have, but other than that, it’s not really their fault my brother and I ended up this way. We could’ve bettered ourselves, we had the potential. In fact, we all had the potential, we just chose the easy way of life, but the easy way of life comes with the hardest consequences that are sometimes too hard to bear.

CHAPTER ONE:

Who am I kidding? Why am I even trying to write in a diary right now? I think that was the girliest thing I’ve ever done. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, but it’s easier to explain everything going on in my mind on paper, and of course there’s really no one else I can talk to anyway. I’m at a very stressful age, and the life I’ve been raised in doesn’t make the stress much easier. I’m only fifteen so my family pretty much sugar coats everything. I know that they’re up to nothing legal, that’s pretty obvious, but of course I’m spared the details. There’s Dominic, who is the alpha wolf, the pack leader. Whatever you want to call it. He calls the shots, and the rest follow. He’s praised in the streets, from Echo Park to Northern Cali, people know his name. Then there’s Dom’s sister Mia, she’s seemingly innocent but she’s played a hand in everything also, only because she’s loyal to family. She doesn’t necessarily agree with what her brother does for the most part, but if any cop or anyone outside the family starts asking questions she’s down to lie and create a false alibi. Then there’s Letty, the bad ass tomboy that any girl (or guy even) would be foolish to mess with. She’s Dom’s girlfriend, always by his side when they go on “runs.” Vince is my older brother. He’s ten years older than me so he basically raised me. Vince and Dom met in the third grade, they’ve been lifelong friends and Vince is loyal to him. Vince is very stubborn though and often loses his temper very quickly. He is known as the short fuse to everyone who’s ever met him. The only people he gives a damn about is us, everyone else he just looks at as if they were garbage. When it comes to family however, Vince is very caring. He has a difficult way of showing it sometimes, but he would take a bullet for any one of us. He’s also had a crush on Mia since high school so he really hates outsiders who hit on her, even though Mia makes it pretty clear that she would never date one of her brother’s friends. Vince respects that, but that doesn’t change his feelings for her. It’s sometimes painful to watch. Jesse is the sweetest person out of all of us. He’s down with 'that life’ but if you didn’t know that you would never assume that, although he’s still pretty ignorant about the street rules in most cases as well. He knows his way around an engiene and has his knack of computer hacking, so that was basically his promised initiation. Jesse joined the 'fam’ when I was ten years old and he has been here since. Then there’s Leon, there’s so much I could say about him but I’ll spare the mushy details. He joined the crew two years ago when he was eighteen years old. He’s a drifter. He traveled from place to place stayed for a few months then left. He had no real friends or family before us. I don’t know what made him stay but I’m glad he did. He and I don’t really have the closest relationship which is odd since we all live in the same house. I mean we talk and everything, but only in group dicussions, we never had a genuine personal conversation. But why would we? Why would he want to hang out with a fifteen year old girl, who doesn’t really have anything intresting to talk about anyway? I don’t even know his favorite color. It’s not that he doesn’t talk much, he just doesn’t like to talk about personal things. Took us all about a year to figure out his birthday when Dom made a comment about how we celebrated everyone else’s birthday that year except for his. He didn’t tell us his birthday because he said he’s used to people not knowing or giving a fuck. He’s never had a real birthday party. Took us six months after that to figure out where he was even initially from before he began drifting. Every time we have talked though he seemed like a very nice guy, and Dom obviously trusts him and likes him otherwise he wouldn’t have been around this long. Same vice versa.  My brother and Leon have grown very close. Vince is Dom’s right hand man, but Leon is Vince’s. Funny how that works. Oh yeah, and then there’s… Me. There’s really nothing more about me that I could say. I’m kind of… Just there. No one really asks me for things, no one really talks to me about things. I mean it’s not like I put any effort into talking to them either but my mentality plays a major role in that. I always think to myself “well if they cared they would ask” and I always just assume no one cares because no one asks and I leave it at that. I keep to myself though for the most part so I don’t really care. I know what people outside our family think about us because I hear it in school and on the streets. There’s people who think Dom is the coolest, and they want to be just like him, winning every race, and having that major street cred. Then there’s the naysayers who call us dysfunctional, and deliquents. To me though, despite how distant I feel from them half of the time, this is my family and I love them. They’re all I have, and they’re the only people I would ever trust. I would stand up for them even if I didn’t know exactly what I was defending, which is the case most of the time. I know they race, which is pretty evident because of their cars. That’s about the only thing they talk about, but even racing isn't talked about in so many explicit details. They attend Race Wars every month, which was actually an event created by Dom. I’m guessing that’s why he’s so popular on the streets. Anyways, the only time I don’t feel distant from them is on Sundays. Dom is very big on family and he carries the traits of his father, who I actually used to call grandpa when I was younger. Every Sunday after church Dom’s father would have a BBQ for everyone in the neighborhood, only if they went to church though. Dom’s father looked out for me and Vince as much as he could.  So now every Sunday, we have “Sunday Dinner.” The rest of the world, and the rest of our problems, even if they’re with each other do not matter on Sunday evenings. We will all sit, say grace, and eat food. Kind of funny how things like that work, to everyone else we’re dysfunctional deliquents, but to us, we’re family.

CHAPTER TWO:

After school I help Mia out at the cafe. It’s family owned, of course. Dom inherited it from his father, he also inherited “Torretto’s Auto Repair.” By day the boys, and Letty, are working in the garage, and Mia and I run the cafe. Very good fronts too, makes us look as if all the money we earn is from an honest living. The others will stop by after they close the garage or when they’re on lunch. Honestly, it’s the only part of the day I look forward to. Mostly because I get to see Leon. Just see him though, we never do much talking. I find my obvious attraction to him pretty awkward though. I mean we hardly know each other on a personal level. That and he’s four years older than me, but he acts way older than nineteen (almost twenty) sometimes I actually forget that he is really only four years older than me. To him I’m just Vince’s little sister. Well, that’s pretty much what I am to everyone, like I said, everyone knows Dom, so everyone knows Dom’s crew as well. Since Vince is Dom’s right hand man, it’s pretty much a sacred rule not to fuck with him either. So just being Vince’s little sister has pretty much prevented every fight I’ve almost been in at school. Nobody wants that kind of trouble. Not that I think my brother would actually harm a teenage girl (or boy) for harming me, but I’ll let them think it if it saves my ass. “Hey Lacey, can you do me a favor and stock the shelf over there with more chips?” Mia interrupts my daydreams. I don’t have a problem with doing it at all, but being in my head is the best place I know. Being snapped out of it to do something such as stock a stupid shelf is pretty annoying. I would never take it out on her though. Mia is the person I’m probably the closest with at least as of recently. I mean there’s my brother, but some of the things Mia and I have talked about since I began helping out here are things I could literally never talk about with my brother. Mostly because it’s been girly things, but our talks really haven’t been genuine anyway because I keep a lot of shit to myself. The thought of even talking about half of this girly stuff with Mia, let alone Vince, is kind of fucking awkward. I remember being little though and walking around the Torretto house in Mia’s shoes that definitely were too substantial for me. I’ve practically lived here before I actually did live here. Mia would braid my hair and tell me stories, paint my nails, you know, girly shit. I admired her. I wanted to be just like her when I got older, but now, I don’t even want to be myself half of the time. Still wouldn’t trade this life for anything though simply because these people are priceless. No amount of anything could ever replace any of them. As I’m stocking the shelf, I hear a too familiar sound. The sound of street racing cars, but only the finest for Torretto’s crew. One by one they enter the cafe greeting Mia. I thought to myself “Am I really this fucking invisible to everybody?” But then out of nowhere, the unexpected happened, Leon fucking says hi to me and asked me for a bag a chips from the box and told me not to tell Mia, even though Mia already knows, especially since she looked right over at him and gave him 'the stare.’ She just hates re-doing the inventory and everyone knows that. “What kind do you want?” There were only two different kinds to choose from that were left in the box, but I wanted to cling on to the conversation for as long as I possibly could. “Uh, I think I’m gonna go with the Frito’s today.” I handed him the chips and he walked off. Best twenty seconds of the day. I know this sounds fucking pathetic, but I’m only a fifteen year old girl who never had a real relationship exactly and this is my first real die-hard crush on a guy, so what do you expect? My brother walks over to me shortly afterward, I already knew his favorite kind of chips, he gets the same kind every day. I handed him the bag and he said “Thanks Lacey, but that’s not the only reason I came over here. I got you something.” He pulls something out of his pocket and it’s a jewelry box with a necklace inside. “I remember you telling me you wanted this necklace so I ordered it online and had it shipped to the garage.” I was shocked because I wasn’t expecting this, but also because I never thought he would even remember that I fucking said that. I just brought up the necklace to break awkward silence in the car ride home when he picked me up from school about a month ago. I hugged him so tightly, and it was the most genuine hug we’ve shared in quite awhile. I don’t know what made him have such a good mood today, but I am thankful for whatever it was because Vince hasn’t been like this for a few months. I was starting to think that he didn’t have an ounce of compassion left in him. I was starting to think none of them had any compassion left in them. Sunday dinners were getting quieter and quieter. I put the necklace on. It was a shiny gold lock-it, I’m surprised Vince remembered that I prefer gold over silver. The state of contentment quickly faded when I realized that, there’s really no one or anything special that comes to mind that would even be inside this necklace. I mean, of course there is my family, but that’s cliche and just a given because they’re really all I know and there’s two sides. Who or what would go on the other side? The satisfaction faded even faster when I remembered how expensive this necklace was, and I knew there was no way Vince could afford something like this and still have tons of money leftover by just doing brake checks, and tune ups. Even the overall family money earned from just the garage and the cafe wouldn’t be enough to just blow money everyday, especially with bills for the house, garage, and cafe combined. Plus, there’s a least ten-thousand dollars under the hood of each of their cars, and that's just under the hood and not the entirety of the car itself. It’s pretty obvious that they have a source of income from something else as well. I always just kept my mouth shut though, because it wasn’t really important to me at the time, nor was it my business.

CHAPTER THREE:

The unwanted sound of my alarm clock woke me up. Time for school! Only the enthusiasm part of that is nothing but sarcastic. I had to wake up even earlier than necessary just to have enough time to convince myself to even go, that and to get ready. I do my hair, makeup, teeth brushed, all the usual shit. The worst part was the stupid uniform. Plaid skirt, stupid tie, stupid vest, stupid buttoned up white collared shirt, stupid knee high socks, and stupid shoes. Oh and if we didn’t want to wear the vest we had to wear the shirt with the school logo on it, or the jacket. Having half of my closet filled with identical clothing irritated me so much. Reminded me of a cartoon character and how in every episode they would be in the same exact outfit. The only thing about the outfit that can be modified was the shoes, as long as they were all black. I think what I hated about all this the most was that I fell into a routine, as if I was living the same day over and over again, and it didn’t help that five days out of the week, I had to wear identical clothing as the previous day. It sounds like I’m complaining, I know. Most people in this world have this exact description for their life. The nine to five grind. I don’t want that though, and I know damn well that we don’t have that, I just want to be apart of whatever it is that they do. Today at school they’re handing out progress reports during every English or reading class. A progress report pretty much shows you what your grade in every class is, and tells you that you have a couple weeks to improve or maintain your grade before report cards are finalized and mailed out to your homes. I knew I was going to have a horrible grade in math, and some pretty bad grades in other classes too, but none that would fail me. It wasn’t that I didn’t get the material, except for Algebra, that class is literally gibberish to me, but for the rest of my classes it’s just that I didn’t care. I had no motivation whatsoever to even pretend to care, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed. I’ve been called to talk one-on-one with every single teacher I have, nearly every day, and that isn’t an exaggeration. Today, my history teacher pulled me aside after class and said “Lacey, I’m sure you know what we’re going to talk about.” I said “I know, it’s my grade. You gave me a D.” He said “I didn’t gve you anything less than what you deserved. I don’t understand Lacey, you get the material. Everything you have turned in has practically a perfect grade every time. The problem is getting you to turn in every assignment. The ones you do turn in aren’t even on time, which takes points off, which brings your grade down even more. You’re smart, you really are, but you concern me, last year you were impeccable, and I even considered putting you in my honors class, but this year you’ve let me down.” I almost felt like shit, but Mr. Klaskow isn’t anyone special to me. However, his lecture definitely didn’t settle right in my head, especially when he said he’s going to have to contact a “parent” for a conference. I screamed internally. I said “Please don’t! I’ll change my attitude around, I promise.” It’s not that I was scared, but it’s just hard explaining to teachers why my brother is listed as my Guardian, and why my parents are basically non-existing. Also, Vince would not be happy about coming down to the school, simply because he hates explaining why he is my Guardian as well. He feels like it’s really no one’s business. Ultimately, it’s because the school raises red flags for students who don’t live in what society deems as a normal, funcational household. There would literally be a little red flag symbol next to my name in the school’s system to signify that I’m what they call an “at risk youth” simply because I don’t live in a traditional household. So basically, every teacher and school counselor will poke their noses where it doesn’t belong and begin to ask a lot of questions that they don’t need to be asking. This is why I switched schools, because I was flagged at my old school as an “at risk youth” and the school guidance counselor didn’t “believe me” when I said my home life is absolutely fine, so she sent The Department of Children and Families to my house with a social worker who wanted to place me in foster care. Surprisingly, Vince won the trial by having a fantasic lawyer who’s name was Saul, I believe, who actually came all the way from New Mexico. Apparently Leon knew him and hooked Vince up, and they convinced the jury that simply living in a house that doesn’t have a mother or father doesn’t mean it’s dysfunctional, and that I still get all the love and care a child needs. Anyways, Mr. Klaskow sighed really long and hard, but he said “Lacey you have three weeks to prove your statement true, but I will make sure I talk to all of your teachers as well and make sure you’re improving in every class, not just mine.” I literally wasn’t expecting this answer, but thank you Mr. Klaskow, partly genuine, partly sarcastic. Why did he have to continue with "but I’m going to talk to all of your teachers as well?” I went straight home after school because Mia texted me and told me there wasn’t much to help out with at the cafe for today. I sat down on the couch, and basically mimicked my teacher’s sigh.  I thought to myself “How in the hell am I going to improve in math? The rest will be easy, but math!? Why did Mr. Klaskow say he would talk to all of my teachers? Why can’t he just worry about HIS class?!?!“ I pulled out my Algebra textbook and sat at the coffee table and almost wanted to cry because I could feel my brain pulsating into a migraine by trying to force myself to understand something that appears as hieroglyphics to my eyes. It’s literally a foreign language to me. It’s easily compared to the cashier who always tries to talk to me in Spanish at the Latin Market down the street. Can’t he tell I don’t fucking understand? The only reason I go in there is because Mexican soda is to die for. Leon walks out of the kitchen and it startled me inside because I didn’t think anyone was home. He said "I heard you sighing in the kitchen. You sound pretty stressed. You okay?” I literally stared at him for half a second before responding. I said “Umm, yeah…. (sighs) No.. I don’t fucking get this shit.” He giggled. I looked up at him to read his body language to see if he was being playful, or being a dick. I could tell by his smile he was being playful, but I wasn’t in the mood, yes not even for Leon. I said “What’s so funny?” He said “Relax, I’m just playin’.  You know I could help you if you want? Algebra and History are the only two subjects I was ever actually good in. Failed the rest. Well, I failed the rest just because I never wanted to do the work, and I never went to school, but I understood it to an extent.” I looked up in shock not only because he offered to help me, which means one-on-one time with Leon, which I’ve been practically dreaming about, but because he said he’s excellent at algebra. I guess I thought longer than I needed to with my response because then he said “Well……?” I said “That would be amazing. I need to learn this in three weeks.” He said “I could teach you this shit in a day.” He sat down on the ground next to me, I could literally hear him breathe he was so close, but I didn’t mind. He said “So where are we starting?” I just looked up and smiled. Involuntary I guess, but I just couldn’t contain the excitement I felt.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The tutoring has been going on for a month now. I’m not using him just to keep him around though, I have actually learned algebra, but each new chapter is still confusing, but less confusing thanks to Leon. My grades did improve, and Mr. Klaskow never called my brother to arrange a conference. It has been pleasent having Leon around me every day after school though. I started asking for help in almost every subject just to keep him around longer. Okay, I confessed. I am looking for excuses to keep him around longer, and the bonus is the grades I’m getting. I know that it seems like I was using him just because I had a little crush on him, but honestly I knew that the crush was never going to go anywhere anyway, and it’s certainly not like he’ll ever know, because that means I would have to tell him. He’s also way older and more mature than me. I genuinely just kept him around because I liked the company, I liked feeling like I had a “friend.” He didn’t even mind tutoring me, It’s like he looked forward to it. I know I certainly did.   Today we were in the middle of our tutoring session, and I was literally too deep in trying to figure out the answer to a problem that for a split second I forgot Leon was actually right there analyzing my work. He asked me a question, which made me completely lose track of what I was doing within this multi-step equation. I didn’t mind though because the question made me feel very worhty, and pleasent for a short second, but then I remembered the reality behind the answer to that question. It was such a simple question, but a question that nobody has asked me for a few years now. The question was “How are you feeling?” I know it was probably in refrence to the tutoring because we’ve actually studied longer than usual today, but that question alone has an endless list for me. I could go on and on about how I’m feeling Leon, do you really want to go there? I didn’t actually ask him that though. To be honest I’m pretty good at coming up with bullshit answers to avoid confrontation right on the spot, but today, right now, I couldn’t. I just blankly stared at him and then looked down and said “I don’t know.” He said “Hey, are you alright? Is there something you want to tallk about?” In my head I’m screaming isn’t that obvious? But I just look back at him trying to contain my emotions and said “no,” as in there’s nothing I want to talk about, but my voice fucking cracked! Of course it did. Now he knows I’m lying, and now he’s going to poke at this until he gets a straight answer, but contrary to my belief he just looked at me and said “I know that’s a lie, but I’m not going to make you talk about something you don’t want to talk about, but just know that you’re not alone, and I will literally sit with you for hours and hours and talk with you about anything you need to talk about.” I saw genuine compassion for the first time in his bright green eyes, and it was for me. A fucking tear came down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away and pretended like that didn’t just happen, I didn’t even feel like I was on the verge of tears, thank you body for signaling me like you’re supposed to! He obviously saw it though. I know he did, he just sympathetically touched my shoulder and closed my text book and said “we can be done for today,” and he softly smiled and walked away. I literally went straight to my room, and threw my face into the pillow and lost myself. I cried for hours. Why was I being so emotional? Oh, because that was first time in such a long time that anyone in the house actually cared about what was on my mind, and how I was feeling.  I’ve prepared for this moment for awhile. What I would say. I would be straight-forward and tell them that I hate being excluded and that I’m not an idiot, but why couldn’t I do that today? I literally thought I could write a dissertation about how I feel, but when it came down to it I choked up. I’m a fucking mess. Now, I know I'm probably overreacting just a tad, but coming from feeling like you're all alone in the world to instantly seeing someone that you actually fancy show concern for you, is pretty overwhelming. Later that night while eating dinner at the dining room table everyone was quiet for the most part, but that was beginning to become a usual thing. Oddly enough Leon is the one who starts conversation. He’s been a lot more chatty lately. It feels almost as if that he’s finally genuinely content with us, and being around us. As I mentioned before, Leon was a drifter. He didn’t stay in places for a long time. This has been the longest he’s stayed anywhere since the moment he began drifting. Kind of pleasing to know that Leon feels like he has a place to refer to as home. Out of all people Leon could talk to though, he initiated conversation with me. You would think this is something I would want, and a few weeks ago it’s something I literally would hope for, but after what happened earlier today this is not something I want right now at all. All the attention will be on me, which is also something I’ve been hoping for, but now that I got it the feeling is a bit too uneasy for me. “So, Lacey…. You really never talk during dinner. Why is that?” Leon asked. It’s almost as if he’s testing me, and it’s kind of irritating. I said “Well, no one ever really talks to me.” He said, “Well lets all play would you rather” I gave him such a puzzled expression. Usually I can read people like a book, I can predict literally almost every move or motive from a person, but Leon is a different story. A book that’s in a different language. This is definitely not something I was expecting, even Vince laughed at his request but Jesse said he’s down to do it, and Mia said “That sounds like fun, we haven’t had a family game night in ages.” Vince continued to laugh and said “…Alright…” in a tone as if he wasn’t really into it but he didn’t want to be the only one not playing. Leon looked directly at me and it was as if he smiling through his eyes. I don’t know if I’m infuriated or bewildered. Did he do this to piss me off? It certainly feels like it but at the same time, Leon never striked me as the kind of person who would actually do that intetionally. Especially not after today when he seemed so compassionate towards me. What is he doing exactly? A few hours after dinner Vince, Dom and Letty left. They of course didn’t say where they were going but I’m sure it was nothing vigorous. Jesse and Mia were asleep. I looked out the window and watched the others leave but then noticed Leon’s car was still in the driveway. I went looking for him and found him in the backyard. I said “So what was that for?” he looked as if he was taken aback by my question he said “What was what for?” I said “You know, the whole thing you pulled tonight at dinner.” He said “Lacey, I didn’t pull anything. I thought you realized what my objective was.” Now I’m the one that’s dumbfounded. I asked him “What do you mean?” He said “My plan was to get them to talk to you, and ask you questions. You said no one really ever talks to you, but tonight, every single one of them did.” I was kind of pleased with his answer, still a bit confused though. I said “Why would you rather though?” He said “It’s one of my favorite games. You can get way more creative with would you rather as opposed to twenty questions. Plus, when you put someone on the line and give them two scenarios and two choices, you can tell a lot about that person simply by which outcome they…. Would rather. No matter how silly or simple the question.” It took me a minute to settle with what he said but it was honestly the best thing I’ve ever heard him say. I sat down near him on the back steps and asked something I probably shouldn’t have and said “Why didn’t you go with Vince, Dom and Letty? You usually do.” He said “Because I don’t have to……” I left it at that and was quiet for a minute, I wanted to initiate conversation but at the same time my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Leon interrupted the silence and said “Sorry if that sounded abrupt, I didn’t mean for it to. It’s just that I don’t need to go with them all the time, sometimes, I just like to rest…..” I smiled and said “Why do you always have toothpicks in your mouth?” It was such a dumb question, I know, but I wanted to switch the topic. He laughed and said “What an odd question, but I like it, I like odd,” and he continued with “and I don’t always have a toothpick.” We both started laughing. Then he said “I used to smoke cigarettes. Nearly a pack a day. I quit cold turkey. One of the things that I picked up instead of a cigarette was a toothpick. It’s the habit of constantly having something in my hand that was hard to kick. I also started chewing gum. Not nicotine gum, but regular gum, but toothpicks kind of just stuck. Every time I felt the urge I would just chew on a toothpick until it passed. The irony is that now I have a toothpick addiction.” We both chuckled at the ironic outcome of the toothpicks, but the conversation kind of dropped there when Mia opened the door and asked me to help her do the dishes. Leon smiled at me and said “Talk to you tomorrow.”

CHAPTER FIVE:

Dear DIary…. Why am I writing in this dumb book? Why am I writing as if anyone is actually reading this other than me? I honestly never thought I would be this girly, but here I am writing in a journal and addressing it as my diary. It’s honestly stress relieving though. Anyways, since I’m here I might as well talk about my life the past few months since it’s been that long since I’ve last written in here. Leon and I have developed a very odd friendship, but a friendship to say the least. Most of our conversations are short, the longest time we spend together talking is about school related sutff. Nothing other than that has been exciting lately. Nothing out of the oridinary. Dom, Vince, Letty, Jesse and Leon still go on… night adventures. That’s what I like to call them. They leave late at night, and usually don’t come back until about 6AM, of course I still don’t know what they’re up to, and when it comes to that I’m completely out of the loop. I just know that every time they leave Mia gets upset, but in a way where she knows she can’t do anything about whatever is bothering her so she just lets it go. Today is Leon’s birthday. We haven’t actually celebrated his birthday since we’ve known him. I don’t want to push it, but I do want to surprise him since he’s never had a real birthday party. I bought him a cake, but my excuse will be because of all the help he’s given me with tutoring, that’s if he doesn’t appreciate the fact that I’m attempting to celebrate his birthday. I’m sure he  won’t mind though… At least I hope not. I probably should've just gotten candy, because that would've been a lot easier to dismiss since Leon's birthday is three days before Halloween. I’m supposed to meet him today directly after school at his new house, yeah he moved out, which is kind of upsetting, but he told me it was only temporary, I don’t know why he moved out, all I know is that him and Vince got into a disagreement because they shared a room. I guess Leon didn’t like Vince bringing in random girls all hours of the night, at least that was my assumption. Leon said he has roommates now, which I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not really used to being around anyone that isn’t my household. I just hope they’re not home when I’m there today.

After the last bell at school rang I quickly got out of there to avoid any teachers talking to me, they haven’t lately because my grades have actually improved, but just in case. Well, that and I was eager to pick up Leon’s cake from the bakery. I don’t even like cake, but I’m hoping he does otherwise this would be a very awkward situation. I finally got the cake and got on the city bus, which is actually a pretty frightening experience for me, I hate the city bus, every time I’ve rode it by myself some creepy person always tries to talk to me. Didn’t help that I was in a school uniform which is a top porn fantasy, my school is setting girls like me up for high anxiety in risky situations. There was literally this one time this creepy older dude was pestering me and asking me if I would join him and his wife in a threesome, but I pretended that I didn't speak any English which worked a litte bit, but I think the guy could tell I was faking it. However, some random dude who overheard the pervert saved the day. Surprisingly I made it off the bus alive, and my anxiety only reached a mild point. I finally found the house Leon is staying at now and I knocked on the door. It took him a few minutes but he finally opened it, he smiled and said “Hey Lacey.” and cocked his head towards the direction of the living room and told me to come in, I said “Wait. I’ve got something for you.” He turned back around with bewilderment, and I picked up the cake that I placed on the ground next to the door so he wouldn’t notice it right away. I said “..Happy Birthday.” and I smiled at him. He just stared at the cake and back at me, he did this a few more times and now at this point my anxiety is through the roof and I’m thinking to myself damn I fucked up but he started to laugh, it was a joyous laugh, he smiled real hard and I could honestly see his eyes water, my heart was beating insanely fast. He said “Thank you so much Lacey, I wasn’t expecting this… This… This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Literally.” I wanted to start crying because I thought he was starting to get upset, but I feel accomplished now. He immediately cut out a slice and offered me a piece and I said “No thank you, I actually don’t like cake. I would’ve gotten ice cream but it would’ve melted on the bus.” He smiled and said “It’s alright. You could’ve gotten me pretzels and stuck a sticky note onto the bag that said happy birthday and I would’ve been just as pleased.” I smiled real hard. Then out of nowhere he hugs me, and kisses me on top of my head. Anxiety level went from chill to almost panic attack in less than a second. I could smell alcohol on his breath when he got close to me. I said “Leon, are you okay?” He said “No, not really. I am now, but….” He didn’t continue his thought. I said “When did you start drinking today?” He said “When I woke up at eleven. I’m sorry Lacey I know I said I would help you today, but I forgot today was my birthday until I woke up. Birthdays aren’t really an exciting day for me, they never really were. This turned into the best birthday I’ve ever had though…. Thanks to you.” That comment sent chills down my spine. Just a few months ago I felt as if Leon didn’t really even acknowledge the fact that I existed, and now according to him, I gave him the best birthday of all his twenty years of life. I said “It’s okay, you don’t have to help me today. I’m actually doing pretty good. The only reason I asked you to study today was because I wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” I sounded as if I was confessing something bawdy, like he’s a Catholic preist and I’m the sinner. He said “Honestly…. Thank you so much Lacey….. Also, if you ever need anything… Anything at all.. I know I’m not down the hall anymore but you can come over here whenever you want. I’ll be here unless I’m with Dom, and all of them.” I was almost tempted to ask him what is he does when he’s “with Dom, and all of them” but I’m having a good day, and we’re having a good moment, and I don’t want to spoil that. Maybe, I’ll ask him tomorrow since I'm getting a little bit more brave when it comes to actually talking to him. Leon drove me home so I didn’t have to ride the bus, especially now since it’s almost dark outside. He pulled up in front of the house and said “Thank you again for a great birthday, Lacey. Also, how did you even get the money for the cake? I didn’t think Mia paid you for helping out at the cafe.” She didn’t usually. She used to but hasn’t in awhile, and I’m not going to ask for money like that. It was kind of like allowance money for doing chores. However, I actually was selling stuff at school, that’s how I got the money, but I wasn’t going to answer, and I didn’t think he would ask this so I wasn’t prepared for any sort of escape route. I shot back with “How did you get the money for every modified piece for this car? Or even the car itself? I didn’t think doing brake checks, and tune ups paid for a luxury living.” He looked back at me, and he looked very shocked and didn’t say anything for a couple seconds I started to feel shitty but then he looked at me and said “Touche.” On Halloween day I overheard everyone talking in the kitchen, I heard Leon too, I stopped to hear what they were talking about, considering they thought I wasn’t around. It would be interesting to hear what would come up. At first I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned “the meet up” tonight. I’ve heard them refer to things as “the meet up” before, but I don’t know what it is. What the hell are they going to do? I ran back upstairs and called a friend of mine, the only friend I actually have, and even she is not someone I fully trust, but she lives in a different city, and I know she has a car, and I asked her if she could come visit immediately, and that we’re going to need her car tonight. I thought to myself what am I doing right now? Am I actually considering following my family just to see what it is that they do? I kept thinking of every rational excuse if I was to get caught, but I honestly couldn’t think of one, especially because I don’t even know what it is I’m about to stumble upon. Even Mia is going tonight, is it that big? Mia usually never goes with them. Only once in a blue moon. Chandler and I hung out in my room all day, I discussed the plans with her, and she said “As long you don’t get me killed I’m down for whatever.” I could hear everyone getting ready to leave, so me and Chandler snuck out the back door and ran to her car before anyone got outside, we dunked in her car so they wouldn’t see us we waited for all of them to get halfway down the road before Chandler turned her car on and began to follow. We followed them but stayed at a safe distance, we saw that there was a street blockage, but with hundreds of other street racing cars I was thinking what the fuck but Chandler said “Holy shit this looks cool.” She began to drive closer to the car “meet,” and I said “Chandler, no. Do you see all those cars? None of them look like yours, because they’re modified street racing cars. You have a 2008 Chevy Malibu. They’re going to think you’re an average person, and they’re not going to let you in. Park in the parking garage down the block that way, it’s free.” I thought to myself that was a pretty excellent point, but also I could see Leon’s car parked in one of the intersections, he was the guy blocking the road. How awkward would that have been for Chandler to casually drive up next to his yellow imported-from-Europe-1996 Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 in her used-bought-off-the-street-silver 2008 Chevy Malibu with me in the passenger seat? We walked back down towards the blockage but I said “Lets enter a different way.” So we took a right at the last intersection before the blockage, walked down the block to the next blockage of parked cars with people who weren’t even paying attention, but also people who wouldn’t recognize me.   We started blending into the crowd, but Chandler of course doesn’t exactly know the real reason we’re here. I told her the basic outline of tonight’s plans but she doensn’t exactly know why I wanted to follow my brother. She doesn’t even know what my brother looks like or anyone else in the family for that matter. She thinks that I snuck her into some kind of party and that nobody would really care if they saw me. She started to have too much fun. She was dancing with random people, and even shared a blunt with someone for like five minutes. I walked over to her and these random guys smoking blunts and said “Chandler, lets go.” I grabbed her hand seeing how she’s already high as hell and we walk through the crowd, I want to get closer to the center because that seems to be where everyone was gravitating their focus to. I got close enough. I saw my brother, Dom, Letty, Jesse, and Mia. I got there just in time to hear Dom say “Okay Hector will hold the money” and he handed this Hector a fat stack of cash. It was evident that everyone who put in the money was going to race Dom. The concept was easy to grasp. Whoever won, got the entire stack of cash and whatever else was betted. I felt uneasy, but it was starting to make sense. I thought to myself okay so they street race at least they’re not hitmen but I still felt like I was missing so much more. Dom invented this thing called Race Wars that happened once of month, but this wasn’t it. Vince took me to one of the Race War meets a couple years ago. Apparently Dom has it rigged to where it’s legal, as long as no bets are made, but seeing this, I’m sure there’s bets made under the table. I turned to talk to Chandler but she wasn’t next to me. I started freaking out, but I was mostly pissed off, because she’s been wondering off since we got here. How could she just walk away and not tell me? Also, how is she going to say "as long as you don't get me killed, I'm down for whatever" when she's the one being reckless and putting herself in sketchy positions where dangerous scenarios are more than likely to happen? We were surrounded by a lot of people, too many people, I could smell the toothpaste on some people’s breaths. She was just right next to me a few moments ago. I fought my way through the crowd to look for her, but someone grabs my arm and turns me around and my heart sank to the fucking ground. “Lacey!? What are you doing here!?” It was Leon. I was so careful, how the hell did he just happen to find me? I didn’t say anything I yanked my arm from his hand and ran away. I couldn’t find Chandler anywhere, and at this moment I was panting. I ran back to the parking garage. Chandler’s car was still parked. The cold Halloween night air was making me breathe really heavy. I had no choice but to run back and attempt to look for her. I saw Leon sitting in his car again, as if what just happened didn’t fucking happen. He seemed to be more alert though as if he was looking for me, but as if he couldn’t leave his car at the same time. I saw him talk into a walkie talkie and then next thing I knew I heard joyous screams as if the race was about to go down, I heard engienes revving, and I fought my way through all the crowds, I made my way to front of the crowd just in time to see the cars breeze right past me. They only raced a quarter mile, and Dom won. I could hear cheering, and I saw the Hector guy give Dom all the money. I still feel like this isn’t the only source of mysterious income, but at the moment that wasn’t on my mind. I couldn’t find my friend and next thing I knew I heard sirens. These things get shut down real fast apparently. Everyone scattered like roaches to their cars and headed out immediately. Cops were chasing cars left to right and even stopping pedestrians. I ran as fast as I could to the parking garage thinking that Chandler would now have enough sense to come back to her car, but she still wasn’t there. I waited for like five minutes and thought holy fuck where is she it doesn’t take that long to get here especially when you’re running because of the COPS. I ran out of the parking garage and started walking pretty fast the cops seemed to have been off chasing cars now, I heard a car screech and pull up behind me. It was Leon. He seemed angry as fuck and it scared me, I’ve never seen him this mad he said “Get in!” We didn’t say a word to each other the whole way home. During the ride he didn’t seem pissed off, just concerned. I asked “Are you going to tell Vince?” He said “No. As far as I’m concerned we’re not even having this conversation right now. If you want to tell Vince then that’s on you.” I left the conversation alone after that. We were the first ones back home, and Leon said “Thank God. Get out and run to the backdoor, make it look like you didn’t even go out tonight.” I began to ask what the huge deal was, but he cut me off, so I did exactly what he said. I ran to the back door, up to my room, changed into some gray sweatpants and a black and yellow Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt. I threw my hair up in a bun and removed my makeup. I look as if I was sleeping this entire time and I finished just in time. Gradually everyone began walking through the front door as I was peeking down from the stairs, no one sees me yet. They all walk in so casually, as if none of this even happened. As if they weren’t just being car chased by police. I went downstairs and Leon shot me this look as if he was telepathically telling me to “play it cool.” I walked up to Vince and he said “Hey what’s up Lacey. Still awake?” I said “Yeah, couldn’t sleep.”

CHAPTER SIX:

The next morning, no one is home except for Vince, I go downstairs and sit next to him on the couch. I immediately started asking him questions about last night. I gave him the opprotunity to tell me the truth, but after I asked him what he did last night he just said “What do you think I did?” I said “I don’t know that’s why I’m asking.” He said “Well, what did you and your friend do last night?” It’s like he knows I was testing him so now he’s testing me. I said “Why?” he said “Why does what I did matter?” I just sat there in silence. He said “So… Is there anything you want to tell me?” I just looked up at him and thought to myself if I tell him the truth maybe he won’t care, maybe he’ll finally keep me in the loop with everything. Plus, he’s answering my questions with questions as if he already knows exactly what I’m getting at and exactly what Chandler and I did last night. I know my brother all too well and continuing to lie isn't going to me any good because then Vince won't trust me. If Vince starts answering your questions with codenscending questions, he knows whatever it is you think you're hiding. I immediately came clean and said “I followed you last night, I saw the race and everything.” He looked at me as if he wasn’t shocked and he just bluntly said “I know. I knew this day would come. I guess I just wanted to hold on to your innocence a little longer. Next time though you better ask me so I can keep you safe. I also know that your friend wasn’t safe.” I was surprised to hear him say that. How could he have possibly known Chandler got lost or whatever happened to her? I mean, him knowing I was there wasn’t surprising, he could’ve saw me just as easily as Leon did. Or did Leon tell him? I asked “Is she okay? I’ve been trying to call and text her all morning.” He said “She lost her phone, but she’s fine. She got into a random person’s car and went to a random after party. Hector told me she saw her there after she walked up to him fucked out of her mind asking "Can you help me find Lacey Scaletta?” I’m sorry to say this Lacey, but friends like her can get you killed or locked up. I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore…. At least if I’m not around.“ I jokingly said "You technically were though,” but he just gave me 'the look’. However, I knew what he was saying was true. Chandler was too unpredictable and wild. She was a great friend when it came down to it, but in situations like last night she can’t be trusted. She could’ve gotten me or herself killed. Smoking weed, popping bottles, going home and partying with strangers, She could’ve been raped and killed. She didn’t even bother contacting me through social media to say she was okay or that she was sorry for making me freak out so badly. I said to Vince “I don’t really hang out with Chandler much anyway, she lives in Riverside. She’s just the only person I know with a car other than you guys.” He said “Hey….. You know what… How about I let you drive my car.” I said “When!? Right now? For what?” He said “Yes, and because I’m going to teach you how to drive. You’ll be sixteen in two months, I knew how to drive when I was fourteen. I’m not about to let my baby sister not know how to drive.” We started to walk outside towards his car, and I said “Wait, what else is it that you guys do? And I want the truth.” He looked at me very puzzled, but he sighed and said “Get in, I’ll explain.” I’m actually driving pretty well, and Vince said he was impressed, and I am too. I didn’t think it would be this easy, but once I got used to the small things like putting my foot on the brake to switch gears the rest came naturally. He occasionally told me to slow down or speed up but it was my first time I wasn’t quite use to the feel yet. He said “Alright pull over into that parking lot.” I recognized this place I said “Hey, isn’t this where Race Wars is at every month?” He said “Yeah, I’ve taken you here once, remember?” I said “Yes! That’s exactly why I remember this place.” He said “Pull over to the track.” Once I got there he said “Now, go as fast as you can, and when I say stop slam your foot on the brake.” I said “Are you serious?” He said “I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” So I did it and I could feel the adrenaline pump through my veins. This has honestly been one of the nicest days I’ve spent with Vince in such a long time. We started laughing directly after I slammed my foot on the break and he said “So do you really want to know what it is we do other than street racing and Race Wars?” I looked at him as if that was a dumb question and said “Yes Vince. I hate feeling like I’m entirely out of the loop, as if none of you even trust me enough to tell me.” He said “That’s just it Lacey, we have to trust you entirely before we tell you.” I said “Vince I’m your little sister. I would lie for you, I would die for you, Vince. I know it’s supposed to be the other way around, but I love you just as much as you love me, and I would die for you too. I would lie or die for any of you. You guys are all I got, do you really think I would go out and tell the world? I’ve always known you guys were up to something, I just didn’t know what it was exactly. I want to be apart of whatever it is, I want to be one of you!” He said “Alright, but it takes time, I can’t just throw you into the ring and expect you to win the fight. I have to train you. We all do. We also all have our own roles. I know you’ve seen the inside of Leon’s car, so I know you saw the police scanner, that’s evidently his role. I do the dirty work, Dom and Letty are the main shot callers basically, but they’re just body guards for me technically, and Jesse he’s the mechanic, he’s the one who makes our cars pretty much bullet proof, and he juices up our cars for races."I asked "So the races are rigged?” He said “No, that’s not what I meant. We just have an extra boost of Nitrious Oxide.” I asked “So is Dom the only one who races or do you all race?” He said “We pretty much all get our turn, but Dom mainly.” I continued to ask questions because he seemed to start holding back on answers. “So street racing is the only thing you do?” He said “No. There’s a shipping yard a few miles north. There’s a dirty inside job there, but one of the guys on the inside of that dirty job is on the inside with us. He’s basically our informant. He tells us what trucks the fake shipments are in and it’s route and we hijack it. Most of the time it’s truck loads of money, sometimes it’s money and cocaine. We thought about taking the cocaine too, but that’s not our thing, and we give our informant more share than he normally gets that’s what’s in it for him.” I asked “So do you kill the truck drivers?” Vince said “No! We don’t kill anyone. I hijack the truck, and shoot the driver with a tranq bullet, we take what we want, and we leave the truck on the side of the road, the driver eventually wakes up, but by that time we’re already long gone.” I asked “When’s the next shipment?” He laughed a little under his breath and said “That's not for you to worry about.” I said “But if you’re the one who hijacks the truck that means the rest of them are just in their cars, I can just sit with them and watch you hijack.” He said “Sit with who?” I said Leon and Vince immediately said no. I asked him what he had against Leon since the way he said no made it seem like he did have something against him, or at least something against me riding with him, and he said “I have nothing against him, I just don’t want you to go.” I begged and begged and begged, and he finally gave in he said “You know what, if you work in the garage with me for awhile instead of the cafe then I will let you go, but only if you’re in Leon’s car because he’s in the back, Letty does dangerous shit, and Jesse is in the front towards the side and Dom and I are directly in front of the truck, and usually the drivers have weapons. ” I was totally fine with riding with Leon for the obvious reasons, but even more fine with it because of what Vince just said. I asked if the garage was illegal too just to be a sarcastic asshole and he actually said “Technically. It’s a chop shop. We do illegal repossesions, we take parts for our cars and we sell other parts, and we also have some random customers, but they’re mostly from people in the street racing world. Civilians don’t like the name Toretto.” I said “Well, they sure like the cafe.” He said “Let me rephrase that. They don’t like the name Toretto when Dominic is in front of it. They don’t mind Mia.” Vince looked at me and said “By the way… They don’t like the name Scaletta either.” Then he smiled at me and started laughing. I was really pushing on this hijack topic because I was trying to grasp my mind around the fact that my family hijacks semi-trucks. I asked "How long have the hijacks been going on?” He said “Maybe about a year or so.” I said “And the guy who’s on the inside hasn’t been caught yet? Don’t you think they would assume one of their guys is being a traitor when all their shipments get fucked up?” Vince said “You really do think just like me don’t you?” He laughed and continued with “Don’t worry about it Lacey. It’s nothing you need to even worry about at all anyway, but we already got it covered.” I said “Well, other than that, you do realize that the longer this goes on, the FBI might get involved. They’re basically organzied heists.... Well, they are organized heists.” Vince sighed in a tone as if he knew I was right but just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet. He said “Alright, kiddo. Switch spots with me. It’s time to go home.” That night I saw that Leon was there and asked him if he told Vince about last night, and he said “No, I told you as far as I’m concerned last night didn’t even happen.” I asked “Well how did he find out?” He looked at me confused and said “He knows?” I said “Yeah, but he wasn’t even mad about it…. At all actually.” He said “Hmm, that’s strange but like I said Lacey anything you don’t want Vince or anyone to know I won’t say shit. I won’t even say shit to anyone about anything even if you don’t explicitly ask me to not tell anyone.” I said “But you’re like my brother’s right hand man….” He laughed and said “That doesn’t mean I have to inform him of every single thing that happens in my personal life.” I was extremely pleased that he implied I was apart of his personal life. The next day at school when I was going to lunch I saw Vince in the school office, I walked in and asked him what he was doing here he said “I’m granting permission for Dom, Letty, Mia, Jesse, and Leon to come pick you up from school in case anything ever happens and I’m not available to come get you.” I said “Okay, can you take me home now? I don’t want to be here anymore.” He laughed and said “I figured you’d say that. I was going to do that after this anyway since I’m here I might as well.”

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Dear Diary… A couple months have gone by again since I’ve last written in you. My birthday is tomorrow and I’ll be sixteen, I feel like there’s such a huge difference between sixteen and fifteen. Anything below fifteen is too young, but anything after fifteen is old enough (for most things anyway) but fifteen is just.. fifteen. There’s nothing special about fifteen, you’re neutral. You’re not too young but you’re not quite old enough. I feel like once I turn sixteen the rest of them will start treating me more like an adult and start trusting me more. I still haven’t gone to one of these “shipments” but all of them have been 'training’ me. It’s like criminal boot camp. Only I don’t really see it that way. My family has had cops on the inside. They’ve had made deals with cops that eventually led to their complete immunity to things in the past. If someone wearing a badge can be dirty, then we’re all dirty.We’re all just doing what we have to do to survive a cold world, right?. Ultimately this just proves that a badge doesn't make someone great, sometimes the ones with the badges are even worse than the ones without them.

Twenty or so minutes after I walk downstairs and lay on our porch hammock in the backyard and I start to daydream. I cant really look at the clouds because it’s an overcast day, it’s just one big grey cloud blanketed across the entire sky, but I don’t mind, overcast and rainy days are my favorite, and since we live in Los Angeles it hardly ever rains so I actually cherish the days that it does. Just when I thought I was alone, Leon comes out of nowhere and lays on the hammock next to me, but opposite direction, his head was where my feet were at. I said “Um, hi.” He said “What’s on the agenda for today?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Math? History? Science?” I said “To be honest, I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want to lay here.” He said “I’m right there with you.” If this were to happen months ago before he started tutoring me I would be freaking the fuck out, but I completely feel comfortable around him now, well not entirely, but much more than before and I really like the feeling of that. I said “Oh hey Leon…. Will you tell on me if I smoke this blunt?” He cocked his head up so fast to look at me and gave me this expression like did she really just say that?  He just started laughing though and said “I won’t say a damn thing…… if you share,” and then he winked at me. We smoked the whole blunt, we’re just high as a kite chilling on this hammock, we don’t really speak we just lay there next to each other. I didn’t mind though because when you can be around someone and be completely comfortable even though it’s silent that’s a beautiful thing. I don’t know what it is, but when you’re with someone and you can be silent without the awkward tension you can feel more vibrations between your energy and theirs. It’s like you can connect more with that person through silence rather than with verbal discussion.  I know it probably sounds like the marijuana talking through me right now but I always felt this way. I’m very spiritual and I used to meditate routinely, but lately I just sort of fell off the tracks. I guess that’s why I don’t see eye to eye with my family most of the time, like I love them, and I appreaciate them, and I love spending time with them. It’s just I feel that my thought process is more advanced than theirs. That probably sounds narcissistic, but it’s kind of true. I can usually see the bigger picture, or the greater good, and they can’t. Sometimes even when the greater good is transparent they're too loyal. Meaning that even when they know they're wrong they won't admit it. However, I’m not saying that they aren’t smart I just feel like I figure out solutions faster than they do most of the time. Most of their so called solutions end with violence and blood. Leon is a different story however. I feel a connection between him and I, despite how cliche that sounds it’s true. I just feel like he and I definitely see eye-to-eye. When I’m near him I feel very euphoric. After the high started to wear off Leon sits up and says, “Want to go get food?” I said “That’s a dumb question.” once we get in his car he said “Where do you wanna eat?” I said “I’m in the mood for some Japanese food..” He hesitated and said “The closest Jap restaurant is in Koreatown….. Ironically enough.” I said “Yeah…? And..?” He said “Oh shit, that’s right you don’t know anything about that.” He started to pull out from the driveway and I grabbed his wrist preventing him from turning the keys and said “Don’t know anything about what?” He said “Forget it, Lacey.” I said “You can’t just say shit like that and expect me to forget about it.” He sighed and said “Johny Tran.” I said “And…….. Who is that?” He said “Dominic’s enemy. He and Dom are the two power balls of the streets around here, especially in the street racing community. It’s basically his turf. Dominic’s crew stays away from his turf, and his crew stays away from our turf- Echo Park.” I said “I don’t understand I go to that Japanese place all the time.” He said “Their beef is with Dom and his crew, not Vince’s little sister.” I hesitated to respond because I don’t like being simply known as Vince’s little sister, I have a name of my own and I don’t want to live in his shadow. Unfortunately, however, Vince has already plastered a bad name for Scaletta. People who’ve heard of that name knows that anyone with it doensn’t come with remarkable behavior or outstanding citizenship. At least that’s what one of my teachers told me. She was Vince’s English teacher too. Anyways, I sucked it up and said “Wait so they know who I am?” I mean at least they know of me, right? Better than being completely non-existent like I thought I was. He said “Yep. Why do you think we lied to you? It wasn’t to keep you out of the loop, and it wasn’t because we didn’t trust you. We we’re protecting you.” I said “I don’t see how lying to me protected me at all, I’ve freely walked around Koreatown numerous times as if there was not a care in the fucking world.” He said “I was always watching you.” I said “Woah, wait, what the fuck?” He said “Not like that. Your brother, since I’m his right hand man as you say, assigned me to watch over you. He only asked me to because things have recently heated up between Dom and Tran a lot more than usual.” I just cotinued to glare at him and he said “Lacey I wasn’t stalking you, I only ever followed you to Koreatown when I heard you say something about going to Koreatown.” I said “So you weren’t always watching me?” He said “No.” He said it in a tone as if he really wanted to say you caught me. I said “So technically, I wasn’t always safe.” He said in the same tone “I guess not….. But you’re alive.” I said “Well, I still want Japanese food.” Leon gave me this look as if he really wanted to say “Are you serious?” But he just said “Fine, but we’re taking the train they’ll see my car from a mile away.” Once we get to the Japanese restaurant things seemed to go pretty smoothly other than the fact that Leon seemed to always be looking over his shoulder, literally and metaphorically. We shared an order of spring rolls and we each had our own sushi roll. I don’t even like fish though so I got the terryaki chicken roll and I was surprised to see that Leon walked over to the table with the same fucking thing, except his was the terryaki steak roll. Each roll comes with ten little sushi rolls so I gave Leon five of my terryaki chicken's for five of his terryaki steaks. It worked out perfectly. We got to talking and I dunk down in my side of the booth and asked him about his childhood. I probably shouldn’t have because I felt the mood go from really great to not-so-great in a matter of seconds. He said “Lacey…. I don’t really want to talk about my childhood, but if you really want to know more about the Leon that existed before I moved into your house two years ago I will say this; I’m a dirfter… Well, was a drifter and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that in every place I stopped at I probably stayed a maximum of three months in each place (I was actually aware of this, Mia told me) and each place I had a different name (but I did not know this information.) I never gave anyone my real name. (Or this.) In every place I established a network of.. “friends,” I liked to refer to them strictly as connections, but they kept trying to tell me that I was running from something, and they’re probably right, but to be honest I believe I was running to find something, and I don’t know exactly what I was looking for, all I know is that I think I found it.“ After he said that he just glared over at me and it made my body tingle, and I don’t know why. He continued to talk and said "When I happened to run into Dom and your brother two years ago I introduced myself with my actual name. That’s something I haven’t done since high school prior to them. So it felt weird, it didn’t even feel like that’s who I really was anymore. I had completely forgotten about Leon, the real me. I was just a kid when they found me though, I was hustling and I ended up hustling at Race Wars, making bets before I even knew that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd. Dom asked me if I was hungry and if I had a place to stay that night, I said yeah I was hungry but no I didn’t have a home…. Never really did, and then just like that they took me in…… like a lost fucking puppy…” I tried to sound reassuring and said “At least lost puppies that get taken in get a much better and happier life.” He was still looking down but I could see him smile. He looked up and said “That’s actually a really good way to look at it, Lacey.” I just smiled at him to conclude the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about anything negative anymore. It makes me happy to know that Dom and my brother took him in as family though. It’s not like they just select and recruit random people. Vince and Dom genuinely cared about Leon’s well-being. They welcomed him into our home with a home cooked meal. I remember that because I was there. The first night he arrived he was in dirty clothes that smelt like a community trash can, and his shoes had holes in them. He didn’t look homeless though, he was clean shaved, and his hair was washed and slicked back like it always is, he just looked… Poor. I remember peeping in on him when he thought he was alone that night, and he was crying. I was just a little girl compared to what I am now and I was curious about the stranger in my home. He doesn’t know I saw him cry though, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think I recall that night. I don’t plan on telling him that I do in fact remember every thing about that night. Same as when Jesse arrived. How could I forget the nights two very important people in my life came along? Jesse’s story is a bit different from Leon’s though. Dom and my brother found him running from a gang of people who jumped him. He ran into the garage yelling for help. Poor Jesse, he’s so small and fragile. You would never assume he was apart of this kind of life, but he wasn’t running from a gang of people who wanted him dead for no reason. To outsiders, Dom seems like the kind of person who is nothing but a thug, and that he has no ounce of compassion or feelings in general. However, he’s actually a very caring person. He’s literally mama bear to all of us. Or whatever you want to call it. We’re his family, and he is strongly over-protective. Dom is just highly misunderstood. He doesn’t like to open up, but the only reason I know the things that I do is because I grew up with him and his family. When Dom and Mia’s dad died, Dom claims it wasn’t an accident. He watched his dad perish in a burning car. He swears on everything of value to him that the car was tampered with because his dad never made a mistake. Years later when Dom was a young adult he found the guy he knew was responsible for his dad’s death and beat him with a pipe wrench so badly that he went blind in one eye, and facial reconstruction couldn’t even fix the guy’s face. That was Dom’s first serious offense, and he spent two years in prison for it. He says that he’ll die before he ever goes back. Dom says his passion for street racing is because of his dad. He says within those ten seconds or less, within that quarter mile…. He’s free.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I’m just a kid who claims she’s indepedent and that I don’t need anyone to talk to, or help me, but the reality of that is in all honesty I’m dependent on everyone else in my household. I would literally be clueless without them. I don’t want to be that way, I try very hard to overcome that. I believe it mostly has to do with everything that I’ve been through, and I’m talking about since the beginning. My biological parents were very unfit parents. My mother was a junkie, Vince says she didn’t start using until a year or so after I was born. That makes me feel very unwanted, but Vince assures me that they were pieces of shit to him as well. My dad was an alcoholic and an abuser. He’d beat the living shit out of my mom and my brother for fun. My mom also provoked the fights though. Most of the time it was about money, according to Vince. Our dad’s paychecks didn’t support either of their habits or feed us. Vince was always the one taking care of me. He said that at ten years old he was changing my diapers because our parents either ignored my cries or were too intoxicated and fucked up to even hear them. Vince locked him and I in his room to protect us, mostly from our father. Vince told me one night he snuck out with me in his arms as just a little baby and he took me all the way to the Toretto house. Vince won’t admit it was because he was scared, he says it’s because he didn’t know what to do. Dom’s father always helped as much as he could but unfortunately to legal standards, we had to go home eventually. As I got little bit older my brother would always take the blame for things that I did wrong. I remember accidently knocking a cup over and splashed orange juice all over the floor and the glass broke. My mother watched it happen but she was too high to even be aware. Our dad comes in from the other room yelling and screaming. I was crying, and my dad got up in my face because he assumed I did it since I was crying so hard, but Vince jumped in and made sure I didn’t get hurt. That night Vince went to the hospital with a broken nose for something he didn’t even do. After that Dom’s father fought for legal rights of us. It was a long battle, but we eventually we’re taken in legally by Dom’s family. In the meantime however, the abuse didn’t stop. One night my mother asked me to do something for her. I was seven years old and I was excited because my mom never asked me to do anything. I was pretty sure at times she didn’t even know who I was. She asked me to wake her up early in the morning at 5:30 precisely. I made sure I stayed up the whole night, because I didn’t want to fuck up since this was the first thing my mom ever asked from me. I didn’t want to let her down basically. I didn’t tell Vince about it until after because I was sure he would talk me out of it. At 5:30 on the dot I snuck out of Vince’s room where he and I both slept. I stood on the chair he had in his room to reach the top locks on the door, and I went into my parent’s room. I woke my mom up and she was already dressed. She didn’t say a single word to me, not even a thank you. She went into her closet and grabbed a couple of bags and walked out the front door. I looked out the window and saw her get into a car, and I never saw her again after that. After it happened I cried and told Vince what happened. He was seventeen at the time, so he didn’t care too much about our mom leaving. The only thing that made him mad was that she tricked me into thinking she cared about me enough to get me to do something for her. I sobbed really hard and Vince held me and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I said “but daddy’s gonna be mad at me” and Vince said that he wasn’t going to let my dad hurt me. Later that morning when my dad found out my mom was gone Vince again took the blame for me. He got his ass kicked really badly. Every beating I deserved Vince took the blame for it. Vince got all the shit growing up and I got none of it. To this very day our childhood is not something we talk about. Ever since Dom’s father took us in our lives did a complete turn around. We weren’t afraid or uncomfortable in the house we were living in anymore. We finally had a place to call home and had it actually feel like a home. I still don’t know what ever happened to my mother, or father at this point. I have no idea if they’re even still alive, but I don’t even care.

CHAPTER NINE:

I woke up this morning with everyone in my room yelling “SURPRISE!” I was literally not expecting this, and certainly not expecting everyone to be standing in my room. At least I wasn’t sleeping naked like I normally do because that would’ve been embarrassing if I kicked the blanket off of me in the middle of the night. I see Leon holding a cake and he winked at me as if he was telepathically telling me “Since you got me a cake I got you one.” We do a lot of telepathic speaking come to think of it. They all handed me presents one by one, and when Vince gave me his he sat down next to me on the bed and said “Happy 16th birthday, kiddo. You know… My sixteenth birthday…. Sucked. All I ever wanted was a better life for you.” I just hugged him really tight. Dom said “We’re all going to pitch in to make you one hell of a breakfast so don’t fall back asleep.” Gradually everyone started to leave the room and Leon sat down next to me and said “I remember you said you don’t like cake so I got you a cookie cake, I figured that would be better.” I said “Yeah, I love cookies so..,” and smiled at him, then he pulled out a present from his pocket. He said “I know it isn’t big but sometimes smaller presents are usually the ones that cost more.” I said “The price tag means nothing to me Leon, it’s the thought that counts. I know that’s cliche to say, but it’s true.” I opened the box and it was a Pandora charm bracelet. It had a crescent moon, a sun, and all kinds of cute little things. I said “Holy shit, thank you Leon. You didn’t have to do this.” He said “Of course I didn’t have to…. I wanted to,” then he smiled and walked off. I literally sat there in shock because this whole morning started off really bizarre, I went to bed last night not expecting to even get a single present. They didn’t shower me with gifts and a big fancy breakfast last year. It was just a casual dinner at Applebee’s. I walked downstairs and they even let me have champagne and orange juice. I think I’m already starting to like the feeling of being sixteen. Later that night I overhear them talking about going on another run. Of course, I was interested, so I listened. I heard Leon say “This isn’t going to be a casual run though. We’re just going to the warehouse.” I didn’t know what was said before that because I had just began to eavesdrop. Dom said “I know, I want you and Vince to cover the back. Jesse you keep a look out in the front. I’ll handle the business.” Mia was out with Letty, I don’t know what they were doing but they took Letty’s car, which means Mia’s is out front.  I have no idea where this bright idea came from, but I decided to follow. I remembered everything Vince told me when he took me out driving. I began to follow them, and it was such a long drive. Took about fourty-five minutes to get to the warehouse, I followed behind but tried to stay as far away as possible, especially when we got to those long California roads that nobody seems to be on at the same time you are. I see them pull onto a lengthy dirt road that led to the location. I parked Mia’s car on the side of the road and began to walk. I remember Dom saying he wanted Jesse out front, so I dipped off to the side a little bit. There were plenty of trees to prevent me from being seen. I made it pass Jesse, and now I’m on the side of the warehouse. There’s a huge painter’s bucket that’s just big enough for me to stand on and inch my eyes up to the window to peak in. I see Dom talking to two asian guys. I heard him call him Johny. This must be the Johny Tran that Leon told me about. I was trying to see what they were doing, but I was too short to see everything. I tried to stand more on my tippy-toes but I slipped off the bucket and fell. It was pretty noisy, so I jumped up stood back on the bucket and checked the window to see if they heard it, but thank god they didn’t. I jump off the bucket and start heading back to the car, because that was too close of a call and I began to walk backwards to make sure no one was coming from the back, but I bumped into someone. They covered my mouth to prevent anyone from hearing my screams. I thought this was it, I thought this was the moment that I die. I kicked and tried to fight as best as I could. I felt my heart flutter and thump in my chest like a bass drum. Then all of the sudden I get turned around and pushed up against the wall and it’s Leon holding his finger by his mouth indicating for me to be quiet. He gradually took his hand away from my mouth when he felt my breathing ease up. I tried to run away like I did before on the night of the race, but Leon grabbed my arm and pushed me back up against the wall. It was pretty hard, and my head bounced off. I pushed him back and I snapped and said “Don’t fucking touch me like that ever again.” He grabbed my head and whispered “Shhhh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He grabbed my face in a gentle way and hugged me, and said “I didn’t mean to do it that hard, but goddamnit Lacey what the fuck are you doing here?” I said “I have no excuse, just please don’t tell Vince.” He said “Jesus Christ, Lacey. You can’t be doing this every time and expect me to save you and cover for you. What if that wasn’t me you ran into? What if it wasn’t one of us and it was one them? Do you think you would still be alive right now!? Probably not!” I just looked down and started to cry. I want more than anything to be one of them but I guess I'm just not ready to handle it. He grabbed my chin and wiped my tears and continued and said “How did you even get here?” I said “I took Mia’s car.” Leon just heavily sighed and said “Go home, Lacey.” I said “Are you going to tell?” He turned around and said “No….. But if this happens again I will, Lacey. I’ll have to for your own good. Now, just go home, and don’t be seen! if you get caught we didn't just have this conversation.” Then he ran off towards the back of the warehouse. I got home before Letty and Mia did thankfully. I definitely would’ve gotten in trouble if Mia got home and found her car gone, but with Leon covering for me I can make up a lie and say I just went to a friend’s house or something, and I would get into way less trouble, but thankfully no lies needed to be said, at least on my part. I ran upstairs to my room, and didn’t come back out. I stayed up all night, I could hear their cars pull into the driveway. I turn over to look at the clock, and it’s 6:42 AM. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. Fifteen minutes go by and I hear a slight knock at my door. It was loud enough to get my attention, I don’t know if I would’ve heard it though if I had actually been asleep though. I was confused as hell and I pondered the thought of actually opening it but I guess I took too long because when I finally made the decision and cracked the door open nobody was there.

CHAPTER TEN:

I walk downstairs the next morning, I was supposed to be in school, but I obviously wasn’t going considering the fact that by the time I even fell asleep school had already started. I slowly walk down the stairs to see if I hear anyone talking and the house was dead silent. It was 10:00AM and I’m guessing the rest of them are still sleeping. I walk into the kitchen and nearly almost run into Vince and I jumped so hard, I thought my heart stopped. He says “Why are you so jumpy, and why didn’t you go to school?” I said “Why aren’t you asleep?” He just gave me a puzzled look and asked “Why would I be asleep?” He asked, and I said “I heard you guys pull in at like 6:30.” He said “Oh….. Well…. I slept for a few hours. Now answer my question.” I said “I didn’t feel like going.” He said “Okay,” and started to walk off. I said “That’s it? "Okay.” You’re not going to yell at me? Ask me why I didn’t feel like going? Nothing?“ He said "Why would I yell at you? I just asked you why you weren’t at school. You answered my question and that’s all I wanted.” He starts to walk off and turns back around and said “Oh, Lacey…. Dom and I are going to begin construction down here in the house. We’re going to build the princess Leon his own room so he can quit bitching about sharing one with me and bitching about his roommates at his other house. Anyways, it’s going to be pretty noisy so you might want to get some sleep now while you can.” I said “How did you know I haven’t really slept?” He said “…I didn’t… Until now.” Then he starts to walk off again and I stopped him and said “Hey Vince… Did you knock on my door this morning?” Vince looks extremely puzzled and said “No. Why would I do that?” I played it off and said “I must’ve heard your door close or something I don’t know.” He said “Alright.” Then walks away and goes back to his room with a bowl of cereal. I walk around the rest of the house and then walk into the living room. I see Leon sleeping on the couch. I slowly walk over to him but then quickly walk away thinking to myself what the hell am I doing? How do I even know it was him who knocked on my door? Wait who else could it have been? A few hours later around noon I decide to sit outside on the hammock. It’s such a beautiful, breezy day. I feel at peace and then suddenly the backdoor opens and it’s Leon. I jump up and start to walk off and he grabbed my arm, but then quickly took his hand back as if he's the one traumatized by grabbing me like that last night and he said “You know you don’t have to run from me.” I said “I know…..” He also said “I’m also really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to be so rough.” I said “…..I know…” He felt my head and felt a knot on it and said “Jesus Christ,” and then sighed really heavily. I said “It’s okay… Really… I’m not upset about it, I shouldn’t have been there in the first place, and I know you didn’t mean to do it.” He said “No. It's not alright. It's never alright under any circumstances for a guy to treat a girl like that. Don't justify it Lacey. I fucked up and I feel like shit. I would kill anyone who puts on a knot on your head and here I am giving you one.” I paused a moment and thought about what he just said it made me feel so loved and cared about that I nearly started crying, but in a joyous way. I look up at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He said “Anyways……. I could go for a haircut. If you're feeling up to it, that is.” Then looked at me with a smirk. I said “Okay…. But you owe me.” He said “Okay, what do I owe you? I said  ”….. I don’t know yet…. I mean…  I know, but I don’t want to talk about it yet.“ He looked a little confused but chuckled and said "Alright Lacey..” I ran back downstairs with the trimmers and scissors. He was already sitting in a porch chair outside. I plugged the trimmers into the outside outlet and said “They aren’t going to reach bring the chair back a little bit.” He did, and I proceeded. He said “Just do it exactly like the last time, and don’t take too much off, I like this style, just clean it up a little bit.” The feeling of touching his neck and running my fingers through his hair made me feel really…. Tingly. I wouldn’t know how else to describe it. He started talking and he said “So Lacey….. Remember when you came over to my house on my birthday?” I said yeah in such a tone as if I didn’t know where he was headed with this because I truly didn’t. He said “You left your backpack there. I forgot to tell you, I know it’s been two months since then, but the thought just kept slipping my mind, and you haven’t said anything about it, but then after what I found inside I figured I wouldn’t say anythig until you brought it up…. But you never did.” I started thinking to myself by saying shit that’s where I left it. I asked “You went through my bag…?” He said “No it was unzipped all I did was pick it up and you know what fell out.” I didn’t say anything and he continued and asked “So how long have you been dealing?” I said “Since August when school started.” He asked “Where are you getting all that weed from? I hope you’re not pushing for someone.” I said “I’m not. It’s my weed. I buy it, and charge more than what I bought it for.” He said “That’s a little fucked up.” I said “I know, but I don’t care. The preppy kids at my school don’t know how much a G costs anyway. They’ll pay whatever price I make up.” He said “Well then… Good. Finesse that shit.” I said “You’re not going to yell at me or something?” He said “No of course not. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Then he reached in his pockets and pulled out a fat stack of cash wrapped in my pink hair tie that I’ve also been looking for and said “You probably want this back.” I just sighed and blankly stared into his eyes and he said “Hey… As long as you’re not getting yourself into trouble I don’t care.” Then he said “Oh and what was the favor you wanted?” I started to laugh and said “Never mind.” He said “Nah what is it?” I said “I was just going to ask you to pretend to be my guardian or whatever for a piercing I want.” He said “Okay, that’s literally a piece of cake.” I said “But you’re probably not going to do it when I tell you the piercing that I want.” Then he said “Lacey…. If you say you want a clit ring I’m going to walk away and pretend like I never had this conversation.” I started laughing and said “No!! I want….” I was hesitant about it but continued and said “My nipples pierced…” He just blankly stared at me and said “Why?” I said “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pictures of nipple piercings and they look… Pretty…Cool.” He pondered the decision and said “Alright, I know a guy that did my tatts…. He’ll hook you up for half the price.” He started to walk away and I said “Leon….” He turned around and I said “Thank you..” He chuckled and “Yeah no problem.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

The next day Leon takes me to Downtown, LA. We live so close but never actually go here often. He took me to a tatt shop, and I was honestly nervous. I already have a tattoo that’s on my chest below my boobs, but nobody knows that except for me, and this one boy I dated when I was fifteen. He kind of took my virginity. Well he did, but as soon as he pooped my cherry he took it out and said gross, even though I literally told him I was a virgin and he was expecting it. Haven’t had any sexual contact since other than with myself. Anyways, I feel nervous maybe because of the fact that a needle is going to go through my nipple…. Twice. I told Leon “I’m nervous. Will you come back there with me?” He said “Lacey… Ummm…. Okay.” We got back there and Leon greeted the guy and called him Dave. He said “This is Lacey.” I just smiled real nervously and Dave asked “How old are you Lacey?” I look over to Leon and he gave me this reassuring nod as if it was all right to tell the truth. I said “I’m sixteen.” Leon said “Yeah so can you like cover her titts up, because she wants me to hold her hand.” I actually never asked him to hold my hand but I would appreciate it. Dave said “Yeah man sure, I’ll get what I use to cover genitals when I’m doing tattoos in that area.” He comes back with this paper towel type thing that felt like the thing dentists put around you to keep your clothes from getting ruined with your saliva and toothpaste. Leon turned around and I took my shirt off. Dave said “Wow, that’s a really nice tattoo.” I hesitated and said “Thanks…..” Dave put the cover over me and said “Leon, I’ll need you to hold it up so I can do the piercing, but this should do the job.” Leon held up the cover so Dave can pierce my titts with his left hand, and held my hand with his right, and stood behind my head. All I remember after that was clinching my teeth together and squeezing the shit out of Leon’s hand and I even bit on Leon's hand a little bit to prevent myself from screeching, but he didn't say anything or move his hand away so I'm guessing he didn't care about my impulsive decision. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes though. As we’re leaving I’m moving pretty slow because the shirt feels like it’s rubbing against my nipples in every way it can. I look down and my nipples are still rock hard and poking through my halter top. I thought to myself that maybe today was a bad day not to wear a bra, but then again wearing a bra might make this feeling worse. We get in the car and Leon says “Sooooooo….. You have a tattoo?” I said “Ummmm…. Yeah….. About that..” He cut me off and said “I don’t want to know… Actually, all I want to know is how old were you and where did you get it?” I said “I was fifteen. Chandler’s brother is a tattoo artist…….. and it’s on my chest… under my boobs.” Leon said “Alrighty then…. I actually meant what shop or whatever… But alright.” He kind of looked like he was blushing a bit and it made me smile and blush also. We get to the house and Leon said “You might want to wear a jacket by the way.” I cross my arms over my titts and started laughing a little bit. At this point I knew I could trust Leon with anything. We walk in and I head upstairs to go change right away and I put a baggy sweater on and some leggings. Then I walk back down stairs in time for dinner. Everyone was pretty much quiet for the most part so dinner wasn’t really exciting, but I’m content because of how close Leon and I have become. I made eye contact with him and he started smiling, but it was kind of like he’s still  blushing. At least that’s the way I remember it, or would like to remember it at least.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Dear Diary, It seems that I only write in you when months go by. It almost seems that’s how long it takes for me to think of something to write or have anything interesting to even write about. However, Leon has given me a much more interesting life lately so I should honestly be writing more. Anyways, Leon and I have become really great… friends. I can trust him with literally anything and it makes me so happy. I think I’m falling for him in ways that are indescriable. It kind of scares me how badly I am infatuated with him. I think I used to hide it pretty well, but now I’m not so sure, but at the same time I kind of don’t care if he did find out, but at the same time I do. It’s complicated. What if he finds out and completely rejects it and we lose the bond we have now? But what if he does find out and feels the same way and we can make our bond even stronger? I’ve also gotten more invovled in these “runs” my family consistently goes on, well I haven’t exactly been invited I just sneak. The first time was a street race that I wasn’t supposed to be at either. The second time was a bit more serious. They met at a sedcluded location and it looked like some kind of deal was going on. Leon caught me both times though, but he had his gun armed the second time and it was a bit more serious that I was there. Leon never told anyone though.That’s why I know I can trust him.

