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Imagine how fucking balls to the wall amazing a Hobbit Seder would be. It's all the things Hobbits love. You sit around a table for an excessively long meal, you make your seat extra comfortable, you tell lots of stories and sing songs telling those stories, and you eat and drink so, so much.

And you just know 18% of the time, Gandalf is standing there when you open the door for Elijah.

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i can’t take the people (jewish and not jewish alike) who claim that it’s mean and gatekeeping judaism when making fun of the “jewish” protesters seriously. A non exhaustive list:

held a seder on the wrong day…during the day (in front of the chabad no less which doesn’t seem subtle now does it?)

incorrect hebrew written on the “seder plate” for some words…and all of the words backwards

added extraneous elements to the “seder plate” like strawberries and garlic “for the cause”

had challah during the seder

jvp apparently hosted it and those are the same people who not only think a teacup of water/a pool constitute acceptable mikvehs, but also have a large non jewish membership…including admins who’ve been caught jewfaking

used trader joe’s matzah…which is made in israel

if you can’t invoke judaism correctly for a cause then why do you wonder when the rest of the community doesn’t take you seriously…

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i think it’s weird how a lot of people’s supposedly progressive politics include this longing for a (non-existent idealized) past in which all peoples lived in their proper appropriate lands and nature was untouched by man

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It will never cease to amuse me that anti-Zionists are managing to promote Aliyah and Zionism better than Israel ever has or ever could.

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If you can't just simply say "true, that was a bad thing with no possible justification" about anything "your side" does then I'm sorry but your opinions are worthless to me

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*slaps roof of autistic Jewish gay boy* this bad boy can fit so many mental disorders in him.

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are there any gnc jews who wear a tallis katan who would be willing to chat with me about it 👀

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are you aware that hamas was funded by Bibi?

my pinned post is temporarily unpinned because if my new main but like. yeah. I'm aware. I am very much anti-Netanyahu.

did you know this before October? i knew it for years, and not only that the man is a literal criminal and most of his government is consistent of criminals. he shouldn't be in charge.

what does knowing Netanyahu gave Hamas money tell you except that Netanyahu is bad? does it make Hamas's actions any less horrific? does it mean he's actually controlling Hamas and is personally responsible for October 7? it tells you he funded them. because he's a fucking wannabe dictator who needs to make sure his enemy is alive so he can scare the population into voting him.

but Hamas' goal is to literally eradicate all Jews, they said it on live tv multiple times. they see Palestinian civilians as human fodder and that the more people die the more they can justify their cause. I hope I don't have to remind you, but an organisation that is acting as your government usually shouldn't want you dead.

Netanyahu bad ≠ all Israeli civilians are evil or Israel as a state is inherently evil and should be destroyed. Netanyahu bad = fucking dismantle the government already and put someone descent in charge.

Americans elected Trump. fucking Trump. and you're judging our sorry excuse of a prime minister, when at least we had an actual political crisis over it trying to kick him out.

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Do you know this Jewish character?

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I could really use some help signal boosting my shop right now. I'm a disabled artist with no other income, and I'm in a bit of a situation because I haven't had a sale in nearly a month. I'm almost completely out of money, my phone broke last week so I can't update my shop or share WIP pics until I replace it, and I'm running low on some necessary meds. I've had to ask my parents for help paying for my storage unit for the second month in a row. There are projects I really want to be working on and sharing with y'all -- like a tapestry loom I'm making but am still short a few small parts for store -- but I can't do so until I get some sales or commissions! Reblogging this, or any of my other sales posts, would really help me out

My current inventory -- which includes shawls, hats, doilies, jewelry, kippot, bookmarks, and more -- is all available in my ko-fi shop, as are several customizable options for commissions. I am also happy to take commissions and custom orders aside from those options though! Just message me if you're interested!

I currently only offer shipping within USA in the shop, but if you need something shipped elsewhere, feel free to message me and we can get that sorted out.

