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memento-rory · 4 days

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OUUUUU MY HEART 💔 god this is so good!!!

Don’t Get The Blues

notes: I know I said I would give it a few more days guys, but it honestly did lift my spirits to keep writing. I hope you enjoy!!

three - long time lover

Charlie sighs, sitting at the table. He looks warily up at Ted and Eddy. “What is it this time?” he asks, before looking down at his supplies, trying to organize them. “Where were you early this morning?” Ted asks, his tone somber. “I was asleep, in my bed next to where you stand.” “Another man was robbed.”

Charlie nods. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he looks at Ted and Eddy. “The men were out on the fields, you can ask the tents nearby, we have been home.” Eddy clears his throat, before asking “And the lady?”. Charlie sucks in a breath, before pointing behind him at the bedroom door. “She’s asleep, last I checked. She’s resting today.”

“Is she alright?” Ted asks, looking between Charlie and the door, going to take steps towards it. “She was chasing one of the children when she fell yesterday. Cut open her elbow. She and Hasan got into an argument in the morning, so she went in there and went to sleep.”

Eddy tsks, before stating, “We can come back later. Ted would still like to question her.” Ted shakes his head, approaching the door. “I’d like to talk to her now.”

He opens the door, and you lay, asleep, your hair spread out on the pillows. He clears his throat, as you groggily open your eyes. You see Charlie gently usher Eddy outside, the two men discussing medicine. You look over at Ted warily. “I don't think you're supposed to see me like this,” you joke, sitting up slowly. He sits on the bed at your feet, scanning you for any other cuts and bruises before settling his eyes on your elbow. “Peach, what happened?” Ted asked. “It’s been a long time since you called me peach,” you mumble, rubbing a hand on your elbow. “Please.”

“I- I tripped. My arm hit a rock.” He looks at your face, scrutinizing the features. “Peach,” he says again. “Do you promise that’s all it was?” He takes his hand in yours, but you pull it away, as if you had been burned. “What does it matter?” “I’m worried.” “Worried?” “I know you’re lying to me, peach. I just…I can’t tell about what and I’m hoping it’s not what I think it is.”

“I’m not going to ask. I don’t care. I think you should leave.”

“You don’t care about how I feel?” Ted raises an eyebrow, before letting out a humorless chuckle. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he scoffs. “Are you on this again? Bitter I won’t marry you Nivison?”

“I told you I loved you. All I have ever wanted as a boy was to marry you. I love you. I thought you loved me. And yet you say no. Why?”

“You know why.”

“I had to see you,” Ted says. He adjusts his collar nervously, before chuckling. “I had to bribe Schlatt to see you. You’re a hard lady to come by.” You nod. “Things are busy at the farm,” you whisper. Ted nods again, “Of course.” You look at him questioningly, as he fiddles with his pockets. “Haven’t seen you in a while. Heard your new father died. I’m sorry to hear it.” Ted shoots you a small smile. “Always kind, you are.” “Teddy, why am I here?” You begin to fiddle with your own skirt, staring at the floor. “Marry me.”

“What?” You look up at him, astounded.

“I have spent the last ten years going to school, learning, giving everything my best shot so I could be a good man for you, peach. The kind of man you would marry.”

“I don’t-.”

“Peach please. Please marry me. He’s not in the way anymore. We could be happy. Please.”

“Teddy I can’t.”

“Yes you can. I have money. I have status. You love me. I know you do.”

“I do. Since we were five years old.”

“He’s dead. He’s not in our way.” He steps closer to you, his hands touching your shoulders. You struggle to think of the words to say. He looks into your eyes, holding your gaze. “And you love me. And I love you. I love you,” he whispers. “I love you,” you respond.

He leans in, and kisses you. For a moment, the world grows quiet. And then he pulls away. “But I can’t marry you,” you say quietly, stepping back. “Is there- is there someone else? Are you in love with someone else? Hasan?” You shake your head.

“It’s been ten years, Ted. My heart has changed, my soul has changed. I love you but the world has changed. We have suffered for ten years and you did nothing.”

“I couldn’t. My father-“

“You never said anything. You could have.” “And go back?” You look at him incredulously, before scoffing. “What, like there’s a problem with your past?” “We were starving.” “We were happy. And we swore we would change things.” You start backing away.

“Don’t go, peach, don’t go.” He stumbles forward. “How could you say it like that? Like everything we shared, everything we built was some wretched stain on you.”