Today is Valentine’s Day and all day today at school I see these dumb ass kids with their gigantic teddy bears and boxes of chocolates. It was like parading your relationship around was the coolest fucking thing to do. When are these kids going to grow up and realize it’s not always about material items all the time? I don’t know but either way, it disgusts me. School quickly turned into a night club with kids practically dry humping each other in the courtyard all because of an overrated holiday. I personally think that if your relationship was actually solid any day should feel like Valentine’s Day. There shouldn’t be a designated day to show you love your significat other, that should literally be like every day. My point is that why on a particular day do you feel the need to spoil your loved one with materialistic items when love shouldn't be founded or grown from such things. You also shouldn’t be the person to ever expect expensive things to just be handed to you. Valentine's day really is just a day they mark up the prices on stupid, meaningless cards and candy. I’ve been often told that I’m an “old soul” I guess that’s why it’s so hard for me to relate and get along with people my age. I see the things and trends that people my age do, and I find it revolting. I relate to people who are much older than me so it’s hard to make friends, because not too many twenty-plus year olds want to hang out with a sixteen year old. I mean I can’t legally drink or get into night clubs so what would we even do? Watch movies? I guess that’s why I’ve come to find myself happier when I’m alone, but no matter how much someone tries to convince themselves and other people that they’re a “lone wolf” and independent, they need someone from time and time again. Most lone wolves act as if they never cared about anyone ever, but the truth is, they’ve lost that one person they cared about, so they figure being alone is better than to ever have to go through that feeling again. However, from my prespective I see it as not wanting to lose those people I care deeply about, so I keep my distance to prevent that from happening. It’s basically a paradox, but I can tend to be a little contradicting at times. As I’m casually walking and drifting in and out of reality and being consumed by my thoughts and fantasies like usual this preppy jocky dude grabs my arm really hard and turns me around I said “What the fuck is your problem man?” He said “I heard about you..” As I was trying to decipher what this could even possibly mean I said “Congratu-fucking-lations. Let me go.” This could really translate to anything. He probably heard a nasty rumor. He said “I know about your family.” This response startled me a bit because I don’t really even know about my own fucking family, so what could he or anyone else possibly fucking know? He said “I don’t want any problems, I just know you sell weed. I mentioned your family because everyone knows they’re up to illegal shit just nobody knows what… You obviously do so..” I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about nor do I see what that has to do with anything.” He said “Look, I don’t know where else to buy weed from and I promised this college girl that I would have some, I just need someone who wouldn’t say anything. This could mess up my football scholarships and my relationship.” I pondered the decision and then realized this man’s life, his scholarships, and relationship is seriously not my problem whether he got caught or not, but then I also thought that he's the type to get caught and only get a slap on the wrist if he ratted out who gave him the weed, and I'm nobody to him so he would have no problem doing so without hesitation. While I was thinking about whether or not I actually wanted to sell to this kid he said "Look. You won't get into trouble, I have a lot to lose such as my football scholarship. I won't get caught I'll be careful and even if I do get caught I have rich parents who are friends with a DA and some pretty high-up-there people. It'll be swept under the rug and nobody would know where the weed even came from." I sighed and said “Fine…. How much you need?” He said “A ground.” I said “Excuse me? Do you mean gram?” Where the fuck did he hear ground from? He said “Whatever it’s called.” I said “Okay…. fourty bucks.” He said “Alright no problem. Do you have change? I only have a fifty.” I said "I'm a drug dealer, not a cash register." He handed me the cash, which was actually ten more dollars than I had even originally asked for, and I handed him a fat nic sack, but he clearly doesn’t know the difference. I was laughing to myself thinking How can someone be this stupid? A gram isn’t even fourty dollars, it’s not even twenty dollars, and I didn’t even give him a gram. I gave him a nic sack that's only actually worth five bucks. I should feel really bad and petty but these dumb arrogant rich kids shouldn't be smoking weed if they have no fucking clue about the terminology, prices, and size. The fact that it was too easy to scam them was hilarious and not my problem, but rather my profit. Anyone like me could just tell by simply eyeballing the nic sack that it certainly wasn't a gram nor anywhere close to fourty dollars. I know what you're thinking; I should probably be more careful and profit more reasonable prices. However, I choose my clientele selectively and appropiately. If someone is buying from me and I know they would call me out on my shit even if I said it was worth five more dollars than what it actually was I wouldn't bullshit. You'd think that would get me caught and I'd lose customers, but like I said, I go to a school that's filled with a bunch of preppy rich kids who don't even know what they're doing when it comes to buying weed, and the small handful of kids like me at this school don't run their mouth about things like this because like me, they know running your mouth can get you into trouble. A few moments later as I’m walking down the road after the last bell of the day rang I see a familiar car. Unfortunately it wasn’t Leon it was Vince. He said “Get in.” We went an opposite direction than home so I said “Where are we going?” He said “No where special. I just have to go pick up something. Thought I would pick you up on the way.” The conversation stopped for awhile. Vince pulls up in front of a house, and I had to double-look to realize that it was the house of my fucking weed dealer. I started panicking but on the outside I probably still looked sleepy and normal even though I could feel my heart pound rapidly against my chest. My dealer walks outside and starts walking up to the car and at this point I think I’m literally having a panic attack I start looking for a way to escape this situation, but that’s obviously impossible so I just brace myself for whatever the fuck is about to happen. He shakes Vince’s hand and hands Vince some weed while Vince hands him the money in one handshake. That was the transaction handshake. The dealer looks over at me and then back at Vince and he asked “How do you know Lacey?” Vince looked at me and back at the dealer and said “How the fuck do you know Lacey?” I just sink down in my seat and start thinking to myself shit here we go. The dealer answers and said “I deal to her all the time.” Vince looks at me but replies to him and said “Oh really?” I start looking out the window because eye contact with Vince is the last thing I want to encounter right now. Vince’s looks could literally kill. When he started to drive off he didn’t say anything. I made sure I looked out the window the whole ride home. Once we pulled in the driveway I immediately went for the door but Vince grabbed my hand and said “You’re not going anywhere until we talk about this.” I started thinking to myself this is why I like Leon better. He doesn’t force me to talk about anything. I said “I buy weed, who cares? Can I go now?” He said “No. Why do you buy weed?” I said “Oh gee, Vince I wonder what I could possibly be doing with weed.. Hmmmmm… Baking?? Yeah baking delicious brownies for the drama class.” He clearly didn’t appreciate the sarcasm because his face seemed to get bright red with anger. I wasn't even being sarcastic to be a bitch, sarcasm was just my instinctual defense mechanism. Vince never gets angry with me so I said “Vince… I smoke weed okay….. You do it… Everyone else in the house does it… It’s not that big of a deal.” He said “I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.” I said “Well damn Vince what about all the secrets you’re keeping from me?” The tears in my eyes started forming and his eyes settled and he sighed deeply. I didn't even mean to ask this, it just slipped off my tongue. They're not joking when they say bottling things up inside is dangerous. Vince looked at me with bewilderment, slight anger, and frustration and said “The secrets I keep from you are for your own good.” I said “Yeah and the secrets I keep from you are for my own good too.” Vince said “Lacey… I never yell at you. I never get mad at you…. So why do you feel the need to keep things from me?” I said “Vince…. You don’t even understand what goes on in my head, and I don’t even know how to even begin to explain what goes on in my head, but even if I did I couldn’t tell you, because you’re never even around long enough for me to begin.” Vince said “What are you talking about?” I said “I know we’re fucking criminals, Vince! I'm not stupid. Even kids at school know about you guys. Probably a lot more than I even fucking do. We street race, we do mysterious illicit deals in random warehouses in the middle of nowhere, god knows what else the fuck we do yet you’re jumping on my case because of some fucking weed and some secrets? Fuck you Vince.” My heart sank to the floor when I realized I just ratted myself out about sneaking around that night of the warehouse incident. Thank God I didn't throw Leon under the bus, he would never trust me again. He didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t leave the car. Part of me really wanted to leave from the car but the other part of me just felt too emotionally and physically unstable to even move. I was also a little scared to move at this point. I just wanted to lay down and cry where I was sitting. Vince said “How the hell do you know about the warehouse?” I said “Goddamnit Vince… I followed you, okay? I don’t care if you get mad about it, but I am sorry. I’m not a little girl anymore. I understand now, I’m not dumb. You can’t just keep feeding me this bullshit and expect to tell you everything when I don’t even know who you are anymore Vince… Any of you at that. What were YOU doing at sixteen, Vince? Tell me that. I bet it’s worse than anything I’ve ever fucking done, yet you want to sit here and lecture me about keeping secrets and smoking weed?” Vince said “Alright. I think it’s time.” I just gave him this puzzled ass look and he said “Go inside and wait for me in the dining room.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Vince seemed a little pissed off so I did exactly what he said and I sat and waited in the dining room. My stomach was all in knots and my heart was pounding. I had no idea what to prepare for. Vince walks in the dining room and literally everyone was with him, even Leon. Dom is the first one to speak and he said “So Lacey….. Vince told me you know about what we do. Well, at least the tip of the iceberg.” Everyone seemed so calm, yet I basically just called them out on their "top secret" bullshit. I just sat in my chair with my legs and arms crossed and I tried to avoid eye contact by looking down at my boring all black shoes. I felt like this was going to be an attack even though the approach was light. Dom grabbed my chin to advert my attention to his eyes and said “No one is mad at you. We all knew this day would come. We just want you to be prepared for all the shit it comes with instead of sneaking around. You could get yourself…. Well... Killed for doing that shit.” I got your typical family-like lecture that lasted what seemed like an hour, the only difference is that normal families don’t lecture their teenagers for sneakig around and overseeing their illicit activites. A couple weeks go by and I still stayed on the outside with the exception of some of the minor details Leon would share with me, but even those I had to beg for especially now after seeing how I spilled the beans on the warehouse incident and could've potentionally gotten him in trouble. Honestly, if I were them I would kind of be embarassed at the fact that a sixteen girl is calling them out on their bullshit, and they thought they were so sneaky. Or have they not really been trying to sneak, and that I've only just now started to become more observant and ballsy? Whatever the case may be a sixteen year old high school girl still called them out on their bullshit. The next morning at school a girl that I have been getting rather close with asks me if I wanted to ditch school with her and hangout. Of course I agreed to it, because why wouldn’t I? I hate school anyway, and I needed some friends, I suppose. I met this girl a few months ago in class, she transferred from a school in Sacramento. She’s kind of tall, kind of thick, but the good kind, with long brown curly hair, that matched her brown eyes. Her name is Jackie, short for Jaqueline, and she was a lot like me. She was down to earth, open-minded, and chill. The only difference was that she could make friends easily. She had the whole school in the palm of her hand within weeks. It’s not that I was shy, it’s that I don’t trust people. I still don’t fully trust her. I can hang out with people for months, years even, and still not fully trust them. I guess that’s an expected trait with the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to. It’s just how I am. I’m always mentally prepared to be stabbed in the back. It makes it much easier to deal with when it actually happens, and you don’t get as hurt. I rather have one good friend than a lot and not know who is secretly my enemy. I expected her to have invited a lot of her other friends to come as well, but it was just me and her. I asked her where we were going and she said “Over to a friend of mine’s house. He has weed.” I said “I have weed….” She looked at me and said “I know, but….. he has…. other stuff too.” I said “Ohhh…. I didn’t know you were into anything hardcore.” She said “Xanax isn’t that hardcore.” She brushed it off as if that was such a normal thing to say. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start an argument, but pretty much anything outside of alcohol and marijuana was beyond my element. I’ve done other drugs a few times, but it never became a habit. I also thought about the severity of selling anything higher than weed. You deal with turf when it comes to that shit, and the Mexicans run this area. Which makes sense that Jackie has connects in this area, because she is Mexican. We finally get to the house, and it’s a torn down piece of shit in the middle of a pretty sketchy neighborhood. Jackie and I are the whitest people on the entire block, even though she is half Mexican. She has the accent though, so if she were to speak she would instantly blend in leaving me the sore thumb. She proceeded up to a house that had bars on the windows and some of them were boarded up. Even the screen door had bars on it. Some sketchy guy came to the door and opened it and talked through the screen door and said “Who’s she?” Jackie said “She’s my friend, it’s cool.” He didn’t say anything else after that and he just stared at me for awhile, I stared back with a pretty fierce look, mostly because I was irritated but also because I was out of my comfort zone, but on the inside I was a little nervous because I hate willingly putting myself into sketchy situations, but I'm already in too deep to escape now. I sit down on the couch next to Jackie, I look around and observe my surroundings, and find any possible exits, just in case. Just part of my nature. The coffee table was filled with cigarette ashes, food, and cocaine, various pills, weed, other random drugs, and a pistol. Next to the door, right by where I was sitting was a wooden baseball bat which is only a good weapon if you have upper body strength, which I seriously lack. Some dude who didn’t say a word was breaking up a nug of weed and watching a shitty box TV with in-and-out picture quality. Which I found pretty odd. All that drug money, but you can’t afford a better television with greater reception? Jackie got her Xanax and I figured we could leave now, so I stood up, and the guy who opened the door said “Where you going?” I said “I thought we were leaving now,” and then I looked back at Jackie, and she said “It’s okay Lacey, we can chill for a little while.” I thought about getting my phone out and calling Leon, but as soon as I reached in my backpack to grab my phone the guy said “What you doing reaching in your bag for?” I hesitated to answer, and grabbed my water bottle and said “I’m just getting my water.” I started panicking because if I get my phone out and call Leon they’ll probably think I’m calling the cops and they’ll kill me. I mean, if I were them I would assume the same thing. The guy who was watching TV started feeling up Jackie’s legs and up her skirt. She didn’t stop him and he said “Wanna bump?” She said “Sure,” and smiled flirtatiously. Then they each did a line of cocaine that was sitting on the coffee table for god knows how long. Even though anything outside the world of marijuana and alcohol was considered extreme to me, I could handle the Xanax, but now she's doing cocaine? I need to get out of this situation, but how? I started thinking to myself great I befriended a junkie whore who got me into a sketchy situation. After she did a line she said “Lacey, come to the bathroom with me.” We proceeded to walk to the bathroom and the two guys stared at us, there was more guys in a room towards the back who shut the door as we walked by. We walk into the bathroom and Jackie shuts the door and I say “Jackie we need to get the fuck out of here.” She said “No, I’m having fun.” I said “Why the fuck did you want me to come in here with you then?” She said “To take selfies with me.” I said “Are you fucking kidding me? Selfies? Sorry Jackie but I’m fucking leaving, and I don��t care if you come with me or not.” She said “You need to calm down Lacey, those guys out there don’t trust you.” I said “They don’t trust me? Bitch, I don’t trust them! They're the sketchy douche bags with shitty TV reception, and an extension cord running from the neighbor's house just so they could have power.” Jackie said “Okay, okay, okay. Just give me five more minutes to pinch some more xannies from Miguel alright. If I let him feel up on me a little bit he’ll give me more than the cost.” I rolled my eyes, and said “Fine, but after this Jackie I’m fucking done.” She said “Sorry, I’ll never take you here again.” I said “No Jackie, I’m fucking done with you, I can't stand people who act like you in sketchy situations. You're so unalert and careless, and that's dangerous.” I proceeded to walk out of the bathroom without her. She sat down next to me on the couch and gave me a dirty look, and then started flirting with Miguel. The other one not named Miguel asked me if I was thirsty, and I said “No thanks, I have my water.” He said “I don’t see you drinking it.” So I did to get him to stop talking to me and to prevent him from offering me anything and preventing me from having to say no to his offer which could end badly. Fifteen minutes later I started feeling light-headed. I immediately knew something was wrong and that they drugged me. I stood up immediately and ran for the door, but one of the guys grabs me and puts his hand over my mouth, and after that I blacked out. I faintly remember some details from fading in and out of conciousness. I remember a group of guys raping Jackie who was unconcious. I felt my pussy to see if I too had been raped. I didn’t see any blood, and I didn’t feel wet. I blacked back out, then woke up again in an alley behind a 7/11 in Koreatown, and it was pitch black outside. I didn’t have my phone, and I didn’t have my backpack. I started freaking out and crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to call the police from a payphone, or call Leon. I had blood all over my clothes and my shirt was all ripped up. I remember seeing what they did to Jackie and thought to myself that I was just gangbanged. I also came to the realization that if I wanted to call Leon from a payphone I would need money and I literally had nothing except for the torn clothes on my back. I ran to the first place I knew I would feel safe– Leon’s house. Any normal person would call the police, but I don't have a normal life, I have this one. I climb up the hill Leon’s house sits on, the side of the house slopes down to the street, and because of the effects of the drugs that I'm still mildly exerperiencing, the little hill felt steeper, and taller than it actually was. I bang on his window loud hoping he was actually there, I see the blinds go up fast and Leon pointed a gun and lowered it fast when he realized it was me said “Jesus Christ, Lacey,” loud enough for me to hear it through the window, then he opens the window and pushes the screen out, then gets a real good look at me and his jaw dropped, I started sobbing, panting and barely getting a word out, and he said “Holy shit.” Then he pulled me up through the window as fast as he could, I didn't have the strength to pull myself up, and we fell to the ground. I didn’t let go of him we just kind of sat there holding each other. “Lacey, baby, I need you to tell me what happened.” He said and I said “I’m still trying to remember what even happened.” He said “Lacey, baby, I need you to breathe, calm down, and think!” I tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. Leon grabbed a water bottle from the night stand next to his bed and held it nearly like a baby bottle for me to drink, because I apparentally looked too incapable to do it myself which means I must look more terrible than I feel and that wasn't a great thing to think about seeing how I can't remember what even happened to me. After I caught my breath I started to explain every detail I faintly remembered through my panting. I could see Leon’s face grow pale as I explain all of this, but then after I finished all I could recollect I see his face grow red with anger. I’ve seen Leon upset before, but I’ve never seen him this vexed. He literally punched a hole in his wall, and then pulled himself together again and kneeled back down on the ground next to me and grabbed my face gently and said “Lacey I need you to to remember where this happened. These mother fuckers aren’t going to get away with this.” I started panting and freaking out again and said “Leon I can’t. I don’t remember.” I start sobbing and panting and repeating “I can’t remember” over and over. Leon eventually held me again and didn’t say anything this time, he just held me tightly and didn’t let go. Twenty minutes went by and I calmed down a lot more than what I was, but I was still obviously shaken up, and Leon said “I just remembered something.” Then stood up and made a phone call. After the call had ended he said “A buddy of mine has a wife who’s a doctor. She does a lot of… Uh….. Off duty type of work for my buddy and his friends. They’re thankfully in the area.. Kind of, and I asked my friend to ask his wife to come check you out.” When the doctor showed up I was still in the same position on the floor and the doctor kneeled down next to me and touched my shoulder and said “Hi Lacey, I’m Tara. I need you to do a few things for me, okay?” I just looked at her through my tears and nodded my head and she continued with “Good, I need you to take your skirt and underwear off, and lay on the bed.” Leon interrupted and said “Should I leave?” I frantically looked at him and said “No, please don’t!” Tara said “Leon, can you get me a clean towel and lay it down on your bed so Lacey can lay on it?” Leon came back with the towel and said “I think I should leave Lacey, I don’t think it’d be appropiate if I.. Uh… Saw….” Tara interrupted him and said “You won’t see anything Leon, I have something to cover everything from your prespective, I’m sure she’d like you to hold her hand.” I immediately shook my head yes, because Leon was literally my safety net.  Leon said “Alright.” Then sat on the bed behind my head reched for my left hand and held it up to his mouth kissed it then rested it on his chin. Tara began her examination and said “I have wonderful news Lacey. You weren’t raped. Whoever drugged you definitely planned on doing so, but you fought back, and clearly won.” I asked “What does that mean? Did I kill someone!?” I know she's a professional, but she responded a little too calm to a question like that and explained “You’re not covered in enough blood for it to have been a homicide but you don’t have any wounds deep enough to have that much blood on your shirt so it’s definitely not yours. Also I’ve noticed that you have skin under your fingernails so you definitely clawed at them. Judging by the blood on your shirt and the fingernails I say you roughed them up pretty good.” I asked “But I woke up in a random alley. They must’ve put me there.” Tara said “Or you just don’t remember what happened because of the drugs. You probably got away and ran, until the drugs blacked you out again, and then passed out in the alley. You have no vaginal tears or even signs of intercourse at all. When a girl is sexually assaulted she's usually drier than the Sahara desert which causes severe vaginal tears from the force implemented by the attacker.” Leon said “So she’s…. Okay?” Tara nodded with such reassurance and said “Yes! She’s perfectly fine other than the trauma, bruises, and scratches.” Leon looked at me, and smurked a thankful smile. Tara went to her bag and pulled out some unmarked scripts and said “Here’s some medication.” She marked each bottle with a different letter and said “This one is for relaxation because of the trauma. It's like Xanax but a lot more mild." I though to myself What are the fucking odds? Xanax is what got me into this mess in the first place. She continued and said "...And this one is for headchaes, it’s called firocet it’s for severe migraines. I recommended not taking anything until tomorrow afternoon. You wouldn’t want to mix this with whatever they drugged you with. From professional experience I’d say it was probably roofies, or some generic form, due to your loss of memory. You should be fine after a good night’s sleep.” Something about Tara was so ironic. She was soft spoken, reassuring, calm, and her vibe was peaceful. Yet, at the same time she’s basically a mob doctor. I’m not dumb. I figured it out right away when Leon said “off duty” work and I thought to myself how did someone like this who clearly wasn’t raised in this life become apart of this life? How did she end up marrying someone apart of this life? How did it all work out for her? It all seemed too weird to me, but at the same time, I was envious. She has the best of both worlds. I’m sure she has a lot of friends and connections on both sides of the law. After Tara took my urine for some various tests she proceeded to pack up. Leon said “Thanks so much Tara. Tell Jax I said hey.” She said “Of course, it’s not a problem.” Tara proceeds to leave and said “I’ll have Jax give me your number Leon so I can call you about the results of her tests.” Then Leon walks her out to her car and comes back in the room and I sit up on Leon’s bed making sure I’m still covered and I said “Can I shower?” He said “no shit,” and kind of chuckled. He said “The towel you’re sitting on is clean, if you want to use that one.” Then he walked over to his bathroom and started to turn the shower on. I slowly walked in behind him with the towel wrapped around my waist and he said “If you want it hotter just turn it to the left.” Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked out closing the door behind him. I slowly unbottoned my school shirt as I remembered what happened to Jackie, and if she was safe. In a way I felt a little guilty knowing that I got away and that she probably didn’t. Then again, even though nobody deserves what she got by any means, it was her fault for being to absent-minded by willingly putting herself in harm's way and dragging me into it. I sat down inside the shower and let the water run down on me. I was just sitting there for about twenty or so minutes before I lifted my head up. I looked up at Leon’s shower things and I picked up his body wash, put some in my hands and started rubbing it all over my body. Even though Tara said I wasn’t harmed I still felt disgusting. I didn’t even feel comfortable touching myself down there. After I got out of the shower I gradually walked out of the bathroom in my towel feeling awkward. This has been something I’ve fantasied about for a long time, but now I feel gross and I don’t even want Leon to look at me. Leon pulls out one of his jersey tank tops that he always wears with the number eight on it and said “I figured you needed something to put on after the shower. I also have some clean boxers if you’re okay with that.” I said “Yes, that’s fine.”  Leon then turns around as if he expected me to change here instead of walking back into the bathroom, so I did change in the room. I don’t know why I guess it was instinct. Despite everything I just went through I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. I only felt uncomfortable with myself at this point. I started to lay down on the bed afterwards and Leon started to make a bed for himself on the floor. I said “What are you doing?” He paused with a stunned expression on his face and said “I’m giving you the bed.” I said “Leon….. I would feel like shit if you slept on the floor in your own room.” He said “It’s really not that big of a deal.” I said “The bed is huge. Just sleep next to me.” He said “Lacey, I’m not sleeping with you.” “I said next to me not with me.” Leon just sighed heavily and then climbed up in bed next to me as if he knew he wanted to sleep there all along. Who would sleep on the hardwood floor of their own room when there’s only one tiny girl in their bed? There’s plenty of room. Moments later I was dead alseep. A few hours must have went by and I woke up to Leon shaking me out of a bad dream and the sun was peaking through the windows. I must have been tossing franctically because of the dream. I have had severe night terrors like that before. Vince has told me about them. Leon said “Are you okay?” I sat there in silence for a minute and said “I don’t think it was a dream, I think I was remembering stuff that actually happened. I saw the house. I remember what the house looked like. It was light blue, very torn down, it had bars on all the windows, and there was some word on the side in black spray paint. Not like grafitti but like a random ass word.” He said “If you saw it in person would you be able to point it out?” I shook my head and added “We would have to start where we did though so I can remember my steps exactly.” Leon said “We?” I said “Me and this girl Jackie. She’s the one who brought me there. We obviously ditched school. We walked there from the back of the school by the football field. It was like only a couple blocks away.” Leon jumped out of bed immediately and grabbed his keys and said “Lets go.” I didn’t hesitate and I don’t know why. In the car Leon mentioned something I already knew and said "I'm pretty sure that area is Mexican ran. Maybe Hector will know." I said "Don't get anybody else involved." He said "You're right." We started to drive past my school as the sun was just peaking up over the horizon. He stopped at a stop sign as we approached the end of the football field and said “Where do I go from here?” I said “Make a left, at the end that block make a right and go straight.” Putting myself in the same exact setting and retracing my steps has actually helped me remember a ton. As Leon approached the last direction, my heart sank in my stomach. I saw the house and an eerie feeling like I just knew that was it. A flash back came to mind. I saw myself running away from the house after squeezing through the side of the bars on one of the back windows. It was remembered from a first-person presepective, but I saw the memory as if it were a movie scene. Leon stopped in front of the house next door to the blue house and looked over at me and said “Is that the one?” I just slowly shook my head yes all while staring at the house with fear. He said “Are you ready to do this?” I look over at him with slight panic and said “Do what?” He said “Investigate.” We started to walk around towards the back of the hosue and I was holding on to his arm because I felt very weak in the knees when Leon noticed something I did at the same time. Leon reached for it and said “You must’ve squeezed through these bars. This is a torn piece of your shirt.” I shook my head and said “Yeah, I remember that.” The window was still open, and Leon squeezed his hand through the side of the bars and moved the curtain out of the way to look through. No one was in the room, but I saw my backpack and said “Shit.” Leon said “Don’t worry. We’ll get it back.” I looked over at him slightly confused at his reassurance as if he could simply walk in there with no problems and retrieve it. Leon and I both heard something from inside the house and Leon quickly reached his hand out of the window and said “Go back to the car and start it, and wait there.” I did exactly that and waited anxiously. I saw Leon circle back around to the front, open the screen door and kick the other door in. My heart started racing I was so scared. I heard three gun shots and I started to have a panic attack. Seconds later I see Leon run out with my backpack and jump into the already started car and drive off immediately. I didn’t even ask questions because I already knew. This was a side of Leon I’ve never seen before and it was a side of him I didn’t even think he could have. Vince, certainly, but not Leon. As we approached his house again he stopped in the driveway and said “Everything’s okay now.” I asked him “Was there a girl in there?” He said “No. I would’ve saved her.” I said “What about the cops?” Leon looked at me with an expression on his face as if he really wanted to say Are you serious? However, he said “With all the drugs around that house, the cops will just count the bodies and their blessings and close the case as a gang related drug crime. No ties back to you or me.” I wasn’t even freaking out and that’s what scared me. The fact that this feels like something I wanted concerns me and the fact that I feel so relieved concerns me even more. I feel like if Leon didn’t do it I honestly think that I eventually would’ve and that's truly the most concerning feeling about all of this. Leon walked me back into the house and picked up his phone and made a call. I obviously couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Leon said “Hey, it’s me…… I need a favor…… 616 14th ave….. I need you to make it look more gangster and Latin King related….” A few moments later I said “Who was that?” Leon told me everything and at this point after what just occurred I feel like he wouldn’t even hesitate to answer or try to beat around the bush and I was right. He said “A guy named Saul. He’s from New Mexico, that’s where I met him. He often comes to this area, or has guys who work for him in this area. Long story short…. He’s a lawyer with a lot dirty connections. He’s basically a lawyer to keep his guys and connections out of the cage.” I asked him “Why did you call him? I thought you said the killings weren’t going to lead back to us.” He said “I’m just making sure, Lacey.” The whole time Leon spoke in a monotone, depressed like voice. I went over and sat next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me. I asked “How many people have you killed before Leon?” He unwrapped his arm around me and sighed. He admitted “Just a few…….” I could see the tears build up in his eyes as he sighed as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest. I didn’t even think differently of him though, and I think that scared me a bit. I was still just as infatuated with him as I was when I didn’t know anything about him at all. I kissed him on the cheek as tears came down my face and I whispered “I’m sorry I got you into this.” He looked me in the eyes and “Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry that this even happened to you in the first place.” He kissed me on the forhead and our faces were so close together and I could feel the vibe that both of us wnated to kiss but neither of us were ballsy enough to make that move. Then all of the sudden a car screeched as it rolled up in the driveway. We both jumped up when we realized it was Vince. He ran towards the front door and Leon made me get under the bed and he shoved my clothes under there too. I had no time to ask why I had to hide. It wasn’t like we actually hooked up or anything, so there was honestly really nothing to hide from Vince. However, like I mentioned before, Vince is a react first, ask questions later, kind of guy. If he saw me in Leon's bedroom wearing his clothes he would've automatically assumed and started beating up Leon before any explanation could even be expressed. Vince came charging into Leon’s room and he seemed out of breath. He asked “Have you heard from Lacey?” Leon asked why and Vince responded very frustrated and said “Just answer the fucking question.” Leon said “No… Now tell me why.” Vince sighed with disbelief and said "I got a call from Hector last night. He said he saw Lacey walking around disoriented by a 7/11 in Koreatown. That's like only two blocks from here. I went there and couldn't see her anywhere. She was covered in bruises and blood and fucked out of her mind. I went by the school today also and she isn’t there.“ Leon said "What do we do?” Vince said “I’m going to go look for her. Maybe Tran picked her up as revenge. I’m going to kill that chink bastard.” Leon said “You need to think rationally.” Vince said “The only rational thing to do if Tran hurt, or even touched my sister, would be to kill him.” Leon said “But what if he didn’t? You can’t just run up in the Asian side of town with an accusation like that without starting a war that we made ammends to keep from happening between us and them.” Vince said “If he hurt or touched Lacey he’s going to get a lot more than a fucking war. I'm going to kill him and his whole goddamn family if he even touched the only thing in the world that I care about.” Then Vince stormed out and slammed the front door. I peaked my head out from under the bed and said “Why did you lie to him?” Leon shook his head and said “That's a dumb question. Because Vince doesn’t think rationally… If he knew what happened he would’ve done what I just did but a lot sloppier and he wouldn’t have been smart about it. Plus he doesn’t have Saul as a connection. Plus no time would have even existed to explain any of it to him anyway. He would've saw me and you and immediately assumed that we fucked.” So what if he storms through and kills whoever Tran is instead? Leon said “I’m going to call him in 20 minutes and tell him you called me from a payphone.” Twenty minutes go by and Leon makes that phone call and puts it on speaker. Vince said “A payphone from where?” Leon said “7/11 in Koreatown. I just picked her up. Come back to the house, she’s freaking out and she wants you.” I said “I’m in your clothes, do you really expect me to put those back on?” I said pointing to the dirty, blood covered clothes under the bed. He said “No, I’ll tell him I gave a change of clothes, upon your request.” Vince comes charging in just as he did before but instead of frustration he seemed relieved. Then he was frustrated again as he held me and said “What the fuck happened!? Why didn’t you call me? Why did you call Leon? Why didn’t you call me last night? And why are you in Leon’s clothes? And where were you? I checked the 7/11.” I said “I asked Leon for a change of clothes I didn’t want to be in those anymore.” Pointing to the dirty clothes I pulled back out from under the bed to make this more convincing and I continued with "And I was passed out in the back alley." Vince said “Okay.. Now tell me what the fuck happened.” I told him the lie Leon and I went over as we were waiting for him to get back to the house. I said “I ditched school yesterday with some girl I didn’t really know her. I just have a class with her and she asked if I wanted to come along so I did. We hung out all day at Joe’s Creek……. Later that night when we we’re going to walk home we got jumped…. I didn’t know where I was, and I don’t know where she went, I don’t know where she lives. I don't really know anything about her at all to be honest.” Vince looked like he was digesting the story as he was biting his thumbnail and he just stood me up and hugged me again. He said “Let’s go home.” I looked at Leon because I didn’t want to leave him, and he said “I’ll  be over later for dinner.” Vince turned around and hugged him too and said “Thanks for everything you do for my sister, the tutoring and well, everything.” He said “Of course man.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

A couple of days go by and I’ve been a hermit inside my bedroom. The only person who periodically came by to check on me was Leon. Today he knocked on my door and had a gigantic teddy bear in his hands and said “I figured you’d like this.” I laughed and hugged the big teddy bear. Leon sat down at the foot of my bed and said “You know you have to come out of this room eventually.” I said “I know…..” Leon then asked “How are you holding up?” I said “Fine…. How are you holding up?” He smirked and said “I’m fine.” I asked “Do you think Vince believes my story?” Leon said “Well he hasn’t shot up the neighborhood around your school, has he?” I laughed and said “So I guess that’s a yes?” Leon laughed and said “Honestly Lacey, I don’t know. I think he’s just glad you’re okay.” I just smiled and Leon got up, smiled back and walked away. A few moments later I walked down stairs for the first time in a few days and Vince grabs me and hugs me and said “Hey kiddo.” I smiled at him and he said “Your face healed up nicely,” and kind of chuckled and addded a joke to it and said "Well, not that it was any good before." I playfully punched him in the stomach and laughed. Then he asked “Were you scared?” I looked down and shamefully shook my head yes. He brushed my hair behind my ears and said “Well you’re safe now, kiddo.” Later that night the family was suiting up for another “run” and I started to walk back up to my room, and Vince said “Hey Lacey….” I turn around expecting him to finish his sentence. He looks at Dom and Dom shakes his head signaling 'yes’ and Vince turns back around and said “Want to come along?” My heart sank, because of course I wanted to but was I ready for this? Leon looked up at me and smiled. I said “Yes.” Vince said “Well… Suit up.” I said “I don't know what that means.." Vince said “I was joking. You can come but I’m not giving you a gun…. Yet.” As we were walking out the door Leon put his arm around me and said “Congrats. Welcome to the big leagues.” As we were driving down a similar road much like the one from the night of the warehouse incident we pull off to a different secluded warehouse. As we step inside they all start pulling white tarps off of these street racing cars. They were all black and incognito. Definitely the exact opposite of the flashy, colorful street racing cars with tricked out decal that they’re normally in. However, there was a green luminescent light from under the vehicles. I wasn't shocked. There's not way there wasn't at least one thing tricked out about the cars other than the cars themselves. Vince said “Lacey, you’re riding with Leon.” Leon put his arm around me and walked me over to his car. There were four cars in total. Letty and Jesse drove their own and Vince rode with Dom. Leon had his own too, and inside the car was another police scanner just like the one in his normal car. He looked over at me and said “Are you ready?” I said “For what exactly?” He said “Don’t worry, all we have to do is sit, well and drive too. It’ll be okay. We don’t have much to do unless an incident occurs.” Then he reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. The awkward tension began to rise as he didn’t exactly let go of my hand. Believe me, I enjoyed it but at the same time I was nervous. I’m the one who casually broke the connection of our hands and then he put his hand on the stick, put it into gear, and began to drive behind following the rest. He turns the police scanner on and after about twenty minutes of observing police whereabouts he picked up the walkie-talkie and said “No cops within five miles, we’re good.” Then he switched gears and began to drive faster. He glanced over at me and said “You’re being awfully quiet.” I said “I’m just soaking it all in.” He chuckled and said “Well, is it everything you thought it would be?” I said “No, not really. Thought it would be more… exciting.” Leon said “Well, it’s really only exciting for Vince, Dom, and Letty. Jesse and I are really just extras in case anything goes wrong.” I asked “How come Mia never comes with you guys?” He said “Mia doesn’t approve, plus she looks after you. These heists are fairly new, but when you were younger they were still doing shit like this. Someone needed to stay with you. She’ll turn her head and look the other way, and lie for us if police ever got involved, but she doesn’t want to be apart of it anymore than that. Dom doesn’t blame her either.” Meanwhile I can see the truck drive left to right on the road with screeching tires and loud honks. I asked “So why did I get invited to come along?” Leon sighed and said “Do you want the truth?” I said “Well, yeah.” He said “Because everyone knows you’re Vince’s little sister. Everyone knows how the Scaletta mentality works, and you’ve already proven our theory.” I said “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said “That if we don’t properly train you and take you along, that you’re going to be hard-headed and follow us anyway. Rather have you trained and prepared for any circumstance, than absent-mindedly trying to do this shit on your own.” He looked over at me and “You’re very brave though, I’ll give you that. I admire that, actually.” I just kind of smirked. He said “Now, stop being careless, and start being smart, like I know you are. I’m the one who convinced Vince to let you come along tonight. I said you needed it, and Dom actually agreed.” During that conversation is when the whole heist was going down. I think Leon tried to distract me in a way, but the walkie-talkie was going off and I can hear Vince say “I’m going in.” The tires and motion of the truck were even more sparatic than before. I heard one gun shot, and a lot of tire screeching. Then about thirty minutes later we all pull over and get out of the cars, I see Vince hop out of the semi-truck. They all move to the back of the truck and load the cars up with boxes and boxes of what seems to be DVD players, but the boxes obviously do not contain DVD players. I start to walk away while they’re distracted by the boxes to look inside the truck. I see there is no more windshield and the driver on the floor of the truck but there was no blood. Vince came up behind me and said “It was tranq bullet. Now come on.” I got back into the car with Leon and he said “That’s it.” I said “That’s it? What do we do with the boxes?” He said “Take what’s in them out at the garage, and burn the boxes.” I kept repeating “That’s it? Really? Like that’s it?” I said it in a manner of disappointment, I expected it to be more of a top-notch heist, but it didn’t even feel criminal it was so quick and they made it seem really easy. Leon said “Trust me Lacey, sometimes the operation gets really dirty, tonight was just an easy night.” I said “Why tranq bullets?” Leon said “We’re not murderers!” Then there was a pause because Leon remembered who he was talking to and said “Unless, we have to be. Plus, it keeps the FBI away.” I said “For how long though? If we keep doing it over and over, they’re bound to get involved eventually right? I mean they’re organized and pre-meditated heists, whether there’s dead bodies or not.” Leon looked at me as if he knew I was right but he didn’t want to admit it. The same way Vince looked. He said “I know… Nobody listens to me though. I’ve tried telling them this but Dom is the shot caller and Vince will back him up no matter what, and the rest of us just follow to get a cut, but also to protect them if anything goes down.” I said “So, you’re saying the FBI is bound to get involved eventually? Isn’t that dangerous?” He said “Lacey this lifestyle is dangerous regardless, but yes. However, Dom is smart, he knows his way around things,  he would never put himself in a position to where he spends years in prison again. He spent two years for that assault charge and always says he’ll die before he goes back. We'll just move on to a new kind of heist just like before and leave law enforcement on dead trails.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

A couple of days go by, and things began to fall back in routine. I’ve been going to school, doing what I need to do and going home, I haven’t seen Jackie at all, but is it bad that I don’t care? I mean, of course apart of me does because we basically went through the same thing, even though I apparently had a chance to fight back and she didn’t. She could be dead, but the other half of me doesn’t even care because it’s her fault. She got herself into that mess and nearly dragged me into it as well. I received a text from Leon telling me he’s out in the front of the school. I found it very odd because he never picks me up from the front of school. As I was getting into his car I noticed people staring at me, or maybe it was just Leon’s car. After all, it is an expensive, bright yellow Nissan Skyline GT-R imported from Europe with decal all over it. Still made me uncomfortable though to have the feeling of all eyes on me. I got in the car and asked him why he’s picking me up from the front. He said “I was already parked out here, might as well. Your school called me today to set up a conference.” I panicked said “A conference for what, and why did they call you?” He said “I’m the only one they got ahold of. I only answered because I thought it was you, I reocgnized the school number. Anyways, they wanted a conference because there’s apparently rumors about you going around at school… And because you've been skipping a lot.” I said “What?? What are the rumors?” He said “Petty teenage bullshit. How you probably hired someone to scare all your teachers into giving you good grades………And hired those same people to kill Jackie.” I screamed “What?” Leon said “Don’t  worry Lacey, I worked it all out. I told them you didn’t even know a Jackie, and that the whole grade thing just sounds stupid and petty.” I said “No, I mean Jackie is actually dead?” Leon said “I’m having that Saul I told you about ask one of his accomplices to look into it. So, I don’t know yet, and it’s not your fault so don’t even begin to feel that way. She got you into that mess. If she’s alive she’s the one who should be feeling bad for you.” After a short pause he added "And Tara called.... You don't have any diseases." I said "There's always a bright side."   After a few more momets of silence, Leon asked “Do you want to come over to my place? Maybe smoke a little bit, and chill? You seem stressed out.” I said “Yeah, sure.” After we smoked Leon confessed some of his past to me. He said “I started drifting when I was fourteen. I’ve been to a lot of places, and met a lot of people. I’ve never felt as comfortable around anyone as I do with you…..and your family.” I said “Our family.” He chuckled and said “Of course.” I asked “What made you stay with us?” He said “Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I was just tired of running. Whether it be that I was running from something or running to find something, I was just tired of it. However, I am sure glad that I did stay.” I asked “Where all have you been?” He said “A lot of places, I’ve been to Chicago, I did this whole restaurant bus boy job, but at the end of the day, I worked for this guy in the porn industry.” I shot him this look and he said “No, I’ve never participated in the porn industry… I just did some errands for him. Running guns and money and being pretty much a taxi driver for his porn whores. I also stayed in New Orleans for awhile. I went by the name Sean Riley. I was boosting cars and working a chop shop, much like I do now. I’ve also been to New Mexico. Met this kid named Jesse and I sold meth for him. He’s how I met Saul, and gained him as a connection. Those aren’t the only places I’ve been to, but definitely the only ones I’m willing talk about.” I said “How did you meet the doctor’s husband?” He said “Oh, Jax? I did a couple of jobs for him and his crew. They’re from a town called Charming, it’s up north closer to the Nevada border. Very ironic name though considering what goes on in that town.” We went silent for a little bit and he laid on the bed next to me and said “So, tell me more about you..” I laughed but he said “I’m serious. It’s so obvious that you hold a lot of shit in. I think after all we’ve been through together and all I’ve told you so far, you should be able to open up.” I didn't say anything and he said "No pressure, though." I said “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything like that. I just don’t know how to share what’s on my mind, I don’t know where to begin.” He said “Start with what bothers you the most. Or even what excites you the most.” I said “My insecurities. My constant feeling of never being good enough.” He said “Well, I can tell you right now, that you are more than good enough. You are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re intelligent, and good looking. There’s no reason for you to be insecure.” I smiled at him and began to tear up a little. Then he said "Now what excites you the most?" I said "Adventure." He said "What do you consider adventurous?" I said "Rollercoasters, traveling, or pretty much anything that comes with a good story." He just smiled really big at me and said "You're the kind of girl to create good times and a story no matter what the scenario is." I thought to myself that he knows me a lot better than I know me. It felt great to be honest. I continued with more things that I like because I'm so secure with my vulnerabilities and what I am on the inside. I never really talk about these things nor do I really ever have anyone as an outlet to express what I like anyway. I said "I like to read, write, draw, paint, and make shit." He said "So you love art?" I said "More than anything. You can express whatever you want without having to talk about it. Or in art such as writing, you can make up aything, and live in a different world for awhile. Or be a completely different person." He said "I knew you were artsy. You just have that vibe. That old-soul kind of vibe. It's easy to see that you see the world in a different perspective. It's even easier to see that the world is your biggest enemy. Your way of thinking, is other-worldly. It expands far beyond this tiny little snow globe of a planet. You're a down to Mars kind of girl." I never realized he noticed me enough to even have that description of me. I started tearing up but in a joyous way. It felt great knowing that someone can see that side of me. I rested my head down on his chest and held me. As I closed my eyes and began drifting to sleep I began to settle my focus on nothing but his heart beat. Hearing it flutter nervously made me so happy and content with the moment. After nearly a couple hours, we are jolted awake by a phone call. Leon said “It’s Vince.” I didn’t know if that was like a warning to be quiet or just a heads up of who was calling, but I stayed quiet anyway. Besides if Vince was worried about me, he’d call me, not Leon, especially considering he’s unaware just how much time we actually do spend together. So I knew there was nothing to panic about. Leon was quiet pretty much throughout the entire course of the phone call, and I can hear Vince talking, he sounded frustrated but not angry. Leon ends the conversation with a heavy sigh and says “I’ll be right there.” I said “What was all that about?” He said “Some asshole at the garage is trying to pick a fight with Vince over one of the cars him and I worked on. He’s complaining about the brakes which I worked on by myself. I know damn well there isn’t a thing wrong with them, nobody has ever came back with complaints. He’s just trying to make some money by getting a bullshit refund, and Vince knows that’s what he’s trying to do. I mean we worked on the car a month ago, if there was truly something wrong with the brakes he would've came back a long time ago. But now I have to go save the day so Vince doesn’t end up in jail….. Again.” I said “Can I come?” He said “Duh, I wouldn’t leave you at this house alone anyway. I don’t trust or even like my roommates, and I especially don’t like the way they look at you. I can’t wait to move back in with you guys after that room is finished.” I was honestly totally unaware his roommates ever even stared at me. I used to be so observant with the world around me, and ever since Leon and I have become closer, the only thing my world consists of is him. I don’t know what love is but I can tell you that seeing the sparkle in his eyes, and the brightness of his smile makes my heart melt. The way he talks to me and protects me and shows an interest in me and what I’m thinking, and how everything about him from the way he thinks, the way he perceives the world, the way he looks at me, how it makes me feel like the world could end today and I’d be absolutely content knowing that I would be by his side when it did. If that’s not love then I don’t think I’ll ever know love. Once we arrive to the garage, Leon immediately walks over to the asshole customer. Vince notices that I step out of Leon’s car and he hesitantly walks over to me as if he was conflicted about whether he should confront me or stay by Leon’s side just in case anything gets ugly between him and the customer. However, he walks over to me anyway and he said “What were you doing with Leon?” I said “Tutoring.” He said “Oh really? Your teacher called yesterday and said you’re doing excellent and making A’s in the class now.” I said in a condenscending tone “Yeah, thanks to Leon.” Vince gave me this look as if he knew there was way more to this story than what was being said, but the look also expressed that he didn’t want to believe that there was and that he needed proof to make such accusations. So he said “You hungry?” I said “Yeah, why?” He said “What do you mean why? I’m obviously going to feed you, that’s why.” I said “Where we going? That's what I was getting at.” He said “I’m grilling when we get home.” Vince starts to walk away then turns back around and says “Can you stick around here for a bit? I’ll drive you home.” I was hesitant to answer but obviously couldn’t say no nor did I really even want to because I do love spending time with my brother, but I also loved spending time with Leon. Obviously two very different vibes, and I was really feeling Leon’s vibes more. I also figured that Vince just wants me to stick around so he can poke at this Leon thing and try to get more answers from me. After Leon deals with the customer the customer walks into the front of the shop where me and Vince are now, and starts yelling and says “I’m never coming here again! Go fuck yourself.” Then proceeds to storm off outside and Vince grabs the baseball bat under the counter and Leon tries to stop Vince but once Vince makes up his mind there’s no changing it, no matter who you are. Vince walks up to the guys car and smashes the window then opens the door and drags the guy out, slams him on the ground, and nearly hit him too, but Leon tackled Vince. With Leon still holding him back, Vince yells “Good, stay the fuck away from here you fat fuck! And you’re not getting a refund.” The fat guy said “I’m calling the fucking cops.” Vince said “Fantastic, tell them about the coke inside your fucking car as well.” The fat guy puts his phone down and gets back in his car and speeds off. I guess his cocaine was more important that rip-off scam to get money. Leon shoves Vince and said “What the fuck is your problem?” Vince said “I have no problems now. Fat guy's gone.” We all walk back into the shop and Leon says “Come on Lacey.” Vince immediately says “She’s closing the shop with me.” Leon looks at me and back at him and said “Oh, alright….” Then he looks at me smiles a bit and walks off. I’m not too worried about it, because I’ll see him tonight at dinner when we get home. Now the shop is empty, and it’s just me and Vince. He asks “Are you mad at me?” I give him this very puzzled look and said “No….. Why the hell would I be mad at you?” He said “I don’t know, you just don’t talk to me anymore.” I said “You’re the one who doesn’t talk to me anymore. You used to tell me stories all the time about stuff that never really made sense until now, but that storytime would be the highlight of my day. I couldn’t wait for you to come home and tell me those stories.” He laughed and said “Yeah….. Things are just…. Different now.” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Back in the day when we would race it wasn’t even to make a living or a profit. It was just for fun. We’d even race each other. When Dom and I were around fifteen years old, we put together this group, and even Letty was apart of it, and we’d just race for the fuck of it. Some people go to the clubs on Friday nights, but we’d go racing. It was just our thing. But things got more complicated than that after we ran into Johny Tran for the very first time when I was like twenty or so. I didn’t even know there was such thing as a "race territory,” and of course Dom being who he is, that’s where it all began. Racing to make a profit, to keep territory, and remain the powerball of the streets instead of racing just because it was fun. Things got even more out of hand shortly after that when Dom’s dad died. Dom created Race Wars, and the first monthly illegal street race was born three weeks later. Then a week after that first street race Dom went to prison for two years, which left me in charge of our newly built empire. Things got really ugly really fast. I had to do a lot of shit that still haunts me, but I had to do it.“ I just sit quietly waiting for more. Vince says "Do you know why I’m telling you all of this?” I said “No, not really, but I don’t mind.” He laughed a little bit and said “Yeah, I know you don’t, but the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want you to have the opprotunities I didn’t even try to seek when I was your age. I see everything in you that I never had. You have potentional, for both worlds honestly, my world, and the real world. I never really realized how much of a fuck up I was until even the teachers gave up on me. Every day I’d skip class. When I did show up to class it was against my own will because I got caught skipping, but I wouldn’t do any work. I just wanted to sleep. When the teacher wouldn’t let me sleep I’d ask for a bathroom pass and walk around the halls with the pass in my hand for like thirty minutes and walk back into class when there was like fifteen minutes left.” He laughed and continued with “Your principal really hated me. I guess that’s why he has it out for you too. It got to the point where the teachers wouldn’t even hand me an assignment, because they knew it would just be a waste of paper and when I would ask to go to the bathroom they’d tell me to just grab my stuff and go, because they knew exactly what I was going to do.” He paused for a moment and continued with “You’re super smart, I want you to be successful, the legal way. I’m not even asking you to be a doctor or a lawyer, I just want you to have a better life. However, seeing how this life is all you know considering you were raised in it, I wouldn’t expect you to just turn your back on it. You have a loyalty mentality like me. I just want you to have at least the opprotunity to have something better. To have that opprotunity to make a choice. I didn't have that choice. It was this life or nothing. It’s too late for me, but it’s not too late for you. I want to see you be the first Scaletta to walk across that stage and receive a high school diploma. I left a shitty reputation behind in that school, and they’re expecting you to do the same but I want you to prove those fuckers wrong.” I asked him what he did in school when he would skip and the first thing he said changed the subject entirely and it was “I smoked weed on the same corner where you sell it.” Then he shot me this look I was shocked, and he said “Yeah, I know what you’re doing. I have connections too.” He stood up and said “I’m not upset with you, but I just want you to know selling weed and simply smoking it are two very different things, and two very different charges to catch. I want you to be careful, because if I don’t even go to your school nor talk to the high school kids you sell it too, and still can find out what you’re doing so can they.” Then he walked over to me and kissed my on the top of my head and said “Lets go home, I’m starving.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

As we got home Mia had already made dinner because “we were taking too long.” So Vince and I sat down to plates that were already made. Later after dinner I was sitting on the back porch reflecting on the heart to heart Vince and I just had. It was the first one in ages. Leon shortly joins me on the back porch knowing that’s where I like to sit after dinner. He came up and sat next to me on the steps and said “So what did you and Vince do after I left? You guys took awhile.” I said “We had a heart to heart kind of moment. I think there’s been a lot on his mind lately. He talked about a lot of stuff. Mostly just how he wants me to have a better life than him and how he doesn’t exactly want me to be apart of the street racing world. He admitted on the way home that’s one of the reasons he was so hesistant about everything – teaching me to drive, and telling me about what it is you guys do. He had to tell me after I pretty much found out on my own. He knew he couldn’t keep it from me anymore.” Leon just sighed and said “Damn. That’s good though. You guys need more heart to hearts.” I asked “Why do you say that?” He said “Lacey, you’re literally the only reason Vince wakes up in the morning. He used to be so careless until one night he got jumped really badly. Didn’t come home for weeks because he didn’t want you to see him that way. He had to go to the hospital and everything. Ever since then he’s taken a lot more precautions than he normally would, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true. It’s because he doesn’t want to put you through…. Losing him. Not like that. I honestly truly believe if it weren’t for you, Vince wouldn’t be here anymore. He’s very depressed, he just hides it from you, and covers it up with anger.” My heart sank to the floor after Leon told me this, I literally never knew any of this, and Vince carries both of our burdens, he’s supposed to be the strong Scaletta. I couldn’t hold back the tears this time and I let them all out. Leon pulled me in and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped both his arms around me and kissed my head which is something he seem to be doing a lot lately, but I don’t mind and he said “Everything’s going to be okay though. I promise.” The way he made promises to me and the way he always made them sound so reassuring was alluring. I still was sobbing pretty badly and Leon grabbed my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs and smiled and said “I didn’t mean to upset you, Lacey. I’m really sorry.” Then he kissed me on the nose. I was in a whirlwind of emotions at this point, and honestly was not thinking at all, and I leaned in and kissed Leon… On the lips. It lasted a lot longer than I thought it would and some tongue even slipped from both of us. My whole body was tingling, but then abruptly Leon leans back and slowly licks his lips and says “I’m sorry Lacey, but….” I cut him off because I didn’t even want to finish hearing what he had to say, now I was embarrassed. I said “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Then I got up and ran off to my bedroom. I started balling my eyes out, because of what Leon told me and now because I ruined everything between Him and I. Should’ve just let him make the first move, but in all honesty it probably would’ve never happened. I was so blinded by my feelings that I didn’t think of this in terms of reality. I’m sixteen, he’s twenty. He would’ve never made the first move. I should’ve known he’d push away if I did. I literally just want to crawl in bed and stay here for the rest of my life.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

Two weeks go by and Leon and I haven’t really talked to one another besides the casual smile when we walk pass each other. He would smile first attempting to initiate that he isn't mad at me or whatever, but I'm mad at myself, and I figured he only did it to make feel better about the humiliation I brought upon myself. Today, I thought I was alone in the house, but of course Leon was the only other person there. We awkwardly met in the kitchen, he was already in there making food, so I tried to turn away as quickly as possible hoping he didn’t notice my attempt to abruptly exist. However, as I was turning around he said “Lacey!” I turned back around and didn’t say anything and just looked at him all while attempting to hide the hurt I felt inside. He said “You know you don’t have to avoid me..?” I said “I fucked up, and embarassed the hell out of myself, and I can’t take that back. What do you expect?” He said “You didn’t even embarrass yourself.” I said “I obviously did, just save it.” He got a little bit more of a stricter tone and said “You didn’t.” We both paused for a breif moment and he walked closer to me and said in a more quiet tone “I liked the kiss.” I just looked up at him with disbelief to what he just said, because here I am thinking that I totally ruined everything, and that he won’t even want to talk to me anymore. Before I could even say anything though Leon continued and said “It’s just that…. You’re Vince’s little sister….. And you’re….. Sixteen.”  I said “Who cares how old I am? You’re only twenty. That’s a four year difference, it’s not even a big deal. It’s not like you’re fifty-something.” Leon’s facial expression indicated that he agreed with me, and that he understands where I am coming from but his words contradict his expression as he says “But the state of California law says–” I cut him off and said in a very condenscending, sarcastic tone “Ohhhhhhhh, so we follow the law now?” Then Leon admitted “Lacey, I don’t give a shit about the law to be honest, and I know that four years isn’t a big deal… It’s just…” I said “It’s just what then? You care about what people are going to say?” He said “No, but yes. I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea. They don’t know me or you, but they won’t care. They’ll just assume that I’m some pervert who took advantage of you.” I said “But you didn’t take–” He cut me off this time and said “I know I didn’t take advantage of you. You’re the one who kissed me, but like I said nobody is going to care, because in society’s eyes even four years is a "big fucking deal” considering you’re not eighteen.“ I can't even argue and have to agree, because it’s true. So many people would look down on us simply because of the slight age difference. I said "I know…. It’s fucking stupid though. If I was eighteen and you were fourty-two nobody would care, but god forbid you’re literally twenty and I’m sixteen……” Leon just rested his hand on my shoulder because he knew I was getting flustered and frustrated. He said “I don’t care about people and their opinions, but at the same time, I don’t want to be deemed as a pedophile, but also you’re Vince’s little sister.” I said “I hate being titled as Vince’s little sister. I am my own person, and I do not live in his fucking shadow. I make my own decisions, and I’ve paved my own path.” He said “Of course, Lacey. I know that. I meant that Vince would literallly fucking kill me becuase of the fact that you are his little sister.” I said “Well, who said we have to tell anybody?” He just looked up at me with that same facial expression as before signaling that he agrees but as if he can’t agree. He said “Lacey, I just think we should wait on it…” I said “For how long?” He said “Until…… You’re 18….” I just said “Yeah, great. So am I just supposed to sit back and watch girls throw themselves at you for two years? Do you really think after that I’ll feel the same in two years, as if all the whoring around you’re going to do just disappears because I turn eighteen and we can live "happily ever after?”“ I began to storm off but he grabbed my arm and said "But, we don’t have to act like strangers Lacey.” I said “What do you expect Leon? I can’t change the way I feel about you, and quite frankly I don’t want to. We can’t just pretend the kiss and this conversation didn’t happen.” He said “I’m not asking you to forget it happen, and quite frankly, I don’t want to forget it either. I like you, I really do, but it’s a huge risk liking you, Lacey. Going to jail for boosting cars, or even street racing isn’t nearly as bad as getting locked up and portrayed as this evil human being and registering as a "sex offender.” You got to understand where I am coming from, Lacey.” He continued with, “We just can’t be in a relationship right now, but we don’t have to act like strangers. I still want to be there for you, like I was. I don’t want to lose the connection we had.” I said “Me either but it's my fault that we did….” He lifted my chin to advert my eyes to his and he said “You didn't ruin anything, Lacey. So can we hug it out?” I just smiled and gave him a giant squeeze to end the conversation. As days went by, things are still definitely awkward, but I’m just more content at the fact that at least he doesn’t hate me for it and to my surprise he even admitted to liking me too. Of course I don’t want anything bad to happen to Leon if we were to get caught, but I also don’t want to wait two more years either. I'm being a little selfish, but I can't help the way that I feel. I’m always just really frightened at the thought that my feelings for him won’t be the same in two years time, even more terrified thinking that he'll end up falling in love with an older girl with more experience in those two years. I don’t want to lose this feeling ever, but I have to prep myself for that possibility, and that's what's hurting the most. I’ve gotten back into things I was doing before Leon and I began hanging out all the time. It helped distract my mind from it usually even though most of time the thought of him crept it’s way into whatever I was working on, whether it was painting, drawing, or writing. The thought of what him and I could be somehow still managed to express itself in my art, but sometimes I wouldn’t even realize it. I would literally be on auto-piolet and intuned to the art itself without even realizing I interpreted Leon in some form into the art until afterwards. I started trying different forms of art such as crochet. I made myself some cute crocheted halter tops and bikinis, and I even made bracelets and jewlery with other materials. Still didn’t help me completely distract myself from him. I slowly and cautiously opened my brother’s bedroom door and went at ease after I found out he wasn’t in there. I don’t really know what I was doing in there but I started looking through the night stand drawer, and saw a bunch of old pictures and other miscellaneous things including some weed and a bowl for smoking weed. Then my attention went elsewhere and instantly I got an idea when my eyes focused on his guitar. He used to try to teach me how to play when I was younger and when he wasn’t so busy all the time. I still remember a few things, but I decided to pick it up and wing it. I sat back down on the bed and stroked the strings a little bit. Just the vibration and soft, unintelligent melody was so soothing. However to my surprise Vince walks in the room, we both shocked each other. I quickly put the guitar back down in the corner and he said “You don’t have to be a sneak about it. Whenever you want to try it out you can.” I laughed and said “I suck though.” He laughed and said “Not true. Everyone starts somewhere. I wasn’t born a good guitarist, I became one.” He then walked over to the guitar, picked it up and said “Here. You can have it. It’s yours now.” I said “You don’t have to do that.” He said “Lacey, it’s a gift. Just take it. Besides, I like the electric guitar better anyway.” I said “Thank you, Vince.” He said “No problem. You better write some bangers though.” Then we both laughed.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

I stayed late at school on a Friday night simply because my after school activites consisted of hanging out with Leon, and since I can’t really do that anymore I seriously looked for every excuse, and club, or extracurricular activity to participate in just to avoid going home, and being there alone with him. It’s not that I was scared of him or anything like that, even the awkward tension didn’t seem to quite be there anymore. I just knew that if I stayed around him I put myself and him in a bad position. We both are extremely infatuated with each other, and for his sake of not being deemed as a pervert sex offender, we have to refrain from putting each other in those situations where another heat of the moment kiss could take place and that could inevitabley push things further down the road, if you catch my drift. I participated in the art show tonight, I even showcased some of my artwork. I showcased them anonymously though, I’m not really great with constructive criticism, so if there were critics in the crowd who didn’t like my work, at least they wouldn’t know the face of the artist and I didn’t necessarily have to hear about it. Quinn, who I met in the art department who I helped with after school lighting and sound checks for theater, came up to me and said “I know that’s your work over there submitted “anonymously..” I said “Cool.” He asked “Why on earth would you do that? They’re extremely good, and you should hear what people are saying about them.” I said “That’s exactly the reason I anonymously submitted them, Quinn. I didn’t want to hear what people had to say about them.” He said “Even if they were extremely nice things?” I said “Well, those wouldn’t be so bad to hear, but it’s the negative ones I’m afraid of, and the bad always comes with the good. If you want the good, you have to expect the bad, but if you don’t want the bad at all, you have to sacrifice the good.” Quinn laughed and stated “Sometimes I feel like your mind drifts off and you make vague analogies that fit the topic at hand but also issues in your life you don’t explicitly bring up.” I said “You caught me. I have a knack for that.” I said it in a sarcastic tone to hopefully direct the conversation to a new topic, but he was shockingly right about my analogies. Didn’t realize I did them that often, nor did I realize Quinn and I had that many conversations for him to notice such a thing. Maybe he was just a great observer like me. After the artshow I stayed and helped clean up the gym, the sun has completely set by now and I was a little uneasy about walking home through the horrible neighborhoods, that never used to seem that bad, but now I know their stories. I also got eerie flashbacks from the Jackie incident, and how the last time I was in the streets by myself at nighttime, I was in a dazed drug-induced trance covered in blood. By the way, Jackie has still never been found, which doesn’t make this eerie feeling any better. Anyways, that night I ran to Leon as a safety net but now I’m too afraid to even call him to ask him for a ride home. Besides it’s Friday night, so he’s probably fighting right now anyway. Yes – fighting. Leon has always had a passion for mixed martial arts and UFC. His passion landed him an “under the table” job at a sketchy bar that made bets on the fighters. Winner gets the loot. Seriously, nothing my family dabbled in to make quick cash was ever legal. Then again, most outlets for "quick cash" rarely ever are. I started to walk home anyway after I gained the courage. Besides being outside the school with all the lights off seem to set off an even creepier vibe. I’m walking and start to observe my surroundings. I start thinking to myself out loud, “Okay, It’s Friday night, I’m sure a lot of parties are going to be taking place throughout the neighborhoods, expect hollaring, shouting, and a lot of cars. Don’t panic, you can do this, if you can practically Grand Theft Auto Mia’s car, and sneak around a secluded warehouse guarded by armed family members who would shoot first at a shadow in the woods sneaking up on the place, and investigate later, then I can simply walk home from school.” A car pulled up next to me, and as I’m gripping the pocket knife I stole from Vince’s end table drawer, I ease the grip when I realize it was Quinn. He said “I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I noticed you walking home and it’s pretty dark and this is a pretty sketchy area, if you don’t mind, then I won’t mind giving you a ride home.” I said “Actually, yeah, that’ll be good. Thank you.” I didn't particularly trust Quinn, as with anybody really, but I trusted him more the unpredictability of these streets. The car ride between me and Quinn wasn’t awkward, it was just boring to me because we obviously don’t relate on very many levels. However, he is a very nice guy, it’s just that I’m obviously more into perculiar, adverse guys like Leon and Quinn was definitely neither of the two. Quinn was an open book and he talked about everything he liked right off the bat, seriously lacking the enigmas vibe, and he doesn’t seem too adverse as he participates in a lot of school activites so he doesn’t really have time to be bad even if he wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, Quinn is very cute, but his baby face compared to Leon’s scruffy face just didn’t compare. I noticed in his backseat that there was a bucket from Dunkin Donuts and inside the bucket was a rumpled up brown apron, which I assumed was his work apron, and that he worked at Dunkin Donuts, but I wasn’t going to bring it up unless he did. I noticed the bucket said “glazed” on it, and I thought to myself why would he steal and wash out a bucket of donut glaze? He seemed really odd at times. His life story and things that he has interests in seemed rehearsed and he didn't seem too compassionate towards the things he claimed to have passion for. However, as it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen or encountered, I let the thought go. We finally pulled up in front of my house, and Leon, Vince, and Dom are outside drinking beers. As I was hoping for a quick exit Quinn wants to start small talk again and says “So you live in Echo Park? Kind of far from the school.” I said “Yeah, I used to go to the one closer but I had to transfer.” He then asks “Do you know the guys on the porch?” I said “Yeah, one of them is my brother, why?” He said “Just want to make sure you get inside safely.” I laughed and said “That’s not your job, Quinn. Thanks for the ride though.” As I’m walking up the path to the porch I already know they’re going to question me and ask about the guy that dropped me off so I’m already prepared for it. Vince says “Who was that?” I said “Quinn. He helps with a lot of after school activities and drove me home so I didn’t have to walk.” Leon abruptly said “Why didn’t you call me?” Vince gave him this look and then shot it back at me and said “Or me??” I said “I was just going to walk home, he offered.” Vince didn’t seem to care much about Quinn, just my well-being, and after seeing he offered out of “the kindness of his heart” Vince sort of let it go. However, Leon looked enraged and I can obviously assume why he would be, but then again, it was his choice to wait until I turned eighteen. So am I supposed to be lonely and single for two years? Not that I was even interested in Quinn in that manner, but I didn’t care if Leon thought so at the moment. A few hours later, Leon knocks on the doorway of my room, and I look at him and can immediately tell he’s had quite a lot to drink. I said “The door was already opened why’d you knock?” He completely ignored my question and continued to poke the Quinn situation and asked “So who’s Quinn?” I said “I already told you guys, he’s just a kid I met from doing after school stuff. He offered to give me a ride home.” He asked “Do you like him?” I sighed and said “No Leon, I don’t, not like that. Even if I did though, am I not allowed to? You and I are not together, and can’t be for two years. Am I supposed to be the same lonely little girl I've always been and wait on you while you have a fan club of whores who practically jump in your pants every time they see you?” Leon didn’t respond right away and said “I don’t entertain the whore fan club, I don’t want to.” I said “Well that’s good, but Quinn seriously is just a kid who offered me a ride home it’s really not that big of a deal.” I changed the subject and said “So anyways… Do you want me to clean the cuts on your face?” He smirked and said “Sure Dr. Lacey.” As I have Leon’s face gripped in my hand I start to feel the urge to cry, and I seriously do not even know why. Leon asked “Will this shit hurt?” I said “It’ll sting a little bit, but you’ve been drinking so you probably won’t even feel it.” After I clean his face we talk a little bit like we used to. He saw the guitar and started telling me stories about him learning the guitar and I thought to myself “Does he just know how to do everything?” In the middle of the guitar conversation though, he leaped up and ran to my bathroom to puke his brains out. I slowly crept in behind him and started rubbing his back. I do the same thing for Vince and Jesse when they have too much to drink, so it wasn’t even sexual. By this point Leon was slurrig his words, and couldn’t keep his eyes open. I let him lay down in my bed, and I put the bathroom garbage can next to him, he drifted asleep almost instantly, and to keep things from being super awkward in the morning, I borrowed some blankets from the living room couch, and slept on the floor. I know this is pretty much a contradiction from the night I slept in his bed and made him sleep next to me because it was his room, and his bed, I wouldn’t want him sleeping on the floor. However, due to recent events I figured it would just be wiser to sleep on the floor. Also, just in case someone decides they want to walk into my room, and get the wrong idea. Say Vince, for example.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

I wake up to a gentle shake on my shoulder, and I open my eyes to see Leon standing over me. Once I became fully aware of my surroundings upon waking up, Leon sat down next to me on the floor with his back resting against the side of my bed. I sat up and said “You okay?” He said “Yeah. Thanks.” There was a long pause and then he said “So…. What did happen last night? I remember a lot but can’t really remember much after the guitar conversation.” I said “Well, actually the guitar conversation is the last thing we talked about. You threw up and passed out literally in the middle of that conversation.” He said “Damn. Alright. Why didn’t you bring me to my room? Just curious.” I gave him this look and said “Do you think I’m strong enough to carry you princess style down a flight of stairs? You could barely stand and walk over to bed let alone a flight of stairs.” He started to chuckle and said “Thanks for taking care of me. You didn’t have to.” I said “I didn’t really have a choice, but I didn’t mind either way. Besides, there have been times where you’ve helped my drunk ass before.” He laughed and said “Well, that’s different. I’m a man.” I said “So what? Man or woman, tall or short, fat or skinny, if you drink alcohol you’re going to get drunk, and if you drink enough, you’ll get super wasted. It's what's supposed to happen and it happens to everybody.” I changed the topic and asked “So Leon, did you win the fight last night?” He said “Of course I did. Did you expect any less?” Then he grinned really hard. He said “Oh by the way, there’s going to be a party here tonight after the race.” I said “Am I allowed to come to the race?” He said “That’s up to Vince, not me. If it were up to me then yeah, of course you could.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him. Thirty minutes later I saw Vince and I started a casual conversation with him. I’m either really horrible at this or Vince is really good at this, he knew right away I wanted something. He said “What is it Lacey?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “You’re either about to ask me for money, or something else, but you’re going to ask for something, I can tell..” I said “Well damn, alright, but I want to know…. If… I…..” He said “Quit stalling. Just spit it out.” I said “Can I go to the race tonight?” He said “No, not tonight. I’m actually in the race tonight instead of Dom.” I said “So, what’s that mean?” He said “I just… I don’t want you in that environment unless I’m watching you.” I said “So you don’t trust Leon, Dom, Letty, or Jesse?” He said “I never said that. However, there is going to be an after party at the house tonight. You’re more than welcome to hang out with the party, I might let you even drink or smoke.” I said “I smoke anyways.” He looks up at me and said “Oh yeah, I forgot.” I said “Really?” He said “Nah, I know you smoke and drink behind my back. Why wouldn’t you? I’d do the same shit.” I said “So you don’t care about drinking or smoking, but I can’t come watch a race?” He said “Lacey, it’s more than that, half the street racing world in the city shows up to these things. Anything could happen in seconds. I just don’t want you to be there.” I said “Will I ever get to go to one?” “Haven’t you already?” He stated referring to the night I snuck behind his back with Chandler and I said “You know what I mean.” He sighed and said “Yeah. One day.” Vince seemed a lot more frustrated than his usual days. Yes, even a casual Vince was frustrated, but today seemed a bit more than normal. Dom came out the back door, and called to get Vince’s attention and cocked his head. Vince looked back at me and said “Alright kiddo, I got to go. I’ll see you tonight.” Then he grabbed the top of my head and playfully shook it a little bit. He’s been doing that since I was little, that was his way of affection. He’s not the hugs and kisses kind of guy, Vince barely pats people on the shoulder. I started to head back to my room and realized the whole house had left. I figured this was the perfect time to walk around the house in my underwear and listen to loud music, and ya know, do shit you can’t normally do in a house with six other people. After two hours go by and still nobody is home I’ve grown bored as hell. I laid on my bed and rolled over to my back. I started thinking about all kinds of random shit, like people normally do when they’re laying down all by themselves. Then I started thinking about Leon. I thought about him to the point where I inevitabley turned myself on. Then I realized that I’m all alone, I can be as loud as I want and not have the paranoia of someone walking in on me. I sat up and took my shirt off and laid back down. I started to rub my body softly creating goose bumps and making my nipples hard. I closed my eyes and slowly let my hand ease it’s way underneath my panty line. I was instantly wet, I don’t do this often, because I hardley ever get chances like this. I slowly started rubbing my clit and lubricating my fingers. I gradually squeezed two of my fingers inside of me, and back and fourth they went, and faster and faster they got. It was pretty quick, but it felt so good. I started squirting and I knew that I was cumming. I’m not that inexperienced, I know what my body can do. It's the opposite sex and their genitals that I'm inexperienced with. After I finished, I relaxed and listened to my rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. Then I got up and realized that I was so eager to get a quick fix in that I didn’t even lay a towel down. I rolled my eyes because now I had to wash my sheets. Sometimes, I wish I was a guy. Stuff like this would be much easier. I can’t even pleasure myself without having to do chores. I hopped in the shower real quick to wash myself off, then I wrapped a towel around me, grabbed my sheets and headed downstairs to the laundry room which was in a nook room behind the kitchen. As I turned the washer on I heard the back door close and my heart sank. I wasn’t even doing anything anymore, but me washing my sheets in a towel just looks suspicious, and I don’t really want the awkward tension of someone even suspecting that I just got done masturbating. I turn the corner and saw that it was Mia with a bunch of grocery bags. She said “Hey Lacey, what’s up?” I said “Just got out of the shower. Did some laundry. I don’t know. Had a pretty boring day. Are all these groceries for the party tonight?” I tried to abruptly change the topic and get the attention off of me and it worked, she looked up really fast and said “No. What party?” I said “Leon and Vince both said they’re having an after party tonight after the race.” Mia rolled her eyes and said “Ugh, that’s great.” I said “We have parties all the time.” She said “I just wish I got informed. I was going to cook dinner tonight for everyone, but I’m not making food for other people to eat it, fuck that. We’ll just wait 'til tomorrow.” Mia placed both hands on the counter and as I begin walking away she said “So Lacey…” I turned around expecting her to just continue and she laughed and said “So, how’s your love life?” I said “What?” She laughed some more and said “When you used to help me out at the cafe everyday you told me you had a crush on some guy who you said didn’t even know you existed.” I said “Ahhhh, yeah. I remember that.” I actually totally forgot about that, and evidently I was referring to Leon, and at that time I would’ve never imagined him and I would be as close as we are now nor did I ever expect him to develop any sort of feelings for me, so I literally thought the conversation was harmless and that I wouldn’t ever have to bring it up again. Mia said “So does he know you exist now?” I laughed and said “More than you know.” She said “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said “I kind of told him how I felt but he didn’t feel the same way back.” Mia said “I’m sorry. There’s plenty of guys out there Lacey, don’t worry about it.” I only said what I said to get Mia to end the conversation, which she did, but I wasn’t expecting her to say it like that. I don’t want to think about other guys, I only want to think about Leon, and I sort of lied, because Leon does like me back. I couldn’t tell her the complication was our age difference. That would’ve ended very badly and she probably would’ve told Vince about my secret crush and raise a ton of suspicion about who it was and since Leon and I have been undoubetly hanging out, I think Vince would figure it out immediately. I just smirked at her and said “Yeah, I guess.” Then walked away.

