moderndaypandora

[moderndaypandora]

Just checking.... We all pronounce Miette like My-TAY in our heads, right?

#mee-eht

[moderndaypandora]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[moderndaypandora]

How did you give yourself an EAR INFECTION eating pussy

im just gonna screenshot from a text i sent my friends after the doctors visit

[moderndaypandora]

go executive branch go

[moderndaypandora]

[moderndaypandora]

my favorite calvin and hobbes comic is the one where his dad just rolls up and casually destroys his entire night by pointing out some neat trivia about record players

[moderndaypandora]

[moderndaypandora]

[moderndaypandora]

[moderndaypandora]

I want emo versions of idioms

Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

[moderndaypandora]

this may be the greatest thing in history, or at least this month

[moderndaypandora]

[moderndaypandora]

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

[moderndaypandora]

just learned there's a war going on in stardew valley with zero explanation and since the game swings wildly between anti-corporate utopianism and classic kill 3 skeletons for 100 gold this opens up some fascinating world-building possibilities, namely: 1. it's a regular war that's just kind of happening while you wake up each morning, tend to your radishes and then go fight monsters down level 80 of an abandoned mineshaft so you can get iridium for the wizard living in a mysterious tower behind your farm; or 2. it's a magic war that a regular guy named kent voluntarily left his family for, and if you complete his request for a fresh starfruit he'll start telling you about his ptsd

[moderndaypandora]

IG : @emperorofmischief

[moderndaypandora]

#let trapp use the ladder :(

[moderndaypandora]

I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"

Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.

............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.