maladaptivemischief

[maladaptivemischief]

Anon come back how do you teach yourself to purr

can't speak for anon but if you can gargle water, do the same breathing thing at the back of your throat, and practice until you can do it with your teeth together. Once you can do that you can adjust your pitch until it's about the same as a large housecat.

I had a friend who could make the sound come out of her upper chest but I've never managed that

[maladaptivemischief]

[maladaptivemischief]

"if you ship this thing it's because you're too naïve to understand that it's toxic and that you wouldn't like a relationship like this" actually it's because I see one of them as a mentos drop and the other as a bottle of coke zero and I want to watch the mess they'll be together

[maladaptivemischief]

i too have a pressing question: why are straights like this

[maladaptivemischief]

[maladaptivemischief]

Affirmations to read to your cat:

You are strong, capable, and wise without standing on my keyboard

You are respected and loved without standing on my keyboard

You are capable of accomplishing all things you set your mind to without standing on my keyboard

All things will come to you in time without standing on my keyboard

There is wet-food and toy-time in your future without any need to stand on my keyboard

Get off my keyboard

[maladaptivemischief]

Ohhhhh my god u found out somebody has a physically impossible fetish? should we tell everyone? Should we write a callout post?should we invite sigmund freud

[maladaptivemischief]

What time's your date arriving at, Orla, love? Derry Girls, Episode 5, Season 2

[maladaptivemischief]

oh so when the reader knows something i don’t it’s “dramatic irony” but when i know something the reader doesn’t suddenly i’m an “unreliable narrator” 🙄

[maladaptivemischief]

[maladaptivemischief]

[maladaptivemischief]

I could NOT be in feudal Japan. Here are some reasons why

I wasn’t born then.

[maladaptivemischief]

im just saying, i would be able to see an arctic fox if there was one nearby. i know what an animal looks like

[maladaptivemischief]

[maladaptivemischief]

disability rights involves the right to do fuck all. the right to be a useless member of society and STILL be loved and cared for and have a fair standard of living. human beings are not defined by the capital we produce.

[maladaptivemischief]

while kissing my cat's little head: you're a problem *smooch* you're a terror *smooch* you're a menace to society *smooch smooch smooch*

[maladaptivemischief]

Nothing gives the same kind of random ego boost like managing to finally clean up your home and making it nice. Like ooh look at me, I'm living like people do, I made myself iced tea and I am eating my snack from a real plate. I got floors and shit.