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As it gets closer and closer to the party time I start getting ready. I put on a ton of makeup on and a sexy, but classy tube top and some leggings with boots. I want to look older than sixteen tonight. Not for slutty reasons, obviously because I have my eye on only one man, and I’ve only technically been with one guy before, but because I don’t want people to assume I’m sixteen. I for once just want to be treated like an adult. Also, maybe nobody will look at me weird if I’m walking around drinking. After I’m done getting ready I go outside and start rolling blunts for me throughout the night. Vince walks up from the back porch for whatever reason, and I didn’t even hear him pull up. To be honest it scared me and made me jump, causing me to drop four blunts I’ve already rolled. Vince picks them up and says “One of them is mine since I’m the coolest brother in the world.” I said “Oh yeah?” He said “Am I not?” Then laughed and walked away. I’m guessing by his extremely good mood, that he won the race tonight so I didn’t even have to ask. Literally minutes later a bunch of random people show up meaning the party has officially begun. It’s weird because as much as I want to fit into this lifestyle, I already wish people would leave my house. This isn’t even the first big party we’ve thrown here, people on the whole block know us as the loud obnoxious party house. They don’t call the cops on us anymore though. I feel really socially awkward, and kind of just want to sit in my room the whole time, but I told myself I didn’t do all this makeup for no reason. I step outside and smoke the first blunt, I figured this would help me get into the laid back party mood. Jesse plops down next to me on the porch, it’s an odd thing because it’s usually Leon who sits down next to me on the porch. Jesse said “Hey Lacey. Finally apart of the big dogs, huh?” I laughed and said “Haven’t I technically always been?” He said “Well, with a brother like Vince I couldn’t disagree.” I pass him the blunt and he took it and said “Aye, thanks.” It was cool chilling with Jesse. He’s actually the first person I “bought” weed from. I knew I could trust him because literally nobody found out about it, and I thought it was cool since he gave it to me for free and explained to me that as long as I’m safe with it and whatnot he wouldn’t mind smoking me out and giving me weed. He said that it would always be for free because we’re family. Plus, I don’t think Jesse really wanted to take my allowance money from the cafe anyway. The cafe money was really just shared family money that he technicallyy already had in his pockets anyway. Jesse is really chill, and has a hippie flower child type of stoner vibe. It’s honestly the best kind of stoner to surround yourself with. Plus, it’s been awhile since Jesse and I have smoked together or even had a deep conversation together. I broke the silence by asking “So, was the race eventful?” He chuckled and said “Same ol’ same ol’.” I asked “What’s so special about them?” He said “There really isn’t a general specialty to them. It’s all how you perceive it. I know they’re special to Dom because he pratically invented the street racing world here and because he grew up around it with his dad and whatnot. They’re special to Vince because it clears his mind. They’re special to me because it’s cool seeing the cars I worked on win. I’m not sure why they’re special to Leon or Letty, but it is what it is.” There was a bit of a pause and Jesse said “I can see why you’re so eager to get in on the races though. It’s funny because I remember Vince telling me that when he was back in high school he was really eager too.” I just smiled. Jesse then said “Do you want a beer? I won’t tell Vince.” I smiled harder and said “Sure, but Vince already offered me one for tonight anyway.” He said “Ahhhh, Lacey is growing up.” Then we walked into the kitchen and he handed me a Corona. He seemed a bit surprised to see me get the top off on my own without any effort. He laughed and said “Ahhhhh, someone’s done this before.” I playfully laughed and said “Shhhh.” A few minutes later Mia, Dom and Vince walk into the kitchen and Mia practically berated me like she was my mother and said “Lacey Maree is that a beer in your hand!? What are you doing?” Dom laughed and said “Relax Mia, should I remind you of how old you were when you had your first? She’s fine let her drink a lil’. Besides she’s in the safety of her own home. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Vince condenscendingly added on and said “Yeah, I already signed the permission slip.” Then he laughed and did the playful head shake thing again. I’m starting to feel relaxed now and even more so that I finally feel like I’m apart of the whole crew now, but in the back of my mind I’m starting to wonder more and more where Leon is and what he’s doing. I walk into the living room and instantly notice Leon sitting down in the chair in the living room with a blonde, trampy looking skank on his lap. I recognized her as one of his ex-girlfriends named Monica, who Vince has also had his fair share of time with. She’s a homie hopping whore. Leon didn’t look too interested which was odd, but it’s still disrespectful. He knows I’m here and could see the shit as easily as I just did. He knows I like him and he said he liked me too just the other day and then does this!? It’s not even just the fact that there’s a skank on his lap. If we have to wait two years, I expected him to have his fun with other girls, and if the opprotuity arose for me to do the same with a guy, I’d probably take it. It’s the fact that this is being done right in front of me. In my house in my living room. I stood there staring for God knows how long then Leon makes eye contact with me. He had to do a double take and then called out "Lacey!” I saw him practically push the girl to the floor and start coming my direction, but I don’t even care for his explanation or excuses at the moment. I ran through the crowd of people as fast as I could so he couldn’t get to me. There was so many people in the house you have people practically breathing down your neck, literally. I noticed that I couldn’t see him at all anymore through all the strange faces. I grabbed a bottle of Patron off of the kitchen island and walked outside where the party didn’t seem too heavy. There were quite a few people out here but not nearly as many as there were inside. I would sit on the hammock but a random couple is laying in it which makes me want to burn it and buy a new one. About an hour, I believe, passes and I realized that I may’ve had way too much to drink plus the marijuana wasn’t helping. I suddenly felt the urge that I had to throw up so I ran to the door, and fought my way through the blurry crowd of people and went into the downstairs bathroom. I don't really know why I didn't just puke in the grass outside. I blacked out for the first time in my life because I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t even remember throwing up. I just woke up to Leon standing over me. I saw him grab the bottle of Patron from my hands and place it on the counter and lifted me up and carried me to my room. Who knows how long I was laying on that bathroom floor. The next afternoon I wake up to two gatorades on my nightstand and a note from Leon saying You probably need these and call me when you’re awake. I said to myself Oh so I’m supposed to forgive you because you bought me gatorade? I didn’t want to call him. I didn’t want to talk to him. Okay, who am I kidding? Of course I wanted to talk to him. I loved talking to him. Plus, I do want to hear his explanation now that I’m sober and not so heated anymore. I texted him instead of calling him though to make it seem as if I didn’t care that much. A couple minutes went by and then he’s walking into my room. I didn’t sit up or even pretend to care that he was there. He said “I want to explain myself.” I chuckled and said “Why?” He said “Because I owe it to you.” I said “You don’t owe me shit.” He said “Well after last night, I should explain.” I said “What about last night?” I was trying to throw the impression that I don’t remember anything even though I remember everything that set me off distinctively. He said “The girl… Sitting on my lap.” I said “Oh yeah.” He said “You’re never going to let it go, are you?” At this point I figured it was silly to lie to myself and pretend like it didn’t bother me and lie to him and pretend like I don’t remember. I only had one beer at that point, of course I remembered. It was the reason I decided to down a bottle of Patron and black out. I sat up and sighed and said “Leon, I’m not holding on to anything, and I’m not mad. How can I be mad if you’re not my boyfriend? There’s nothing I can do about some bimbo on your lap. It was just the fact that it happened in our fucking living room, in our fucking house just a couple of days after you confessed you had the same feelings I do. How am I supposed to react? It did hurt a little.” He said “I don’t blame you for being pissed off and salty about it at all. It’s just that Vince "hooked” her up with me. If I declined he would’ve been even more suspicious and think something was really up between me and you.“ I was confused at him saying this and I said "Wait what?” He said “Vince thinks there’s something going on between us.” I said “He actually said that?” Leon said “Not directly or in so many words but he’s been asking a lot of questions implying that he suspects it. Questions such as "So you and Lacey have been spending a lot of time together, huh?" Vince is a pretty straight foraward guy so when he asks questions like that it’s because he’s trying to get to the bottom of something. Him hooking me up with Monica was a test.” I asked “Did you really hook up with her?” He said “No! I would never hook up with her again. She’s just a thirsty slut. I wouldn’t lie to you Lacey, I never have and I never will. I won’t start now. I did however tell Vince that we did to get him off my back. If he thinks I actually hooked up with her he won’t be so suspcious about me and you anymore.” I said “True. Plus if he really thought we were dating or something he would’ve already killed you for cheating on me.” We both started laughing, but my laugh quickly faded away and I said "Even if he was still suspicious it's not like it truly matters anyway, since we really aren't together." He said “Listen, I am really, really sorry about the whole thing. I know there’s no way I can take it back and make you unsee what you saw, but I just felt like I had to explain that it truly wasn’t what it looked like. She got super drunk, and I sent her home with her friends. That’s literally the end of it.” I said “I believe you. I just…. Don’t let it happen again. Even though we’re not together I don’t want to see that shit.” He said in a tone as if he was admitting something and said “Yeah, me either,” and looked up at me. He was most likely referring to Quinn. Leon and I actually sat in my room for awhile and started to talk like we used to. We actually shared some good laughs. As he was walking out I said “Hey Leon, do you want to come to this stupid play at school tonight? I’m going to be in it and the rest of the family is coming.” He said “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I just smiled really big. He always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He added “I didn’t strike you as the kind of person to really be into that sorta thing though. You're artsy, but you in a play? I just don't see it.” I said “I’m not really. I kind of got pestered into doing it and couldn’t really say no.” He laughed and said “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great regardless.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:

Dear Diary, I haven’t written in you in such a long time because I haven’t needed to. Leon became my real life diary with actual feedback. It was amazing. It was everything I could ever ask for. However, after I confessed to him how I felt we sort of drifted apart from each other. The bond we had for awhile seemed to fade away. However though, he admitted to feeling the same way about me. Our age difference was the only problem, well and my brother. So I guess I’m back to resorting to you with my problems. I’m just worried that in two years time we won’t feel the same way we do now. I really wish I could go back to the days when I barely knew anything about him. I wish I could be that fifteen year old girl again with just a little crush. Things were way more simple back then. I miss the feeling I would get when he walked by, and I don’t feel that anymore. Then again, him and I never really talked back then at all so I did gain a lot. I thought being sixteen was going to change things for me. I thought the family would start respecting me and treat me more like an adult, and it seemingly worked out that way for awhile, until after I told Leon how I felt and it seemed as if I back tracked to being fifteen again. I sometimes wish I could go even further back to when I was a little girl. When Vince would give me underdogs on the swing set, when he’d read me stories to bed, and when being on top of the world was simply sitting on his shoulders. I daresay that the euphoric feeling I got from sitting on Vince’s shoulders will never again exist within me. I miss family game nights, and family movie nights. Being sixteen sucks. The older I get the more I realize how shitty this life and the world can be, and here I was in such a rush to grow up and be an adult.

There is nothing to really even talk about when it comes to the play. I did farely well I suppose, but I was nervous as hell knowing my whole family was in the crowd watching me. I got so used to them not being around or paying this much attention to me. After the play I ran backstage to change, and then I met my family who all shared their congratulations with me. Vince hugged me and said “You were great, kiddo.” Then out of nowhere Quinn walked over to me and my family. I hated when the friends I had during my school hours felt like they could just walk up to my family. I mostly hated the awkward confrontation and the awkward questions I get from the said friend afterwards. Quinn said “You were great Lacey.” Vince said “And you are..?” Quinn responded with “I’m Quinn. Lacey’s friend. I take it you’re the brother.” Vince said “Yep.” Vince wasn’t actually interested in getting to know him or coverse with him he just said what he did to be a dick and to be intimidating. For once, I didn’t mind it. Mia said “Well, it’s nice to meet you Quinn,” and then she shot me this playful look and I thought to myself shit she thinks this is a guy that I like. Right after thinking that thought I look over to Leon who’s heavily trying to avoid looking this direction for obvious reasons and for those same obvious reasons he has to pretend not to care that Quinn is standing next to me. Dom walks over and hugs me tightly and said “I’m proud of you Lacey, you’ve always been quite the artist of the family, keep that up. Don’t ever lose sight of that no matter what.” I said “Of course not.” Then smiled. He gathered the gang up and they started to head out. I've gotten so used to that. Vince walked over to me and said “Want a ride home?” I said “I fucking wish I could go home. I have to stay here and help clean up.” Vince said “Alright, just call me if you need me, we’re not going too far tonight.” I said “Alright, I will.” As I’m cleaning one of the makeup stations Quinn walks up to me and said “So, you have an interesting family.” I said “Yep.” He said “So, I’m guessing you need a ride home since they all left you?” I snapped back and said “They didn’t leave me. I can call them whenever I want.” He said “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I was just saying that in hopes that you would say you needed a ride so I could surprise you with a cheap date to Burger King.” I began to laugh at his request but then I started to think to myself that Quinn isn’t that ugly. He’s your pretty average preppy looking guy. He wasn’t my type by any means, but still, I give credit to where it’s due. I also thought that if Leon and I can’t be together for two more years, where’s the harm in having some fun? I know damn well he’s going to fuck other girls in the meantime anyway. So why not? I said “You know what… That actually sounds good. Sure.” He said “Wow, really? Alright then, it’s a date.” I want to be the one calling the shots here so I said “Woah, woah, woah. Lets not get ahead of ourselves now. It’s not a date. It’s just two friends eating food together.” He said “Alright, I’ll take it.” After we ate, we got back in the car and I was honestly so disappointed. It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. Well, I haven’t been on very many but I don’t think it could get any worse or anymore boring than this. Quinn and I literally have nothing in common. He didn’t talk about anything I could even pretend to be interested in. We don’t have the same music type either. We couldn’t even talk about something as simple as music. I suppose he’s probably thinking the same thing I am though. I started talking about cars and racing and naming car parts and he had no idea what I was talking about at all. The whole time I was talking and making jokes, I saw this blank expression in Quinn's eyes that contradicted the smile on his lips. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about nor did he care. The whole time I just kept thinking to myself Leon would get it. I decided to talk about something we clearly had in common seeing how that’s how we met– art! Then he confessed that he’s only taking art classes because he joined the school late after his parents were in a car accident and all the cooler elective classes were already filled up. I did notice that he didn’t mention who he was living with now, since he mentioned his parents died in the accident, but I wasn’t going to ask. Kind of rude, in my opinion. Anyways, this entire night was a total drag. Quinn and I pull up to my house, finally, and he said “It doesn’t look like anyone is home. Do you want me to stay here with you?” I was seriously baffled by his question. Does he think I’m some fragile princess who’s never been home alone before, and was this seriously an attempt to get in my room after only one cheap ass dinner gathering at Burger King? I said “No, that won’t be necessary. Goodbye now.” He leaned in and abruptly kissed me and I pushed him off and said “What the fuck is your problem?” I opened the car door and said “Go fuck yourself!” Every part of me that wanted to feel bad for him just didn’t exist. Who the hell does he think he is? What makes him think he can just kiss me after one pathetic date at Burger King? I specifically even told him that it wasn’t even a date it was just two friends eating food together. What a cocky asshole. After being home for nearly thirty minutes I heard a door slam downstairs. I thought it was them coming home, but after I heard no noises or usual chatter I started to get an uneasy feeling. I immediately ran across the hall to my brother’s room and grabbed the baseball bat next to his bed. My mind wandered to who it could be. One of my family’s enemies? Would they hurt me? Wait, that’s a stupid question Lacey, they’d use you as leverage if anything. I thought to myself that this seriously can’t be happening right now. Lacey, you have to be smart about this. I searched my brother’s room high and low, and finally found a gun in the top of his closet. I knew I’d find one in here. I knew I would. I remember everything from watching YouTube how-to videos all about guns and shit. I loaded it and told myself this was obviously my best defense, and so far I’m currently undetected and I have a gun which means I currently have an advantage. I look down the stairs and I don’t hear or see anyone at all. I start to slowly walk down and head towards the kitchen since that’s where the slam came from. Nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary I knew damn well it wasn’t just the wind or my imagination. Every bitch that’s ever said that in movies ends up dying right after they say that shit and let their guard down. All of the sudden someone grabs me from behind but I was able to bite their hand and maneuver my way out of their grip. I dropped the fucking gun and now whoever this intruder is has it because the risk of trying to grab it was too high to be grabbed by them again. I had to be snappy with the decision making. I knew I had to run. So I did. I ran back up to Vince’s room and locked the door. I knew the baseball bat was my only weapon choice, but seeing how they have the gun and I have the bat I have a serious disadvantage now. I would only have one chance with what had to be a sneak attack to really fuck this person up before they shoot me. I started thinking to myself, that I should’ve ran to my room and climbed out the window on to the roof. I’d take my chances jumping off the roof than staying in this house. I couldnt of ran out of the kitchen door, I noticed it was locked. The time it would take to stop to unlock it would be enough time for them to grab me again. So that really wasn’t an option. The person started banging at the door and I was so scared for my life. Just as I was about to say my prayers and acccept the fact that I might die tonight I notice something poking out from Vince’s sheets. He had a shotgun under his mattress. I thought to myself “Jesus Christ, thank you Vince you crazy gun enthusiast bastard.” I loaded it and just as I was about to shoot at the door the person barges in and punches me. I fall to the floor and they try to rip my leggings off. My mouth was bleeding so bad and my face felt numb. I was able to move to the side and punch the person in the face with the little force I could manage. Which was a little effective they bounced back enough for me to get my feet free so I leapt over to the shotgun and didn’t even think twice about pulling the trigger. I shot the person in the chest and watched them fall to their knees then face first to the floor. I flipped them over and began to stab him with Vince’s pocket knife to really make sure the fucker was dead. Pure rage took over and I went overboard on the stabbing and when I came to, I realized what I had just done. I just fucking murdered a human being. A vile human being, who deserved it, but still. I start hyperventilating and drop the pocket knife when I see a pool of blood form and start to stain the carpet. I had blood all over my hands and wrists and clothes. I kneeled back down on the ground next to the person and and started to lift the mask off. My heart sank when I saw that is was Quinn. I’ve never killed anyone before or felt so relieved by murder. Well, I actually felt a sense of relief when Leon murdered the fuckers who drugged me, but then it was more so a sense of vengence. I also realized that there’s no way we could cover this up as easily as Leon did. It happened in my brother’s room! I freak out. I called Leon because he’s clearly gotten away with murder before, except for, Vince answered. He said “Jesus Christ Lacey are you okay?” I said “No.” He said  "Where the fuck are you?“ I said "I’m at home….” He said “What? We got a text saying you needed our help at the school.” I remembered setting my phone down in the living room on a charger and realized that Quinn probably took it and sent that so my family wouldn’t have came home while he was doing all he wanted to do to me. I said “I didn’t send that.” He said “So what’s wrong? And who did?” I said “Someone broke into the house and I was attacked.” Vince shouts at this point and says “What!? Where are they now? Lacey are you okay? Are they still there? We’re on our way.” I said “Please stay on the phone with me Vince I’m so scared.” He said “Lacey what happened? Where are they?” I started crying because I didn’t know how to put in words what just happened, especially over the phone. They’ll see for themselves when they get home and it’ll all speak for itself. At this point I feel completely numb. I’m just sitting near the doorway of Vince’s room, staring at the lifeless body that used to be Quinn. Why did he want to hurt me? Was it because I rejected his kiss and it sent him over the psychopathic edge? Or was this his agenda the whole time? Vince says “Lacey the phone is about to die but we’re right down the road.” Then he hung up. They all came running in the house screaming my name I was too numb and out of it to respond. All of the sudden they all came running up the stairs and walked into Vince’s room since they saw me sitting there. Vince had the most shocked expression on his face that I have ever seen before. He looked at the dead body on the floor of his bedroom and saw two of his guns and his pocket knife. They all had the most shocked expressions on their faces that I have never seen before. Leon kneels down next to me, I was shaking at this point and couldn’t speak. Leon runs across the hall into my room and grabs me a towel and wraps it around me. Vince then kneels down next to me and said “Are you okay?” I couldn’t snap out of the trance I was in and Vince softly shouted “Lacey!” I said “I’m okay.” Leon said “She needs to lie down before she hyperventilates goes into shock.” Vince carries me downstairs to the couch. They all follow and sit in the living room shocked and quiet. Jesse said “What do we do? Call the cops?” Dom said “No.” Mia said “Why not!? It’s not like we did anything wrong, he broke in here and tried to hurt Lacey. She was just defending herself.” Dom shouts back “The cops can’t come around here, Mia. They just can’t!” Mia said “Then what the fuck do we do, Dom?” I look over to Leon thinking maybe he’ll get the hint in my eyes and call this Saul and have him reach out to his connections, but just then Vince speaks and says “I have an idea.” Everyone eagerly looked over to him including myself. He said “There’s a place we can bury the body. The same place we burried Tran’s cousin.” Dom said “You’re not supposed to say that shit, man.” Vince said “As if it fucking matters anymore, Dom. The only person who didn’t know about it was her,” he says as he points to me. Leon said “I’ll call Saul and have him get his connections involed for the mess upstairs.” I thought to myself it’s a good thing he mentioned him otherwise I would’ve.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:

A couple of days go by and everything happened as it normally would. Well, if you were in my family, and used to committing such crimes. Leon’s connections through Saul came into the house and ripped up Vince’s carpet, somehow managed to clean the wood underneath, and it was like as if it never even happened. Not one drop of blood left anywhere in the room, or the house for that matter. Watching Vince, Leon, Jesse and Dom dig and drop Quinn’s lifeless body into a hole in the ground would make anybody else feel maybe frightened, paranoid, or guilty. To me however, I didn’t feel any of that. In fact, I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so numb to the whole situation. If anything I felt relieved that it was over, with what felt like a snap of the finger. The drive there and back was silent. I sat in the backseat with Vince as he held me tightly, as if he didn’t want me to even slip through his fingers just a tad bit. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t scared– I don’t know what he was to be honest. Once we got home, I ran straight up the stairs to the shower. Everyone else went quietly to their rooms as well. I think we all just want to forget this ever happened. These past few days have been nightmareish. I thought that things would get better in time, even if it was just a little bit of time but I still feel numb. I feel like the world has stopped spinning and it sat still and just gave up. I decided to crawl out of bed for once for something other than a shower or to use the restroom. I needed fresh air, but instead of walking outside my room and having to face everyone, I did what I always do. I climbed out my window and sat on the roof. The roof of my house was a sacred place for me. It was a place for me to be alone, and be with just my thoughts, and I could even see the LA horizon. Sunsets were my favorite. As I’m rolling a blunt to smoke I start to hear chatter from down below, as I listen in I could hear that it was Leon and Vince talking about me, so of course I chimed in. I could hear Vince say in what sounded like a continuation of a conversation that was already started inside the house, “What I still don’t understand is why she called you.” Leon said “What’s that supposed to mean?” Vince replied “I don’t know you tell me.” Leon said “Look man, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Vince said "The fucking truth." Leon didn't respond to this but I'm assuming he shot Vince a look and Vince said “It’s just that ever since you’ve been tutoring her she hasn’t really talked to me and all she cares about is you pretty much. Even if she doesn't explicitly say it, it's kind of obvious. I mean even that time she got jumped, she called you. I thought to myself, okay it’s reasonable, you were a lot closer to the area, but this time she had just killed a human being and her first thought is to call you instead of me?” Leon laughed under his breath and said “Look man, like I said, I don’t know why she called me that night, or the night she got jumped. I don't know what you want me to tell you.” Vince responded more angrily and straight forward and asked “Is there anything I should know about that's going on between you two?” Leon snapped back and said “Jesus Christ Vince, No!” Vince said “Then why are you getting all defensive?” Leon snapped back even harder and said “Fuck you, I’m not. I just don’t like accusations or interrogations so if you got something on your fucking mind, spit it out.” Vince didn’t respond after this but all of the sudden I hear disembodied grunt noises and then see both of them fall to the ground, they are now in sight and I can see that Vince is on top of Leon punching him in the face. I don’t know what for though. Technically there is legitimately nothing going on between me and Leon and the little thing that did occur, Vince can’t prove it. Vince never thinks rationally though. However, Vince is extraordinarily smart, way smarter than he may seem or what people give him credit for. He gets these hunches all the time about everything and his hunches are very rarely ever wrong, and as we can see, this hunch technically really wasn’t. Dom comes out of nowhere and rips Vince off of Leon and Vince just storms off and I could hear his car start and screech down the road all while Dom is lifting Leon up making sure he’s alright. Dom said to Leon “What the hell was that all about?” Leon said “I’m not really sure exactly.” I couldn't tell if Leon really wasn't sure why Vince snapped or if he just didn't want to imply it had something to do with me. I heard Mia’s voice in the background say “Someone should go check on Lacey.” I snap back to reality and realize I'm not just a narrator in a movie overseeing an event and that I have to scram to my window as silently as possible, without anyone seeing me. I climbed through the window and shut it and laid back down just in time to make it look like I never moved, as the door flies open, and to my surprise it’s Letty. She doesn’t say anything at first, she just stands there, sighs, then drags my bean bag chair to the middle of my room, sits, and stares again. I sit up a little bit and stare back at her. She’s staring at me like she wants me to say something and break the silence, but I have no idea what she wants me to even say. She began to talk and said “I’m guessing you already know the question I’m going to ask you……. So just tell me how you are doing.” I said “Fine… I guess.” She said “That doesn’t sound too reassuring.” I said “How am I supposed to feel?” She just glances over at me, then says “Do you want to talk about it?” I abruptly said “Nope. I do not. I want to forget it ever happened.” She said “If that weren’t a mentally unhealthy option, I’d let you do that, but you can’t just forget it ever happened. You got to face the world and you got to own up to it. I mean I’m not suggesting you see a therapist or anything like that but you can’t beat yourself up over something that needed to be done. It was kill or be killed, right? You should own that shit and be proud that motherfucker can’t hurt anybody else, all because you were strong enough to end it. So, like I said; face the world, Lacey.” I said “What if I’m not ready to do that?” She bluntly said “Then you’ll never be.” Those words did not settle right with me and they weighed heavily on my chest. I said “Well, what do you suggest?” Letty said “Well, for starters, you can start breaking the rules for once." I said "Haven't I already done that? You know, getting away with murder and all?" She looked at me as if she wanted to call me a smart ass and tell me to stop being condescending but she said "That's not what I meant. I was referring to Vince's rules. Vince isn’t your father, he’s the only one telling you that you can’t come. The rest of us would’ve brought you along ages ago. So come to the race tonight with us.” After Letty walks out I hop in the shower and then sat on the bean bag chair wrapped in my towel afterwards. I sat there contemplating whether or not I even wanted to go to the race tonight. What was Letty going to do? Force me? Months ago, being invited along to the race would be a dream come true, and now I can honestly see that it's really not that big of a deal. Also, I was a bit too comfortable in my room now, after not leaving it for days. I felt anxious about walking around my own house. I also start to think about this kind of lifestyle in general. It only gets worse from here, right? I’m only sixteen years old and I’ve killed someone, and instead of doing the normal thing and calling the police after an intruder tried to rape me, we burried the body ourselves. That means if I’m ever in trouble, for any reason at all, I can’t call the police. I have to handle it myself. I have to be strong enough and wise enough to know what to do in those types of situations. The scariest thought of it all was, will I ever be? My door opened and it interrupted my train of thought and I stand and turn to face Leon who quickly glances down as if he was the one embarrassed to find me in a towel and he said “Can I talk to you?” I walk over to the doorway and said “If we’re not in a relationship, you should probably knock.” Then I shut the door. It wasn’t in a rude way, and it’s not like I slammed the door, I just shut it like any normal person would close a door at any ordinary circumstance. I immediately regretted it and felt like shit afterwards regardless, but at the same time I didn’t. Too many emotions to feel all at once and it made me feel like I just wanted to sleep for a month straight. As I nervously walk down the stairs I run into Mia and she says “You look pretty. Are you ready to go?” I said “You already knew I’m coming?” She said “We all do– except Vince. He’ll find out as soon as he meets us there though.” I said as Mia started walking down the hall “Is he going to be mad?” Mia stopped and turned around and slouched her shoulder at my question, and responded with “Lacey…… Who cares? He needs to stop smothering you. As much as I don’t want to necessarily be apart of this life either, I am. I need to be smart and taught and experienced with this life if shit ever goes down. Inevitably, you are part of this life too and you as well need to know the things we do, and be experienced.” I didn’t know Mia ever felt or thought this way. I wanted to change the topic and I was also extremely curious at this point what Leon wanted to talk about so I asked “Where’s Leon?” In hopes for it to be an exit strategy and to divert the attention to a different topic, and she responds with “Don’t worry about silly boys tonight, Lacey. It’s a girl’s night.” I said “With me, you, and who?” She said “Letty! Who else?” I said “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to have a quote on quote girl’s night.” Letty came up behind us, wrapped her arms around us both, looked at me and said “I’m not, thanks for noticing. Let’s go.” As we're sitting at the race surrounded by hundreds of strange faces, I feel a little uneasy. I wasn't behind the scenes like last time with Chandler, this time I was with the Toretto crew and part of the script. Letty looked over at me and Mia and said "I'm gonna go talk to Leon about the borders for the location tonight." She left me and Mia alone which means she's going to start awkward conversation. She had an annoying knack of making any conversation with her, despite the topic, pretty much awkward. She sat on the hood of Letty's car and tapped her hand next to her signaling for me to do the same. She said "Soooooo." I condenscendingly raised my eyebrows at her and expected her to finish her sentence without me having to do much talking. She did and asked "So what's with you and Leon?" I was totally shocked by this question. Why would she even ask something like this? I responded "Nothing! Why would you even ask that?" She looked at me like she wanted to say that I was stupid or something and said "It's pretty obvious you have a crush on him the way you stare at him in awe like an alien spacecraft is landing right in front of you, and the way your eyes light up when anyone even mentions his name." I was enraged at this point. How fucking dare she stick her nose where it doesn't belong. There's nothing going on between me and Leon, and even if there was it's none of her goddamn business. Is she the one who started raising suspicion and dropped the idea in Vince's head? She's starting drama for no reason. I've never had any personal beef with anyone in the family, but she's practically asking to be the first. I responded angrily and said "That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it?" I was trying to keep my cool even though on the inside I wanted to claw her fucking eyes out. She said "No, it goes exactly like that." I snapped after that response and said "Who fucking cares if I have a little crush on him? I'm allowed to think somebody is attractive without it being any more than that. You're honestly trying to create something out of nothing, and even if there was something going on between me and Leon it's none of your goddamn business. But there isn't so quit assuming. You never even talk to me, or Leon, how would you even know what's going on in our lives behind closed doors to make such an accusation?" Mia looked appalled by my response as if she didn't think I would stand up for myself in that manner. She said "Okay... I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to... Offend you." Before I could say anything I saw Letty and Leon approaching us which means the conversation definitely should come to a halt. I'm sure Leon could tell how pissed off I was because I felt heated and enraged on the inside. I could only imagine how red my face must have been due to the anger and slight embarassment. He asked me "You okay, Lacey?" I wasn't ready to answer because I could feel that irritating throat pain that signaled I was going to choke on my words from holding back the anger tears, but it didn't matter because before I could Dom called Leon over and he walked away. I could feel Mia's eyes piercing the back of my skull as she watched me watch him walk away. Later that night in the kitchen, Mia said "I am really sorry for just assuming there was something more with you and Leon." I said "He's just my friend.... I don't have very many. I don't want you to scare him away if he finds out I have a crush on him. He'll just think I'm some immature high school girl or something." I was really milking this lie to get Mia to leave the conversation alone. She said "I wasn't going to say anything either way, I just thought it was cute you have a little crush on him, but I am sorry for the way I approached the topic." She walked off and I started to feel bad for reacting the way that I did. Mia also has a knack for manipulating in some ways, and she can play with her words to make you feel however she wants you to feel. In this circumstance, it was guilt, and it worked. However, on the other hand I don't see why she even felt the need to bring it up in the first place, especially in a situation where anyone could overhear the conversation. Also, what does she mean she thinks it's cute that I have a crush on Leon? Would she think the same if she knew Leon had a crush on me too? Or if there was an actual secret intiate relationship going on between us? Probably not. So, the thought of that made me even more vexed. She knows there's an age difference, although it isn't drastic, it's still an age difference and I'm not eighteen. That's literally the only thing keeping us from being together, so the fact that she said the crush was cute sent rage up my spine. She wouldn't think it was so cute if the roles were reversed and knew Leon, the twenty year old liked me too.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:

I went up to my room to lay down, and try to get myself over this sudden hatred for Mia, and then there was a knock at my door. I open it and it was Leon, and oddly enough, for once I wasn't expecting him because he usually doesn't come into my room this late at night so the suspicions don't rise, so it kind of threw me off a little bit. He said "Can I come in? I knocked this time." I laughed and said "Of course." As he walks in he sits down in the bean bag chair still in the middle of the room where Letty left it and he looked a little off. Something was bugging him but I'm not sure what it could be. He seemed fine a few hours ago. I sat down on the floor next to him and asked "Is everything okay?" He didn't make eye contact with me and instead, continued to look down at his feet and responded "It's just that... I... Never mind." I sat there puzzled because I didn't know what to do or how to respond. It's ususally him talking to me when I'm down and I'm rarely ever in these kinds of positions for anyone. He changed the subject though and asked "What are you up to tonight?" I said "this," as I pull my sketchbook off the desk of a drawing I was working on earlier today that I was legitimately planning on finishing tonight. He said "Looks nice." I said "Thanks." The awkward tension seemed a bit more heavy as the conversation didn't seem real and I can tell something was seriously wrong with him. He seemed very down, just by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, and his dead eyesight; staring at nothing and avoiding eye contact. I asked him "Are you sure everything's okay?" I wasn't expecting a genuine answer, but I asked just so he would get the hint that I'm aware something is really bugging him. He didn't respond right away, but instead he got up and started walking to the door, I was assuming he was going to leave, but he closed the door and stayed in my room. At this point I was anxious, not because Leon made me uncomfortable in any way, but because I have no idea where this is going and I don't like being put in the middle of situations right off the bat that could potentially go wrong. Not implying that this particular situation could go wrong, because I was content with Leon's prescence, I just was unsure about the motives at this point, and just him being in my room this late at night to begin with has already thrown me off. Leon reached for my hand and pulled me up from the floor as he sat down on my TV stand so we could be more eye-to-eye. He said "I've been thinking a lot lately." I didn't know what that meant even though I think I'm starting to get the idea. I didn't respond, and he grabbed both of my hands and rested them in his lap. He continued and said "I've been thinking about you." My heart started to flutter a mile a minute and I said "oh," simply because I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to respond because I wasn't expecting this at all. He continued and said "Ever since that night when you.. You know... I couldn't help but think to myself what if he had killed you? Or kidnapped you? All these scenarios kept playing in my head of what could've happened that night, and they all ended with "what if I never see you again?" I couldn't bare even the thought of that. I really, really like you. That night made me realize that, we aren't promised two more years, we're not even promised tomorrow. Anything could happen between now and the next few hours. All I know is that.... I can't wait two more years, Lacey...." My heart felt like it was seriously about to beat out of my chest. Leon is basically implying that he can't wait two more years and that could only mean two possible things: either, he's basically saying lets get together now, or that we shouldn't be together at all. The vibe is leaning more towards the first possible outcome though. Leon slowly gazed his eyes to meet mine and I started to lean in closer as he grabbed my waist, but before we could kiss Leon's phone rang which caused me to jump. I read the caller ID and it said Vince. You have got to be kidding me right now! Is Vince a fucking psychic or something? It just infuriates me that of course Vince would be the one to interrupt us. The universe is playing games with me. I saw Leon's face grow with frustration as he sighed heavily and answered the phone. He said "What?" In a very monotone, but angry voice. He sighed even heavier and said "OK," then he hung up. He stood up and stared at me for a few short moments and said "I have to go." I said "I figured." He said "Can I come back later?" I just shook my head yes. Moments later I lay in my bed trying to wonder whether that really just took place or did I smoke some really good weed that made me hallucinate. I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up later by Leon asking me to scoot over. I obviously didn't hesitate. He laid down next to me and I gave it a few moments before I decided to try anything just to see if he would first. I was surprised that he didn't. I wasn't expecting it or anything. I was just nervous. I saw Leon as this very experienced guy who doesn't know that I'm not so experienced. Was he expecting me to have superb sexual performance? Would I literally embarrass myself? After a little while of him not trying anything I thought that maybe he just assumed I was tired or something since I fell asleep while waiting on him. When I really fell asleep so that time would go by faster instead of anxiously waiting and staring at the clock as the slow minutes passed. I fell asleep again while waiting on him to make the first move, because obviously at this point, nothing is going to happen unless I make that call and I was too damn scared to do so. A few hours later I woke up and was surprised to see him still laying next to me. I figured he would honestly just leave. I sat up and watched him sleep for a few short moments. Not in a creepy way, but in awe to his profound beauty, and that he was actually sleeping in my bed next to me and that this was really happening. I thought long and hard about the next move I should make, but regardless of how long and hard I thought about it, the more I felt myself trying to talk myself out of it. It was ultimately going to be a tough decision to make regardless of how much thought I put into it. So I decided to clear my head and just go for it. I slightly tap his shoulder and say his name to get his attention, and as he was waking up, I sat on his lap and carressed his torso while I worked my way up to his lips. His hands moved slowly down my back to my waist as our tongues steadily locked with each other. I sat up and took my top off as he watched in admiration. He saw my tattoo and the nipple piercings for the first time and let out a big smile and jokingly said "So, that's what you got going on under there." I just smiled playfully back at him. He sat up with me still in his lap and began to kiss me again, as he worked his way down to my nipples, and he sucked on those for awhile. Then he put his right hand in my hair and gently tugged back, as he worked his way back up to my neck. Afterwards, he made eye contact with me and asked "Are you sure you really want to do this?" I whispered back to him "Don't you want it to?" After that Leon it his lip and flipped me over to my back without reluctance. I felt so numb to the rest of the world. In this very moment, it was just me and him. No problems existed. Worry free, and careless. In this moment, we were in our own euphoric little world. As it came time for the actual intercourse part, I remembered just how inexperienced I am and I increasingly grew nervous again. It was finally the moment where Leon would see that I'm not as adept as I may portray myself to be. After all, I did make the first move and it was pretty bold. Therefore, he may be expecting that I have at least some experience. I've mentioned this before, but the kid whom I technically lost my virginity to only stuck it in once, broke my cherry and pulled it right back out immediately. The only experience I've had since then was with myself. I've stuck fingers in there quite a few times, but my tiny fingers couldn't compare to Leon's gurth. As he was about to slide it in, I panicked and said "Wait, no, stop." He looked confused and shocked and said "Is everything okay?" I said "Yeah..." He sat there for a moment and then asked "Lacey, are you... Are you a virgin?" I said "Not exactly..." He asked "What's that supposed to mean?" I began to explain to him the story of my first time and he said "That really sucks. I'm sorry he treated you that way." I said "It's okay, I guess. Nobody's first time is... Enjoyable, right?" He smirked and said "Not really." Then I confessed to him the reason I didn't tell him and said "I thought you might not want to do anything with me if you knew that I'm not... Experienced." Leon said "That's nonsense. I like you Lacey. I like you, for you, and I truly never compliment girls unless I feel they truly deserve them. I hate to sound so blunt and kind of like a dick, but if sex was all I wanted I could've easily called Monica, or one of her slutty friends and gotten laid without even taking them out to dinner first. My point is, I wouldn't have acted this nice, or worked this much to get to this moment if sex was all I wanted in the first place. Especially when there's girls I don't even have to work for at all. I really like you. I want more than just sex from you. I don't mind that you're inexperienced, it's okay. I'll just go slower than I intended." Then he paused for a short moment and asked "Do you want to continue tonight?" I shook my head yes, and he proceeded. He coached me through the entire experience until I had an orgasm. It was the greatest one I've ever experienced. I've never felt my body tingle so much before. As I was climaxing Leon put his hand over my mouth to keep me from being too loud, but something about that I liked, and not just because of the fact that it kept me from screaming and waking everybody up. Afterwards even touching my clit made me jump slightly because it was that sensitive at the moment. Leon lays down next to me and I asked him if he came and he shook his head no. I felt a little disappointed but then again, I came really fast, we weren't even going for longer than two minutes. Leon said "Don't worry about it. Tonight's not about me. It's about you." I said "I feel embarassed though. Why?" He said "I have no idea, but don't be. As a guy it's my job to get you to cum as many times as possible before I do." I smirked really big, and he began to ask questions about what experience I did have, which is barely any at all. He asked "So what all have you done before this?" I said "Nothing really." He asked "Have you ever been fingered?" I responded with "yes," then he asked "Do you finger yourself?" I laughed and said "Sometimes. I usually just rub the clit." Leon then asked "Have you ever been eaten out?" I responded with a "no," and Leon looked offended for me. He said "I feel like that ex-boyfriend of yours is lowkey gay and doesn't want to admit it." The conversation proceeded and he asked "So what all have you done to guys?" I asked "Just a handjob." He said "So you never... You know..." I said "What? Sucked dick?" He shook his head 'yes' and I said "My ex-boyfriend always wanted me to, but he would force it, and I didn't want to do it if it was forced, plus I was nervous about doing it in the first place so him forcing me to didn't make it easier." I confessed something as if it was so bawdy to say "But, I've practiced on banannas." Leon laughed and said "That's funny, but I'm sorry your ex-boyfriend was such an asshole." I said "It doesn't bother me anymore. I was young and dumb, and naive, and vulnerable. He knew that, and took advantage of that, but that's what opened my eyes and made me realize I shouldn't do things unless I want to." Leon asked "So he pressured you into losing your virginity?" I said "Yeah, pretty much. He had a way of making me feel guilty or like I did something wrong if I refused." He said "Lacey, that's lowkey rape." I said "Yeah, I guess." After a long pause he sighed and started to rub my stomach as I laid on my back and asked if I was ready to go again. I sat up and shook my head yes and said "But I want to try something first." He asked "What?" I said "I want to.... Try.. Sucking your dick." Leon laughed, probably at how innocent and inexperienced I sound saying it then he sat up and said "Lacey, it's not necessary. Don't do it unless you really want to." I said "I do. I really want to. If any dick is ever going to be in my mouth I'd want it to be yours. Besides, you're not forcing it." Leon kind of chuckled and said "Are you sure?" I shook my head yes. I have no idea what made me want to do this, it really was a spontaneous desicion, but if I'm gaining experience here, I might as well gain as much as I can.

[makadelikz]

the fast life updated 9/22/2016 3:27 PM

The Fast Life Dear Diary…. I’m only fifteen years old and I know way more about the ‘street life’ than I should. I was raised into it so I had no choice, it’s all I know. I’ve tried to blend in with the normal girls my age at my school, but it never works. I’m sure it’s mostly because there’s no common interest. I pretty much like to sit back and watch things unfold. I’m very observant, but because of that I’m very quiet, and being the quiet kid with no friends in high school instantly makes you the loser. I didn’t mind the name calling, and I didn’t mind having no friends because I had a family. Well, the closest thing to a family I’ve ever known. The only blood I know is my older brother, he’s hard-headed, short-tempered, but he guided me and taught me everything I know. I’m still very ignorant when it comes to ‘that life’ but that’s because my older brother doesn’t really want this life for me so he only teaches me how to be observant and catch people in lies, and ironically how to be a good liar. He always says “it will come in handy for any and every situation.“ He wants me to be something successful and earn an honest living like a doctor or lawyer or something, but he and I both know that’s just wishful thinking. He always tells me "You’re too smart to go down my road.” It kind of makes me feel like shit sometimes because the guy who doesn’t really give a fuck about anything gives a fuck about me. I’m starting to think I’m literally the only thing he does care about, besides our “family.” My biological parents were the definition of dead beat. I would like to blame everything on them, but that’s just stupid. They play a role in every major mental scar I have, but other than that, it’s not really their fault my brother and I ended up this way. We could’ve bettered ourselves, we had the potential. In fact, we all had the potential, we just chose the easy way of life, but the easy way of life comes with the hardest consequences that are sometimes too hard to bear.

CHAPTER ONE:

Who am I kidding? Why am I even trying to write in a diary right now? I think that was the girliest thing I’ve ever done. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, but it’s easier to explain everything going on in my mind on paper, and of course there’s really no one else I can talk to anyway. I’m at a very stressful age, and the life I’ve been raised in doesn’t make the stress much easier. I’m only fifteen so my family pretty much sugar coats everything. I know that they’re up to nothing legal, that’s pretty obvious, but of course I’m spared the details. There’s Dominic, who is the alpha wolf, the pack leader. Whatever you want to call it. He calls the shots, and the rest follow. He’s praised in the streets, from Echo Park to Northern Cali, people know his name. Then there’s Dom’s sister Mia, she’s seemingly innocent but she’s played a hand in everything also, only because she’s loyal to family. She doesn’t necessarily agree with what her brother does for the most part, but if any cop or anyone outside the family starts asking questions she’s down to lie and create a false alibi. Then there’s Letty, the bad ass tomboy that any girl (or guy even) would be foolish to mess with. She’s Dom’s girlfriend, always by his side when they go on “runs.” Vince is my older brother. He’s ten years older than me so he basically raised me. Vince and Dom met in the third grade, they’ve been lifelong friends and Vince is loyal to him. Vince is very stubborn though and often loses his temper very quickly. He is known as the short fuse to everyone who’s ever met him. The only people he gives a damn about is us, everyone else he just looks at as if they were garbage. When it comes to family however, Vince is very caring. He has a difficult way of showing it sometimes, but he would take a bullet for any one of us. He’s also had a crush on Mia since high school so he really hates outsiders who hit on her, even though Mia makes it pretty clear that she would never date one of her brother’s friends. Vince respects that, but that doesn’t change his feelings for her. It’s sometimes painful to watch. Jesse is the sweetest person out of all of us. He’s down with 'that life’ but if you didn’t know that you would never assume that, although he’s still pretty ignorant about the street rules in most cases as well. He knows his way around an engiene and has his knack of computer hacking, so that was basically his promised initiation. Jesse joined the 'fam’ when I was ten years old and he has been here since. Then there’s Leon, there’s so much I could say about him but I’ll spare the mushy details. He joined the crew two years ago when he was eighteen years old. He’s a drifter. He traveled from place to place stayed for a few months then left. He had no real friends or family before us. I don’t know what made him stay but I’m glad he did. He and I don’t really have the closest relationship which is odd since we all live in the same house. I mean we talk and everything, but only in group dicussions, we never had a genuine personal conversation. But why would we? Why would he want to hang out with a fifteen year old girl, who doesn’t really have anything intresting to talk about anyway? I don’t even know his favorite color. It’s not that he doesn’t talk much, he just doesn’t like to talk about personal things. Took us all about a year to figure out his birthday when Dom made a comment about how we celebrated everyone else’s birthday that year except for his. He didn’t tell us his birthday because he said he’s used to people not knowing or giving a fuck. He’s never had a real birthday party. Took us six months after that to figure out where he was even initially from before he began drifting. Every time we have talked though he seemed like a very nice guy, and Dom obviously trusts him and likes him otherwise he wouldn’t have been around this long. Same vice versa.  My brother and Leon have grown very close. Vince is Dom’s right hand man, but Leon is Vince’s. Funny how that works. Oh yeah, and then there’s… Me. There’s really nothing more about me that I could say. I’m kind of… Just there. No one really asks me for things, no one really talks to me about things. I mean it’s not like I put any effort into talking to them either but my mentality plays a major role in that. I always think to myself “well if they cared they would ask” and I always just assume no one cares because no one asks and I leave it at that. I keep to myself though for the most part so I don’t really care. I know what people outside our family think about us because I hear it in school and on the streets. There’s people who think Dom is the coolest, and they want to be just like him, winning every race, and having that major street cred. Then there’s the naysayers who call us dysfunctional, and deliquents. To me though, despite how distant I feel from them half of the time, this is my family and I love them. They’re all I have, and they’re the only people I would ever trust. I would stand up for them even if I didn’t know exactly what I was defending, which is the case most of the time. I know they race, which is pretty evident because of their cars. That’s about the only thing they talk about, but even racing isn't talked about in so many explicit details. They attend Race Wars every month, which was actually an event created by Dom. I’m guessing that’s why he’s so popular on the streets. Anyways, the only time I don’t feel distant from them is on Sundays. Dom is very big on family and he carries the traits of his father, who I actually used to call grandpa when I was younger. Every Sunday after church Dom���s father would have a BBQ for everyone in the neighborhood, only if they went to church though. Dom’s father looked out for me and Vince as much as he could.  So now every Sunday, we have “Sunday Dinner.” The rest of the world, and the rest of our problems, even if they’re with each other do not matter on Sunday evenings. We will all sit, say grace, and eat food. Kind of funny how things like that work, to everyone else we’re dysfunctional deliquents, but to us, we’re family.

CHAPTER TWO:

After school I help Mia out at the cafe. It’s family owned, of course. Dom inherited it from his father, he also inherited “Torretto’s Auto Repair.” By day the boys, and Letty, are working in the garage, and Mia and I run the cafe. Very good fronts too, makes us look as if all the money we earn is from an honest living. The others will stop by after they close the garage or when they’re on lunch. Honestly, it’s the only part of the day I look forward to. Mostly because I get to see Leon. Just see him though, we never do much talking. I find my obvious attraction to him pretty awkward though. I mean we hardly know each other on a personal level. That and he’s four years older than me, but he acts way older than nineteen (almost twenty) sometimes I actually forget that he is really only four years older than me. To him I’m just Vince’s little sister. Well, that’s pretty much what I am to everyone, like I said, everyone knows Dom, so everyone knows Dom’s crew as well. Since Vince is Dom’s right hand man, it’s pretty much a sacred rule not to fuck with him either. So just being Vince’s little sister has pretty much prevented every fight I’ve almost been in at school. Nobody wants that kind of trouble. Not that I think my brother would actually harm a teenage girl (or boy) for harming me, but I’ll let them think it if it saves my ass. “Hey Lacey, can you do me a favor and stock the shelf over there with more chips?” Mia interrupts my daydreams. I don’t have a problem with doing it at all, but being in my head is the best place I know. Being snapped out of it to do something such as stock a stupid shelf is pretty annoying. I would never take it out on her though. Mia is the person I’m probably the closest with at least as of recently. I mean there’s my brother, but some of the things Mia and I have talked about since I began helping out here are things I could literally never talk about with my brother. Mostly because it’s been girly things, but our talks really haven’t been genuine anyway because I keep a lot of shit to myself. The thought of even talking about half of this girly stuff with Mia, let alone Vince, is kind of fucking awkward. I remember being little though and walking around the Torretto house in Mia’s shoes that definitely were too substantial for me. I’ve practically lived here before I actually did live here. Mia would braid my hair and tell me stories, paint my nails, you know, girly shit. I admired her. I wanted to be just like her when I got older, but now, I don’t even want to be myself half of the time. Still wouldn’t trade this life for anything though simply because these people are priceless. No amount of anything could ever replace any of them. As I’m stocking the shelf, I hear a too familiar sound. The sound of street racing cars, but only the finest for Torretto’s crew. One by one they enter the cafe greeting Mia. I thought to myself “Am I really this fucking invisible to everybody?” But then out of nowhere, the unexpected happened, Leon fucking says hi to me and asked me for a bag a chips from the box and told me not to tell Mia, even though Mia already knows, especially since she looked right over at him and gave him 'the stare.’ She just hates re-doing the inventory and everyone knows that. “What kind do you want?” There were only two different kinds to choose from that were left in the box, but I wanted to cling on to the conversation for as long as I possibly could. “Uh, I think I’m gonna go with the Frito’s today.” I handed him the chips and he walked off. Best twenty seconds of the day. I know this sounds fucking pathetic, but I’m only a fifteen year old girl who never had a real relationship exactly and this is my first real die-hard crush on a guy, so what do you expect? My brother walks over to me shortly afterward, I already knew his favorite kind of chips, he gets the same kind every day. I handed him the bag and he said “Thanks Lacey, but that’s not the only reason I came over here. I got you something.” He pulls something out of his pocket and it’s a jewelry box with a necklace inside. “I remember you telling me you wanted this necklace so I ordered it online and had it shipped to the garage.” I was shocked because I wasn’t expecting this, but also because I never thought he would even remember that I fucking said that. I just brought up the necklace to break awkward silence in the car ride home when he picked me up from school about a month ago. I hugged him so tightly, and it was the most genuine hug we’ve shared in quite awhile. I don’t know what made him have such a good mood today, but I am thankful for whatever it was because Vince hasn’t been like this for a few months. I was starting to think that he didn’t have an ounce of compassion left in him. I was starting to think none of them had any compassion left in them. Sunday dinners were getting quieter and quieter. I put the necklace on. It was a shiny gold lock-it, I’m surprised Vince remembered that I prefer gold over silver. The state of contentment quickly faded when I realized that, there’s really no one or anything special that comes to mind that would even be inside this necklace. I mean, of course there is my family, but that’s cliche and just a given because they’re really all I know and there’s two sides. Who or what would go on the other side? The satisfaction faded even faster when I remembered how expensive this necklace was, and I knew there was no way Vince could afford something like this and still have tons of money leftover by just doing brake checks, and tune ups. Even the overall family money earned from just the garage and the cafe wouldn’t be enough to just blow money everyday, especially with bills for the house, garage, and cafe combined. Plus, there’s a least ten-thousand dollars under the hood of each of their cars, and that's just under the hood and not the entirety of the car itself. It’s pretty obvious that they have a source of income from something else as well. I always just kept my mouth shut though, because it wasn’t really important to me at the time, nor was it my business.

CHAPTER THREE:

The unwanted sound of my alarm clock woke me up. Time for school! Only the enthusiasm part of that is nothing but sarcastic. I had to wake up even earlier than necessary just to have enough time to convince myself to even go, that and to get ready. I do my hair, makeup, teeth brushed, all the usual shit. The worst part was the stupid uniform. Plaid skirt, stupid tie, stupid vest, stupid buttoned up white collared shirt, stupid knee high socks, and stupid shoes. Oh and if we didn’t want to wear the vest we had to wear the shirt with the school logo on it, or the jacket. Having half of my closet filled with identical clothing irritated me so much. Reminded me of a cartoon character and how in every episode they would be in the same exact outfit. The only thing about the outfit that can be modified was the shoes, as long as they were all black. I think what I hated about all this the most was that I fell into a routine, as if I was living the same day over and over again, and it didn’t help that five days out of the week, I had to wear identical clothing as the previous day. It sounds like I’m complaining, I know. Most people in this world have this exact description for their life. The nine to five grind. I don’t want that though, and I know damn well that we don’t have that, I just want to be apart of whatever it is that they do. Today at school they’re handing out progress reports during every English or reading class. A progress report pretty much shows you what your grade in every class is, and tells you that you have a couple weeks to improve or maintain your grade before report cards are finalized and mailed out to your homes. I knew I was going to have a horrible grade in math, and some pretty bad grades in other classes too, but none that would fail me. It wasn’t that I didn’t get the material, except for Algebra, that class is literally gibberish to me, but for the rest of my classes it’s just that I didn’t care. I had no motivation whatsoever to even pretend to care, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed. I’ve been called to talk one-on-one with every single teacher I have, nearly every day, and that isn’t an exaggeration. Today, my history teacher pulled me aside after class and said “Lacey, I’m sure you know what we’re going to talk about.” I said “I know, it’s my grade. You gave me a D.” He said “I didn’t gve you anything less than what you deserved. I don’t understand Lacey, you get the material. Everything you have turned in has practically a perfect grade every time. The problem is getting you to turn in every assignment. The ones you do turn in aren’t even on time, which takes points off, which brings your grade down even more. You’re smart, you really are, but you concern me, last year you were impeccable, and I even considered putting you in my honors class, but this year you’ve let me down.” I almost felt like shit, but Mr. Klaskow isn’t anyone special to me. However, his lecture definitely didn’t settle right in my head, especially when he said he’s going to have to contact a “parent” for a conference. I screamed internally. I said “Please don’t! I’ll change my attitude around, I promise.” It’s not that I was scared, but it’s just hard explaining to teachers why my brother is listed as my Guardian, and why my parents are basically non-existing. Also, Vince would not be happy about coming down to the school, simply because he hates explaining why he is my Guardian as well. He feels like it’s really no one’s business. Ultimately, it’s because the school raises red flags for students who don’t live in what society deems as a normal, funcational household. There would literally be a little red flag symbol next to my name in the school’s system to signify that I’m what they call an “at risk youth” simply because I don’t live in a traditional household. So basically, every teacher and school counselor will poke their noses where it doesn’t belong and begin to ask a lot of questions that they don’t need to be asking. This is why I switched schools, because I was flagged at my old school as an “at risk youth” and the school guidance counselor didn’t “believe me” when I said my home life is absolutely fine, so she sent The Department of Children and Families to my house with a social worker who wanted to place me in foster care. Surprisingly, Vince won the trial by having a fantasic lawyer who’s name was Saul, I believe, who actually came all the way from New Mexico. Apparently Leon knew him and hooked Vince up, and they convinced the jury that simply living in a house that doesn’t have a mother or father doesn’t mean it’s dysfunctional, and that I still get all the love and care a child needs. Anyways, Mr. Klaskow sighed really long and hard, but he said “Lacey you have three weeks to prove your statement true, but I will make sure I talk to all of your teachers as well and make sure you’re improving in every class, not just mine.” I literally wasn’t expecting this answer, but thank you Mr. Klaskow, partly genuine, partly sarcastic. Why did he have to continue with "but I’m going to talk to all of your teachers as well?” I went straight home after school because Mia texted me and told me there wasn’t much to help out with at the cafe for today. I sat down on the couch, and basically mimicked my teacher’s sigh.  I thought to myself “How in the hell am I going to improve in math? The rest will be easy, but math!? Why did Mr. Klaskow say he would talk to all of my teachers? Why can’t he just worry about HIS class?!?!“ I pulled out my Algebra textbook and sat at the coffee table and almost wanted to cry because I could feel my brain pulsating into a migraine by trying to force myself to understand something that appears as hieroglyphics to my eyes. It’s literally a foreign language to me. It’s easily compared to the cashier who always tries to talk to me in Spanish at the Latin Market down the street. Can’t he tell I don’t fucking understand? The only reason I go in there is because Mexican soda is to die for. Leon walks out of the kitchen and it startled me inside because I didn’t think anyone was home. He said "I heard you sighing in the kitchen. You sound pretty stressed. You okay?” I literally stared at him for half a second before responding. I said “Umm, yeah…. (sighs) No.. I don’t fucking get this shit.” He giggled. I looked up at him to read his body language to see if he was being playful, or being a dick. I could tell by his smile he was being playful, but I wasn’t in the mood, yes not even for Leon. I said “What’s so funny?” He said “Relax, I’m just playin’.  You know I could help you if you want? Algebra and History are the only two subjects I was ever actually good in. Failed the rest. Well, I failed the rest just because I never wanted to do the work, and I never went to school, but I understood it to an extent.” I looked up in shock not only because he offered to help me, which means one-on-one time with Leon, which I’ve been practically dreaming about, but because he said he’s excellent at algebra. I guess I thought longer than I needed to with my response because then he said “Well……?” I said “That would be amazing. I need to learn this in three weeks.” He said “I could teach you this shit in a day.” He sat down on the ground next to me, I could literally hear him breathe he was so close, but I didn’t mind. He said “So where are we starting?” I just looked up and smiled. Involuntary I guess, but I just couldn’t contain the excitement I felt.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The tutoring has been going on for a month now. I’m not using him just to keep him around though, I have actually learned algebra, but each new chapter is still confusing, but less confusing thanks to Leon. My grades did improve, and Mr. Klaskow never called my brother to arrange a conference. It has been pleasent having Leon around me every day after school though. I started asking for help in almost every subject just to keep him around longer. Okay, I confessed. I am looking for excuses to keep him around longer, and the bonus is the grades I’m getting. I know that it seems like I was using him just because I had a little crush on him, but honestly I knew that the crush was never going to go anywhere anyway, and it’s certainly not like he’ll ever know, because that means I would have to tell him. He’s also way older and more mature than me. I genuinely just kept him around because I liked the company, I liked feeling like I had a “friend.” He didn’t even mind tutoring me, It’s like he looked forward to it. I know I certainly did.   Today we were in the middle of our tutoring session, and I was literally too deep in trying to figure out the answer to a problem that for a split second I forgot Leon was actually right there analyzing my work. He asked me a question, which made me completely lose track of what I was doing within this multi-step equation. I didn’t mind though because the question made me feel very worhty, and pleasent for a short second, but then I remembered the reality behind the answer to that question. It was such a simple question, but a question that nobody has asked me for a few years now. The question was “How are you feeling?” I know it was probably in refrence to the tutoring because we’ve actually studied longer than usual today, but that question alone has an endless list for me. I could go on and on about how I’m feeling Leon, do you really want to go there? I didn’t actually ask him that though. To be honest I’m pretty good at coming up with bullshit answers to avoid confrontation right on the spot, but today, right now, I couldn’t. I just blankly stared at him and then looked down and said “I don’t know.” He said “Hey, are you alright? Is there something you want to tallk about?” In my head I’m screaming isn’t that obvious? But I just look back at him trying to contain my emotions and said “no,” as in there’s nothing I want to talk about, but my voice fucking cracked! Of course it did. Now he knows I’m lying, and now he’s going to poke at this until he gets a straight answer, but contrary to my belief he just looked at me and said “I know that’s a lie, but I’m not going to make you talk about something you don’t want to talk about, but just know that you’re not alone, and I will literally sit with you for hours and hours and talk with you about anything you need to talk about.” I saw genuine compassion for the first time in his bright green eyes, and it was for me. A fucking tear came down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away and pretended like that didn’t just happen, I didn’t even feel like I was on the verge of tears, thank you body for signaling me like you’re supposed to! He obviously saw it though. I know he did, he just sympathetically touched my shoulder and closed my text book and said “we can be done for today,” and he softly smiled and walked away. I literally went straight to my room, and threw my face into the pillow and lost myself. I cried for hours. Why was I being so emotional? Oh, because that was first time in such a long time that anyone in the house actually cared about what was on my mind, and how I was feeling.  I’ve prepared for this moment for awhile. What I would say. I would be straight-forward and tell them that I hate being excluded and that I’m not an idiot, but why couldn’t I do that today? I literally thought I could write a dissertation about how I feel, but when it came down to it I choked up. I’m a fucking mess. Now, I know I'm probably overreacting just a tad, but coming from feeling like you're all alone in the world to instantly seeing someone that you actually fancy show concern for you, is pretty overwhelming. Later that night while eating dinner at the dining room table everyone was quiet for the most part, but that was beginning to become a usual thing. Oddly enough Leon is the one who starts conversation. He’s been a lot more chatty lately. It feels almost as if that he’s finally genuinely content with us, and being around us. As I mentioned before, Leon was a drifter. He didn’t stay in places for a long time. This has been the longest he’s stayed anywhere since the moment he began drifting. Kind of pleasing to know that Leon feels like he has a place to refer to as home. Out of all people Leon could talk to though, he initiated conversation with me. You would think this is something I would want, and a few weeks ago it’s something I literally would hope for, but after what happened earlier today this is not something I want right now at all. All the attention will be on me, which is also something I’ve been hoping for, but now that I got it the feeling is a bit too uneasy for me. “So, Lacey…. You really never talk during dinner. Why is that?” Leon asked. It’s almost as if he’s testing me, and it’s kind of irritating. I said “Well, no one ever really talks to me.” He said, “Well lets all play would you rather” I gave him such a puzzled expression. Usually I can read people like a book, I can predict literally almost every move or motive from a person, but Leon is a different story. A book that’s in a different language. This is definitely not something I was expecting, even Vince laughed at his request but Jesse said he’s down to do it, and Mia said “That sounds like fun, we haven’t had a family game night in ages.” Vince continued to laugh and said “…Alright…” in a tone as if he wasn’t really into it but he didn’t want to be the only one not playing. Leon looked directly at me and it was as if he smiling through his eyes. I don’t know if I’m infuriated or bewildered. Did he do this to piss me off? It certainly feels like it but at the same time, Leon never striked me as the kind of person who would actually do that intetionally. Especially not after today when he seemed so compassionate towards me. What is he doing exactly? A few hours after dinner Vince, Dom and Letty left. They of course didn’t say where they were going but I’m sure it was nothing vigorous. Jesse and Mia were asleep. I looked out the window and watched the others leave but then noticed Leon’s car was still in the driveway. I went looking for him and found him in the backyard. I said “So what was that for?” he looked as if he was taken aback by my question he said “What was what for?” I said “You know, the whole thing you pulled tonight at dinner.” He said “Lacey, I didn’t pull anything. I thought you realized what my objective was.” Now I’m the one that’s dumbfounded. I asked him “What do you mean?” He said “My plan was to get them to talk to you, and ask you questions. You said no one really ever talks to you, but tonight, every single one of them did.” I was kind of pleased with his answer, still a bit confused though. I said “Why would you rather though?” He said “It’s one of my favorite games. You can get way more creative with would you rather as opposed to twenty questions. Plus, when you put someone on the line and give them two scenarios and two choices, you can tell a lot about that person simply by which outcome they…. Would rather. No matter how silly or simple the question.” It took me a minute to settle with what he said but it was honestly the best thing I’ve ever heard him say. I sat down near him on the back steps and asked something I probably shouldn’t have and said “Why didn’t you go with Vince, Dom and Letty? You usually do.” He said “Because I don’t have to……” I left it at that and was quiet for a minute, I wanted to initiate conversation but at the same time my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Leon interrupted the silence and said “Sorry if that sounded abrupt, I didn’t mean for it to. It’s just that I don’t need to go with them all the time, sometimes, I just like to rest…..” I smiled and said “Why do you always have toothpicks in your mouth?” It was such a dumb question, I know, but I wanted to switch the topic. He laughed and said “What an odd question, but I like it, I like odd,” and he continued with “and I don’t always have a toothpick.” We both started laughing. Then he said “I used to smoke cigarettes. Nearly a pack a day. I quit cold turkey. One of the things that I picked up instead of a cigarette was a toothpick. It’s the habit of constantly having something in my hand that was hard to kick. I also started chewing gum. Not nicotine gum, but regular gum, but toothpicks kind of just stuck. Every time I felt the urge I would just chew on a toothpick until it passed. The irony is that now I have a toothpick addiction.” We both chuckled at the ironic outcome of the toothpicks, but the conversation kind of dropped there when Mia opened the door and asked me to help her do the dishes. Leon smiled at me and said “Talk to you tomorrow.”