“Fine. Hate me for that if you must. Hate me for the rest of your life. But I cannot, I cannot go on simply watching you from afar like we are children again. I love you. Please. Please.” Ted looks at you, manic, his chest heaving, feeling like the world had suddenly been deprived of oxygen. His hand is outstretched.

“T, I am going to ask you this once before I respond. Is it true you’re going to be sheriff?” you whispered, your eyes watering. He looks at you in shock.

“Ludwig heard. Word spreads around, even to your wretched stain.” “Isn’t it a good thing? I’m going to be helping. Changing things.”

“Oh, please. You’re not working for us. You’re working for people like your new daddy. The law here favors the rich. All you’re doing is lining your pockets and stepping on us. And you thought-thought I would want to marry you? You are betraying everything we stood for, for change.” “I can make change. I thought you would be happy.” You had reached the door, turning the knob.

“I stopped being happy the moment you handed that wretched man your suitcase. I cannot marry you. I’m sorry.” You exit, leaving Ted in an uncomfortable silence.

“What would you have wanted me to do, peach?” “I’m not the one with the money. You see the suffering. Do something about it.” You stand up, frustrated, as you open your dresser, slipping on your dress over your chemise. “You shouldn’t even be seeing me in here by yourself.”

Ted snorts. “Neither should Hasan.” “This isn’t the topic we were discussing.” “Did you rob them?” “Do you see me with money?” You cross the room, tugging on your boots, as Ted watches you. “Have a good morning, sheriff. Don’t come back to my home unless you plan on hauling one of us away.”

You open the front door of the cabin, stepping out. Ted sits in silence, looking around your room. Yours and Hasan’s clothes were both scattered around, and he felt nauseous.

He knew you best and couldn’t even bridge the gap between the two of you. And he was going to lose you. Ten years worth of mistakes laid heavy on his heart.

Hasan sees you exit the cabin, heading to go round the children. He drops his rake, having suspected a confrontation between you and Ted when Charlie and Eddy came out of the cabin talking. He starts jogging to catch up to you. “Are you alright?” You speed up your pace, before responding with “Fine, oh but sorry, are you going to now dictate how I feel, too?” “No, I can’t do that. I wish I could.” He pauses, mentally slapping himself for saying that, as you let out a gasp of astonishment and walk faster.

“I’m sorry, look-“ he grabs the elbow that’s uncut, forcing you to stop and turn to him. “Look, I apologize. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care. That I’m like…that I’m like that. I care for you. And I told you, I don’t want to see you hurt, not when we were six, and you scraped your knees falling out of that tree, and not this morning, when that buffoon tackled you. It was…one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I need to keep you safe. I can’t fix things without you. And just trying to keep you at home was my way of defending you. I’m sorry, I know you think it’s harsh. We should have discussed it first. But when I saw you on the ground, bleeding…I didn’t have any thought than to just…protect you. Like I’ve always done.”

He drops his gaze to the ground, where you were looking, avoiding eye contact with him when he had spoken. The gears in your mind turned as you thought. You look at him, knowing exactly what to say next. “I forgive you. But I want to make a deal.”

✩⭑✩

The governor shakes his head at Ted, sitting across from him. “Son, I don’t understand how you’ve managed to let these robbers slip through your fingers! When I put you on this post, I thought you were the best man for the job. But twelve. Twelve robberies have happened now, this is going to be in the papers across the nation if you don’t do something about it, Mr. Nivison.” Ted holds his head in his hands. “We don’t even know if they’re from here, Sir. There’s been robberies up and down the California territory.”

The governor sighs, standing up. “It’s been four months since this all started, boy. And it started here. So figure it out, or you and Burback will be relocated and shipped off somewhere else. I don’t give a care if you grew up here.” The governor shuffles out, as Eddy holds the door open for him. “Ted, we have to do something,” Eddy says, closing the door. Ted looks up wearily, feeling kind of queasy. “Eddy, we thought it was my childhood friends. And then we thought it was those campers by the river, and then we thought-“

“Ted, we're going to lose our jobs! Everything that we have worked for.” Eddy begins to pace back and forth. “I know. That’s why we have to try something new, something different.”

Eddy stops, looking over at Ted. “Well. What did you have in mind?” he asks, sitting in the chair the governor was just sitting in. “Hear me out,” Ted began.