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thinking about how so much of the left spent so long making dual loyalty accusations that so many jews had to reiterate that "judaism != israel" as in "just because i'm jewish doesn't mean i support anything and everything the israeli state does wtf" only for the left to turn around and start saying "judaism != israel" as in "israel has nothing at all to to do with judaism" as in "any and all discussion of antisemitism with regard to israel is irrelevant derailing" (at best) and have the gall to act like they're saying the same thing because those are the Right Words, right? forced them to put up a shield only to rip that shield from their hands and beat them with it. vile. fucking vile.

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the issue is less ‘what do you stand for’ and more ‘who are you willing to stand for it with’

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Got an email that was sent to my whole shul about how they just installed more security measures. Bullet proof and tinted exterior doors, two more armed security guards, a security committee, ect and I was reading it like you would read anything but I then just suddenly froze. The fact that we and all Shuls around the world need BULLET PROOF doors or armed security is just so insane and disheartening. We can’t even go to our own place of worship without being reminded of the people who want us dead. I’m so eternally grateful that my shul can even afford all of that but like I said it’s just so fucking incredibly disheartening and disgusting that we even have to do that and spend huge amounts of money when we could use that for other things. I could go on and make this a super long post but I’ll just end with saying please be safe and alert, even in your own shuls. You shouldn’t have to but this is the sickening world we live in. I love you all and am yisrael chai.

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why does every anti-zionist have a jewish anti-zionist on hand as a gotcha, but the other 90% of jewish folks are just chopped liver to said anti-zionists

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this is what jvp wrote in response to the butchered Hebrew. what a fucking joke.

Jews: "hey dude your Hebrew is written from left to right, you didn't even have the common sense to double check your spelling"

JVP: "umm actually it's Zionism's fault for forcing Hebrew on their Jews and erasing their real indigenous languages 🤡"

Jews: "you realise.... the seder plate.... is always written in Hebrew..... the language of the Torah.... and it has no connection to modern Hebrew whatsoever........ you literally just had to google a seder plate and copy the fucking words........"

and just to prove this takes 5 seconds to verify:

not only can you find a reference on google images pretty easily, you can also look it up on shopping sites like amazon to guarantee photos of empty plates (since a lot of the photos on google had the food items on them).

it's not hard to verify this, this even shows up if you google "passover plate" in case you somehow don't know what a seder is, there's no excuse for making a mistake on the most important item on the fucking table.

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Russia, 1881: We’re gonna kill any Jew that doesn’t flee Russia. We’re restricting Jewish emigration to Europe, but permitting emigration to the Middle East.

Germany, Austria, Italy, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Finland, Slovakia, Croatia, France, and others, 1933-1945: We’re gonna kill every Jew in Europe. Flee to the US or Palestine, or die trying.

The US, 1927-1952: Yeah sorry we’re restricting Jewish immigrants to like. 300 people per country. So good luck getting in. We recommend that Jews go to Palestine instead. Btw we are looking to take in Nazi scientists if you know any

Egypt, 1947-1950: We’re rounding up all our Jews and deporting them to Israel

Iraq, 1951-1952: We’re rounding up all our Jews and deporting them to Israel

Algeria, 1962-1965: We’re pressuring and intimidating Jews in the hopes that they’ll all leave the country and go to Israel

Egypt, 1956: We’re rounding up all our Jews and deporting them to Israel (again)

Egypt and Libya, 1967: We’re rounding up, torturing, and killing all our Jews. The ones that survive can flee to Israel

Poland, 1968: The Jews in our country are already loyal to Israel. They will face dire consequences if they don’t leave our country and go to Israel

Ethiopia, 1974-1985: We’re going to marginalize and eventually try to kill all our Jews, and the only way they can escape is by being airlifted out of the country by Israeli helicopters

The US, 2023: Why can’t the Israeli Jews just go back to where they came from? Don’t they all have dual citizenship or whatever?

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Not the West praising Iran didn’t y’all fucking protest them last year?