CHAPTER FIVE:

Dear DIary…. Why am I writing in this dumb book? Why am I writing as if anyone is actually reading this other than me? I honestly never thought I would be this girly, but here I am writing in a journal and addressing it as my diary. It’s honestly stress relieving though. Anyways, since I’m here I might as well talk about my life the past few months since it’s been that long since I’ve last written in here. Leon and I have developed a very odd friendship, but a friendship to say the least. Most of our conversations are short, the longest time we spend together talking is about school related sutff. Nothing other than that has been exciting lately. Nothing out of the oridinary. Dom, Vince, Letty, Jesse and Leon still go on… night adventures. That’s what I like to call them. They leave late at night, and usually don’t come back until about 6AM, of course I still don’t know what they’re up to, and when it comes to that I’m completely out of the loop. I just know that every time they leave Mia gets upset, but in a way where she knows she can’t do anything about whatever is bothering her so she just lets it go. Today is Leon’s birthday. We haven’t actually celebrated his birthday since we’ve known him. I don’t want to push it, but I do want to surprise him since he’s never had a real birthday party. I bought him a cake, but my excuse will be because of all the help he’s given me with tutoring, that’s if he doesn’t appreciate the fact that I’m attempting to celebrate his birthday. I’m sure he  won’t mind though… At least I hope not. I probably should've just gotten candy, because that would've been a lot easier to dismiss since Leon's birthday is three days before Halloween. I’m supposed to meet him today directly after school at his new house, yeah he moved out, which is kind of upsetting, but he told me it was only temporary, I don’t know why he moved out, all I know is that him and Vince got into a disagreement because they shared a room. I guess Leon didn’t like Vince bringing in random girls all hours of the night, at least that was my assumption. Leon said he has roommates now, which I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not really used to being around anyone that isn’t my household. I just hope they’re not home when I’m there today.

After the last bell at school rang I quickly got out of there to avoid any teachers talking to me, they haven’t lately because my grades have actually improved, but just in case. Well, that and I was eager to pick up Leon’s cake from the bakery. I don’t even like cake, but I’m hoping he does otherwise this would be a very awkward situation. I finally got the cake and got on the city bus, which is actually a pretty frightening experience for me, I hate the city bus, every time I’ve rode it by myself some creepy person always tries to talk to me. Didn’t help that I was in a school uniform which is a top porn fantasy, my school is setting girls like me up for high anxiety in risky situations. There was literally this one time this creepy older dude was pestering me and asking me if I would join him and his wife in a threesome, but I pretended that I didn't speak any English which worked a litte bit, but I think the guy could tell I was faking it. However, some random dude who overheard the pervert saved the day. Surprisingly I made it off the bus alive, and my anxiety only reached a mild point. I finally found the house Leon is staying at now and I knocked on the door. It took him a few minutes but he finally opened it, he smiled and said “Hey Lacey.” and cocked his head towards the direction of the living room and told me to come in, I said “Wait. I’ve got something for you.” He turned back around with bewilderment, and I picked up the cake that I placed on the ground next to the door so he wouldn’t notice it right away. I said “..Happy Birthday.” and I smiled at him. He just stared at the cake and back at me, he did this a few more times and now at this point my anxiety is through the roof and I’m thinking to myself damn I fucked up but he started to laugh, it was a joyous laugh, he smiled real hard and I could honestly see his eyes water, my heart was beating insanely fast. He said “Thank you so much Lacey, I wasn’t expecting this… This… This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Literally.” I wanted to start crying because I thought he was starting to get upset, but I feel accomplished now. He immediately cut out a slice and offered me a piece and I said “No thank you, I actually don’t like cake. I would’ve gotten ice cream but it would’ve melted on the bus.” He smiled and said “It’s alright. You could’ve gotten me pretzels and stuck a sticky note onto the bag that said happy birthday and I would’ve been just as pleased.” I smiled real hard. Then out of nowhere he hugs me, and kisses me on top of my head. Anxiety level went from chill to almost panic attack in less than a second. I could smell alcohol on his breath when he got close to me. I said “Leon, are you okay?” He said “No, not really. I am now, but….” He didn’t continue his thought. I said “When did you start drinking today?” He said “When I woke up at eleven. I’m sorry Lacey I know I said I would help you today, but I forgot today was my birthday until I woke up. Birthdays aren’t really an exciting day for me, they never really were. This turned into the best birthday I’ve ever had though…. Thanks to you.” That comment sent chills down my spine. Just a few months ago I felt as if Leon didn’t really even acknowledge the fact that I existed, and now according to him, I gave him the best birthday of all his twenty years of life. I said “It’s okay, you don’t have to help me today. I’m actually doing pretty good. The only reason I asked you to study today was because I wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” I sounded as if I was confessing something bawdy, like he’s a Catholic preist and I’m the sinner. He said “Honestly…. Thank you so much Lacey….. Also, if you ever need anything… Anything at all.. I know I’m not down the hall anymore but you can come over here whenever you want. I’ll be here unless I’m with Dom, and all of them.” I was almost tempted to ask him what is he does when he’s “with Dom, and all of them” but I’m having a good day, and we’re having a good moment, and I don’t want to spoil that. Maybe, I’ll ask him tomorrow since I'm getting a little bit more brave when it comes to actually talking to him. Leon drove me home so I didn’t have to ride the bus, especially now since it’s almost dark outside. He pulled up in front of the house and said “Thank you again for a great birthday, Lacey. Also, how did you even get the money for the cake? I didn’t think Mia paid you for helping out at the cafe.” She didn’t usually. She used to but hasn’t in awhile, and I’m not going to ask for money like that. It was kind of like allowance money for doing chores. However, I actually was selling stuff at school, that’s how I got the money, but I wasn’t going to answer, and I didn’t think he would ask this so I wasn’t prepared for any sort of escape route. I shot back with “How did you get the money for every modified piece for this car? Or even the car itself? I didn’t think doing brake checks, and tune ups paid for a luxury living.” He looked back at me, and he looked very shocked and didn’t say anything for a couple seconds I started to feel shitty but then he looked at me and said “Touche.” On Halloween day I overheard everyone talking in the kitchen, I heard Leon too, I stopped to hear what they were talking about, considering they thought I wasn’t around. It would be interesting to hear what would come up. At first I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned “the meet up” tonight. I’ve heard them refer to things as “the meet up” before, but I don’t know what it is. What the hell are they going to do? I ran back upstairs and called a friend of mine, the only friend I actually have, and even she is not someone I fully trust, but she lives in a different city, and I know she has a car, and I asked her if she could come visit immediately, and that we’re going to need her car tonight. I thought to myself what am I doing right now? Am I actually considering following my family just to see what it is that they do? I kept thinking of every rational excuse if I was to get caught, but I honestly couldn’t think of one, especially because I don’t even know what it is I’m about to stumble upon. Even Mia is going tonight, is it that big? Mia usually never goes with them. Only once in a blue moon. Chandler and I hung out in my room all day, I discussed the plans with her, and she said “As long you don’t get me killed I’m down for whatever.” I could hear everyone getting ready to leave, so me and Chandler snuck out the back door and ran to her car before anyone got outside, we dunked in her car so they wouldn’t see us we waited for all of them to get halfway down the road before Chandler turned her car on and began to follow. We followed them but stayed at a safe distance, we saw that there was a street blockage, but with hundreds of other street racing cars I was thinking what the fuck but Chandler said “Holy shit this looks cool.” She began to drive closer to the car “meet,” and I said “Chandler, no. Do you see all those cars? None of them look like yours, because they’re modified street racing cars. You have a 2008 Chevy Malibu. They’re going to think you’re an average person, and they’re not going to let you in. Park in the parking garage down the block that way, it’s free.” I thought to myself that was a pretty excellent point, but also I could see Leon’s car parked in one of the intersections, he was the guy blocking the road. How awkward would that have been for Chandler to casually drive up next to his yellow imported-from-Europe-1996 Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 in her used-bought-off-the-street-silver 2008 Chevy Malibu with me in the passenger seat? We walked back down towards the blockage but I said “Lets enter a different way.” So we took a right at the last intersection before the blockage, walked down the block to the next blockage of parked cars with people who weren’t even paying attention, but also people who wouldn’t recognize me.   We started blending into the crowd, but Chandler of course doesn’t exactly know the real reason we’re here. I told her the basic outline of tonight’s plans but she doensn’t exactly know why I wanted to follow my brother. She doesn’t even know what my brother looks like or anyone else in the family for that matter. She thinks that I snuck her into some kind of party and that nobody would really care if they saw me. She started to have too much fun. She was dancing with random people, and even shared a blunt with someone for like five minutes. I walked over to her and these random guys smoking blunts and said “Chandler, lets go.” I grabbed her hand seeing how she’s already high as hell and we walk through the crowd, I want to get closer to the center because that seems to be where everyone was gravitating their focus to. I got close enough. I saw my brother, Dom, Letty, Jesse, and Mia. I got there just in time to hear Dom say “Okay Hector will hold the money” and he handed this Hector a fat stack of cash. It was evident that everyone who put in the money was going to race Dom. The concept was easy to grasp. Whoever won, got the entire stack of cash and whatever else was betted. I felt uneasy, but it was starting to make sense. I thought to myself okay so they street race at least they’re not hitmen but I still felt like I was missing so much more. Dom invented this thing called Race Wars that happened once of month, but this wasn’t it. Vince took me to one of the Race War meets a couple years ago. Apparently Dom has it rigged to where it’s legal, as long as no bets are made, but seeing this, I’m sure there’s bets made under the table. I turned to talk to Chandler but she wasn’t next to me. I started freaking out, but I was mostly pissed off, because she’s been wondering off since we got here. How could she just walk away and not tell me? Also, how is she going to say "as long as you don't get me killed, I'm down for whatever" when she's the one being reckless and putting herself in sketchy positions where dangerous scenarios are more than likely to happen? We were surrounded by a lot of people, too many people, I could smell the toothpaste on some people’s breaths. She was just right next to me a few moments ago. I fought my way through the crowd to look for her, but someone grabs my arm and turns me around and my heart sank to the fucking ground. “Lacey!? What are you doing here!?” It was Leon. I was so careful, how the hell did he just happen to find me? I didn’t say anything I yanked my arm from his hand and ran away. I couldn’t find Chandler anywhere, and at this moment I was panting. I ran back to the parking garage. Chandler’s car was still parked. The cold Halloween night air was making me breathe really heavy. I had no choice but to run back and attempt to look for her. I saw Leon sitting in his car again, as if what just happened didn’t fucking happen. He seemed to be more alert though as if he was looking for me, but as if he couldn’t leave his car at the same time. I saw him talk into a walkie talkie and then next thing I knew I heard joyous screams as if the race was about to go down, I heard engienes revving, and I fought my way through all the crowds, I made my way to front of the crowd just in time to see the cars breeze right past me. They only raced a quarter mile, and Dom won. I could hear cheering, and I saw the Hector guy give Dom all the money. I still feel like this isn’t the only source of mysterious income, but at the moment that wasn’t on my mind. I couldn’t find my friend and next thing I knew I heard sirens. These things get shut down real fast apparently. Everyone scattered like roaches to their cars and headed out immediately. Cops were chasing cars left to right and even stopping pedestrians. I ran as fast as I could to the parking garage thinking that Chandler would now have enough sense to come back to her car, but she still wasn’t there. I waited for like five minutes and thought holy fuck where is she it doesn’t take that long to get here especially when you’re running because of the COPS. I ran out of the parking garage and started walking pretty fast the cops seemed to have been off chasing cars now, I heard a car screech and pull up behind me. It was Leon. He seemed angry as fuck and it scared me, I’ve never seen him this mad he said “Get in!” We didn’t say a word to each other the whole way home. During the ride he didn’t seem pissed off, just concerned. I asked “Are you going to tell Vince?” He said “No. As far as I’m concerned we’re not even having this conversation right now. If you want to tell Vince then that’s on you.” I left the conversation alone after that. We were the first ones back home, and Leon said “Thank God. Get out and run to the backdoor, make it look like you didn’t even go out tonight.” I began to ask what the huge deal was, but he cut me off, so I did exactly what he said. I ran to the back door, up to my room, changed into some gray sweatpants and a black and yellow Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt. I threw my hair up in a bun and removed my makeup. I look as if I was sleeping this entire time and I finished just in time. Gradually everyone began walking through the front door as I was peeking down from the stairs, no one sees me yet. They all walk in so casually, as if none of this even happened. As if they weren’t just being car chased by police. I went downstairs and Leon shot me this look as if he was telepathically telling me to “play it cool.” I walked up to Vince and he said “Hey what’s up Lacey. Still awake?” I said “Yeah, couldn’t sleep.”

CHAPTER SIX:

The next morning, no one is home except for Vince, I go downstairs and sit next to him on the couch. I immediately started asking him questions about last night. I gave him the opprotunity to tell me the truth, but after I asked him what he did last night he just said “What do you think I did?” I said “I don’t know that’s why I’m asking.” He said “Well, what did you and your friend do last night?” It’s like he knows I was testing him so now he’s testing me. I said “Why?” he said “Why does what I did matter?” I just sat there in silence. He said “So… Is there anything you want to tell me?” I just looked up at him and thought to myself if I tell him the truth maybe he won’t care, maybe he’ll finally keep me in the loop with everything. Plus, he’s answering my questions with questions as if he already knows exactly what I’m getting at and exactly what Chandler and I did last night. I know my brother all too well and continuing to lie isn't going to me any good because then Vince won't trust me. If Vince starts answering your questions with codenscending questions, he knows whatever it is you think you're hiding. I immediately came clean and said “I followed you last night, I saw the race and everything.” He looked at me as if he wasn’t shocked and he just bluntly said “I know. I knew this day would come. I guess I just wanted to hold on to your innocence a little longer. Next time though you better ask me so I can keep you safe. I also know that your friend wasn’t safe.” I was surprised to hear him say that. How could he have possibly known Chandler got lost or whatever happened to her? I mean, him knowing I was there wasn’t surprising, he could’ve saw me just as easily as Leon did. Or did Leon tell him? I asked “Is she okay? I’ve been trying to call and text her all morning.” He said “She lost her phone, but she’s fine. She got into a random person’s car and went to a random after party. Hector told me she saw her there after she walked up to him fucked out of her mind asking "Can you help me find Lacey Scaletta?” I’m sorry to say this Lacey, but friends like her can get you killed or locked up. I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore…. At least if I’m not around.“ I jokingly said "You technically were though,” but he just gave me 'the look’. However, I knew what he was saying was true. Chandler was too unpredictable and wild. She was a great friend when it came down to it, but in situations like last night she can’t be trusted. She could’ve gotten me or herself killed. Smoking weed, popping bottles, going home and partying with strangers, She could’ve been raped and killed. She didn’t even bother contacting me through social media to say she was okay or that she was sorry for making me freak out so badly. I said to Vince “I don’t really hang out with Chandler much anyway, she lives in Riverside. She’s just the only person I know with a car other than you guys.” He said “Hey….. You know what… How about I let you drive my car.” I said “When!? Right now? For what?” He said “Yes, and because I’m going to teach you how to drive. You’ll be sixteen in two months, I knew how to drive when I was fourteen. I’m not about to let my baby sister not know how to drive.” We started to walk outside towards his car, and I said “Wait, what else is it that you guys do? And I want the truth.” He looked at me very puzzled, but he sighed and said “Get in, I’ll explain.” I’m actually driving pretty well, and Vince said he was impressed, and I am too. I didn’t think it would be this easy, but once I got used to the small things like putting my foot on the brake to switch gears the rest came naturally. He occasionally told me to slow down or speed up but it was my first time I wasn’t quite use to the feel yet. He said “Alright pull over into that parking lot.” I recognized this place I said “Hey, isn’t this where Race Wars is at every month?” He said “Yeah, I’ve taken you here once, remember?” I said “Yes! That’s exactly why I remember this place.” He said “Pull over to the track.” Once I got there he said “Now, go as fast as you can, and when I say stop slam your foot on the brake.” I said “Are you serious?” He said “I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” So I did it and I could feel the adrenaline pump through my veins. This has honestly been one of the nicest days I’ve spent with Vince in such a long time. We started laughing directly after I slammed my foot on the break and he said “So do you really want to know what it is we do other than street racing and Race Wars?” I looked at him as if that was a dumb question and said “Yes Vince. I hate feeling like I’m entirely out of the loop, as if none of you even trust me enough to tell me.” He said “That’s just it Lacey, we have to trust you entirely before we tell you.” I said “Vince I’m your little sister. I would lie for you, I would die for you, Vince. I know it’s supposed to be the other way around, but I love you just as much as you love me, and I would die for you too. I would lie or die for any of you. You guys are all I got, do you really think I would go out and tell the world? I’ve always known you guys were up to something, I just didn’t know what it was exactly. I want to be apart of whatever it is, I want to be one of you!” He said “Alright, but it takes time, I can’t just throw you into the ring and expect you to win the fight. I have to train you. We all do. We also all have our own roles. I know you’ve seen the inside of Leon’s car, so I know you saw the police scanner, that’s evidently his role. I do the dirty work, Dom and Letty are the main shot callers basically, but they’re just body guards for me technically, and Jesse he’s the mechanic, he’s the one who makes our cars pretty much bullet proof, and he juices up our cars for races."I asked "So the races are rigged?” He said “No, that’s not what I meant. We just have an extra boost of Nitrious Oxide.” I asked “So is Dom the only one who races or do you all race?” He said “We pretty much all get our turn, but Dom mainly.” I continued to ask questions because he seemed to start holding back on answers. “So street racing is the only thing you do?” He said “No. There’s a shipping yard a few miles north. There’s a dirty inside job there, but one of the guys on the inside of that dirty job is on the inside with us. He’s basically our informant. He tells us what trucks the fake shipments are in and it’s route and we hijack it. Most of the time it’s truck loads of money, sometimes it’s money and cocaine. We thought about taking the cocaine too, but that’s not our thing, and we give our informant more share than he normally gets that’s what’s in it for him.” I asked “So do you kill the truck drivers?” Vince said “No! We don’t kill anyone. I hijack the truck, and shoot the driver with a tranq bullet, we take what we want, and we leave the truck on the side of the road, the driver eventually wakes up, but by that time we’re already long gone.” I asked “When’s the next shipment?” He laughed a little under his breath and said “That's not for you to worry about.” I said “But if you’re the one who hijacks the truck that means the rest of them are just in their cars, I can just sit with them and watch you hijack.” He said “Sit with who?” I said Leon and Vince immediately said no. I asked him what he had against Leon since the way he said no made it seem like he did have something against him, or at least something against me riding with him, and he said “I have nothing against him, I just don’t want you to go.” I begged and begged and begged, and he finally gave in he said “You know what, if you work in the garage with me for awhile instead of the cafe then I will let you go, but only if you’re in Leon’s car because he’s in the back, Letty does dangerous shit, and Jesse is in the front towards the side and Dom and I are directly in front of the truck, and usually the drivers have weapons. ” I was totally fine with riding with Leon for the obvious reasons, but even more fine with it because of what Vince just said. I asked if the garage was illegal too just to be a sarcastic asshole and he actually said “Technically. It’s a chop shop. We do illegal repossesions, we take parts for our cars and we sell other parts, and we also have some random customers, but they’re mostly from people in the street racing world. Civilians don’t like the name Toretto.” I said “Well, they sure like the cafe.” He said “Let me rephrase that. They don’t like the name Toretto when Dominic is in front of it. They don’t mind Mia.” Vince looked at me and said “By the way… They don’t like the name Scaletta either.” Then he smiled at me and started laughing. I was really pushing on this hijack topic because I was trying to grasp my mind around the fact that my family hijacks semi-trucks. I asked "How long have the hijacks been going on?” He said “Maybe about a year or so.” I said “And the guy who’s on the inside hasn’t been caught yet? Don’t you think they would assume one of their guys is being a traitor when all their shipments get fucked up?” Vince said “You really do think just like me don’t you?” He laughed and continued with “Don’t worry about it Lacey. It’s nothing you need to even worry about at all anyway, but we already got it covered.” I said “Well, other than that, you do realize that the longer this goes on, the FBI might get involved. They’re basically organzied heists.... Well, they are organized heists.” Vince sighed in a tone as if he knew I was right but just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet. He said “Alright, kiddo. Switch spots with me. It’s time to go home.” That night I saw that Leon was there and asked him if he told Vince about last night, and he said “No, I told you as far as I’m concerned last night didn’t even happen.” I asked “Well how did he find out?” He looked at me confused and said “He knows?” I said “Yeah, but he wasn’t even mad about it…. At all actually.” He said “Hmm, that’s strange but like I said Lacey anything you don’t want Vince or anyone to know I won’t say shit. I won’t even say shit to anyone about anything even if you don’t explicitly ask me to not tell anyone.” I said “But you’re like my brother’s right hand man….” He laughed and said “That doesn’t mean I have to inform him of every single thing that happens in my personal life.” I was extremely pleased that he implied I was apart of his personal life. The next day at school when I was going to lunch I saw Vince in the school office, I walked in and asked him what he was doing here he said “I’m granting permission for Dom, Letty, Mia, Jesse, and Leon to come pick you up from school in case anything ever happens and I’m not available to come get you.” I said “Okay, can you take me home now? I don’t want to be here anymore.” He laughed and said “I figured you’d say that. I was going to do that after this anyway since I’m here I might as well.”

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Dear Diary… A couple months have gone by again since I’ve last written in you. My birthday is tomorrow and I’ll be sixteen, I feel like there’s such a huge difference between sixteen and fifteen. Anything below fifteen is too young, but anything after fifteen is old enough (for most things anyway) but fifteen is just.. fifteen. There’s nothing special about fifteen, you’re neutral. You’re not too young but you’re not quite old enough. I feel like once I turn sixteen the rest of them will start treating me more like an adult and start trusting me more. I still haven’t gone to one of these “shipments” but all of them have been 'training’ me. It’s like criminal boot camp. Only I don’t really see it that way. My family has had cops on the inside. They’ve had made deals with cops that eventually led to their complete immunity to things in the past. If someone wearing a badge can be dirty, then we’re all dirty.We’re all just doing what we have to do to survive a cold world, right?. Ultimately this just proves that a badge doesn't make someone great, sometimes the ones with the badges are even worse than the ones without them.

Twenty or so minutes after I walk downstairs and lay on our porch hammock in the backyard and I start to daydream. I cant really look at the clouds because it’s an overcast day, it’s just one big grey cloud blanketed across the entire sky, but I don’t mind, overcast and rainy days are my favorite, and since we live in Los Angeles it hardly ever rains so I actually cherish the days that it does. Just when I thought I was alone, Leon comes out of nowhere and lays on the hammock next to me, but opposite direction, his head was where my feet were at. I said “Um, hi.” He said “What’s on the agenda for today?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Math? History? Science?” I said “To be honest, I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want to lay here.” He said “I’m right there with you.” If this were to happen months ago before he started tutoring me I would be freaking the fuck out, but I completely feel comfortable around him now, well not entirely, but much more than before and I really like the feeling of that. I said “Oh hey Leon…. Will you tell on me if I smoke this blunt?” He cocked his head up so fast to look at me and gave me this expression like did she really just say that?  He just started laughing though and said “I won’t say a damn thing…… if you share,” and then he winked at me. We smoked the whole blunt, we’re just high as a kite chilling on this hammock, we don’t really speak we just lay there next to each other. I didn’t mind though because when you can be around someone and be completely comfortable even though it’s silent that’s a beautiful thing. I don’t know what it is, but when you’re with someone and you can be silent without the awkward tension you can feel more vibrations between your energy and theirs. It’s like you can connect more with that person through silence rather than with verbal discussion.  I know it probably sounds like the marijuana talking through me right now but I always felt this way. I’m very spiritual and I used to meditate routinely, but lately I just sort of fell off the tracks. I guess that’s why I don’t see eye to eye with my family most of the time, like I love them, and I appreaciate them, and I love spending time with them. It’s just I feel that my thought process is more advanced than theirs. That probably sounds narcissistic, but it’s kind of true. I can usually see the bigger picture, or the greater good, and they can’t. Sometimes even when the greater good is transparent they're too loyal. Meaning that even when they know they're wrong they won't admit it. However, I’m not saying that they aren’t smart I just feel like I figure out solutions faster than they do most of the time. Most of their so called solutions end with violence and blood. Leon is a different story however. I feel a connection between him and I, despite how cliche that sounds it’s true. I just feel like he and I definitely see eye-to-eye. When I’m near him I feel very euphoric. After the high started to wear off Leon sits up and says, “Want to go get food?” I said “That’s a dumb question.” once we get in his car he said “Where do you wanna eat?” I said “I’m in the mood for some Japanese food..” He hesitated and said “The closest Jap restaurant is in Koreatown….. Ironically enough.” I said “Yeah…? And..?” He said “Oh shit, that’s right you don’t know anything about that.” He started to pull out from the driveway and I grabbed his wrist preventing him from turning the keys and said “Don’t know anything about what?” He said “Forget it, Lacey.” I said “You can’t just say shit like that and expect me to forget about it.” He sighed and said “Johny Tran.” I said “And…….. Who is that?” He said “Dominic’s enemy. He and Dom are the two power balls of the streets around here, especially in the street racing community. It’s basically his turf. Dominic’s crew stays away from his turf, and his crew stays away from our turf- Echo Park.” I said “I don’t understand I go to that Japanese place all the time.” He said “Their beef is with Dom and his crew, not Vince’s little sister.” I hesitated to respond because I don’t like being simply known as Vince’s little sister, I have a name of my own and I don’t want to live in his shadow. Unfortunately, however, Vince has already plastered a bad name for Scaletta. People who’ve heard of that name knows that anyone with it doensn’t come with remarkable behavior or outstanding citizenship. At least that’s what one of my teachers told me. She was Vince’s English teacher too. Anyways, I sucked it up and said “Wait so they know who I am?” I mean at least they know of me, right? Better than being completely non-existent like I thought I was. He said “Yep. Why do you think we lied to you? It wasn’t to keep you out of the loop, and it wasn’t because we didn’t trust you. We we’re protecting you.” I said “I don’t see how lying to me protected me at all, I’ve freely walked around Koreatown numerous times as if there was not a care in the fucking world.” He said “I was always watching you.” I said “Woah, wait, what the fuck?” He said “Not like that. Your brother, since I’m his right hand man as you say, assigned me to watch over you. He only asked me to because things have recently heated up between Dom and Tran a lot more than usual.” I just cotinued to glare at him and he said “Lacey I wasn’t stalking you, I only ever followed you to Koreatown when I heard you say something about going to Koreatown.” I said “So you weren’t always watching me?” He said “No.” He said it in a tone as if he really wanted to say you caught me. I said “So technically, I wasn’t always safe.” He said in the same tone “I guess not….. But you’re alive.” I said “Well, I still want Japanese food.” Leon gave me this look as if he really wanted to say “Are you serious?” But he just said “Fine, but we’re taking the train they’ll see my car from a mile away.” Once we get to the Japanese restaurant things seemed to go pretty smoothly other than the fact that Leon seemed to always be looking over his shoulder, literally and metaphorically. We shared an order of spring rolls and we each had our own sushi roll. I don’t even like fish though so I got the terryaki chicken roll and I was surprised to see that Leon walked over to the table with the same fucking thing, except his was the terryaki steak roll. Each roll comes with ten little sushi rolls so I gave Leon five of my terryaki chicken's for five of his terryaki steaks. It worked out perfectly. We got to talking and I dunk down in my side of the booth and asked him about his childhood. I probably shouldn’t have because I felt the mood go from really great to not-so-great in a matter of seconds. He said “Lacey…. I don’t really want to talk about my childhood, but if you really want to know more about the Leon that existed before I moved into your house two years ago I will say this; I’m a dirfter… Well, was a drifter and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that in every place I stopped at I probably stayed a maximum of three months in each place (I was actually aware of this, Mia told me) and each place I had a different name (but I did not know this information.) I never gave anyone my real name. (Or this.) In every place I established a network of.. “friends,” I liked to refer to them strictly as connections, but they kept trying to tell me that I was running from something, and they’re probably right, but to be honest I believe I was running to find something, and I don’t know exactly what I was looking for, all I know is that I think I found it.“ After he said that he just glared over at me and it made my body tingle, and I don’t know why. He continued to talk and said "When I happened to run into Dom and your brother two years ago I introduced myself with my actual name. That’s something I haven’t done since high school prior to them. So it felt weird, it didn’t even feel like that’s who I really was anymore. I had completely forgotten about Leon, the real me. I was just a kid when they found me though, I was hustling and I ended up hustling at Race Wars, making bets before I even knew that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd. Dom asked me if I was hungry and if I had a place to stay that night, I said yeah I was hungry but no I didn’t have a home…. Never really did, and then just like that they took me in…… like a lost fucking puppy…” I tried to sound reassuring and said “At least lost puppies that get taken in get a much better and happier life.” He was still looking down but I could see him smile. He looked up and said “That’s actually a really good way to look at it, Lacey.” I just smiled at him to conclude the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about anything negative anymore. It makes me happy to know that Dom and my brother took him in as family though. It’s not like they just select and recruit random people. Vince and Dom genuinely cared about Leon’s well-being. They welcomed him into our home with a home cooked meal. I remember that because I was there. The first night he arrived he was in dirty clothes that smelt like a community trash can, and his shoes had holes in them. He didn’t look homeless though, he was clean shaved, and his hair was washed and slicked back like it always is, he just looked… Poor. I remember peeping in on him when he thought he was alone that night, and he was crying. I was just a little girl compared to what I am now and I was curious about the stranger in my home. He doesn’t know I saw him cry though, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think I recall that night. I don’t plan on telling him that I do in fact remember every thing about that night. Same as when Jesse arrived. How could I forget the nights two very important people in my life came along? Jesse’s story is a bit different from Leon’s though. Dom and my brother found him running from a gang of people who jumped him. He ran into the garage yelling for help. Poor Jesse, he’s so small and fragile. You would never assume he was apart of this kind of life, but he wasn’t running from a gang of people who wanted him dead for no reason. To outsiders, Dom seems like the kind of person who is nothing but a thug, and that he has no ounce of compassion or feelings in general. However, he’s actually a very caring person. He’s literally mama bear to all of us. Or whatever you want to call it. We’re his family, and he is strongly over-protective. Dom is just highly misunderstood. He doesn’t like to open up, but the only reason I know the things that I do is because I grew up with him and his family. When Dom and Mia’s dad died, Dom claims it wasn’t an accident. He watched his dad perish in a burning car. He swears on everything of value to him that the car was tampered with because his dad never made a mistake. Years later when Dom was a young adult he found the guy he knew was responsible for his dad’s death and beat him with a pipe wrench so badly that he went blind in one eye, and facial reconstruction couldn’t even fix the guy’s face. That was Dom’s first serious offense, and he spent two years in prison for it. He says that he’ll die before he ever goes back. Dom says his passion for street racing is because of his dad. He says within those ten seconds or less, within that quarter mile…. He’s free.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I’m just a kid who claims she’s indepedent and that I don’t need anyone to talk to, or help me, but the reality of that is in all honesty I’m dependent on everyone else in my household. I would literally be clueless without them. I don’t want to be that way, I try very hard to overcome that. I believe it mostly has to do with everything that I’ve been through, and I’m talking about since the beginning. My biological parents were very unfit parents. My mother was a junkie, Vince says she didn’t start using until a year or so after I was born. That makes me feel very unwanted, but Vince assures me that they were pieces of shit to him as well. My dad was an alcoholic and an abuser. He’d beat the living shit out of my mom and my brother for fun. My mom also provoked the fights though. Most of the time it was about money, according to Vince. Our dad’s paychecks didn’t support either of their habits or feed us. Vince was always the one taking care of me. He said that at ten years old he was changing my diapers because our parents either ignored my cries or were too intoxicated and fucked up to even hear them. Vince locked him and I in his room to protect us, mostly from our father. Vince told me one night he snuck out with me in his arms as just a little baby and he took me all the way to the Toretto house. Vince won’t admit it was because he was scared, he says it’s because he didn’t know what to do. Dom’s father always helped as much as he could but unfortunately to legal standards, we had to go home eventually. As I got little bit older my brother would always take the blame for things that I did wrong. I remember accidently knocking a cup over and splashed orange juice all over the floor and the glass broke. My mother watched it happen but she was too high to even be aware. Our dad comes in from the other room yelling and screaming. I was crying, and my dad got up in my face because he assumed I did it since I was crying so hard, but Vince jumped in and made sure I didn’t get hurt. That night Vince went to the hospital with a broken nose for something he didn’t even do. After that Dom’s father fought for legal rights of us. It was a long battle, but we eventually we’re taken in legally by Dom’s family. In the meantime however, the abuse didn’t stop. One night my mother asked me to do something for her. I was seven years old and I was excited because my mom never asked me to do anything. I was pretty sure at times she didn’t even know who I was. She asked me to wake her up early in the morning at 5:30 precisely. I made sure I stayed up the whole night, because I didn’t want to fuck up since this was the first thing my mom ever asked from me. I didn’t want to let her down basically. I didn’t tell Vince about it until after because I was sure he would talk me out of it. At 5:30 on the dot I snuck out of Vince’s room where he and I both slept. I stood on the chair he had in his room to reach the top locks on the door, and I went into my parent’s room. I woke my mom up and she was already dressed. She didn’t say a single word to me, not even a thank you. She went into her closet and grabbed a couple of bags and walked out the front door. I looked out the window and saw her get into a car, and I never saw her again after that. After it happened I cried and told Vince what happened. He was seventeen at the time, so he didn’t care too much about our mom leaving. The only thing that made him mad was that she tricked me into thinking she cared about me enough to get me to do something for her. I sobbed really hard and Vince held me and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I said “but daddy’s gonna be mad at me” and Vince said that he wasn’t going to let my dad hurt me. Later that morning when my dad found out my mom was gone Vince again took the blame for me. He got his ass kicked really badly. Every beating I deserved Vince took the blame for it. Vince got all the shit growing up and I got none of it. To this very day our childhood is not something we talk about. Ever since Dom’s father took us in our lives did a complete turn around. We weren’t afraid or uncomfortable in the house we were living in anymore. We finally had a place to call home and had it actually feel like a home. I still don’t know what ever happened to my mother, or father at this point. I have no idea if they’re even still alive, but I don’t even care.

CHAPTER NINE:

I woke up this morning with everyone in my room yelling “SURPRISE!” I was literally not expecting this, and certainly not expecting everyone to be standing in my room. At least I wasn’t sleeping naked like I normally do because that would’ve been embarrassing if I kicked the blanket off of me in the middle of the night. I see Leon holding a cake and he winked at me as if he was telepathically telling me “Since you got me a cake I got you one.” We do a lot of telepathic speaking come to think of it. They all handed me presents one by one, and when Vince gave me his he sat down next to me on the bed and said “Happy 16th birthday, kiddo. You know… My sixteenth birthday…. Sucked. All I ever wanted was a better life for you.” I just hugged him really tight. Dom said “We’re all going to pitch in to make you one hell of a breakfast so don’t fall back asleep.” Gradually everyone started to leave the room and Leon sat down next to me and said “I remember you said you don’t like cake so I got you a cookie cake, I figured that would be better.” I said “Yeah, I love cookies so..,” and smiled at him, then he pulled out a present from his pocket. He said “I know it isn’t big but sometimes smaller presents are usually the ones that cost more.” I said “The price tag means nothing to me Leon, it’s the thought that counts. I know that’s cliche to say, but it’s true.” I opened the box and it was a Pandora charm bracelet. It had a crescent moon, a sun, and all kinds of cute little things. I said “Holy shit, thank you Leon. You didn’t have to do this.” He said “Of course I didn’t have to…. I wanted to,” then he smiled and walked off. I literally sat there in shock because this whole morning started off really bizarre, I went to bed last night not expecting to even get a single present. They didn’t shower me with gifts and a big fancy breakfast last year. It was just a casual dinner at Applebee’s. I walked downstairs and they even let me have champagne and orange juice. I think I’m already starting to like the feeling of being sixteen. Later that night I overhear them talking about going on another run. Of course, I was interested, so I listened. I heard Leon say “This isn’t going to be a casual run though. We’re just going to the warehouse.” I didn’t know what was said before that because I had just began to eavesdrop. Dom said “I know, I want you and Vince to cover the back. Jesse you keep a look out in the front. I’ll handle the business.” Mia was out with Letty, I don’t know what they were doing but they took Letty’s car, which means Mia’s is out front.  I have no idea where this bright idea came from, but I decided to follow. I remembered everything Vince told me when he took me out driving. I began to follow them, and it was such a long drive. Took about fourty-five minutes to get to the warehouse, I followed behind but tried to stay as far away as possible, especially when we got to those long California roads that nobody seems to be on at the same time you are. I see them pull onto a lengthy dirt road that led to the location. I parked Mia’s car on the side of the road and began to walk. I remember Dom saying he wanted Jesse out front, so I dipped off to the side a little bit. There were plenty of trees to prevent me from being seen. I made it pass Jesse, and now I’m on the side of the warehouse. There’s a huge painter’s bucket that’s just big enough for me to stand on and inch my eyes up to the window to peak in. I see Dom talking to two asian guys. I heard him call him Johny. This must be the Johny Tran that Leon told me about. I was trying to see what they were doing, but I was too short to see everything. I tried to stand more on my tippy-toes but I slipped off the bucket and fell. It was pretty noisy, so I jumped up stood back on the bucket and checked the window to see if they heard it, but thank god they didn’t. I jump off the bucket and start heading back to the car, because that was too close of a call and I began to walk backwards to make sure no one was coming from the back, but I bumped into someone. They covered my mouth to prevent anyone from hearing my screams. I thought this was it, I thought this was the moment that I die. I kicked and tried to fight as best as I could. I felt my heart flutter and thump in my chest like a bass drum. Then all of the sudden I get turned around and pushed up against the wall and it’s Leon holding his finger by his mouth indicating for me to be quiet. He gradually took his hand away from my mouth when he felt my breathing ease up. I tried to run away like I did before on the night of the race, but Leon grabbed my arm and pushed me back up against the wall. It was pretty hard, and my head bounced off. I pushed him back and I snapped and said “Don’t fucking touch me like that ever again.” He grabbed my head and whispered “Shhhh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He grabbed my face in a gentle way and hugged me, and said “I didn’t mean to do it that hard, but goddamnit Lacey what the fuck are you doing here?” I said “I have no excuse, just please don’t tell Vince.” He said “Jesus Christ, Lacey. You can’t be doing this every time and expect me to save you and cover for you. What if that wasn’t me you ran into? What if it wasn’t one of us and it was one them? Do you think you would still be alive right now!? Probably not!” I just looked down and started to cry. I want more than anything to be one of them but I guess I'm just not ready to handle it. He grabbed my chin and wiped my tears and continued and said “How did you even get here?” I said “I took Mia’s car.” Leon just heavily sighed and said “Go home, Lacey.” I said “Are you going to tell?” He turned around and said “No….. But if this happens again I will, Lacey. I’ll have to for your own good. Now, just go home, and don’t be seen! if you get caught we didn't just have this conversation.” Then he ran off towards the back of the warehouse. I got home before Letty and Mia did thankfully. I definitely would’ve gotten in trouble if Mia got home and found her car gone, but with Leon covering for me I can make up a lie and say I just went to a friend’s house or something, and I would get into way less trouble, but thankfully no lies needed to be said, at least on my part. I ran upstairs to my room, and didn’t come back out. I stayed up all night, I could hear their cars pull into the driveway. I turn over to look at the clock, and it’s 6:42 AM. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. Fifteen minutes go by and I hear a slight knock at my door. It was loud enough to get my attention, I don’t know if I would’ve heard it though if I had actually been asleep though. I was confused as hell and I pondered the thought of actually opening it but I guess I took too long because when I finally made the decision and cracked the door open nobody was there.

CHAPTER TEN:

I walk downstairs the next morning, I was supposed to be in school, but I obviously wasn’t going considering the fact that by the time I even fell asleep school had already started. I slowly walk down the stairs to see if I hear anyone talking and the house was dead silent. It was 10:00AM and I’m guessing the rest of them are still sleeping. I walk into the kitchen and nearly almost run into Vince and I jumped so hard, I thought my heart stopped. He says “Why are you so jumpy, and why didn’t you go to school?” I said “Why aren’t you asleep?” He just gave me a puzzled look and asked “Why would I be asleep?” He asked, and I said “I heard you guys pull in at like 6:30.” He said “Oh….. Well…. I slept for a few hours. Now answer my question.” I said “I didn’t feel like going.” He said “Okay,” and started to walk off. I said “That’s it? "Okay.” You’re not going to yell at me? Ask me why I didn’t feel like going? Nothing?“ He said "Why would I yell at you? I just asked you why you weren’t at school. You answered my question and that’s all I wanted.” He starts to walk off and turns back around and said “Oh, Lacey…. Dom and I are going to begin construction down here in the house. We’re going to build the princess Leon his own room so he can quit bitching about sharing one with me and bitching about his roommates at his other house. Anyways, it’s going to be pretty noisy so you might want to get some sleep now while you can.” I said “How did you know I haven’t really slept?” He said “…I didn’t… Until now.” Then he starts to walk off again and I stopped him and said “Hey Vince… Did you knock on my door this morning?” Vince looks extremely puzzled and said “No. Why would I do that?” I played it off and said “I must’ve heard your door close or something I don’t know.” He said “Alright.” Then walks away and goes back to his room with a bowl of cereal. I walk around the rest of the house and then walk into the living room. I see Leon sleeping on the couch. I slowly walk over to him but then quickly walk away thinking to myself what the hell am I doing? How do I even know it was him who knocked on my door? Wait who else could it have been? A few hours later around noon I decide to sit outside on the hammock. It’s such a beautiful, breezy day. I feel at peace and then suddenly the backdoor opens and it’s Leon. I jump up and start to walk off and he grabbed my arm, but then quickly took his hand back as if he's the one traumatized by grabbing me like that last night and he said “You know you don’t have to run from me.” I said “I know…..” He also said “I’m also really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to be so rough.” I said “…..I know…” He felt my head and felt a knot on it and said “Jesus Christ,” and then sighed really heavily. I said “It’s okay… Really… I’m not upset about it, I shouldn’t have been there in the first place, and I know you didn’t mean to do it.” He said “No. It's not alright. It's never alright under any circumstances for a guy to treat a girl like that. Don't justify it Lacey. I fucked up and I feel like shit. I would kill anyone who puts on a knot on your head and here I am giving you one.” I paused a moment and thought about what he just said it made me feel so loved and cared about that I nearly started crying, but in a joyous way. I look up at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He said “Anyways……. I could go for a haircut. If you're feeling up to it, that is.” Then looked at me with a smirk. I said “Okay…. But you owe me.” He said “Okay, what do I owe you? I said  ”….. I don’t know yet…. I mean…  I know, but I don’t want to talk about it yet.“ He looked a little confused but chuckled and said "Alright Lacey..” I ran back downstairs with the trimmers and scissors. He was already sitting in a porch chair outside. I plugged the trimmers into the outside outlet and said “They aren’t going to reach bring the chair back a little bit.” He did, and I proceeded. He said “Just do it exactly like the last time, and don’t take too much off, I like this style, just clean it up a little bit.” The feeling of touching his neck and running my fingers through his hair made me feel really…. Tingly. I wouldn’t know how else to describe it. He started talking and he said “So Lacey….. Remember when you came over to my house on my birthday?” I said yeah in such a tone as if I didn’t know where he was headed with this because I truly didn’t. He said “You left your backpack there. I forgot to tell you, I know it’s been two months since then, but the thought just kept slipping my mind, and you haven’t said anything about it, but then after what I found inside I figured I wouldn’t say anythig until you brought it up…. But you never did.” I started thinking to myself by saying shit that’s where I left it. I asked “You went through my bag…?” He said “No it was unzipped all I did was pick it up and you know what fell out.” I didn’t say anything and he continued and asked “So how long have you been dealing?” I said “Since August when school started.” He asked “Where are you getting all that weed from? I hope you’re not pushing for someone.” I said “I’m not. It’s my weed. I buy it, and charge more than what I bought it for.” He said “That’s a little fucked up.” I said “I know, but I don’t care. The preppy kids at my school don’t know how much a G costs anyway. They’ll pay whatever price I make up.” He said “Well then… Good. Finesse that shit.” I said “You’re not going to yell at me or something?” He said “No of course not. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Then he reached in his pockets and pulled out a fat stack of cash wrapped in my pink hair tie that I’ve also been looking for and said “You probably want this back.” I just sighed and blankly stared into his eyes and he said “Hey… As long as you’re not getting yourself into trouble I don’t care.” Then he said “Oh and what was the favor you wanted?” I started to laugh and said “Never mind.” He said “Nah what is it?” I said “I was just going to ask you to pretend to be my guardian or whatever for a piercing I want.” He said “Okay, that’s literally a piece of cake.” I said “But you’re probably not going to do it when I tell you the piercing that I want.” Then he said “Lacey…. If you say you want a clit ring I’m going to walk away and pretend like I never had this conversation.” I started laughing and said “No!! I want….” I was hesitant about it but continued and said “My nipples pierced…” He just blankly stared at me and said “Why?” I said “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pictures of nipple piercings and they look… Pretty…Cool.” He pondered the decision and said “Alright, I know a guy that did my tatts…. He’ll hook you up for half the price.” He started to walk away and I said “Leon….” He turned around and I said “Thank you..” He chuckled and “Yeah no problem.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

The next day Leon takes me to Downtown, LA. We live so close but never actually go here often. He took me to a tatt shop, and I was honestly nervous. I already have a tattoo that’s on my chest below my boobs, but nobody knows that except for me, and this one boy I dated when I was fifteen. He kind of took my virginity. Well he did, but as soon as he pooped my cherry he took it out and said gross, even though I literally told him I was a virgin and he was expecting it. Haven’t had any sexual contact since other than with myself. Anyways, I feel nervous maybe because of the fact that a needle is going to go through my nipple…. Twice. I told Leon “I’m nervous. Will you come back there with me?” He said “Lacey… Ummm…. Okay.” We got back there and Leon greeted the guy and called him Dave. He said “This is Lacey.” I just smiled real nervously and Dave asked “How old are you Lacey?” I look over to Leon and he gave me this reassuring nod as if it was all right to tell the truth. I said “I’m sixteen.” Leon said “Yeah so can you like cover her titts up, because she wants me to hold her hand.” I actually never asked him to hold my hand but I would appreciate it. Dave said “Yeah man sure, I’ll get what I use to cover genitals when I’m doing tattoos in that area.” He comes back with this paper towel type thing that felt like the thing dentists put around you to keep your clothes from getting ruined with your saliva and toothpaste. Leon turned around and I took my shirt off. Dave said “Wow, that’s a really nice tattoo.” I hesitated and said “Thanks…..” Dave put the cover over me and said “Leon, I’ll need you to hold it up so I can do the piercing, but this should do the job.” Leon held up the cover so Dave can pierce my titts with his left hand, and held my hand with his right, and stood behind my head. All I remember after that was clinching my teeth together and squeezing the shit out of Leon’s hand and I even bit on Leon's hand a little bit to prevent myself from screeching, but he didn't say anything or move his hand away so I'm guessing he didn't care about my impulsive decision. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes though. As we’re leaving I’m moving pretty slow because the shirt feels like it’s rubbing against my nipples in every way it can. I look down and my nipples are still rock hard and poking through my halter top. I thought to myself that maybe today was a bad day not to wear a bra, but then again wearing a bra might make this feeling worse. We get in the car and Leon says “Sooooooo….. You have a tattoo?” I said “Ummmm…. Yeah….. About that..” He cut me off and said “I don’t want to know… Actually, all I want to know is how old were you and where did you get it?” I said “I was fifteen. Chandler’s brother is a tattoo artist…….. and it’s on my chest… under my boobs.” Leon said “Alrighty then…. I actually meant what shop or whatever… But alright.” He kind of looked like he was blushing a bit and it made me smile and blush also. We get to the house and Leon said “You might want to wear a jacket by the way.” I cross my arms over my titts and started laughing a little bit. At this point I knew I could trust Leon with anything. We walk in and I head upstairs to go change right away and I put a baggy sweater on and some leggings. Then I walk back down stairs in time for dinner. Everyone was pretty much quiet for the most part so dinner wasn’t really exciting, but I’m content because of how close Leon and I have become. I made eye contact with him and he started smiling, but it was kind of like he’s still  blushing. At least that’s the way I remember it, or would like to remember it at least.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Dear Diary, It seems that I only write in you when months go by. It almost seems that’s how long it takes for me to think of something to write or have anything interesting to even write about. However, Leon has given me a much more interesting life lately so I should honestly be writing more. Anyways, Leon and I have become really great… friends. I can trust him with literally anything and it makes me so happy. I think I’m falling for him in ways that are indescriable. It kind of scares me how badly I am infatuated with him. I think I used to hide it pretty well, but now I’m not so sure, but at the same time I kind of don’t care if he did find out, but at the same time I do. It’s complicated. What if he finds out and completely rejects it and we lose the bond we have now? But what if he does find out and feels the same way and we can make our bond even stronger? I’ve also gotten more invovled in these “runs” my family consistently goes on, well I haven’t exactly been invited I just sneak. The first time was a street race that I wasn’t supposed to be at either. The second time was a bit more serious. They met at a sedcluded location and it looked like some kind of deal was going on. Leon caught me both times though, but he had his gun armed the second time and it was a bit more serious that I was there. Leon never told anyone though.That’s why I know I can trust him.

Today is Valentine’s Day and all day today at school I see these dumb ass kids with their gigantic teddy bears and boxes of chocolates. It was like parading your relationship around was the coolest fucking thing to do. When are these kids going to grow up and realize it’s not always about material items all the time? I don’t know but either way, it disgusts me. School quickly turned into a night club with kids practically dry humping each other in the courtyard all because of an overrated holiday. I personally think that if your relationship was actually solid any day should feel like Valentine’s Day. There shouldn’t be a designated day to show you love your significat other, that should literally be like every day. My point is that why on a particular day do you feel the need to spoil your loved one with materialistic items when love shouldn't be founded or grown from such things. You also shouldn’t be the person to ever expect expensive things to just be handed to you. Valentine's day really is just a day they mark up the prices on stupid, meaningless cards and candy. I’ve been often told that I’m an “old soul” I guess that’s why it’s so hard for me to relate and get along with people my age. I see the things and trends that people my age do, and I find it revolting. I relate to people who are much older than me so it’s hard to make friends, because not too many twenty-plus year olds want to hang out with a sixteen year old. I mean I can’t legally drink or get into night clubs so what would we even do? Watch movies? I guess that’s why I’ve come to find myself happier when I’m alone, but no matter how much someone tries to convince themselves and other people that they’re a “lone wolf” and independent, they need someone from time and time again. Most lone wolves act as if they never cared about anyone ever, but the truth is, they’ve lost that one person they cared about, so they figure being alone is better than to ever have to go through that feeling again. However, from my prespective I see it as not wanting to lose those people I care deeply about, so I keep my distance to prevent that from happening. It’s basically a paradox, but I can tend to be a little contradicting at times. As I’m casually walking and drifting in and out of reality and being consumed by my thoughts and fantasies like usual this preppy jocky dude grabs my arm really hard and turns me around I said “What the fuck is your problem man?” He said “I heard about you..” As I was trying to decipher what this could even possibly mean I said “Congratu-fucking-lations. Let me go.” This could really translate to anything. He probably heard a nasty rumor. He said “I know about your family.” This response startled me a bit because I don’t really even know about my own fucking family, so what could he or anyone else possibly fucking know? He said “I don’t want any problems, I just know you sell weed. I mentioned your family because everyone knows they’re up to illegal shit just nobody knows what… You obviously do so..” I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about nor do I see what that has to do with anything.” He said “Look, I don’t know where else to buy weed from and I promised this college girl that I would have some, I just need someone who wouldn’t say anything. This could mess up my football scholarships and my relationship.” I pondered the decision and then realized this man’s life, his scholarships, and relationship is seriously not my problem whether he got caught or not, but then I also thought that he's the type to get caught and only get a slap on the wrist if he ratted out who gave him the weed, and I'm nobody to him so he would have no problem doing so without hesitation. While I was thinking about whether or not I actually wanted to sell to this kid he said "Look. You won't get into trouble, I have a lot to lose such as my football scholarship. I won't get caught I'll be careful and even if I do get caught I have rich parents who are friends with a DA and some pretty high-up-there people. It'll be swept under the rug and nobody would know where the weed even came from." I sighed and said “Fine…. How much you need?” He said “A ground.” I said “Excuse me? Do you mean gram?” Where the fuck did he hear ground from? He said “Whatever it’s called.” I said “Okay…. fourty bucks.” He said “Alright no problem. Do you have change? I only have a fifty.” I said "I'm a drug dealer, not a cash register." He handed me the cash, which was actually ten more dollars than I had even originally asked for, and I handed him a fat nic sack, but he clearly doesn’t know the difference. I was laughing to myself thinking How can someone be this stupid? A gram isn’t even fourty dollars, it’s not even twenty dollars, and I didn’t even give him a gram. I gave him a nic sack that's only actually worth five bucks. I should feel really bad and petty but these dumb arrogant rich kids shouldn't be smoking weed if they have no fucking clue about the terminology, prices, and size. The fact that it was too easy to scam them was hilarious and not my problem, but rather my profit. Anyone like me could just tell by simply eyeballing the nic sack that it certainly wasn't a gram nor anywhere close to fourty dollars. I know what you're thinking; I should probably be more careful and profit more reasonable prices. However, I choose my clientele selectively and appropiately. If someone is buying from me and I know they would call me out on my shit even if I said it was worth five more dollars than what it actually was I wouldn't bullshit. You'd think that would get me caught and I'd lose customers, but like I said, I go to a school that's filled with a bunch of preppy rich kids who don't even know what they're doing when it comes to buying weed, and the small handful of kids like me at this school don't run their mouth about things like this because like me, they know running your mouth can get you into trouble. A few moments later as I’m walking down the road after the last bell of the day rang I see a familiar car. Unfortunately it wasn’t Leon it was Vince. He said “Get in.” We went an opposite direction than home so I said “Where are we going?” He said “No where special. I just have to go pick up something. Thought I would pick you up on the way.” The conversation stopped for awhile. Vince pulls up in front of a house, and I had to double-look to realize that it was the house of my fucking weed dealer. I started panicking but on the outside I probably still looked sleepy and normal even though I could feel my heart pound rapidly against my chest. My dealer walks outside and starts walking up to the car and at this point I think I’m literally having a panic attack I start looking for a way to escape this situation, but that’s obviously impossible so I just brace myself for whatever the fuck is about to happen. He shakes Vince’s hand and hands Vince some weed while Vince hands him the money in one handshake. That was the transaction handshake. The dealer looks over at me and then back at Vince and he asked “How do you know Lacey?” Vince looked at me and back at the dealer and said “How the fuck do you know Lacey?” I just sink down in my seat and start thinking to myself shit here we go. The dealer answers and said “I deal to her all the time.” Vince looks at me but replies to him and said “Oh really?” I start looking out the window because eye contact with Vince is the last thing I want to encounter right now. Vince’s looks could literally kill. When he started to drive off he didn’t say anything. I made sure I looked out the window the whole ride home. Once we pulled in the driveway I immediately went for the door but Vince grabbed my hand and said “You’re not going anywhere until we talk about this.” I started thinking to myself this is why I like Leon better. He doesn’t force me to talk about anything. I said “I buy weed, who cares? Can I go now?” He said “No. Why do you buy weed?” I said “Oh gee, Vince I wonder what I could possibly be doing with weed.. Hmmmmm… Baking?? Yeah baking delicious brownies for the drama class.” He clearly didn’t appreciate the sarcasm because his face seemed to get bright red with anger. I wasn't even being sarcastic to be a bitch, sarcasm was just my instinctual defense mechanism. Vince never gets angry with me so I said “Vince… I smoke weed okay….. You do it… Everyone else in the house does it… It’s not that big of a deal.” He said “I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.” I said “Well damn Vince what about all the secrets you’re keeping from me?” The tears in my eyes started forming and his eyes settled and he sighed deeply. I didn't even mean to ask this, it just slipped off my tongue. They're not joking when they say bottling things up inside is dangerous. Vince looked at me with bewilderment, slight anger, and frustration and said “The secrets I keep from you are for your own good.” I said “Yeah and the secrets I keep from you are for my own good too.” Vince said “Lacey… I never yell at you. I never get mad at you…. So why do you feel the need to keep things from me?” I said “Vince…. You don’t even understand what goes on in my head, and I don’t even know how to even begin to explain what goes on in my head, but even if I did I couldn’t tell you, because you’re never even around long enough for me to begin.” Vince said “What are you talking about?” I said “I know we’re fucking criminals, Vince! I'm not stupid. Even kids at school know about you guys. Probably a lot more than I even fucking do. We street race, we do mysterious illicit deals in random warehouses in the middle of nowhere, god knows what else the fuck we do yet you’re jumping on my case because of some fucking weed and some secrets? Fuck you Vince.” My heart sank to the floor when I realized I just ratted myself out about sneaking around that night of the warehouse incident. Thank God I didn't throw Leon under the bus, he would never trust me again. He didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t leave the car. Part of me really wanted to leave from the car but the other part of me just felt too emotionally and physically unstable to even move. I was also a little scared to move at this point. I just wanted to lay down and cry where I was sitting. Vince said “How the hell do you know about the warehouse?” I said “Goddamnit Vince… I followed you, okay? I don’t care if you get mad about it, but I am sorry. I’m not a little girl anymore. I understand now, I’m not dumb. You can’t just keep feeding me this bullshit and expect to tell you everything when I don’t even know who you are anymore Vince… Any of you at that. What were YOU doing at sixteen, Vince? Tell me that. I bet it’s worse than anything I’ve ever fucking done, yet you want to sit here and lecture me about keeping secrets and smoking weed?” Vince said “Alright. I think it’s time.” I just gave him this puzzled ass look and he said “Go inside and wait for me in the dining room.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Vince seemed a little pissed off so I did exactly what he said and I sat and waited in the dining room. My stomach was all in knots and my heart was pounding. I had no idea what to prepare for. Vince walks in the dining room and literally everyone was with him, even Leon. Dom is the first one to speak and he said “So Lacey….. Vince told me you know about what we do. Well, at least the tip of the iceberg.” Everyone seemed so calm, yet I basically just called them out on their "top secret" bullshit. I just sat in my chair with my legs and arms crossed and I tried to avoid eye contact by looking down at my boring all black shoes. I felt like this was going to be an attack even though the approach was light. Dom grabbed my chin to advert my attention to his eyes and said “No one is mad at you. We all knew this day would come. We just want you to be prepared for all the shit it comes with instead of sneaking around. You could get yourself…. Well... Killed for doing that shit.” I got your typical family-like lecture that lasted what seemed like an hour, the only difference is that normal families don’t lecture their teenagers for sneakig around and overseeing their illicit activites. A couple weeks go by and I still stayed on the outside with the exception of some of the minor details Leon would share with me, but even those I had to beg for especially now after seeing how I spilled the beans on the warehouse incident and could've potentionally gotten him in trouble. Honestly, if I were them I would kind of be embarassed at the fact that a sixteen girl is calling them out on their bullshit, and they thought they were so sneaky. Or have they not really been trying to sneak, and that I've only just now started to become more observant and ballsy? Whatever the case may be a sixteen year old high school girl still called them out on their bullshit. The next morning at school a girl that I have been getting rather close with asks me if I wanted to ditch school with her and hangout. Of course I agreed to it, because why wouldn’t I? I hate school anyway, and I needed some friends, I suppose. I met this girl a few months ago in class, she transferred from a school in Sacramento. She’s kind of tall, kind of thick, but the good kind, with long brown curly hair, that matched her brown eyes. Her name is Jackie, short for Jaqueline, and she was a lot like me. She was down to earth, open-minded, and chill. The only difference was that she could make friends easily. She had the whole school in the palm of her hand within weeks. It’s not that I was shy, it’s that I don’t trust people. I still don’t fully trust her. I can hang out with people for months, years even, and still not fully trust them. I guess that’s an expected trait with the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to. It’s just how I am. I’m always mentally prepared to be stabbed in the back. It makes it much easier to deal with when it actually happens, and you don’t get as hurt. I rather have one good friend than a lot and not know who is secretly my enemy. I expected her to have invited a lot of her other friends to come as well, but it was just me and her. I asked her where we were going and she said “Over to a friend of mine’s house. He has weed.” I said “I have weed….” She looked at me and said “I know, but….. he has…. other stuff too.” I said “Ohhh…. I didn’t know you were into anything hardcore.” She said “Xanax isn’t that hardcore.” She brushed it off as if that was such a normal thing to say. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start an argument, but pretty much anything outside of alcohol and marijuana was beyond my element. I’ve done other drugs a few times, but it never became a habit. I also thought about the severity of selling anything higher than weed. You deal with turf when it comes to that shit, and the Mexicans run this area. Which makes sense that Jackie has connects in this area, because she is Mexican. We finally get to the house, and it’s a torn down piece of shit in the middle of a pretty sketchy neighborhood. Jackie and I are the whitest people on the entire block, even though she is half Mexican. She has the accent though, so if she were to speak she would instantly blend in leaving me the sore thumb. She proceeded up to a house that had bars on the windows and some of them were boarded up. Even the screen door had bars on it. Some sketchy guy came to the door and opened it and talked through the screen door and said “Who’s she?” Jackie said “She’s my friend, it’s cool.” He didn’t say anything else after that and he just stared at me for awhile, I stared back with a pretty fierce look, mostly because I was irritated but also because I was out of my comfort zone, but on the inside I was a little nervous because I hate willingly putting myself into sketchy situations, but I'm already in too deep to escape now. I sit down on the couch next to Jackie, I look around and observe my surroundings, and find any possible exits, just in case. Just part of my nature. The coffee table was filled with cigarette ashes, food, and cocaine, various pills, weed, other random drugs, and a pistol. Next to the door, right by where I was sitting was a wooden baseball bat which is only a good weapon if you have upper body strength, which I seriously lack. Some dude who didn’t say a word was breaking up a nug of weed and watching a shitty box TV with in-and-out picture quality. Which I found pretty odd. All that drug money, but you can’t afford a better television with greater reception? Jackie got her Xanax and I figured we could leave now, so I stood up, and the guy who opened the door said “Where you going?” I said “I thought we were leaving now,” and then I looked back at Jackie, and she said “It’s okay Lacey, we can chill for a little while.” I thought about getting my phone out and calling Leon, but as soon as I reached in my backpack to grab my phone the guy said “What you doing reaching in your bag for?” I hesitated to answer, and grabbed my water bottle and said “I’m just getting my water.” I started panicking because if I get my phone out and call Leon they’ll probably think I’m calling the cops and they’ll kill me. I mean, if I were them I would assume the same thing. The guy who was watching TV started feeling up Jackie’s legs and up her skirt. She didn’t stop him and he said “Wanna bump?” She said “Sure,” and smiled flirtatiously. Then they each did a line of cocaine that was sitting on the coffee table for god knows how long. Even though anything outside the world of marijuana and alcohol was considered extreme to me, I could handle the Xanax, but now she's doing cocaine? I need to get out of this situation, but how? I started thinking to myself great I befriended a junkie whore who got me into a sketchy situation. After she did a line she said “Lacey, come to the bathroom with me.” We proceeded to walk to the bathroom and the two guys stared at us, there was more guys in a room towards the back who shut the door as we walked by. We walk into the bathroom and Jackie shuts the door and I say “Jackie we need to get the fuck out of here.” She said “No, I’m having fun.” I said “Why the fuck did you want me to come in here with you then?” She said “To take selfies with me.” I said “Are you fucking kidding me? Selfies? Sorry Jackie but I’m fucking leaving, and I don’t care if you come with me or not.” She said “You need to calm down Lacey, those guys out there don’t trust you.” I said “They don’t trust me? Bitch, I don’t trust them! They're the sketchy douche bags with shitty TV reception, and an extension cord running from the neighbor's house just so they could have power.” Jackie said “Okay, okay, okay. Just give me five more minutes to pinch some more xannies from Miguel alright. If I let him feel up on me a little bit he’ll give me more than the cost.” I rolled my eyes, and said “Fine, but after this Jackie I’m fucking done.” She said “Sorry, I’ll never take you here again.” I said “No Jackie, I’m fucking done with you, I can't stand people who act like you in sketchy situations. You're so unalert and careless, and that's dangerous.” I proceeded to walk out of the bathroom without her. She sat down next to me on the couch and gave me a dirty look, and then started flirting with Miguel. The other one not named Miguel asked me if I was thirsty, and I said “No thanks, I have my water.” He said “I don’t see you drinking it.” So I did to get him to stop talking to me and to prevent him from offering me anything and preventing me from having to say no to his offer which could end badly. Fifteen minutes later I started feeling light-headed. I immediately knew something was wrong and that they drugged me. I stood up immediately and ran for the door, but one of the guys grabs me and puts his hand over my mouth, and after that I blacked out. I faintly remember some details from fading in and out of conciousness. I remember a group of guys raping Jackie who was unconcious. I felt my pussy to see if I too had been raped. I didn’t see any blood, and I didn’t feel wet. I blacked back out, then woke up again in an alley behind a 7/11 in Koreatown, and it was pitch black outside. I didn’t have my phone, and I didn’t have my backpack. I started freaking out and crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to call the police from a payphone, or call Leon. I had blood all over my clothes and my shirt was all ripped up. I remember seeing what they did to Jackie and thought to myself that I was just gangbanged. I also came to the realization that if I wanted to call Leon from a payphone I would need money and I literally had nothing except for the torn clothes on my back. I ran to the first place I knew I would feel safe– Leon’s house. Any normal person would call the police, but I don't have a normal life, I have this one. I climb up the hill Leon’s house sits on, the side of the house slopes down to the street, and because of the effects of the drugs that I'm still mildly exerperiencing, the little hill felt steeper, and taller than it actually was. I bang on his window loud hoping he was actually there, I see the blinds go up fast and Leon pointed a gun and lowered it fast when he realized it was me said “Jesus Christ, Lacey,” loud enough for me to hear it through the window, then he opens the window and pushes the screen out, then gets a real good look at me and his jaw dropped, I started sobbing, panting and barely getting a word out, and he said “Holy shit.” Then he pulled me up through the window as fast as he could, I didn't have the strength to pull myself up, and we fell to the ground. I didn’t let go of him we just kind of sat there holding each other. “Lacey, baby, I need you to tell me what happened.” He said and I said “I’m still trying to remember what even happened.” He said “Lacey, baby, I need you to breathe, calm down, and think!” I tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. Leon grabbed a water bottle from the night stand next to his bed and held it nearly like a baby bottle for me to drink, because I apparentally looked too incapable to do it myself which means I must look more terrible than I feel and that wasn't a great thing to think about seeing how I can't remember what even happened to me. After I caught my breath I started to explain every detail I faintly remembered through my panting. I could see Leon’s face grow pale as I explain all of this, but then after I finished all I could recollect I see his face grow red with anger. I’ve seen Leon upset before, but I’ve never seen him this vexed. He literally punched a hole in his wall, and then pulled himself together again and kneeled back down on the ground next to me and grabbed my face gently and said “Lacey I need you to to remember where this happened. These mother fuckers aren’t going to get away with this.” I started panting and freaking out again and said “Leon I can’t. I don’t remember.” I start sobbing and panting and repeating “I can’t remember” over and over. Leon eventually held me again and didn’t say anything this time, he just held me tightly and didn’t let go. Twenty minutes went by and I calmed down a lot more than what I was, but I was still obviously shaken up, and Leon said “I just remembered something.” Then stood up and made a phone call. After the call had ended he said “A buddy of mine has a wife who’s a doctor. She does a lot of… Uh….. Off duty type of work for my buddy and his friends. They’re thankfully in the area.. Kind of, and I asked my friend to ask his wife to come check you out.” When the doctor showed up I was still in the same position on the floor and the doctor kneeled down next to me and touched my shoulder and said “Hi Lacey, I’m Tara. I need you to do a few things for me, okay?” I just looked at her through my tears and nodded my head and she continued with “Good, I need you to take your skirt and underwear off, and lay on the bed.” Leon interrupted and said “Should I leave?” I frantically looked at him and said “No, please don’t!” Tara said “Leon, can you get me a clean towel and lay it down on your bed so Lacey can lay on it?” Leon came back with the towel and said “I think I should leave Lacey, I don’t think it’d be appropiate if I.. Uh… Saw….” Tara interrupted him and said “You won’t see anything Leon, I have something to cover everything from your prespective, I’m sure she’d like you to hold her hand.” I immediately shook my head yes, because Leon was literally my safety net.  Leon said “Alright.” Then sat on the bed behind my head reched for my left hand and held it up to his mouth kissed it then rested it on his chin. Tara began her examination and said “I have wonderful news Lacey. You weren’t raped. Whoever drugged you definitely planned on doing so, but you fought back, and clearly won.” I asked “What does that mean? Did I kill someone!?” I know she's a professional, but she responded a little too calm to a question like that and explained “You’re not covered in enough blood for it to have been a homicide but you don’t have any wounds deep enough to have that much blood on your shirt so it’s definitely not yours. Also I’ve noticed that you have skin under your fingernails so you definitely clawed at them. Judging by the blood on your shirt and the fingernails I say you roughed them up pretty good.” I asked “But I woke up in a random alley. They must’ve put me there.” Tara said “Or you just don’t remember what happened because of the drugs. You probably got away and ran, until the drugs blacked you out again, and then passed out in the alley. You have no vaginal tears or even signs of intercourse at all. When a girl is sexually assaulted she's usually drier than the Sahara desert which causes severe vaginal tears from the force implemented by the attacker.” Leon said “So she’s…. Okay?” Tara nodded with such reassurance and said “Yes! She’s perfectly fine other than the trauma, bruises, and scratches.” Leon looked at me, and smurked a thankful smile. Tara went to her bag and pulled out some unmarked scripts and said “Here’s some medication.” She marked each bottle with a different letter and said “This one is for relaxation because of the trauma. It's like Xanax but a lot more mild." I though to myself What are the fucking odds? Xanax is what got me into this mess in the first place. She continued and said "...And this one is for headchaes, it’s called firocet it’s for severe migraines. I recommended not taking anything until tomorrow afternoon. You wouldn’t want to mix this with whatever they drugged you with. From professional experience I’d say it was probably roofies, or some generic form, due to your loss of memory. You should be fine after a good night’s sleep.” Something about Tara was so ironic. She was soft spoken, reassuring, calm, and her vibe was peaceful. Yet, at the same time she’s basically a mob doctor. I’m not dumb. I figured it out right away when Leon said “off duty” work and I thought to myself how did someone like this who clearly wasn’t raised in this life become apart of this life? How did she end up marrying someone apart of this life? How did it all work out for her? It all seemed too weird to me, but at the same time, I was envious. She has the best of both worlds. I’m sure she has a lot of friends and connections on both sides of the law. After Tara took my urine for some various tests she proceeded to pack up. Leon said “Thanks so much Tara. Tell Jax I said hey.” She said “Of course, it’s not a problem.” Tara proceeds to leave and said “I’ll have Jax give me your number Leon so I can call you about the results of her tests.” Then Leon walks her out to her car and comes back in the room and I sit up on Leon’s bed making sure I’m still covered and I said “Can I shower?” He said “no shit,” and kind of chuckled. He said “The towel you’re sitting on is clean, if you want to use that one.” Then he walked over to his bathroom and started to turn the shower on. I slowly walked in behind him with the towel wrapped around my waist and he said “If you want it hotter just turn it to the left.” Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked out closing the door behind him. I slowly unbottoned my school shirt as I remembered what happened to Jackie, and if she was safe. In a way I felt a little guilty knowing that I got away and that she probably didn’t. Then again, even though nobody deserves what she got by any means, it was her fault for being to absent-minded by willingly putting herself in harm's way and dragging me into it. I sat down inside the shower and let the water run down on me. I was just sitting there for about twenty or so minutes before I lifted my head up. I looked up at Leon’s shower things and I picked up his body wash, put some in my hands and started rubbing it all over my body. Even though Tara said I wasn’t harmed I still felt disgusting. I didn’t even feel comfortable touching myself down there. After I got out of the shower I gradually walked out of the bathroom in my towel feeling awkward. This has been something I’ve fantasied about for a long time, but now I feel gross and I don’t even want Leon to look at me. Leon pulls out one of his jersey tank tops that he always wears with the number eight on it and said “I figured you needed something to put on after the shower. I also have some clean boxers if you’re okay with that.” I said “Yes, that’s fine.”  Leon then turns around as if he expected me to change here instead of walking back into the bathroom, so I did change in the room. I don’t know why I guess it was instinct. Despite everything I just went through I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. I only felt uncomfortable with myself at this point. I started to lay down on the bed afterwards and Leon started to make a bed for himself on the floor. I said “What are you doing?” He paused with a stunned expression on his face and said “I’m giving you the bed.” I said “Leon….. I would feel like shit if you slept on the floor in your own room.” He said “It’s really not that big of a deal.” I said “The bed is huge. Just sleep next to me.” He said “Lacey, I’m not sleeping with you.” “I said next to me not with me.” Leon just sighed heavily and then climbed up in bed next to me as if he knew he wanted to sleep there all along. Who would sleep on the hardwood floor of their own room when there’s only one tiny girl in their bed? There’s plenty of room. Moments later I was dead alseep. A few hours must have went by and I woke up to Leon shaking me out of a bad dream and the sun was peaking through the windows. I must have been tossing franctically because of the dream. I have had severe night terrors like that before. Vince has told me about them. Leon said “Are you okay?” I sat there in silence for a minute and said “I don’t think it was a dream, I think I was remembering stuff that actually happened. I saw the house. I remember what the house looked like. It was light blue, very torn down, it had bars on all the windows, and there was some word on the side in black spray paint. Not like grafitti but like a random ass word.” He said “If you saw it in person would you be able to point it out?” I shook my head and added “We would have to start where we did though so I can remember my steps exactly.” Leon said “We?” I said “Me and this girl Jackie. She’s the one who brought me there. We obviously ditched school. We walked there from the back of the school by the football field. It was like only a couple blocks away.” Leon jumped out of bed immediately and grabbed his keys and said “Lets go.” I didn’t hesitate and I don’t know why. In the car Leon mentioned something I already knew and said "I'm pretty sure that area is Mexican ran. Maybe Hector will know." I said "Don't get anybody else involved." He said "You're right." We started to drive past my school as the sun was just peaking up over the horizon. He stopped at a stop sign as we approached the end of the football field and said “Where do I go from here?” I said “Make a left, at the end that block make a right and go straight.” Putting myself in the same exact setting and retracing my steps has actually helped me remember a ton. As Leon approached the last direction, my heart sank in my stomach. I saw the house and an eerie feeling like I just knew that was it. A flash back came to mind. I saw myself running away from the house after squeezing through the side of the bars on one of the back windows. It was remembered from a first-person presepective, but I saw the memory as if it were a movie scene. Leon stopped in front of the house next door to the blue house and looked over at me and said “Is that the one?” I just slowly shook my head yes all while staring at the house with fear. He said “Are you ready to do this?” I look over at him with slight panic and said “Do what?” He said “Investigate.” We started to walk around towards the back of the hosue and I was holding on to his arm because I felt very weak in the knees when Leon noticed something I did at the same time. Leon reached for it and said “You must’ve squeezed through these bars. This is a torn piece of your shirt.” I shook my head and said “Yeah, I remember that.” The window was still open, and Leon squeezed his hand through the side of the bars and moved the curtain out of the way to look through. No one was in the room, but I saw my backpack and said “Shit.” Leon said “Don’t worry. We’ll get it back.” I looked over at him slightly confused at his reassurance as if he could simply walk in there with no problems and retrieve it. Leon and I both heard something from inside the house and Leon quickly reached his hand out of the window and said “Go back to the car and start it, and wait there.” I did exactly that and waited anxiously. I saw Leon circle back around to the front, open the screen door and kick the other door in. My heart started racing I was so scared. I heard three gun shots and I started to have a panic attack. Seconds later I see Leon run out with my backpack and jump into the already started car and drive off immediately. I didn’t even ask questions because I already knew. This was a side of Leon I’ve never seen before and it was a side of him I didn’t even think he could have. Vince, certainly, but not Leon. As we approached his house again he stopped in the driveway and said “Everything’s okay now.” I asked him “Was there a girl in there?” He said “No. I would’ve saved her.” I said “What about the cops?” Leon looked at me with an expression on his face as if he really wanted to say Are you serious? However, he said “With all the drugs around that house, the cops will just count the bodies and their blessings and close the case as a gang related drug crime. No ties back to you or me.” I wasn’t even freaking out and that’s what scared me. The fact that this feels like something I wanted concerns me and the fact that I feel so relieved concerns me even more. I feel like if Leon didn’t do it I honestly think that I eventually would’ve and that's truly the most concerning feeling about all of this. Leon walked me back into the house and picked up his phone and made a call. I obviously couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Leon said “Hey, it’s me…… I need a favor…… 616 14th ave….. I need you to make it look more gangster and Latin King related….” A few moments later I said “Who was that?” Leon told me everything and at this point after what just occurred I feel like he wouldn’t even hesitate to answer or try to beat around the bush and I was right. He said “A guy named Saul. He’s from New Mexico, that’s where I met him. He often comes to this area, or has guys who work for him in this area. Long story short…. He’s a lawyer with a lot dirty connections. He’s basically a lawyer to keep his guys and connections out of the cage.” I asked him “Why did you call him? I thought you said the killings weren’t going to lead back to us.” He said “I’m just making sure, Lacey.” The whole time Leon spoke in a monotone, depressed like voice. I went over and sat next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me. I asked “How many people have you killed before Leon?” He unwrapped his arm around me and sighed. He admitted “Just a few…….” I could see the tears build up in his eyes as he sighed as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest. I didn’t even think differently of him though, and I think that scared me a bit. I was still just as infatuated with him as I was when I didn’t know anything about him at all. I kissed him on the cheek as tears came down my face and I whispered “I’m sorry I got you into this.” He looked me in the eyes and “Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry that this even happened to you in the first place.” He kissed me on the forhead and our faces were so close together and I could feel the vibe that both of us wnated to kiss but neither of us were ballsy enough to make that move. Then all of the sudden a car screeched as it rolled up in the driveway. We both jumped up when we realized it was Vince. He ran towards the front door and Leon made me get under the bed and he shoved my clothes under there too. I had no time to ask why I had to hide. It wasn’t like we actually hooked up or anything, so there was honestly really nothing to hide from Vince. However, like I mentioned before, Vince is a react first, ask questions later, kind of guy. If he saw me in Leon's bedroom wearing his clothes he would've automatically assumed and started beating up Leon before any explanation could even be expressed. Vince came charging into Leon’s room and he seemed out of breath. He asked “Have you heard from Lacey?” Leon asked why and Vince responded very frustrated and said “Just answer the fucking question.” Leon said “No… Now tell me why.” Vince sighed with disbelief and said "I got a call from Hector last night. He said he saw Lacey walking around disoriented by a 7/11 in Koreatown. That's like only two blocks from here. I went there and couldn't see her anywhere. She was covered in bruises and blood and fucked out of her mind. I went by the school today also and she isn’t there.“ Leon said "What do we do?” Vince said “I’m going to go look for her. Maybe Tran picked her up as revenge. I’m going to kill that chink bastard.” Leon said “You need to think rationally.” Vince said “The only rational thing to do if Tran hurt, or even touched my sister, would be to kill him.” Leon said “But what if he didn’t? You can’t just run up in the Asian side of town with an accusation like that without starting a war that we made ammends to keep from happening between us and them.” Vince said “If he hurt or touched Lacey he’s going to get a lot more than a fucking war. I'm going to kill him and his whole goddamn family if he even touched the only thing in the world that I care about.” Then Vince stormed out and slammed the front door. I peaked my head out from under the bed and said “Why did you lie to him?” Leon shook his head and said “That's a dumb question. Because Vince doesn’t think rationally… If he knew what happened he would’ve done what I just did but a lot sloppier and he wouldn’t have been smart about it. Plus he doesn’t have Saul as a connection. Plus no time would have even existed to explain any of it to him anyway. He would've saw me and you and immediately assumed that we fucked.” So what if he storms through and kills whoever Tran is instead? Leon said “I’m going to call him in 20 minutes and tell him you called me from a payphone.” Twenty minutes go by and Leon makes that phone call and puts it on speaker. Vince said “A payphone from where?” Leon said “7/11 in Koreatown. I just picked her up. Come back to the house, she’s freaking out and she wants you.” I said “I’m in your clothes, do you really expect me to put those back on?” I said pointing to the dirty, blood covered clothes under the bed. He said “No, I’ll tell him I gave a change of clothes, upon your request.” Vince comes charging in just as he did before but instead of frustration he seemed relieved. Then he was frustrated again as he held me and said “What the fuck happened!? Why didn’t you call me? Why did you call Leon? Why didn’t you call me last night? And why are you in Leon’s clothes? And where were you? I checked the 7/11.” I said “I asked Leon for a change of clothes I didn’t want to be in those anymore.” Pointing to the dirty clothes I pulled back out from under the bed to make this more convincing and I continued with "And I was passed out in the back alley." Vince said “Okay.. Now tell me what the fuck happened.” I told him the lie Leon and I went over as we were waiting for him to get back to the house. I said “I ditched school yesterday with some girl I didn’t really know her. I just have a class with her and she asked if I wanted to come along so I did. We hung out all day at Joe’s Creek……. Later that night when we we’re going to walk home we got jumped…. I didn’t know where I was, and I don’t know where she went, I don’t know where she lives. I don't really know anything about her at all to be honest.” Vince looked like he was digesting the story as he was biting his thumbnail and he just stood me up and hugged me again. He said “Let’s go home.” I looked at Leon because I didn’t want to leave him, and he said “I’ll  be over later for dinner.” Vince turned around and hugged him too and said “Thanks for everything you do for my sister, the tutoring and well, everything.” He said “Of course man.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

