mentally-sick-state-of-mind

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

I’m doing bad I literally just want to sleep but my brain is reeling because of my stress about money because I got screwed over by my job and I’m ready to just literally hit da bricks

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

I’m a filthy disgusting slob who can never do anything right I can never fully be responsible for anything I always have things I leave incomplete I always fail I can’t ever keep things clean I always am left procrastinating I don’t deserve to be a human being I don’t deserve a roof over my head or any possessions

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

Wanting to put feelers out like “hey :3c haha so I might actually not be doing well right now, please give me attention” while also not wanting to ask for attention and DESPERATELY WANTING to just exhibit the most pleasant feeling toxic trait of not messaging anyone first and waiting for them to reach out to me

Because for some reason it just feels so good to like let my brain be proven right and stuff…

Sometimes it feels good to feel unwell in a way I can’t describe to anyone

I didn’t take my meds this morning aside from my bc since that is for physical issues that it honestly isn’t fully helping anyway but yknow it’s fine

I think I’m gonna let the brain worms win at least for tonight~

Besides all I ever do is complain complain complain and I don’t want to drag down my friends

And on top of that also

I never become a better person in the end, after anything that happens or that I do, I always end up back as the same piece of trash I was the last time I tried to be better

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

Trying to learn to just not give a crap now

Sent him a meme to hopefully get him to look at the chat again and see if he like, is just ignoring it or something

Because he also posted on his Instagram story :/

So I guess I’ll just shut down for a bit and distance myself from feelings yippeeee

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

You deserve to be treated with the same kindness that you give to others regardless of your faults. Compassion goes both ways

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

I understand the want to believe that you are an inherently bad person for the mistakes you've made. But would a bad person really care like you do? Would a bad person feel that guilt or want to make it better? Your want to grow and change makes you a better person than you think. Besides, everybody makes mistakes.

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

ahh

#wow this art really shows how I feel when I start to feel disconnected from myself and reality #like that’s how it is when I start to feel unreal

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

You aren't foolish for missing the people who hurt you. Just remember that you deserve better

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

I just for once want a guy to like reciprocate

And I don’t wanna meet new people because then I have to wait for them to get to know me and stuff and I’m tired of that

But like being left on read for hours and hours is making me lose my mind and like at least just *tell me no* if it’s not something you’d wanna pursue like please

Honestly I’d prefer if he just rejected me because then I don’t have to deal with the feelings and I can just like shut down for a bit but don’t leave me in limbo because I’m going back and forth between “I want him to like me so badly” and then “god just reject me already so I don’t have to deal with this”

Because this is so low in the stages of my feelings that I could probably squash out any of them before they get too bad but I need him to just say something

Actually okay thats a lie I can’t squash them out but I can learn to ignore it easier if you just TELL ME I’m gonna start biting

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

A-ha-ha guess who just had her bed frame slip down in the exact same way that every other bed that I have had has done even though I didn’t do anything

I’m to fat to ever have a bed frame I’m just gonna stop eating

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

Love going from having one of the best days to just being in a huge depressive slump

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

Yup this man is 100% not interested anymore

Ya girl constantly ruins relationship lprospects

Probably doesn’t even want to be a friend anymore

It’s what I get for being myself and being a dumbass

I hate myself

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

Is this just going to be a vent account about this guy now? For now right now probably

I feel like I’m bad at flirting and talking to new people I’m trying because I like him and at least want to be friends with him but bruh I’m so bad at this

I feel like I can’t talk to people like a normal person

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

I crave attention too much and I’m too anxious that i ruin things before they even begin…..

I keep thinking I’m over ambitious or clingy

[mentally-sick-state-of-mind]

Welp

He’s lost interest in me for sure

Oh wellll

There goes one chance down the drain by being weird

Trying to not feel sad about it. It’s not like he and I were anything

But it hurts to have a guy start off by flirting and then just

Stop talking really