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The Queen aging over time through banknotes.

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How to trick natives into thinking German is your first language - stop talking like a textbook

this guide is intended for learners who already have a good grasp of standard written and spoken German and are familiar with basic linguistic terminology

contractions/reductions*

*apostrophes (’) are shown for explanatory purposes, they are usually optional

in sentences with a conjugated modal verb and one infinitive, the infinitive can be omitted if its meaning can be assumed by the relationship between the subject(s) and object(s) Sie will ein Glas Milch haben. > Sie will ein Glas Milch. Kann er Deutsch sprechen? > Kann er Deutsch? Wir wollen nach Deutschland reisen. > Wir wollen nach Deutschland. Ich will zu dir gehen. > Ich will zu dir. Das Kind muss ins Bett gehen. > Das Kind muss ins Bett. Das darf ich nicht machen. > Das darf ich nicht.

the verb infinitive ending -en can become -’n gehen > geh’n sehen > seh’n wollen > woll’n lecken > leck’n

-e can be removed from the end of conjugated verbs habe > hab’ hätte > hätt’ trage > trag’ wäre > wär’

es can be reduced to -’s on the end of the preceding word du es > du’s ich es > ich’s los geht es > los geht’s was gibt es? > was gibt’s?

the ei- is lost from the beginning of the indefinite article ein > ’n eine > ’ne einen > ’nen einem > ’nem einer > ’ner irgendeine > irgend’ne etc.

if du proceeds its conjugated verb, it can be reduced to -e on the end of the preceding verb bist du > biste hast du > haste kannst du > kannste warst du > warste

unofficial prepositional contractions (ein/den/einen becomes -’n, dem becomes -’m, das becomes -’s) auf dem > auf’m durch das > durch’s für das > für’s für ein/den/einen > für’n hinter dem > hinter’m mit dem > mit’m (> mim) unter das > unter’s etc.

reduction of prepositional compounds (dar- becomes dr- and her- becomes r-) darin > drin darauf > drauf heraus > raus herein > rein etc.

in questions with a second or third person singular conjugated verb, “denn” can be moved to directly proceed the verb, where it is reduced to -’n, causing the t sound to be reduced to a glottal stop when pronounced was ist das denn? > was is(t)’n das? wie heißt du denn? > wie heißt’n du? it is common to see more than one of the above contractions/reductions used together das wäre es > das wär’s ich bin es > ich bin’s ich habe es > ich hab’s

some other words that can be reduced/contracted andere > andre besondere > besondre gerade > grade > grad irgendetwas > irgendwas/etwas > was irgendwelche > welche ist > is’ ist so > isso nicht > nich (north) or net/nit (south) nichts > nix mal > ma schonmal > schoma so ist es > so isses

other

corresponding relative pronouns instead of third person pronouns sie > die, ihr > der er > der, ihn > den, ihm > dem sie > die, ihnen > denen

instead of “ja” jap jepp jo joa ju jupp

instead of “nein” nee/ne nöö/nö

instead of “oder?” at the end of a sentence to make it a question ne? (north) gell? (south) nicht wahr? stimmt’s?

make sure you know how to use these words, they will help make you sound less sharp and robotic aber auch bloß doch eben eh einmal erst etwa gerade halt ja mal na naja nun nur ohnehin schon sowieso vielleicht wohl

fillers/expressions of surprise ach/achso - aha/I see/oh okay Alter/Digga/Mann - dude/man/bro/mate ah/äh/eh/oh - ah/oh ahm/ähm/ehm/öhm - um/erm au/aua/autsch - ow/ouch bäh/igitt/pfui - ew/ugh/yuck boah - wow ey - hey/jeez hä? - huh? oha - wow (oh mein) Gott - (oh my) god was zur Hölle/was zum Teufel - what the hell/what the fuck

texting/informal online usage

abbreviations bis bald > bb bis dann > bd bisschen/bisserl/bissle > bissn/bissl eigentlich > eig einfach > einf (gute) Nacht > (g)n8 hab dich (ganz doll) lieb > hd(gd)l ich dich auch > ida ich liebe dich > ild irgendwie > iwie, irgendwann > iwann, irgendwo > iwo, etc. jetzt > jz keine Ahnung > ka kein Bock > kb kein Plan/Problem > kp kein Ding > kd vielleicht > vllt was machst (du so)? > wm(ds)

laughing haha - normal laugh hihi - giggle hehe - cute/evil/annoying laugh höhö/hühü - cute/annoying/sarcastic/satirical/stupid laugh

use this emoji 🙈 (monkey covering eyes with hands) if you are nervous/embarrassed to say something you are talking to or about your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc. something is cute/adorable someone has given you a compliment

pronunciation^

^these apply to the spoken language, written examples are only given for explanatory purposes

-en, -em and -el become syllabic n m and l respectively heißen > heißn diesem > diesm Vogel > Vogl

short i can sound like an unstressed ü or like it has been omitted altogether schwimmen > schwümmn sind > sünt ich habe es > chaps

the combinations ls and ns can sound like there is a t before the s als > alts ich will es > chwüllts eins > eints übrigens > übrigents

d and t before -en are pronounced as a glottal stop with the lips apart and the tip of the tongue touching just behind the top front teeth braten > bra'n retten > re'n Duden > Du’n finden > fin'n

g and k before -en are pronounced as a glottal stop with the lips apart and the back/middle of the tongue touching the roof of the mouth, the en is pronounced as syllabic ng because of the tongue position packen > pa'ng zocken > zo'ng Magen > Ma'ng Flaggen > Fla'ng

b and p before -en are pronounced as a glottal stop with the lips together, the en is pronounced as syllabic m because the lips are together Waschlappen > Waschla’m Krabben > Kra’m mobben > mo’m klappen > kla’m in the case of haben, the glottal stop is sometimes omitted altogether haben > ha’m > ham

▶ FAQ ▶ more German resources

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So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

Jorge Luis Borges (via 7mayforever)

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Twinstrangers.com is a website where you can register to find your lookalike from anywhere in the world by uploading photos, selecting your facial features, and looking through matches. (source)

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BEARGLOVE (via Sophie Gadd)

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2006-2014

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I love your blog so much. No one I know loves Supernatural like I do and it's so awesome to read about how so many other people love the show. I was also never into Classic rock and now I am obsessed. The show showed me what I was missing out on. 💚

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The first person to make popcorn must have been seriously freaking out.

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Russian Photographers Show How Birds See Our World And It’ll Leave You Breathless

Epic panoramic photos by AirPano

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Russian Photographers Show How Birds See Our World And It’ll Leave You Breathless

Epic panoramic photos by AirPano

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I love when people do this its how you know they love you.

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I’m crying