A couple of days go by and I’ve been a hermit inside my bedroom. The only person who periodically came by to check on me was Leon. Today he knocked on my door and had a gigantic teddy bear in his hands and said “I figured you’d like this.” I laughed and hugged the big teddy bear. Leon sat down at the foot of my bed and said “You know you have to come out of this room eventually.” I said “I know…..” Leon then asked “How are you holding up?” I said “Fine…. How are you holding up?” He smirked and said “I’m fine.” I asked “Do you think Vince believes my story?” Leon said “Well he hasn’t shot up the neighborhood around your school, has he?” I laughed and said “So I guess that’s a yes?” Leon laughed and said “Honestly Lacey, I don’t know. I think he’s just glad you’re okay.” I just smiled and Leon got up, smiled back and walked away. A few moments later I walked down stairs for the first time in a few days and Vince grabs me and hugs me and said “Hey kiddo.” I smiled at him and he said “Your face healed up nicely,” and kind of chuckled and addded a joke to it and said "Well, not that it was any good before." I playfully punched him in the stomach and laughed. Then he asked “Were you scared?” I looked down and shamefully shook my head yes. He brushed my hair behind my ears and said “Well you’re safe now, kiddo.” Later that night the family was suiting up for another “run” and I started to walk back up to my room, and Vince said “Hey Lacey….” I turn around expecting him to finish his sentence. He looks at Dom and Dom shakes his head signaling 'yes’ and Vince turns back around and said “Want to come along?” My heart sank, because of course I wanted to but was I ready for this? Leon looked up at me and smiled. I said “Yes.” Vince said “Well… Suit up.” I said “I don't know what that means.." Vince said “I was joking. You can come but I’m not giving you a gun…. Yet.” As we were walking out the door Leon put his arm around me and said “Congrats. Welcome to the big leagues.” As we were driving down a similar road much like the one from the night of the warehouse incident we pull off to a different secluded warehouse. As we step inside they all start pulling white tarps off of these street racing cars. They were all black and incognito. Definitely the exact opposite of the flashy, colorful street racing cars with tricked out decal that they’re normally in. However, there was a green luminescent light from under the vehicles. I wasn't shocked. There's not way there wasn't at least one thing tricked out about the cars other than the cars themselves. Vince said “Lacey, you’re riding with Leon.” Leon put his arm around me and walked me over to his car. There were four cars in total. Letty and Jesse drove their own and Vince rode with Dom. Leon had his own too, and inside the car was another police scanner just like the one in his normal car. He looked over at me and said “Are you ready?” I said “For what exactly?” He said “Don’t worry, all we have to do is sit, well and drive too. It’ll be okay. We don’t have much to do unless an incident occurs.” Then he reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. The awkward tension began to rise as he didn’t exactly let go of my hand. Believe me, I enjoyed it but at the same time I was nervous. I’m the one who casually broke the connection of our hands and then he put his hand on the stick, put it into gear, and began to drive behind following the rest. He turns the police scanner on and after about twenty minutes of observing police whereabouts he picked up the walkie-talkie and said “No cops within five miles, we’re good.” Then he switched gears and began to drive faster. He glanced over at me and said “You’re being awfully quiet.” I said “I’m just soaking it all in.” He chuckled and said “Well, is it everything you thought it would be?” I said “No, not really. Thought it would be more… exciting.” Leon said “Well, it’s really only exciting for Vince, Dom, and Letty. Jesse and I are really just extras in case anything goes wrong.” I asked “How come Mia never comes with you guys?” He said “Mia doesn’t approve, plus she looks after you. These heists are fairly new, but when you were younger they were still doing shit like this. Someone needed to stay with you. She’ll turn her head and look the other way, and lie for us if police ever got involved, but she doesn’t want to be apart of it anymore than that. Dom doesn’t blame her either.” Meanwhile I can see the truck drive left to right on the road with screeching tires and loud honks. I asked “So why did I get invited to come along?” Leon sighed and said “Do you want the truth?” I said “Well, yeah.” He said “Because everyone knows you’re Vince’s little sister. Everyone knows how the Scaletta mentality works, and you’ve already proven our theory.” I said “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said “That if we don’t properly train you and take you along, that you’re going to be hard-headed and follow us anyway. Rather have you trained and prepared for any circumstance, than absent-mindedly trying to do this shit on your own.” He looked over at me and “You’re very brave though, I’ll give you that. I admire that, actually.” I just kind of smirked. He said “Now, stop being careless, and start being smart, like I know you are. I’m the one who convinced Vince to let you come along tonight. I said you needed it, and Dom actually agreed.” During that conversation is when the whole heist was going down. I think Leon tried to distract me in a way, but the walkie-talkie was going off and I can hear Vince say “I’m going in.” The tires and motion of the truck were even more sparatic than before. I heard one gun shot, and a lot of tire screeching. Then about thirty minutes later we all pull over and get out of the cars, I see Vince hop out of the semi-truck. They all move to the back of the truck and load the cars up with boxes and boxes of what seems to be DVD players, but the boxes obviously do not contain DVD players. I start to walk away while they’re distracted by the boxes to look inside the truck. I see there is no more windshield and the driver on the floor of the truck but there was no blood. Vince came up behind me and said “It was tranq bullet. Now come on.” I got back into the car with Leon and he said “That’s it.” I said “That’s it? What do we do with the boxes?” He said “Take what’s in them out at the garage, and burn the boxes.” I kept repeating “That’s it? Really? Like that’s it?” I said it in a manner of disappointment, I expected it to be more of a top-notch heist, but it didn’t even feel criminal it was so quick and they made it seem really easy. Leon said “Trust me Lacey, sometimes the operation gets really dirty, tonight was just an easy night.” I said “Why tranq bullets?” Leon said “We’re not murderers!” Then there was a pause because Leon remembered who he was talking to and said “Unless, we have to be. Plus, it keeps the FBI away.” I said “For how long though? If we keep doing it over and over, they’re bound to get involved eventually right? I mean they’re organized and pre-meditated heists, whether there’s dead bodies or not.” Leon looked at me as if he knew I was right but he didn’t want to admit it. The same way Vince looked. He said “I know… Nobody listens to me though. I’ve tried telling them this but Dom is the shot caller and Vince will back him up no matter what, and the rest of us just follow to get a cut, but also to protect them if anything goes down.” I said “So, you’re saying the FBI is bound to get involved eventually? Isn’t that dangerous?” He said “Lacey this lifestyle is dangerous regardless, but yes. However, Dom is smart, he knows his way around things,  he would never put himself in a position to where he spends years in prison again. He spent two years for that assault charge and always says he’ll die before he goes back. We'll just move on to a new kind of heist just like before and leave law enforcement on dead trails.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

A couple of days go by, and things began to fall back in routine. I’ve been going to school, doing what I need to do and going home, I haven’t seen Jackie at all, but is it bad that I don’t care? I mean, of course apart of me does because we basically went through the same thing, even though I apparently had a chance to fight back and she didn’t. She could be dead, but the other half of me doesn’t even care because it’s her fault. She got herself into that mess and nearly dragged me into it as well. I received a text from Leon telling me he’s out in the front of the school. I found it very odd because he never picks me up from the front of school. As I was getting into his car I noticed people staring at me, or maybe it was just Leon’s car. After all, it is an expensive, bright yellow Nissan Skyline GT-R imported from Europe with decal all over it. Still made me uncomfortable though to have the feeling of all eyes on me. I got in the car and asked him why he’s picking me up from the front. He said “I was already parked out here, might as well. Your school called me today to set up a conference.” I panicked said “A conference for what, and why did they call you?” He said “I’m the only one they got ahold of. I only answered because I thought it was you, I reocgnized the school number. Anyways, they wanted a conference because there’s apparently rumors about you going around at school… And because you've been skipping a lot.” I said “What?? What are the rumors?” He said “Petty teenage bullshit. How you probably hired someone to scare all your teachers into giving you good grades………And hired those same people to kill Jackie.” I screamed “What?” Leon said “Don’t  worry Lacey, I worked it all out. I told them you didn’t even know a Jackie, and that the whole grade thing just sounds stupid and petty.” I said “No, I mean Jackie is actually dead?” Leon said “I’m having that Saul I told you about ask one of his accomplices to look into it. So, I don’t know yet, and it’s not your fault so don’t even begin to feel that way. She got you into that mess. If she’s alive she’s the one who should be feeling bad for you.” After a short pause he added "And Tara called.... You don't have any diseases." I said "There's always a bright side."   After a few more momets of silence, Leon asked “Do you want to come over to my place? Maybe smoke a little bit, and chill? You seem stressed out.” I said “Yeah, sure.” After we smoked Leon confessed some of his past to me. He said “I started drifting when I was fourteen. I’ve been to a lot of places, and met a lot of people. I’ve never felt as comfortable around anyone as I do with you…..and your family.” I said “Our family.” He chuckled and said “Of course.” I asked “What made you stay with us?” He said “Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I was just tired of running. Whether it be that I was running from something or running to find something, I was just tired of it. However, I am sure glad that I did stay.” I asked “Where all have you been?” He said “A lot of places, I’ve been to Chicago, I did this whole restaurant bus boy job, but at the end of the day, I worked for this guy in the porn industry.” I shot him this look and he said “No, I’ve never participated in the porn industry… I just did some errands for him. Running guns and money and being pretty much a taxi driver for his porn whores. I also stayed in New Orleans for awhile. I went by the name Sean Riley. I was boosting cars and working a chop shop, much like I do now. I’ve also been to New Mexico. Met this kid named Jesse and I sold meth for him. He’s how I met Saul, and gained him as a connection. Those aren’t the only places I’ve been to, but definitely the only ones I’m willing talk about.” I said “How did you meet the doctor’s husband?” He said “Oh, Jax? I did a couple of jobs for him and his crew. They’re from a town called Charming, it’s up north closer to the Nevada border. Very ironic name though considering what goes on in that town.” We went silent for a little bit and he laid on the bed next to me and said “So, tell me more about you..” I laughed but he said “I’m serious. It’s so obvious that you hold a lot of shit in. I think after all we’ve been through together and all I’ve told you so far, you should be able to open up.” I didn't say anything and he said "No pressure, though." I said “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything like that. I just don’t know how to share what’s on my mind, I don’t know where to begin.” He said “Start with what bothers you the most. Or even what excites you the most.” I said “My insecurities. My constant feeling of never being good enough.” He said “Well, I can tell you right now, that you are more than good enough. You are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re intelligent, and good looking. There’s no reason for you to be insecure.” I smiled at him and began to tear up a little. Then he said "Now what excites you the most?" I said "Adventure." He said "What do you consider adventurous?" I said "Rollercoasters, traveling, or pretty much anything that comes with a good story." He just smiled really big at me and said "You're the kind of girl to create good times and a story no matter what the scenario is." I thought to myself that he knows me a lot better than I know me. It felt great to be honest. I continued with more things that I like because I'm so secure with my vulnerabilities and what I am on the inside. I never really talk about these things nor do I really ever have anyone as an outlet to express what I like anyway. I said "I like to read, write, draw, paint, and make shit." He said "So you love art?" I said "More than anything. You can express whatever you want without having to talk about it. Or in art such as writing, you can make up aything, and live in a different world for awhile. Or be a completely different person." He said "I knew you were artsy. You just have that vibe. That old-soul kind of vibe. It's easy to see that you see the world in a different perspective. It's even easier to see that the world is your biggest enemy. Your way of thinking, is other-worldly. It expands far beyond this tiny little snow globe of a planet. You're a down to Mars kind of girl." I never realized he noticed me enough to even have that description of me. I started tearing up but in a joyous way. It felt great knowing that someone can see that side of me. I rested my head down on his chest and held me. As I closed my eyes and began drifting to sleep I began to settle my focus on nothing but his heart beat. Hearing it flutter nervously made me so happy and content with the moment. After nearly a couple hours, we are jolted awake by a phone call. Leon said “It’s Vince.” I didn’t know if that was like a warning to be quiet or just a heads up of who was calling, but I stayed quiet anyway. Besides if Vince was worried about me, he’d call me, not Leon, especially considering he’s unaware just how much time we actually do spend together. So I knew there was nothing to panic about. Leon was quiet pretty much throughout the entire course of the phone call, and I can hear Vince talking, he sounded frustrated but not angry. Leon ends the conversation with a heavy sigh and says “I’ll be right there.” I said “What was all that about?” He said “Some asshole at the garage is trying to pick a fight with Vince over one of the cars him and I worked on. He’s complaining about the brakes which I worked on by myself. I know damn well there isn’t a thing wrong with them, nobody has ever came back with complaints. He’s just trying to make some money by getting a bullshit refund, and Vince knows that’s what he’s trying to do. I mean we worked on the car a month ago, if there was truly something wrong with the brakes he would've came back a long time ago. But now I have to go save the day so Vince doesn’t end up in jail….. Again.” I said “Can I come?” He said “Duh, I wouldn’t leave you at this house alone anyway. I don’t trust or even like my roommates, and I especially don’t like the way they look at you. I can’t wait to move back in with you guys after that room is finished.” I was honestly totally unaware his roommates ever even stared at me. I used to be so observant with the world around me, and ever since Leon and I have become closer, the only thing my world consists of is him. I don’t know what love is but I can tell you that seeing the sparkle in his eyes, and the brightness of his smile makes my heart melt. The way he talks to me and protects me and shows an interest in me and what I’m thinking, and how everything about him from the way he thinks, the way he perceives the world, the way he looks at me, how it makes me feel like the world could end today and I’d be absolutely content knowing that I would be by his side when it did. If that’s not love then I don’t think I’ll ever know love. Once we arrive to the garage, Leon immediately walks over to the asshole customer. Vince notices that I step out of Leon’s car and he hesitantly walks over to me as if he was conflicted about whether he should confront me or stay by Leon’s side just in case anything gets ugly between him and the customer. However, he walks over to me anyway and he said “What were you doing with Leon?” I said “Tutoring.” He said “Oh really? Your teacher called yesterday and said you’re doing excellent and making A’s in the class now.” I said in a condenscending tone “Yeah, thanks to Leon.” Vince gave me this look as if he knew there was way more to this story than what was being said, but the look also expressed that he didn’t want to believe that there was and that he needed proof to make such accusations. So he said “You hungry?” I said “Yeah, why?” He said “What do you mean why? I’m obviously going to feed you, that’s why.” I said “Where we going? That's what I was getting at.” He said “I’m grilling when we get home.” Vince starts to walk away then turns back around and says “Can you stick around here for a bit? I’ll drive you home.” I was hesitant to answer but obviously couldn’t say no nor did I really even want to because I do love spending time with my brother, but I also loved spending time with Leon. Obviously two very different vibes, and I was really feeling Leon’s vibes more. I also figured that Vince just wants me to stick around so he can poke at this Leon thing and try to get more answers from me. After Leon deals with the customer the customer walks into the front of the shop where me and Vince are now, and starts yelling and says “I’m never coming here again! Go fuck yourself.” Then proceeds to storm off outside and Vince grabs the baseball bat under the counter and Leon tries to stop Vince but once Vince makes up his mind there’s no changing it, no matter who you are. Vince walks up to the guys car and smashes the window then opens the door and drags the guy out, slams him on the ground, and nearly hit him too, but Leon tackled Vince. With Leon still holding him back, Vince yells “Good, stay the fuck away from here you fat fuck! And you’re not getting a refund.” The fat guy said “I’m calling the fucking cops.” Vince said “Fantastic, tell them about the coke inside your fucking car as well.” The fat guy puts his phone down and gets back in his car and speeds off. I guess his cocaine was more important that rip-off scam to get money. Leon shoves Vince and said “What the fuck is your problem?” Vince said “I have no problems now. Fat guy's gone.” We all walk back into the shop and Leon says “Come on Lacey.” Vince immediately says “She’s closing the shop with me.” Leon looks at me and back at him and said “Oh, alright….” Then he looks at me smiles a bit and walks off. I’m not too worried about it, because I’ll see him tonight at dinner when we get home. Now the shop is empty, and it’s just me and Vince. He asks “Are you mad at me?” I give him this very puzzled look and said “No….. Why the hell would I be mad at you?” He said “I don’t know, you just don’t talk to me anymore.” I said “You’re the one who doesn’t talk to me anymore. You used to tell me stories all the time about stuff that never really made sense until now, but that storytime would be the highlight of my day. I couldn’t wait for you to come home and tell me those stories.” He laughed and said “Yeah….. Things are just…. Different now.” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Back in the day when we would race it wasn’t even to make a living or a profit. It was just for fun. We’d even race each other. When Dom and I were around fifteen years old, we put together this group, and even Letty was apart of it, and we’d just race for the fuck of it. Some people go to the clubs on Friday nights, but we’d go racing. It was just our thing. But things got more complicated than that after we ran into Johny Tran for the very first time when I was like twenty or so. I didn’t even know there was such thing as a "race territory,” and of course Dom being who he is, that’s where it all began. Racing to make a profit, to keep territory, and remain the powerball of the streets instead of racing just because it was fun. Things got even more out of hand shortly after that when Dom’s dad died. Dom created Race Wars, and the first monthly illegal street race was born three weeks later. Then a week after that first street race Dom went to prison for two years, which left me in charge of our newly built empire. Things got really ugly really fast. I had to do a lot of shit that still haunts me, but I had to do it.“ I just sit quietly waiting for more. Vince says "Do you know why I’m telling you all of this?” I said “No, not really, but I don’t mind.” He laughed a little bit and said “Yeah, I know you don’t, but the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want you to have the opprotunities I didn’t even try to seek when I was your age. I see everything in you that I never had. You have potentional, for both worlds honestly, my world, and the real world. I never really realized how much of a fuck up I was until even the teachers gave up on me. Every day I’d skip class. When I did show up to class it was against my own will because I got caught skipping, but I wouldn’t do any work. I just wanted to sleep. When the teacher wouldn’t let me sleep I’d ask for a bathroom pass and walk around the halls with the pass in my hand for like thirty minutes and walk back into class when there was like fifteen minutes left.” He laughed and continued with “Your principal really hated me. I guess that’s why he has it out for you too. It got to the point where the teachers wouldn’t even hand me an assignment, because they knew it would just be a waste of paper and when I would ask to go to the bathroom they’d tell me to just grab my stuff and go, because they knew exactly what I was going to do.” He paused for a moment and continued with “You’re super smart, I want you to be successful, the legal way. I’m not even asking you to be a doctor or a lawyer, I just want you to have a better life. However, seeing how this life is all you know considering you were raised in it, I wouldn’t expect you to just turn your back on it. You have a loyalty mentality like me. I just want you to have at least the opprotunity to have something better. To have that opprotunity to make a choice. I didn't have that choice. It was this life or nothing. It’s too late for me, but it’s not too late for you. I want to see you be the first Scaletta to walk across that stage and receive a high school diploma. I left a shitty reputation behind in that school, and they’re expecting you to do the same but I want you to prove those fuckers wrong.” I asked him what he did in school when he would skip and the first thing he said changed the subject entirely and it was “I smoked weed on the same corner where you sell it.” Then he shot me this look I was shocked, and he said “Yeah, I know what you’re doing. I have connections too.” He stood up and said “I’m not upset with you, but I just want you to know selling weed and simply smoking it are two very different things, and two very different charges to catch. I want you to be careful, because if I don’t even go to your school nor talk to the high school kids you sell it too, and still can find out what you’re doing so can they.” Then he walked over to me and kissed my on the top of my head and said “Lets go home, I’m starving.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

As we got home Mia had already made dinner because “we were taking too long.” So Vince and I sat down to plates that were already made. Later after dinner I was sitting on the back porch reflecting on the heart to heart Vince and I just had. It was the first one in ages. Leon shortly joins me on the back porch knowing that’s where I like to sit after dinner. He came up and sat next to me on the steps and said “So what did you and Vince do after I left? You guys took awhile.” I said “We had a heart to heart kind of moment. I think there’s been a lot on his mind lately. He talked about a lot of stuff. Mostly just how he wants me to have a better life than him and how he doesn’t exactly want me to be apart of the street racing world. He admitted on the way home that’s one of the reasons he was so hesistant about everything – teaching me to drive, and telling me about what it is you guys do. He had to tell me after I pretty much found out on my own. He knew he couldn’t keep it from me anymore.” Leon just sighed and said “Damn. That’s good though. You guys need more heart to hearts.” I asked “Why do you say that?” He said “Lacey, you’re literally the only reason Vince wakes up in the morning. He used to be so careless until one night he got jumped really badly. Didn’t come home for weeks because he didn’t want you to see him that way. He had to go to the hospital and everything. Ever since then he’s taken a lot more precautions than he normally would, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true. It’s because he doesn’t want to put you through…. Losing him. Not like that. I honestly truly believe if it weren’t for you, Vince wouldn’t be here anymore. He’s very depressed, he just hides it from you, and covers it up with anger.” My heart sank to the floor after Leon told me this, I literally never knew any of this, and Vince carries both of our burdens, he’s supposed to be the strong Scaletta. I couldn’t hold back the tears this time and I let them all out. Leon pulled me in and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped both his arms around me and kissed my head which is something he seem to be doing a lot lately, but I don’t mind and he said “Everything’s going to be okay though. I promise.” The way he made promises to me and the way he always made them sound so reassuring was alluring. I still was sobbing pretty badly and Leon grabbed my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs and smiled and said “I didn’t mean to upset you, Lacey. I’m really sorry.” Then he kissed me on the nose. I was in a whirlwind of emotions at this point, and honestly was not thinking at all, and I leaned in and kissed Leon… On the lips. It lasted a lot longer than I thought it would and some tongue even slipped from both of us. My whole body was tingling, but then abruptly Leon leans back and slowly licks his lips and says “I’m sorry Lacey, but….” I cut him off because I didn’t even want to finish hearing what he had to say, now I was embarrassed. I said “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Then I got up and ran off to my bedroom. I started balling my eyes out, because of what Leon told me and now because I ruined everything between Him and I. Should’ve just let him make the first move, but in all honesty it probably would’ve never happened. I was so blinded by my feelings that I didn’t think of this in terms of reality. I’m sixteen, he’s twenty. He would’ve never made the first move. I should’ve known he’d push away if I did. I literally just want to crawl in bed and stay here for the rest of my life.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

Two weeks go by and Leon and I haven’t really talked to one another besides the casual smile when we walk pass each other. He would smile first attempting to initiate that he isn't mad at me or whatever, but I'm mad at myself, and I figured he only did it to make feel better about the humiliation I brought upon myself. Today, I thought I was alone in the house, but of course Leon was the only other person there. We awkwardly met in the kitchen, he was already in there making food, so I tried to turn away as quickly as possible hoping he didn’t notice my attempt to abruptly exist. However, as I was turning around he said “Lacey!” I turned back around and didn’t say anything and just looked at him all while attempting to hide the hurt I felt inside. He said “You know you don’t have to avoid me..?” I said “I fucked up, and embarassed the hell out of myself, and I can’t take that back. What do you expect?” He said “You didn’t even embarrass yourself.” I said “I obviously did, just save it.” He got a little bit more of a stricter tone and said “You didn’t.” We both paused for a breif moment and he walked closer to me and said in a more quiet tone “I liked the kiss.” I just looked up at him with disbelief to what he just said, because here I am thinking that I totally ruined everything, and that he won’t even want to talk to me anymore. Before I could even say anything though Leon continued and said “It’s just that…. You’re Vince’s little sister….. And you’re….. Sixteen.”  I said “Who cares how old I am? You’re only twenty. That’s a four year difference, it’s not even a big deal. It’s not like you’re fifty-something.” Leon’s facial expression indicated that he agreed with me, and that he understands where I am coming from but his words contradict his expression as he says “But the state of California law says–” I cut him off and said in a very condenscending, sarcastic tone “Ohhhhhhhh, so we follow the law now?” Then Leon admitted “Lacey, I don’t give a shit about the law to be honest, and I know that four years isn’t a big deal… It’s just…” I said “It’s just what then? You care about what people are going to say?” He said “No, but yes. I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea. They don’t know me or you, but they won’t care. They’ll just assume that I’m some pervert who took advantage of you.” I said “But you didn’t take–” He cut me off this time and said “I know I didn’t take advantage of you. You’re the one who kissed me, but like I said nobody is going to care, because in society’s eyes even four years is a "big fucking deal” considering you’re not eighteen.“ I can't even argue and have to agree, because it’s true. So many people would look down on us simply because of the slight age difference. I said "I know…. It’s fucking stupid though. If I was eighteen and you were fourty-two nobody would care, but god forbid you’re literally twenty and I’m sixteen……” Leon just rested his hand on my shoulder because he knew I was getting flustered and frustrated. He said “I don’t care about people and their opinions, but at the same time, I don’t want to be deemed as a pedophile, but also you’re Vince’s little sister.” I said “I hate being titled as Vince’s little sister. I am my own person, and I do not live in his fucking shadow. I make my own decisions, and I’ve paved my own path.” He said “Of course, Lacey. I know that. I meant that Vince would literallly fucking kill me becuase of the fact that you are his little sister.” I said “Well, who said we have to tell anybody?” He just looked up at me with that same facial expression as before signaling that he agrees but as if he can’t agree. He said “Lacey, I just think we should wait on it…” I said “For how long?” He said “Until…… You’re 18….” I just said “Yeah, great. So am I just supposed to sit back and watch girls throw themselves at you for two years? Do you really think after that I’ll feel the same in two years, as if all the whoring around you’re going to do just disappears because I turn eighteen and we can live "happily ever after?”“ I began to storm off but he grabbed my arm and said "But, we don’t have to act like strangers Lacey.” I said “What do you expect Leon? I can’t change the way I feel about you, and quite frankly I don’t want to. We can’t just pretend the kiss and this conversation didn’t happen.” He said “I’m not asking you to forget it happen, and quite frankly, I don’t want to forget it either. I like you, I really do, but it’s a huge risk liking you, Lacey. Going to jail for boosting cars, or even street racing isn’t nearly as bad as getting locked up and portrayed as this evil human being and registering as a "sex offender.” You got to understand where I am coming from, Lacey.” He continued with, “We just can’t be in a relationship right now, but we don’t have to act like strangers. I still want to be there for you, like I was. I don’t want to lose the connection we had.” I said “Me either but it's my fault that we did….” He lifted my chin to advert my eyes to his and he said “You didn't ruin anything, Lacey. So can we hug it out?” I just smiled and gave him a giant squeeze to end the conversation. As days went by, things are still definitely awkward, but I’m just more content at the fact that at least he doesn’t hate me for it and to my surprise he even admitted to liking me too. Of course I don’t want anything bad to happen to Leon if we were to get caught, but I also don’t want to wait two more years either. I'm being a little selfish, but I can't help the way that I feel. I’m always just really frightened at the thought that my feelings for him won’t be the same in two years time, even more terrified thinking that he'll end up falling in love with an older girl with more experience in those two years. I don’t want to lose this feeling ever, but I have to prep myself for that possibility, and that's what's hurting the most. I’ve gotten back into things I was doing before Leon and I began hanging out all the time. It helped distract my mind from it usually even though most of time the thought of him crept it’s way into whatever I was working on, whether it was painting, drawing, or writing. The thought of what him and I could be somehow still managed to express itself in my art, but sometimes I wouldn’t even realize it. I would literally be on auto-piolet and intuned to the art itself without even realizing I interpreted Leon in some form into the art until afterwards. I started trying different forms of art such as crochet. I made myself some cute crocheted halter tops and bikinis, and I even made bracelets and jewlery with other materials. Still didn’t help me completely distract myself from him. I slowly and cautiously opened my brother’s bedroom door and went at ease after I found out he wasn’t in there. I don’t really know what I was doing in there but I started looking through the night stand drawer, and saw a bunch of old pictures and other miscellaneous things including some weed and a bowl for smoking weed. Then my attention went elsewhere and instantly I got an idea when my eyes focused on his guitar. He used to try to teach me how to play when I was younger and when he wasn’t so busy all the time. I still remember a few things, but I decided to pick it up and wing it. I sat back down on the bed and stroked the strings a little bit. Just the vibration and soft, unintelligent melody was so soothing. However to my surprise Vince walks in the room, we both shocked each other. I quickly put the guitar back down in the corner and he said “You don’t have to be a sneak about it. Whenever you want to try it out you can.” I laughed and said “I suck though.” He laughed and said “Not true. Everyone starts somewhere. I wasn’t born a good guitarist, I became one.” He then walked over to the guitar, picked it up and said “Here. You can have it. It’s yours now.” I said “You don’t have to do that.” He said “Lacey, it’s a gift. Just take it. Besides, I like the electric guitar better anyway.” I said “Thank you, Vince.” He said “No problem. You better write some bangers though.” Then we both laughed.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

I stayed late at school on a Friday night simply because my after school activites consisted of hanging out with Leon, and since I can’t really do that anymore I seriously looked for every excuse, and club, or extracurricular activity to participate in just to avoid going home, and being there alone with him. It’s not that I was scared of him or anything like that, even the awkward tension didn’t seem to quite be there anymore. I just knew that if I stayed around him I put myself and him in a bad position. We both are extremely infatuated with each other, and for his sake of not being deemed as a pervert sex offender, we have to refrain from putting each other in those situations where another heat of the moment kiss could take place and that could inevitabley push things further down the road, if you catch my drift. I participated in the art show tonight, I even showcased some of my artwork. I showcased them anonymously though, I’m not really great with constructive criticism, so if there were critics in the crowd who didn’t like my work, at least they wouldn’t know the face of the artist and I didn’t necessarily have to hear about it. Quinn, who I met in the art department who I helped with after school lighting and sound checks for theater, came up to me and said “I know that’s your work over there submitted “anonymously..” I said “Cool.” He asked “Why on earth would you do that? They’re extremely good, and you should hear what people are saying about them.” I said “That’s exactly the reason I anonymously submitted them, Quinn. I didn’t want to hear what people had to say about them.” He said “Even if they were extremely nice things?” I said “Well, those wouldn’t be so bad to hear, but it’s the negative ones I’m afraid of, and the bad always comes with the good. If you want the good, you have to expect the bad, but if you don’t want the bad at all, you have to sacrifice the good.” Quinn laughed and stated “Sometimes I feel like your mind drifts off and you make vague analogies that fit the topic at hand but also issues in your life you don’t explicitly bring up.” I said “You caught me. I have a knack for that.” I said it in a sarcastic tone to hopefully direct the conversation to a new topic, but he was shockingly right about my analogies. Didn’t realize I did them that often, nor did I realize Quinn and I had that many conversations for him to notice such a thing. Maybe he was just a great observer like me. After the artshow I stayed and helped clean up the gym, the sun has completely set by now and I was a little uneasy about walking home through the horrible neighborhoods, that never used to seem that bad, but now I know their stories. I also got eerie flashbacks from the Jackie incident, and how the last time I was in the streets by myself at nighttime, I was in a dazed drug-induced trance covered in blood. By the way, Jackie has still never been found, which doesn’t make this eerie feeling any better. Anyways, that night I ran to Leon as a safety net but now I’m too afraid to even call him to ask him for a ride home. Besides it’s Friday night, so he’s probably fighting right now anyway. Yes – fighting. Leon has always had a passion for mixed martial arts and UFC. His passion landed him an “under the table” job at a sketchy bar that made bets on the fighters. Winner gets the loot. Seriously, nothing my family dabbled in to make quick cash was ever legal. Then again, most outlets for "quick cash" rarely ever are. I started to walk home anyway after I gained the courage. Besides being outside the school with all the lights off seem to set off an even creepier vibe. I’m walking and start to observe my surroundings. I start thinking to myself out loud, “Okay, It’s Friday night, I’m sure a lot of parties are going to be taking place throughout the neighborhoods, expect hollaring, shouting, and a lot of cars. Don’t panic, you can do this, if you can practically Grand Theft Auto Mia’s car, and sneak around a secluded warehouse guarded by armed family members who would shoot first at a shadow in the woods sneaking up on the place, and investigate later, then I can simply walk home from school.” A car pulled up next to me, and as I’m gripping the pocket knife I stole from Vince’s end table drawer, I ease the grip when I realize it was Quinn. He said “I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I noticed you walking home and it’s pretty dark and this is a pretty sketchy area, if you don’t mind, then I won’t mind giving you a ride home.” I said “Actually, yeah, that’ll be good. Thank you.” I didn't particularly trust Quinn, as with anybody really, but I trusted him more the unpredictability of these streets. The car ride between me and Quinn wasn’t awkward, it was just boring to me because we obviously don’t relate on very many levels. However, he is a very nice guy, it’s just that I’m obviously more into perculiar, adverse guys like Leon and Quinn was definitely neither of the two. Quinn was an open book and he talked about everything he liked right off the bat, seriously lacking the enigmas vibe, and he doesn’t seem too adverse as he participates in a lot of school activites so he doesn’t really have time to be bad even if he wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, Quinn is very cute, but his baby face compared to Leon’s scruffy face just didn’t compare. I noticed in his backseat that there was a bucket from Dunkin Donuts and inside the bucket was a rumpled up brown apron, which I assumed was his work apron, and that he worked at Dunkin Donuts, but I wasn’t going to bring it up unless he did. I noticed the bucket said “glazed” on it, and I thought to myself why would he steal and wash out a bucket of donut glaze? He seemed really odd at times. His life story and things that he has interests in seemed rehearsed and he didn't seem too compassionate towards the things he claimed to have passion for. However, as it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen or encountered, I let the thought go. We finally pulled up in front of my house, and Leon, Vince, and Dom are outside drinking beers. As I was hoping for a quick exit Quinn wants to start small talk again and says “So you live in Echo Park? Kind of far from the school.” I said “Yeah, I used to go to the one closer but I had to transfer.” He then asks “Do you know the guys on the porch?” I said “Yeah, one of them is my brother, why?” He said “Just want to make sure you get inside safely.” I laughed and said “That’s not your job, Quinn. Thanks for the ride though.” As I’m walking up the path to the porch I already know they’re going to question me and ask about the guy that dropped me off so I’m already prepared for it. Vince says “Who was that?” I said “Quinn. He helps with a lot of after school activities and drove me home so I didn’t have to walk.” Leon abruptly said “Why didn’t you call me?” Vince gave him this look and then shot it back at me and said “Or me??” I said “I was just going to walk home, he offered.” Vince didn’t seem to care much about Quinn, just my well-being, and after seeing he offered out of “the kindness of his heart” Vince sort of let it go. However, Leon looked enraged and I can obviously assume why he would be, but then again, it was his choice to wait until I turned eighteen. So am I supposed to be lonely and single for two years? Not that I was even interested in Quinn in that manner, but I didn’t care if Leon thought so at the moment. A few hours later, Leon knocks on the doorway of my room, and I look at him and can immediately tell he’s had quite a lot to drink. I said “The door was already opened why’d you knock?” He completely ignored my question and continued to poke the Quinn situation and asked “So who’s Quinn?” I said “I already told you guys, he’s just a kid I met from doing after school stuff. He offered to give me a ride home.” He asked “Do you like him?” I sighed and said “No Leon, I don’t, not like that. Even if I did though, am I not allowed to? You and I are not together, and can’t be for two years. Am I supposed to be the same lonely little girl I've always been and wait on you while you have a fan club of whores who practically jump in your pants every time they see you?” Leon didn’t respond right away and said “I don’t entertain the whore fan club, I don’t want to.” I said “Well that’s good, but Quinn seriously is just a kid who offered me a ride home it’s really not that big of a deal.” I changed the subject and said “So anyways… Do you want me to clean the cuts on your face?” He smirked and said “Sure Dr. Lacey.” As I have Leon’s face gripped in my hand I start to feel the urge to cry, and I seriously do not even know why. Leon asked “Will this shit hurt?” I said “It’ll sting a little bit, but you’ve been drinking so you probably won’t even feel it.” After I clean his face we talk a little bit like we used to. He saw the guitar and started telling me stories about him learning the guitar and I thought to myself “Does he just know how to do everything?” In the middle of the guitar conversation though, he leaped up and ran to my bathroom to puke his brains out. I slowly crept in behind him and started rubbing his back. I do the same thing for Vince and Jesse when they have too much to drink, so it wasn’t even sexual. By this point Leon was slurrig his words, and couldn’t keep his eyes open. I let him lay down in my bed, and I put the bathroom garbage can next to him, he drifted asleep almost instantly, and to keep things from being super awkward in the morning, I borrowed some blankets from the living room couch, and slept on the floor. I know this is pretty much a contradiction from the night I slept in his bed and made him sleep next to me because it was his room, and his bed, I wouldn’t want him sleeping on the floor. However, due to recent events I figured it would just be wiser to sleep on the floor. Also, just in case someone decides they want to walk into my room, and get the wrong idea. Say Vince, for example.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

I wake up to a gentle shake on my shoulder, and I open my eyes to see Leon standing over me. Once I became fully aware of my surroundings upon waking up, Leon sat down next to me on the floor with his back resting against the side of my bed. I sat up and said “You okay?” He said “Yeah. Thanks.” There was a long pause and then he said “So…. What did happen last night? I remember a lot but can’t really remember much after the guitar conversation.” I said “Well, actually the guitar conversation is the last thing we talked about. You threw up and passed out literally in the middle of that conversation.” He said “Damn. Alright. Why didn’t you bring me to my room? Just curious.” I gave him this look and said “Do you think I’m strong enough to carry you princess style down a flight of stairs? You could barely stand and walk over to bed let alone a flight of stairs.” He started to chuckle and said “Thanks for taking care of me. You didn’t have to.” I said “I didn’t really have a choice, but I didn’t mind either way. Besides, there have been times where you’ve helped my drunk ass before.” He laughed and said “Well, that’s different. I’m a man.” I said “So what? Man or woman, tall or short, fat or skinny, if you drink alcohol you’re going to get drunk, and if you drink enough, you’ll get super wasted. It's what's supposed to happen and it happens to everybody.” I changed the topic and asked “So Leon, did you win the fight last night?” He said “Of course I did. Did you expect any less?” Then he grinned really hard. He said “Oh by the way, there’s going to be a party here tonight after the race.” I said “Am I allowed to come to the race?” He said “That’s up to Vince, not me. If it were up to me then yeah, of course you could.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him. Thirty minutes later I saw Vince and I started a casual conversation with him. I’m either really horrible at this or Vince is really good at this, he knew right away I wanted something. He said “What is it Lacey?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “You’re either about to ask me for money, or something else, but you’re going to ask for something, I can tell..” I said “Well damn, alright, but I want to know…. If… I…..” He said “Quit stalling. Just spit it out.” I said “Can I go to the race tonight?” He said “No, not tonight. I’m actually in the race tonight instead of Dom.” I said “So, what’s that mean?” He said “I just… I don’t want you in that environment unless I’m watching you.” I said “So you don’t trust Leon, Dom, Letty, or Jesse?” He said “I never said that. However, there is going to be an after party at the house tonight. You’re more than welcome to hang out with the party, I might let you even drink or smoke.” I said “I smoke anyways.” He looks up at me and said “Oh yeah, I forgot.” I said “Really?” He said “Nah, I know you smoke and drink behind my back. Why wouldn’t you? I’d do the same shit.” I said “So you don’t care about drinking or smoking, but I can’t come watch a race?” He said “Lacey, it’s more than that, half the street racing world in the city shows up to these things. Anything could happen in seconds. I just don’t want you to be there.” I said “Will I ever get to go to one?” “Haven’t you already?” He stated referring to the night I snuck behind his back with Chandler and I said “You know what I mean.” He sighed and said “Yeah. One day.” Vince seemed a lot more frustrated than his usual days. Yes, even a casual Vince was frustrated, but today seemed a bit more than normal. Dom came out the back door, and called to get Vince’s attention and cocked his head. Vince looked back at me and said “Alright kiddo, I got to go. I’ll see you tonight.” Then he grabbed the top of my head and playfully shook it a little bit. He’s been doing that since I was little, that was his way of affection. He’s not the hugs and kisses kind of guy, Vince barely pats people on the shoulder. I started to head back to my room and realized the whole house had left. I figured this was the perfect time to walk around the house in my underwear and listen to loud music, and ya know, do shit you can’t normally do in a house with six other people. After two hours go by and still nobody is home I’ve grown bored as hell. I laid on my bed and rolled over to my back. I started thinking about all kinds of random shit, like people normally do when they’re laying down all by themselves. Then I started thinking about Leon. I thought about him to the point where I inevitabley turned myself on. Then I realized that I’m all alone, I can be as loud as I want and not have the paranoia of someone walking in on me. I sat up and took my shirt off and laid back down. I started to rub my body softly creating goose bumps and making my nipples hard. I closed my eyes and slowly let my hand ease it’s way underneath my panty line. I was instantly wet, I don’t do this often, because I hardley ever get chances like this. I slowly started rubbing my clit and lubricating my fingers. I gradually squeezed two of my fingers inside of me, and back and fourth they went, and faster and faster they got. It was pretty quick, but it felt so good. I started squirting and I knew that I was cumming. I’m not that inexperienced, I know what my body can do. It's the opposite sex and their genitals that I'm inexperienced with. After I finished, I relaxed and listened to my rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. Then I got up and realized that I was so eager to get a quick fix in that I didn’t even lay a towel down. I rolled my eyes because now I had to wash my sheets. Sometimes, I wish I was a guy. Stuff like this would be much easier. I can’t even pleasure myself without having to do chores. I hopped in the shower real quick to wash myself off, then I wrapped a towel around me, grabbed my sheets and headed downstairs to the laundry room which was in a nook room behind the kitchen. As I turned the washer on I heard the back door close and my heart sank. I wasn’t even doing anything anymore, but me washing my sheets in a towel just looks suspicious, and I don’t really want the awkward tension of someone even suspecting that I just got done masturbating. I turn the corner and saw that it was Mia with a bunch of grocery bags. She said “Hey Lacey, what’s up?” I said “Just got out of the shower. Did some laundry. I don’t know. Had a pretty boring day. Are all these groceries for the party tonight?” I tried to abruptly change the topic and get the attention off of me and it worked, she looked up really fast and said “No. What party?” I said “Leon and Vince both said they’re having an after party tonight after the race.” Mia rolled her eyes and said “Ugh, that’s great.” I said “We have parties all the time.” She said “I just wish I got informed. I was going to cook dinner tonight for everyone, but I’m not making food for other people to eat it, fuck that. We’ll just wait 'til tomorrow.” Mia placed both hands on the counter and as I begin walking away she said “So Lacey…” I turned around expecting her to just continue and she laughed and said “So, how’s your love life?” I said “What?” She laughed some more and said “When you used to help me out at the cafe everyday you told me you had a crush on some guy who you said didn’t even know you existed.” I said “Ahhhh, yeah. I remember that.” I actually totally forgot about that, and evidently I was referring to Leon, and at that time I would’ve never imagined him and I would be as close as we are now nor did I ever expect him to develop any sort of feelings for me, so I literally thought the conversation was harmless and that I wouldn’t ever have to bring it up again. Mia said “So does he know you exist now?” I laughed and said “More than you know.” She said “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said “I kind of told him how I felt but he didn’t feel the same way back.” Mia said “I’m sorry. There’s plenty of guys out there Lacey, don’t worry about it.” I only said what I said to get Mia to end the conversation, which she did, but I wasn’t expecting her to say it like that. I don’t want to think about other guys, I only want to think about Leon, and I sort of lied, because Leon does like me back. I couldn’t tell her the complication was our age difference. That would’ve ended very badly and she probably would’ve told Vince about my secret crush and raise a ton of suspicion about who it was and since Leon and I have been undoubetly hanging out, I think Vince would figure it out immediately. I just smirked at her and said “Yeah, I guess.” Then walked away.

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As it gets closer and closer to the party time I start getting ready. I put on a ton of makeup on and a sexy, but classy tube top and some leggings with boots. I want to look older than sixteen tonight. Not for slutty reasons, obviously because I have my eye on only one man, and I’ve only technically been with one guy before, but because I don’t want people to assume I’m sixteen. I for once just want to be treated like an adult. Also, maybe nobody will look at me weird if I’m walking around drinking. After I’m done getting ready I go outside and start rolling blunts for me throughout the night. Vince walks up from the back porch for whatever reason, and I didn’t even hear him pull up. To be honest it scared me and made me jump, causing me to drop four blunts I’ve already rolled. Vince picks them up and says “One of them is mine since I’m the coolest brother in the world.” I said “Oh yeah?” He said “Am I not?” Then laughed and walked away. I’m guessing by his extremely good mood, that he won the race tonight so I didn’t even have to ask. Literally minutes later a bunch of random people show up meaning the party has officially begun. It’s weird because as much as I want to fit into this lifestyle, I already wish people would leave my house. This isn’t even the first big party we’ve thrown here, people on the whole block know us as the loud obnoxious party house. They don’t call the cops on us anymore though. I feel really socially awkward, and kind of just want to sit in my room the whole time, but I told myself I didn’t do all this makeup for no reason. I step outside and smoke the first blunt, I figured this would help me get into the laid back party mood. Jesse plops down next to me on the porch, it’s an odd thing because it’s usually Leon who sits down next to me on the porch. Jesse said “Hey Lacey. Finally apart of the big dogs, huh?” I laughed and said “Haven’t I technically always been?” He said “Well, with a brother like Vince I couldn’t disagree.” I pass him the blunt and he took it and said “Aye, thanks.” It was cool chilling with Jesse. He’s actually the first person I “bought” weed from. I knew I could trust him because literally nobody found out about it, and I thought it was cool since he gave it to me for free and explained to me that as long as I’m safe with it and whatnot he wouldn’t mind smoking me out and giving me weed. He said that it would always be for free because we’re family. Plus, I don’t think Jesse really wanted to take my allowance money from the cafe anyway. The cafe money was really just shared family money that he technicallyy already had in his pockets anyway. Jesse is really chill, and has a hippie flower child type of stoner vibe. It’s honestly the best kind of stoner to surround yourself with. Plus, it’s been awhile since Jesse and I have smoked together or even had a deep conversation together. I broke the silence by asking “So, was the race eventful?” He chuckled and said “Same ol’ same ol’.” I asked “What’s so special about them?” He said “There really isn’t a general specialty to them. It’s all how you perceive it. I know they’re special to Dom because he pratically invented the street racing world here and because he grew up around it with his dad and whatnot. They’re special to Vince because it clears his mind. They’re special to me because it’s cool seeing the cars I worked on win. I’m not sure why they’re special to Leon or Letty, but it is what it is.” There was a bit of a pause and Jesse said “I can see why you’re so eager to get in on the races though. It’s funny because I remember Vince telling me that when he was back in high school he was really eager too.” I just smiled. Jesse then said “Do you want a beer? I won’t tell Vince.” I smiled harder and said “Sure, but Vince already offered me one for tonight anyway.” He said “Ahhhh, Lacey is growing up.” Then we walked into the kitchen and he handed me a Corona. He seemed a bit surprised to see me get the top off on my own without any effort. He laughed and said “Ahhhhh, someone’s done this before.” I playfully laughed and said “Shhhh.” A few minutes later Mia, Dom and Vince walk into the kitchen and Mia practically berated me like she was my mother and said “Lacey Maree is that a beer in your hand!? What are you doing?” Dom laughed and said “Relax Mia, should I remind you of how old you were when you had your first? She’s fine let her drink a lil’. Besides she’s in the safety of her own home. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Vince condenscendingly added on and said “Yeah, I already signed the permission slip.” Then he laughed and did the playful head shake thing again. I’m starting to feel relaxed now and even more so that I finally feel like I’m apart of the whole crew now, but in the back of my mind I’m starting to wonder more and more where Leon is and what he’s doing. I walk into the living room and instantly notice Leon sitting down in the chair in the living room with a blonde, trampy looking skank on his lap. I recognized her as one of his ex-girlfriends named Monica, who Vince has also had his fair share of time with. She’s a homie hopping whore. Leon didn’t look too interested which was odd, but it’s still disrespectful. He knows I’m here and could see the shit as easily as I just did. He knows I like him and he said he liked me too just the other day and then does this!? It’s not even just the fact that there’s a skank on his lap. If we have to wait two years, I expected him to have his fun with other girls, and if the opprotuity arose for me to do the same with a guy, I’d probably take it. It’s the fact that this is being done right in front of me. In my house in my living room. I stood there staring for God knows how long then Leon makes eye contact with me. He had to do a double take and then called out "Lacey!” I saw him practically push the girl to the floor and start coming my direction, but I don’t even care for his explanation or excuses at the moment. I ran through the crowd of people as fast as I could so he couldn’t get to me. There was so many people in the house you have people practically breathing down your neck, literally. I noticed that I couldn’t see him at all anymore through all the strange faces. I grabbed a bottle of Patron off of the kitchen island and walked outside where the party didn’t seem too heavy. There were quite a few people out here but not nearly as many as there were inside. I would sit on the hammock but a random couple is laying in it which makes me want to burn it and buy a new one. About an hour, I believe, passes and I realized that I may’ve had way too much to drink plus the marijuana wasn’t helping. I suddenly felt the urge that I had to throw up so I ran to the door, and fought my way through the blurry crowd of people and went into the downstairs bathroom. I don't really know why I didn't just puke in the grass outside. I blacked out for the first time in my life because I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t even remember throwing up. I just woke up to Leon standing over me. I saw him grab the bottle of Patron from my hands and place it on the counter and lifted me up and carried me to my room. Who knows how long I was laying on that bathroom floor. The next afternoon I wake up to two gatorades on my nightstand and a note from Leon saying You probably need these and call me when you’re awake. I said to myself Oh so I’m supposed to forgive you because you bought me gatorade? I didn’t want to call him. I didn’t want to talk to him. Okay, who am I kidding? Of course I wanted to talk to him. I loved talking to him. Plus, I do want to hear his explanation now that I’m sober and not so heated anymore. I texted him instead of calling him though to make it seem as if I didn’t care that much. A couple minutes went by and then he’s walking into my room. I didn’t sit up or even pretend to care that he was there. He said “I want to explain myself.” I chuckled and said “Why?” He said “Because I owe it to you.” I said “You don’t owe me shit.” He said “Well after last night, I should explain.” I said “What about last night?” I was trying to throw the impression that I don’t remember anything even though I remember everything that set me off distinctively. He said “The girl… Sitting on my lap.” I said “Oh yeah.” He said “You’re never going to let it go, are you?” At this point I figured it was silly to lie to myself and pretend like it didn’t bother me and lie to him and pretend like I don’t remember. I only had one beer at that point, of course I remembered. It was the reason I decided to down a bottle of Patron and black out. I sat up and sighed and said “Leon, I’m not holding on to anything, and I’m not mad. How can I be mad if you’re not my boyfriend? There’s nothing I can do about some bimbo on your lap. It was just the fact that it happened in our fucking living room, in our fucking house just a couple of days after you confessed you had the same feelings I do. How am I supposed to react? It did hurt a little.” He said “I don’t blame you for being pissed off and salty about it at all. It’s just that Vince "hooked” her up with me. If I declined he would’ve been even more suspicious and think something was really up between me and you.“ I was confused at him saying this and I said "Wait what?” He said “Vince thinks there’s something going on between us.” I said “He actually said that?” Leon said “Not directly or in so many words but he’s been asking a lot of questions implying that he suspects it. Questions such as "So you and Lacey have been spending a lot of time together, huh?" Vince is a pretty straight foraward guy so when he asks questions like that it’s because he’s trying to get to the bottom of something. Him hooking me up with Monica was a test.” I asked “Did you really hook up with her?” He said “No! I would never hook up with her again. She’s just a thirsty slut. I wouldn’t lie to you Lacey, I never have and I never will. I won’t start now. I did however tell Vince that we did to get him off my back. If he thinks I actually hooked up with her he won’t be so suspcious about me and you anymore.” I said “True. Plus if he really thought we were dating or something he would’ve already killed you for cheating on me.” We both started laughing, but my laugh quickly faded away and I said "Even if he was still suspicious it's not like it truly matters anyway, since we really aren't together." He said “Listen, I am really, really sorry about the whole thing. I know there’s no way I can take it back and make you unsee what you saw, but I just felt like I had to explain that it truly wasn’t what it looked like. She got super drunk, and I sent her home with her friends. That’s literally the end of it.” I said “I believe you. I just…. Don’t let it happen again. Even though we’re not together I don’t want to see that shit.” He said in a tone as if he was admitting something and said “Yeah, me either,” and looked up at me. He was most likely referring to Quinn. Leon and I actually sat in my room for awhile and started to talk like we used to. We actually shared some good laughs. As he was walking out I said “Hey Leon, do you want to come to this stupid play at school tonight? I’m going to be in it and the rest of the family is coming.” He said “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I just smiled really big. He always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He added “I didn’t strike you as the kind of person to really be into that sorta thing though. You're artsy, but you in a play? I just don't see it.” I said “I’m not really. I kind of got pestered into doing it and couldn’t really say no.” He laughed and said “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great regardless.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:

Dear Diary, I haven’t written in you in such a long time because I haven’t needed to. Leon became my real life diary with actual feedback. It was amazing. It was everything I could ever ask for. However, after I confessed to him how I felt we sort of drifted apart from each other. The bond we had for awhile seemed to fade away. However though, he admitted to feeling the same way about me. Our age difference was the only problem, well and my brother. So I guess I’m back to resorting to you with my problems. I’m just worried that in two years time we won’t feel the same way we do now. I really wish I could go back to the days when I barely knew anything about him. I wish I could be that fifteen year old girl again with just a little crush. Things were way more simple back then. I miss the feeling I would get when he walked by, and I don’t feel that anymore. Then again, him and I never really talked back then at all so I did gain a lot. I thought being sixteen was going to change things for me. I thought the family would start respecting me and treat me more like an adult, and it seemingly worked out that way for awhile, until after I told Leon how I felt and it seemed as if I back tracked to being fifteen again. I sometimes wish I could go even further back to when I was a little girl. When Vince would give me underdogs on the swing set, when he’d read me stories to bed, and when being on top of the world was simply sitting on his shoulders. I daresay that the euphoric feeling I got from sitting on Vince’s shoulders will never again exist within me. I miss family game nights, and family movie nights. Being sixteen sucks. The older I get the more I realize how shitty this life and the world can be, and here I was in such a rush to grow up and be an adult.