Night hit, and Ted found himself at the outskirts yet again, this time by the stream a few hundred feet away. He could see the cabins, the tents starting to slowly shrink in number as more and more of the outskirters were building small homes. There was the small campfire, lighting up the faces of people he knew all too well, but tonight, he wasn’t here for them. He was there to observe. Look out. As he would for the next several nights in the hope of catching the robbers in the act. But he couldn’t stop looking at you, giggling and laughing with the boys.

You saw him, standing there, on the edge of the stream, looking out at all of you, giving him a small wave. You had tried to forgive Ted, you really did. But while you stopped being hostile to him, and still deeply loved him, every family you helped was a reminder of what you perceived to be cowardice on Ted’s behalf. Of what he could have been doing, of how he could have been helping. On how he had only come back for you when too long had passed. He came sniffing around with Deputy Burback every time there was a robbery, questioning you, questioning Schlatt, and Ludwig, and everyone else.

But you all were quick. And you were smarter this time around. And the people were grateful to you, grateful you were helping, and creating a community that helped each other out. What they did know, they kept quiet on, and those two men were kept in the dark. Only now one is standing in the dark, staring at you.

The boys start cleaning up, having finished their food. You and Ted watch each other for a beat, before you walk down the slope to the stream, carrying a bucket to fill.

“Evening, Sheriff,” you call out to him. He gives you a small smile. “What brings you back over here, again?” you joke. He looks around for a moment. “I’m on lookout duty. Seeing if we can’t catch those robbers in the act.” “Smart.”

He looks at you, watching as you kneel down to fill the bucket. “The outskirters seem to be doing good.” “We’re building a community, little by little. Maybe one day we won’t need you rich lot,” you say quietly, before gazing back up at him quickly. “Oh, I’m not sure you ever needed us,” Ted whispers. “I think I did. Needed you, that is. Maybe even now. No time like the present to help.” You hold a look between the two of you once again, as you stand up. You hear footsteps behind you, as you turn.

Hasan has come down the slope. “What’s all this then? Sheriff. You’ve returned.” Hasan gives his fakest smile, putting a hand on the small of your back. The light in Ted’s eyes fades, his expression turning to one of sheer annoyance. “I’m on lookout duty.” “Couldn’t get an underling to do it? Figures. Always had to do everything for yourself. Explains why you aren’t married.” You look at Hasan. “Can you bring the bucket inside?” you ask him, gently pushing it into him. “Aren’t you coming inside with me?” Hasan looks at you, pleading. “Why would you want to be out here?” he whispers. You put your hand on his arm, giving it a small squeeze.

Ted’s queasy feeling returned, watching the two of you, as if he was watching something intimate that he shouldn’t have been. “I’ll be inside in a minute,” you gently say. You motion with your head towards the cabin. “Go on.” Hasan looks between you and Ted for a moment, before turning with the bucket and climbing up the slope. You watch him, as he enters the cabin and shuts the door behind him.

“Are you in love with him?”

The words slip out of Ted’s mouth before he can even process it as a thought in the confines of his mind.

You whip back around to face Ted, startled and surprised. “What?” “Are you in love with Hasan? Is that really why you turned me down?” He takes a step towards you. “No.” “Really?” “No. No, it’s not.”

He steps forward again, and the two of you now are only a foot apart. “You know why I said no.”

“Two reasons can exist at the same time,” Ted says, as he cocks his head to the side. “I don’t have to explain myself to you,” you scoff. “You should when you broke my heart.” “You broke mine first, Sheriff.” You poke a finger into his chest, before repeating yourself. “I loved you, and you broke mine first. When you left me there. And then when you turned your back on us completely.”

“Loved?” Ted asks. “I don’t know what to feel.” You take a step backwards. “I love you. And I don’t care if our dream was childish, I never stopped dreaming it.” He takes a step closer again, but you don’t move.

“Do you love Hasan?”

“No.”

You spoke so quietly, Ted almost couldn’t hear you. But he did, and it was enough for him.

He leans down, and he kisses you gently, as if afraid you would turn into sand and slip out of his fingers again, as if you were some fragile porcelain figurine. It felt vastly different from the first time he had kissed you, rushed, heavy, and manic.

He reaches to touch you, but you step back, exiting from the kiss. “We shouldn’t be doing that,” you state. “Why?” Ted asks, tears forming in his eyes. “It doesn’t change anything to love you. Nothing has changed.”

You turn to go back, before giving him one last glance. “Goodnight Sheriff Nivison.” And with that, you quietly walk up the hill.

#rory recs

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