There is nothing to really even talk about when it comes to the play. I did farely well I suppose, but I was nervous as hell knowing my whole family was in the crowd watching me. I got so used to them not being around or paying this much attention to me. After the play I ran backstage to change, and then I met my family who all shared their congratulations with me. Vince hugged me and said “You were great, kiddo.” Then out of nowhere Quinn walked over to me and my family. I hated when the friends I had during my school hours felt like they could just walk up to my family. I mostly hated the awkward confrontation and the awkward questions I get from the said friend afterwards. Quinn said “You were great Lacey.” Vince said “And you are..?” Quinn responded with “I’m Quinn. Lacey’s friend. I take it you’re the brother.” Vince said “Yep.” Vince wasn’t actually interested in getting to know him or coverse with him he just said what he did to be a dick and to be intimidating. For once, I didn’t mind it. Mia said “Well, it’s nice to meet you Quinn,” and then she shot me this playful look and I thought to myself shit she thinks this is a guy that I like. Right after thinking that thought I look over to Leon who’s heavily trying to avoid looking this direction for obvious reasons and for those same obvious reasons he has to pretend not to care that Quinn is standing next to me. Dom walks over and hugs me tightly and said “I’m proud of you Lacey, you’ve always been quite the artist of the family, keep that up. Don’t ever lose sight of that no matter what.” I said “Of course not.” Then smiled. He gathered the gang up and they started to head out. I've gotten so used to that. Vince walked over to me and said “Want a ride home?” I said “I fucking wish I could go home. I have to stay here and help clean up.” Vince said “Alright, just call me if you need me, we’re not going too far tonight.” I said “Alright, I will.” As I’m cleaning one of the makeup stations Quinn walks up to me and said “So, you have an interesting family.” I said “Yep.” He said “So, I’m guessing you need a ride home since they all left you?” I snapped back and said “They didn’t leave me. I can call them whenever I want.” He said “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I was just saying that in hopes that you would say you needed a ride so I could surprise you with a cheap date to Burger King.” I began to laugh at his request but then I started to think to myself that Quinn isn’t that ugly. He’s your pretty average preppy looking guy. He wasn’t my type by any means, but still, I give credit to where it’s due. I also thought that if Leon and I can’t be together for two more years, where’s the harm in having some fun? I know damn well he’s going to fuck other girls in the meantime anyway. So why not? I said “You know what… That actually sounds good. Sure.” He said “Wow, really? Alright then, it’s a date.” I want to be the one calling the shots here so I said “Woah, woah, woah. Lets not get ahead of ourselves now. It’s not a date. It’s just two friends eating food together.” He said “Alright, I’ll take it.” After we ate, we got back in the car and I was honestly so disappointed. It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. Well, I haven’t been on very many but I don’t think it could get any worse or anymore boring than this. Quinn and I literally have nothing in common. He didn’t talk about anything I could even pretend to be interested in. We don’t have the same music type either. We couldn’t even talk about something as simple as music. I suppose he’s probably thinking the same thing I am though. I started talking about cars and racing and naming car parts and he had no idea what I was talking about at all. The whole time I was talking and making jokes, I saw this blank expression in Quinn's eyes that contradicted the smile on his lips. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about nor did he care. The whole time I just kept thinking to myself Leon would get it. I decided to talk about something we clearly had in common seeing how that’s how we met– art! Then he confessed that he’s only taking art classes because he joined the school late after his parents were in a car accident and all the cooler elective classes were already filled up. I did notice that he didn’t mention who he was living with now, since he mentioned his parents died in the accident, but I wasn’t going to ask. Kind of rude, in my opinion. Anyways, this entire night was a total drag. Quinn and I pull up to my house, finally, and he said “It doesn’t look like anyone is home. Do you want me to stay here with you?” I was seriously baffled by his question. Does he think I’m some fragile princess who’s never been home alone before, and was this seriously an attempt to get in my room after only one cheap ass dinner gathering at Burger King? I said “No, that won’t be necessary. Goodbye now.” He leaned in and abruptly kissed me and I pushed him off and said “What the fuck is your problem?” I opened the car door and said “Go fuck yourself!” Every part of me that wanted to feel bad for him just didn’t exist. Who the hell does he think he is? What makes him think he can just kiss me after one pathetic date at Burger King? I specifically even told him that it wasn’t even a date it was just two friends eating food together. What a cocky asshole. After being home for nearly thirty minutes I heard a door slam downstairs. I thought it was them coming home, but after I heard no noises or usual chatter I started to get an uneasy feeling. I immediately ran across the hall to my brother’s room and grabbed the baseball bat next to his bed. My mind wandered to who it could be. One of my family’s enemies? Would they hurt me? Wait, that’s a stupid question Lacey, they’d use you as leverage if anything. I thought to myself that this seriously can’t be happening right now. Lacey, you have to be smart about this. I searched my brother’s room high and low, and finally found a gun in the top of his closet. I knew I’d find one in here. I knew I would. I remember everything from watching YouTube how-to videos all about guns and shit. I loaded it and told myself this was obviously my best defense, and so far I’m currently undetected and I have a gun which means I currently have an advantage. I look down the stairs and I don’t hear or see anyone at all. I start to slowly walk down and head towards the kitchen since that’s where the slam came from. Nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary I knew damn well it wasn’t just the wind or my imagination. Every bitch that’s ever said that in movies ends up dying right after they say that shit and let their guard down. All of the sudden someone grabs me from behind but I was able to bite their hand and maneuver my way out of their grip. I dropped the fucking gun and now whoever this intruder is has it because the risk of trying to grab it was too high to be grabbed by them again. I had to be snappy with the decision making. I knew I had to run. So I did. I ran back up to Vince’s room and locked the door. I knew the baseball bat was my only weapon choice, but seeing how they have the gun and I have the bat I have a serious disadvantage now. I would only have one chance with what had to be a sneak attack to really fuck this person up before they shoot me. I started thinking to myself, that I should’ve ran to my room and climbed out the window on to the roof. I’d take my chances jumping off the roof than staying in this house. I couldnt of ran out of the kitchen door, I noticed it was locked. The time it would take to stop to unlock it would be enough time for them to grab me again. So that really wasn’t an option. The person started banging at the door and I was so scared for my life. Just as I was about to say my prayers and acccept the fact that I might die tonight I notice something poking out from Vince’s sheets. He had a shotgun under his mattress. I thought to myself “Jesus Christ, thank you Vince you crazy gun enthusiast bastard.” I loaded it and just as I was about to shoot at the door the person barges in and punches me. I fall to the floor and they try to rip my leggings off. My mouth was bleeding so bad and my face felt numb. I was able to move to the side and punch the person in the face with the little force I could manage. Which was a little effective they bounced back enough for me to get my feet free so I leapt over to the shotgun and didn’t even think twice about pulling the trigger. I shot the person in the chest and watched them fall to their knees then face first to the floor. I flipped them over and began to stab him with Vince’s pocket knife to really make sure the fucker was dead. Pure rage took over and I went overboard on the stabbing and when I came to, I realized what I had just done. I just fucking murdered a human being. A vile human being, who deserved it, but still. I start hyperventilating and drop the pocket knife when I see a pool of blood form and start to stain the carpet. I had blood all over my hands and wrists and clothes. I kneeled back down on the ground next to the person and and started to lift the mask off. My heart sank when I saw that is was Quinn. I’ve never killed anyone before or felt so relieved by murder. Well, I actually felt a sense of relief when Leon murdered the fuckers who drugged me, but then it was more so a sense of vengence. I also realized that there’s no way we could cover this up as easily as Leon did. It happened in my brother’s room! I freak out. I called Leon because he’s clearly gotten away with murder before, except for, Vince answered. He said “Jesus Christ Lacey are you okay?” I said “No.” He said  "Where the fuck are you?“ I said "I’m at home….” He said “What? We got a text saying you needed our help at the school.” I remembered setting my phone down in the living room on a charger and realized that Quinn probably took it and sent that so my family wouldn’t have came home while he was doing all he wanted to do to me. I said “I didn’t send that.” He said “So what’s wrong? And who did?” I said “Someone broke into the house and I was attacked.” Vince shouts at this point and says “What!? Where are they now? Lacey are you okay? Are they still there? We’re on our way.” I said “Please stay on the phone with me Vince I’m so scared.” He said “Lacey what happened? Where are they?” I started crying because I didn’t know how to put in words what just happened, especially over the phone. They’ll see for themselves when they get home and it’ll all speak for itself. At this point I feel completely numb. I’m just sitting near the doorway of Vince’s room, staring at the lifeless body that used to be Quinn. Why did he want to hurt me? Was it because I rejected his kiss and it sent him over the psychopathic edge? Or was this his agenda the whole time? Vince says “Lacey the phone is about to die but we’re right down the road.” Then he hung up. They all came running in the house screaming my name I was too numb and out of it to respond. All of the sudden they all came running up the stairs and walked into Vince’s room since they saw me sitting there. Vince had the most shocked expression on his face that I have ever seen before. He looked at the dead body on the floor of his bedroom and saw two of his guns and his pocket knife. They all had the most shocked expressions on their faces that I have never seen before. Leon kneels down next to me, I was shaking at this point and couldn’t speak. Leon runs across the hall into my room and grabs me a towel and wraps it around me. Vince then kneels down next to me and said “Are you okay?” I couldn’t snap out of the trance I was in and Vince softly shouted “Lacey!” I said “I’m okay.” Leon said “She needs to lie down before she hyperventilates goes into shock.” Vince carries me downstairs to the couch. They all follow and sit in the living room shocked and quiet. Jesse said “What do we do? Call the cops?” Dom said “No.” Mia said “Why not!? It’s not like we did anything wrong, he broke in here and tried to hurt Lacey. She was just defending herself.” Dom shouts back “The cops can’t come around here, Mia. They just can’t!” Mia said “Then what the fuck do we do, Dom?” I look over to Leon thinking maybe he’ll get the hint in my eyes and call this Saul and have him reach out to his connections, but just then Vince speaks and says “I have an idea.” Everyone eagerly looked over to him including myself. He said “There’s a place we can bury the body. The same place we burried Tran’s cousin.” Dom said “You’re not supposed to say that shit, man.” Vince said “As if it fucking matters anymore, Dom. The only person who didn’t know about it was her,” he says as he points to me. Leon said “I’ll call Saul and have him get his connections involed for the mess upstairs.” I thought to myself it’s a good thing he mentioned him otherwise I would’ve.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:

A couple of days go by and everything happened as it normally would. Well, if you were in my family, and used to committing such crimes. Leon’s connections through Saul came into the house and ripped up Vince’s carpet, somehow managed to clean the wood underneath, and it was like as if it never even happened. Not one drop of blood left anywhere in the room, or the house for that matter. Watching Vince, Leon, Jesse and Dom dig and drop Quinn’s lifeless body into a hole in the ground would make anybody else feel maybe frightened, paranoid, or guilty. To me however, I didn’t feel any of that. In fact, I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so numb to the whole situation. If anything I felt relieved that it was over, with what felt like a snap of the finger. The drive there and back was silent. I sat in the backseat with Vince as he held me tightly, as if he didn’t want me to even slip through his fingers just a tad bit. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t scared– I don’t know what he was to be honest. Once we got home, I ran straight up the stairs to the shower. Everyone else went quietly to their rooms as well. I think we all just want to forget this ever happened. These past few days have been nightmareish. I thought that things would get better in time, even if it was just a little bit of time but I still feel numb. I feel like the world has stopped spinning and it sat still and just gave up. I decided to crawl out of bed for once for something other than a shower or to use the restroom. I needed fresh air, but instead of walking outside my room and having to face everyone, I did what I always do. I climbed out my window and sat on the roof. The roof of my house was a sacred place for me. It was a place for me to be alone, and be with just my thoughts, and I could even see the LA horizon. Sunsets were my favorite. As I’m rolling a blunt to smoke I start to hear chatter from down below, as I listen in I could hear that it was Leon and Vince talking about me, so of course I chimed in. I could hear Vince say “What I still don’t understand is why she called you.” Leon said “What’s that supposed to mean?” Vince replied “I don’t know you tell me.” Leon said “Look man, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Vince said "The fucking truth." Leon didn't respond to this but I'm assuming he shot Vince a look and Vince said “It’s just that ever since you’ve been tutoring her she hasn’t really talked to me and all she cares about is you pretty much. I mean even that time she got jumped, she called you. I thought to myself, okay it’s reasonable, you were a lot closer to the area, but this time she had just killed a human being and her first thought is to call you instead of me?” Leon laughed under his breath and said “Look man, like I said, I don’t know why she called me that night, or the night she got jumped.” Vince responded more angrily and straight forward and asked “Is there anything I should know about between you two?” Leon snapped back and said “Jesus Christ Vince, No!” Vince said “Then why are you getting all defensive?” Leon snapped back even harder and said “Fuck you, I’m not. I just don’t like accusations or interrogations so if you got something on your fucking mind, spit it out.” Vince didn’t respond after this but all of the sudden I hear disembodied grunt noises and then see both of them fall to the ground, they are now in sight and I can see that Vince is on top of Leon punching him in the face. I don’t know what for though. Technically there is legitimately nothing going on between me and Leon and the little thing that did occur, Vince can’t prove it. Vince never thinks rationally though. However, Vince is extraordinarily smart. His hunches are never wrong, and as we can see, this hunch technically really wasn’t. Dom comes out of nowhere and rips Vince off of Leon and Vince just walks off and I could hear his car start and screech down the road all while Dom is lifting Leon up making sure he’s alright. Dom said to Leon “What the hell was that all about?” Leon said “I’m not really sure exactly.” I heard Mia’s voice in the background say “Someone should go check on Lacey.” I snap back to reality and realize I'm not just a narrator overseeing an event and that I have to scram to my window as silently as possible, without anyone seeing me. I climbed through the window and shut it and laid back down just in time to make it look like I never moved, as the door flies open, and to my surprise it’s Letty. She doesn’t say anything at first, she just stands there, sighs, then drags my bean bag chair to the middle of my room, sits, and stares again. I sit up a little bit and stare back at her. She’s staring at me like she wants me to say something and break the silence, but I have no idea what she wants me to even say. She began to talk and said “I’m guessing you already know the question I’m going to ask you……. So just tell me how you are doing.” I said “Fine… I guess.” She said “That doesn’t sound too reassuring.” I said “How am I supposed to feel?” She just glances over at me, then says “Do you want to talk about it?” I abruptly said “Nope. I do not. I want to forget it ever happened.” She said “If that weren’t a mentally unhealthy option, I’d let you do that, but you can’t just forget it ever happened. You got to face the world and you got to own up to it. I mean I’m not suggesting you see a therapist or anything like that but you can’t beat yourself up over something that needed to be done. It was kill or be killed, right? You should own that shit and be proud that motherfucker can’t hurt anybody else, all because you were strong enough to end it. So, like I said; face the world, Lacey.” I said “What if I’m not ready to do that?” She bluntly said “Then you’ll never be.” Those words did not settle right with me and they weighed heavily on my chest. I said “Well, what do you suggest?” Letty said “Breaking the rules for once. Vince isn’t your father, he’s the only one telling you that you can’t come. The rest of us would’ve brought you along ages ago. Come to the race tonight with us.” After Letty walks out I hop in the shower and then sat on the bean bag chair wrapped in my towel afterwards. I sat there contemplating whether or not I even wanted to go to the race tonight. What was Letty going to do? Force me? Months ago, being invited along to the race would be a dream come true, and now I can honestly see that it's really not that big of a deal. Also, I was a bit too comfortable in my room now, after not leaving it for days. I felt anxious about walking around my own house. I also start to think about this kind of lifestyle in general. It only gets worse from here, right? I’m only sixteen years old and I’ve killed someone, and instead of doing the normal thing and calling the police after an intruder tried to rape me, we burried the body ourselves. That means if I’m ever in trouble, I can’t call the police, I have to handle it myself. I have to be strong enough and wise enough to know what to do in those types of situations. Will I ever be? My door opened and it interupted my train of thought and I stand and turn to face Leon who quickly glances down as if he was the one embarrassed to find me in a towel and he said “Can I talk to you?” I walk over to the doorway and said “If we’re not in a relationship, you should probably knock.” Then I shut the door. It wasn’t in a rude way, and it’s not like I slammed the door, I just shut it like any normal person would close a door at any ordinary circumstance. I immediately regretted it and felt like shit afterwards regardless, but at the same time I didn’t. Too many emotions to feel all at once and it made me feel like I just wanted to sleep for a month straight. As I nervously walk down the stairs I run into Mia and she says “You look pretty. Are you ready to go?” I said “You already knew I’m coming?” She said “We all do– except Vince. He’ll find out as soon as he meets us there though.” I said as Mia started walking down the hall “Is he going to be mad?” Mia stopped and turned around and slouched her shoulder at my question, and responded with “Lacey…… Who cares? He needs to stop smothering you. As much as I don’t want to necessarily be apart of this life either, I am. I need to be smart and taught and experienced with this life if shit ever goes down. Inevitably, you are part of this life too and you as well need to know the things we do, and be experienced.” I didn’t know Mia ever felt or thought this way. I wanted to change the topic and I was also extremely curious at this point what Leon wanted to talk about so I asked “Where’s Leon?” In hopes for it to be an exit strategy and to divert the attention to a different topic, and she responds with “Don’t worry about silly boys tonight, Lacey. It’s a girl’s night.” I said “With me, you, and who?” She said “Letty! Who else?” I said “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to have a quote on quote girl’s night.” Letty came up behind us, wrapped her arms around us both, looked at me and said “I’m not, thanks for noticing. Let’s go.” As we're sitting at the race surrounded by hundreds of strange faces, I feel a little uneasy. I wasn't behind the scenes like last time with Chandler, this time I was with the Toretto crew and part of the script. Letty looked over at me and Mia and said "I'm gonna go talk to Leon about the borders for the location tonight." She left me and Mia alone which means she's going to start awkward conversation. She had an annoying knack of making any conversation with her, despite the topic, pretty much awkward. She sat on the hood of Letty's car and tapped her hand next to her signaling for me to do the same. She said "Soooooo." I condenscendingly raised my eyebrows at her and expected her to finish her sentence without me having to do much talking. She did and asked "So what's with you and Leon?" I was totally shocked by this question. Why would she even ask something like this? I responded "Nothing! Why would you even ask that?" She looked at me like she wanted to say that I was stupid or something and said "It's pretty obvious you have a crush on him the way you stare at him in awe like an alien spacecraft is landing right in front of you, and the way your eyes light up when anyone even mentions his name." I was enraged at this point. How fucking dare she stick her nose where it doesn't belong. There's nothing going on between me and Leon, and even if there was it's none of her goddamn business. Is she the one who started raising suspicion and dropped the idea in Vince's head? She's starting drama for no reason. I've never had any personal beef with anyone in the family, but she's practically asking to be the first. I responded angrily and said "That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it?" I was trying to keep my cool even though on the inside I wanted to claw her fucking eyes out. She said "No, it goes exactly like that." I snapped after that response and said "Who fucking cares if I have a little crush on him? I'm allowed to think somebody is attractive without it being any more than that. You're honestly trying to create something out of nothing, and even if there was something going on between me and Leon it's none of your goddamn business. But there isn't so quit assuming. You never talk to me, or Leon, how would you even know what's going on in our lives behind closed doors to make such an accusation?" Mia looked appalled by my response as if she didn't think I would stand up for myself in that manner. She said "Okay... I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to... Offend you." Before I could say anything I saw Letty and Leon approaching us which means the conversation definitely should come to a halt. I'm sure Leon could tell how pissed off I was because I felt heated and enraged on the inside. I could only imagine how red my face must have been due to the anger and slight embarassment. He asked me "You okay, Lacey?" I wasn't ready to answer, but it didn't matter because before I could Dom called Leon over and he walked away. I could feel Mia's eyes piercing the back of my skull as she watched me watch him walk away. Later that night in the kitchen, Mia said "I am really sorry for just assuming there was something more with you and Leon." I said "He's just my friend.... I don't have very many. I don't want you to scare him away if he finds out I have a crush on him. He'll just think I'm some immature high school girl or something." I was really milking this lie to get Mia to leave the conversation alone. She said "I wasn't going to say anything, I just thought it was cute you have a little crush on him, but I am sorry for the way I approached the topic." She walked off and I started to feel bad for reacting the way that I did. Mia also has a knack for manipulating in some ways, and she can play with her words to make you feel however she wants you to feel. In this circumstance, it was guilt, and it worked. However, on the other hand I don't see why she even felt the need to bring it up in the first place, especially in a situation where anyone could overhear the conversation. Also, what does she mean she thinks it's cute that I have a crush on Leon? Would she think the same if she knew Leon had a crush on me too? Probably not. So, the thought of that made me even more angry. She knows there's an age difference, although it isn't drastic, it's still an age difference and I'm not eighteen. That's literally the only thing keeping us from being together, so the fact that she said the crush was cute sent rage up my spine. She wouldn't think it was so cute if the roles were reversed and knew Leon, the twenty year old liked me too. I went up to my room to lay down, and try to get myself over this sudden hatred for Mia, and then there was a knock at my door. I open it and it was Leon, and oddly enough, for once I wasn't expecting him so it kind of threw me off a little bit. He said "Can I come in? I knocked this time." I laughed and said "Of course." As he walks in he sits down in the bean bag chair still in the middle of the room where Letty left it and he looked a little off. Something was bugging him but I'm not sure what it could be. He seemed fine a few hours ago. I sat down on the floor next to him and asked "Is everything okay?" He didn't make eye contact with me and instead, continued to look down at his feet and responded "it's just that... I... Never mind." I sat there puzzled because I didn't know what to do or how to respond. It's ususally him talking to me when I'm down and I'm rarely ever in these kinds of positions for anyone. He changed the subject though and asked "What are you up to tonight?" I said "this," as I pull my sketchbook off the desk of a drawing I was working on earlier. He said "Looks nice." I said "Thanks." The awkward tension seemed a bit more heavy as the conversation didn't seem real and I can tell something was seriously wrong with him. He seemed very down, just by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, and his dead eyesight; staring at nothing and avoiding eye contact. I asked him "Are you sure everything's okay?" I wasn't expecting a genuine answer, but I asked just so he would get the hint that I'm aware something is really bugging him. He didn't respond right away, but instead he got up and started walking to the door, I was assuming he was going to leave, but he closed the door and stayed in my room. At this point I was anxious, not because Leon made me uncomfortable, but because I have no idea where this is going and I don't like being put in the middle of situations right off the bat that could potentially go wrong. Leon reached for my hand and pulled me up from the floor as he sat down on my TV stand so we could be more eye-to-eye. He said "I've been thinking a lot lately." I didn't know what that meant even though I think I'm starting to get the idea. I didn't respond, and he grabbed both of my hands and rested them in his lap. He continued and said "I've been thinking about you." My heart started to flutter a mile a minute and I said "oh," simply because I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to respond because I wasn't expecting this. He continued and said "Ever since that night when you.. You know... I couldn't help but think to myself what if he had killed you? Or kidnapped you? All these scenarios kept playing in my head of what could've happened that night, and they all ended with "what if I never see you again?" I couldn't bare even the thought of that. I really, really like you. That night made me realize that, we aren't promised two more years, we're not even promised tomorrow. Anything could happen between now and the next few hours. All I know is that.... I can't wait two more years, Lacey...." My heart felt like it was seriously about to beat out of my chest. Leon is basically implying that he can't wait two more years and that could only mean two possible things: either, he's basically saying lets get together now, or that we shouldn't be together at all. The vibe is leaning more towards the first possible outcome though. Leon slowly gazed his eyes to meet mine and I started to lean in closer as he grabbed my waist, but before we could kiss Leon's phone rang which caused me to jump. I read the caller ID and it said Vince. You have got to be kidding me right now! Is Vince a fucking psychic or something? It just infuriates me that of course Vince would be the one to interrupt us. The universe is playing games with me. I saw Leon's face grow with frustration as he sighed heavily and answered the phone. He said "What?" In a very monotone, but angry voice. He sighed even heavier and said "OK," then he hung up. He stood up and stared at me for a few short moments and said "I have to go." I said "I figured." He said "Can I come back later?" I just shook my head yes. Moments later I lay in my bed trying to wonder whether that really just took place or did I smoke some really good weed that made me hallucinate. I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up later by Leon asking me to scoot over. I obviously didn't hesitate. He laid down next to me and I gave it a few moments before I decided to try anything just to see if he would first. I was surprised that he didn't. I wasn't expecting it or anything. I was just nervous. I saw Leon as this very experienced guy who doesn't know that I'm not so experienced. Was he expecting me to have superb sexual performance? Would I literally embarrass myself? After a little while of him not trying anything I thought that maybe he just assumed I was tired or something since I fell asleep while waiting on him. I fell asleep again while waiting on him to make the first move, because obviously at this point, nothing is going to happen unless I make that call and I was too damn anxious to do so. A few hours later I woke up and was surprised to see him still lying next to me. I figured he would honestly just leave. I sat up and watched him sleep for a few short moments. Not in a creepy way, but in awe to his profound beauty, and that he was actually sleeping in my bed next to me and that this was really happening. I thought long and hard about the next move I should make, but regardless of how long and hard I thought about it, the more I felt myself trying to talk myself out of it. It was ultimately going to be a tough decision to make regardless of how much thought I put into it. So I decided to clear my head and just go for it. I slightly tap his shoulder and say his name to get his attention, and as he was waking up, I sat on his lap and carressed his torso while I worked my way up to his lips. His hands moved slowly down my back to my waist as our tongues steadily locked with each other. I sat up and took my top off as he watched in admiration. He saw my tattoo and the nipple piercings for the first time and let out a big smile and jokingly said "So, that's what you got going on under there." I just smiled playfully back at him. He sat up with me still in his lap and began to kiss me again, as he worked his way down to my nipples, and he sucked on those for awhile. Then he put his right hand in my hair and gently tugged back, as he worked his way back up to my neck. Afterwards, he made eye contact with me and asked "Are you sure you really want to do this?" I whispered back to him "Don't you want it to?" After that Leon flipped me over to my back without reluctance. I felt so numb to the rest of the world. In this very moment, it was just me and him. No problems existed. Worry free, and careless. In this moment, we were in our own euphoric little world. As it came time for the actual intercourse part, I remembered just how inexperienced I am and I increasingly grew nervous again. It was finally the moment where Leon would see that I'm not as adept as I may portray myself. After all, I did make the first move and it was pretty bold. Therefore, he may be expecting that I have at least some experience. I've mentioned this before, but the kid whom I technically lost my virginity too only stuck it in once, broke my cherry and pulled it right back out immediately. The only experience I've had since then was with myself. I've stuck fingers in there quite a few times, but my tiny fingers couldn't compare to Leon's gurth. As he was about to slide it in, I panicked and said "Wait, no, stop." He looked confused and shocked and said "Is everything okay?" I said "Yeah..." He sat there for a moment and then asked "Lacey, are you... Are you a virgin?" I said "Not exactly..." He asked "What's that supposed to mean?" I began to explain to him the story of my first time and he said "That really sucks. I'm sorry he treated you that way." I said "It's okay, I guess. Nobody's first time is... Enjoyable, right?" He smirked and said "Not really." Then I confessed to him the reason I didn't tell him and said "I thought you might not want to do anything with me if you knew that I'm not... Experienced." Leon said "That's nonsense. I like you Lacey. I like you, for you. I hate to sound so blunt and kind of like a dick, but if sex was all I wanted I could've easily called Monica, or one of her slutty friends and gotten laid without even taking them out to dinner. My point is, I wouldn't have acted this nice, or worked this much to get to this moment if sex was all I wanted in the first place. Especially when there's girls I don't even have to work for at all. I really like you. I want more than just sex from you. I don't mind that you're inexperienced, it's okay. I'll just go slower than I inteded." Then he paused for a short moment and asked "Do you want to continue tonight?" I shook my head yes, and he proceeded.

[makadelikz]

the fast life updated 9/22/2016 12:33 PM

The Fast Life Dear Diary…. I’m only fifteen years old and I know way more about the ‘street life’ than I should. I was raised into it so I had no choice, it’s all I know. I’ve tried to blend in with the normal girls my age at my school, but it never works. I’m sure it’s mostly because there’s no common interest. I pretty much like to sit back and watch things unfold. I’m very observant, but because of that I’m very quiet, and being the quiet kid with no friends in high school instantly makes you the loser. I didn’t mind the name calling, and I didn’t mind having no friends because I had a family. Well, the closest thing to a family I’ve ever known. The only blood I know is my older brother, he’s hard-headed, short-tempered, but he guided me and taught me everything I know. I’m still very ignorant when it comes to ‘that life’ but that’s because my older brother doesn’t really want this life for me so he only teaches me how to be observant and catch people in lies, and ironically how to be a good liar. He always says “it will come in handy for any and every situation.“ He wants me to be something successful and earn an honest living like a doctor or lawyer or something, but he and I both know that’s just wishful thinking. He always tells me "You’re too smart to go down my road.” It kind of makes me feel like shit sometimes because the guy who doesn’t really give a fuck about anything gives a fuck about me. I’m starting to think I’m literally the only thing he does care about, besides our “family.” My biological parents were the definition of dead beat. I would like to blame everything on them, but that’s just stupid. They play a role in every major mental scar I have, but other than that, it’s not really their fault my brother and I ended up this way. We could’ve bettered ourselves, we had the potential. In fact, we all had the potential, we just chose the easy way of life, but the easy way of life comes with the hardest consequences that are sometimes too hard to bear.

CHAPTER ONE:

Who am I kidding? Why am I even trying to write in a diary right now? I think that was the girliest thing I’ve ever done. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, but it’s easier to explain everything going on in my mind on paper, and of course there’s really no one else I can talk to anyway. I’m at a very stressful age, and the life I’ve been raised in doesn’t make the stress much easier. I’m only fifteen so my family pretty much sugar coats everything. I know that they’re up to nothing legal, that’s pretty obvious, but of course I’m spared the details. There’s Dominic, who is the alpha wolf, the pack leader. Whatever you want to call it. He calls the shots, and the rest follow. He’s praised in the streets, from Echo Park to Northern Cali, people know his name. Then there’s Dom’s sister Mia, she’s seemingly innocent but she’s played a hand in everything also, only because she’s loyal to family. She doesn’t necessarily agree with what her brother does for the most part, but if any cop or anyone outside the family starts asking questions she’s down to lie and create a false alibi. Then there’s Letty, the bad ass tomboy that any girl (or guy even) would be foolish to mess with. She’s Dom’s girlfriend, always by his side when they go on “runs.” Vince is my older brother. He’s ten years older than me so he basically raised me. Vince and Dom met in the third grade, they’ve been lifelong friends and Vince is loyal to him. Vince is very stubborn though and often loses his temper very quickly. He is known as the short fuse to everyone who’s ever met him. The only people he gives a damn about is us, everyone else he just looks at as if they were garbage. When it comes to family however, Vince is very caring. He has a difficult way of showing it sometimes, but he would take a bullet for any one of us. He’s also had a crush on Mia since high school so he really hates outsiders who hit on her, even though Mia makes it pretty clear that she would never date one of her brother’s friends. Vince respects that, but that doesn’t change his feelings for her. It’s sometimes painful to watch. Jesse is the sweetest person out of all of us. He’s down with 'that life’ but if you didn’t know that you would never assume that, although he’s still pretty ignorant about the street rules in most cases as well. He knows his way around an engiene and has his knack of computer hacking, so that was basically his promised initiation. Jesse joined the 'fam’ when I was ten years old and he has been here since. Then there’s Leon, there’s so much I could say about him but I’ll spare the mushy details. He joined the crew two years ago when he was eighteen years old. He’s a drifter. He traveled from place to place stayed for a few months then left. He had no real friends or family before us. I don’t know what made him stay but I’m glad he did. He and I don’t really have the closest relationship which is odd since we all live in the same house. I mean we talk and everything, but only in group dicussions, we never had a genuine personal conversation. But why would we? Why would he want to hang out with a fifteen year old girl, who doesn’t really have anything intresting to talk about anyway? I don’t even know his favorite color. It’s not that he doesn’t talk much, he just doesn’t like to talk about personal things. Took us all about a year to figure out his birthday when Dom made a comment about how we celebrated everyone else’s birthday that year except for his. He didn’t tell us his birthday because he said he’s used to people not knowing or giving a fuck. He’s never had a real birthday party. Took us six months after that to figure out where he was even initially from before he began drifting. Every time we have talked though he seemed like a very nice guy, and Dom obviously trusts him and likes him otherwise he wouldn’t have been around this long. Same vice versa.  My brother and Leon have grown very close. Vince is Dom’s right hand man, but Leon is Vince’s. Funny how that works. Oh yeah, and then there’s… Me. There’s really nothing more about me that I could say. I’m kind of… Just there. No one really asks me for things, no one really talks to me about things. I mean it’s not like I put any effort into talking to them either but my mentality plays a major role in that. I always think to myself “well if they cared they would ask” and I always just assume no one cares because no one asks and I leave it at that. I keep to myself though for the most part so I don’t really care. I know what people outside our family think about us because I hear it in school and on the streets. There’s people who think Dom is the coolest, and they want to be just like him, winning every race, and having that major street cred. Then there’s the naysayers who call us dysfunctional, and deliquents. To me though, despite how distant I feel from them half of the time, this is my family and I love them. They’re all I have, and they’re the only people I would ever trust. I would stand up for them even if I didn’t know exactly what I was defending, which is the case most of the time. I know they race, which is pretty evident because of their cars. That’s about the only thing they talk about, but even racing isn't talked about in so many explicit details. They attend Race Wars every month, which was actually an event created by Dom. I’m guessing that’s why he’s so popular on the streets. Anyways, the only time I don’t feel distant from them is on Sundays. Dom is very big on family and he carries the traits of his father, who I actually used to call grandpa when I was younger. Every Sunday after church Dom’s father would have a BBQ for everyone in the neighborhood, only if they went to church though. Dom’s father looked out for me and Vince as much as he could.  So now every Sunday, we have “Sunday Dinner.” The rest of the world, and the rest of our problems, even if they’re with each other do not matter on Sunday evenings. We will all sit, say grace, and eat food. Kind of funny how things like that work, to everyone else we’re dysfunctional deliquents, but to us, we’re family.

CHAPTER TWO:

After school I help Mia out at the cafe. It’s family owned, of course. Dom inherited it from his father, he also inherited “Torretto’s Auto Repair.” By day the boys, and Letty, are working in the garage, and Mia and I run the cafe. Very good fronts too, makes us look as if all the money we earn is from an honest living. The others will stop by after they close the garage or when they’re on lunch. Honestly, it’s the only part of the day I look forward to. Mostly because I get to see Leon. Just see him though, we never do much talking. I find my obvious attraction to him pretty awkward though. I mean we hardly know each other on a personal level. That and he’s four years older than me, but he acts way older than nineteen (almost twenty) sometimes I actually forget that he is really only four years older than me. To him I’m just Vince’s little sister. Well, that’s pretty much what I am to everyone, like I said, everyone knows Dom, so everyone knows Dom’s crew as well. Since Vince is Dom’s right hand man, it’s pretty much a sacred rule not to fuck with him either. So just being Vince’s little sister has pretty much prevented every fight I’ve almost been in at school. Nobody wants that kind of trouble. Not that I think my brother would actually harm a teenage girl (or boy) for harming me, but I’ll let them think it if it saves my ass. “Hey Lacey, can you do me a favor and stock the shelf over there with more chips?” Mia interrupts my daydreams. I don’t have a problem with doing it at all, but being in my head is the best place I know. Being snapped out of it to do something such as stock a stupid shelf is pretty annoying. I would never take it out on her though. Mia is the person I’m probably the closest with at least as of recently. I mean there’s my brother, but some of the things Mia and I have talked about since I began helping out here are things I could literally never talk about with my brother. Mostly because it’s been girly things, but our talks really haven’t been genuine anyway because I keep a lot of shit to myself. The thought of even talking about half of this girly stuff with Mia, let alone Vince, is kind of fucking awkward. I remember being little though and walking around the Torretto house in Mia’s shoes that definitely were too substantial for me. I’ve practically lived here before I actually did live here. Mia would braid my hair and tell me stories, paint my nails, you know, girly shit. I admired her. I wanted to be just like her when I got older, but now, I don’t even want to be myself half of the time. Still wouldn’t trade this life for anything though simply because these people are priceless. No amount of anything could ever replace any of them. As I’m stocking the shelf, I hear a too familiar sound. The sound of street racing cars, but only the finest for Torretto’s crew. One by one they enter the cafe greeting Mia. I thought to myself “Am I really this fucking invisible to everybody?” But then out of nowhere, the unexpected happened, Leon fucking says hi to me and asked me for a bag a chips from the box and told me not to tell Mia, even though Mia already knows, especially since she looked right over at him and gave him 'the stare.’ She just hates re-doing the inventory and everyone knows that. “What kind do you want?” There were only two different kinds to choose from that were left in the box, but I wanted to cling on to the conversation for as long as I possibly could. “Uh, I think I’m gonna go with the Frito’s today.” I handed him the chips and he walked off. Best twenty seconds of the day. I know this sounds fucking pathetic, but I’m only a fifteen year old girl who never had a real relationship exactly and this is my first real die-hard crush on a guy, so what do you expect? My brother walks over to me shortly afterward, I already knew his favorite kind of chips, he gets the same kind every day. I handed him the bag and he said “Thanks Lacey, but that’s not the only reason I came over here. I got you something.” He pulls something out of his pocket and it’s a jewelry box with a necklace inside. “I remember you telling me you wanted this necklace so I ordered it online and had it shipped to the garage.” I was shocked because I wasn’t expecting this, but also because I never thought he would even remember that I fucking said that. I just brought up the necklace to break awkward silence in the car ride home when he picked me up from school about a month ago. I hugged him so tightly, and it was the most genuine hug we’ve shared in quite awhile. I don’t know what made him have such a good mood today, but I am thankful for whatever it was because Vince hasn’t been like this for a few months. I was starting to think that he didn’t have an ounce of compassion left in him. I was starting to think none of them had any compassion left in them. Sunday dinners were getting quieter and quieter. I put the necklace on. It was a shiny gold lock-it, I’m surprised Vince remembered that I prefer gold over silver. The state of contentment quickly faded when I realized that, there’s really no one or anything special that comes to mind that would even be inside this necklace. I mean, of course there is my family, but that’s cliche and just a given because they’re really all I know and there’s two sides. Who or what would go on the other side? The satisfaction faded even faster when I remembered how expensive this necklace was, and I knew there was no way Vince could afford something like this and still have tons of money leftover by just doing brake checks, and tune ups. Even the overall family money earned from just the garage and the cafe wouldn’t be enough to just blow money everyday, especially with bills for the house, garage, and cafe combined. Plus, there’s a least ten-thousand dollars under the hood of each of their cars, and that's just under the hood and not the entirety of the car itself. It’s pretty obvious that they have a source of income from something else as well. I always just kept my mouth shut though, because it wasn’t really important to me at the time, nor was it my business.

CHAPTER THREE:

The unwanted sound of my alarm clock woke me up. Time for school! Only the enthusiasm part of that is nothing but sarcastic. I had to wake up even earlier than necessary just to have enough time to convince myself to even go, that and to get ready. I do my hair, makeup, teeth brushed, all the usual shit. The worst part was the stupid uniform. Plaid skirt, stupid tie, stupid vest, stupid buttoned up white collared shirt, stupid knee high socks, and stupid shoes. Oh and if we didn’t want to wear the vest we had to wear the shirt with the school logo on it, or the jacket. Having half of my closet filled with identical clothing irritated me so much. Reminded me of a cartoon character and how in every episode they would be in the same exact outfit. The only thing about the outfit that can be modified was the shoes, as long as they were all black. I think what I hated about all this the most was that I fell into a routine, as if I was living the same day over and over again, and it didn’t help that five days out of the week, I had to wear identical clothing as the previous day. It sounds like I’m complaining, I know. Most people in this world have this exact description for their life. The nine to five grind. I don’t want that though, and I know damn well that we don’t have that, I just want to be apart of whatever it is that they do. Today at school they’re handing out progress reports during every English or reading class. A progress report pretty much shows you what your grade in every class is, and tells you that you have a couple weeks to improve or maintain your grade before report cards are finalized and mailed out to your homes. I knew I was going to have a horrible grade in math, and some pretty bad grades in other classes too, but none that would fail me. It wasn’t that I didn’t get the material, except for Algebra, that class is literally gibberish to me, but for the rest of my classes it’s just that I didn’t care. I had no motivation whatsoever to even pretend to care, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed. I’ve been called to talk one-on-one with every single teacher I have, nearly every day, and that isn’t an exaggeration. Today, my history teacher pulled me aside after class and said “Lacey, I’m sure you know what we’re going to talk about.” I said “I know, it’s my grade. You gave me a D.” He said “I didn’t gve you anything less than what you deserved. I don’t understand Lacey, you get the material. Everything you have turned in has practically a perfect grade every time. The problem is getting you to turn in every assignment. The ones you do turn in aren’t even on time, which takes points off, which brings your grade down even more. You’re smart, you really are, but you concern me, last year you were impeccable, and I even considered putting you in my honors class, but this year you’ve let me down.” I almost felt like shit, but Mr. Klaskow isn’t anyone special to me. However, his lecture definitely didn’t settle right in my head, especially when he said he’s going to have to contact a “parent” for a conference. I screamed internally. I said “Please don’t! I’ll change my attitude around, I promise.” It’s not that I was scared, but it’s just hard explaining to teachers why my brother is listed as my Guardian, and why my parents are basically non-existing. Also, Vince would not be happy about coming down to the school, simply because he hates explaining why he is my Guardian as well. He feels like it’s really no one’s business. Ultimately, it’s because the school raises red flags for students who don’t live in what society deems as a normal, funcational household. There would literally be a little red flag symbol next to my name in the school’s system to signify that I’m what they call an “at risk youth” simply because I don’t live in a traditional household. So basically, every teacher and school counselor will poke their noses where it doesn’t belong and begin to ask a lot of questions that they don’t need to be asking. This is why I switched schools, because I was flagged at my old school as an “at risk youth” and the school guidance counselor didn’t “believe me” when I said my home life is absolutely fine, so she sent The Department of Children and Families to my house with a social worker who wanted to place me in foster care. Surprisingly, Vince won the trial by having a fantasic lawyer who’s name was Saul, I believe, who actually came all the way from New Mexico. Apparently Leon knew him and hooked Vince up, and they convinced the jury that simply living in a house that doesn’t have a mother or father doesn’t mean it’s dysfunctional, and that I still get all the love and care a child needs. Anyways, Mr. Klaskow sighed really long and hard, but he said “Lacey you have three weeks to prove your statement true, but I will make sure I talk to all of your teachers as well and make sure you’re improving in every class, not just mine.” I literally wasn’t expecting this answer, but thank you Mr. Klaskow, partly genuine, partly sarcastic. Why did he have to continue with "but I’m going to talk to all of your teachers as well?” I went straight home after school because Mia texted me and told me there wasn’t much to help out with at the cafe for today. I sat down on the couch, and basically mimicked my teacher’s sigh.  I thought to myself “How in the hell am I going to improve in math? The rest will be easy, but math!? Why did Mr. Klaskow say he would talk to all of my teachers? Why can’t he just worry about HIS class?!?!“ I pulled out my Algebra textbook and sat at the coffee table and almost wanted to cry because I could feel my brain pulsating into a migraine by trying to force myself to understand something that appears as hieroglyphics to my eyes. It’s literally a foreign language to me. It’s easily compared to the cashier who always tries to talk to me in Spanish at the Latin Market down the street. Can’t he tell I don’t fucking understand? The only reason I go in there is because Mexican soda is to die for. Leon walks out of the kitchen and it startled me inside because I didn’t think anyone was home. He said "I heard you sighing in the kitchen. You sound pretty stressed. You okay?” I literally stared at him for half a second before responding. I said “Umm, yeah…. (sighs) No.. I don’t fucking get this shit.” He giggled. I looked up at him to read his body language to see if he was being playful, or being a dick. I could tell by his smile he was being playful, but I wasn’t in the mood, yes not even for Leon. I said “What’s so funny?” He said “Relax, I’m just playin’.  You know I could help you if you want? Algebra and History are the only two subjects I was ever actually good in. Failed the rest. Well, I failed the rest just because I never wanted to do the work, and I never went to school, but I understood it to an extent.” I looked up in shock not only because he offered to help me, which means one-on-one time with Leon, which I’ve been practically dreaming about, but because he said he’s excellent at algebra. I guess I thought longer than I needed to with my response because then he said “Well……?” I said “That would be amazing. I need to learn this in three weeks.” He said “I could teach you this shit in a day.” He sat down on the ground next to me, I could literally hear him breathe he was so close, but I didn’t mind. He said “So where are we starting?” I just looked up and smiled. Involuntary I guess, but I just couldn’t contain the excitement I felt.

CHAPTER FOUR:

The tutoring has been going on for a month now. I’m not using him just to keep him around though, I have actually learned algebra, but each new chapter is still confusing, but less confusing thanks to Leon. My grades did improve, and Mr. Klaskow never called my brother to arrange a conference. It has been pleasent having Leon around me every day after school though. I started asking for help in almost every subject just to keep him around longer. Okay, I confessed. I am looking for excuses to keep him around longer, and the bonus is the grades I’m getting. I know that it seems like I was using him just because I had a little crush on him, but honestly I knew that the crush was never going to go anywhere anyway, and it’s certainly not like he’ll ever know, because that means I would have to tell him. He’s also way older and more mature than me. I genuinely just kept him around because I liked the company, I liked feeling like I had a “friend.” He didn’t even mind tutoring me, It’s like he looked forward to it. I know I certainly did.   Today we were in the middle of our tutoring session, and I was literally too deep in trying to figure out the answer to a problem that for a split second I forgot Leon was actually right there analyzing my work. He asked me a question, which made me completely lose track of what I was doing within this multi-step equation. I didn’t mind though because the question made me feel very worhty, and pleasent for a short second, but then I remembered the reality behind the answer to that question. It was such a simple question, but a question that nobody has asked me for a few years now. The question was “How are you feeling?” I know it was probably in refrence to the tutoring because we’ve actually studied longer than usual today, but that question alone has an endless list for me. I could go on and on about how I’m feeling Leon, do you really want to go there? I didn’t actually ask him that though. To be honest I’m pretty good at coming up with bullshit answers to avoid confrontation right on the spot, but today, right now, I couldn’t. I just blankly stared at him and then looked down and said “I don’t know.” He said “Hey, are you alright? Is there something you want to tallk about?” In my head I’m screaming isn’t that obvious? But I just look back at him trying to contain my emotions and said “no,” as in there’s nothing I want to talk about, but my voice fucking cracked! Of course it did. Now he knows I’m lying, and now he’s going to poke at this until he gets a straight answer, but contrary to my belief he just looked at me and said “I know that’s a lie, but I’m not going to make you talk about something you don’t want to talk about, but just know that you’re not alone, and I will literally sit with you for hours and hours and talk with you about anything you need to talk about.” I saw genuine compassion for the first time in his bright green eyes, and it was for me. A fucking tear came down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away and pretended like that didn’t just happen, I didn’t even feel like I was on the verge of tears, thank you body for signaling me like you’re supposed to! He obviously saw it though. I know he did, he just sympathetically touched my shoulder and closed my text book and said “we can be done for today,” and he softly smiled and walked away. I literally went straight to my room, and threw my face into the pillow and lost myself. I cried for hours. Why was I being so emotional? Oh, because that was first time in such a long time that anyone in the house actually cared about what was on my mind, and how I was feeling.  I’ve prepared for this moment for awhile. What I would say. I would be straight-forward and tell them that I hate being excluded and that I’m not an idiot, but why couldn’t I do that today? I literally thought I could write a dissertation about how I feel, but when it came down to it I choked up. I’m a fucking mess. Now, I know I'm probably overreacting just a tad, but coming from feeling like you're all alone in the world to instantly seeing someone that you actually fancy show concern for you, is pretty overwhelming. Later that night while eating dinner at the dining room table everyone was quiet for the most part, but that was beginning to become a usual thing. Oddly enough Leon is the one who starts conversation. He’s been a lot more chatty lately. It feels almost as if that he’s finally genuinely content with us, and being around us. As I mentioned before, Leon was a drifter. He didn’t stay in places for a long time. This has been the longest he’s stayed anywhere since the moment he began drifting. Kind of pleasing to know that Leon feels like he has a place to refer to as home. Out of all people Leon could talk to though, he initiated conversation with me. You would think this is something I would want, and a few weeks ago it’s something I literally would hope for, but after what happened earlier today this is not something I want right now at all. All the attention will be on me, which is also something I’ve been hoping for, but now that I got it the feeling is a bit too uneasy for me. “So, Lacey…. You really never talk during dinner. Why is that?” Leon asked. It’s almost as if he’s testing me, and it’s kind of irritating. I said “Well, no one ever really talks to me.” He said, “Well lets all play would you rather” I gave him such a puzzled expression. Usually I can read people like a book, I can predict literally almost every move or motive from a person, but Leon is a different story. A book that’s in a different language. This is definitely not something I was expecting, even Vince laughed at his request but Jesse said he’s down to do it, and Mia said “That sounds like fun, we haven’t had a family game night in ages.” Vince continued to laugh and said “…Alright…” in a tone as if he wasn’t really into it but he didn’t want to be the only one not playing. Leon looked directly at me and it was as if he smiling through his eyes. I don’t know if I’m infuriated or bewildered. Did he do this to piss me off? It certainly feels like it but at the same time, Leon never striked me as the kind of person who would actually do that intetionally. Especially not after today when he seemed so compassionate towards me. What is he doing exactly? A few hours after dinner Vince, Dom and Letty left. They of course didn’t say where they were going but I’m sure it was nothing vigorous. Jesse and Mia were asleep. I looked out the window and watched the others leave but then noticed Leon’s car was still in the driveway. I went looking for him and found him in the backyard. I said “So what was that for?” he looked as if he was taken aback by my question he said “What was what for?” I said “You know, the whole thing you pulled tonight at dinner.” He said “Lacey, I didn’t pull anything. I thought you realized what my objective was.” Now I’m the one that’s dumbfounded. I asked him “What do you mean?” He said “My plan was to get them to talk to you, and ask you questions. You said no one really ever talks to you, but tonight, every single one of them did.” I was kind of pleased with his answer, still a bit confused though. I said “Why would you rather though?” He said “It’s one of my favorite games. You can get way more creative with would you rather as opposed to twenty questions. Plus, when you put someone on the line and give them two scenarios and two choices, you can tell a lot about that person simply by which outcome they…. Would rather. No matter how silly or simple the question.” It took me a minute to settle with what he said but it was honestly the best thing I’ve ever heard him say. I sat down near him on the back steps and asked something I probably shouldn’t have and said “Why didn’t you go with Vince, Dom and Letty? You usually do.” He said “Because I don’t have to……” I left it at that and was quiet for a minute, I wanted to initiate conversation but at the same time my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Leon interrupted the silence and said “Sorry if that sounded abrupt, I didn’t mean for it to. It’s just that I don’t need to go with them all the time, sometimes, I just like to rest…..” I smiled and said “Why do you always have toothpicks in your mouth?” It was such a dumb question, I know, but I wanted to switch the topic. He laughed and said “What an odd question, but I like it, I like odd,” and he continued with “and I don’t always have a toothpick.” We both started laughing. Then he said “I used to smoke cigarettes. Nearly a pack a day. I quit cold turkey. One of the things that I picked up instead of a cigarette was a toothpick. It’s the habit of constantly having something in my hand that was hard to kick. I also started chewing gum. Not nicotine gum, but regular gum, but toothpicks kind of just stuck. Every time I felt the urge I would just chew on a toothpick until it passed. The irony is that now I have a toothpick addiction.” We both chuckled at the ironic outcome of the toothpicks, but the conversation kind of dropped there when Mia opened the door and asked me to help her do the dishes. Leon smiled at me and said “Talk to you tomorrow.”

CHAPTER FIVE:

Dear DIary…. Why am I writing in this dumb book? Why am I writing as if anyone is actually reading this other than me? I honestly never thought I would be this girly, but here I am writing in a journal and addressing it as my diary. It’s honestly stress relieving though. Anyways, since I’m here I might as well talk about my life the past few months since it’s been that long since I’ve last written in here. Leon and I have developed a very odd friendship, but a friendship to say the least. Most of our conversations are short, the longest time we spend together talking is about school related sutff. Nothing other than that has been exciting lately. Nothing out of the oridinary. Dom, Vince, Letty, Jesse and Leon still go on… night adventures. That’s what I like to call them. They leave late at night, and usually don’t come back until about 6AM, of course I still don’t know what they’re up to, and when it comes to that I’m completely out of the loop. I just know that every time they leave Mia gets upset, but in a way where she knows she can’t do anything about whatever is bothering her so she just lets it go. Today is Leon’s birthday. We haven’t actually celebrated his birthday since we’ve known him. I don’t want to push it, but I do want to surprise him since he’s never had a real birthday party. I bought him a cake, but my excuse will be because of all the help he’s given me with tutoring, that’s if he doesn’t appreciate the fact that I’m attempting to celebrate his birthday. I’m sure he  won’t mind though… At least I hope not. I probably should've just gotten candy, because that would've been a lot easier to dismiss since Leon's birthday is three days before Halloween. I’m supposed to meet him today directly after school at his new house, yeah he moved out, which is kind of upsetting, but he told me it was only temporary, I don’t know why he moved out, all I know is that him and Vince got into a disagreement because they shared a room. I guess Leon didn’t like Vince bringing in random girls all hours of the night, at least that was my assumption. Leon said he has roommates now, which I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not really used to being around anyone that isn’t my household. I just hope they’re not home when I’m there today.

After the last bell at school rang I quickly got out of there to avoid any teachers talking to me, they haven’t lately because my grades have actually improved, but just in case. Well, that and I was eager to pick up Leon’s cake from the bakery. I don’t even like cake, but I’m hoping he does otherwise this would be a very awkward situation. I finally got the cake and got on the city bus, which is actually a pretty frightening experience for me, I hate the city bus, every time I’ve rode it by myself some creepy person always tries to talk to me. Didn’t help that I was in a school uniform which is a top porn fantasy, my school is setting girls like me up for high anxiety in risky situations. There was literally this one time this creepy older dude was pestering me and asking me if I would join him and his wife in a threesome, but I pretended that I didn't speak any English which worked a litte bit, but I think the guy could tell I was faking it. However, some random dude who overheard the pervert saved the day. Surprisingly I made it off the bus alive, and my anxiety only reached a mild point. I finally found the house Leon is staying at now and I knocked on the door. It took him a few minutes but he finally opened it, he smiled and said “Hey Lacey.” and cocked his head towards the direction of the living room and told me to come in, I said “Wait. I’ve got something for you.” He turned back around with bewilderment, and I picked up the cake that I placed on the ground next to the door so he wouldn’t notice it right away. I said “..Happy Birthday.” and I smiled at him. He just stared at the cake and back at me, he did this a few more times and now at this point my anxiety is through the roof and I’m thinking to myself damn I fucked up but he started to laugh, it was a joyous laugh, he smiled real hard and I could honestly see his eyes water, my heart was beating insanely fast. He said “Thank you so much Lacey, I wasn’t expecting this… This… This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Literally.” I wanted to start crying because I thought he was starting to get upset, but I feel accomplished now. He immediately cut out a slice and offered me a piece and I said “No thank you, I actually don’t like cake. I would’ve gotten ice cream but it would’ve melted on the bus.” He smiled and said “It’s alright. You could’ve gotten me pretzels and stuck a sticky note onto the bag that said happy birthday and I would’ve been just as pleased.” I smiled real hard. Then out of nowhere he hugs me, and kisses me on top of my head. Anxiety level went from chill to almost panic attack in less than a second. I could smell alcohol on his breath when he got close to me. I said “Leon, are you okay?” He said “No, not really. I am now, but….” He didn’t continue his thought. I said “When did you start drinking today?” He said “When I woke up at eleven. I’m sorry Lacey I know I said I would help you today, but I forgot today was my birthday until I woke up. Birthdays aren’t really an exciting day for me, they never really were. This turned into the best birthday I’ve ever had though…. Thanks to you.” That comment sent chills down my spine. Just a few months ago I felt as if Leon didn’t really even acknowledge the fact that I existed, and now according to him, I gave him the best birthday of all his twenty years of life. I said “It’s okay, you don’t have to help me today. I’m actually doing pretty good. The only reason I asked you to study today was because I wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” I sounded as if I was confessing something bawdy, like he’s a Catholic preist and I’m the sinner. He said “Honestly…. Thank you so much Lacey….. Also, if you ever need anything… Anything at all.. I know I’m not down the hall anymore but you can come over here whenever you want. I’ll be here unless I’m with Dom, and all of them.” I was almost tempted to ask him what is he does when he’s “with Dom, and all of them” but I’m having a good day, and we’re having a good moment, and I don’t want to spoil that. Maybe, I’ll ask him tomorrow since I'm getting a little bit more brave when it comes to actually talking to him. Leon drove me home so I didn’t have to ride the bus, especially now since it’s almost dark outside. He pulled up in front of the house and said “Thank you again for a great birthday, Lacey. Also, how did you even get the money for the cake? I didn’t think Mia paid you for helping out at the cafe.” She didn’t usually. She used to but hasn’t in awhile, and I’m not going to ask for money like that. It was kind of like allowance money for doing chores. However, I actually was selling stuff at school, that’s how I got the money, but I wasn’t going to answer, and I didn’t think he would ask this so I wasn’t prepared for any sort of escape route. I shot back with “How did you get the money for every modified piece for this car? Or even the car itself? I didn’t think doing brake checks, and tune ups paid for a luxury living.” He looked back at me, and he looked very shocked and didn’t say anything for a couple seconds I started to feel shitty but then he looked at me and said “Touche.” On Halloween day I overheard everyone talking in the kitchen, I heard Leon too, I stopped to hear what they were talking about, considering they thought I wasn’t around. It would be interesting to hear what would come up. At first I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned “the meet up” tonight. I’ve heard them refer to things as “the meet up” before, but I don’t know what it is. What the hell are they going to do? I ran back upstairs and called a friend of mine, the only friend I actually have, and even she is not someone I fully trust, but she lives in a different city, and I know she has a car, and I asked her if she could come visit immediately, and that we’re going to need her car tonight. I thought to myself what am I doing right now? Am I actually considering following my family just to see what it is that they do? I kept thinking of every rational excuse if I was to get caught, but I honestly couldn’t think of one, especially because I don’t even know what it is I’m about to stumble upon. Even Mia is going tonight, is it that big? Mia usually never goes with them. Only once in a blue moon. Chandler and I hung out in my room all day, I discussed the plans with her, and she said “As long you don’t get me killed I’m down for whatever.” I could hear everyone getting ready to leave, so me and Chandler snuck out the back door and ran to her car before anyone got outside, we dunked in her car so they wouldn’t see us we waited for all of them to get halfway down the road before Chandler turned her car on and began to follow. We followed them but stayed at a safe distance, we saw that there was a street blockage, but with hundreds of other street racing cars I was thinking what the fuck but Chandler said “Holy shit this looks cool.” She began to drive closer to the car “meet,” and I said “Chandler, no. Do you see all those cars? None of them look like yours, because they’re modified street racing cars. You have a 2008 Chevy Malibu. They’re going to think you’re an average person, and they’re not going to let you in. Park in the parking garage down the block that way, it’s free.” I thought to myself that was a pretty excellent point, but also I could see Leon’s car parked in one of the intersections, he was the guy blocking the road. How awkward would that have been for Chandler to casually drive up next to his yellow imported-from-Europe-1996 Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 in her used-bought-off-the-street-silver 2008 Chevy Malibu with me in the passenger seat? We walked back down towards the blockage but I said “Lets enter a different way.” So we took a right at the last intersection before the blockage, walked down the block to the next blockage of parked cars with people who weren’t even paying attention, but also people who wouldn’t recognize me.   We started blending into the crowd, but Chandler of course doesn’t exactly know the real reason we’re here. I told her the basic outline of tonight’s plans but she doensn’t exactly know why I wanted to follow my brother. She doesn’t even know what my brother looks like or anyone else in the family for that matter. She thinks that I snuck her into some kind of party and that nobody would really care if they saw me. She started to have too much fun. She was dancing with random people, and even shared a blunt with someone for like five minutes. I walked over to her and these random guys smoking blunts and said “Chandler, lets go.” I grabbed her hand seeing how she’s already high as hell and we walk through the crowd, I want to get closer to the center because that seems to be where everyone was gravitating their focus to. I got close enough. I saw my brother, Dom, Letty, Jesse, and Mia. I got there just in time to hear Dom say “Okay Hector will hold the money” and he handed this Hector a fat stack of cash. It was evident that everyone who put in the money was going to race Dom. The concept was easy to grasp. Whoever won, got the entire stack of cash and whatever else was betted. I felt uneasy, but it was starting to make sense. I thought to myself okay so they street race at least they’re not hitmen but I still felt like I was missing so much more. Dom invented this thing called Race Wars that happened once of month, but this wasn’t it. Vince took me to one of the Race War meets a couple years ago. Apparently Dom has it rigged to where it’s legal, as long as no bets are made, but seeing this, I’m sure there’s bets made under the table. I turned to talk to Chandler but she wasn’t next to me. I started freaking out, but I was mostly pissed off, because she’s been wondering off since we got here. How could she just walk away and not tell me? Also, how is she going to say "as long as you don't get me killed, I'm down for whatever" when she's the one being reckless and putting herself in sketchy positions where dangerous scenarios are more than likely to happen? We were surrounded by a lot of people, too many people, I could smell the toothpaste on some people’s breaths. She was just right next to me a few moments ago. I fought my way through the crowd to look for her, but someone grabs my arm and turns me around and my heart sank to the fucking ground. “Lacey!? What are you doing here!?” It was Leon. I was so careful, how the hell did he just happen to find me? I didn’t say anything I yanked my arm from his hand and ran away. I couldn’t find Chandler anywhere, and at this moment I was panting. I ran back to the parking garage. Chandler’s car was still parked. The cold Halloween night air was making me breathe really heavy. I had no choice but to run back and attempt to look for her. I saw Leon sitting in his car again, as if what just happened didn’t fucking happen. He seemed to be more alert though as if he was looking for me, but as if he couldn’t leave his car at the same time. I saw him talk into a walkie talkie and then next thing I knew I heard joyous screams as if the race was about to go down, I heard engienes revving, and I fought my way through all the crowds, I made my way to front of the crowd just in time to see the cars breeze right past me. They only raced a quarter mile, and Dom won. I could hear cheering, and I saw the Hector guy give Dom all the money. I still feel like this isn’t the only source of mysterious income, but at the moment that wasn’t on my mind. I couldn’t find my friend and next thing I knew I heard sirens. These things get shut down real fast apparently. Everyone scattered like roaches to their cars and headed out immediately. Cops were chasing cars left to right and even stopping pedestrians. I ran as fast as I could to the parking garage thinking that Chandler would now have enough sense to come back to her car, but she still wasn’t there. I waited for like five minutes and thought holy fuck where is she it doesn’t take that long to get here especially when you’re running because of the COPS. I ran out of the parking garage and started walking pretty fast the cops seemed to have been off chasing cars now, I heard a car screech and pull up behind me. It was Leon. He seemed angry as fuck and it scared me, I’ve never seen him this mad he said “Get in!” We didn’t say a word to each other the whole way home. During the ride he didn’t seem pissed off, just concerned. I asked “Are you going to tell Vince?” He said “No. As far as I’m concerned we’re not even having this conversation right now. If you want to tell Vince then that’s on you.” I left the conversation alone after that. We were the first ones back home, and Leon said “Thank God. Get out and run to the backdoor, make it look like you didn’t even go out tonight.” I began to ask what the huge deal was, but he cut me off, so I did exactly what he said. I ran to the back door, up to my room, changed into some gray sweatpants and a black and yellow Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt. I threw my hair up in a bun and removed my makeup. I look as if I was sleeping this entire time and I finished just in time. Gradually everyone began walking through the front door as I was peeking down from the stairs, no one sees me yet. They all walk in so casually, as if none of this even happened. As if they weren’t just being car chased by police. I went downstairs and Leon shot me this look as if he was telepathically telling me to “play it cool.” I walked up to Vince and he said “Hey what’s up Lacey. Still awake?” I said “Yeah, couldn’t sleep.”

CHAPTER SIX:

The next morning, no one is home except for Vince, I go downstairs and sit next to him on the couch. I immediately started asking him questions about last night. I gave him the opprotunity to tell me the truth, but after I asked him what he did last night he just said “What do you think I did?” I said “I don’t know that’s why I’m asking.” He said “Well, what did you and your friend do last night?” It’s like he knows I was testing him so now he’s testing me. I said “Why?” he said “Why does what I did matter?” I just sat there in silence. He said “So… Is there anything you want to tell me?” I just looked up at him and thought to myself if I tell him the truth maybe he won’t care, maybe he’ll finally keep me in the loop with everything. Plus, he’s answering my questions with questions as if he already knows exactly what I’m getting at and exactly what Chandler and I did last night. I know my brother all too well and continuing to lie isn't going to me any good because then Vince won't trust me. If Vince starts answering your questions with codenscending questions, he knows whatever it is you think you're hiding. I immediately came clean and said “I followed you last night, I saw the race and everything.” He looked at me as if he wasn’t shocked and he just bluntly said “I know. I knew this day would come. I guess I just wanted to hold on to your innocence a little longer. Next time though you better ask me so I can keep you safe. I also know that your friend wasn’t safe.” I was surprised to hear him say that. How could he have possibly known Chandler got lost or whatever happened to her? I mean, him knowing I was there wasn’t surprising, he could’ve saw me just as easily as Leon did. Or did Leon tell him? I asked “Is she okay? I’ve been trying to call and text her all morning.” He said “She lost her phone, but she’s fine. She got into a random person’s car and went to a random after party. Hector told me she saw her there after she walked up to him fucked out of her mind asking "Can you help me find Lacey Scaletta?” I’m sorry to say this Lacey, but friends like her can get you killed or locked up. I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore…. At least if I’m not around.“ I jokingly said "You technically were though,” but he just gave me 'the look’. However, I knew what he was saying was true. Chandler was too unpredictable and wild. She was a great friend when it came down to it, but in situations like last night she can’t be trusted. She could’ve gotten me or herself killed. Smoking weed, popping bottles, going home and partying with strangers, She could’ve been raped and killed. She didn’t even bother contacting me through social media to say she was okay or that she was sorry for making me freak out so badly. I said to Vince “I don’t really hang out with Chandler much anyway, she lives in Riverside. She’s just the only person I know with a car other than you guys.” He said “Hey….. You know what… How about I let you drive my car.” I said “When!? Right now? For what?” He said “Yes, and because I’m going to teach you how to drive. You’ll be sixteen in two months, I knew how to drive when I was fourteen. I’m not about to let my baby sister not know how to drive.” We started to walk outside towards his car, and I said “Wait, what else is it that you guys do? And I want the truth.” He looked at me very puzzled, but he sighed and said “Get in, I’ll explain.” I’m actually driving pretty well, and Vince said he was impressed, and I am too. I didn’t think it would be this easy, but once I got used to the small things like putting my foot on the brake to switch gears the rest came naturally. He occasionally told me to slow down or speed up but it was my first time I wasn’t quite use to the feel yet. He said “Alright pull over into that parking lot.” I recognized this place I said “Hey, isn’t this where Race Wars is at every month?” He said “Yeah, I’ve taken you here once, remember?” I said “Yes! That’s exactly why I remember this place.” He said “Pull over to the track.” Once I got there he said “Now, go as fast as you can, and when I say stop slam your foot on the brake.” I said “Are you serious?” He said “I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” So I did it and I could feel the adrenaline pump through my veins. This has honestly been one of the nicest days I’ve spent with Vince in such a long time. We started laughing directly after I slammed my foot on the break and he said “So do you really want to know what it is we do other than street racing and Race Wars?” I looked at him as if that was a dumb question and said “Yes Vince. I hate feeling like I’m entirely out of the loop, as if none of you even trust me enough to tell me.” He said “That’s just it Lacey, we have to trust you entirely before we tell you.” I said “Vince I’m your little sister. I would lie for you, I would die for you, Vince. I know it’s supposed to be the other way around, but I love you just as much as you love me, and I would die for you too. I would lie or die for any of you. You guys are all I got, do you really think I would go out and tell the world? I’ve always known you guys were up to something, I just didn’t know what it was exactly. I want to be apart of whatever it is, I want to be one of you!” He said “Alright, but it takes time, I can’t just throw you into the ring and expect you to win the fight. I have to train you. We all do. We also all have our own roles. I know you’ve seen the inside of Leon’s car, so I know you saw the police scanner, that’s evidently his role. I do the dirty work, Dom and Letty are the main shot callers basically, but they’re just body guards for me technically, and Jesse he’s the mechanic, he’s the one who makes our cars pretty much bullet proof, and he juices up our cars for races."I asked "So the races are rigged?” He said “No, that’s not what I meant. We just have an extra boost of Nitrious Oxide.” I asked “So is Dom the only one who races or do you all race?” He said “We pretty much all get our turn, but Dom mainly.” I continued to ask questions because he seemed to start holding back on answers. “So street racing is the only thing you do?” He said “No. There’s a shipping yard a few miles north. There’s a dirty inside job there, but one of the guys on the inside of that dirty job is on the inside with us. He’s basically our informant. He tells us what trucks the fake shipments are in and it’s route and we hijack it. Most of the time it’s truck loads of money, sometimes it’s money and cocaine. We thought about taking the cocaine too, but that’s not our thing, and we give our informant more share than he normally gets that’s what’s in it for him.” I asked “So do you kill the truck drivers?” Vince said “No! We don’t kill anyone. I hijack the truck, and shoot the driver with a tranq bullet, we take what we want, and we leave the truck on the side of the road, the driver eventually wakes up, but by that time we’re already long gone.” I asked “When’s the next shipment?” He laughed a little under his breath and said “That's not for you to worry about.” I said “But if you’re the one who hijacks the truck that means the rest of them are just in their cars, I can just sit with them and watch you hijack.” He said “Sit with who?” I said Leon and Vince immediately said no. I asked him what he had against Leon since the way he said no made it seem like he did have something against him, or at least something against me riding with him, and he said “I have nothing against him, I just don’t want you to go.” I begged and begged and begged, and he finally gave in he said “You know what, if you work in the garage with me for awhile instead of the cafe then I will let you go, but only if you’re in Leon’s car because he’s in the back, Letty does dangerous shit, and Jesse is in the front towards the side and Dom and I are directly in front of the truck, and usually the drivers have weapons. ” I was totally fine with riding with Leon for the obvious reasons, but even more fine with it because of what Vince just said. I asked if the garage was illegal too just to be a sarcastic asshole and he actually said “Technically. It’s a chop shop. We do illegal repossesions, we take parts for our cars and we sell other parts, and we also have some random customers, but they’re mostly from people in the street racing world. Civilians don’t like the name Toretto.” I said “Well, they sure like the cafe.” He said “Let me rephrase that. They don’t like the name Toretto when Dominic is in front of it. They don’t mind Mia.” Vince looked at me and said “By the way… They don’t like the name Scaletta either.” Then he smiled at me and started laughing. I was really pushing on this hijack topic because I was trying to grasp my mind around the fact that my family hijacks semi-trucks. I asked "How long have the hijacks been going on?” He said “Maybe about a year or so.” I said “And the guy who’s on the inside hasn’t been caught yet? Don’t you think they would assume one of their guys is being a traitor when all their shipments get fucked up?” Vince said “You really do think just like me don’t you?” He laughed and continued with “Don’t worry about it Lacey. It’s nothing you need to even worry about at all anyway, but we already got it covered.” I said “Well, other than that, you do realize that the longer this goes on, the FBI might get involved. They’re basically organzied heists.... Well, they are organized heists.” Vince sighed in a tone as if he knew I was right but just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet. He said “Alright, kiddo. Switch spots with me. It’s time to go home.” That night I saw that Leon was there and asked him if he told Vince about last night, and he said “No, I told you as far as I’m concerned last night didn’t even happen.” I asked “Well how did he find out?” He looked at me confused and said “He knows?” I said “Yeah, but he wasn’t even mad about it…. At all actually.” He said “Hmm, that’s strange but like I said Lacey anything you don’t want Vince or anyone to know I won’t say shit. I won’t even say shit to anyone about anything even if you don’t explicitly ask me to not tell anyone.” I said “But you’re like my brother’s right hand man….” He laughed and said “That doesn’t mean I have to inform him of every single thing that happens in my personal life.” I was extremely pleased that he implied I was apart of his personal life. The next day at school when I was going to lunch I saw Vince in the school office, I walked in and asked him what he was doing here he said “I’m granting permission for Dom, Letty, Mia, Jesse, and Leon to come pick you up from school in case anything ever happens and I’m not available to come get you.” I said “Okay, can you take me home now? I don’t want to be here anymore.” He laughed and said “I figured you’d say that. I was going to do that after this anyway since I’m here I might as well.”

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Dear Diary… A couple months have gone by again since I’ve last written in you. My birthday is tomorrow and I’ll be sixteen, I feel like there’s such a huge difference between sixteen and fifteen. Anything below fifteen is too young, but anything after fifteen is old enough (for most things anyway) but fifteen is just.. fifteen. There’s nothing special about fifteen, you’re neutral. You’re not too young but you’re not quite old enough. I feel like once I turn sixteen the rest of them will start treating me more like an adult and start trusting me more. I still haven’t gone to one of these “shipments” but all of them have been 'training’ me. It’s like criminal boot camp. Only I don’t really see it that way. My family has had cops on the inside. They’ve had made deals with cops that eventually led to their complete immunity to things in the past. If someone wearing a badge can be dirty, then we’re all dirty.We’re all just doing what we have to do to survive a cold world, right?. Ultimately this just proves that a badge doesn't make someone great, sometimes the ones with the badges are even worse than the ones without them.

Twenty or so minutes after I walk downstairs and lay on our porch hammock in the backyard and I start to daydream. I cant really look at the clouds because it’s an overcast day, it’s just one big grey cloud blanketed across the entire sky, but I don’t mind, overcast and rainy days are my favorite, and since we live in Los Angeles it hardly ever rains so I actually cherish the days that it does. Just when I thought I was alone, Leon comes out of nowhere and lays on the hammock next to me, but opposite direction, his head was where my feet were at. I said “Um, hi.” He said “What’s on the agenda for today?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Math? History? Science?” I said “To be honest, I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want to lay here.” He said “I’m right there with you.” If this were to happen months ago before he started tutoring me I would be freaking the fuck out, but I completely feel comfortable around him now, well not entirely, but much more than before and I really like the feeling of that. I said “Oh hey Leon…. Will you tell on me if I smoke this blunt?” He cocked his head up so fast to look at me and gave me this expression like did she really just say that?  He just started laughing though and said “I won’t say a damn thing…… if you share,” and then he winked at me. We smoked the whole blunt, we’re just high as a kite chilling on this hammock, we don’t really speak we just lay there next to each other. I didn’t mind though because when you can be around someone and be completely comfortable even though it’s silent that’s a beautiful thing. I don’t know what it is, but when you’re with someone and you can be silent without the awkward tension you can feel more vibrations between your energy and theirs. It’s like you can connect more with that person through silence rather than with verbal discussion.  I know it probably sounds like the marijuana talking through me right now but I always felt this way. I’m very spiritual and I used to meditate routinely, but lately I just sort of fell off the tracks. I guess that’s why I don’t see eye to eye with my family most of the time, like I love them, and I appreaciate them, and I love spending time with them. It’s just I feel that my thought process is more advanced than theirs. That probably sounds narcissistic, but it’s kind of true. I can usually see the bigger picture, or the greater good, and they can’t. Sometimes even when the greater good is transparent they're too loyal. Meaning that even when they know they're wrong they won't admit it. However, I’m not saying that they aren’t smart I just feel like I figure out solutions faster than they do most of the time. Most of their so called solutions end with violence and blood. Leon is a different story however. I feel a connection between him and I, despite how cliche that sounds it’s true. I just feel like he and I definitely see eye-to-eye. When I’m near him I feel very euphoric. After the high started to wear off Leon sits up and says, “Want to go get food?” I said “That’s a dumb question.” once we get in his car he said “Where do you wanna eat?” I said “I’m in the mood for some Japanese food..” He hesitated and said “The closest Jap restaurant is in Koreatown….. Ironically enough.” I said “Yeah…? And..?” He said “Oh shit, that’s right you don’t know anything about that.” He started to pull out from the driveway and I grabbed his wrist preventing him from turning the keys and said “Don’t know anything about what?” He said “Forget it, Lacey.” I said “You can’t just say shit like that and expect me to forget about it.” He sighed and said “Johny Tran.” I said “And…….. Who is that?” He said “Dominic’s enemy. He and Dom are the two power balls of the streets around here, especially in the street racing community. It’s basically his turf. Dominic’s crew stays away from his turf, and his crew stays away from our turf- Echo Park.” I said “I don’t understand I go to that Japanese place all the time.” He said “Their beef is with Dom and his crew, not Vince’s little sister.” I hesitated to respond because I don’t like being simply known as Vince’s little sister, I have a name of my own and I don’t want to live in his shadow. Unfortunately, however, Vince has already plastered a bad name for Scaletta. People who’ve heard of that name knows that anyone with it doensn’t come with remarkable behavior or outstanding citizenship. At least that’s what one of my teachers told me. She was Vince’s English teacher too. Anyways, I sucked it up and said “Wait so they know who I am?” I mean at least they know of me, right? Better than being completely non-existent like I thought I was. He said “Yep. Why do you think we lied to you? It wasn’t to keep you out of the loop, and it wasn’t because we didn’t trust you. We we’re protecting you.” I said “I don’t see how lying to me protected me at all, I’ve freely walked around Koreatown numerous times as if there was not a care in the fucking world.” He said “I was always watching you.” I said “Woah, wait, what the fuck?” He said “Not like that. Your brother, since I’m his right hand man as you say, assigned me to watch over you. He only asked me to because things have recently heated up between Dom and Tran a lot more than usual.” I just cotinued to glare at him and he said “Lacey I wasn’t stalking you, I only ever followed you to Koreatown when I heard you say something about going to Koreatown.” I said “So you weren’t always watching me?” He said “No.” He said it in a tone as if he really wanted to say you caught me. I said “So technically, I wasn’t always safe.” He said in the same tone “I guess not….. But you’re alive.” I said “Well, I still want Japanese food.” Leon gave me this look as if he really wanted to say “Are you serious?” But he just said “Fine, but we’re taking the train they’ll see my car from a mile away.” Once we get to the Japanese restaurant things seemed to go pretty smoothly other than the fact that Leon seemed to always be looking over his shoulder, literally and metaphorically. We shared an order of spring rolls and we each had our own sushi roll. I don’t even like fish though so I got the terryaki chicken roll and I was surprised to see that Leon walked over to the table with the same fucking thing, except his was the terryaki steak roll. Each roll comes with ten little sushi rolls so I gave Leon five of my terryaki chicken's for five of his terryaki steaks. It worked out perfectly. We got to talking and I dunk down in my side of the booth and asked him about his childhood. I probably shouldn’t have because I felt the mood go from really great to not-so-great in a matter of seconds. He said “Lacey…. I don’t really want to talk about my childhood, but if you really want to know more about the Leon that existed before I moved into your house two years ago I will say this; I’m a dirfter… Well, was a drifter and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that in every place I stopped at I probably stayed a maximum of three months in each place (I was actually aware of this, Mia told me) and each place I had a different name (but I did not know this information.) I never gave anyone my real name. (Or this.) In every place I established a network of.. “friends,” I liked to refer to them strictly as connections, but they kept trying to tell me that I was running from something, and they’re probably right, but to be honest I believe I was running to find something, and I don’t know exactly what I was looking for, all I know is that I think I found it.“ After he said that he just glared over at me and it made my body tingle, and I don’t know why. He continued to talk and said "When I happened to run into Dom and your brother two years ago I introduced myself with my actual name. That’s something I haven’t done since high school prior to them. So it felt weird, it didn’t even feel like that’s who I really was anymore. I had completely forgotten about Leon, the real me. I was just a kid when they found me though, I was hustling and I ended up hustling at Race Wars, making bets before I even knew that was an actual thing to do there amongst the crowd. Dom asked me if I was hungry and if I had a place to stay that night, I said yeah I was hungry but no I didn’t have a home…. Never really did, and then just like that they took me in…… like a lost fucking puppy…” I tried to sound reassuring and said “At least lost puppies that get taken in get a much better and happier life.” He was still looking down but I could see him smile. He looked up and said “That’s actually a really good way to look at it, Lacey.” I just smiled at him to conclude the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about anything negative anymore. It makes me happy to know that Dom and my brother took him in as family though. It’s not like they just select and recruit random people. Vince and Dom genuinely cared about Leon’s well-being. They welcomed him into our home with a home cooked meal. I remember that because I was there. The first night he arrived he was in dirty clothes that smelt like a community trash can, and his shoes had holes in them. He didn’t look homeless though, he was clean shaved, and his hair was washed and slicked back like it always is, he just looked… Poor. I remember peeping in on him when he thought he was alone that night, and he was crying. I was just a little girl compared to what I am now and I was curious about the stranger in my home. He doesn’t know I saw him cry though, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think I recall that night. I don’t plan on telling him that I do in fact remember every thing about that night. Same as when Jesse arrived. How could I forget the nights two very important people in my life came along? Jesse’s story is a bit different from Leon’s though. Dom and my brother found him running from a gang of people who jumped him. He ran into the garage yelling for help. Poor Jesse, he’s so small and fragile. You would never assume he was apart of this kind of life, but he wasn’t running from a gang of people who wanted him dead for no reason. To outsiders, Dom seems like the kind of person who is nothing but a thug, and that he has no ounce of compassion or feelings in general. However, he’s actually a very caring person. He’s literally mama bear to all of us. Or whatever you want to call it. We’re his family, and he is strongly over-protective. Dom is just highly misunderstood. He doesn’t like to open up, but the only reason I know the things that I do is because I grew up with him and his family. When Dom and Mia’s dad died, Dom claims it wasn’t an accident. He watched his dad perish in a burning car. He swears on everything of value to him that the car was tampered with because his dad never made a mistake. Years later when Dom was a young adult he found the guy he knew was responsible for his dad’s death and beat him with a pipe wrench so badly that he went blind in one eye, and facial reconstruction couldn’t even fix the guy’s face. That was Dom’s first serious offense, and he spent two years in prison for it. He says that he’ll die before he ever goes back. Dom says his passion for street racing is because of his dad. He says within those ten seconds or less, within that quarter mile…. He’s free.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

I’m just a kid who claims she’s indepedent and that I don’t need anyone to talk to, or help me, but the reality of that is in all honesty I’m dependent on everyone else in my household. I would literally be clueless without them. I don’t want to be that way, I try very hard to overcome that. I believe it mostly has to do with everything that I’ve been through, and I’m talking about since the beginning. My biological parents were very unfit parents. My mother was a junkie, Vince says she didn’t start using until a year or so after I was born. That makes me feel very unwanted, but Vince assures me that they were pieces of shit to him as well. My dad was an alcoholic and an abuser. He’d beat the living shit out of my mom and my brother for fun. My mom also provoked the fights though. Most of the time it was about money, according to Vince. Our dad’s paychecks didn’t support either of their habits or feed us. Vince was always the one taking care of me. He said that at ten years old he was changing my diapers because our parents either ignored my cries or were too intoxicated and fucked up to even hear them. Vince locked him and I in his room to protect us, mostly from our father. Vince told me one night he snuck out with me in his arms as just a little baby and he took me all the way to the Toretto house. Vince won’t admit it was because he was scared, he says it’s because he didn’t know what to do. Dom’s father always helped as much as he could but unfortunately to legal standards, we had to go home eventually. As I got little bit older my brother would always take the blame for things that I did wrong. I remember accidently knocking a cup over and splashed orange juice all over the floor and the glass broke. My mother watched it happen but she was too high to even be aware. Our dad comes in from the other room yelling and screaming. I was crying, and my dad got up in my face because he assumed I did it since I was crying so hard, but Vince jumped in and made sure I didn’t get hurt. That night Vince went to the hospital with a broken nose for something he didn’t even do. After that Dom’s father fought for legal rights of us. It was a long battle, but we eventually we’re taken in legally by Dom’s family. In the meantime however, the abuse didn’t stop. One night my mother asked me to do something for her. I was seven years old and I was excited because my mom never asked me to do anything. I was pretty sure at times she didn’t even know who I was. She asked me to wake her up early in the morning at 5:30 precisely. I made sure I stayed up the whole night, because I didn’t want to fuck up since this was the first thing my mom ever asked from me. I didn’t want to let her down basically. I didn’t tell Vince about it until after because I was sure he would talk me out of it. At 5:30 on the dot I snuck out of Vince’s room where he and I both slept. I stood on the chair he had in his room to reach the top locks on the door, and I went into my parent’s room. I woke my mom up and she was already dressed. She didn’t say a single word to me, not even a thank you. She went into her closet and grabbed a couple of bags and walked out the front door. I looked out the window and saw her get into a car, and I never saw her again after that. After it happened I cried and told Vince what happened. He was seventeen at the time, so he didn’t care too much about our mom leaving. The only thing that made him mad was that she tricked me into thinking she cared about me enough to get me to do something for her. I sobbed really hard and Vince held me and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I said “but daddy’s gonna be mad at me” and Vince said that he wasn’t going to let my dad hurt me. Later that morning when my dad found out my mom was gone Vince again took the blame for me. He got his ass kicked really badly. Every beating I deserved Vince took the blame for it. Vince got all the shit growing up and I got none of it. To this very day our childhood is not something we talk about. Ever since Dom’s father took us in our lives did a complete turn around. We weren’t afraid or uncomfortable in the house we were living in anymore. We finally had a place to call home and had it actually feel like a home. I still don’t know what ever happened to my mother, or father at this point. I have no idea if they’re even still alive, but I don’t even care.

CHAPTER NINE:

I woke up this morning with everyone in my room yelling “SURPRISE!” I was literally not expecting this, and certainly not expecting everyone to be standing in my room. At least I wasn’t sleeping naked like I normally do because that would’ve been embarrassing if I kicked the blanket off of me in the middle of the night. I see Leon holding a cake and he winked at me as if he was telepathically telling me “Since you got me a cake I got you one.” We do a lot of telepathic speaking come to think of it. They all handed me presents one by one, and when Vince gave me his he sat down next to me on the bed and said “Happy 16th birthday, kiddo. You know… My sixteenth birthday…. Sucked. All I ever wanted was a better life for you.” I just hugged him really tight. Dom said “We’re all going to pitch in to make you one hell of a breakfast so don’t fall back asleep.” Gradually everyone started to leave the room and Leon sat down next to me and said “I remember you said you don’t like cake so I got you a cookie cake, I figured that would be better.” I said “Yeah, I love cookies so..,” and smiled at him, then he pulled out a present from his pocket. He said “I know it isn’t big but sometimes smaller presents are usually the ones that cost more.” I said “The price tag means nothing to me Leon, it’s the thought that counts. I know that’s cliche to say, but it’s true.” I opened the box and it was a Pandora charm bracelet. It had a crescent moon, a sun, and all kinds of cute little things. I said “Holy shit, thank you Leon. You didn’t have to do this.” He said “Of course I didn’t have to…. I wanted to,” then he smiled and walked off. I literally sat there in shock because this whole morning started off really bizarre, I went to bed last night not expecting to even get a single present. They didn’t shower me with gifts and a big fancy breakfast last year. It was just a casual dinner at Applebee’s. I walked downstairs and they even let me have champagne and orange juice. I think I’m already starting to like the feeling of being sixteen. Later that night I overhear them talking about going on another run. Of course, I was interested, so I listened. I heard Leon say “This isn’t going to be a casual run though. We’re just going to the warehouse.” I didn’t know what was said before that because I had just began to eavesdrop. Dom said “I know, I want you and Vince to cover the back. Jesse you keep a look out in the front. I’ll handle the business.” Mia was out with Letty, I don’t know what they were doing but they took Letty’s car, which means Mia’s is out front.  I have no idea where this bright idea came from, but I decided to follow. I remembered everything Vince told me when he took me out driving. I began to follow them, and it was such a long drive. Took about fourty-five minutes to get to the warehouse, I followed behind but tried to stay as far away as possible, especially when we got to those long California roads that nobody seems to be on at the same time you are. I see them pull onto a lengthy dirt road that led to the location. I parked Mia’s car on the side of the road and began to walk. I remember Dom saying he wanted Jesse out front, so I dipped off to the side a little bit. There were plenty of trees to prevent me from being seen. I made it pass Jesse, and now I’m on the side of the warehouse. There’s a huge painter’s bucket that’s just big enough for me to stand on and inch my eyes up to the window to peak in. I see Dom talking to two asian guys. I heard him call him Johny. This must be the Johny Tran that Leon told me about. I was trying to see what they were doing, but I was too short to see everything. I tried to stand more on my tippy-toes but I slipped off the bucket and fell. It was pretty noisy, so I jumped up stood back on the bucket and checked the window to see if they heard it, but thank god they didn’t. I jump off the bucket and start heading back to the car, because that was too close of a call and I began to walk backwards to make sure no one was coming from the back, but I bumped into someone. They covered my mouth to prevent anyone from hearing my screams. I thought this was it, I thought this was the moment that I die. I kicked and tried to fight as best as I could. I felt my heart flutter and thump in my chest like a bass drum. Then all of the sudden I get turned around and pushed up against the wall and it’s Leon holding his finger by his mouth indicating for me to be quiet. He gradually took his hand away from my mouth when he felt my breathing ease up. I tried to run away like I did before on the night of the race, but Leon grabbed my arm and pushed me back up against the wall. It was pretty hard, and my head bounced off. I pushed him back and I snapped and said “Don’t fucking touch me like that ever again.” He grabbed my head and whispered “Shhhh. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He grabbed my face in a gentle way and hugged me, and said “I didn’t mean to do it that hard, but goddamnit Lacey what the fuck are you doing here?” I said “I have no excuse, just please don’t tell Vince.” He said “Jesus Christ, Lacey. You can’t be doing this every time and expect me to save you and cover for you. What if that wasn’t me you ran into? What if it wasn’t one of us and it was one them? Do you think you would still be alive right now!? Probably not!” I just looked down and started to cry. I want more than anything to be one of them but I guess I'm just not ready to handle it. He grabbed my chin and wiped my tears and continued and said “How did you even get here?” I said “I took Mia’s car.” Leon just heavily sighed and said “Go home, Lacey.” I said “Are you going to tell?” He turned around and said “No….. But if this happens again I will, Lacey. I’ll have to for your own good. Now, just go home, and don’t be seen! if you get caught we didn't just have this conversation.” Then he ran off towards the back of the warehouse. I got home before Letty and Mia did thankfully. I definitely would’ve gotten in trouble if Mia got home and found her car gone, but with Leon covering for me I can make up a lie and say I just went to a friend’s house or something, and I would get into way less trouble, but thankfully no lies needed to be said, at least on my part. I ran upstairs to my room, and didn’t come back out. I stayed up all night, I could hear their cars pull into the driveway. I turn over to look at the clock, and it’s 6:42 AM. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. Fifteen minutes go by and I hear a slight knock at my door. It was loud enough to get my attention, I don’t know if I would’ve heard it though if I had actually been asleep though. I was confused as hell and I pondered the thought of actually opening it but I guess I took too long because when I finally made the decision and cracked the door open nobody was there.

CHAPTER TEN:

I walk downstairs the next morning, I was supposed to be in school, but I obviously wasn’t going considering the fact that by the time I even fell asleep school had already started. I slowly walk down the stairs to see if I hear anyone talking and the house was dead silent. It was 10:00AM and I’m guessing the rest of them are still sleeping. I walk into the kitchen and nearly almost run into Vince and I jumped so hard, I thought my heart stopped. He says “Why are you so jumpy, and why didn’t you go to school?” I said “Why aren’t you asleep?” He just gave me a puzzled look and asked “Why would I be asleep?” He asked, and I said “I heard you guys pull in at like 6:30.” He said “Oh….. Well…. I slept for a few hours. Now answer my question.” I said “I didn’t feel like going.” He said “Okay,” and started to walk off. I said “That’s it? "Okay.” You’re not going to yell at me? Ask me why I didn’t feel like going? Nothing?“ He said "Why would I yell at you? I just asked you why you weren’t at school. You answered my question and that’s all I wanted.” He starts to walk off and turns back around and said “Oh, Lacey…. Dom and I are going to begin construction down here in the house. We’re going to build the princess Leon his own room so he can quit bitching about sharing one with me and bitching about his roommates at his other house. Anyways, it’s going to be pretty noisy so you might want to get some sleep now while you can.” I said “How did you know I haven’t really slept?” He said “…I didn’t… Until now.” Then he starts to walk off again and I stopped him and said “Hey Vince… Did you knock on my door this morning?” Vince looks extremely puzzled and said “No. Why would I do that?” I played it off and said “I must’ve heard your door close or something I don’t know.” He said “Alright.” Then walks away and goes back to his room with a bowl of cereal. I walk around the rest of the house and then walk into the living room. I see Leon sleeping on the couch. I slowly walk over to him but then quickly walk away thinking to myself what the hell am I doing? How do I even know it was him who knocked on my door? Wait who else could it have been? A few hours later around noon I decide to sit outside on the hammock. It’s such a beautiful, breezy day. I feel at peace and then suddenly the backdoor opens and it’s Leon. I jump up and start to walk off and he grabbed my arm, but then quickly took his hand back as if he's the one traumatized by grabbing me like that last night and he said “You know you don’t have to run from me.” I said “I know…..” He also said “I’m also really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to be so rough.” I said “…..I know…” He felt my head and felt a knot on it and said “Jesus Christ,” and then sighed really heavily. I said “It’s okay… Really… I’m not upset about it, I shouldn’t have been there in the first place, and I know you didn’t mean to do it.” He said “No. It's not alright. It's never alright under any circumstances for a guy to treat a girl like that. Don't justify it Lacey. I fucked up and I feel like shit. I would kill anyone who puts on a knot on your head and here I am giving you one.” I paused a moment and thought about what he just said it made me feel so loved and cared about that I nearly started crying, but in a joyous way. I look up at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He said “Anyways……. I could go for a haircut. If you're feeling up to it, that is.” Then looked at me with a smirk. I said “Okay…. But you owe me.” He said “Okay, what do I owe you? I said  ”….. I don’t know yet…. I mean…  I know, but I don’t want to talk about it yet.“ He looked a little confused but chuckled and said "Alright Lacey..” I ran back downstairs with the trimmers and scissors. He was already sitting in a porch chair outside. I plugged the trimmers into the outside outlet and said “They aren’t going to reach bring the chair back a little bit.” He did, and I proceeded. He said “Just do it exactly like the last time, and don’t take too much off, I like this style, just clean it up a little bit.” The feeling of touching his neck and running my fingers through his hair made me feel really…. Tingly. I wouldn’t know how else to describe it. He started talking and he said “So Lacey….. Remember when you came over to my house on my birthday?” I said yeah in such a tone as if I didn’t know where he was headed with this because I truly didn’t. He said “You left your backpack there. I forgot to tell you, I know it’s been two months since then, but the thought just kept slipping my mind, and you haven’t said anything about it, but then after what I found inside I figured I wouldn’t say anythig until you brought it up…. But you never did.” I started thinking to myself by saying shit that’s where I left it. I asked “You went through my bag…?” He said “No it was unzipped all I did was pick it up and you know what fell out.” I didn’t say anything and he continued and asked “So how long have you been dealing?” I said “Since August when school started.” He asked “Where are you getting all that weed from? I hope you’re not pushing for someone.” I said “I’m not. It’s my weed. I buy it, and charge more than what I bought it for.” He said “That’s a little fucked up.” I said “I know, but I don’t care. The preppy kids at my school don’t know how much a G costs anyway. They’ll pay whatever price I make up.” He said “Well then… Good. Finesse that shit.” I said “You’re not going to yell at me or something?” He said “No of course not. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Then he reached in his pockets and pulled out a fat stack of cash wrapped in my pink hair tie that I’ve also been looking for and said “You probably want this back.” I just sighed and blankly stared into his eyes and he said “Hey… As long as you’re not getting yourself into trouble I don’t care.” Then he said “Oh and what was the favor you wanted?” I started to laugh and said “Never mind.” He said “Nah what is it?” I said “I was just going to ask you to pretend to be my guardian or whatever for a piercing I want.” He said “Okay, that’s literally a piece of cake.” I said “But you’re probably not going to do it when I tell you the piercing that I want.” Then he said “Lacey…. If you say you want a clit ring I’m going to walk away and pretend like I never had this conversation.” I started laughing and said “No!! I want….” I was hesitant about it but continued and said “My nipples pierced…” He just blankly stared at me and said “Why?” I said “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pictures of nipple piercings and they look… Pretty…Cool.” He pondered the decision and said “Alright, I know a guy that did my tatts…. He’ll hook you up for half the price.” He started to walk away and I said “Leon….” He turned around and I said “Thank you..” He chuckled and “Yeah no problem.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

The next day Leon takes me to Downtown, LA. We live so close but never actually go here often. He took me to a tatt shop, and I was honestly nervous. I already have a tattoo that’s on my chest below my boobs, but nobody knows that except for me, and this one boy I dated when I was fifteen. He kind of took my virginity. Well he did, but as soon as he pooped my cherry he took it out and said gross, even though I literally told him I was a virgin and he was expecting it. Haven’t had any sexual contact since other than with myself. Anyways, I feel nervous maybe because of the fact that a needle is going to go through my nipple…. Twice. I told Leon “I’m nervous. Will you come back there with me?” He said “Lacey… Ummm…. Okay.” We got back there and Leon greeted the guy and called him Dave. He said “This is Lacey.” I just smiled real nervously and Dave asked “How old are you Lacey?” I look over to Leon and he gave me this reassuring nod as if it was all right to tell the truth. I said “I’m sixteen.” Leon said “Yeah so can you like cover her titts up, because she wants me to hold her hand.” I actually never asked him to hold my hand but I would appreciate it. Dave said “Yeah man sure, I’ll get what I use to cover genitals when I’m doing tattoos in that area.” He comes back with this paper towel type thing that felt like the thing dentists put around you to keep your clothes from getting ruined with your saliva and toothpaste. Leon turned around and I took my shirt off. Dave said “Wow, that’s a really nice tattoo.” I hesitated and said “Thanks…..” Dave put the cover over me and said “Leon, I’ll need you to hold it up so I can do the piercing, but this should do the job.” Leon held up the cover so Dave can pierce my titts with his left hand, and held my hand with his right, and stood behind my head. All I remember after that was clinching my teeth together and squeezing the shit out of Leon’s hand and I even bit on Leon's hand a little bit to prevent myself from screeching, but he didn't say anything or move his hand away so I'm guessing he didn't care about my impulsive decision. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes though. As we’re leaving I’m moving pretty slow because the shirt feels like it’s rubbing against my nipples in every way it can. I look down and my nipples are still rock hard and poking through my halter top. I thought to myself that maybe today was a bad day not to wear a bra, but then again wearing a bra might make this feeling worse. We get in the car and Leon says “Sooooooo….. You have a tattoo?” I said “Ummmm…. Yeah….. About that..” He cut me off and said “I don’t want to know… Actually, all I want to know is how old were you and where did you get it?” I said “I was fifteen. Chandler’s brother is a tattoo artist…….. and it’s on my chest… under my boobs.” Leon said “Alrighty then…. I actually meant what shop or whatever… But alright.” He kind of looked like he was blushing a bit and it made me smile and blush also. We get to the house and Leon said “You might want to wear a jacket by the way.” I cross my arms over my titts and started laughing a little bit. At this point I knew I could trust Leon with anything. We walk in and I head upstairs to go change right away and I put a baggy sweater on and some leggings. Then I walk back down stairs in time for dinner. Everyone was pretty much quiet for the most part so dinner wasn’t really exciting, but I’m content because of how close Leon and I have become. I made eye contact with him and he started smiling, but it was kind of like he’s still  blushing. At least that’s the way I remember it, or would like to remember it at least.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Dear Diary, It seems that I only write in you when months go by. It almost seems that’s how long it takes for me to think of something to write or have anything interesting to even write about. However, Leon has given me a much more interesting life lately so I should honestly be writing more. Anyways, Leon and I have become really great… friends. I can trust him with literally anything and it makes me so happy. I think I’m falling for him in ways that are indescriable. It kind of scares me how badly I am infatuated with him. I think I used to hide it pretty well, but now I’m not so sure, but at the same time I kind of don’t care if he did find out, but at the same time I do. It’s complicated. What if he finds out and completely rejects it and we lose the bond we have now? But what if he does find out and feels the same way and we can make our bond even stronger? I’ve also gotten more invovled in these “runs” my family consistently goes on, well I haven’t exactly been invited I just sneak. The first time was a street race that I wasn’t supposed to be at either. The second time was a bit more serious. They met at a sedcluded location and it looked like some kind of deal was going on. Leon caught me both times though, but he had his gun armed the second time and it was a bit more serious that I was there. Leon never told anyone though.That’s why I know I can trust him.

Today is Valentine’s Day and all day today at school I see these dumb ass kids with their gigantic teddy bears and boxes of chocolates. It was like parading your relationship around was the coolest fucking thing to do. When are these kids going to grow up and realize it’s not always about material items all the time? I don’t know but either way, it disgusts me. School quickly turned into a night club with kids practically dry humping each other in the courtyard all because of an overrated holiday. I personally think that if your relationship was actually solid any day should feel like Valentine’s Day. There shouldn’t be a designated day to show you love your significat other, that should literally be like every day. My point is that why on a particular day do you feel the need to spoil your loved one with materialistic items when love shouldn't be founded or grown from such things. You also shouldn’t be the person to ever expect expensive things to just be handed to you. Valentine's day really is just a day they mark up the prices on stupid, meaningless cards and candy. I’ve been often told that I’m an “old soul” I guess that’s why it’s so hard for me to relate and get along with people my age. I see the things and trends that people my age do, and I find it revolting. I relate to people who are much older than me so it’s hard to make friends, because not too many twenty-plus year olds want to hang out with a sixteen year old. I mean I can’t legally drink or get into night clubs so what would we even do? Watch movies? I guess that’s why I’ve come to find myself happier when I’m alone, but no matter how much someone tries to convince themselves and other people that they’re a “lone wolf” and independent, they need someone from time and time again. Most lone wolves act as if they never cared about anyone ever, but the truth is, they’ve lost that one person they cared about, so they figure being alone is better than to ever have to go through that feeling again. However, from my prespective I see it as not wanting to lose those people I care deeply about, so I keep my distance to prevent that from happening. It’s basically a paradox, but I can tend to be a little contradicting at times. As I’m casually walking and drifting in and out of reality and being consumed by my thoughts and fantasies like usual this preppy jocky dude grabs my arm really hard and turns me around I said “What the fuck is your problem man?” He said “I heard about you..” As I was trying to decipher what this could even possibly mean I said “Congratu-fucking-lations. Let me go.” This could really translate to anything. He probably heard a nasty rumor. He said “I know about your family.” This response startled me a bit because I don’t really even know about my own fucking family, so what could he or anyone else possibly fucking know? He said “I don’t want any problems, I just know you sell weed. I mentioned your family because everyone knows they’re up to illegal shit just nobody knows what… You obviously do so..” I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about nor do I see what that has to do with anything.” He said “Look, I don’t know where else to buy weed from and I promised this college girl that I would have some, I just need someone who wouldn’t say anything. This could mess up my football scholarships and my relationship.” I pondered the decision and then realized this man’s life, his scholarships, and relationship is seriously not my problem whether he got caught or not, but then I also thought that he's the type to get caught and only get a slap on the wrist if he ratted out who gave him the weed, and I'm nobody to him so he would have no problem doing so without hesitation. While I was thinking about whether or not I actually wanted to sell to this kid he said "Look. You won't get into trouble, I have a lot to lose such as my football scholarship. I won't get caught I'll be careful and even if I do get caught I have rich parents who are friends with a DA and some pretty high-up-there people. It'll be swept under the rug and nobody would know where the weed even came from." I sighed and said “Fine…. How much you need?” He said “A ground.” I said “Excuse me? Do you mean gram?” Where the fuck did he hear ground from? He said “Whatever it’s called.” I said “Okay…. fourty bucks.” He said “Alright no problem. Do you have change? I only have a fifty.” I said "I'm a drug dealer, not a cash register." He handed me the cash, which was actually ten more dollars than I had even originally asked for, and I handed him a fat nic sack, but he clearly doesn’t know the difference. I was laughing to myself thinking How can someone be this stupid? A gram isn’t even fourty dollars, it’s not even twenty dollars, and I didn’t even give him a gram. I gave him a nic sack that's only actually worth five bucks. I should feel really bad and petty but these dumb arrogant rich kids shouldn't be smoking weed if they have no fucking clue about the terminology, prices, and size. The fact that it was too easy to scam them was hilarious and not my problem, but rather my profit. Anyone like me could just tell by simply eyeballing the nic sack that it certainly wasn't a gram nor anywhere close to fourty dollars. I know what you're thinking; I should probably be more careful and profit more reasonable prices. However, I choose my clientele selectively and appropiately. If someone is buying from me and I know they would call me out on my shit even if I said it was worth five more dollars than what it actually was I wouldn't bullshit. You'd think that would get me caught and I'd lose customers, but like I said, I go to a school that's filled with a bunch of preppy rich kids who don't even know what they're doing when it comes to buying weed, and the small handful of kids like me at this school don't run their mouth about things like this because like me, they know running your mouth can get you into trouble. A few moments later as I’m walking down the road after the last bell of the day rang I see a familiar car. Unfortunately it wasn’t Leon it was Vince. He said “Get in.” We went an opposite direction than home so I said “Where are we going?” He said “No where special. I just have to go pick up something. Thought I would pick you up on the way.” The conversation stopped for awhile. Vince pulls up in front of a house, and I had to double-look to realize that it was the house of my fucking weed dealer. I started panicking but on the outside I probably still looked sleepy and normal even though I could feel my heart pound rapidly against my chest. My dealer walks outside and starts walking up to the car and at this point I think I’m literally having a panic attack I start looking for a way to escape this situation, but that’s obviously impossible so I just brace myself for whatever the fuck is about to happen. He shakes Vince’s hand and hands Vince some weed while Vince hands him the money in one handshake. That was the transaction handshake. The dealer looks over at me and then back at Vince and he asked “How do you know Lacey?” Vince looked at me and back at the dealer and said “How the fuck do you know Lacey?” I just sink down in my seat and start thinking to myself shit here we go. The dealer answers and said “I deal to her all the time.” Vince looks at me but replies to him and said “Oh really?” I start looking out the window because eye contact with Vince is the last thing I want to encounter right now. Vince’s looks could literally kill. When he started to drive off he didn’t say anything. I made sure I looked out the window the whole ride home. Once we pulled in the driveway I immediately went for the door but Vince grabbed my hand and said “You’re not going anywhere until we talk about this.” I started thinking to myself this is why I like Leon better. He doesn’t force me to talk about anything. I said “I buy weed, who cares? Can I go now?” He said “No. Why do you buy weed?” I said “Oh gee, Vince I wonder what I could possibly be doing with weed.. Hmmmmm… Baking?? Yeah baking delicious brownies for the drama class.” He clearly didn’t appreciate the sarcasm because his face seemed to get bright red with anger. I wasn't even being sarcastic to be a bitch, sarcasm was just my instinctual defense mechanism. Vince never gets angry with me so I said “Vince… I smoke weed okay….. You do it… Everyone else in the house does it… It’s not that big of a deal.” He said “I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.” I said “Well damn Vince what about all the secrets you’re keeping from me?” The tears in my eyes started forming and his eyes settled and he sighed deeply. I didn't even mean to ask this, it just slipped off my tongue. They're not joking when they say bottling things up inside is dangerous. Vince looked at me with bewilderment, slight anger, and frustration and said “The secrets I keep from you are for your own good.” I said “Yeah and the secrets I keep from you are for my own good too.” Vince said “Lacey… I never yell at you. I never get mad at you…. So why do you feel the need to keep things from me?” I said “Vince…. You don’t even understand what goes on in my head, and I don’t even know how to even begin to explain what goes on in my head, but even if I did I couldn’t tell you, because you’re never even around long enough for me to begin.” Vince said “What are you talking about?” I said “I know we’re fucking criminals, Vince! I'm not stupid. Even kids at school know about you guys. Probably a lot more than I even fucking do. We street race, we do mysterious illicit deals in random warehouses in the middle of nowhere, god knows what else the fuck we do yet you’re jumping on my case because of some fucking weed and some secrets? Fuck you Vince.” My heart sank to the floor when I realized I just ratted myself out about sneaking around that night of the warehouse incident. Thank God I didn't throw Leon under the bus, he would never trust me again. He didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t leave the car. Part of me really wanted to leave from the car but the other part of me just felt too emotionally and physically unstable to even move. I was also a little scared to move at this point. I just wanted to lay down and cry where I was sitting. Vince said “How the hell do you know about the warehouse?” I said “Goddamnit Vince… I followed you, okay? I don’t care if you get mad about it, but I am sorry. I’m not a little girl anymore. I understand now, I’m not dumb. You can’t just keep feeding me this bullshit and expect to tell you everything when I don’t even know who you are anymore Vince… Any of you at that. What were YOU doing at sixteen, Vince? Tell me that. I bet it’s worse than anything I’ve ever fucking done, yet you want to sit here and lecture me about keeping secrets and smoking weed?” Vince said “Alright. I think it’s time.” I just gave him this puzzled ass look and he said “Go inside and wait for me in the dining room.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Vince seemed a little pissed off so I did exactly what he said and I sat and waited in the dining room. My stomach was all in knots and my heart was pounding. I had no idea what to prepare for. Vince walks in the dining room and literally everyone was with him, even Leon. Dom is the first one to speak and he said “So Lacey….. Vince told me you know about what we do. Well, at least the tip of the iceberg.” Everyone seemed so calm, yet I basically just called them out on their "top secret" bullshit. I just sat in my chair with my legs and arms crossed and I tried to avoid eye contact by looking down at my boring all black shoes. I felt like this was going to be an attack even though the approach was light. Dom grabbed my chin to advert my attention to his eyes and said “No one is mad at you. We all knew this day would come. We just want you to be prepared for all the shit it comes with instead of sneaking around. You could get yourself…. Well... Killed for doing that shit.” I got your typical family-like lecture that lasted what seemed like an hour, the only difference is that normal families don’t lecture their teenagers for sneakig around and overseeing their illicit activites. A couple weeks go by and I still stayed on the outside with the exception of some of the minor details Leon would share with me, but even those I had to beg for especially now after seeing how I spilled the beans on the warehouse incident and could've potentionally gotten him in trouble. Honestly, if I were them I would kind of be embarassed at the fact that a sixteen girl is calling them out on their bullshit, and they thought they were so sneaky. Or have they not really been trying to sneak, and that I've only just now started to become more observant and ballsy? Whatever the case may be a sixteen year old high school girl still called them out on their bullshit. The next morning at school a girl that I have been getting rather close with asks me if I wanted to ditch school with her and hangout. Of course I agreed to it, because why wouldn’t I? I hate school anyway, and I needed some friends, I suppose. I met this girl a few months ago in class, she transferred from a school in Sacramento. She’s kind of tall, kind of thick, but the good kind, with long brown curly hair, that matched her brown eyes. Her name is Jackie, short for Jaqueline, and she was a lot like me. She was down to earth, open-minded, and chill. The only difference was that she could make friends easily. She had the whole school in the palm of her hand within weeks. It’s not that I was shy, it’s that I don’t trust people. I still don’t fully trust her. I can hang out with people for months, years even, and still not fully trust them. I guess that’s an expected trait with the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to. It’s just how I am. I’m always mentally prepared to be stabbed in the back. It makes it much easier to deal with when it actually happens, and you don’t get as hurt. I rather have one good friend than a lot and not know who is secretly my enemy. I expected her to have invited a lot of her other friends to come as well, but it was just me and her. I asked her where we were going and she said “Over to a friend of mine’s house. He has weed.” I said “I have weed….” She looked at me and said “I know, but….. he has…. other stuff too.” I said “Ohhh…. I didn’t know you were into anything hardcore.” She said “Xanax isn’t that hardcore.” She brushed it off as if that was such a normal thing to say. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start an argument, but pretty much anything outside of alcohol and marijuana was beyond my element. I’ve done other drugs a few times, but it never became a habit. I also thought about the severity of selling anything higher than weed. You deal with turf when it comes to that shit, and the Mexicans run this area. Which makes sense that Jackie has connects in this area, because she is Mexican. We finally get to the house, and it’s a torn down piece of shit in the middle of a pretty sketchy neighborhood. Jackie and I are the whitest people on the entire block, even though she is half Mexican. She has the accent though, so if she were to speak she would instantly blend in leaving me the sore thumb. She proceeded up to a house that had bars on the windows and some of them were boarded up. Even the screen door had bars on it. Some sketchy guy came to the door and opened it and talked through the screen door and said “Who’s she?” Jackie said “She’s my friend, it’s cool.” He didn’t say anything else after that and he just stared at me for awhile, I stared back with a pretty fierce look, mostly because I was irritated but also because I was out of my comfort zone, but on the inside I was a little nervous because I hate willingly putting myself into sketchy situations, but I'm already in too deep to escape now. I sit down on the couch next to Jackie, I look around and observe my surroundings, and find any possible exits, just in case. Just part of my nature. The coffee table was filled with cigarette ashes, food, and cocaine, various pills, weed, other random drugs, and a pistol. Next to the door, right by where I was sitting was a wooden baseball bat which is only a good weapon if you have upper body strength, which I seriously lack. Some dude who didn’t say a word was breaking up a nug of weed and watching a shitty box TV with in-and-out picture quality. Which I found pretty odd. All that drug money, but you can’t afford a better television with greater reception? Jackie got her Xanax and I figured we could leave now, so I stood up, and the guy who opened the door said “Where you going?” I said “I thought we were leaving now,” and then I looked back at Jackie, and she said “It’s okay Lacey, we can chill for a little while.” I thought about getting my phone out and calling Leon, but as soon as I reached in my backpack to grab my phone the guy said “What you doing reaching in your bag for?” I hesitated to answer, and grabbed my water bottle and said “I’m just getting my water.” I started panicking because if I get my phone out and call Leon they’ll probably think I’m calling the cops and they’ll kill me. I mean, if I were them I would assume the same thing. The guy who was watching TV started feeling up Jackie’s legs and up her skirt. She didn’t stop him and he said “Wanna bump?” She said “Sure,” and smiled flirtatiously. Then they each did a line of cocaine that was sitting on the coffee table for god knows how long. Even though anything outside the world of marijuana and alcohol was considered extreme to me, I could handle the Xanax, but now she's doing cocaine? I need to get out of this situation, but how? I started thinking to myself great I befriended a junkie whore who got me into a sketchy situation. After she did a line she said “Lacey, come to the bathroom with me.” We proceeded to walk to the bathroom and the two guys stared at us, there was more guys in a room towards the back who shut the door as we walked by. We walk into the bathroom and Jackie shuts the door and I say “Jackie we need to get the fuck out of here.” She said “No, I’m having fun.” I said “Why the fuck did you want me to come in here with you then?” She said “To take selfies with me.” I said “Are you fucking kidding me? Selfies? Sorry Jackie but I’m fucking leaving, and I don’t care if you come with me or not.” She said “You need to calm down Lacey, those guys out there don’t trust you.” I said “They don’t trust me? Bitch, I don’t trust them! They're the sketchy douche bags with shitty TV reception, and an extension cord running from the neighbor's house just so they could have power.” Jackie said “Okay, okay, okay. Just give me five more minutes to pinch some more xannies from Miguel alright. If I let him feel up on me a little bit he’ll give me more than the cost.” I rolled my eyes, and said “Fine, but after this Jackie I’m fucking done.” She said “Sorry, I’ll never take you here again.” I said “No Jackie, I’m fucking done with you, I can't stand people who act like you in sketchy situations. You're so unalert and careless, and that's dangerous.” I proceeded to walk out of the bathroom without her. She sat down next to me on the couch and gave me a dirty look, and then started flirting with Miguel. The other one not named Miguel asked me if I was thirsty, and I said “No thanks, I have my water.” He said “I don’t see you drinking it.” So I did to get him to stop talking to me and to prevent him from offering me anything and preventing me from having to say no to his offer which could end badly. Fifteen minutes later I started feeling light-headed. I immediately knew something was wrong and that they drugged me. I stood up immediately and ran for the door, but one of the guys grabs me and puts his hand over my mouth, and after that I blacked out. I faintly remember some details from fading in and out of conciousness. I remember a group of guys raping Jackie who was unconcious. I felt my pussy to see if I too had been raped. I didn’t see any blood, and I didn’t feel wet. I blacked back out, then woke up again in an alley behind a 7/11 in Koreatown, and it was pitch black outside. I didn’t have my phone, and I didn’t have my backpack. I started freaking out and crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to call the police from a payphone, or call Leon. I had blood all over my clothes and my shirt was all ripped up. I remember seeing what they did to Jackie and thought to myself that I was just gangbanged. I also came to the realization that if I wanted to call Leon from a payphone I would need money and I literally had nothing except for the torn clothes on my back. I ran to the first place I knew I would feel safe– Leon’s house. Any normal person would call the police, but I don't have a normal life, I have this one. I climb up the hill Leon’s house sits on, the side of the house slopes down to the street, and because of the effects of the drugs that I'm still mildly exerperiencing, the little hill felt steeper, and taller than it actually was. I bang on his window loud hoping he was actually there, I see the blinds go up fast and Leon pointed a gun and lowered it fast when he realized it was me said “Jesus Christ, Lacey,” loud enough for me to hear it through the window, then he opens the window and pushes the screen out, then gets a real good look at me and his jaw dropped, I started sobbing, panting and barely getting a word out, and he said “Holy shit.” Then he pulled me up through the window as fast as he could, I didn't have the strength to pull myself up, and we fell to the ground. I didn’t let go of him we just kind of sat there holding each other. “Lacey, baby, I need you to tell me what happened.” He said and I said “I’m still trying to remember what even happened.” He said “Lacey, baby, I need you to breathe, calm down, and think!” I tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. Leon grabbed a water bottle from the night stand next to his bed and held it nearly like a baby bottle for me to drink, because I apparentally looked too incapable to do it myself which means I must look more terrible than I feel and that wasn't a great thing to think about seeing how I can't remember what even happened to me. After I caught my breath I started to explain every detail I faintly remembered through my panting. I could see Leon’s face grow pale as I explain all of this, but then after I finished all I could recollect I see his face grow red with anger. I’ve seen Leon upset before, but I’ve never seen him this vexed. He literally punched a hole in his wall, and then pulled himself together again and kneeled back down on the ground next to me and grabbed my face gently and said “Lacey I need you to to remember where this happened. These mother fuckers aren’t going to get away with this.” I started panting and freaking out again and said “Leon I can’t. I don’t remember.” I start sobbing and panting and repeating “I can’t remember” over and over. Leon eventually held me again and didn’t say anything this time, he just held me tightly and didn’t let go. Twenty minutes went by and I calmed down a lot more than what I was, but I was still obviously shaken up, and Leon said “I just remembered something.” Then stood up and made a phone call. After the call had ended he said “A buddy of mine has a wife who’s a doctor. She does a lot of… Uh….. Off duty type of work for my buddy and his friends. They’re thankfully in the area.. Kind of, and I asked my friend to ask his wife to come check you out.” When the doctor showed up I was still in the same position on the floor and the doctor kneeled down next to me and touched my shoulder and said “Hi Lacey, I’m Tara. I need you to do a few things for me, okay?” I just looked at her through my tears and nodded my head and she continued with “Good, I need you to take your skirt and underwear off, and lay on the bed.” Leon interrupted and said “Should I leave?” I frantically looked at him and said “No, please don’t!” Tara said “Leon, can you get me a clean towel and lay it down on your bed so Lacey can lay on it?” Leon came back with the towel and said “I think I should leave Lacey, I don’t think it’d be appropiate if I.. Uh… Saw….” Tara interrupted him and said “You won’t see anything Leon, I have something to cover everything from your prespective, I’m sure she’d like you to hold her hand.” I immediately shook my head yes, because Leon was literally my safety net.  Leon said “Alright.” Then sat on the bed behind my head reched for my left hand and held it up to his mouth kissed it then rested it on his chin. Tara began her examination and said “I have wonderful news Lacey. You weren’t raped. Whoever drugged you definitely planned on doing so, but you fought back, and clearly won.” I asked “What does that mean? Did I kill someone!?” I know she's a professional, but she responded a little too calm to a question like that and explained “You’re not covered in enough blood for it to have been a homicide but you don’t have any wounds deep enough to have that much blood on your shirt so it’s definitely not yours. Also I’ve noticed that you have skin under your fingernails so you definitely clawed at them. Judging by the blood on your shirt and the fingernails I say you roughed them up pretty good.” I asked “But I woke up in a random alley. They must’ve put me there.” Tara said “Or you just don’t remember what happened because of the drugs. You probably got away and ran, until the drugs blacked you out again, and then passed out in the alley. You have no vaginal tears or even signs of intercourse at all. When a girl is sexually assaulted she's usually drier than the Sahara desert which causes severe vaginal tears from the force implemented by the attacker.” Leon said “So she’s…. Okay?” Tara nodded with such reassurance and said “Yes! She’s perfectly fine other than the trauma, bruises, and scratches.” Leon looked at me, and smurked a thankful smile. Tara went to her bag and pulled out some unmarked scripts and said “Here’s some medication.” She marked each bottle with a different letter and said “This one is for relaxation because of the trauma. It's like Xanax but a lot more mild." I though to myself What are the fucking odds? Xanax is what got me into this mess in the first place. She continued and said "...And this one is for headchaes, it’s called firocet it’s for severe migraines. I recommended not taking anything until tomorrow afternoon. You wouldn’t want to mix this with whatever they drugged you with. From professional experience I’d say it was probably roofies, or some generic form, due to your loss of memory. You should be fine after a good night’s sleep.” Something about Tara was so ironic. She was soft spoken, reassuring, calm, and her vibe was peaceful. Yet, at the same time she’s basically a mob doctor. I’m not dumb. I figured it out right away when Leon said “off duty” work and I thought to myself how did someone like this who clearly wasn’t raised in this life become apart of this life? How did she end up marrying someone apart of this life? How did it all work out for her? It all seemed too weird to me, but at the same time, I was envious. She has the best of both worlds. I’m sure she has a lot of friends and connections on both sides of the law. After Tara took my urine for some various tests she proceeded to pack up. Leon said “Thanks so much Tara. Tell Jax I said hey.” She said “Of course, it’s not a problem.” Tara proceeds to leave and said “I’ll have Jax give me your number Leon so I can call you about the results of her tests.” Then Leon walks her out to her car and comes back in the room and I sit up on Leon’s bed making sure I’m still covered and I said “Can I shower?” He said “no shit,” and kind of chuckled. He said “The towel you’re sitting on is clean, if you want to use that one.” Then he walked over to his bathroom and started to turn the shower on. I slowly walked in behind him with the towel wrapped around my waist and he said “If you want it hotter just turn it to the left.” Then he patted me on the shoulder and walked out closing the door behind him. I slowly unbottoned my school shirt as I remembered what happened to Jackie, and if she was safe. In a way I felt a little guilty knowing that I got away and that she probably didn’t. Then again, even though nobody deserves what she got by any means, it was her fault for being to absent-minded by willingly putting herself in harm's way and dragging me into it. I sat down inside the shower and let the water run down on me. I was just sitting there for about twenty or so minutes before I lifted my head up. I looked up at Leon’s shower things and I picked up his body wash, put some in my hands and started rubbing it all over my body. Even though Tara said I wasn’t harmed I still felt disgusting. I didn’t even feel comfortable touching myself down there. After I got out of the shower I gradually walked out of the bathroom in my towel feeling awkward. This has been something I’ve fantasied about for a long time, but now I feel gross and I don’t even want Leon to look at me. Leon pulls out one of his jersey tank tops that he always wears with the number eight on it and said “I figured you needed something to put on after the shower. I also have some clean boxers if you’re okay with that.” I said “Yes, that’s fine.”  Leon then turns around as if he expected me to change here instead of walking back into the bathroom, so I did change in the room. I don’t know why I guess it was instinct. Despite everything I just went through I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. I only felt uncomfortable with myself at this point. I started to lay down on the bed afterwards and Leon started to make a bed for himself on the floor. I said “What are you doing?” He paused with a stunned expression on his face and said “I’m giving you the bed.” I said “Leon….. I would feel like shit if you slept on the floor in your own room.” He said “It’s really not that big of a deal.” I said “The bed is huge. Just sleep next to me.” He said “Lacey, I’m not sleeping with you.” “I said next to me not with me.” Leon just sighed heavily and then climbed up in bed next to me as if he knew he wanted to sleep there all along. Who would sleep on the hardwood floor of their own room when there’s only one tiny girl in their bed? There’s plenty of room. Moments later I was dead alseep. A few hours must have went by and I woke up to Leon shaking me out of a bad dream and the sun was peaking through the windows. I must have been tossing franctically because of the dream. I have had severe night terrors like that before. Vince has told me about them. Leon said “Are you okay?” I sat there in silence for a minute and said “I don’t think it was a dream, I think I was remembering stuff that actually happened. I saw the house. I remember what the house looked like. It was light blue, very torn down, it had bars on all the windows, and there was some word on the side in black spray paint. Not like grafitti but like a random ass word.” He said “If you saw it in person would you be able to point it out?” I shook my head and added “We would have to start where we did though so I can remember my steps exactly.” Leon said “We?” I said “Me and this girl Jackie. She’s the one who brought me there. We obviously ditched school. We walked there from the back of the school by the football field. It was like only a couple blocks away.” Leon jumped out of bed immediately and grabbed his keys and said “Lets go.” I didn’t hesitate and I don’t know why. In the car Leon mentioned something I already knew and said "I'm pretty sure that area is Mexican ran. Maybe Hector will know." I said "Don't get anybody else involved." He said "You're right." We started to drive past my school as the sun was just peaking up over the horizon. He stopped at a stop sign as we approached the end of the football field and said “Where do I go from here?” I said “Make a left, at the end that block make a right and go straight.” Putting myself in the same exact setting and retracing my steps has actually helped me remember a ton. As Leon approached the last direction, my heart sank in my stomach. I saw the house and an eerie feeling like I just knew that was it. A flash back came to mind. I saw myself running away from the house after squeezing through the side of the bars on one of the back windows. It was remembered from a first-person presepective, but I saw the memory as if it were a movie scene. Leon stopped in front of the house next door to the blue house and looked over at me and said “Is that the one?” I just slowly shook my head yes all while staring at the house with fear. He said “Are you ready to do this?” I look over at him with slight panic and said “Do what?” He said “Investigate.” We started to walk around towards the back of the hosue and I was holding on to his arm because I felt very weak in the knees when Leon noticed something I did at the same time. Leon reached for it and said “You must’ve squeezed through these bars. This is a torn piece of your shirt.” I shook my head and said “Yeah, I remember that.” The window was still open, and Leon squeezed his hand through the side of the bars and moved the curtain out of the way to look through. No one was in the room, but I saw my backpack and said “Shit.” Leon said “Don’t worry. We’ll get it back.” I looked over at him slightly confused at his reassurance as if he could simply walk in there with no problems and retrieve it. Leon and I both heard something from inside the house and Leon quickly reached his hand out of the window and said “Go back to the car and start it, and wait there.” I did exactly that and waited anxiously. I saw Leon circle back around to the front, open the screen door and kick the other door in. My heart started racing I was so scared. I heard three gun shots and I started to have a panic attack. Seconds later I see Leon run out with my backpack and jump into the already started car and drive off immediately. I didn’t even ask questions because I already knew. This was a side of Leon I’ve never seen before and it was a side of him I didn’t even think he could have. Vince, certainly, but not Leon. As we approached his house again he stopped in the driveway and said “Everything’s okay now.” I asked him “Was there a girl in there?” He said “No. I would’ve saved her.” I said “What about the cops?” Leon looked at me with an expression on his face as if he really wanted to say Are you serious? However, he said “With all the drugs around that house, the cops will just count the bodies and their blessings and close the case as a gang related drug crime. No ties back to you or me.” I wasn’t even freaking out and that’s what scared me. The fact that this feels like something I wanted concerns me and the fact that I feel so relieved concerns me even more. I feel like if Leon didn’t do it I honestly think that I eventually would’ve and that's truly the most concerning feeling about all of this. Leon walked me back into the house and picked up his phone and made a call. I obviously couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but Leon said “Hey, it’s me…… I need a favor…… 616 14th ave….. I need you to make it look more gangster and Latin King related….” A few moments later I said “Who was that?” Leon told me everything and at this point after what just occurred I feel like he wouldn’t even hesitate to answer or try to beat around the bush and I was right. He said “A guy named Saul. He’s from New Mexico, that’s where I met him. He often comes to this area, or has guys who work for him in this area. Long story short…. He’s a lawyer with a lot dirty connections. He’s basically a lawyer to keep his guys and connections out of the cage.” I asked him “Why did you call him? I thought you said the killings weren’t going to lead back to us.” He said “I’m just making sure, Lacey.” The whole time Leon spoke in a monotone, depressed like voice. I went over and sat next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me. I asked “How many people have you killed before Leon?” He unwrapped his arm around me and sighed. He admitted “Just a few…….” I could see the tears build up in his eyes as he sighed as if a huge weight was lifted off his chest. I didn’t even think differently of him though, and I think that scared me a bit. I was still just as infatuated with him as I was when I didn’t know anything about him at all. I kissed him on the cheek as tears came down my face and I whispered “I’m sorry I got you into this.” He looked me in the eyes and “Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry that this even happened to you in the first place.” He kissed me on the forhead and our faces were so close together and I could feel the vibe that both of us wnated to kiss but neither of us were ballsy enough to make that move. Then all of the sudden a car screeched as it rolled up in the driveway. We both jumped up when we realized it was Vince. He ran towards the front door and Leon made me get under the bed and he shoved my clothes under there too. I had no time to ask why I had to hide. It wasn’t like we actually hooked up or anything, so there was honestly really nothing to hide from Vince. However, like I mentioned before, Vince is a react first, ask questions later, kind of guy. If he saw me in Leon's bedroom wearing his clothes he would've automatically assumed and started beating up Leon before any explanation could even be expressed. Vince came charging into Leon’s room and he seemed out of breath. He asked “Have you heard from Lacey?” Leon asked why and Vince responded very frustrated and said “Just answer the fucking question.” Leon said “No… Now tell me why.” Vince sighed with disbelief and said "I got a call from Hector last night. He said he saw Lacey walking around disoriented by a 7/11 in Koreatown. That's like only two blocks from here. I went there and couldn't see her anywhere. She was covered in bruises and blood and fucked out of her mind. I went by the school today also and she isn’t there.“ Leon said "What do we do?” Vince said “I’m going to go look for her. Maybe Tran picked her up as revenge. I’m going to kill that chink bastard.” Leon said “You need to think rationally.” Vince said “The only rational thing to do if Tran hurt, or even touched my sister, would be to kill him.” Leon said “But what if he didn’t? You can’t just run up in the Asian side of town with an accusation like that without starting a war that we made ammends to keep from happening between us and them.” Vince said “If he hurt or touched Lacey he’s going to get a lot more than a fucking war. I'm going to kill him and his whole goddamn family if he even touched the only thing in the world that I care about.” Then Vince stormed out and slammed the front door. I peaked my head out from under the bed and said “Why did you lie to him?” Leon shook his head and said “That's a dumb question. Because Vince doesn’t think rationally… If he knew what happened he would’ve done what I just did but a lot sloppier and he wouldn’t have been smart about it. Plus he doesn’t have Saul as a connection. Plus no time would have even existed to explain any of it to him anyway. He would've saw me and you and immediately assumed that we fucked.” So what if he storms through and kills whoever Tran is instead? Leon said “I’m going to call him in 20 minutes and tell him you called me from a payphone.” Twenty minutes go by and Leon makes that phone call and puts it on speaker. Vince said “A payphone from where?” Leon said “7/11 in Koreatown. I just picked her up. Come back to the house, she’s freaking out and she wants you.” I said “I’m in your clothes, do you really expect me to put those back on?” I said pointing to the dirty, blood covered clothes under the bed. He said “No, I’ll tell him I gave a change of clothes, upon your request.” Vince comes charging in just as he did before but instead of frustration he seemed relieved. Then he was frustrated again as he held me and said “What the fuck happened!? Why didn’t you call me? Why did you call Leon? Why didn’t you call me last night? And why are you in Leon’s clothes? And where were you? I checked the 7/11.” I said “I asked Leon for a change of clothes I didn’t want to be in those anymore.” Pointing to the dirty clothes I pulled back out from under the bed to make this more convincing and I continued with "And I was passed out in the back alley." Vince said “Okay.. Now tell me what the fuck happened.” I told him the lie Leon and I went over as we were waiting for him to get back to the house. I said “I ditched school yesterday with some girl I didn’t really know her. I just have a class with her and she asked if I wanted to come along so I did. We hung out all day at Joe’s Creek……. Later that night when we we’re going to walk home we got jumped…. I didn’t know where I was, and I don’t know where she went, I don’t know where she lives. I don't really know anything about her at all to be honest.” Vince looked like he was digesting the story as he was biting his thumbnail and he just stood me up and hugged me again. He said “Let’s go home.” I looked at Leon because I didn’t want to leave him, and he said “I’ll  be over later for dinner.” Vince turned around and hugged him too and said “Thanks for everything you do for my sister, the tutoring and well, everything.” He said “Of course man.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

A couple of days go by and I’ve been a hermit inside my bedroom. The only person who periodically came by to check on me was Leon. Today he knocked on my door and had a gigantic teddy bear in his hands and said “I figured you’d like this.” I laughed and hugged the big teddy bear. Leon sat down at the foot of my bed and said “You know you have to come out of this room eventually.” I said “I know…..” Leon then asked “How are you holding up?” I said “Fine…. How are you holding up?” He smirked and said “I’m fine.” I asked “Do you think Vince believes my story?” Leon said “Well he hasn’t shot up the neighborhood around your school, has he?” I laughed and said “So I guess that’s a yes?” Leon laughed and said “Honestly Lacey, I don’t know. I think he’s just glad you’re okay.” I just smiled and Leon got up, smiled back and walked away. A few moments later I walked down stairs for the first time in a few days and Vince grabs me and hugs me and said “Hey kiddo.” I smiled at him and he said “Your face healed up nicely,” and kind of chuckled and addded a joke to it and said "Well, not that it was any good before." I playfully punched him in the stomach and laughed. Then he asked “Were you scared?” I looked down and shamefully shook my head yes. He brushed my hair behind my ears and said “Well you’re safe now, kiddo.” Later that night the family was suiting up for another “run” and I started to walk back up to my room, and Vince said “Hey Lacey….” I turn around expecting him to finish his sentence. He looks at Dom and Dom shakes his head signaling 'yes’ and Vince turns back around and said “Want to come along?” My heart sank, because of course I wanted to but was I ready for this? Leon looked up at me and smiled. I said “Yes.” Vince said “Well… Suit up.” I said “I don't know what that means.." Vince said “I was joking. You can come but I’m not giving you a gun…. Yet.” As we were walking out the door Leon put his arm around me and said “Congrats. Welcome to the big leagues.” As we were driving down a similar road much like the one from the night of the warehouse incident we pull off to a different secluded warehouse. As we step inside they all start pulling white tarps off of these street racing cars. They were all black and incognito. Definitely the exact opposite of the flashy, colorful street racing cars with tricked out decal that they’re normally in. However, there was a green luminescent light from under the vehicles. I wasn't shocked. There's not way there wasn't at least one thing tricked out about the cars other than the cars themselves. Vince said “Lacey, you’re riding with Leon.” Leon put his arm around me and walked me over to his car. There were four cars in total. Letty and Jesse drove their own and Vince rode with Dom. Leon had his own too, and inside the car was another police scanner just like the one in his normal car. He looked over at me and said “Are you ready?” I said “For what exactly?” He said “Don’t worry, all we have to do is sit, well and drive too. It’ll be okay. We don’t have much to do unless an incident occurs.” Then he reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. The awkward tension began to rise as he didn’t exactly let go of my hand. Believe me, I enjoyed it but at the same time I was nervous. I’m the one who casually broke the connection of our hands and then he put his hand on the stick, put it into gear, and began to drive behind following the rest. He turns the police scanner on and after about twenty minutes of observing police whereabouts he picked up the walkie-talkie and said “No cops within five miles, we’re good.” Then he switched gears and began to drive faster. He glanced over at me and said “You’re being awfully quiet.” I said “I’m just soaking it all in.” He chuckled and said “Well, is it everything you thought it would be?” I said “No, not really. Thought it would be more… exciting.” Leon said “Well, it’s really only exciting for Vince, Dom, and Letty. Jesse and I are really just extras in case anything goes wrong.” I asked “How come Mia never comes with you guys?” He said “Mia doesn’t approve, plus she looks after you. These heists are fairly new, but when you were younger they were still doing shit like this. Someone needed to stay with you. She’ll turn her head and look the other way, and lie for us if police ever got involved, but she doesn’t want to be apart of it anymore than that. Dom doesn’t blame her either.” Meanwhile I can see the truck drive left to right on the road with screeching tires and loud honks. I asked “So why did I get invited to come along?” Leon sighed and said “Do you want the truth?” I said “Well, yeah.” He said “Because everyone knows you’re Vince’s little sister. Everyone knows how the Scaletta mentality works, and you’ve already proven our theory.” I said “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said “That if we don’t properly train you and take you along, that you’re going to be hard-headed and follow us anyway. Rather have you trained and prepared for any circumstance, than absent-mindedly trying to do this shit on your own.” He looked over at me and “You’re very brave though, I’ll give you that. I admire that, actually.” I just kind of smirked. He said “Now, stop being careless, and start being smart, like I know you are. I’m the one who convinced Vince to let you come along tonight. I said you needed it, and Dom actually agreed.” During that conversation is when the whole heist was going down. I think Leon tried to distract me in a way, but the walkie-talkie was going off and I can hear Vince say “I’m going in.” The tires and motion of the truck were even more sparatic than before. I heard one gun shot, and a lot of tire screeching. Then about thirty minutes later we all pull over and get out of the cars, I see Vince hop out of the semi-truck. They all move to the back of the truck and load the cars up with boxes and boxes of what seems to be DVD players, but the boxes obviously do not contain DVD players. I start to walk away while they’re distracted by the boxes to look inside the truck. I see there is no more windshield and the driver on the floor of the truck but there was no blood. Vince came up behind me and said “It was tranq bullet. Now come on.” I got back into the car with Leon and he said “That’s it.” I said “That’s it? What do we do with the boxes?” He said “Take what’s in them out at the garage, and burn the boxes.” I kept repeating “That’s it? Really? Like that’s it?” I said it in a manner of disappointment, I expected it to be more of a top-notch heist, but it didn’t even feel criminal it was so quick and they made it seem really easy. Leon said “Trust me Lacey, sometimes the operation gets really dirty, tonight was just an easy night.” I said “Why tranq bullets?” Leon said “We’re not murderers!” Then there was a pause because Leon remembered who he was talking to and said “Unless, we have to be. Plus, it keeps the FBI away.” I said “For how long though? If we keep doing it over and over, they’re bound to get involved eventually right? I mean they’re organized and pre-meditated heists, whether there’s dead bodies or not.” Leon looked at me as if he knew I was right but he didn’t want to admit it. The same way Vince looked. He said “I know… Nobody listens to me though. I’ve tried telling them this but Dom is the shot caller and Vince will back him up no matter what, and the rest of us just follow to get a cut, but also to protect them if anything goes down.” I said “So, you’re saying the FBI is bound to get involved eventually? Isn’t that dangerous?” He said “Lacey this lifestyle is dangerous regardless, but yes. However, Dom is smart, he knows his way around things,  he would never put himself in a position to where he spends years in prison again. He spent two years for that assault charge and always says he’ll die before he goes back. We'll just move on to a new kind of heist just like before and leave law enforcement on dead trails.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

A couple of days go by, and things began to fall back in routine. I’ve been going to school, doing what I need to do and going home, I haven’t seen Jackie at all, but is it bad that I don’t care? I mean, of course apart of me does because we basically went through the same thing, even though I apparently had a chance to fight back and she didn’t. She could be dead, but the other half of me doesn’t even care because it’s her fault. She got herself into that mess and nearly dragged me into it as well. I received a text from Leon telling me he’s out in the front of the school. I found it very odd because he never picks me up from the front of school. As I was getting into his car I noticed people staring at me, or maybe it was just Leon’s car. After all, it is an expensive, bright yellow Nissan Skyline GT-R imported from Europe with decal all over it. Still made me uncomfortable though to have the feeling of all eyes on me. I got in the car and asked him why he’s picking me up from the front. He said “I was already parked out here, might as well. Your school called me today to set up a conference.” I panicked said “A conference for what, and why did they call you?” He said “I’m the only one they got ahold of. I only answered because I thought it was you, I reocgnized the school number. Anyways, they wanted a conference because there’s apparently rumors about you going around at school… And because you've been skipping a lot.” I said “What?? What are the rumors?” He said “Petty teenage bullshit. How you probably hired someone to scare all your teachers into giving you good grades………And hired those same people to kill Jackie.” I screamed “What?” Leon said “Don’t  worry Lacey, I worked it all out. I told them you didn’t even know a Jackie, and that the whole grade thing just sounds stupid and petty.” I said “No, I mean Jackie is actually dead?” Leon said “I’m having that Saul I told you about ask one of his accomplices to look into it. So, I don’t know yet, and it’s not your fault so don’t even begin to feel that way. She got you into that mess. If she’s alive she’s the one who should be feeling bad for you.” After a short pause he added "And Tara called.... You don't have any diseases." I said "There's always a bright side."   After a few more momets of silence, Leon asked “Do you want to come over to my place? Maybe smoke a little bit, and chill? You seem stressed out.” I said “Yeah, sure.” After we smoked Leon confessed some of his past to me. He said “I started drifting when I was fourteen. I’ve been to a lot of places, and met a lot of people. I’ve never felt as comfortable around anyone as I do with you…..and your family.” I said “Our family.” He chuckled and said “Of course.” I asked “What made you stay with us?” He said “Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I was just tired of running. Whether it be that I was running from something or running to find something, I was just tired of it. However, I am sure glad that I did stay.” I asked “Where all have you been?” He said “A lot of places, I’ve been to Chicago, I did this whole restaurant bus boy job, but at the end of the day, I worked for this guy in the porn industry.” I shot him this look and he said “No, I’ve never participated in the porn industry… I just did some errands for him. Running guns and money and being pretty much a taxi driver for his porn whores. I also stayed in New Orleans for awhile. I went by the name Sean Riley. I was boosting cars and working a chop shop, much like I do now. I’ve also been to New Mexico. Met this kid named Jesse and I sold meth for him. He’s how I met Saul, and gained him as a connection. Those aren’t the only places I’ve been to, but definitely the only ones I’m willing talk about.” I said “How did you meet the doctor’s husband?” He said “Oh, Jax? I did a couple of jobs for him and his crew. They’re from a town called Charming, it’s up north closer to the Nevada border. Very ironic name though considering what goes on in that town.” We went silent for a little bit and he laid on the bed next to me and said “So, tell me more about you..” I laughed but he said “I’m serious. It’s so obvious that you hold a lot of shit in. I think after all we’ve been through together and all I’ve told you so far, you should be able to open up.” I didn't say anything and he said "No pressure, though." I said “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything like that. I just don’t know how to share what’s on my mind, I don’t know where to begin.” He said “Start with what bothers you the most. Or even what excites you the most.” I said “My insecurities. My constant feeling of never being good enough.” He said “Well, I can tell you right now, that you are more than good enough. You are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re intelligent, and good looking. There’s no reason for you to be insecure.” I smiled at him and began to tear up a little. Then he said "Now what excites you the most?" I said "Adventure." He said "What do you consider adventurous?" I said "Rollercoasters, traveling, or pretty much anything that comes with a good story." He just smiled really big at me and said "You're the kind of girl to create good times and a story no matter what the scenario is." I thought to myself that he knows me a lot better than I know me. It felt great to be honest. I continued with more things that I like because I'm so secure with my vulnerabilities and what I am on the inside. I never really talk about these things nor do I really ever have anyone as an outlet to express what I like anyway. I said "I like to read, write, draw, paint, and make shit." He said "So you love art?" I said "More than anything. You can express whatever you want without having to talk about it. Or in art such as writing, you can make up aything, and live in a different world for awhile. Or be a completely different person." He said "I knew you were artsy. You just have that vibe. That old-soul kind of vibe. It's easy to see that you see the world in a different perspective. It's even easier to see that the world is your biggest enemy. Your way of thinking, is other-worldly. It expands far beyond this tiny little snow globe of a planet. You're a down to Mars kind of girl." I never realized he noticed me enough to even have that description of me. I started tearing up but in a joyous way. It felt great knowing that someone can see that side of me. I rested my head down on his chest and held me. As I closed my eyes and began drifting to sleep I began to settle my focus on nothing but his heart beat. Hearing it flutter nervously made me so happy and content with the moment. After nearly a couple hours, we are jolted awake by a phone call. Leon said “It’s Vince.” I didn’t know if that was like a warning to be quiet or just a heads up of who was calling, but I stayed quiet anyway. Besides if Vince was worried about me, he’d call me, not Leon, especially considering he’s unaware just how much time we actually do spend together. So I knew there was nothing to panic about. Leon was quiet pretty much throughout the entire course of the phone call, and I can hear Vince talking, he sounded frustrated but not angry. Leon ends the conversation with a heavy sigh and says “I’ll be right there.” I said “What was all that about?” He said “Some asshole at the garage is trying to pick a fight with Vince over one of the cars him and I worked on. He’s complaining about the brakes which I worked on by myself. I know damn well there isn’t a thing wrong with them, nobody has ever came back with complaints. He’s just trying to make some money by getting a bullshit refund, and Vince knows that’s what he’s trying to do. I mean we worked on the car a month ago, if there was truly something wrong with the brakes he would've came back a long time ago. But now I have to go save the day so Vince doesn’t end up in jail….. Again.” I said “Can I come?” He said “Duh, I wouldn’t leave you at this house alone anyway. I don’t trust or even like my roommates, and I especially don’t like the way they look at you. I can’t wait to move back in with you guys after that room is finished.” I was honestly totally unaware his roommates ever even stared at me. I used to be so observant with the world around me, and ever since Leon and I have become closer, the only thing my world consists of is him. I don’t know what love is but I can tell you that seeing the sparkle in his eyes, and the brightness of his smile makes my heart melt. The way he talks to me and protects me and shows an interest in me and what I’m thinking, and how everything about him from the way he thinks, the way he perceives the world, the way he looks at me, how it makes me feel like the world could end today and I’d be absolutely content knowing that I would be by his side when it did. If that’s not love then I don’t think I’ll ever know love. Once we arrive to the garage, Leon immediately walks over to the asshole customer. Vince notices that I step out of Leon’s car and he hesitantly walks over to me as if he was conflicted about whether he should confront me or stay by Leon’s side just in case anything gets ugly between him and the customer. However, he walks over to me anyway and he said “What were you doing with Leon?” I said “Tutoring.” He said “Oh really? Your teacher called yesterday and said you’re doing excellent and making A’s in the class now.” I said in a condenscending tone “Yeah, thanks to Leon.” Vince gave me this look as if he knew there was way more to this story than what was being said, but the look also expressed that he didn’t want to believe that there was and that he needed proof to make such accusations. So he said “You hungry?” I said “Yeah, why?” He said “What do you mean why? I’m obviously going to feed you, that’s why.” I said “Where we going? That's what I was getting at.” He said “I’m grilling when we get home.” Vince starts to walk away then turns back around and says “Can you stick around here for a bit? I’ll drive you home.” I was hesitant to answer but obviously couldn’t say no nor did I really even want to because I do love spending time with my brother, but I also loved spending time with Leon. Obviously two very different vibes, and I was really feeling Leon’s vibes more. I also figured that Vince just wants me to stick around so he can poke at this Leon thing and try to get more answers from me. After Leon deals with the customer the customer walks into the front of the shop where me and Vince are now, and starts yelling and says “I’m never coming here again! Go fuck yourself.” Then proceeds to storm off outside and Vince grabs the baseball bat under the counter and Leon tries to stop Vince but once Vince makes up his mind there’s no changing it, no matter who you are. Vince walks up to the guys car and smashes the window then opens the door and drags the guy out, slams him on the ground, and nearly hit him too, but Leon tackled Vince. With Leon still holding him back, Vince yells “Good, stay the fuck away from here you fat fuck! And you’re not getting a refund.” The fat guy said “I’m calling the fucking cops.” Vince said “Fantastic, tell them about the coke inside your fucking car as well.” The fat guy puts his phone down and gets back in his car and speeds off. I guess his cocaine was more important that rip-off scam to get money. Leon shoves Vince and said “What the fuck is your problem?” Vince said “I have no problems now. Fat guy's gone.” We all walk back into the shop and Leon says “Come on Lacey.” Vince immediately says “She’s closing the shop with me.” Leon looks at me and back at him and said “Oh, alright….” Then he looks at me smiles a bit and walks off. I’m not too worried about it, because I’ll see him tonight at dinner when we get home. Now the shop is empty, and it’s just me and Vince. He asks “Are you mad at me?” I give him this very puzzled look and said “No….. Why the hell would I be mad at you?” He said “I don’t know, you just don’t talk to me anymore.” I said “You’re the one who doesn’t talk to me anymore. You used to tell me stories all the time about stuff that never really made sense until now, but that storytime would be the highlight of my day. I couldn’t wait for you to come home and tell me those stories.” He laughed and said “Yeah….. Things are just…. Different now.” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Back in the day when we would race it wasn’t even to make a living or a profit. It was just for fun. We’d even race each other. When Dom and I were around fifteen years old, we put together this group, and even Letty was apart of it, and we’d just race for the fuck of it. Some people go to the clubs on Friday nights, but we’d go racing. It was just our thing. But things got more complicated than that after we ran into Johny Tran for the very first time when I was like twenty or so. I didn’t even know there was such thing as a "race territory,” and of course Dom being who he is, that’s where it all began. Racing to make a profit, to keep territory, and remain the powerball of the streets instead of racing just because it was fun. Things got even more out of hand shortly after that when Dom’s dad died. Dom created Race Wars, and the first monthly illegal street race was born three weeks later. Then a week after that first street race Dom went to prison for two years, which left me in charge of our newly built empire. Things got really ugly really fast. I had to do a lot of shit that still haunts me, but I had to do it.“ I just sit quietly waiting for more. Vince says "Do you know why I’m telling you all of this?” I said “No, not really, but I don’t mind.” He laughed a little bit and said “Yeah, I know you don’t, but the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want you to have the opprotunities I didn’t even try to seek when I was your age. I see everything in you that I never had. You have potentional, for both worlds honestly, my world, and the real world. I never really realized how much of a fuck up I was until even the teachers gave up on me. Every day I’d skip class. When I did show up to class it was against my own will because I got caught skipping, but I wouldn’t do any work. I just wanted to sleep. When the teacher wouldn’t let me sleep I’d ask for a bathroom pass and walk around the halls with the pass in my hand for like thirty minutes and walk back into class when there was like fifteen minutes left.” He laughed and continued with “Your principal really hated me. I guess that’s why he has it out for you too. It got to the point where the teachers wouldn’t even hand me an assignment, because they knew it would just be a waste of paper and when I would ask to go to the bathroom they’d tell me to just grab my stuff and go, because they knew exactly what I was going to do.” He paused for a moment and continued with “You’re super smart, I want you to be successful, the legal way. I’m not even asking you to be a doctor or a lawyer, I just want you to have a better life. However, seeing how this life is all you know considering you were raised in it, I wouldn’t expect you to just turn your back on it. You have a loyalty mentality like me. I just want you to have at least the opprotunity to have something better. To have that opprotunity to make a choice. I didn't have that choice. It was this life or nothing. It’s too late for me, but it’s not too late for you. I want to see you be the first Scaletta to walk across that stage and receive a high school diploma. I left a shitty reputation behind in that school, and they’re expecting you to do the same but I want you to prove those fuckers wrong.” I asked him what he did in school when he would skip and the first thing he said changed the subject entirely and it was “I smoked weed on the same corner where you sell it.” Then he shot me this look I was shocked, and he said “Yeah, I know what you’re doing. I have connections too.” He stood up and said “I’m not upset with you, but I just want you to know selling weed and simply smoking it are two very different things, and two very different charges to catch. I want you to be careful, because if I don’t even go to your school nor talk to the high school kids you sell it too, and still can find out what you’re doing so can they.” Then he walked over to me and kissed my on the top of my head and said “Lets go home, I’m starving.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

As we got home Mia had already made dinner because “we were taking too long.” So Vince and I sat down to plates that were already made. Later after dinner I was sitting on the back porch reflecting on the heart to heart Vince and I just had. It was the first one in ages. Leon shortly joins me on the back porch knowing that’s where I like to sit after dinner. He came up and sat next to me on the steps and said “So what did you and Vince do after I left? You guys took awhile.” I said “We had a heart to heart kind of moment. I think there’s been a lot on his mind lately. He talked about a lot of stuff. Mostly just how he wants me to have a better life than him and how he doesn’t exactly want me to be apart of the street racing world. He admitted on the way home that’s one of the reasons he was so hesistant about everything – teaching me to drive, and telling me about what it is you guys do. He had to tell me after I pretty much found out on my own. He knew he couldn’t keep it from me anymore.” Leon just sighed and said “Damn. That’s good though. You guys need more heart to hearts.” I asked “Why do you say that?” He said “Lacey, you’re literally the only reason Vince wakes up in the morning. He used to be so careless until one night he got jumped really badly. Didn’t come home for weeks because he didn’t want you to see him that way. He had to go to the hospital and everything. Ever since then he’s taken a lot more precautions than he normally would, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true. It’s because he doesn’t want to put you through…. Losing him. Not like that. I honestly truly believe if it weren’t for you, Vince wouldn’t be here anymore. He’s very depressed, he just hides it from you, and covers it up with anger.” My heart sank to the floor after Leon told me this, I literally never knew any of this, and Vince carries both of our burdens, he’s supposed to be the strong Scaletta. I couldn’t hold back the tears this time and I let them all out. Leon pulled me in and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped both his arms around me and kissed my head which is something he seem to be doing a lot lately, but I don’t mind and he said “Everything’s going to be okay though. I promise.” The way he made promises to me and the way he always made them sound so reassuring was alluring. I still was sobbing pretty badly and Leon grabbed my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs and smiled and said “I didn’t mean to upset you, Lacey. I’m really sorry.” Then he kissed me on the nose. I was in a whirlwind of emotions at this point, and honestly was not thinking at all, and I leaned in and kissed Leon… On the lips. It lasted a lot longer than I thought it would and some tongue even slipped from both of us. My whole body was tingling, but then abruptly Leon leans back and slowly licks his lips and says “I’m sorry Lacey, but….” I cut him off because I didn’t even want to finish hearing what he had to say, now I was embarrassed. I said “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Then I got up and ran off to my bedroom. I started balling my eyes out, because of what Leon told me and now because I ruined everything between Him and I. Should’ve just let him make the first move, but in all honesty it probably would’ve never happened. I was so blinded by my feelings that I didn’t think of this in terms of reality. I’m sixteen, he’s twenty. He would’ve never made the first move. I should’ve known he’d push away if I did. I literally just want to crawl in bed and stay here for the rest of my life.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

Two weeks go by and Leon and I haven’t really talked to one another besides the casual smile when we walk pass each other. He would smile first attempting to initiate that he isn't mad at me or whatever, but I'm mad at myself, and I figured he only did it to make feel better about the humiliation I brought upon myself. Today, I thought I was alone in the house, but of course Leon was the only other person there. We awkwardly met in the kitchen, he was already in there making food, so I tried to turn away as quickly as possible hoping he didn’t notice my attempt to abruptly exist. However, as I was turning around he said “Lacey!” I turned back around and didn’t say anything and just looked at him all while attempting to hide the hurt I felt inside. He said “You know you don’t have to avoid me..?” I said “I fucked up, and embarassed the hell out of myself, and I can’t take that back. What do you expect?” He said “You didn’t even embarrass yourself.” I said “I obviously did, just save it.” He got a little bit more of a stricter tone and said “You didn’t.” We both paused for a breif moment and he walked closer to me and said in a more quiet tone “I liked the kiss.” I just looked up at him with disbelief to what he just said, because here I am thinking that I totally ruined everything, and that he won’t even want to talk to me anymore. Before I could even say anything though Leon continued and said “It’s just that…. You’re Vince’s little sister….. And you’re….. Sixteen.”  I said “Who cares how old I am? You’re only twenty. That’s a four year difference, it’s not even a big deal. It’s not like you’re fifty-something.” Leon’s facial expression indicated that he agreed with me, and that he understands where I am coming from but his words contradict his expression as he says “But the state of California law says–” I cut him off and said in a very condenscending, sarcastic tone “Ohhhhhhhh, so we follow the law now?” Then Leon admitted “Lacey, I don’t give a shit about the law to be honest, and I know that four years isn’t a big deal… It’s just…” I said “It’s just what then? You care about what people are going to say?” He said “No, but yes. I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea. They don’t know me or you, but they won’t care. They’ll just assume that I’m some pervert who took advantage of you.” I said “But you didn’t take–” He cut me off this time and said “I know I didn’t take advantage of you. You’re the one who kissed me, but like I said nobody is going to care, because in society’s eyes even four years is a "big fucking deal” considering you’re not eighteen.“ I can't even argue and have to agree, because it’s true. So many people would look down on us simply because of the slight age difference. I said "I know…. It’s fucking stupid though. If I was eighteen and you were fourty-two nobody would care, but god forbid you’re literally twenty and I’m sixteen……” Leon just rested his hand on my shoulder because he knew I was getting flustered and frustrated. He said “I don’t care about people and their opinions, but at the same time, I don’t want to be deemed as a pedophile, but also you’re Vince’s little sister.” I said “I hate being titled as Vince’s little sister. I am my own person, and I do not live in his fucking shadow. I make my own decisions, and I’ve paved my own path.” He said “Of course, Lacey. I know that. I meant that Vince would literallly fucking kill me becuase of the fact that you are his little sister.” I said “Well, who said we have to tell anybody?” He just looked up at me with that same facial expression as before signaling that he agrees but as if he can’t agree. He said “Lacey, I just think we should wait on it…” I said “For how long?” He said “Until…… You’re 18….” I just said “Yeah, great. So am I just supposed to sit back and watch girls throw themselves at you for two years? Do you really think after that I’ll feel the same in two years, as if all the whoring around you’re going to do just disappears because I turn eighteen and we can live "happily ever after?”“ I began to storm off but he grabbed my arm and said "But, we don’t have to act like strangers Lacey.” I said “What do you expect Leon? I can’t change the way I feel about you, and quite frankly I don’t want to. We can’t just pretend the kiss and this conversation didn’t happen.” He said “I’m not asking you to forget it happen, and quite frankly, I don’t want to forget it either. I like you, I really do, but it’s a huge risk liking you, Lacey. Going to jail for boosting cars, or even street racing isn’t nearly as bad as getting locked up and portrayed as this evil human being and registering as a "sex offender.” You got to understand where I am coming from, Lacey.” He continued with, “We just can’t be in a relationship right now, but we don’t have to act like strangers. I still want to be there for you, like I was. I don’t want to lose the connection we had.” I said “Me either but it's my fault that we did….” He lifted my chin to advert my eyes to his and he said “You didn't ruin anything, Lacey. So can we hug it out?” I just smiled and gave him a giant squeeze to end the conversation. As days went by, things are still definitely awkward, but I’m just more content at the fact that at least he doesn’t hate me for it and to my surprise he even admitted to liking me too. Of course I don’t want anything bad to happen to Leon if we were to get caught, but I also don’t want to wait two more years either. I'm being a little selfish, but I can't help the way that I feel. I’m always just really frightened at the thought that my feelings for him won’t be the same in two years time, even more terrified thinking that he'll end up falling in love with an older girl with more experience in those two years. I don’t want to lose this feeling ever, but I have to prep myself for that possibility, and that's what's hurting the most. I’ve gotten back into things I was doing before Leon and I began hanging out all the time. It helped distract my mind from it usually even though most of time the thought of him crept it’s way into whatever I was working on, whether it was painting, drawing, or writing. The thought of what him and I could be somehow still managed to express itself in my art, but sometimes I wouldn’t even realize it. I would literally be on auto-piolet and intuned to the art itself without even realizing I interpreted Leon in some form into the art until afterwards. I started trying different forms of art such as crochet. I made myself some cute crocheted halter tops and bikinis, and I even made bracelets and jewlery with other materials. Still didn’t help me completely distract myself from him. I slowly and cautiously opened my brother’s bedroom door and went at ease after I found out he wasn’t in there. I don’t really know what I was doing in there but I started looking through the night stand drawer, and saw a bunch of old pictures and other miscellaneous things including some weed and a bowl for smoking weed. Then my attention went elsewhere and instantly I got an idea when my eyes focused on his guitar. He used to try to teach me how to play when I was younger and when he wasn’t so busy all the time. I still remember a few things, but I decided to pick it up and wing it. I sat back down on the bed and stroked the strings a little bit. Just the vibration and soft, unintelligent melody was so soothing. However to my surprise Vince walks in the room, we both shocked each other. I quickly put the guitar back down in the corner and he said “You don’t have to be a sneak about it. Whenever you want to try it out you can.” I laughed and said “I suck though.” He laughed and said “Not true. Everyone starts somewhere. I wasn’t born a good guitarist, I became one.” He then walked over to the guitar, picked it up and said “Here. You can have it. It’s yours now.” I said “You don’t have to do that.” He said “Lacey, it’s a gift. Just take it. Besides, I like the electric guitar better anyway.” I said “Thank you, Vince.” He said “No problem. You better write some bangers though.” Then we both laughed.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

I stayed late at school on a Friday night simply because my after school activites consisted of hanging out with Leon, and since I can’t really do that anymore I seriously looked for every excuse, and club, or extracurricular activity to participate in just to avoid going home, and being there alone with him. It’s not that I was scared of him or anything like that, even the awkward tension didn’t seem to quite be there anymore. I just knew that if I stayed around him I put myself and him in a bad position. We both are extremely infatuated with each other, and for his sake of not being deemed as a pervert sex offender, we have to refrain from putting each other in those situations where another heat of the moment kiss could take place and that could inevitabley push things further down the road, if you catch my drift. I participated in the art show tonight, I even showcased some of my artwork. I showcased them anonymously though, I’m not really great with constructive criticism, so if there were critics in the crowd who didn’t like my work, at least they wouldn’t know the face of the artist and I didn’t necessarily have to hear about it. Quinn, who I met in the art department who I helped with after school lighting and sound checks for theater, came up to me and said “I know that’s your work over there submitted “anonymously..” I said “Cool.” He asked “Why on earth would you do that? They’re extremely good, and you should hear what people are saying about them.” I said “That’s exactly the reason I anonymously submitted them, Quinn. I didn’t want to hear what people had to say about them.” He said “Even if they were extremely nice things?” I said “Well, those wouldn’t be so bad to hear, but it’s the negative ones I’m afraid of, and the bad always comes with the good. If you want the good, you have to expect the bad, but if you don’t want the bad at all, you have to sacrifice the good.” Quinn laughed and stated “Sometimes I feel like your mind drifts off and you make vague analogies that fit the topic at hand but also issues in your life you don’t explicitly bring up.” I said “You caught me. I have a knack for that.” I said it in a sarcastic tone to hopefully direct the conversation to a new topic, but he was shockingly right about my analogies. Didn’t realize I did them that often, nor did I realize Quinn and I had that many conversations for him to notice such a thing. Maybe he was just a great observer like me. After the artshow I stayed and helped clean up the gym, the sun has completely set by now and I was a little uneasy about walking home through the horrible neighborhoods, that never used to seem that bad, but now I know their stories. I also got eerie flashbacks from the Jackie incident, and how the last time I was in the streets by myself at nighttime, I was in a dazed drug-induced trance covered in blood. By the way, Jackie has still never been found, which doesn’t make this eerie feeling any better. Anyways, that night I ran to Leon as a safety net but now I’m too afraid to even call him to ask him for a ride home. Besides it’s Friday night, so he’s probably fighting right now anyway. Yes – fighting. Leon has always had a passion for mixed martial arts and UFC. His passion landed him an “under the table” job at a sketchy bar that made bets on the fighters. Winner gets the loot. Seriously, nothing my family dabbled in to make quick cash was ever legal. Then again, most outlets for "quick cash" rarely ever are. I started to walk home anyway after I gained the courage. Besides being outside the school with all the lights off seem to set off an even creepier vibe. I’m walking and start to observe my surroundings. I start thinking to myself out loud, “Okay, It’s Friday night, I’m sure a lot of parties are going to be taking place throughout the neighborhoods, expect hollaring, shouting, and a lot of cars. Don’t panic, you can do this, if you can practically Grand Theft Auto Mia’s car, and sneak around a secluded warehouse guarded by armed family members who would shoot first at a shadow in the woods sneaking up on the place, and investigate later, then I can simply walk home from school.” A car pulled up next to me, and as I’m gripping the pocket knife I stole from Vince’s end table drawer, I ease the grip when I realize it was Quinn. He said “I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I noticed you walking home and it’s pretty dark and this is a pretty sketchy area, if you don’t mind, then I won’t mind giving you a ride home.” I said “Actually, yeah, that’ll be good. Thank you.” I didn't particularly trust Quinn, as with anybody really, but I trusted him more the unpredictability of these streets. The car ride between me and Quinn wasn’t awkward, it was just boring to me because we obviously don’t relate on very many levels. However, he is a very nice guy, it’s just that I’m obviously more into perculiar, adverse guys like Leon and Quinn was definitely neither of the two. Quinn was an open book and he talked about everything he liked right off the bat, seriously lacking the enigmas vibe, and he doesn’t seem too adverse as he participates in a lot of school activites so he doesn’t really have time to be bad even if he wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, Quinn is very cute, but his baby face compared to Leon’s scruffy face just didn’t compare. I noticed in his backseat that there was a bucket from Dunkin Donuts and inside the bucket was a rumpled up brown apron, which I assumed was his work apron, and that he worked at Dunkin Donuts, but I wasn’t going to bring it up unless he did. I noticed the bucket said “glazed” on it, and I thought to myself why would he steal and wash out a bucket of donut glaze? He seemed really odd at times. His life story and things that he has interests in seemed rehearsed and he didn't seem too compassionate towards the things he claimed to have passion for. However, as it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen or encountered, I let the thought go. We finally pulled up in front of my house, and Leon, Vince, and Dom are outside drinking beers. As I was hoping for a quick exit Quinn wants to start small talk again and says “So you live in Echo Park? Kind of far from the school.” I said “Yeah, I used to go to the one closer but I had to transfer.” He then asks “Do you know the guys on the porch?” I said “Yeah, one of them is my brother, why?” He said “Just want to make sure you get inside safely.” I laughed and said “That’s not your job, Quinn. Thanks for the ride though.” As I’m walking up the path to the porch I already know they’re going to question me and ask about the guy that dropped me off so I’m already prepared for it. Vince says “Who was that?” I said “Quinn. He helps with a lot of after school activities and drove me home so I didn’t have to walk.” Leon abruptly said “Why didn’t you call me?” Vince gave him this look and then shot it back at me and said “Or me??” I said “I was just going to walk home, he offered.” Vince didn’t seem to care much about Quinn, just my well-being, and after seeing he offered out of “the kindness of his heart” Vince sort of let it go. However, Leon looked enraged and I can obviously assume why he would be, but then again, it was his choice to wait until I turned eighteen. So am I supposed to be lonely and single for two years? Not that I was even interested in Quinn in that manner, but I didn’t care if Leon thought so at the moment. A few hours later, Leon knocks on the doorway of my room, and I look at him and can immediately tell he’s had quite a lot to drink. I said “The door was already opened why’d you knock?” He completely ignored my question and continued to poke the Quinn situation and asked “So who’s Quinn?” I said “I already told you guys, he’s just a kid I met from doing after school stuff. He offered to give me a ride home.” He asked “Do you like him?” I sighed and said “No Leon, I don’t, not like that. Even if I did though, am I not allowed to? You and I are not together, and can’t be for two years. Am I supposed to be the same lonely little girl I've always been and wait on you while you have a fan club of whores who practically jump in your pants every time they see you?” Leon didn’t respond right away and said “I don’t entertain the whore fan club, I don’t want to.” I said “Well that’s good, but Quinn seriously is just a kid who offered me a ride home it’s really not that big of a deal.” I changed the subject and said “So anyways… Do you want me to clean the cuts on your face?” He smirked and said “Sure Dr. Lacey.” As I have Leon’s face gripped in my hand I start to feel the urge to cry, and I seriously do not even know why. Leon asked “Will this shit hurt?” I said “It’ll sting a little bit, but you’ve been drinking so you probably won’t even feel it.” After I clean his face we talk a little bit like we used to. He saw the guitar and started telling me stories about him learning the guitar and I thought to myself “Does he just know how to do everything?” In the middle of the guitar conversation though, he leaped up and ran to my bathroom to puke his brains out. I slowly crept in behind him and started rubbing his back. I do the same thing for Vince and Jesse when they have too much to drink, so it wasn’t even sexual. By this point Leon was slurrig his words, and couldn’t keep his eyes open. I let him lay down in my bed, and I put the bathroom garbage can next to him, he drifted asleep almost instantly, and to keep things from being super awkward in the morning, I borrowed some blankets from the living room couch, and slept on the floor. I know this is pretty much a contradiction from the night I slept in his bed and made him sleep next to me because it was his room, and his bed, I wouldn’t want him sleeping on the floor. However, due to recent events I figured it would just be wiser to sleep on the floor. Also, just in case someone decides they want to walk into my room, and get the wrong idea. Say Vince, for example.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

I wake up to a gentle shake on my shoulder, and I open my eyes to see Leon standing over me. Once I became fully aware of my surroundings upon waking up, Leon sat down next to me on the floor with his back resting against the side of my bed. I sat up and said “You okay?” He said “Yeah. Thanks.” There was a long pause and then he said “So…. What did happen last night? I remember a lot but can’t really remember much after the guitar conversation.” I said “Well, actually the guitar conversation is the last thing we talked about. You threw up and passed out literally in the middle of that conversation.” He said “Damn. Alright. Why didn’t you bring me to my room? Just curious.” I gave him this look and said “Do you think I’m strong enough to carry you princess style down a flight of stairs? You could barely stand and walk over to bed let alone a flight of stairs.” He started to chuckle and said “Thanks for taking care of me. You didn’t have to.” I said “I didn’t really have a choice, but I didn’t mind either way. Besides, there have been times where you’ve helped my drunk ass before.” He laughed and said “Well, that’s different. I’m a man.” I said “So what? Man or woman, tall or short, fat or skinny, if you drink alcohol you’re going to get drunk, and if you drink enough, you’ll get super wasted. It's what's supposed to happen and it happens to everybody.” I changed the topic and asked “So Leon, did you win the fight last night?” He said “Of course I did. Did you expect any less?” Then he grinned really hard. He said “Oh by the way, there’s going to be a party here tonight after the race.” I said “Am I allowed to come to the race?” He said “That’s up to Vince, not me. If it were up to me then yeah, of course you could.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him. Thirty minutes later I saw Vince and I started a casual conversation with him. I’m either really horrible at this or Vince is really good at this, he knew right away I wanted something. He said “What is it Lacey?” I said “What do you mean?” He said “You’re either about to ask me for money, or something else, but you’re going to ask for something, I can tell..” I said “Well damn, alright, but I want to know…. If… I…..” He said “Quit stalling. Just spit it out.” I said “Can I go to the race tonight?” He said “No, not tonight. I’m actually in the race tonight instead of Dom.” I said “So, what’s that mean?” He said “I just… I don’t want you in that environment unless I’m watching you.” I said “So you don’t trust Leon, Dom, Letty, or Jesse?” He said “I never said that. However, there is going to be an after party at the house tonight. You’re more than welcome to hang out with the party, I might let you even drink or smoke.” I said “I smoke anyways.” He looks up at me and said “Oh yeah, I forgot.” I said “Really?” He said “Nah, I know you smoke and drink behind my back. Why wouldn’t you? I’d do the same shit.” I said “So you don’t care about drinking or smoking, but I can’t come watch a race?” He said “Lacey, it’s more than that, half the street racing world in the city shows up to these things. Anything could happen in seconds. I just don’t want you to be there.” I said “Will I ever get to go to one?” “Haven’t you already?” He stated referring to the night I snuck behind his back with Chandler and I said “You know what I mean.” He sighed and said “Yeah. One day.” Vince seemed a lot more frustrated than his usual days. Yes, even a casual Vince was frustrated, but today seemed a bit more than normal. Dom came out the back door, and called to get Vince’s attention and cocked his head. Vince looked back at me and said “Alright kiddo, I got to go. I’ll see you tonight.” Then he grabbed the top of my head and playfully shook it a little bit. He’s been doing that since I was little, that was his way of affection. He’s not the hugs and kisses kind of guy, Vince barely pats people on the shoulder. I started to head back to my room and realized the whole house had left. I figured this was the perfect time to walk around the house in my underwear and listen to loud music, and ya know, do shit you can’t normally do in a house with six other people. After two hours go by and still nobody is home I’ve grown bored as hell. I laid on my bed and rolled over to my back. I started thinking about all kinds of random shit, like people normally do when they’re laying down all by themselves. Then I started thinking about Leon. I thought about him to the point where I inevitabley turned myself on. Then I realized that I’m all alone, I can be as loud as I want and not have the paranoia of someone walking in on me. I sat up and took my shirt off and laid back down. I started to rub my body softly creating goose bumps and making my nipples hard. I closed my eyes and slowly let my hand ease it’s way underneath my panty line. I was instantly wet, I don’t do this often, because I hardley ever get chances like this. I slowly started rubbing my clit and lubricating my fingers. I gradually squeezed two of my fingers inside of me, and back and fourth they went, and faster and faster they got. It was pretty quick, but it felt so good. I started squirting and I knew that I was cumming. I’m not that inexperienced, I know what my body can do. It's the opposite sex and their genitals that I'm inexperienced with. After I finished, I relaxed and listened to my rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. Then I got up and realized that I was so eager to get a quick fix in that I didn’t even lay a towel down. I rolled my eyes because now I had to wash my sheets. Sometimes, I wish I was a guy. Stuff like this would be much easier. I can’t even pleasure myself without having to do chores. I hopped in the shower real quick to wash myself off, then I wrapped a towel around me, grabbed my sheets and headed downstairs to the laundry room which was in a nook room behind the kitchen. As I turned the washer on I heard the back door close and my heart sank. I wasn’t even doing anything anymore, but me washing my sheets in a towel just looks suspicious, and I don’t really want the awkward tension of someone even suspecting that I just got done masturbating. I turn the corner and saw that it was Mia with a bunch of grocery bags. She said “Hey Lacey, what’s up?” I said “Just got out of the shower. Did some laundry. I don’t know. Had a pretty boring day. Are all these groceries for the party tonight?” I tried to abruptly change the topic and get the attention off of me and it worked, she looked up really fast and said “No. What party?” I said “Leon and Vince both said they’re having an after party tonight after the race.” Mia rolled her eyes and said “Ugh, that’s great.” I said “We have parties all the time.” She said “I just wish I got informed. I was going to cook dinner tonight for everyone, but I’m not making food for other people to eat it, fuck that. We’ll just wait 'til tomorrow.” Mia placed both hands on the counter and as I begin walking away she said “So Lacey…” I turned around expecting her to just continue and she laughed and said “So, how’s your love life?” I said “What?” She laughed some more and said “When you used to help me out at the cafe everyday you told me you had a crush on some guy who you said didn’t even know you existed.” I said “Ahhhh, yeah. I remember that.” I actually totally forgot about that, and evidently I was referring to Leon, and at that time I would’ve never imagined him and I would be as close as we are now nor did I ever expect him to develop any sort of feelings for me, so I literally thought the conversation was harmless and that I wouldn’t ever have to bring it up again. Mia said “So does he know you exist now?” I laughed and said “More than you know.” She said “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said “I kind of told him how I felt but he didn’t feel the same way back.” Mia said “I’m sorry. There’s plenty of guys out there Lacey, don’t worry about it.” I only said what I said to get Mia to end the conversation, which she did, but I wasn’t expecting her to say it like that. I don’t want to think about other guys, I only want to think about Leon, and I sort of lied, because Leon does like me back. I couldn’t tell her the complication was our age difference. That would’ve ended very badly and she probably would’ve told Vince about my secret crush and raise a ton of suspicion about who it was and since Leon and I have been undoubetly hanging out, I think Vince would figure it out immediately. I just smirked at her and said “Yeah, I guess.” Then walked away.

CHAPTER TWENTY:

As it gets closer and closer to the party time I start getting ready. I put on a ton of makeup on and a sexy, but classy tube top and some leggings with boots. I want to look older than sixteen tonight. Not for slutty reasons, obviously because I have my eye on only one man, and I’ve only technically been with one guy before, but because I don’t want people to assume I’m sixteen. I for once just want to be treated like an adult. Also, maybe nobody will look at me weird if I’m walking around drinking. After I’m done getting ready I go outside and start rolling blunts for me throughout the night. Vince walks up from the back porch for whatever reason, and I didn’t even hear him pull up. To be honest it scared me and made me jump, causing me to drop four blunts I’ve already rolled. Vince picks them up and says “One of them is mine since I’m the coolest brother in the world.” I said “Oh yeah?” He said “Am I not?” Then laughed and walked away. I’m guessing by his extremely good mood, that he won the race tonight so I didn’t even have to ask. Literally minutes later a bunch of random people show up meaning the party has officially begun. It’s weird because as much as I want to fit into this lifestyle, I already wish people would leave my house. This isn’t even the first big party we’ve thrown here, people on the whole block know us as the loud obnoxious party house. They don’t call the cops on us anymore though. I feel really socially awkward, and kind of just want to sit in my room the whole time, but I told myself I didn’t do all this makeup for no reason. I step outside and smoke the first blunt, I figured this would help me get into the laid back party mood. Jesse plops down next to me on the porch, it’s an odd thing because it’s usually Leon who sits down next to me on the porch. Jesse said “Hey Lacey. Finally apart of the big dogs, huh?” I laughed and said “Haven’t I technically always been?” He said “Well, with a brother like Vince I couldn’t disagree.” I pass him the blunt and he took it and said “Aye, thanks.” It was cool chilling with Jesse. He’s actually the first person I “bought” weed from. I knew I could trust him because literally nobody found out about it, and I thought it was cool since he gave it to me for free and explained to me that as long as I’m safe with it and whatnot he wouldn’t mind smoking me out and giving me weed. He said that it would always be for free because we’re family. Plus, I don’t think Jesse really wanted to take my allowance money from the cafe anyway. The cafe money was really just shared family money that he technicallyy already had in his pockets anyway. Jesse is really chill, and has a hippie flower child type of stoner vibe. It’s honestly the best kind of stoner to surround yourself with. Plus, it’s been awhile since Jesse and I have smoked together or even had a deep conversation together. I broke the silence by asking “So, was the race eventful?” He chuckled and said “Same ol’ same ol’.” I asked “What’s so special about them?” He said “There really isn’t a general specialty to them. It’s all how you perceive it. I know they’re special to Dom because he pratically invented the street racing world here and because he grew up around it with his dad and whatnot. They’re special to Vince because it clears his mind. They’re special to me because it’s cool seeing the cars I worked on win. I’m not sure why they’re special to Leon or Letty, but it is what it is.” There was a bit of a pause and Jesse said “I can see why you’re so eager to get in on the races though. It’s funny because I remember Vince telling me that when he was back in high school he was really eager too.” I just smiled. Jesse then said “Do you want a beer? I won’t tell Vince.” I smiled harder and said “Sure, but Vince already offered me one for tonight anyway.” He said “Ahhhh, Lacey is growing up.” Then we walked into the kitchen and he handed me a Corona. He seemed a bit surprised to see me get the top off on my own without any effort. He laughed and said “Ahhhhh, someone’s done this before.” I playfully laughed and said “Shhhh.” A few minutes later Mia, Dom and Vince walk into the kitchen and Mia practically berated me like she was my mother and said “Lacey Maree is that a beer in your hand!? What are you doing?” Dom laughed and said “Relax Mia, should I remind you of how old you were when you had your first? She’s fine let her drink a lil’. Besides she’s in the safety of her own home. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Vince condenscendingly added on and said “Yeah, I already signed the permission slip.” Then he laughed and did the playful head shake thing again. I’m starting to feel relaxed now and even more so that I finally feel like I’m apart of the whole crew now, but in the back of my mind I’m starting to wonder more and more where Leon is and what he’s doing. I walk into the living room and instantly notice Leon sitting down in the chair in the living room with a blonde, trampy looking skank on his lap. I recognized her as one of his ex-girlfriends named Monica, who Vince has also had his fair share of time with. She’s a homie hopping whore. Leon didn’t look too interested which was odd, but it’s still disrespectful. He knows I’m here and could see the shit as easily as I just did. He knows I like him and he said he liked me too just the other day and then does this!? It’s not even just the fact that there’s a skank on his lap. If we have to wait two years, I expected him to have his fun with other girls, and if the opprotuity arose for me to do the same with a guy, I’d probably take it. It’s the fact that this is being done right in front of me. In my house in my living room. I stood there staring for God knows how long then Leon makes eye contact with me. He had to do a double take and then called out "Lacey!” I saw him practically push the girl to the floor and start coming my direction, but I don’t even care for his explanation or excuses at the moment. I ran through the crowd of people as fast as I could so he couldn’t get to me. There was so many people in the house you have people practically breathing down your neck, literally. I noticed that I couldn’t see him at all anymore through all the strange faces. I grabbed a bottle of Patron off of the kitchen island and walked outside where the party didn’t seem too heavy. There were quite a few people out here but not nearly as many as there were inside. I would sit on the hammock but a random couple is laying in it which makes me want to burn it and buy a new one. About an hour, I believe, passes and I realized that I may’ve had way too much to drink plus the marijuana wasn’t helping. I suddenly felt the urge that I had to throw up so I ran to the door, and fought my way through the blurry crowd of people and went into the downstairs bathroom. I don't really know why I didn't just puke in the grass outside. I blacked out for the first time in my life because I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t even remember throwing up. I just woke up to Leon standing over me. I saw him grab the bottle of Patron from my hands and place it on the counter and lifted me up and carried me to my room. Who knows how long I was laying on that bathroom floor. The next afternoon I wake up to two gatorades on my nightstand and a note from Leon saying You probably need these and call me when you’re awake. I said to myself Oh so I’m supposed to forgive you because you bought me gatorade? I didn’t want to call him. I didn’t want to talk to him. Okay, who am I kidding? Of course I wanted to talk to him. I loved talking to him. Plus, I do want to hear his explanation now that I’m sober and not so heated anymore. I texted him instead of calling him though to make it seem as if I didn’t care that much. A couple minutes went by and then he’s walking into my room. I didn’t sit up or even pretend to care that he was there. He said “I want to explain myself.” I chuckled and said “Why?” He said “Because I owe it to you.” I said “You don’t owe me shit.” He said “Well after last night, I should explain.” I said “What about last night?” I was trying to throw the impression that I don’t remember anything even though I remember everything that set me off distinctively. He said “The girl… Sitting on my lap.” I said “Oh yeah.” He said “You’re never going to let it go, are you?” At this point I figured it was silly to lie to myself and pretend like it didn’t bother me and lie to him and pretend like I don’t remember. I only had one beer at that point, of course I remembered. It was the reason I decided to down a bottle of Patron and black out. I sat up and sighed and said “Leon, I’m not holding on to anything, and I’m not mad. How can I be mad if you’re not my boyfriend? There’s nothing I can do about some bimbo on your lap. It was just the fact that it happened in our fucking living room, in our fucking house just a couple of days after you confessed you had the same feelings I do. How am I supposed to react? It did hurt a little.” He said “I don’t blame you for being pissed off and salty about it at all. It’s just that Vince "hooked” her up with me. If I declined he would’ve been even more suspicious and think something was really up between me and you.“ I was confused at him saying this and I said "Wait what?” He said “Vince thinks there’s something going on between us.” I said “He actually said that?” Leon said “Not directly or in so many words but he’s been asking a lot of questions implying that he suspects it. Questions such as "So you and Lacey have been spending a lot of time together, huh?" Vince is a pretty straight foraward guy so when he asks questions like that it’s because he’s trying to get to the bottom of something. Him hooking me up with Monica was a test.” I asked “Did you really hook up with her?” He said “No! I would never hook up with her again. She’s just a thirsty slut. I wouldn’t lie to you Lacey, I never have and I never will. I won’t start now. I did however tell Vince that we did to get him off my back. If he thinks I actually hooked up with her he won’t be so suspcious about me and you anymore.” I said “True. Plus if he really thought we were dating or something he would’ve already killed you for cheating on me.” We both started laughing, but my laugh quickly faded away and I said "Even if he was still suspicious it's not like it truly matters anyway, since we really aren't together." He said “Listen, I am really, really sorry about the whole thing. I know there’s no way I can take it back and make you unsee what you saw, but I just felt like I had to explain that it truly wasn’t what it looked like. She got super drunk, and I sent her home with her friends. That’s literally the end of it.” I said “I believe you. I just…. Don’t let it happen again. Even though we’re not together I don’t want to see that shit.” He said in a tone as if he was admitting something and said “Yeah, me either,” and looked up at me. He was most likely referring to Quinn. Leon and I actually sat in my room for awhile and started to talk like we used to. We actually shared some good laughs. As he was walking out I said “Hey Leon, do you want to come to this stupid play at school tonight? I’m going to be in it and the rest of the family is coming.” He said “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I just smiled really big. He always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He added “I didn’t strike you as the kind of person to really be into that sorta thing though. You're artsy, but you in a play? I just don't see it.” I said “I’m not really. I kind of got pestered into doing it and couldn’t really say no.” He laughed and said “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great regardless.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:

Dear Diary, I haven’t written in you in such a long time because I haven’t needed to. Leon became my real life diary with actual feedback. It was amazing. It was everything I could ever ask for. However, after I confessed to him how I felt we sort of drifted apart from each other. The bond we had for awhile seemed to fade away. However though, he admitted to feeling the same way about me. Our age difference was the only problem, well and my brother. So I guess I’m back to resorting to you with my problems. I’m just worried that in two years time we won’t feel the same way we do now. I really wish I could go back to the days when I barely knew anything about him. I wish I could be that fifteen year old girl again with just a little crush. Things were way more simple back then. I miss the feeling I would get when he walked by, and I don’t feel that anymore. Then again, him and I never really talked back then at all so I did gain a lot. I thought being sixteen was going to change things for me. I thought the family would start respecting me and treat me more like an adult, and it seemingly worked out that way for awhile, until after I told Leon how I felt and it seemed as if I back tracked to being fifteen again. I sometimes wish I could go even further back to when I was a little girl. When Vince would give me underdogs on the swing set, when he’d read me stories to bed, and when being on top of the world was simply sitting on his shoulders. I daresay that the euphoric feeling I got from sitting on Vince’s shoulders will never again exist within me. I miss family game nights, and family movie nights. Being sixteen sucks. The older I get the more I realize how shitty this life and the world can be, and here I was in such a rush to grow up and be an adult.

There is nothing to really even talk about when it comes to the play. I did farely well I suppose, but I was nervous as hell knowing my whole family was in the crowd watching me. I got so used to them not being around or paying this much attention to me. After the play I ran backstage to change, and then I met my family who all shared their congratulations with me. Vince hugged me and said “You were great, kiddo.” Then out of nowhere Quinn walked over to me and my family. I hated when the friends I had during my school hours felt like they could just walk up to my family. I mostly hated the awkward confrontation and the awkward questions I get from the said friend afterwards. Quinn said “You were great Lacey.” Vince said “And you are..?” Quinn responded with “I’m Quinn. Lacey’s friend. I take it you’re the brother.” Vince said “Yep.” Vince wasn’t actually interested in getting to know him or coverse with him he just said what he did to be a dick and to be intimidating. For once, I didn’t mind it. Mia said “Well, it’s nice to meet you Quinn,” and then she shot me this playful look and I thought to myself shit she thinks this is a guy that I like. Right after thinking that thought I look over to Leon who’s heavily trying to avoid looking this direction for obvious reasons and for those same obvious reasons he has to pretend not to care that Quinn is standing next to me. Dom walks over and hugs me tightly and said “I’m proud of you Lacey, you’ve always been quite the artist of the family, keep that up. Don’t ever lose sight of that no matter what.” I said “Of course not.” Then smiled. He gathered the gang up and they started to head out. I've gotten so used to that. Vince walked over to me and said “Want a ride home?” I said “I fucking wish I could go home. I have to stay here and help clean up.” Vince said “Alright, just call me if you need me, we’re not going too far tonight.” I said “Alright, I will.” As I’m cleaning one of the makeup stations Quinn walks up to me and said “So, you have an interesting family.” I said “Yep.” He said “So, I’m guessing you need a ride home since they all left you?” I snapped back and said “They didn’t leave me. I can call them whenever I want.” He said “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I was just saying that in hopes that you would say you needed a ride so I could surprise you with a cheap date to Burger King.” I began to laugh at his request but then I started to think to myself that Quinn isn’t that ugly. He’s your pretty average preppy looking guy. He wasn’t my type by any means, but still, I give credit to where it’s due. I also thought that if Leon and I can’t be together for two more years, where’s the harm in having some fun? I know damn well he’s going to fuck other girls in the meantime anyway. So why not? I said “You know what… That actually sounds good. Sure.” He said “Wow, really? Alright then, it’s a date.” I want to be the one calling the shots here so I said “Woah, woah, woah. Lets not get ahead of ourselves now. It’s not a date. It’s just two friends eating food together.” He said “Alright, I’ll take it.” After we ate, we got back in the car and I was honestly so disappointed. It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. Well, I haven’t been on very many but I don’t think it could get any worse or anymore boring than this. Quinn and I literally have nothing in common. He didn’t talk about anything I could even pretend to be interested in. We don’t have the same music type either. We couldn’t even talk about something as simple as music. I suppose he’s probably thinking the same thing I am though. I started talking about cars and racing and naming car parts and he had no idea what I was talking about at all. The whole time I was talking and making jokes, I saw this blank expression in Quinn's eyes that contradicted the smile on his lips. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about nor did he care. The whole time I just kept thinking to myself Leon would get it. I decided to talk about something we clearly had in common seeing how that’s how we met– art! Then he confessed that he’s only taking art classes because he joined the school late after his parents were in a car accident and all the cooler elective classes were already filled up. I did notice that he didn’t mention who he was living with now, since he mentioned his parents died in the accident, but I wasn’t going to ask. Kind of rude, in my opinion. Anyways, this entire night was a total drag. Quinn and I pull up to my house, finally, and he said “It doesn’t look like anyone is home. Do you want me to stay here with you?” I was seriously baffled by his question. Does he think I’m some fragile princess who’s never been home alone before, and was this seriously an attempt to get in my room after only one cheap ass dinner gathering at Burger King? I said “No, that won’t be necessary. Goodbye now.” He leaned in and abruptly kissed me and I pushed him off and said “What the fuck is your problem?” I opened the car door and said “Go fuck yourself!” Every part of me that wanted to feel bad for him just didn’t exist. Who the hell does he think he is? What makes him think he can just kiss me after one pathetic date at Burger King? I specifically even told him that it wasn’t even a date it was just two friends eating food together. What a cocky asshole. After being home for nearly thirty minutes I heard a door slam downstairs. I thought it was them coming home, but after I heard no noises or usual chatter I started to get an uneasy feeling. I immediately ran across the hall to my brother’s room and grabbed the baseball bat next to his bed. My mind wandered to who it could be. One of my family’s enemies? Would they hurt me? Wait, that’s a stupid question Lacey, they’d use you as leverage if anything. I thought to myself that this seriously can’t be happening right now. Lacey, you have to be smart about this. I searched my brother’s room high and low, and finally found a gun in the top of his closet. I knew I’d find one in here. I knew I would. I remember everything from watching YouTube how-to videos all about guns and shit. I loaded it and told myself this was obviously my best defense, and so far I’m currently undetected and I have a gun which means I currently have an advantage. I look down the stairs and I don’t hear or see anyone at all. I start to slowly walk down and head towards the kitchen since that’s where the slam came from. Nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary I knew damn well it wasn’t just the wind or my imagination. Every bitch that’s ever said that in movies ends up dying right after they say that shit and let their guard down. All of the sudden someone grabs me from behind but I was able to bite their hand and maneuver my way out of their grip. I dropped the fucking gun and now whoever this intruder is has it because the risk of trying to grab it was too high to be grabbed by them again. I had to be snappy with the decision making. I knew I had to run. So I did. I ran back up to Vince’s room and locked the door. I knew the baseball bat was my only weapon choice, but seeing how they have the gun and I have the bat I have a serious disadvantage now. I would only have one chance with what had to be a sneak attack to really fuck this person up before they shoot me. I started thinking to myself, that I should’ve ran to my room and climbed out the window on to the roof. I’d take my chances jumping off the roof than staying in this house. I couldnt of ran out of the kitchen door, I noticed it was locked. The time it would take to stop to unlock it would be enough time for them to grab me again. So that really wasn’t an option. The person started banging at the door and I was so scared for my life. Just as I was about to say my prayers and acccept the fact that I might die tonight I notice something poking out from Vince’s sheets. He had a shotgun under his mattress. I thought to myself “Jesus Christ, thank you Vince you crazy gun enthusiast bastard.” I loaded it and just as I was about to shoot at the door the person barges in and punches me. I fall to the floor and they try to rip my leggings off. My mouth was bleeding so bad and my face felt numb. I was able to move to the side and punch the person in the face with the little force I could manage. Which was a little effective they bounced back enough for me to get my feet free so I leapt over to the shotgun and didn’t even think twice about pulling the trigger. I shot the person in the chest and watched them fall to their knees then face first to the floor. I flipped them over and began to stab him with Vince’s pocket knife to really make sure the fucker was dead. Pure rage took over and I went overboard on the stabbing and when I came to, I realized what I had just done. I just fucking murdered a human being. A vile human being, who deserved it, but still. I start hyperventilating and drop the pocket knife when I see a pool of blood form and start to stain the carpet. I had blood all over my hands and wrists and clothes. I kneeled back down on the ground next to the person and and started to lift the mask off. My heart sank when I saw that is was Quinn. I’ve never killed anyone before or felt so relieved by murder. Well, I actually felt a sense of relief when Leon murdered the fuckers who drugged me, but then it was more so a sense of vengence. I also realized that there’s no way we could cover this up as easily as Leon did. It happened in my brother’s room! I freak out. I called Leon because he’s clearly gotten away with murder before, except for, Vince answered. He said “Jesus Christ Lacey are you okay?” I said “No.” He said  "Where the fuck are you?“ I said "I’m at home….” He said “What? We got a text saying you needed our help at the school.” I remembered setting my phone down in the living room on a charger and realized that Quinn probably took it and sent that so my family wouldn’t have came home while he was doing all he wanted to do to me. I said “I didn’t send that.” He said “So what’s wrong? And who did?” I said “Someone broke into the house and I was attacked.” Vince shouts at this point and says “What!? Where are they now? Lacey are you okay? Are they still there? We’re on our way.” I said “Please stay on the phone with me Vince I’m so scared.” He said “Lacey what happened? Where are they?” I started crying because I didn’t know how to put in words what just happened, especially over the phone. They’ll see for themselves when they get home and it’ll all speak for itself. At this point I feel completely numb. I’m just sitting near the doorway of Vince’s room, staring at the lifeless body that used to be Quinn. Why did he want to hurt me? Was it because I rejected his kiss and it sent him over the psychopathic edge? Or was this his agenda the whole time? Vince says “Lacey the phone is about to die but we’re right down the road.” Then he hung up. They all came running in the house screaming my name I was too numb and out of it to respond. All of the sudden they all came running up the stairs and walked into Vince’s room since they saw me sitting there. Vince had the most shocked expression on his face that I have ever seen before. He looked at the dead body on the floor of his bedroom and saw two of his guns and his pocket knife. They all had the most shocked expressions on their faces that I have never seen before. Leon kneels down next to me, I was shaking at this point and couldn’t speak. Leon runs across the hall into my room and grabs me a towel and wraps it around me. Vince then kneels down next to me and said “Are you okay?” I couldn’t snap out of the trance I was in and Vince softly shouted “Lacey!” I said “I’m okay.” Leon said “She needs to lie down before she hyperventilates goes into shock.” Vince carries me downstairs to the couch. They all follow and sit in the living room shocked and quiet. Jesse said “What do we do? Call the cops?” Dom said “No.” Mia said “Why not!? It’s not like we did anything wrong, he broke in here and tried to hurt Lacey. She was just defending herself.” Dom shouts back “The cops can’t come around here, Mia. They just can’t!” Mia said “Then what the fuck do we do, Dom?” I look over to Leon thinking maybe he’ll get the hint in my eyes and call this Saul and have him reach out to his connections, but just then Vince speaks and says “I have an idea.” Everyone eagerly looked over to him including myself. He said “There’s a place we can bury the body. The same place we burried Tran’s cousin.” Dom said “You’re not supposed to say that shit, man.” Vince said “As if it fucking matters anymore, Dom. The only person who didn’t know about it was her,” he says as he points to me. Leon said “I’ll call Saul and have him get his connections involed for the mess upstairs.” I thought to myself it’s a good thing he mentioned him otherwise I would’ve.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:

A couple of days go by and everything happened as it normally would. Well, if you were in my family, and used to committing such crimes. Leon’s conenctions through Saul came into the house and ripped up Vince’s carpet, somehow managed to clean the wood underneath, and it was like as if it never even happened. Not one drop of blood left anywhere in the room, or the house for that matter. Watching Vince, Leon, and Dom dig and drop Quinn’s lifeless body into a hole in the ground would make anybody else feel maybe frightened, paranoid, or guilty. To me however, I didn’t feel any of that. In fact, I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so numb to the whole situation. If anything I felt relieved that it was over, with what felt like a snap of the finger. The drive there and back was silent. I sat in the backseat with Vince as he held me tightly, as if he didn’t want me to even slip through his fingers just a tad bit. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t scared– I don’t know what he was to be honest. Once we got home, I ran straight up the stairs to the shower. Everyone else went quietly to their rooms as well. I think we all just want to forget this ever happened. These past few days have been nightmareish. I thought that things would get better in time, even if it was just a little bit of time but I still feel numb. I feel like the world has stopped spinning and it sat still and just gave up. I decided to crawl out of bed for once for something other than a shower or to use the restroom. I needed fresh air, but instead of walking outside my room and having to face everyone, I did what I always do. I climbed out my window and sat on the roof. The roof of my house was a sacred place for me. It was a place for me to be alone, and be with just my thoughts, and I could even see the LA horizon. Sunsets were my favorite. As I’m rolling a blunt to smoke I start to hear chatter from down below, as I listen in I could hear that it was Leon and Vince talking about me, so of course I chimed in. I could hear Vince say “What I still don’t understand is why she called you.” Leon said “What’s that supposed to mean?” Vince replied “I don’t know you tell me.” Leon said “Look man, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Vince said "The fucking truth." Leon didn't respond to this but I'm assuming he shot Vince a look and Vince said “It’s just that ever since you’ve been tutoring her she hasn’t really talked to me and all she cares about is you pretty much. I mean even that time she got jumped, she called you. I thought to myself, okay it’s reasonable, you were a lot closer to the area, but this time she had just killed a human being and her first thought is to call you instead of me?” Leon laughed under his breath and said “Look man, like I said, I don’t know why she called me that night, or the night she got jumped.” Vince responded more angrily and straight forward and asked “Is there anything I should know about between you two?” Leon snapped back and said “Jesus Christ Vince, No!” Vince said “Then why are you getting all defensive?” Leon snapped back even harder and said “Fuck you, I’m not. I just don’t like accusations or interrogations so if you got something on your fucking mind, spit it out.” Vince didn’t respond after this but all of the sudden I hear disembodied grunt noises and then see both of them fall to the ground, they are now in sight and I can see that Vince is on top of Leon punching him in the face. I don’t know what for though. Technically there is legitimately nothing going on between me and Leon and the little thing that did occur, Vince can’t prove it. Vince never thinks rationally though. However, Vince is extraordinarily smart. His hunches are never wrong, and as we can see, this hunch really wasn’t. Dom comes out of nowhere and rips Vince off of Leon and Vince just walks off and I could hear his car start and screech down the road all while Dom is lifting Leon up making sure he’s alright. Dom said to Leon “What the hell was that all about?” Leon said “I’m not really sure exactly.” I heard Mia’s voice in the background say “Someone should go check on Lacey.” I snap back to reality and scram to my window as silently as possible, I don’t want anyone to see me. I climbed through the window and shut it and laid back down just in time to make it look like I never moved, as the door flies open, and to my surprise it’s Letty. She doesn’t say anything at first, she just stands there, sighs, then drags my bean bag chair to the middle of my room, sits, and stares again. I sit up a little bit and stare back at her. She’s staring at me like she wants me to say something and break the silence, but I have no idea what she wants me to even say. She began to talk and said “I’m guessing you already know the question I’m going to ask you……. So just tell me how you are doing.” I said “Fine… I guess.” She said “That doesn’t sound too reassuring.” I said “How am I supposed to feel?” She just glances over at me, then says “Do you want to talk about it?” I abruptly said “Nope. I do not. I want to forget it ever happened.” She said “If that weren’t a mentally unhealthy option, I’d let you do that, but you can’t just forget it ever happened. You got to face the world and you got to own up to it. I mean I’m not suggesting you see a therapist or anything like that but you can’t beat yourself up over something that needed to be done. It was kill or be killed, right? You should own that shit and be proud that motherfucker can’t hurt anybody else, all because you were strong enough to end it. So, like I said; face the world, Lacey.” I said “What if I’m not ready to do that?” She bluntly said “Then you’ll never be.” Those words did not settle right with me and they weighed heavily on my chest. I said “Well, what do you suggest?” Letty said “Breaking the rules for once. Vince isn’t your father, he’s the only one telling you that you can’t come. The rest of us would’ve brought you along ages ago. Come to the race tonight with us.” After Letty walks out I hop in the shower and then sat on the bean bag chair wrapped in my towel afterwards. I sat there contemplating whether or not I even wanted to go to the race tonight. What was Letty going to do? Force me? I was a bit too comfortable in my room now, after not leaving it for days. I felt anxious about walking around my own house. I also start to think about this kind of lifestyle in general. It only gets worse from here, right? I’m only sixteen years old and I’ve killed someone, and instead of doing the normal thing and calling the police after an intruder tried to rape me, we burried the body ourselves. That means if I’m ever in trouble, I can’t call the police, I have to handle it myself. I have to be strong enough and wise enough to know what to do in those types of situations. Will I ever be? My door opened and it interupted my train of thought and I stand and turn to face Leon who quickly glances down as if he was the one embarrassed to find me in a towel and he said “Can I talk to you?” I walk over to the doorway and said “If we’re not in a relationship, you should knock.” Then I shut the door. It wasn’t in a rude way, and it’s not like I slammed the door, I just shut it like any normal person would close a door at any ordinary circumstance. I immediately regretted it and felt like shit afterwards, but at the same time I didn’t. Too many emotions to feel all at once and it made me feel like I just wanted to sleep for a month straight. As I nervously walk down the stairs I run into Mia and she says “You look pretty. Are you ready to go?” I said “You already knew I’m coming?” She said “We all do– except Vince. He’ll find out as soon as he meets us there though.” I said as Mia started walking down the hall “Is he going to be mad?” Mia stopped and turned around and slouched her shoulder at my question, and responded with “Lacey…… Who cares? He needs to stop smothering you. As much as I don’t want to necessarily be apart of this life either, I am. I need to be smart and taught and experienced with this life if shit ever goes down. Inevitably, you are part of this life too and you as well need to know the things we do, and be experienced.” I didn’t know Mia ever felt or thought this way. I wanted to change the topic and I was also extremely curious at this point what Leon wanted to talk about so I asked “Where’s Leon?” In hopes for it to be an exit strategy and to divert the attention to a different topic, and she responds with “Don’t worry about silly boys tonight, Lacey. It’s a girl’s night.” I said “With me, you, and who?” She said “Letty! Who else?” I said “She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to have a quote on quote girl’s night.” Letty came up behind us, wrapped her arms around us both, looked at me and said “I’m not, thanks for noticing. Let’s go.” As we're sitting at the race surrounded by hundreds of strange faces, I feel a little uneasy. I wasn't behind the scenes like last time with Chandler, I was with the Toretto crew and part of the script. Letty looked over at me and Mia and said "I'm gonna go talk to Leon about the borders for the location tonight." She left me and Mia alone which means she's going to start awkward conversation. She had an annoying knack of making any conversation with her, despite the topic, pretty much awkward. She sat on the hood of Letty's car and tapped her hand next to her signaling for me to do the same. She said "Soooooo." I condenscendingly raised my eyebrows at her and expected her to finish her sentence without me having to do much talking. She did and said "So what's with you and Leon?" I was totally shocked by this question. Why would she even ask something like this? I responded "Nothing! Why would you even ask that?" She looked at me like she wanted to say that I was stupid or something and said "It's pretty obvious you have a crush on him the way you stare at him in awe like an alien spacecraft is landing right in front of you, and the way your eyes light up when anyone even mentions his name." I was enraged at this point. How fucking dare she stick her nose where it doesn't belong. There's nothing going on between me and Leon, and even if there was it's none of her business. Is she the one who started raising suspicion and dropped the idea in Vince's head? She's starting drama for no reason. I've never had any personal beef with anyone in the family, but she's practically asking to be the first. I responded angrily and said "That's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it?" I was trying to keep my cool even though on the inside I wanted to claw her fucking eyes out. She said "No, it goes exactly like that." I snapped after that response and said "Who fucking cares if I have a little crush on him? I'm allowed to think somebody is attractive without it being any more than that. You're honestly trying to create something out of nothing, and even if there was something going on between me and Leon it's none of your goddamn business. But there isn't so quit assuming. You never talk to me, or Leon, how would you even know what's going on in our lives behind closed doors?" Mia looked appalled by my response as if she didn't think I would stand up for myself in that manner. She said "Okay... I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to... Offend you." Before I could say anything I saw Letty and Leon approaching us which means the conversation definitely should come to a halt. I'm sure Leon could tell how pissed off I was because I felt heated and enraged on the inside. I could only imagine how red my face must have been due to the anger and slight embarassment. He asked me "You okay, Lacey?" I wasn't ready to answer, but it didn't matter because before I could Dom called Leon over and he walked away. I could feel Mia's eyes piercing the back of my skull as she watched me watch him walk away. Later that night in the kitchen, Mia said "I am really sorry for just assuming there was something more with you and Leon." I said "He's just my friend.... I don't have very many. I don't want you to scare him away if he finds out I have a crush on him. He'll just think I'm some immature high school girl or something." I was really milking this lie to get Mia to leave the conversation alone. She said "I wasn't going to say anything, I thought it was cute you have a little crush on him, but I am sorry for the way I approached the topic." She walked off and I started to feel bad for reacting the way that I did. However, on the other hand I don't see why she even felt the need to bring it up, especially in a situation where anyone could overhear the conversation. Also, what does she mean she thinks it's cute that I have a crush on Leon? Would she think the same if she knew Leon had a crush on me too? Probably not. So, the thought of that made me even more angry. She knows there's an age difference, although it isn't drastic, it's still an age difference and I'm not eighteen. That's literally the only thing keeping us from being together, so the fact that she said the crush was cute sent rage up my spine. She wouldn't think it was so cute if Leon, the twenty year old liked me. I went up to my room to lay down, and try to get myself over this sudden hatred for Mia, and then there was a knock at my door. I open it was Leon, and oddly enough, for once I wasn't expecting him so it kind of threw me off a little bit. He said "Can I come in? I knocked this time." I laughed and said "Of course." As he walks in he sits down in the bean bag chair still in the middle of the room where Letty left it and he looked a little off. Something was bugging him but I'm not sure what it could be. He seemed fine a few hours ago. I sat down on the floor next to him and asked "Is everything okay?" He didn't make eye contact with me and instead, continued to look down at his feet and responded "it's just that... I... Never mind." I sat there puzzled because I didn't know what to do or how to respond. It's ususally him talking to me when I'm down and I'm rarely ever in these kinds of positions for anyone. He changed the subject though and asked "What are you up to tonight?" I said "this," as I pull my sketchbook off the desk of a drawing I was working on earlier. He said "Looks nice." I said "Thanks." The awkward tension seemed a bit more heavy as the conversation didn't seem real and I can tell something was really wrong with him. He seemed very down, just by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, and his dead eyesight; staring at nothing and avoiding eye contact. I asked him "Are you sure everything's okay?" I wasn't expecting a genuine answer, but I asked just so he would get the hint that I'm aware something is seriously bugging him. He didn't respond right away, but instead he got up and started walking to the door, I was assuming he was going to leave, but he closed the door and stayed in my room. At this point I was anxious, not because Leon made me uncomfortable, but because I have no idea where this is going and I don't like being put in the middle of situations right off the bat that could potentially go wrong. Leon reached for my hand and pulled me up from the floor as he sat down on my TV stand so we could be more eye-to-eye. He said "I've been thinking a lot lately." I didn't know what that meant even though I think I'm starting to get the idea. I didn't respond, and he grabbed both of my hands and rested them in his lap. He continued and said "I've been thinking about you." My heart started to flutter a mile a minute and I said "oh," simply because I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to respond because I wasn't expecting this. He continued and said "Ever since that night when you.. You know... I couldn't help but think to myself what if he had killed you? Or kidnapped you? All these scenarios kept playing in my head of what could've happened that night, and they all ended with "what if I never see you again?" I couldn't bare even the thought of that. I really, really like you. That night made me realize that, we aren't promised two more years, we're not even promised tomorrow. Anything could happen between now and the next few hours. All I know is that.... I can't wait two more years...." My heart felt like it was seriously about to beat out of my chest. Leon is basically implying that he can't wait two more years and that could only mean two possible things: either, he's basically saying lets get together now, or that we shouldn't be together at all. The vibe is leaning more towards the first possible outcome though. Leon slowly gazed his eyes to meet mine and I started to lean in closer as he grabbed my waist, but before we could kiss Leon's phone rang which caused me to jump. I read the caller ID and it said Vince. You have got to be kidding me right now? Is Vince a fucking psychic or something? It just infuriates me that of course Vince would be the one to interrupt us. The universe is playing games with me. I saw Leon's face grow with frustration as he sighed heavily and answered the phone. He said "What?" In a very monotone, but angry voice. He sighed even heavier and said "OK," then he hung up. He stood up and stared at me for a few short moments and said "I have to go." I said "I figured." He said "Can I come back later?" I just shook my head yes. Moments later I lay in my bed trying to wonder whether that really just took place or did I smoke some really good weed that made me hallucinate. I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up later by Leon asking me to scoot over. I obviously didn't hesitate. He laid down next to me and I gave it a few moments before I decided to try anything just to see if he would first. I was surprised that he didn't. I wasn't expecting it or anything. I was just nervous. I saw Leon as this very experienced guy who doesn't know that I'm not so experienced. Was he expecting me to have superb sexual performance? Would I literally embarrass myself? After a little while of him not trying anything I thought that maybe he just assumed I was tired or something since I fell asleep while waiting on him. I fell asleep again while waiting on him to make the first move, because obviously at this point, nothing is going to happen unless I make that call and I was too damn anxious to do so. A few hours later I woke up and was surprised to see him still lying next to me. I figured he would honestly just leave. I sat up and watched him sleep for a few short moments. Not in a creepy way, but in awe to his profound beauty, and that he was actually sleeping in my bed next to me and that this was really happening. I thought long and hard about the next move I should make, but regardless of how long and hard I thought about it, the more I felt myself trying to talk me out of it. It was ultimately going to be a tough decision to make regardless of how much thought I put into it. So I decided to clear my head and just go for it. I slightly tap his shoulder and say his name to get his attention, and as he was waking up, I sat on his lap and carressed his torso while I worked my way up to his lips. His hands moved slowly down my back to my waist as our tongues steadily locked with each other. I sat up and took my top off as he watched in admiration. He saw my tattoo and the nipple piercings for the first time and let out a big smile and jokingly said "So, that's what you got going on under there." I just smiled playfully back at him. He sat up with me still in his lap and begn to kiss me again, as he worked his way down to my nipples, and he sucked on those for awhile. Then he put his right hand in my hair and gently tugged back, as he worked his way back up to my neck.